Mind In The Body

Clothing and Common Sense

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 05:22:00 +0000

Right or wrong, the way you dress is seen as a reflection of who you are and what you’re trying to prove. Imagine you’re interviewing candidates for a position opening up in your workplace. Your first interviewee arrives dressed in jeans and wrinkled oxford shirt. Your immediate thought is “Where’s his suit? I’ve never interviewed anyone dressed so casually.” Now, you might like this casualness about him or you might think he’s a real ding dong for not making more of an effort. The point is, you’ve already made a huge assumption about his personality based on his outfit.

Candidate number two enters dressed in a suit two sizes too large, which makes him look like a childlike and sloppy. Again, your mind jumps to conclusions as you think, “This guy doesn’t even know to buy a suit that fits!” You might pity him and give him a break or you might think that he couldn’t possibly handle the details of your office if he can’t dress himself decently. But again, his clothes have sent a message all their own.

Your third candidate shows up dressed in what appears to be a custom-made suit, leading you to believe that this man is either already very successful or that he knows what it takes to ascend the corporate ladder. You think, “He has a real eye for detail,” which makes you believe he could be an asset to the company.

Of course, an employee cannot survive simply by wearing his clothing well. Each of these men will also display certain body language characteristics. Some of these gestures may suggest extreme confidence; other may betray serious self-doubts. You’ll view these gestures through the lens of your own judgment – and that judgment begins the moment you lay eyes on the men.

The followings are some tips to prepare the interviewees for their next interview. (9GAG.COM)

Lying Smiles and other signs of deception

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Fri, 30 May 2014 15:10:00 +0000

adopted from 'Emotionomics' by Dan Hill

The presence of a social smile may simply reveal a degree of enjoyment that falls short of spirited, joyful happiness. Consumers or employees who are pleased with what they’ve received may nevertheless not experience an exalted happiness. That’s because, while their expectations were met, they were not exceeded. How they then respond to being satisfied, but not thrilled, could involve the exhibiting of a social smile. But if there’s pressure to be happy about the raise a boss has just given you, for example, the employee may gamely put a happy face on the situation. Or a prospect put off by a salesperson’s overly aggressive style may exhibit a social smile to hide the fact that the deal is headed south.

In those cases, a degree of deception is involved. And later on, the manager or salesperson may wish he or she had been able to tell from the other party’s facial expressions that the end was near. But alas, there is no one muscle movement that categorically reveals deception.

What better example for deceit than the classic clown face?

Painted to look like it’s always full of smiles, one glance beneath the makeup can dispel the myth of continuous merriment.

Facial coding does much the same thing by gleaning true, unfiltered, positive or negative emotional reactions.

Bear in mind that while Adolf Hitler practised his speeches in front of a mirror to test his accompanying expressions, most of us aren’t that deliberate. All of us can adequately guard against ‘two-faced’ people whose smiles aren’t the real thing by being alert to a few, basic situations
or patterns.

In particular, be alert to a polite, masking smile in situations where:

It doesn’t involve the whole face. The cheeks will lie flat and still and the eyes don’t narrow as they do during a genuine smile.

It lingers too long. A true smile tends to fade around the four-second mark. A false smile may run from five to ten seconds.

It has odd timing. A deceitful smile tends to start or end too abruptly or arrive too early or late. A smile may also be deceitful if what the person is saying and the expression are out of sync.

It’s asymmetrical and much more pronounced on just one side of the face. That happens because the smile is likely to have been consciously delivered.

Finally, watch out for smiles given when the person’s face hints of other, darker emotions at or near the same time. In a case of mixed signals like happiness and anger, be careful not to discount the anger on display.

That last description of a deceitful smile involves what Ekman (1992) calls ‘leakage’. Basically, it amounts to unintended, fleeting glimpses of what the person is really feeling. On a related note, a micro-expression may happen because of ‘squelches’. These occur when a person interrupts his or her natural expression, usually to cover up a negative feeling with a smile. The squelch is something skilled politicians the world over attempt to master.

Learn to Look for Body Language

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Mon, 17 Mar 2014 17:53:00 +0000

The scenario goes like this;

A mid polite applause, the speaker shuffled toward the platform, his face registering the look of someone being led to the guillotine. Upon arrival, he set down a pile of notes and sighed audibly. After tugging at his necktie, adjusting his eyeglasses and clearing his throat, he fixed a doleful gaze on the room’s back wall.

