Success-Happiness-Peace-Joy-Unlimited

The Greatest Gift

2011-08-12T11:36:00.000-07:00

What is the greatest gift to the human race? You may be wondering; more so, as there are innumerable gifts in the world. I suppose, you are thinking of materialistic gifts. Though they are all gifts, none can be classified as the greatest, because their importance depends on an individual. If the greatest gift to humans is not materialistic, what then is it? You may be asking. Choice is the greatest gift that God our Creator, has given to you, me and to all humanity. It is the gift or potential that Almighty God—the Creator of everything, gracefully and generously given to all of us, irrespective of race, religion, social class, and philosophical or ideological inclination.

We use this endowment innumerable number of times daily, without realising it. In fact, it is ours for keeping from our birth to our death. Very regrettably, instead of using this potential positively, quite often, we misuse it; consequently, we pay the price—sometimes very dearly.

From our birth, God has given us the power to choose. We have the power to choose in all spheres of our daily life. In the morning, we choose either to get up from bed, or to remain lying down; when we are hungry, we choose either to eat, or to stay with hunger—we choose what to eat, when to eat, and even the quantity to be eaten.

We also have the power to choose our vocation, where to work, and quite often, how to do our job. We choose our profession based on our academic background or our training, and that depends entirely on us. We choose where to work, by applying for an employment in a company of our choice. At work, we also choose how we shoulder our entrusted responsibilities.

Our ability to succeed in life is dependent on this great gift, because we either choose to succeed, or to fail. While everybody dreams or aspire to succeed, most of the time, some people unknowingly choose to fail. They choose to fail by doing one or some of the followings:

¨ Lack of dreams and aspirations.

¨ Look for excuses for not advancing in life.

¨ Directly or indirectly hurt somebody or group of people.

¨ Refuse to realise the importance of being their brothers’ keeper.

¨ Revolt against an authority—societal or celestial authority.

¨ Form the habit of procrastinating.

¨ Ignore the importance of self-discipline.

¨ Are imprudent.

¨ Lack of understanding.

¨ Lack an ability to be communicate effectively.

¨ Refuse to recognise the necessity to be forgiving.

- Ignore the importance of having an intimate relationship with their Creator, who is the creator and giver of success.

With the just-listed, we are inevitably exposed to undesirable incidences. When they occur, we blame everything, and everybody except ourselves. Many people even blame God for all their misfortunes. They fail to realise that God, whose love for us is immeasurable, can not hurt us. Misfortunes occur to us either because of the direct or indirect misuse of our God-given power—The Power to Choose. Cassius understood that both our success and failure depend on us when he said to Brutus in William Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar”, “Men at some time are masters of their fates; the fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings”. In fact, Cassius understated this fact; men are always the masters of their fates. Here, the key word is always.

How I can be the master of my fate or destiny, you may wonder. The answer is very simple—simpler than you can ever imagine. William James, the great American psychologist and philosopher gave the answer when he said, «Sow an action and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny». In other words, your actions give birth to your habits, your habits bring about your character, and your destiny is the offspring of your character. These unarguably spring from the word ‘Choice’

You may be claiming to have a physical handicap, believing that to be your obstacle to success. That is a false belief, because regardless of your handicap, you can still achieve your aspirations. The disadvantage of your claim is that, the more you cling to it, the more you are condemned to fail.

There is absolutely no obstacle to the achievement of success. The only obstacles are the ones that you impose on yourself. I suppose that you have heard of many physically handicapped people who have chosen to attain greatness. If you have not, think of Stevie Wonder and the late Ray Charles, who are blind, yet they are among the world’s most respected and successful musicians. Colin Dexter, in spite of his deafness, is still an outstanding Writer whose books are bestsellers, and some of them have been turned into wonderful films. The list is limitless. By sticking to your negative claims, you are choosing to fail.

On reading this, I know, you will definitely agree with me that, we make a choice every minute of our lives. Even when you are not making one, you are actually making it. Most unfortunately, many people do not understand the importance of this great gift. The sooner its importance is realised, and the gift used positively, the more meaningful our lives will become. As our lives become more meaningful, we become happier and more successful.

At this point, you may be asking how your gift could be exploited positively to your advantage. Regrettably, I do not have a definite answer for you, because it all depends on the particular situation that surrounds you. As situations differ, so are your possibilities for applying your given power or potential. However, what is very certain is that, whatever your decision, and in whichever situation, a decision that directly or indirectly affects anybody negatively, will certainly, sooner or later, bring about the opposite of your desired outcome. The reverse is also very true. Furthermore, with good decisions or choices, you are certain to have peace of mind, and joy.

It is worth underlining here that, there are some conditions or situations that could tremendously affect your ability to make a good choice. Some of such situations are: when you are under fear; under the influence of any intoxicating element such as alcohol, drugs (both soft and hard); when there is any sign of doubt; because of emotion, or sentiment, to mention but a few.

Quite often, certain conditions impede one from taking a good decision. In such a case, what should one do, you may ask? Your question is quite legitimate, for I know that it could make you to be confused, desperate, and not knowing exactly what to do. The only advice that I can give is to pray and ask God for wisdom, and guidance. Pray to Him, and believe that He will answer your prayers, and He will definitely do so, for He is a very loving and merciful, and generous Father. He grants all requests presented to him in faith; more so, when we have an intimate relationship with Him.

Sometimes, people tend to think that prayers have to be done only by kneeling down, or in the church.

This is not true. While there is nothing wrong in doing those, in fact, they are even very important as they illustrate humility and dedication to God; a prayer could be offered by merely talking to him while walking or driving, taking bath, or even while at work. After all, prayer, in its simplest term, means communicating with God.

Additionally, it is worth pointing out that, all our heart’s desires are our prayers. Hence, we can present our request to God anywhere, and at anytime—God is omnipresent and he is always listening to us.

As it is often said, “You can take a Camel to the stream, but you can not force her to drink from it”, that also applies here. For even if this is written as long as an encyclopaedia, I can never force you to take the content of this piece seriously; thereby, applying it in your daily life, so that your life would be more meaningful; consequently, realising your dreams and aspirations. It is very important to remember that, irrespective of what you are thinking now, by refusing to heed to the advice given here, you are actually using your greatest gift—the Power to Choose.

Success-Happiness-Unlimited: The Fundamentals For Success

2011-08-08T03:44:00.000-07:00

Success-Happiness-Unlimited: The Fundamentals For Success

How to Successfully Navigate the Labyrinth of Office Politics to Realise Your Career Aspirations

2011-08-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

To many, politics is synonymous to corruption, egoism, hypocrisy, and all the negative human attributes; thus, they try to abstain from it. The multi-billion Euro question that may be asked is; can we really do without politics? I do not think we can, because we are inherently political animals, therefore we directly, or indirectly participate in it. Quite often, when we seem to be passive, we are actually politicking.

