Reflections, Reviews and Rambles

Irresistible Grace and the Nature of Faith

2012-02-06T23:18:00.000+00:00

NB: This is a post for theological discussion, not apologetic discussion. While some atheists may feel seen off, I don't want any debate that may occur to descend into 'Does God exist?!?!' like it probably would! On-topic debate only please!!

I haven't posted for a while and have been thinking about this topic for a while now so it isn't going to take a particularly structured form, it will be primarily a cross between a reflection and a ramble. However there are serious points in here that I feel need to be addressed adequately, I'm not writing this to point fingers and look angry, if anyone can accurately demonstrate that my understanding is flawed then great! I write this before I get into the body of the post, so it may well turn into a bit of a ramble about general Calvinism... So if it does then great, get discussing!! =D

Here we go...

Irresistible Grace suggests that when a person is chosen and indwelt by the Spirit they are unable to resist (kinda comes with the title right?). Now combined with Total Depravity, the choice is not made by the individual, the choosing and the 'heart change' (for want of a better phrase) is entirely down to the Father (again, correct me if my understanding is incorrect). Now these points are internally consistent, at least for what I can see. Faith, according to my current understanding, is then given as a free gift to the individual. Hebrews 11.1 defines faith as being '...the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.', other definitions include 'Belief and trust in and loyalty to God' or 'Belief that is not based on proof'.

My problem is this: how can 'faith' in this context be truly honest? Any belief, if forced upon an individual, is not a genuine expression or experience. So I suggest this: If grace cannot be resisted when offered to a person, the grace is not accepted it is applied. If this is true then the Christian faith is not genuine. While it is real, the consequences of this line of thought are, to me a little worrying. It means no real choice, it means that I didn't accept Christ. I was made to accept Christ. Now I'm not complaining of course if this is true but what really worries me is what tends to come afterwards...

...That only some are made to accept Christ. The rest are, well, left to burn (since most Calvinists also tend to believe in ECT I will generalise here, but I recognise there will be exceptions!). So, those who did not accept Christ will be tormented forever. Why? Well, not because they didn't accept Him but rather because they weren't chosen. Question: Why weren't they chosen?

This tends to be where the 'We don't know the mind of God' stock answer comes in, which seems wonderfully convenient when something that seems to be cruel and arbitrary is being defended. I have said this on a number of occasions but I'll lay it out on the line here, I could not worship a God who creates people so as solely to destroy them. A God who is love is not a God who creates people that have no hope for salvation. Not at some point in their lives when they're so far gone that there is no return but from birth there is no hope for the 'unelect'.

Often now comes this defense: 'But you're thinking about it the wrong way, rather than asking why God condemns, you should ask why God bothers to save some!!' - This is an epic sidestepping of the issue at hand. What I ask is this: Why, if God has the ability to save all and if, according to the majority of Calvinists that I've spoken to, Christ's death is sufficient for all, is it not available to all? I will concede this: the availability of salvation to all does not necessarily mean that all will be saved (that's a question for another time), but why make the death of Christ sufficient for all but not available to all? That makes no sense to me.

Anyway, I'm sure that if any discussion follows then my arguments will become more refined. As I said, this is a ramble/reflection crossbreed so I have not nuanced things, just written what is in my very dead, relatively ill brain.

For now I leave you with love (and the opportunity for debate),

The_Rambler
(Ben Martin)

P.S. Be nice to each other if debate ensues, any Ad Hominems will be swiftly dealt with. Oh, and stay on topic!

Metal Bear Reviews: Theocracy - As The World Bleeds

2011-12-21T00:02:00.000+00:00

I promised to write reviews on this blog, this is the first!

As some of you will know, Theocracy released their eagerly awaited album 'As The World Bleeds' a few weeks ago and having played it to death on Spotify I thought I would share with you a few thoughts I had. This is one of those albums that had been eagerly anticipated for a fair bit of time from Theocracy fans all over the globe, with their previous album 'Mirror of Souls' being released in 2008 to critical acclaim, everyone was rather excited to see what Matt Smith and co had to offer this time round. The reactions to the single '30 Pieces of Silver' were unsurprising, people were now just hoping desperately that this wasn't just a fluke and that once again Theocracy would exceed expectations. For me, 'As The World Bleeds' had a lot to live up to; 'Mirror of Souls' was one of my favourite albums in the 'clean-vocals metal' department ever since I reviewed it back in 2009 for Cross Rhythms (10/10).

This latest release did not disappoint, from the outset I was hooked. I remember sitting in the Moorlands library on the day it was released and not quite knowing what to do first, pause it after opening track 'I Am' and run to tell everyone I knew how glorious it was or keep listening. I decided on a mixture of the two, I told the five other people using the study carells and kept going. Actually that's a lie, I listened to the first track again.

Opening with 'I Am', Theocracy state their case both musically and lyrically from the outset. This track is close to progressive power-metal perfection, at least it is in my book. At precisely 11 minutes long it is a bold move to place the longest track at the beginning but it works. Holding my attention throughout I just had to go back over it; with it's epic build, driving rhythms, powerful melodies and soaring, incredibly emotive vocals there is virtually nothing I can fault. It is clear that the band gel beautifully; being the first Theocracy album using a full band on the studio recording ('Theocracy' was entirely Matt Smith's creation and 'Mirror of Souls' only brought in a bass player and drummer) the heart which unites them is evident. Blistering solos and some quirky little progressive sections are the icing on the cake to this brilliant album opener.

Other noteworthy songs include 'Nailed' where they continue to demonstrate their superb songwriting ability. You know you're going to divide a Christian audience when you write a song about the Reformation (the YouTube comments prove this...) but even if you disagree with the theology behind it you cannot fault it's musicality or its epic vocal melody; I even find myself singing 'Nail it to the doooooooooooooorrrrr!!!!' at random occasions! 'The Gift of Music' changes the dynamic tone significantly while refusing to detract from the overall content of the album. However, there is one heck of a solo here with such simple melody and such brilliant control that I cannot help but smile when I hear it. 'Altar to the Unknown God' has some sterling guitar work and is another one of those tracks that you just want to rewind and listen to over and over again.

Something I've spoken little about is Matt Smith's singing on this album, that's because there's little that needs saying. Once again he puts in a stunning performance with some (worryingly) high vocal parts and a voice that portrays the passion and emotion which is explicitly and, as a result of his exocution, implicity present in the music. There are some great choral parts as well which truly kick the album into the next gear, and from what I know Matt performed them all himself. Unsurprisingly, this is a brilliantly produced album. Matt seems to be something of a perfectionist in this regard, everything is just so tight that I dread to think how many takes it took and, as a result, how many tracks he had to sift through. The musicianship on this album is clearly top notch though, I mean these guys can really play. Too often with metal that is this melodic I think, '........meh.' but never with this album, while some of the melodies feel familiar I don't find myself wanting to turn it off.

Overall this is a fantastic album, infact I wouldn't be surprised if in 10 years time people are pointing to 'As The World Bleeds' and saying, 'See kids, THIS is how it is done!'. The main reason I have chosen this as the first of my Metal Bear Reviews is that it is also my favourite album to be released in 2011 and is a contender for favourite album of the Moorlands era. If any of you care about my opinion this is a stunning release, well worth buying. It isn't only for prog-power metal fans and it isn't only for metallers either, the melodies will leave you smiling and the epic nature will leave you wanting to throw your fists into the area and screech along as we all wish we could. I really think that if you are serious about your music and you don't mind something a little heavier than you might listen to, if you don't think this is for you just give it a shot.

In conclusion I feel it is fitting that an album which I (and many I know) consider to be both a masterpiece and a gift to their music collection contains a song with the lyrics:

Music is Your masterpiece, Your signature and smile
The glorious crown jewel of all Creation
Gave a voice and sense of wonder to this lonely child
Whose melodies ring forth Your coronation now

Buy it.