“It’s a great pleasure to be here today,” he said. “I have a message of extreme importance for you.”

Many people in the audience were already fidgeting. It was obvious that others were focused elsewhere. Ten seconds after it began, the speech was already over. Why?

To begin with, the speaker set himself up for failure by sending his listeners a double-edged message. What they saw contradicted what they heard, and when this happens, the audience inevitably trusts only what it sees!

Even though the speaker’s words expressed pleasure in addressing the audience, his nonverbal message said, “I don’t want to be here.” Those same words declared that his speech was important to his listeners – but his body indicated that his message wasn’t important to him. Simultaneously, his facial expression gave the appearance that he cared very little about his audience.

None of these visual messages was performed consciously; they were generated by simple nervousness and inexperience. Yet they branded this unfortunate speaker as insincere and indifferent – even though he was none of those things.

Sometimes we learn best by watching others and picking up our cues from them. If you are unsure about what types of gestures, expressions, and other body movements you would like to incorporate into your own speaking style, observing the techniques of others might be a good first step. For instance:

Become a people watcher. The next time you are at a shopping mall, amusement park or other well-populated area, take some time to observe others. Not only is human behavior fascinating, but watching how others act and react can be invaluable for a speaker studying visual behaviors.

Watch television. Here’s the catch: the sound must be turned down! Vintage shows such as “I Love Lucy” are especially instructive when watching body signals. But even the most straightforward news broadcaster communicates nonverbally; contrast the subtleties of this type of communication with the more exaggerated style displayed in broad physical comedy.

Study photographs. Ever wonder why the saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words,” continues to be popular? Once you’ve studied old family photographs, the reason will be self-evident. Although social conventions of the time may have something to do with the way the people were posed, a great deal can be inferred from the proximity of the subjects, how – or if – they are physically connected, and the nature of their facial expressions.

Exploring Emoticons

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Thu, 09 Jan 2014 05:59:00 +0000

Emoticons are important tools when you are trying to convey your feelings to another person electronically. Without vocal inflections, facial expression, and bodily movement, your emotions are difficult to interpret. Emoticons can be helpful in avoiding misunderstanding. No absolute, standard definitions exist for individual emoticons, but many people have common understandings for a variety of these symbols. Generally, emoticons are made to resemble a face. Four examples are provided here. You can easily find additional examples online by using a search engine and the key word emoticons.

:-) Happiness or humor
:-I Indifference
:-Q Confusion
:-O Surprise

Eye Spy

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 02:42:00 +0000

As you just read, excessive blinking is often a sign of lying; disrupted eye contact is another. When a child can’t look you in the eye while he’s telling you his version of the truth. It’s because he’s afraid of being caught or ashamed of what he’s done, or both. When he stares into your eyes (and makes his own eyes as large as possible), it’s an attempt to say, “I’m looking right at you so you can see I have nothing to hide.”

Another classic sign of anxiety is a flushed face. Some kids turn red faster and more easily than others, so if your child is prone to blushing when someone looks at him the wrong way, then just your accusation could be enough to make his cheeks and neck burn bright red. However, if he’s red in the face as he’s telling you he’s off to play next door, you might want to check on him in about five minutes. There’s good chance he’s really headed down to creek where he’s been forbidden to play.

Fact

Most kids don’t perfect the art of lying until they’re around middle-school age, and even then, unless they’re completely devoid of emotion, they’re likely to give away one or two nonverbal cues when they’re trying to pull the wool over their parents’ eyes.

De-coding Dress Codes 101

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Sun, 01 Dec 2013 01:49:00 +0000

Want to Know If Someone Likes You?

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Tue, 03 Sep 2013 14:42:00 +0000

Published on May 21, 2011 by Norman Li, M.B.A., Ph.D. in The Bottom Line

Ever wondered if someone you're attracted to likes you or not, whether someone is your friend or foe, or whether your employees respect you? There's an easy way to find out... try to make them laugh. If the laughter comes easy, the answer is likely yes. If it doesn't, the answer is likely no.

In my bachelor days, I spent many years slowly learning about the ins and outs of the mating market. Somewhere along the way, I noticed one fairly consistent dynamic: whenever a woman I recently met and was talking to would say to me, "You're really funny!", she would always be up for going out with me. In contrast, if I asked someone out who had not laughed at my ever-so-witty remarks, I would often hear about a mysterious boyfriend or busy schedule.