All sectors of human endeavour with more than one person, such as in the public and private sectors, military, local and International NGOs and regrettably, many religious organisations are political entities—even in a family, we play politics. Thus, you cannot live without political influence and participation; more so, at your place of work, where you spend most of your time daily with other people, and whose effect is the determinant to your professional advancement.

Work-place politics is the most ignored, yet a major factor to professional success. Innumerable books have been written, seminars organised, audios, videos, and DVDs produced about many areas of success, yet very few are in the market about this subject; perhaps, it’s because very few people are interested in the field.

In some organisations, power play is obvious, while it is disguised in others, and your ability to thrive in office politics is not only directly related to your understanding of the game, but also how you play it.

What is Office Politics?

Most people define office politics as the means of manipulating situations, people, and using power and people to secure their desired position, gain from the situation, or even increase their power, image, and status within an organisation, to the detriment of others. This definition implies shrewdness, dishonesty, injustice, and all the negative human characteristics. However, this game should not necessarily be seen or played as this definition portrays, but should be seen as a means of persuading people to co-operate with you in order to use the limited available resources to realise a set goal for the corporate interest.

On writing this, I quite understand that we humans are intrinsically self-centred—characteristics that impel many to strive to attain their goals to the detriment of others. This article will show that we can always achieve our goals without necessarily crushing others on our path.

You may be wondering the reason this article has this title. It is because Office politics is as complicated as maze. For you to master it, you don’t only have to be interested in it, but you also have to be committed to mastering it. Furthermore, both the visible and the invisible rules, and the level of the playing grounds differ from one office to another, because no two offices are the same. Each organisation consist of individuals from different backgrounds, with different expectations, goals, motivations, and different approach to the achievement of their dreams, thus, the combination of all these elements create the difference in the dynamics of the game.

Why is Office Politics Necessary?

Humans were created not to live in solitude, but in relationship with one another, and with God—the reason that we are happier when we’re in other’s company, or when we’re in a community. With the limited resources available to us, and our egocentric nature, we feel compelled to consciously or unconsciously look for means of influencing anybody or group of persons that could be an obstacle to the realisation of our goal, or that could enhance the chance of achieving it; hence the application of politics. As this is done in a workplace, it is labelled “Office politics”.

We apply politics whenever we want an action to be taken, and even when we don’t want something done; for example, when we want a member of our family to shoulder a particular responsibility, like moulding the lawn or shopping. One of the examples in a corporate setting is when the management is confronted by an opportunity course—when the budget of a department is to be accepted instead of another one, due to insufficient resources. Another example is that when we want a particular employee to be assigned to our section instead of being sent to another.

The strategy we apply to achieve any of those objectives would be politicking disguised as lobbying, or persuasion. Our ability to succeed in attaining our goal will depend on either the application of our knowledge of office politics, or our rival’s ignorance of the game.

Understanding Office Politics

Our knowledge of office politics involves understanding the environment, the players, and the weapons necessary for the game. The environment is the organisation; the players are your colleagues: your superiors, peers, and your junior colleagues. The weapons here are your communication skill, and your personality.

The vision, goals, and the culture of your organisation are the elements that you shouldn’t take for granted. You don’t only need to know them, but you also have to understand your organisation’s approach, and strategies applied to attaining its goals, and visions. You have to realise that you’re a piece of the organisation’s vision and goals realisation’s puzzle; thus, the necessity of playing your part constructively, if you want to achieve your career’s dream.

Knowing your colleagues begins with your knowledge of human nature and their predicaments. This understanding will enable you to reason, and think from their perspective. It will allow you to perceive your colleagues’ feelings, sentiments, attitude, as well as their emotions. This will enable you to trigger and unlock the strong room of their motivation. Your access to their source of motivation equips you with the knowledge of how to get their support and co-operation to achieve your goals.

Your greatest weapon in office politics is your personality, and communication skill. People are generally attracted to understanding, respectful, compassionate, humble, and people who are always ready to render services to others. These will be buying you respect, appreciation, and at the same time a strong personality, whom people will always strive to be identified with, and this includes accepting your opinions and ideas.

Your attractive personality would be crown with an excellent communication skill—your ability to listen to others, and then think, and present your ideas from their perspective. This will make your rivals not to feel humiliated, which are often the case, but believe that you understand, sympathise, and identify with their plight, and can help them to attain their goal, if they co-operate with you.

Why you should be interested in office politics

Many people believe that knowledge is the yardstick for the attainment of success. This is rarely the case, because there are innumerable very knowledgeable individuals in the world; yet, only very few arrive at the top of their professional ladder. The main reason is that those successful ones have realised that only knowledge, or even being excellent in their profession isn’t enough for professional success. For you to lift up your head above all your colleagues in today’s competitive world (besides being excellent in your field), you surely need to know what others ignore, or be an expert in the area that others are mediocre—knowing your organisation very well, and also having the type of personality as stated in these pages. With excellence as your password, and the application of your knowledge of your organisation to your advantage, the realisation of your career ambition is certain. Without office politics, this isn’t possible.

Furthermore, professional stress is one of the main predicaments facing workers today, irrespective of their field of endeavour. Many employers are laying more and more emphasis on higher productivity, but providing less resource. This puts pressure on almost all the employees of the organisation; consequently, the inexperienced bosses, and the ill-intentioned ones pass this stress to their subordinates. In addition, quite often, some organisations can even provoke stress to increase productivity. This is where your knowledge of office politics can be your ally, because with your knowledge of it, you will know how to handle your boss and your colleagues; thus, you will rarely be stressed; even when you are, you will know how to manage it effectively.

Do you know that accumulated professional stress can cause physical and psychological illnesses such as anxiety, insomnia, severe stress, which could incite hypertension or hypotension, neck, or back pains, stomach upset, and hypochondria? Sometimes, persistent worrying could also bring about sicknesses like gastro-intestinal palpitations, and muscular fatigue. Understanding office politics and knowing how and when to apply its implicit and the explicit rules will surely immunize you against most office stress provoking situations; consequently, you will never suffer from any of the above-indicated sicknesses and their derivatives.

Your knowledge of office politics is rooted to your ability to analyse, and understand people and situations. This involves understanding people’s emotions, behaviours, and their sources of motivation, which are indispensable to having meaningful relationship with people, and getting them to co-operate with you, to bring about the realisation of your dreams and aspirations. This is the wisdom of the ages. Thanks to your expertise in office politics, you can acquire this ability.

Playing office politics without crushing Anybody

It is very important to realise that any achievement that is to the detriment of anybody instead of bring happiness, will give birth to the feeling of insecurity, suspicion, and anxiety; sometimes guilt; consequently unhappiness.

In office politics, the starting point is know and do the right things when entering a new Department or starting a new job. The wisest action is to take a low profile—observing, listening, and studying others’ words, actions, and reactions, for you to understand the power play of the department or establishment.