Metal Bear

5/5

Theocracy - Nailed

An Essay To Write...

2011-12-15T11:22:00.000+00:00

As I sit here in the library at Moorlands my head is swimming with information and jobs to do:

I need to get this essay done
No-one has emailed back regarding my dissertation research
I've got to do some reading for block placement
I need to run through the Bloodwork songs before Saturday's practice
Oh dear, I need to do some Christmas shopping!
My house isn't finished on Minecraft... I'll find time for that later

I have this really naff habit of placing my personal wellbeing far and beyond below everything else, I know that the more time I spend in quiet meditation and reflection the more focussed my mind, the more still my spirit and the greater the revelation. As it has been said, 'Be still and know that I am God', how often as busy Christians with busy lives do we forget that? How often as Bible college students do we forget to do that?

I have often fallen into the trap of assuming that studying the Reformers, writing an essay, because it is, in general terms, worship that it counts... It doesn't if it isn't done with the right heart. Our heart position on these sorts of things is absolutely crucial, this is something I picked up when I was at Nexus, something I was convinced I would remain true to. I am ashamed to admit that I've been found lacking recently.

I have started praying more though, this has resulted in conviction, in a hunger and a thirst for scripture. I am reminded of this verse, 'I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.' (Galatians 2.20). Oft cited by many folk it pretty much sums up where I'm at right now and how I am approaching these next few months (with, of course, a view to carry on!!). When I am in Chesterfield on block placement a significant part of what I do will be interacting with and spending time with strangers, people like myself who feel ostracised and who are hurting and broken. If you know me at all you will know that I suck at things like that, however as I reflect on and pray over this Galatians passage there is a simple yet radical truth which comes to me:

I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Simple I know right? There is so much in there though, so many implications. I am not for one second saying that I am ashamed of what Christ has done in me or that I am unwilling to speak His name. I am saying that through all my fears and failures, through all my insecurities it should be this truth that is manifested, not the bold faced lies that I am inadequate to carry out the task which is laid before me by God. I have no idea what that is, and to be perfectly honest with you I'm terrified.

I don't see comfort, I don't see acceptance, I see challenge and I see struggle. I see conviction, I see joy, I see GLORY being brought to the KING OF KINGS, I see knees bowed before Him in adoration, I see hearts open to the LORD OF LORDS, I see weeping with joy, I see broken lives MADE NEW, I see men and women who were once stuck in a lukewarm hovel being SET ON FIRE, I see new leaders being raised up, I see bold and prophetic declarations over each other, I see people FORSAKING SIN for the sake of the Gospel, I see people loving EVERYONE, I hear the screams and the cries of the justified rising up, I see a SPIRITUAL ARMY of the living, holy God, I see relationships, I see people stepping forward into new and exciting places, I SEE DISCIPLES WHO ARE LIVING THEIR LIVES TRANSPARENTALLY, IN FULL VIEW OF THOSE AROUND THEM, I SEE CHRIST BEING GLORIFIED THROUGH THE SIMPLE SERVICE AND WORDS OF THOSE DISCIPLES, NOT BEING SOLD THROUGH THE COMMERCIALISATION OF THE CHURCH.

For now I leave you with love,

The Rambler

What A Curious Term...

2011-12-13T01:11:00.001+00:00

I was sat playing my bass earlier today and I suddenly remembered I hadn't posted a blog for a good few months, to be honest I felt pretty awful. I had promised myself that I would post regularly and it just didn't happen, primarily because I have been fairly busy. I've got a few thoughts that will be spread across a few posts in the coming days but for now I want to discuss the last few days just briefly...

We are finished for the term here at Moorlands (I still have an essay to write, but that is a subject for another post!) and it went out with quite a bang: the Moorlands Variety Show! Involving Bhangra dancing, a rather disturbing video created by myself and a very good friend of mine Chris, some great music and to top it all off a marriage proposal (congratulations to James and J!!). However, the following morning I cleared off, skipping out on the final chapel of the year and the end of term breakfast, to Chesterfield to meet Mark Broomhead and his wife Sarah, founders of The Order of the Black Sheep (OBS). I will be on a placement with them for five weeks from early January and I am very much looking forward to getting involved up there with the amazing work they're doing.

One of my greatest 'smile moments' this term must have been the first meeting of the Moorlands Metal Cell. We are a small group of people, all from different backgrounds but all of us have a love for various kinds of metal. After I got back home from Nordicfest I found myself with a huge burden for the folk in college who had been alone for most of their church lives in their love for the extreme end of music. I have struggled in the past, perhaps under the radar, with opening up and being honest with people about how much I love extreme music. There seems to be a culture of almost apologising for liking it, I suppose I need to get over it but it is rather difficult.

'So what sort of music are you into?'

'Well, um, I like heavy music... But I also like lots of other things like Justin Timberlake!!!!'

Why not just say, 'I like extreme metal.' then have the other person pull a weird face, question your sanity and edge slowly away? I think like many Christian metallers I have this inherent desire to be accepted by the church and don't get me wrong it is better than it was 10 or 20 years ago, but there still seems to be a shying away from this 'black sheep' culture. We seem to be the ones who are just too far gone, we are the ones who will laugh off the jokes about our 'Satan music' or the 'Satan worshipping festivals' and who totally find them hilarious. How would a standard, evangelical Bible College Christian feel if I started knocking 'worship music'? I've tried it, it does not go down well.

Sometimes I wish people could listen to and acknowledge the power that comes with metal, you have this strange sort of dichotomy now: wishy washy, ambiguous 'worship music' which is as dull as dull can be VS powerful, declarative, unashamed metal of all genres which sounds like it speaks. I used to think it was my calling to turn every Christian into a metalhead but it just will never work, people are too safe within the confines of their bubble and if anything tries to burst it, well, decry it as 'noise'. I've talked about this before, I don't care if someone dislikes it just don't try to tell me I should also dislike it.

Metallers seem to be one of the most misaligned groups in the Church today, they are often left to their own devices, it is assumed that they will just band together and be a little clique. Now, while it is important to encourage each other with mutual passions, it is just as important to accept them into the body. I've experienced this to some degree with my current church (more about them in a later post!!) but there is still this weird sort of, 'leave him to his own devices, he'll work himself out!' vibe. When metal is such a part of me that I find it hard to have a conversation without working it in (heck, whenever I preach I end up quoting a song!) why can that not be accepted just as much as musicals, Switchfoot, sports, dancing or film? Why should it always be questioned/mocked/joked about?

Why is it that metallers tend to be the quiet ones who sit at the back of church? I'll tell you, it's often because they simply don't feel welcome. No matter whether or not you would accept them or not experience has often shown that they just cannot broach the subject of metal, it has shown them that people will judge them based on what they see (it still happens), not what they experience.

Anyway, this post has become a fairly lengthy ramble about something it wasn't meant to be about so I will go to sleep now. I will be posting probably daily for the next couple of weeks with thoughts, poems etc.

Goodnight friends, and don't take this as a pity post, take it as a truth post.

For now, I leave you with love (and one of my favourite songs at the moment!),

The_Rambler

Oh Sleeper - The New Breed

Orientation Week: Day 2 - The Socially Awkward Male

2011-09-28T23:54:00.001+01:00

It is day two of Orientation Week here at Moorlands and already my social skills are beginning to mess with me. Thank God I have the internet to be my normal insane self on, without it I'd be in prison.
Wait... I didn't mean that...

There is a strange experience some of my fellow internet dwellers may well understand, this is my Cherries version of 'Socially Awkward Male Enters Room Full of Many People He Does Not Know'...