In my first corporate job, I was working on a project team for a few months where I didn't really like my two supervisors all that much. Although I never explicitly told them that, I may have nonetheless communicated my disdain: I didn't laugh at their jokes. To me, they were mostly lame, sometimes offensive. However, the other guys on the project team would always laugh as if the supervisors were highly skilled entertainers. The implications became clear on the day that we all received our performance reviews. While those other guys were smiling at their glowing reviews, I was left wondering whether my subpar appraisal might've been better had I laughed at any of those jokes.

Many years later in grad school (my advisor was Prof. Douglas Kenrick -- now, there's a truly funny guy), I transformed these and many related observations into a psychological theory on humor. I proposed that humor may have evolved as a way to indicate interest toward potential and existing relationships with romantic partners, friends, allies, family members, etc. That is, people initiate humor and gauge the reaction in order to test the social waters. And, just as you're more likely to dab your foot into the pool if you're actually contemplating a swim, you are more likely to be interested in some kind of relationship with a person if you initiate any kind of humor towards them. If the other person is also interested, they should be more likely to perceive you as humorous and respond favorably (laugh), even if you're objectively not all that funny. However, if they're really not interested, then they probably won't find humor in what you say, even if it's your best material.

When we meet new people, it may take a while to figure out whether a relationship (of any kind) is desirable. By initiating humor and responding to it, we can indicate the direction of our interest a little at a time. Similarly, for ongoing relationships, people may have a need to monitor how the relationships are going. Humorous exchange among existing partners or friends allows people to indicate whether they are satisfied or aligned with each other. For example, while working on this theory back in 2002, I noticed one day that my romantic partner was no longer laughing at some of the silly little things that I said or did that used to make her laugh. I told her all about the theory but she insisted that her lack of laughter had nothing to do with dissatisfaction -- she was just worried about other things. Well, a few months later, the relationship crumbled: we separated and never got back together. It turns out that the time when she started not laughing at my jokes was exactly when she started confiding in others.

Humor may serve many functions, but the "interest indicator" theory says that an important one is to indicate relationship interest, whether among potential or ongoing mates, friends, and allies, or among family members. In this way, a humorous exchange feels good because it indicates that the people who we like also like us. On the flipside, a failed humor attempt can sting not necessarily because our joke is being rejected but because we are being rejected.

My colleagues and I ran three studies to test this theory in the mating domain (Li, Griskevicius, Durante, Jonason, Pasisz, & Aumer, 2009). Take a look for more details or listen here. In the meantime, take notice of who makes you laugh and who you are able to make laugh. Just as importantly, beware of those who aren't laughing.

Acing The Interview: How To Score That New Job

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Sat, 17 Aug 2013 16:51:00 +0000

Body Language by Telenor Mobile

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Thu, 25 Jul 2013 06:25:00 +0000

How to communicate with babies and toddlers

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Mon, 22 Jul 2013 14:44:00 +0000

(By pbsparents.org)

Babies don’t always understand words. But you can still communicate with your baby using tone of voice, touch and body language.

Touch, cuddle and sing softly to your baby. These are first forms of communication. When babies cry, you can reassure them with your presence and a comforting, soothing tone. Babies respond to the emotions you’re communicating through what they see, hear and feel. They react to your sadness, tension, happiness or satisfaction.

Be aware that tone and body language make a difference. When babies hear ‘Stop!’ they’ll sometimes cry. This is because they’re reacting to the sharpness and volume of your command. In the same way, a soft, loving ‘good night’ when you’re tucking your baby into bed will comfort your child because of the soothing tone.

Stay physically connected. This is another way to communicate. Babies like being close to their parents. Holding them next to your body communicates reassurance and comfort. A carrier or sling also allows you to move around and carry on with your life.

Don’t be surprised if your baby cries when you’re on the phone. A baby knows when you’re not paying attention. Baby also knows how to get that attention back. Wailing can come at inconvenient times, but being aware of what’s causing your baby’s reactions might help you stay patient and deal with your baby in the moment.

Turn baby talk into a two-way conversation. Invite responses from your baby. Singing and chanting nursery rhymes are good ways to play with sound. They invite your baby to make a pleasing stream of sounds that eventually lead to talking.

Extend sounds and words to help children develop language skills. If your toddler says ‘Go home’, you might extend this thought by saying, ‘You want to go home. We can leave in a few minutes’.