With the understanding of your environment, the usual action would be the implicit declaration of your alliance. Quite often, most people lean on their immediate boss, Head of department, or identify with what seems to be the most powerful faction, for survival or career advancement. The disadvantages of this option are:

Generally, you have to be a zombie to be in those people good books, so that you could be recommended for promotion whenever there is a possibility.
No matter how careful or clever you may seem to be, you will definitely make enemies faster than you can ever imagine.
As nothing is permanent, should the situation change, you will inevitably face the repercussion of your previous choice.
You would be seen as lacking self-confidence, and personality—even those whose tune you dance to, will rarely trust and respect you.
Most of the time, the people you lean on are very undependable, because to them, egocentricity is the name of the game; therefore, in time of need, they will rarely be there for you, except if they will gain from defending you.
It is the factory of gossiping, and character assassination; thus, it often generates suspicion and tension.

The picture portrayed above is common in organisations where work-place politics is very flagrant, and the management of such organisations are dominated by mediocre. As these types of leaders cannot compete due to their incompetence, lack of self-confidence, and their feeling of insecurity, they resort to seeking alliances as a security measures, and also fragmenting the loyalty of the employees. The victims of this manipulative stratagem are often with the same personality as the plotters. An entity dominated by leaders as described here; rarely employ very competent people for fear of competition.

Consortium of mediocre drives away the competence. Such organisations have a very high rate of personnel turn-over, because besides repelling the proficient individuals, those who choose to abstain from their game are sandwiched; consequently, they leave, seeking for a job with a convivial environment, where they can optimise the exploitation of their potential.

On the other hand, organisations with competent leadership will always seek to employ very proficient employees, and they will always encourage competition both on the parallel and horizontal echelon. Unlike the previous type of organisation, there is a level playground for the flourishing of initiatives, and not only encouragement for creativity, but also rewarding it.

In organisations where politics is obvious, people are divided into the naïve, spectators, players, manipulators, and the experts. The naïve are those who are unaware of what is going on, but only doing their job innocently. The spectators see what is happening, but decide to abstain from it. The players are the colleagues who are not only aware of the game, but are actively participating in one way or the other. Experts know what is at stake, the rules of the game, and are good at applying both the implicit and the explicit rules to get whatever they want. The manipulators are those who believe that they can get whatever they want, by any means, irrespective of who may get hurt on the process.

With this knowledge, the next issue is how to handle different people such as your boss, superiors, peers and junior staff of your organisation. Many bosses see themselves not as a leader, but one that order, and push people around without any respect, and many of them expect their subordinates to worship them like a god; else, they descend their hammer on them. Good bosses see themselves as leaders who are there to plan, supervise, co-ordinate, and motivate their followers, to achieve the corporate goal. Leaders under this group could even sacrifice their personal resources for the interest of their section or department. Followers of a good leader are happy to take any order or instruction, even if that will imply foregoing their pleasure or time. In this case, meeting the set target seems natural.

If you have a good boss, you need less energy and effort for the attainment of your goal, because he or she knows dedicated and efficient employees, and endeavours to award them accordingly. However, should you need a special attention; you could always seek his or her attention privately, to communicate your message. For your message to be received positively, it’s advisable to present it in a way that would seems to be benefiting to the section or department, or even the organisation.

Conversely, should you have a difficult boss; first, try to understand the reason for the difficult behaviour. If he or she generally behaves reasonably, then the difficult behaviour could be due to stress. Nevertheless, if it’s a catalogue of hostile, abusive, and humiliating behaviour irrespective of the amount of stress in the office; then you’ll need more effort and energy to bring about a change. The first approach should be to meet him or her privately, when he or she seems to be less stressful, to express your feeling about his or her action or reaction. Be careful not to attack his or her person; else, he or she will become defensive, and your approach will be counterproductive; try to express your concern for the particular action or reaction. Nevertheless, should your repeated attempts to get your concern addressed are rebuffed, then you may have to seek counsel from the Trade union, a trusted mentor, or human resources professional, to evaluate your options, or for their intervention. If it’s a very serious case; perhaps, you can apply for a departmental transfer or even look for a job somewhere else.

Furthermore, be aware that, quite often, some credit to your achievement might go to your boss. While some of them will attribute it to you, others will claim it. Nonetheless, whatever the case, your boss will realise how good you are, and will always want you besides him or her, because he or she can count on your competence.

Your relationship with other superiors should be that of politeness and respect, because they might become your boss in the future. Never criticise your boss to anybody—not even to other superiors, because it might get to your boss. However, getting close to a superior could allow you to know what is going on behind closed doors; thereby, enabling you to act appropriately. Nonetheless, never use an interrogatory approach; else, he or she could be suspicious of your intention, and become less open. In addition, it’s better to avoid the expression of your political opinion or political affiliation at work, because you don’t know that of your superiors. Some superiors could be very cruel with those whose political opinion or affiliation is different from theirs.

Be very cautious while dealing with your colleagues, because, first, some of them may be the mirror or transmitter of the management; thus, never criticise anybody in the office, or entertain such behaviour, or listen to gossips; otherwise, whatever you said might be amplified, and then directly or indirectly transmitted to the person. However, should you hear anything, just swallow it, and never be a messenger—transmitting it to anybody; not even your best friend, because it could rapidly spread like a wild fire. Should this happen, it would be very damaging to your veracity, and trust.

It has to be pointed out that sometimes, some gossips could be very valuable. Those are professional ones, and doesn’t involve any form of character assassination. Example of a positive gossiping is the one that could enable you to learn about your organisation’s modification of political tide, or the modification of the unwritten rules of the game. Another example is the news of a possible merger or acquisition, or news of a possible vacancy in a more attractive post that might interest you. While these gossips might seem interesting, you have to ascertain the validity of the information. Again, you have to make sure that the provided information ends with you.

It’s very important to recognise that some of your peers may secretly be having their eyes on the higher step of the ladder, and they wouldn’t mind stepping on anybody to get there. However, integrity, sense of responsibility, excellence, and assiduity should be your trademark. Never take any issue personal. Whenever there is a misunderstanding, always attack the issue, and not the person. Be aware that in your organisation, like in any other social sphere, sometimes, there are the bullies, the gossips, the busybodies, and of course, the honest and kind-hearted individuals. Irrespective of the situation or the person, let your greatest ammunition be your integrity, compassion, the serving spirit, understanding, and the ability to control your emotions.

Your junior colleagues should be treated like your peers. Many people tend to ignore or under rate the importance of their junior colleagues. First, they are as important as any other person in the organisation. Second, sometimes, they can be your greatest ally. Third, your junior colleagues could render unimaginable services to you when you least expect it. Do you know that, usually, juniors staffs tend to be the most knowledgeable ones related to office politics? The reason is that quite often, when they are where issues are being discussed, their presence is being ignored; thus, they overhear the plans.