You have an overwhelming desire to both leave and try to get to know people at the same time, this confuses you. Hunting around to try to find someone to talk to you realise that you are rather waiting for someone to actively make the effort to come and talk to you. Realising that you have placed yourself in that situation, no-one in the room has any social obligation to talk to you, especially if they are already engaged in conversation. You walk slowly through the room stopping awkwardly every so often to look at people and remember how unlikely it is you can legitimately enter their conversation. You reach the far side of the room.
Entering the kitchen you walk rapidly to the cupboard and remove a mug, now you have a safety blanket. Moving across to the teabags you allow yourself an inner sigh of relief, there is now a valid agenda to you having entered the room. You take as long as possible making your cup of tea, stirring constantly and carefully draining the teabag of as much fluid as possible before taking it to the bin.
Lifting the mug to your lips you remember it is hot and blow on it to save face. A miracle occurs! You notice somebody that you know you can have meaningless conversation with who isn't involved in any other form of socialising in the room, perhaps their previous conversant needed to urinate or defecate. You casually stroll over and pretend you only just noticed them, a conversation begins, it is normally a meaningless one which the other party is desperate to get out of. You notice a conversation happening which you could have meaningful input to. You look over and see someone inputting, you realise your input would be both unwanted and unnecessary.
Turning back to your safety blanket you notice that they have realised you don't really want to talk to them. They leave on a pretense.
Stranded you smile awkwardly at a female you have never met, get terrified that they think you're flirting with them so you walk quickly away out of danger into the safety of the corridor, the glorious embrace of solitude. You insert your left headphone, decide your right ear will be your 'welcoming' ear and walk slowly around the college trying to look as if you're going somewhere.

Day 2 has been fun.

For now I leave you with love,

The Rambler

The Rambler's Orientation Week Protocol

2011-09-27T14:40:00.003+01:00

Today is the day of reckoning, orientation week at Moorlands Bible College! As I sit here comfortably in my reading room I think back to this time two years ago when I was heading in to Moorlands with high academic and low social expectations. Oh how that has almost sort of changed!
This week is one of social hell for someone like me. I do not operate well in large groups of people, I am either in a strange mood and make an arse of myself or (and this is what happens most of the time) I sit in a corner hoping desperately that someone will want to talk to me. This is an incredibly depressing thought considering I am now a third year... So I have compiled a list of protocols for an orientation week which could be as pain free as possible and which will result in less cliques, forced/exaggerated personalities and subconscious competition to be the funniest, cleverest, strongest and most importantly... the most popular!

1) If you think you have a good idea to entertain people, it probably isn't and you probably shouldn't do it. Why not offer to make someone a cup of tea or coffee instead rather than vying to be the centre of attention?
2) If this thought pops into your head, 'I can beat that story!', please don't try to, it is only reinforcing the social pressures to be the funniest, cleverest, one with the most anecdotes etc.
3) During the first week of meeting people physical contact should be kept to a minimum, especially between members of the opposite sex (or if you're gay/bi, maybe restrict it with same sex even though no-one probably knows...). The only exception to this should be if you know the other person doesn't mind you wrestling/hugging/etc. them.
4) Guys, I'm pretty sure girls don't find it charming if you 'jokingly' flirt with them. Infact, I wouldn't be surprised if they actually find it quite creepy. Don't take polite laughter as genuine.
5) People may laugh at your stupidity in the first week or two, that is because they don't know you well enough to tell you to stop.
6) Try not to get carried away, rather than exaggerating yourself why not tone yourself down?
7) You aren't impressing anyone by being outrageous. (I should probably listen to my own advice here...)
8) Just because you're different doesn't mean people have to like you.
9) Cliques are inevitable, just don't isolate your clique from everyone else. All it does is create an unwelcoming and isolationist culture for those who don't thrive on being social.
10) Don't judge a book by it's cover.
11) Sleeveless tops are banned for the first two weeks. No-one cares about how big your arms are.
12) If you fancy someone, don't start stalking them. Ignore the fact that you are lusting after them and go about your daily life. If something happens then great, if not you'll just end up getting hurt.
12b) Be happy with where you're at, if you need a relationship to get you by then you shouldn't be in one.
13) Not everyone is super happy all the time, don't pretend you are but be reasonable about the expression of your emotion.
14) Debates in the Cherries are all well and good BUT:

Your opinion is not infallible
An attack on your position is not ad hominem
Anglicanism isn't wrong just because it is Anglicanism
Don't create a divide between evangelical and liberal, it makes no sense
Before you bash evolution, learn what it actually is
If there is a debate going on and you don't want to get involved, don't announce that fact, tell them that their debate is pointless then walk off. Just walk off
If you genuinely fall out with someone or begin to not like a person based on an issue you are debating (what you think of their conduct is a different matter) then you have issues.

15) It is okay not to like people at Bible College, just don't gossip about them and don't hold up a pretense.

Those are my tips for a successful orientation week, I'm sure there are more so if you want to add to them then feel free!!

For now I leave you with love,
The Rambler

Imaginaaatiiioonnnnn!

2011-09-26T18:07:00.002+01:00

There is something gloriously profound about the world of imagination: everyone has access to it, anything can occur, it is purely uncensored (unless you choose to censor it) and it is totally and utterly free. However it can produce awful, awful pieces of tripe like this:

Yes, I drew that. I started drawing the hairline of someone who was preaching and this is what it turned into. While I question what the hell my mind was thinking there is perhaps a deeper and more meaningful idea that this drawing stands for. There is no true aesthetic judgement that can be made. WOW, I'm a freaking genius, I came up with that all by myself. No, of course many people have proposed something similar. That is after all the philosophy of the noise scene:

While some don't like one thing, others love it. Unfortunately you do find certain... snobs... who in their attempt to live out the 'no aesthetic judgement' philosophy end up succumbing to aesthetic judgement themselves. You hear it all the time in metal circles, 'Justin Bieber is crap, metal is real music!', 'That stuff in the charts isn't music, listen to classic rock, that is real music!'

Now while some of these folk are making a personal statement it can often come across as an attempt to make objective something which cannot be. I oppose certain types of music (generally the use of autotuning etc) on bases other than aesthetic which I will address in a future post. This is what is so utterly magnificent about imagination. All of these songs (well,most of them... you can always admire the computers...) are the product of either individual or corporate imagination. Sure, you often also need the technical skill, talent and soul to perform and record those musical ideas but they have first been birthed out of the mind of either one or a group of human beings.

I refuse to decry anything which has been birthed out of the mind of another human unless it diminishes the development of other humans (which I think autotuning etc does) or unless I make it clear that my opinion is purely subjective. The human mind is an incredible thing...

So I urge you, next time you sit and listen to a piece of music to not think about how technically gifted the musicians are, not to think about what a wonderful voice the singer/artist has but rather to consider this: Everything of meaning that you are hearing on that record was first birthed, conceived, manipulated and formed by and in a human mind. It is only because of a mind that you have the privilege to experience the sounds that you are hearing. I often wondered why I loved music so much and why I refuse to be confined to any stigma, stereotype or genre; I think I have found my reason.

For now I leave you with love,

The Rambler
Follow @BenMartinBass

Nordicfest 2011 Introduction

2011-09-25T20:40:00.000+01:00

This year's annual European celebration of all things extreme in in the world of Christian music is nearly upon us. Yes that is right friends, the final Nordicfest kicks off in less than a month and already it looks to be a quality lineup:

Living Sacrifice
Becoming The Archetype
Whitecross
War of Ages
HB
Crimson Moonlight
Leviticus
Lengsel
Golden Resurrection
Reinxeed
In The Midst Of Lions
A Hill To Die Upon
Enshrouding
Dyst

As you can see, it is not only a varied line up but a pretty good one so far (and there are more bands TBA!) which promises to provide some fantastic music, great showmanship and 3 nights of sheer, utter, unadulterated brutality. There are some special shows in there, I believe this is the first time Lengsel have ever performed live so whether or not they play their newer weird alt stuff (the album grew on me actually!) it will certainly go down in the history of Christian metal as a night to be remembered. It is the first time in something like 13 years that LS have played in Europe, so again it will be an incredibly exciting show from a band that will be at the top of their game and who will almost certainly be excited about being back in Europe after so long. A personal touch, I have wanted to see Crimson Moonlight for a long time and have always missed out so I am very excited to see them.