Even if you’re not sure how much your child understands, talk anyway! Just like holding and kissing, words are an important way of staying in contact with your baby. They’ll help your baby begin to attach feelings and thoughts to sounds.

Play a sound game

Babies learn to communicate not only through the words you say, but by what you do, how you hold and touch them and respond to their needs. If you hear your baby make a sound like ‘Oh’ you might echo and extend it with an ‘Oh, ah, oh’. Soon you will be having a back-and-forth game of sound.
– Gillian McNamee, PhD, Director of Teacher Education, Erikson Institute

Three Ways to Listen. Remember the Three Monkeys?

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Sun, 07 Jul 2013 08:48:00 +0000

You remember the three monkeys: see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Well, we propose an alternative: see to reveal, hear to reveal and speak to reveal.

See To Reveal or Listen With Your Eyes

When you see the person who is speaking, the attendant facial expressions often clarify what you hear. On the other hand, you’ve probably noticed when you are conversing over the phone, that it’s easy to unintentionally talk over the person on the other end. When the speaker is kidding, you can’t see the twinkling eyes that cue you that the statement is meant as a joke. Likewise, when the speaker is trying to choke back tears, you miss the strong feeling behind the message.

When you have the opportunity to converse face-to-face, pay attention to the facial expressions, as well as other signals that can be sent by the stance or gesture and posture. If you think listening means only hearing words, you ignore the rich part of the message that comes to you non-verbally. See what you hear. See what is revealed.

Hear to Reveal or Listen With Your Ears

This sounds obvious, but it’s actually problematic. Often we hear but don’t listen. Perhaps background noise inhibits our ability to hear. Sometimes we hear but we let our minds wander, so we may hear without listening. Sometimes, we psychologically block out messages that we find uncomfortable. We are particularly guilty of hearing words but not the feelings behind the words. We miss the vocal tones and feelings the words express. See how much is revealed when you hear both words and feelings.

Speak to Reveal or Listen With Your Mouth

Listen with your mouth? Doesn’t that sound like an oxymoron? Weren’t you told to “shut your mouth and listen?” Psychologists Dr. Carl Rogers and Dr. Thomas Gordon developed the concept of “active listening.” That means that after we listen, we respond with words from our mouth that assure the speaker that we understood. It usually encourages the speaker to say more.

Sometimes the words are simple, like “I see,” “Oh,” or “That’s interesting.” Using our mouths can further the “art of listening” by asking a clarifying question: “Are you saying that…?” or “I think you’re saying . . ., is that right?” It is most powerful when we use our mouths to let the speaker know we’ve heard the feelings behind the words (sometimes only communicated non-verbally), as in “That’s scary, isn’t it?” or “I sense that your uncomfortable about this assignment.” Speak to the speaker and reveal what you have heard.

That’s it for today. Try these ideas and give us YOUR thoughts.

Carolyn Shadle, PhD, and John Meyer, PhD

What You Wish You'd Know Before Your Job Interview

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Wed, 03 Jul 2013 13:50:00 +0000

Nose Rubbing

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Thu, 27 Jun 2013 07:55:00 +0000

You’re on vacation and you’ve just checked into your hotel, only to find that your “super-luxury” accommodations are nothing more than a shoebox filled with plastic furniture. You traipse to the lobby and demand the room the room that you booked- the one you saw on the hotel’s website. While the desk clerk tells you the hotel is sold out and there isn’t a thing she can do for you, she rubs the front of her nose a good up-and-down rub. What’s going on here? Does working for such a shady operation make her nose itch?

That nose rub is a self-touch, a means of claiming the nerves of a person who isn’t being entirely truthful. In this example, there’s a good chance that employee is discouraged from handling out room upgrades… but that doesn’t mean that she can’t do it.

Does the nose rub have any other purpose? Well, sure. As you already read, rubbing the nose can be a response to an actual itch or sense of discomfort. But it can also be a sign that someone’s not being honest with you.

If your date keeps rubbing his nose, what does that mean to you? First, make sure he isn’t allergic to something in the area. If he insists he’s feeling fine, then the excessive touching or rubbing of the nose might indicate he’s feeling uncomfortable. Now, this could be a good thing or a bad thing for you, depending on what’s making him feel uneasy. If he worried because he likes you a lot and he’s sure he’s making a fool of himself, then that’s not so bad. But if he’s squirming in his seat because he can’t wait for the date to end, that’s obviously another story. How can you tell the difference? By reading the rest of his non verbal cues, of course. Is he angling himself toward you and away from you? How his eye contact? Have the two of you touched at all during the course of the evening?