Ultimate source of success

Many people believe that their professional success depends on their boss or superiors; consequently, they do lip service to them—some even worship them. This is ignorance, because your success depends on nobody, but on God, who is the Creator of everything. Don’t forget that your boss whom you depend on for your success depends on another person. If your boss cannot be sure of his or her success, how can he or she guarantee yours?

If your success comes from God, why then should you not depend on Him, but on an individual or group of people who are surviving by the Grace of God? People can disappoint you, but God can never, because he is a faithful, loving, caring, and merciful Father. The list of His attributes is endless. He is willing to grant all your requests, if you put Him at the centre of all your daily undertakings.

How you can depend on God, you may be wondering. The starting point is to realise that you can do nothing without him—that implies accepting His supremacy. Then you have to accept Jesus Christ, His son who came and died for your sins, resurrected on the third day, and later ascended to heaven, to sit at the right hand side of his Father to intercede for your sins as it’s stated in the Bible. After acknowledging this statement, all that you have to do is to invite Jesus Christ into you life as your Lord and Saviour, and ask Him to take control of all areas of your life: family, job, emotions, finance, health, etc. with this, you will surely see how your life will take a different dimension. This will start by the sensing of peace, joy, happiness, and sense of security, no matter the circumstance.

Be assured that God loves you very much, in spite of who you think you are, but he loves you so much that He doesn’t want to leave you as you are, but wants to change you from the inside out. He’s interested in changing your character.

If you accept what has just been pointed out, repeat this statement after me:

My heavenly Father, I acknowledge that I was born and brought up in sin, and I have sin against you (cite the sins), so I pray that you should forgive me all my sins; also, grant me your grace to forgive all those who have offended me in any way, in Jesus. I acknowledge the Lordship of Jesus Christ, and I invite Him into my life, and accept Him as my Lord and Saviour, who came and died for my sins. I humbly ask you to fill me with your Holy Spirit, so that He’ll protect, guide, and lead me each day of my life in Jesus name. Amen!

I am absolutely sure that if you sincerely repeat this many times with all your heart, and really believe in the power and authority of Jesus Christ, after awhile you’ll definitely sense the difference in your life.

Conversely, if you don’t accept my proposition, I implore you that, when you retire to the solitude of your bedroom, to ponder about your situation. If you’re happy with your present circumstance, then you can ignore my suggestion; else, perhaps it will be better to heed to the advice advocated in these pages. If I may ask you, if you ignore my suggestion, what do you think your situation will be within the next three, five, or ten years? I doubt very much that there’ll be any improvement. It’s up to you!

If you need more information about this issue, I suggest that you contact the pastor of your local church. I strongly believe that he will be very happy to help you.

I pray that the Almighty God; the Lord of Hosts grants all your desires according to His faithfulness, and May His grace abide by you, and above all, May He reveal Himself to you. Amen!

Credit Crunch:Reason Behind it, and How to Live a Debt-Free Life

2011-08-07T12:03:00.001-07:00

Credit crunch whose effects are like rain—falls on all roofs, is believed by economic and financial historians to be the worst economic crisis since the great depression which started in 1929, and continued through the early 1930s. This devastating crisis has prompted many to take their life; some have seen all their wealth disappeared within a twinkle of an eye; companies—both new and old have gone bankrupt; hundreds of thousands of employees have been rendered jobless; and many people could no longer acquire credit easily, especially in the developed countries. The worst still, is the experts’ inability to say for certain, the duration of the crisis—even if they do, how could they be trusted, if all their pronouncements so far have been baseless speculations.

The current world economic predicament that started in America in 2007 propagated easily throughout the four corners of the globe due to liberalisation, which makes borderless financial and economic transaction easier, and faster. The fathers of liberalisation never foresaw that misfortune such as this could spread beyond borders; if at all they did; precautionary measures were never put in place.

Being too concerned with the crisis and on how long it will last may not only distract us from looking for a solution, but it might also render many people depressive. Thus, we have to concentrate our effort on how to live happily in spite of it, and for those that are almost strangled by debt, how they could extricate themselves from it. First, let us trace the ultimate cause of the crisis, which the Experts attribute to the collapse of the American Real Estate market. This is not the root cause, but the fruit of the ills of our society: falsehood, hypocrisy, pretention, corruption, egocentricity, etc. If the Experts disagree with me, I have some questions for them: why didn’t the actors in the market give an accurate evaluation of the market value? Why didn’t the buyers cut their coat according to their size? Does it mean that the related authorities were ignorant of the situation; if they were aware, why didn’t they intervene early, and decisively? On answering these questions, it would be exposed that the Experts’ are either ignorant or hypocritical of the real origin of the crisis. The system of the developed world is rooted in debts. Our governments, service, and manufacturing sectors all directly or indirectly speak the same language, and share the same philosophy—they preach, encourage, and entice us to consume. The key word of all mass media is buy, buy, buy! The daily and periodic newspapers, magazines, most of the television programs, are full of enticements to buy one thing or the other—even our e-mail boxes are flooded with junk mails whose objective is to sale. The policy or philosophy to consume is crown by the innumerable credit cards spreading, and more are coming out each day. The idea behind these cards is “Buy today, but pay tomorrow”. The implicit appeal here is, “Live in debts”. The situation is becoming very alarming. In the 1970s and 1980s when I grew-up, this was almost nonexistent, but now, credit cards are even given to students without income, and the jobless. The plot to drown the population in debts is so successful because marketing psychologists plays on human weaknesses—need for acceptance, significance, and security. We have these needs because of the absence of God in our lives; thus that emptiness seeks to be filled. Humans were created to worship and adore God; doing so draws us closer to God and that gives us joy, and happiness. Unfortunately, with our disobedience, we deprive ourselves from these life’s necessities that we suppose to possess. This creates the void, which most people try to fill with the need for “Acceptance—attached to appearance, and admiration; significance: depicted by attaching much importance to performance, and accomplishment; security—seeks to be adored, status, and recognition. The problem with the just-mentioned three illusionary hiding factors is that they are time bound. In other words, the achievement of any or all of them is transitory. However, it has to be pointed out that, the intensity of the urge for the three above-mentioned ingredients is dependent on the individual’s childhood experience. Most of those that were brought up in a loving, caring and God centred family, are very likely to have lesser urge for acceptance, significance, and security, because as a child, he or she was shown love, acceptance, and they were made to realise how valuable they are before God, and that He created them in His image. As the person grow-up developing the values implanted into his or her mind by the parents, the need for those three elements are completely replaced by the Spirit of God in them, who makes them to realise whom they are, is through God’s grace, love, mercy, and faithfulness, and His presence in their life, and not by any feeling, desires, or emotions. Nevertheless, in spite of your childhood experience or your present situation or condition, if you make God the centre of everything you do, or of your possessions, he will prosper you, thereby giving you joy and happiness, for He is ready to accept you unconditionally. On the other hand, if you refuse to allow God to control your life, you’re very likely to strive to acquire all that you can, by any means, to fill the emptiness in you, and the obtained objects, quite often, become your gods. The bad news is that there is no satisfaction in human desire, because our wants are limitless. Thus, your desires multiply as they’re being met. Boundless wants and the innate need to fill the absence of God in one’s life impel people to be easily influenced by the marketing psychological plots to allure them to continuously swim in debts, whatever the price, because they use the goods or services purchased by those debts for a fruitless attempt to satisfy the emptiness in them. Regrettably, without the fear and knowledge of God, they fail to realise that, none of their wants can ever replace Him in their lives.Our government, services and the industrial sectors, and the society as a whole encourage the worship of materialism. They do this by characterising, describing, or valuing people based on their material possessions, and not by their God-given value. God created each of us with an unimaginable value, and with priceless significance. How to live a debt-free life