My thoughts on confirmed bands:

HB

HB should be good fun and while their music is nowhere near as extreme as a lot of the other bands (they lean towards the symphonic rock/metal thing) I think I'll enjoy it quite a lot, let me tell you why. All the live videos of HB I have seen they are performing in fairly large venues, I am not sure if this is commonplace for them but based on my YouTube experience it should be good to see them in a small, intimate environment which often invokes more energy from the performers.

In The Midst Of Lions

I'm gonna put it out there, ITMOL sound a lot like Whitechapel (though I do think ITMOL are better, but that is pure subjectivity, no flaming please!) and I'm not a huge fan of Whitechapel... However, I frakking love this stuff live so while I'm not a fan of the studio stuff I'm looking forward to seeing these guys live. They seem to exude a lot of energy which is a good thing and I think they will thrive with the NF crowd.

Becoming The Archetype

I've been waiting to see this band live since I first heard Terminate Damnation and have missed every gig they've done in the UK. Seriously looking forward to seeing these guys and won't be surprised if they're headlining or on just before the headliner.

Whitecross

Well these guys are classic metal so I need say nothing more, should be a great show with some great musicians.

War of Ages

These guys seem to have consistently put out some great metal and I have heard from reputable sources that their live performances are quality affairs. It'll be good to see them, even though I'm not an avid fan I do like them and as I say, they are unlikely to put on a bad show.

Living Sacrifice

I hear a bunch of people on two sides the camp here, some say they are boring and others just love them. Personally I side with the latter group, I think they put out some great death metal (mixed with a couple of other things...) and I rated 'The Infinite Order' pretty highly, it was in my top 20 albums of 2010. Because this is their first show in Europe for 13 years it wouldn't surprise me if it is something of a 'best of...' gig, but either way I am very excited about this.

Crimson Moonlight

If you are anywhere near the Christian extreme metal scene you will know that these guys are good. They really are one of the best black metal bands around, whether or not you are a Christian and most people who say they suck do so on the basis of ideology, not musicality and sheer awesomeness. As with a lot of bands on the bill this year I have been waiting a while to see them and this will be an epic gig (won't be surprised if they headline the Saturday night...)

Leviticus

It'll be really nice to see these guys, a bit of classic rock in the middle of Nordicfest will make me smile and Leviticus are a good band to do it! I will probably be stood near the back with a huge smile on my face wishing my dad was there to enjoy it with me.

Lengsel

Boy has this booking got people in a stir! Lengsel are pretty legendary, existing for about 16 years they have released two albums and never performed live. These two albums differed HUGELY! 'Solace' is a simply incredible piece of progressive black metal and was very influential (and still is). 'The Kiss, The Hope' was a very different affair and had a sludge metal feel to it. I heard 'Solace' first and so on the initial listen of 'TKTH' was confused, I didn't like what I heard. Over time the album has grown on me, but there are a whole bunch of people who are really hoping they don't focus on the TKTH material. Considering this is their first live performance and assuming the band know and understand the legendary status of their debut album I am hoping they focus on it. Either way, this will be a show of epic proportions and one I am privileged to be attending.

Golden Resurrection

To my shame I hadn't heard of GR before they were announced but as any good festival goer should do, I instantly youtubed them. Holy Power Metal Batman! This will be a good one and a fun one. I love power metal and GR seem to do a good show and their music is just pure... well, power metal. Yeah. POWER METAL!!!! Looking forward to this one too!

ReinXeed

More Power Metal! I had discovered ReinXeed a few weeks before they were announced and again I loved what I heard. This will be another quality show. I can't be getting enough of the power metal at the moment...

A Hill To Die Upon

I haven't even seen this band live and I have a t-shirt of a tour they headlined in the US... A great black/death metal band who again I have wanted to see since Infinite Titanic Immortal came out.

Enshrouding

Great band, brutal wall of noise, will be a great show. If you don't know who they are then listen to them NOW. 'Nuff said.

Dyst

Again, hadn't heard of Dyst till they were billed and what I heard was pretty good though not what I'm really into at the moment. With so many mature bands on the list it should be interesting to see some fresh faced youngsters take the stage! Can't really say much more as I haven't heard enough of their music to judge.

Well that's all the announced bands so far. This is going to be a very good Nordicfest and if all goes to plan I will have a new and dedicated blog up the week running up to the festival. My hope is that the current blog will be a personal, reflective one and a new one will be dedicated to serving the Christian metal community with quality reviews, interviews and more.

For now I leave you with love,

The Rambler
Follow @BenMartinBass

Beginning of the End

2011-09-24T23:27:00.000+01:00

It is the Friday before the new students turn up to Moorlands Bible College, I have started a fresh blog, we have new housemates, I am back to playing bass and on top of all that I am now a third year student. This is the beginning of the end!

As I sit here in my cupboard room listening to the dulcet tones of Mayhem's 'De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas' I am reminded of the day when I first arrived to the campus. At that time I was living in halls, had only visited the college once for my interview in August and really did not know what I was going in to. To be totally honest I didn't particularly know what the course I would be studying involved and wasn't nearly 100% on why I was there.

I remember walking through the corridors with my meagre belongings thinking to myself, 'I'm really not going to find anyone here who likes metal, comic books and the bass am I. This is going to be a lonely three years...'. It turns out I found someone who liked one of the three, a couple of people are/were kind of into bass (maybe not as obsessively as I can be but you have to take what you can get in these situations) and semi-found someone who was into metal of some form.

To be honest though, there is little that can knock your confidence in who you are more than being in a place where the individual aspect of your personality can't really thrive. Now don't get me wrong, that isn't to say that people don't want to let it thrive, just that when people are simply unable to passively (or, dare I say it, actively!) nurture a part of someone's identity the rest of the psyche can begin to question its validity. Curiously, it seems that the most important part of my identity, that which is rooted in Jesus Christ, is the one which should be thriving the most in this environment. It is, however, a constant struggle to feed that into the dying parts of who I am because the feeding line is a complex one. When something is so deeply rooted (metal for example) and it is unable to be nurtured effectively within the context of the deeper core (Christ) everything begins to suffer.

We are a relational people, this is not a post encouraging people to attempt the nurture of personalities which they cannot effectively relate to but rather to suggest a new approach.

When you recognise something within a person which you perhaps perceive as lonely, rather than either ignoring it or *shock horror* mocking it in a jovial manner think about the impact your words or lack thereof are having on that person. If you feel able, maybe ask them something about it, appear interested in something that they are rarely able to talk about or that you know they might be desperately wanting to talk to someone about (be it a gig, a new computer game, a new album, book, date, whatever). You don't need to be over-sensitive, most people can take a jibe or a stereotype, but don't let it overstay it's welcome. There is always a line to these things.

On the note of nurturing, metal and being relational there is always a chance that someone is going to show up in the new intake of first years who I can invite round to listen to metal with me. It's unlikely but you never know! It's going to be interesting next week, I think I'll post tomorrow discussing 'Moorlands Orientation Week Protocol' which could prove controversial!

For now I leave you with love,

The Rambler
Follow @BenMartinBass

(Obscura - The Anticosmic Overload)

The Witness of Ink...