Obscene Gestures From Around The World

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Sun, 19 May 2013 09:39:00 +0000

Rude hand gestures from all around the world! Be sure to avoid these while abroad.

Leapin's leg

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:24:00 +0000

Every spring you see those commercials where people are surprised by a team of folks bearing a million-dollar prize. The winners’ behavior is the most entertaining thing about these ads- people jump, twirl, faint… it’s enough to make you want to practice your own reaction to incredible news just in case someone shows up on your doorstep with an oversized check.

Speaking of leaping limbs, you can see body language in action in traditional ballet. When the story line is happy and light hearted, the dancers prance all over the stage; when the action takes a turn toward tragedy, you’ll see more grounded, down-to-earth moves. You don’t need to know the story behind the dance; you’ll know instinctually what’s happening just by watching the movements of the men and women on stage.

Laughing

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 14:19:00 +0000

What place does laughter have in body language? People either find something amusing and they laugh at it, or they don’t. How can you read into that, other than to say that some people have a more developed (or more immature) sense of humor than others?

A person with a great laugh is generally perceived to be a friendly sort. He’s often the hit of any gathering, simply because people love to hear his chuckle – it makes them feel good because it makes them laugh, too. Now, there’s the crux of laughter – the way it spreads. And it doesn’t spread the way a fad does – people don’t simply copy one another’s laugh attacks, they actually experience real amusement at watching someone else guffaw. Everyone’s experienced this sort of thing, and usually at the absolute worst time.

Perhaps in your fourth-grade classroom, your teacher sat down in her chair and it made a most unflattering squeaking sound. You did your best to ignore it, but then you saw your best friend trying to stifle his own laughter. Pretty soon, the two of you were watching each other trying not to laugh and finding it more difficult to keep a straight face. At this point, the laughter was as much about the laughter itself as it was about the teacher’s indignity. (If only you’d been able to articulate this to the principle).

A person doesn’t laugh often is thought of as being uptight, even if she merely happens to have a very reserved sense of humor. Just as boisterous laughter makes a person appear sociable, a complete absence of laughter can make people think you’re a humorless hermit type. If you don’t laugh much, at least learn to smile at the appropriate times – and make sure that smile appears genuine!

The moral of the story: When people want to know what’s on your mind, they’ll look to your mouth, so give your public what they’re looking for. It’s hard to mistake authentic movements of the mouth, so don’t be surprised if people are suddenly reading your communications a lot more clearly. It’s not that you’ve become a great orator – you’ve just learned to put your message where your mouth is.

All Chewed up

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 15:36:00 +0000

Does your office mate chomp on his pencils from 9 to 5? Some experts might say that he become “ stuck” in this oral phrase of life, that he never found a more mature way to soothe himself and that he continues to chew on his shirt collar, toothpicks, and chunks of paper because he needs this kind of soothing to get through his day.

Now, if you happen to be very close to someone who chews on everything in sight, you might try explaining this concept to him and suggest other ways for him to deal with stress. The problem is that an adult chewer is very set in his ways and he can't really avoid the very thing that he relies on. His mouth is always right there, after all. If you can get a pencil chewer to switch to gum, that's an acceptable compromise.

So no one really chews on his own gums, but lots of people chew on their own lips, tongue, and the insides of their cheeks. If you're not one of these people, you might be wondering why anyone would do such a things – doesn't it hurt? Probably not. Chewing on the mouth is usually a way to relieve stress or boredom. Most people don't bite themselves hard enough to cause any harm, though in times of extreme upset, a person might accidentally bite down harder than he intended and draw blood.

Handy Ways to Get in Trouble

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 14:49:00 +0000

Because the hands are so highly visible and because they do so much “talking” they get a lot of attention. They might help you make some foreign friends, or they might toss you into international hot water. Consider the potential for trouble in these situations:

You’re meeting with a Japanese client. You hand him your business card. He looks taken aback. Why?

You walk into an English pub and order two pints. The barkeep boots you out into the street. What have you done?

You’re vacationing in Greece, watching the women on the beach. You give one particularly beautiful lady the thumps-up sign. She grasps, grabs her boyfriend, and two of them begin marching in your direction. Do they want to make your acquaintance, or should you start running?