How can we live a debt-free life? First if you’re already engulfed by this generally encouraged evil, you have to re-assess your needs and wants. As most of your wants are not necessities, it’s advisable to forego them, even those that you’re already enjoying. You’ll cut off almost all the unnecessary expenses, thereby using the cut-off money to settle some of the debts. I quite understand that this is easier said than done. Hence, you’ll need a strong will and a burning desire to be debt-free, to take this action, more so, if you’ve been used to those products, or services. So you have to choose either living in misery due to debts, or happiness. Do not forget that a highly indebted individual is never happy, because he or she’s enslaved by debts.

If you’re so much in love with materialism; thus, find it difficult to forego many of your wants, you’ve to realise that we came to this world with nothing, and will leave with nothing. On reflecting on this fact, I have a question for you. Do you prefer to swim in debts for things that are temporary, instead of having a serenity, joy and happiness? However, God the Creator and Controller of everything is the ultimate solution to relieving you from huge debts—even when there’s no will power to be self- disciplined, he can provide the needed strength. On replacing materialism by God in your life, God whose grace abound, will graciously, faithfully, and generously set you free from all bondage, including that of debts. There’s absolutely nothing he cannot do for you. All that he expects from you is for you to surrender your life to Him, and He’ll take care of the rest. He’s anxiously waiting for you to open your heart, and your life for him to take control. Nothing but God can rescue you from bondage—debts, bitterness, guilt, or whatever that has been rendering you miserable. When this is done individually, on reaching the critical mass, the effects of the change would be felt in the whole society. Conversely, whatever takes God’s place in your life, or the society, sooner or later, its effects will definitely be exposed, and they are always disastrous, like our current experienced economic dilemma. How can you escape misery by replacing the worship of materialism by God in your life? The answer is simpler than you could imagine—you don’t need to spend any amount of money, neither do you have to do anything extraordinary. The starting point is to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour and acknowledge that He came and die on the cross for your sins, so that you might be set free from all guilt and bondage. This could be done if you converse the just-written facts, and surrendering yourself, your sins or wrong doings, bad habits, desires, weaknesses, and your strengths to God. How exactly this could be done, you may wonder. Wherever you are, just look for a quiet place where you wouldn’t be disturbed, close your eyes to avoid distractions, and open your heart, pains, and vulnerability to God, talk to Him as you would to your earthly father. Converse with Him, as He’s besides you, for He’s actually with you; ask Him for forgiveness for all your wrong doings, because we all have disobeyed Him in one way or the other, and surrender everything about you to Him, and then conclude all these in the name of Jesus. If this is done sincerely and soberly with humility, you’ll sense a great relief—all your heavy-heartedness and, guilt, and misery will automatically disappear, and you’ll surely feel like a liberated slave. Why do you not need to pay any amount, or make any sacrifice? It’s because Jesus paid all the price, and make all the sacrifices on your behalf when he died on the cross; He was condemned so that you will be liberated from all your sins, and bondage; He was rejected so that you will be accepted; He was insulted so that you will be respected, and he was killed, so that you will have eternal life. God loves you infinitely and unconditionally, and He’s anxiously awaiting your decision. All that He expects from you is your invitation. He’ll not force you to do anything, because He respects you, and your decisions. He only point out the effects of making any decision or taking any action. The choice is yours. If you’re very happy with your present circumstance or condition, I advise you to continue with it; else, I strongly advocate that you heed to the content of this piece, and you’ll definitely see the difference.However, should you have any doubt, and need more explanation, I advise you to talk to God as previously indicated, asking Him to lead you to the right church where you could be given all the necessary explanation, assistance, and guidance. Pastors or leaders of your local church will surely be delighted to receive you, even without any appointment, and to give you the necessary advise, explanation, or assistance. On taking the contents of this article seriously, and applying it as advocated, you will certainly realise the following:

- You will feel released from all anxiety, and guilt

- You will have sense of purpose for your life

- Your urge for materialism, which often prompted you to indebtedness, will disappear completely.

- While some of your bad habits will disappear immediately, others will do so gradually, as the presence of the Holy Spirit will gradually be dominating your life, and erasing them off.

These are possible because on accepting Christ as your Lord, and Saviour, and inviting Him to take control of all aspects of your life, He’ll give you the Holy Spirit, who will protect, guide, comfort, and lead you through all your daily activities. Today, now is the time for you to take a decision. Don’t wait for tomorrow, because it may never come. The sooner you take a decision, the quicker your situation will change for the better—you will surely discover the other side of life that you never experienced. If you wish to take an action now, would you please repeat this statement after me? Oh God my heavenly Father, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, and all therein, I thank you for giving me this opportunity to realise that you love me so much that you sent your only Son Jesus Christ to come and die on the cross for my sins, and that in spite of my innumerable sins, you still love and care for me. Father I pray and ask you in the name of Jesus that you forgive all my sins, for I committed them out of ignorance. Almighty God, I invite Jesus into my life, and I accept Him as my Lord and only Saviour. I ask you from now on, to take control of all aspects of my life, and may your name be praised through my life. From now on, I welcome Holy Spirit to administer to me; leading, guiding, and comforting me in Jesus’ name I pray. Amen!

Offering this prayer with sincerity and humility, and really believing in its contents, you will definitely start to feel differently. The joy, which only flourishes with the presence of God, will be ushered into your mind, heart, and thoughts. You will become a different person, and even your family, neighbours, friends, and associates will notice it, and they would even ask you the reason for the sudden changes in you.

May Almighty Father whose love, faithfulness, mercy, and grace is boundless bless you; may He answer all your prayers according to His love and kindness, and above all, may His will for you be done, in Jesus’ name. Amen! God bless you!