2011-09-23T19:49:00.001+01:00

I’ll start this post as I mean to go on, I have tattoos. I am getting more tattoos. I do not consider this a contradiction to my faith. Right, now for the meat…

I have come up against some opposition with my tattoos, some say they don’t like the aesthetic nature of them (perfectly okay, everyone has their tastes) but they are willing to concede that it is my body and that there is nothing inherently wrong or sinful about a Christian getting tattooed. Others will claim that there is indeed something sinful about getting tattooed, either citing proof texts or invoking the importance of image. I hope to address some of these arguments in this post and I am more than happy for people to comment and either agree or disagree, let’s get healthy discussion going =]

Proof Text 1:

‘You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord.’ Leviticus 19.28 (ESV)

Well… At first this seems like a pretty clear cut issue, but let us remember the first rule of giving a proof text; make sure you understand the context! If your agenda still makes sense with the surrounding verses included and the context recognised, your proof text is legit. So let’s try that shall we, just the two verses leading up to it:

‘You shall not eat any flesh with the blood in it. You shall not interpret omens or tell fortunes. You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard. You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord.’ Leviticus 19.26 – 28 (ESV)

‘You shall not eat any flesh with the blood in it.’

Hmm, we still kinda do that… oh, and doesn’t Paul say something about everything being permissible, not everything being beneficial and not causing your brother to stumble?

‘You shall not interpret omens or tell fortunes.’

Occult stuff is covered heavily in the NT and elsewhere in the OT, seems like an obvious one really and most certainly not confined to Levitical law.

‘You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.’

When did you last shave?

‘You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves.’
Wait… I find no references outside Levitical law to this… Um… Well, I guess I should stop shaving!

It is important as well to remember the context, the Israelites had just escaped from Egypt and were trying to remove themselves from the pagan practices of the Egyptians. One of these was to cut themselves on behalf of a dead relative to release the lifeblood. The restriction was to prevent pagan practice, the concept of tattooing as a witness wasn’t there (more on this later).

So it seems the argument from the Old Testament ends in either accepting it as an invalid argument or never shaving… Let’s move on.

Proof Text 2:

‘Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit!!!!’ 1 Corinthians 6.19 (ESV)

This is the only part of the verse that is ever quoted, the whole verse looks like this:

‘Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.’ 1 Corinthians 6.19 – 20

Wait, so what was he talking about that goes contrary to this?

‘Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.’

Critique

Although the context is sexual immorality, it does not mean that it isn’t true for other things and the prohibition of tattoos is for this reason.

Well, look at what Paul said, ‘EVERY OTHER SIN a person commits is outside the body’, so even if you consider tattoos a sin (which you won’t unless you also consider shaving a sin), the prohibition is not supported by this defense with the context being sexual immorality.

So it seems to me that Paul was not thinking of tattoos when he wrote this, if he did consider them a sin against the body he surely would have included it.

Non-Biblical Argument 1:

Getting tattoos is a form of self harm.

Well first of all people tend not to tattoo themselves… but let’s put that to one side. All I will say to this is ‘do you have piercings or do you consider them sinful?’.

The other question to ask is the difference in the nature of self-harm to the nature of tattoos, self-harm is often carried out in order to distract the harmer from some greater problem or difficulty. Tattoos are, from a Christian perspective, a form of witness and not a distraction from seeking help elsewhere or addressing personal problems. A poor link to make.

Non-Biblical Argument 2:

They don’t look very nice.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Many people don’t like long hair on men nowadays (many didn’t like it on me!) but hey, Jesus had long hair! (Poor argument I know, but go with it.)

Segway time… Who looks on the outside? Man. Who looks at the heart? God. What do you want someone who looks at the outside to see? Christ. Who is to say that tattoos cannot be an effective witness? The question someone with tattoos often gets is, ‘can I see your tattoos?’, then ‘Cool, what do they mean\what are they?’ – if I have a cross and ‘consummatum est’ in plain view I can’t really avoid the gospel message can I now!

This is not to say that tattoos are not for everyone, they are certainly still more effective as a witness in certain sub-cultures, but it is also not to say that if you have tattoos you must wave them around at every opportunity. The world is still coming around to accepting people with tattoos and not making character judgements. This does mean it can be harder to get jobs if you don’t dress appropriately (why I will not get tattoos I can never cover up), however if you’re sensible, you shouldn’t have a problem.

Tattoos are not a sin, you may not like the aesthetics but then some may not like the aesthetics of glasses and would rather wear contacts. I would ask two things of those who oppose Christians getting tattoos if you have been convinced by my arguments:

1) Please don’t make judgement calls about people with tattoos if you don’t know them, treat them the same as any other individual you might meet.
2) Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that the ink in our skin is not only a form of permanent worship but a permanent witness to what Christ has done in us.

If you have not been convinced of my argument, feel free to comment and state your position but let us be respectful =]

Finally some advice for Christians with tattoos:

Although it seems like a good idea to show them off, it can hinder relationships. Remember that you have to recognise where you are and be appropriate for the situation. If you know that flashing tattoos in a certain context will cause offense, don’t do it. Just like you might dress appropriately for an occasion, cover up appropriately.

So to conclude, if you’re one of the priest’s from the line of Aaron and you’re thinking of marking your skin in any way which identifies you with a pagan religion/practice then I wouldn’t recommend it. Otherwise, it’s up to you.

For now I leave you with love,

The Rambler

When Things Change That Really Shouldn't (originally posted on 04/09/11)

2011-09-23T19:47:00.000+01:00

As of late I’ve been seeking a path which is twofold, both within the Church of England and working with university students. I was planning ideas for when I graduate next July, I was getting excited about slowly pursuing ordination… Then Korea happened.

When you feel something is totally right, there is something in your mind and in your heart that clicks into place. I have felt three(ish) clicks of late, the first is a wider call to ordained ministry. The second is a more specific call to working with students and looking at models of parachurch which are effective for a campus setting. The third occurred not two weeks ago. When you fall in love with a country, when you fall in love with a people group and when you fall in love with not only the idea of something but the strange reality of it, the click is pretty immediate.

As part of my blog I have begun a series on the transitory nature of life, the first part was posted while I was helping to teach English at an English camp at a church in Korea. While the informal nature pushed the stress levels a little I kept looking at the situation thinking, ‘I should be really disliking this, but I don’t…’. When I kept seeing the lightbulb switch on in the kids’ eyes when they learned something new or realised what they’d done wrong and were desperate to correct themselves something inside me grew, something inside me loved seeing these kids learn English.

I then got chatting to a couple of American guys who were also teaching at the Camp and moved onto the topic of teaching English in Korea. I realised that ontop of my genuine newfound passion, I had some fantastic resources in Bournemouth which would help me to pursue this.

I am now planning on spending a few years in Korea teaching English after I graduate. This does not come without its difficulties, it comes with knowing I may potentially be letting some people down. It comes with possibly returning to a placement/church having already left… It comes with recognising that perhaps what I assumed was going to happen straight after Moorlands was never going to happen straight after Moorlands. It involves giving up assumptions but taking up something which I feel is the right thing to do, something where I will thrive and doing something I know will help me to grow and give me new skill sets and experience.

I am sorry to all the people I am probably about to let down. I am extraordinarily grateful to everyone who has guided me and mentored me. I would like to thank Alex for confirming in me a call to ordained ministry (I will ring you =]) but I hope you understand that having prayed and meditated on this, I believe it is right to push these doors. Do not think that the call to ordination has diminished =]

However, I will not apologise for doing what I believe wholeheartedly is the right thing for the next major phase in my life. When things change that really shouldn’t, often they should change but we really don’t want them to. Our response? Change with them.

The Rambler

Bass Sausage Sadness

2011-09-23T19:42:00.000+01:00

As some of you know, I am a bass player, not by profession but by love and passion! As I have, over the last few months begun to fall in love all over again with this most magnificent of instruments I have come across a very sad fact... What were once fairly dexterous little bass sausages are now limp little carrot sticks of sadness!! My fingers, my wrists and my forearms have fallen so out of shape that I am ashamed to call myself a bass player. Where once I could slap for England, I can now barely make it through the exercises I used to frequently use. Where I used to be able to play some obscure patterns and grooves, I've just lost it!

A lesson learnt to be honest, practice is incredibly important, even if you don't think you have time just half an hour every day is a good idea! While I love my Theological studies I have missed playing bass all the time terribly, but for some obscure reason this has been pushed to the back of my mind until a magnificent band opportunity arose. Now I am probably more determined than ever to get back on my bass playing feet, get these forearms working and reclaim my bass sausages.