In Brazil, your pedicurist wants to know if she’s done a pleasing job on your toes. You’re on your phone, so you give her the symbol to indicate, “Okay.” She bursts into tears. Was she hoping for a thumbs-up sign?

You’ve just offended four lovely people without realizing it. Your errors were:

With the Japanese businessman, perhaps you flippantly tossed the card his way. The Japanese usually pass business cards with both hands. When they accept them, it’s also with both hands, and they treat them as though they’re a gift.

In the pub, you made the mistake of ordering by holding up two fingers with your palm facing towards you. This is an insult, akin to flashing your middle finger, so it’s no wonder you were bounced out into the night.

Your intended friendly gesture on the beach carried just the opposite message; thumbs-up means “Up yours!” in Greece (and in Western Africa, South America, Iran, Russia, and Sardinia).

In Brazil (and Greece, Turkey, Italy, and Russia), the sign Americans use to mean “Okay” is actually a grave insult. Better start gushing about how your toes have never looked better, or this girl might never return to the salon.

Are all of your favourite hand signals off limits overseas? Of course not! You can walk around London and Paris all day long flashing people the thumbs-up sign. They may find you highly irritating, but no one’s likely to take great offense at your gesture.

Make a Lasting Impression

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Sun, 09 Dec 2012 14:19:00 +0000

People tend to worry about eye contact most in situations where they’re concerned about making a good impression on someone else, like first dates and job interviews. Even someone who has a natural aptitude for using an appropriate amount of eye contact can overthink these situations and end up sending a false message by staring or avoiding the other person’s gaze altogether.

Eye contact is tricky in the early stages of dating because even though you may be incredibly interested in everything your date is saying, you don’t want to come across as being over-the-edge-of-sanity interested (having a tendency toward developing obsessions, in other words). Use normal eye contact in the beginning stages (hold the gaze for a few seconds, look away, repeat), until your date ‘s body language (he’s moving closer and closer to you, he reaches to take your hand, he’s smilling nonstop) indicates that he’s really into you.

And how about that eye contact in a job interview? The same rules apply. Steady, consistent eye contact combined with well-timed breaks can work wonders for your overall image, especially since so many other interviewees don’t know what to do with their their eyeballs in this situation. The general recommendation is that you hold eye contact for no longer than five seconds before glancing away.

Fact:
Communicating at eye level establishes an equal relationship. Standing above someone while you’re literally talking down at him puts you in a position of being superior; looking up while someone browbeats you put in an inferior position.

Does Your Body Speak The Local Lingo?

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 13:24:00 +0000

Depending on where you live, the meaning behind the “V” hand sign – raising your index and middle fingers while closing the remaining three – rests on the direction your palm faces. In the United States and Canada, the “two-fingered salute” with the palm facing outward means peace. It also indicates the quantity of two.

With the palm facing toward you, this gesture signifies contempt or disrespect in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, South Africa, South Africa and other countries. Ordering two beverages this way at a noisy pub in England could get you in trouble with the bartender faster than you can say, “Cheerio!’

Handshakes

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 11:38:00 +0000

A handshake says so much about us: a handshake can have a lasting effect on the impression we make on others and the degree to which they find us attractive.

When you greet someone do you shake hands with confidence or doubt? There’s no need to squeeze the life out of another person’s hand in order to impress them with your status. Similarly, shaking hands so limply that it feels as if your arm is dead is not going to give anyone the idea that you’re anything but wet. Look at your hands and nails for a minute.

What do they say about you?

How big are they?

What shape are they?

How rough or soft is the skin of your palms?

What temperature are they?

Are they damp, and are you aware of how this changes depending on your state of emotional arousal?

Are your nails clean and cut into a clear shape or are they dirty?

Do you bite them?

Numerous experiments have been carried out by psychologists into the effects of various styles of handshake. By far the most favourable first impression made by both men and women was when the handshake lasted five seconds and was firm without being uncomfortable. Furthermore, a dry palm makes a better impression as a sweaty palm may signify nervousness. This combined with assured eye contact, a slight smile towards the middle of the handshake moving to a wider smile at the last stage of the handshake and a small tilt of the head to one side, forms the ultimate positive impression.

Research shows that people of high status tend to shake hands with their palm facing downwards. People with less concerned with power tend to offer a hand in which the thumb is on top and may have less need of domination.