Secret For Joy And Happiness

2011-01-26T04:07:00.000-08:00

Joy and happiness are the fundamentals of human existence, and it is the hidden root of all human endeavours। A teacher, nurse, doctor, lawyer, businessperson, and you name it, leaving his or her home for work each day; implicitly do so in search of these important components of life. This also applies to a newly wedded couple, or a parent taking care of his or her child or children. There is no human activity without joy and happiness as the main hidden reason for its pursuance.

Very regrettably, though of paramount necessity, the most sought after components of our daily life is very difficult to experience। This is so because as children of God, we possess them already; it is only for us to awaken it. Unfortunately, quite often, this knowledge eludes most Christians.

It is important to note that, as Christians, we are not immune to the world’s turbulence। On the contrary, we encounter more problems and difficulties than others, because through life’s thorny paths, God refines our character, transforming us according to his will, so that if we submit to him, he can use us to glorify his name.

From the day we accept Christ as our Lord and Saviour, and invite him into our live, Satan, who opposes all that stands for God, declares war against us—attacking us through our health, job, family, relationships, desires, et cetera। The good news is that irrespective of how intense the battle might seem, victory is undoubtedly ours, because Christ’s crucifixion has already won the battle for us. Nothing—absolutely nothing and nobody can ever succeed in fighting against us, except we so wish.

If we resist God’s calling, we will definitely encounter difficulties, because God knows what is best for us। If we make a wrong choice or decision, it is quite normal that we encounter problems. It is just like taking a wrong direction. For we have a merciful and loving father, kind and sympathetic, whenever we return to him—repenting from our disobedience, he is always there with open-arms to receive us back.

JOY AND HAPPINESS
Let us start with happiness.
WHAT IS TRUE HAPPINESS
Life’s experiences are not always happy। Nevertheless, the belief is that, we ought to strife for happiness—to do all that we can, to attain it, and make personal satisfaction our main goal. Solomon, writing about his own life, discovered that his wealth, power, wives, and accomplishments did not make him happy. Happiness is an elusive goal because people and circumstances change quickly. True and lasting happiness, however, comes from pleasing God. We cannot achieve happiness, but can only receive it through a right relationship with God, because only God knows what is really best for us, and he is the Creator and the giver of happiness.

WHAT IS JOY?
When things are going well, we feel elated; when hardships come; we sink into depression। True joy transcends these waves of circumstances. Joy comes from a consistent relationship with Jesus Christ. When our lives are intertwined with his, he helps us walk through adversity without sinking into lows and helps us manage prosperity, without moving into deceptive highs. The joy of living with Christ daily keeps us levelheaded, no matter how high or low our circumstances.

JOY VS HAPPINESS
True joy is far deeper than happiness; for it can be felt even when we are in the deepest troubles. Happiness is temporary because it is based on external circumstances, but joy is lasting because it is based on God’s presence within us. We can find joy and happiness as we contemplate God’s presence daily, both in our lives and around us.
While joy comes from knowing and trusting God, happiness comes because of pleasant circumstances or situations। Joy is constant as long as we trust God; happiness is unpredictable, for it fluctuates. Joy defeats discouragements; happiness covers it up. Joy is lasting; happiness is temporary.

HOW TO RECEIVE JOY AND HAPPINESS
1. CARING FOR OTHERS
The ultimate litmus test for having joy and happiness is how caring we are to others, because this is its only legitimate source। Hence, always helping everybody we encounter and even creating opportunities to render unpaid services to others, will surely give us great joy and happiness. By serving others, we obey God’s command that we should love others, and only action can demonstrate true love.

By experimenting with this, you will come to discover that this is the only genuine source of lasting happiness। In other words, the only source of lasting joy and happiness is forming the habit of making others happy—meaning, if we long for these two attributes, we must render un-rewarded services to others. The more we do this, the happier and joyous we will be, irrespective of the circumstances that we may be facing.

I do not mean only those who have done good to us, for this is rewarding them for the services to us। To bear fruit, we have to do it to everybody, even our enemies.

For this philosophy to work there is a condition that must be respected, without which we will be wasting our time and resources। We must not render unpaid services to people to show off or to boast—doing this will definitely rob us of our desired goal. The more we apply this principle, the happier, and joyous we will be. Somebody once said, “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Once people know how much we care, they will pray for us, and the more they pray, the more we will be blessed. Joy and happiness always follows God’s blessings.

2. SCRIPTURAL MEDITAION
As we can hardly know our earthly father without having an intimate relationship with him, so also it is with our heavenly father। This is possible only through spending time studying and meditating on his Word. If we do this regularly, we will systematically get to understand his personality, and his boundless power that he has made available to us. Word will breathe life into our daily activities.

In the New Testament, meditation is emphasized in Paul’s admonition to Timothy (1 Timothy 4:15)। In this verse, the Greek word for “Meditation,” meleta, means “To be careful,” or “To show care” in a matter. This suggests that meditation is more than just thinking good thoughts. It is paying attention to how we might specifically apply these lessons, after we have finished the meditation, asking the Holy Spirit to guide us.

Meditation gives joy or inner peace and good health as pointed out in Psalm 119:93; it reads, “I will never lay aside your laws, for you have used them to restore my joy and health।” Isaiah 26:3 supports this as it states, “He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord’s.” In other words, as we can never avoid difficulties in the world around us, with God, through his Words, we can still have perfect peace even while encountering turmoil. Supported by God’s unchanging love and mighty power, the surrounding calamities will never overwhelm us—natural or otherwise, even ones as destructive as the Tsunami disaster.

Besides meditation giving us joy and happiness, reflecting on the Word of God gives hope when there seem to be despair। The Psalmist realised this when he said in Psalm 94:19, “Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer.”

Secondly, spending time meditating on the Scriptures gives tremendous wisdom and understanding that will affect all areas of our daily life। It is through meditation that we can rise above our natural selves and the world, seeing God’s plan in its proper perspective. Meditation is the mother of creativity.

HOW TO MEDITATE
1. Focusing on God’s person:
What does this mean? It is reflecting on our understanding of our Creator. Though at first glance this seems easy, on a deeper thought our impression is quite the opposite. There are many questions that spring up in our mind—questions such as, what do we actually know about God? What do we believe about God? What does the Bible say about God that touches our every day life? What great attributes of God can we better appropriate in our life each day?
On doing this, we discover that no one can get answer to most of our questions, except if we ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate our mind and give us wisdom and understanding। As we meditate regularly, we will be amazed to see how our understanding of God’s nature and His purpose both for us and for the world increases. Consequently, our confidence in ourselves and in His Words will also increase beyond our imagination. We will feel God’s joy and happiness in our hearts.

2. Focusing on God’s Word:
There is nothing as inspiring, encouraging, and motivating than meditating on God’s Word. With about thirty thousand of God’s promises in the Scriptures, irrespective of our circumstances there is always a promise that can reassure us. Besides all other promises, is it not comforting to know that God tells us not to be afraid, and that he will never abandon nor forsake us?
Personally, one of my most comforting promises of God is found in Jeremiah 29:11 – 13; it reads, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord। They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. You will find me when you seek me, if you look for me in earnest.” Whenever I am disappointed or going through a difficult time, as I am now, all the negative emotions that I had disappear when I read this. Joy and happiness, hope and optimism fill my heart. This has been a great source of inspiration to me.