I am currently studying some tapping workouts with a view to stealing some drumming rudiments and applying them to the fine art of two handed bass tapping.

I'm such a geek...

The_Rambler

P.S. Loving this video at the moment, it is ripped from a Warwick promotion DVD... If you can find it, get it! A bus full of funk legends jamming and spitting rhymes (I'm so hip...), it is something else... There is a reason I am in love with Warwick basses!

Five and a Half Thousand Miles From Home (Part 1) (originally posted on 27/08/11)

2011-09-23T19:36:00.000+01:00

A Discussion Surrounding Transition and Disassociation

I sit here, around 5500 miles away from the place I was born, the place I grew up, the place I moved to for two years, the place I currently study... and I feel just as much at home here as I do in any of those places. It isn't that I don't miss those places, those people... It is simply that the nature of life and transition will not permit me to be stationary at any point.

You see, life in itself is inherently in transit. If you believe in evolution, life is constantly moving at its very core, if you believe in a Spiritual realm then you also believe life is constantly moving. However we are all moving towards the inevitable end, a physical death. The transition from life to death is in an instant, less than a breath. It is to this point we are constantly moving and it is for this reason a static life, physically at least, seems to be an absurd one. The beauty of transit is the lack of permanent physical fixtures, when you are physically tied to something/someone, although it may provide some sort of companionship you discover it also prevents you from moving to the places you need to be. There is a problem with this, a physical disassociation with humanity requires a level of emotional disassociation.

This emotional disassociation is a topic for another post.

For now, I leave you with what I'm currently listening to. Otherwise known as pure awesomeness.

The_Rambler

No Surprises... Creep! (Originally posted on 18/06/11)

2011-09-23T19:31:00.000+01:00

Those of you who are total music nerds will have instantly recognised the very subtle reference to two Radiohead songs in the title of this post. During the course of this day I have continued to attempt to get a few thousand words of my New Testament essay written and have continued to fail. I keep coming back to these two songs or rather I have kept coming back to them, especially today. Creep seems to especially describe how I have been feeling of late; I mean, there is more but let's not go there.

Human beings rarely see themselves in a positive light, it isn't how we are and it most certainly is not our nature. Occasionally we find someone who tells us how it is, doesn't beat about the bush, exposes you for who you are even if that exposed person is the opposite of who you always thought you were. Once you are faced with a true mirror image of yourself you have a choice, do you ignore it or do you keep looking at that mirror, see yourself for who you really are?

What do you see? On that rare occasion where you've looked into the mirror at the correct angle what do you see?

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here...

That's what I tend to see. I am going to pre-empt posts and say that I think when we all look at ourselves we see something along these lines, maybe it looks more like this...

But I'm a fool
I'm not who I thought I was
Why do I bother doing this?
When I see my true face?

Okay it doesn't rhyme and maybe I associate myself more with the first one but you get my point, we all have a Creep style chorus which defines our true reflection. How do we get around this? How do we stop this, can we change it?
Recently I have questioned the ability we have to change it, I am a creep and I am a weirdo, I will never know what I'm doing here but we can certainly try to look at ourselves in a better light, maybe get some surgery. We will all have our No Surprises moments, some of us will have more than others, but despite those moments we all have this innate desire to keep living and to keep improving on the reflection.

This is a post to say that whatever you see in that reflection, whoever you really are, however ashamed of that reflection you may be, sift through it. Find the good in who you really are. Sometimes you will find very little, but hold onto that little you have. The whole point of sifting for gold is that you get rid of an immense load of dirt but end up with a few gold nuggets which are worth more than a hundred thousand palettes of that horrible silt and mud you saw when you picked that sieve up. Sift for the gold... It will hurt your arms and you may not find a lot of it but just keep going, get rid of the dirt, expose the gold and then you'll be happy to look in the mirror.

For now, I leave you with love

The Rambler

Why I Listen to Noise (originally posted on 15/02/11)

2011-09-23T19:21:00.000+01:00

I receive much criticism, both tongue-in-cheek and serious, for the music I listen to. I seem to have reached a stage of notoriety in some circles of peers for the extremity of certain bands and artists I choose to enjoy. I decided to dedicate this post to defending and explaining why I listen to certain types of music and, more importantly, why music is wholly subjective.

I understand that is a contentious point, I have had a number of discussions surrounding the evils of heavy metal, the dangers of satanic black metal and (somewhat humourously I must admit) the occasional person claiming the ‘satanic influence’ of anything with the accent on the second and fourth beat of the bar (curiously nothing is ever said about odd time signatures… is 23/16 perhaps the time signature of chaos itself?!) but I will attempt to justify my claims in this post.

Personal Reasons

This is perhaps the simplest part of this post. I listen to ‘weird’ music because it gives variety, every single time it gives variety. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good burst of cheesy pop now and then (I do own both Justin Timberlake’s live DVDs) but other than that my brain seems to be wired against the manufactured pop industry’s apparent motto: ‘They like this, so let us give them this a million times over!’ (Or as it seems to be becoming, ‘We want them to like this, so let us give them this a million times over!’). I remember the days when the Spice Girls first showed up, everyone was fascinated. I owned their first album on cassette but it simply wasn’t enough, compilations were the way forward for me. I discovered many different forms of musical outlet but all of them eventually merged into one big ball of ear-mashing boredom. I wanted more.

It was a good thing my father’s music collection was there to catch me when I fell, I was 11 when he took me to my first concert: Gary Moore (R.I.P.) at Portsmouth Guildhall. From then on I was hooked on what you could rather arrogantly call real music. But I will call it real music. Because it is.

I kept going, through the realm of classic rock I headed into punk. In punk, not being satisfied with ‘normal’ punk (I completely skipped pop-punk, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to more than 3 Jimmy Eat World or Blink 182 songs…) I wanted musical madness so, in my genre, I discovered Rancid. With Matt Freeman’s rip-roaring bass solos and Flea’s funk fueled aggression I thought I had discovered music’s pinnacle of energy and musical dexterity. Oh how little I knew… Browsing Pure Volume one morning at college I found, praise God, death metal. How had this eluded me for so long?! Oh yes, I had rejected anything that wasn’t punk as false and commercial.

Thanks to my musical training I could hear in bands like Necrophagist and Cannibal Corpse a musical technicality which I had never, ever come across. All of a sudden it was all about fret w*****y for me, I wanted to find the most insane technical music on the planet and I wanted it to be surpassed. Through the next year I found such bands as: Dysrhythmia, Behold…The Arctopus, Brain Drill, Meshuggah, The Locust and The Dillinger Escape Plan among many others. There was still something missing though, I wanted atmosphere! As I scoured the internet I found a whole scene of ambient and noise artists who specialised in creating obscure atmospheres: Gustaf Hildebrand, Sunn O))), Om, Niarch, Machinist, BORIS and Merzbow again among many, many others. I had reached the end of my musical journey, there was nowhere else for me to go. Quite literally. Everything was there from free jazz to black metal, renaissance to drone, pop to prog. The question I am currently pondering is this, where does music go now? It seems to me that there is very little happening other than the merging of genres. Bands like Ghengis Tron show up (I love GT!) and demonstrate to us that electro-pop and grindcore are perfectly compatible and this is going to start happening more and more. This is where my justification becomes pure.

I like boundaries to be pushed, I see the only boundaries being pushed in those musical areas which are ‘noise’. I listen to five Merzbow albums in succession and do not get bored, how can I? I listen to two As I Lay Dying albums in succession and, despite how much I like AILD, I get bored and want to put something completely different on. So, it isn’t that I hate familiarity, it is that I love unfamiliarity so damn much! I don’t get frustrated anymore at people who cannot hear complexity and beauty in such artists, it is pure arrogance. What will continue to anger me is the arrogance of other people telling me categorically that what I listen to is not music.