Shaking hands with a stranger is surprisingly intimate. Actually feeling the other person, we make instant judgments about their character and status. Unconsciously we reveal our desire to dominate by placing our thumb on top. The two-handshake can be used to communicate genuine warmth and affection but it is more often perceived as being creepy and typical of politicians concerned to ‘appear’ sincere.

Political Profiling

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 18:04:00 +0000

from ‘Lip Service’ by Marianne LaFrance

It is said that a politician’s personality opens or closes doors but actually how a candidate’s personality is perceived holds more sway. There is, in fact, a startling consensus among voters across several countries as to what traits they want to see in their political leaders. The desired traits are extroversion and trustworthiness.

Across the ideological spectrum, these two traits trump all other, ostensibly relevant characteristics. When people think about family, friends, co-workers and celebrities, extroversion and trustworthiness are not the first traits that come to mind., but they are at the top of voters’ lists for what they want in a political leader.

How do constituents detect a candidate’s level of extroversion and trustworthiness? Despite claims by some that they can look a person in the eye and know whether that person can be trusted, the eyes themselves are not a measure of character. The muscles around the eyes are where the cues lie.

We glean impressions of people from what the social psychologist Nalini Ambady calls “thin slices,”, glimpses of their faces and brief sounds of their voices. Indeed, psychologists have a wealth of data showing that impressions about what a person is like are made extraordinarily quickly and from amazingly little information. Often enough, these impressions are dead on. In one study, research subjects were shown pictures of unfamiliar candidates for less than second and asked to hazard a guess about whether they would win the election in which they were running. Not everyone was up to the task, but a significant number were able to do so with striking accuracy.

These findings deserve a second look because of what they tell us about what the research participants were actually able to do. Subjects were not asked whom they personally would vote for after having a fleeting glance at the photograph. Rather, they were asked to consider what a majority of voters would do. The essence of their accuracy was in knowing other people’s preferences in political candidates. Faces matter hugely in our assessment of people, and many of us are on the same page about what those assessments are.

Do faces also tell us something about voters? Amazingly, yes. Citizens who lean in a liberal direction smile more on average than citizens who bend in a conservation direction. Does this mean that liberals are happier than conservatives? No, actually conservatives are happier. According to a recent survey by the Pew Research Center, 47 percent conservative Republicans in the United States described themselves as “very happy” as compared with only 28 percent of liberal Democrats.

So, why do liberals smile more than conservatives, if it is not because they’re feeling jollier than conservatives? You will recall that while spontaneous smiles reflect positive emotion, people also smile voluntarily, and those smiles reflect not inner emotion but other intentions. In short, liberals’ smiles signal a more cooperative, non-aggressive orientation. This sounds like a little like the poet Robert Frost’s definition of a liberal as a man too broad-minded to take his own side in a quarrel.

New findings also indicate that liberals are perceived differently from conservatives by those who do not know their political slant. If a person comes as warm, it is more likely that he or she is a Democrat. If a person comes across as powerful, the data show that he or she is more likely to be a Republican.

‘Lip Service’ by Marianne LaFrance

Blocking

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 12:15:00 +0000

Blocking is a strong signal, used by couples who don’t want to be interrupted, as a mean of warding off potential rivals and as a means of making it clear that they are not interested.

The aim of blocking is to use your body to establish boundaries around the two of you to create a private and safe haven, but not so close as to make the other uncomfortable. Established lovers do this obviously with their arms interlocking or with an intense mutual gaze from which the rest of the world feels excluded, and within which the lovers are oblivious, entranced by each other’s eyes.

Blocking is also a useful skill for sending ‘I m not interested’ messages without having the embarrassment of needing to spell it out in words. By building a wall with non-verbal blocks around us we can protect ourselves, comfort ourselves and warn others off; our arms, legs, shoulders and body position can all be employed as a means of saying ‘no thanks’.

'No, I'm not keen'

Baby and Toddler Body Language: All About Sleep

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Sat, 10 Nov 2012 11:57:00 +0000

For a parent, it is important to be able to read the moods of your child, despite the fact he may not be able to express them verbally. By watching and remembering the telltale clues, you should be able to predict his patterns and therefore settle him more easily into a routine. Learning to tell when he is tired is extremely important because a baby denied sleep for too long will become fussy, making all the more difficult to get him to sleep. Drooping eyelids, blinking slowly, and - often - stiff, errantic movements are classic signals of fatiguein babies. When children get slightly older; they may become irritable or overexcited. They usually rub their eyes a lot, and often exhibit clinginess.