If you form the habit of meditating on God’s promises in the Scriptures, especially those that correspond with your particular situation, you will realise that you can have joy and happiness as your permanent companion, no matter what your situation।

3. Focusing on God’s work:
Another angle that we could reflect on the Scriptures is God’s work। This is what the writer of Psalm 77:12 did when he wrote, “Those wonderful deeds are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about them.”

One does not need to travel far to see God’s wonderful handwork to meditate on, because his majestic creation is all around us। You can even start with your person. Have you ever imagined how complex our body is? It is made up of hundreds of different parts, elements, substances, cells, etc. Yet each of them and their respective roles are important and necessary to the functioning of our body.

We can also reflect on the sky with its magnificent asymmetric structure and components, whose nature is beyond human understanding; despite all the scientific researches and discoveries। We could meditate on countless things.

The more we ponder on God’s creation, the more we will discover how insignificant we are as compared to him। The main advantage of this method is it has the tendency of humbling us before God. Consequently, we will be blessed as Christ promised in the Beatitude, “Blessed are the humbled, for theirs is the kingdom of God.”

4. Focusing on past victories:
Quite often, we forget all the wonderful things that God has done for us in the past. On reflecting on them our heart will never stop glorifying him, and we will never be scared of the future or any situation. Unfortunately, quite often we completely forget all that he has done for us, and concentrate only on the very few things that we lack. That is human nature.
Meditate on God’s previous blessings, guidance, goodness, protections, and mercies during difficult times। Why not follow Jeremiah as stated in Lamentation 3:21 – 23, it says, “Yet there is one ray of hope: his compassion never ends. It is only the Lord’s mercies that have kept us from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness: his loving-kindness begins afresh each day.”

5. Praise and worship: With praise and worship we thank, adore, glorify, and magnify God’s grace, mercy, faithfulness, amazing love the list is infinite.
The effect of praise and worship is immediate, and it is astounding. Quite often, when I encounter a situation that seems to overwhelm me, all that I do, is to sing my favourite songs. Joy and happiness flow abundantly into my heart. My favourites are:
When I think of the goodness of Jesus
And all that he has done for me
My very soul shouts Alleluia
Thank you Lord for saving me
……………………………….
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end
They are new every morning
New every morning
Great is thy faithfulness, oh Lord
Great is thy faithfulness

When you face a situation that seems impossible for you to handle, just sing one of your most favourite songs। You will feel tremendous joy and happiness pour into your heart. It will be like an opened tap whose outlet was blocked.

3. TITHING
Tithing is one of the greatest secrets for joy and happiness that has eluded many, even most dedicated Christians. What is the relationship between tithing and joy and happiness, you may wonder. The answer comes from knowing its main purpose as it is stated in the second sentence of Deuteronomy 14:23, to “teach us always to put God first in our lives.”
The above-quoted passage makes it very clear—to put God first in our lives. We are to give God the first and best of what we earn. What we do first with our money shows what we value most. Giving the first part of our income to God immediately focuses our attention on him. It also reminds us that all that we have are his. Forming a habit of tithing regularly can keep God at the top of our priority list; giving us a proper perspective on everything else we have.
The benefits of tithing are two-fold। First, keeping God at the top of our priority list makes God keep us at his. Second, paying to support God’s work makes him promote all our endeavours. It is impossible to tithe habitually without being blessed beyond human comprehension. When this happens, joy and happiness will come naturally.

4. FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness is the offspring of understanding and acceptance.
Like the other two components, it does not mean approval but forgetting unconditionally about the past, accepting the present as it is, and looking towards the future with optimism.
Forgiving others is to erase completely what the person has done to us from our mind. It is forgetting about retaliation, reparation, restitution, or revenge.
Besides that forgiveness releases the heavy burden of grudges from our mind, the Bible says that God forgive us as we forgive others। No wise person could ever wish to face God’s anger that might be brought about by his or her unforgiving attitude.

Bitterness always accompanies unforgiveness, and in its presence, joy and happiness will be as far from us as East is from the West। By forgiving, we not only create room for joy and happiness, but we also invite them to take their place in our hearts.

I do not mean to say that it is easy to forgive। I quite understand how difficult it can be. Luckily there is a strategy, and that is to separate the problem from the perpetrator. We can do this by referring to the Scriptures, as it states that our troubles are not caused by flesh and blood, but by principalities. Most of our problems, including being offended by people are spiritual warfare, rather than the doing of the people concerned. By reasoning this way, and with prayers, it will be easier to forgive.

I pray that Almighty God, who called us to serve him, will grant us all that we need, including filling our hearts with joy and happiness, so that we may serve him with assiduity, in order that his name will be glorified, in Jesus’ mighty name। Amen!

N/B: THIS ARTICLE REMAINS THE PROPERTY OF ITS AURTHOR
The author also has an inspiration book entitled, "In search of Success", which is yet to be published.