I couldn’t care less if you don’t want to call it music, just don’t then go ahead and tell me that it is objectively bad. We may disagree subjectively, I have no problem with this but please don’t assume or claim that I shouldn’t like it (or even worse that I only like weird music so I can be different).

So there we have it, why I listen to noise. I don’t expect many people to read this or comment on it but if you feel so inclined, let me know your thoughts. The next post will hopefully be better structured than this one and is likely to be about the claim of many of the religious right that ‘heavy’ music is somehow objectively evil. I will also try to address claims of backmasking and refute claims that some make regarding the overarching influence of satanism on rock and metal.

For now, I leave you with love.

The Rambler

The Problem of Individualism (Originally Posted on 09/02/11)

2011-09-23T19:18:00.000+01:00

This blog post is being written sat in Starbucks. In my defense I am meeting one of the Pastors of Westcliff Baptist Church, my weekly placement at Moorlands. My official placement supervisor is on paternity leave, his wife having just given birth to their third son (congratulations Chris if you read this!). It strikes me as I sit here that Bournemouth is a place for those individuals who feel shunned by society.

The guy who made my double espresso (lovely!) seems to be someone who I would get along with, I seem to have a penchant for those who are marginalised by their peers and feel an instant pull towards both men and women who have embraced an alternative lifestyle. Perhaps this is simply a desire to be one who loves. Having been rarely freely accepted by certain of my peers I was rather accepted with provisos. I must drink excessively, take drugs, be like them. I think that sub-consciously I actually wanted to be like them…

For people reading this who have experienced a) this sense of rejection and b) the overwhelming longing for close, tender relationships this feeling and draw should be all too real. However I think those like myself are far too likely to compromise our identity to pursue these wishes and these hopes. For those who have ‘attractive personalities’ (I have coined this phrase myself but I’m sure many others far more learned, literate and wonderful than I have used it in many far more effective ventures) it is no problem, they have consistently been surrounded by people with the individual looking up to them. This is certainly something that many people desperately wish to achieve. It is, I believe, one of the biggest lies ever told by those who would recognise themselves as being ‘alternative’ in some aspect of their lives that they genuinely are happy with the rejection they experience from society.

It has been my experience that those who have first hand knowledge of this rejection, myself included, have longed for acceptance within a ‘standard’ and within a ‘norm’. This is why alternative culture communities exist, they exist so that those who are marginalised have a home, they have people who they can identify with and are accepted by. This is not a problem.

The problem comes, however, when that just is not enough. Let us imagine a kindly young man called Derek. Derek has shaved one side of his head, he wears makeup, black clothes, is covered in tattoos and piercings and listens to ‘dark sounding’ bands. Derek has lots of friends who are just like him, they go to gigs together and discuss existentialist philosophy but for Derek this isn’t enough. He has a wonderful time with these people, he loves them dearly but there is something missing.

Whenever Derek sees a man he knows called Aaron he gets incredibly jealous. He doesn’t understand why, isn’t he happy with his community? He sees Aaron talking to all different kinds of people, he sees him mentoring people younger, older, of the opposite sex. He sees him preaching incredible messages which all the other people he knows rave about but is, for some reason, jealous that his sermons don’t get the same press. Derek starts to wonder, what is the point of his getting involved if Aaron is so good at the stuff he is average at? Derek starts to look down upon himself and starts to wonder: ‘If I was like Aaron, people would respond to me in the same way surely!’

Derek starts to crack jokes like Aaron, he starts to preach like Aaron and he starts to enjoy the same things as Aaron. Derek starts becoming Aaron. I hope that you can see a problem at this stage in the story. What may that be? I will tell you. Derek is not Aaron.

Sounds simple yes? It isn’t. Derek’s identity has, from infancy, been found in how other people view him and interact with him. He has consistently been in other people’s shadows because of his slightly bizzare nature and strange taste in things however because he is a human he desires popularity, he wants to be the alpha male. Derek wants to be noticed. Aaron always has been noticed, it is his make up, it is how he is. Aaron has never had a problem with this, he may have used it to his advantage a few times but he has never truly exploited anyone or seen himself as superior to anyone else.

Derek feels a natural pull to be like Aaron, as human beings we try to imitate something or someone if we see it as producing results we desire. However we will never truly be that being we are trying to imitate.

Derek acts like a fool, people don’t find him funny. His sermons are all over the place because he simply doesn’t have the incredible vocal and physical presence that Aaron has.

What can Derek learn from this situation? Imitation is an extreme of inspiration.

It is all very well for Derek to look at Aaron and say, ‘there is an area of my life I could improve in’ and as a result try to implement change based on his own character but to try to change and manipulate his own character to turn himself into a carbon copy of Aaron is incredibly dangerous.

This is why I called this post the problem of individualism, perhaps it should have been called the problem of the alternative individual but the original seems snappier. Being an individual is incredibly important, it is a beautiful thing. I love to meet people who are like-minded, seeing people express themselves in beautiful and personal ways but there is a danger that those like myself are prone to falling into. That is the problem described above that Derek faced, the problem of imitation.

I have fallen prey to this problem, I have struggled to learn how not to copy people who are better than me, I still try to copy people but I’m slowly recognising where I am failing to be inspired and where I am aiming to imitate.

Inspiration not imitation.

The Rambler

A Brief Introduction To... (Originally Posted on 01/02/11)

2011-09-23T19:14:00.000+01:00

This is a brief introduction to a series of reflections I will start writing on the topic of relationship. By this I do not mean romantic relationship but relationship in the broadest definition, how we interact with people, why we interact with people and why we interact the way we do.

They will possibly be incoherent in structure since they are more in a rambling, stream of consciousness format. This is why I sign all posts as ‘The Rambler’ even though many will be perfectly coherent and nowhere near the spectrum of ramble.

Something has always fascinated me about smiles, why do I smile at someone? How does that person interpret the smile? Is their interpretation correct or incorrect? Does that interpretation matter to our relationship?

Person A: *smile*
Person B: *return smile*
Person A: Hi there.
Person B: Hey, what’s your name?
Person A: I’m Daniel, you?
Person B: Rebecca.
Daniel: It’s nice to meet you Rebecca.
Rebecca: Lovely to meet you too.

A simple enough encounter yes? Or not. Daniel is a nice, friendly chap and spotted Rebecca sat on her own in a pub looking down, he wants to make sure she is OK and look out for her welfare. Rebecca is using this as a tactic to pick up men who she will later steal from.

Our approach to relationships is crucial to how other people see us, analyse your new relationships and think about why you acted the way you did. I was in a new place this weekend, I met many new people and I loved it. However I struggled to work out how to approach people, although I don’t think I came across as struggling (I think I did quite well actually) I have now found myself over analysing, this is where the reflection will begin in the next post: I see myself as A, someone else sees me as B, I cannot understand how someone can see me as B and they may not understand how I see myself as A. What happens then? Do we reach an unspoken compromise of C or do we remain in our own interpretation of personality?

Don’t smile if it doesn’t reflect the truth of your personality in some sense. I can happily say that I struggled this weekend because I was suddenly comfortable with people, I knew I could be honest and I didn’t like that… Because it meant honesty… It meant openness and I am desperate to keep that aspect of relationship away from me.

This is where I shall stop, because if I continue it means being honest and open in a public forum.

Why I wrote this I do not know, it seems to have been a necessary action but I do not understand why. Let us try to be more open and honest in our personal relationships, but do not open yourself up so much that you are hurt. The past may kill you, the door may have been firmly shut for many years but try opening that door just slightly to one or two people and you will find it rewarding. Challenging but rewarding. Here is a further challenge, open that door to someone you haven’t known for very long. Make it an exercise in trust. You will desperately want to slam that door, you will want to remain safe in the lonely and empty world which is oh so comfortable but someone may just surprise you.