It is almost impossible to communicate well with a tired child. Babies are much more recptive to you while alert. Choose a time of day when your child will be bright and active, and talk to him quietly and rhythmically using lots of facial expressions and sounds. He will watch and learn from everything you do and will soon try to respond.

One of the most indicative signs that your baby is tired is when she starts rubbing her eyes. Most babies will scrunch up their eyes and rub their curled fists over their eyelids when sleepy. It is a universal signal that it is time for a nap. When eye rubbing in particular? As babies get tired, the muscle in their eyes become sore, and just too much like when an adult uses a particular muscle too much it will become tender. Rubbing relieves this discomfort. It also encourages the tear ducts to begin producing moisture as tired eyes are often hot and dry.

Whether firstborn or six months old, most children will go through a difficult phase of resisting sleep. This is a grueling time for sleep-deprieved parents as their bundle of joy forces himself to stay awake despite the late hour. Babies resist going to sleep for two main reasons: The first is that now they are in this exciting, sensory-rich world, they do not want to leave it for something as dull as sleep. The second reason is they do not want to be parted from their parents.

Babies in cultures where children ad parents sleep together are rarely upset or resist bedtime. They go to bed calmly and lulled to sleep by the rhythmic sound of a nearby adult's breathing.

Many young children become overattached to objects such as security blanket, a favorite plush toy, or a pacifier. Sometimes the attachment is so strong that the child becomes upset if parted from it, and is then unable to sleep. These objects are acting as a replacement for physical contact with parents. These "security objects" provide the child with a constant and readily available companion who is always ready to receive, and in their own way, give affection. There has been much discussion as to whether these items are good for children or should be avoided. The most important point should be the comfort of the child. If for some reason it is impossible for the parents to give as much physical contact as the baby requires, the apperance of a security object can be a welcome relief.

Tests have shown that children who have not bonded well with their mothers but who have a security blanket deal much better with stressful and anxious situations than those without a security blanket.

How Your Body Language Chooses a President

noreply@blogger.com (Samurai Beng) — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 08:48:00 +0000

by Carol Kinsey Goman

Politicians are keenly aware that they’re judged not only by their verbal message, but also by their nonverbal communication. Regardless of your political affiliation, the presidential debates gave us a great platform for observing what body language and speaking styles can do to create impressions. And I posted my observations after each debate.

But, while I was monitoring the debaters’ body language, researchers at The Center for Body Language (in Belgium) were using webcams to monitor the emotions of voters across the United States as they watched the debates. By analyzing the subtle facial movements (micro expressions) of viewers, they were hoping to find out how people really felt about about the candidates.

Their findings:

The study shows why the election is almost a tie, with a very slight advantage for Obama and Romney on different points.

The large majority of Independent voters turn out to be emotionally indifferent for both of the candidates; however 13% of those voters feel emotionally more connected with Obama and react with a micro expression of disgust on Romney’s sarcastic comments.

52% of Independent voters find Romney’s sarcastic Obama-denigrating humor funny.

Many Democrats show a micro expression of happiness that Obama ended the Iraq war. Republicans too.

19% of Democrats laugh at Romney’s speeches as at a joke.

26% of Republicans show very strong micro expressions of anger and disgust when seeing Obama. Some of them seem literally to hate Obama. The opposite is not the case: very few Obama supporters seem to “hate” Romney.

Surprising fact: 16% of Republicans seem to react with negative emotions when seeing Romney’s picture.

Supporters of both candidates are engaged very seriously when their leaders are talking, while they are more easily distracted when the candidate of the opposition is speaking.

Many Republicans react clearly with micro expressions of pleasure on Romney’s denigrating humor about Obama.

By making his remarks about Romney’s plans in most cases more subtle and sophisticated, Obama elicits less negative emotions with both Democrats and Republicans.

Their Conclusion:

It’s an extremely close race between Obama and Romney. If Obama wins, it will be thanks to the stronger emotional connection he has with his supporters, while Romney leads by playing strongly against his opponent.

And when they replicated this study in 15 countries in Europe, Obama had almost double more positive emotional impact on people outside the USA compared to Romney. If Europeans could vote, Obama would win.