The Rambler

A Glorious Weekend (Originally posted on Jan 31st 2011)

2011-09-23T19:12:00.000+01:00

Some of you will know that I study Applied Theology at Moorlands Bible College near Bournemouth, as part of my second year I am required to spend five weeks working with a church in the UK. Thanks to the wonderful establishment that is Greenbelt I met a chap called Alex Gowing-Cumber who is the vicar of All-Saints Church in Chafford Hundred near London.

The placement doesn’t start until the 19th of February but I felt I should a) get a head start and b) get to know the place a little bit so I came down on Saturday afternoon and have spent the weekend here. I’m currently sat in the coffee shop in the Beacon Centre (the community centre the church is set in. I will be sure to post photos when I’m back.) This post are some of my thoughts, experiences and reflections of these last few days.

Arriving on Saturday mid-afternoon after a four and a half hour train journey I was met at Chafford Hundred Station by Alex who promptly whisked me back to the Vicarage for tea with the vicar (Kat his wife was there also). We spent a good couple of hours chatting about how I was finding Moorlands, more detailed aspects of what the church was like and what to expect this weekend. I make it sound very formal, it was so relaxed. I suppose my writing style doesn’t particularly lend itself to informal writing…
I loved hearing their recollections of their Moorlands studies, trying to work out what has changed and what is still the same will be a fun little game for the three of us when I come on placement I think! In-fact we’ve decided I should mine some quotes from their dissertations and then while I’m here challenge them on whether or not their theology has changed on certain issues. Should be interesting!

In the evening we came down to the Church and Alex showed me round the building. It is shared by both the church and the Beacon Centre (a children’s centre who share office and building space), I will be staying in a room next to their offices for the time I’m here. Comfortable, warm, homely and quiet at night (unless certain people are also staying for a night or two, in which case conversation, debate and discussion is far more prevalent than sleep!!). Pennie and Liz arrived for the Goth Eucharist and we had a coffee and a chat, other people then filtered in; Jodi, Kat and a few others joined us and we had a great reflective service on hidden and visible scars. What is beautiful? It was a very encouraging, uplifting time of worship and reflection.

Pizza and coffee followed with some quality banter then while others filtered away myself and Liz stayed up till the early hours (about 0345) discussing feminist theology, tattoos, piercings, disability, sexuality and other random topics.

At 0900 Sunday morning we were on our way with Alex to Saint Mary’s Church (unsure where it is exactly…) where he was taking a service. Apparently it was cold, I wasn’t convinced.

Rushing on back to All Saints Church there were two baptisms, Linda and Jodi. Both lovely girls (Linda being early forties I think but Jodi having just turned eighteen I think I can refer to both of them as girls, anyway it’s semantics so let us not get too bogged down in them!) Having had a great service (even though I was blindsided by Alex and dragged up to the front, wonderful…) I proceeded to meet many of the church members. I have to say they’re frakking lovely! I’ve already had at least two invitations to dinner at peoples’ houses and everyone keeps telling me they’re looking forward to me coming to work here. I generally respond by telling them they won’t be saying that at the beginning of March…

After the service a group of us went down to the pub to celebrate the baptisms, it was epic craic. There was fluctuating attendance but the core group were myself, Liz, Jodi and Joanne (I do hope I’ve spelled that correctly, if Jodi reads this she can correct me or congratulate me). We had some great chats, I was called handsome (yeah, I know. What?!), discussed evolution, epistemology (thought I certainly didn’t refer to it as that, just knowledge) and I managed to peddle my conspiracy theorist agenda to Jodi. Let us hope that I can convince her of the corporate control of British government while I’m here!

Reflection
I have had a fantastic weekend, having met many new people I have begun to reflect on the importance of acceptance and community. I am especially looking forward to building relationships here with people who are exploring their knowledge and understanding of faith, Christianity and church. I think that this will be one of the most productive and enjoyable aspects of the placement, relationship and personal encouragement.

I love you all and I look forward to spending a much longer period of time with you. See you all on the other side!

The Rambler x

New Site, Regular Updates and New and Improved Content!!

2011-09-23T18:00:00.000+01:00

Welcome to my brand new blog! Well, technically it is the same blog but I have shifted it to a new host in order to improve content and to give greater access to new ideas for posts.
On that note, I have plans to post regular reviews of albums and gigs. The first of these should be up towards the end of this weekend with a series of album reviews leading up to this years NordicFest which I shall review with unrelenting honesty and fervour, just remember that a review is semi-objective and semi-subjective.
I will repost all my previous content onto this site but under new headers so that you can control the content you want to see and choose to read various categories and blog post themes. So, if you were subscribed to my previous blog you can feel free to unsubscribe from that as there will be no new posts and please subscribe to this one! If you weren't previously subscribed then please subscribe if you are interested in what I have to say.

Well, I'm now off to re-upload my content... Don't forget to subscribe!

The_Rambler

Reflections, Reviews and Rambles

Irresistible Grace and the Nature of Faith

Metal Bear Reviews: Theocracy - As The World Bleeds

An Essay To Write...

What A Curious Term...

Orientation Week: Day 2 - The Socially Awkward Male

The Rambler's Orientation Week Protocol

Imaginaaatiiioonnnnn!

Nordicfest 2011 Introduction

Living SacrificeBecoming The ArchetypeWhitecrossWar of AgesHBCrimson MoonlightLeviticusLengselGolden ResurrectionReinxeedIn The Midst Of LionsA Hill To Die UponEnshroudingDyst

My thoughts on confirmed bands:

HB

In The Midst Of Lions

Becoming The Archetype

I've been waiting to see this band live since I first heard Terminate Damnation and have missed every gig they've done in the UK. Seriously looking forward to seeing these guys and won't be surprised if they're headlining or on just before the headliner.

Whitecross

Well these guys are classic metal so I need say nothing more, should be a great show with some great musicians.

War of Ages

These guys seem to have consistently put out some great metal and I have heard from reputable sources that their live performances are quality affairs. It'll be good to see them, even though I'm not an avid fan I do like them and as I say, they are unlikely to put on a bad show.

Living Sacrifice

Crimson Moonlight

Leviticus

It'll be really nice to see these guys, a bit of classic rock in the middle of Nordicfest will make me smile and Leviticus are a good band to do it! I will probably be stood near the back with a huge smile on my face wishing my dad was there to enjoy it with me.

Lengsel

Golden Resurrection

ReinXeed

More Power Metal! I had discovered ReinXeed a few weeks before they were announced and again I loved what I heard. This will be another quality show. I can't be getting enough of the power metal at the moment...

A Hill To Die Upon

I haven't even seen this band live and I have a t-shirt of a tour they headlined in the US... A great black/death metal band who again I have wanted to see since Infinite Titanic Immortal came out.

Enshrouding

Great band, brutal wall of noise, will be a great show. If you don't know who they are then listen to them NOW. 'Nuff said.

Dyst

For now I leave you with love,

The RamblerFollow @BenMartinBass

Beginning of the End

The Witness of Ink...

When Things Change That Really Shouldn't (originally posted on 04/09/11)

Bass Sausage Sadness

Five and a Half Thousand Miles From Home (Part 1) (originally posted on 27/08/11)

No Surprises... Creep! (Originally posted on 18/06/11)

Why I Listen to Noise (originally posted on 15/02/11)

The Problem of Individualism (Originally Posted on 09/02/11)

A Brief Introduction To... (Originally Posted on 01/02/11)

A Glorious Weekend (Originally posted on Jan 31st 2011)

New Site, Regular Updates and New and Improved Content!!

Living Sacrifice
Becoming The Archetype
Whitecross
War of Ages
HB
Crimson Moonlight
Leviticus
Lengsel
Golden Resurrection
Reinxeed
In The Midst Of Lions
A Hill To Die Upon
Enshrouding
Dyst

The Rambler
Follow @BenMartinBass