The Fundamentals For Success

2011-01-26T03:45:00.000-08:00

“I am convinced”, Zacchaeus said, that life is just a game, here on earth, a game where no one need be a loser, no matter what his plight or condition may be. I believe that everyone can enjoy the fruits of victory but I am equally as certain that, like all other games, one cannot participate in this mysterious act of living with any hope of satisfaction unless one understands a few simple rules.”
Og Mandino’s
The Greatest Success in the World
Have you ever spent some time pondering over the existence and the functioning of everything around you, including human beings? If you have, what have been your conclusions? If you have not, I suggest that you take a minute or two and do a little fact-finding exercise. Wherever you are now, I suggest that you just look around you and observe very carefully all that you can see, including the sky.
If I say that you have seen hundreds of things within a few minutes, I do not think that would be an exaggeration. Now if I may ask, what do you think all of them have in common? This may seem to be an odd question, but it is worth reflecting upon, for it is important to our existence, as they have at least one thing in common. The sun, the air you are breathing right now, your electronic appliances, the electricity which you use almost every minute of your life, the car you are driving, your pets, flowers and plants, even your very person—I mean everything under the Universe—all have one thing in common. That is, Laws entirely governs their existence and functioning.
In other words, you are living in a world that is entirely governed by laws. Whether you realise it or not, whatever happens to you is as a result of either an abuse or ignorance of one or some of these laws or as a result of their application. Therefore, certain laws also govern success, as it is one of the world’s phenomena
If you yearn for success, it is necessary that you know and obey its laws and principles, at least the basic ones. Even when you achieve it, you still have to obey it laws, else instead of giving you an avalanche of joy and happiness, it is likely to leave behind just the opposite.
After this discovery, there are two questions that worth asking. What is your meaning of life? Moreover, what do you think is the reason for your being here on earth? Do you think you are here on earth by an accident? These questions are very important, and they deserve pondering upon, for your success depends on your answers. Your inability to answer them correctly is just like a student who studies physics for a history examination. I leave you to imagine what the outcome would be.
These questions have puzzled innumerable prominent philosophers for thousands of years. While many of them have thrown inn their towels, others have been coming up with implausible guesses. The research that Dr. Hugh Moorhead, a philosophy professor at North-eastern Illinois University confirms this difficulty of finding the meaning of life. He wrote to 250 very prominent philosophers, scientists, writers, and other intellectuals worldwide, asking them, what they think the meaning of life is, and then published their answers in a book. While some gave guessed answers, others admitted that they just created a purpose for their life, and the rest admitted that they had no idea whatever.
The universal opinion about life is that, it is all about our personality, our vocation, what we eat or drink, what we do for our leisure time, etc. Most people believe that if they can earn a lot of money, have expensive dresses, eat whatever they wish; live an exorbitant life, then they assume that they are having a wonderful life. All these satisfy only man’s appetites, and not their deepest longings—this is the one of the reasons most very well to do people have the feeling of emptiness, and dissatisfaction.
Real life comes from total commitment to God—the Creator of life. Total commitment to God requires discipline, sacrifice, and hard work, and that is why most people never find or have a successful life. At first, it may not seem to be as much fun as the popular way of living, but gradually, as our relationship with God deepens, it strengthens our character, and gives birth to peace of mind, and profound satisfaction. The long-term rewards of obeying God are unimaginable.
The answer to the second question is that, we are here on earth to be prepared for eternity. We were brought here to love, and fellowship with one other and to learn how to love and worship God. These are timeless activities, for they are what prevail in the Heaven. While we learn to glorify God from all his creation around us, we also learn to love both God and our fellow men and women by living in communion with other people, and by sharing all the potentials, gifts and God’s boundless blessings with them. On doing these, happiness is inevitable.
The principle that states, “Do to others what you expect them to do to you” is one of the most classical values worth not only knowing, but also respecting. This is the most recognised principle, yet the most ignored. Many people have phrased it differently. A popular saying states, “As you dress your bed, so you lie on it.”
No matter how this philosophy is put, the effect of its application remains the same; that is, if you hurt others, you will surely reap its rewards, especially if the victim of your action does not revenge. The Bible makes it very explicit as it states, “Whatsoever a man sows, that he will also reap.” The longer it takes you to reap, the greater your reward will be. This is why the wicked rarely have peace of mind; though outwardly, they pretend to be happy, but inwardly, they are very miserable.
This leads us to a related law, which states that we should love our neighbours like ourselves. The first question that might be asked is who is our neighbour? Our neighbour is anyone of any race, creed, or social background who is in need. In other words, loving your neighbours like yourself means, helping anyone who is in need, irrespective of your similarity of differences.
Wherever you live, there are needy people around you. Sometimes, your assistance can be negligible, but its effects quite significant. The advantages of respecting this law are two-fold. First, the more help you offer to others, the more you will be blessed and second, it always makes you happier, and it gives you a sense of accomplishment.
Another thing that most people often misunderstand is what I will call here Mr. PROBLEM. If this man confronts you, how do you receive him? Do you receive him as an enemy or as a friend? Personally, I always receive him not only as a friend, but also as a good one. In fact, he has been visiting me regularly.
Why do I welcome him as a good friend? It is because I realise that problems come to open new doors for me. The same also applies to you. After an encounter with Mr. PROBLEM, you will never be the same. He always comes to give you more experience, making you stronger morally and mentally, and he comes to give you more wisdom. Honestly speaking, problems can never occur without opportunities accompanying him for you to benefit from. Again, irrespective of how he comes, he does so to prepare you for the future.
Why not follow the golden advice of Oliver Wendell Holmes, who stated as follows, “If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. The trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I do not embrace trouble: that is as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you’ll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it.”
Why should I be in terms with problems? You may ask. The reason is that, God has a purpose for all problems—every problem has spiritual signification. Sometimes, he uses them to draw us closer to himself, because desperation due to them, forces us to be dependent on him. This is to our own good; for, Romans 8:28 tells us that, “And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into his plans.” King James Version puts it differently, it says, “Everything works for the good for those who love God.”
It is worth realising that all problems bring with it, character-building opportunity, and the more serious the crisis, the greater the potential for strengthening us spiritually. Paul confirms this as he writes in Romans 5:3 – 4, it states, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to be patient. And patient develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.”
I believe this was what happened because of my separation with my ex-wife Charity. She left with my two boys, with her lover in January 1996. At the end of the same month, I lost my job. Two months later, she came and destroyed all my cloths, including shoes, ties, belts, et cetera. Then, I felt as if it was the end of the world, especially, the sudden disappearance of my children in my live. My only comfort was that, I understood that nothing is eternal, except God, and that He was with me. God used that circumstance to strengthen me mentally and spiritually, thereby, drawing me closer to him. Since then, I have been privileged to meet and advice many people who are passing through separation and divorce; consequently, I am writing about it.
I wish to point out here that, predicaments do not automatically produce God’s intention for us, except if we respond positively to them, instead of bitterly; else, we will never grow through them.
Now you may wonder how you could respond to problems positively. The answer lies in your attitude, and the best one to have towards problems is to thank God for it as the Bible advices “No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” You have to be thankful to God because first, he trusts you and know that you can handle the situation successfully. Second, character refinement through predicaments is the ultimate preparation for eternity.
All these could be summed up to the fact that, problems or difficulties that you encounter, help develop your patience—which in turn will strengthen your character, deepen your trust in God, and give you greater confidence about the future.
However, it is important to point out that, what has just been written so far about problems or difficulties should not be used as an excuse for swimming in them. For so doing is to waste resources—such as time, energy, and money. Besides, it can delay the attainment of your desired success.
The good news is that, most problems are avoidable, as either ignorance or negligence often causes them. In other words, being more careful in everything you do, and depending on God could eliminate most of our encounters with Mr. Problem.
It is quite true that you will see lots of it as long as you live. For it is impossible to live without problems, difficulties, or obstacles. This is because character development is a slow and continues process, and since problems are to help refine our character, they have to be an integral part of our life; more so, as our character development only ends the day we answer the nature’s ultimate call.
Besides, without problems, life would be very boring, and we would be living like animals as all our possessions—the house we are living in, our cars, the food we eat, even the cloths we put on, came about because of people trying to solve their daily problems.
This brings us to another unfathomable reality about life. It is the fact that when things happen to our loved ones, or us we often ask the question why me or us? What we fail to comprehend is that, it is impossible for us to know everything or all the reasons that things occur to us. In other words, we can never understand all the reasons, and how God does everything. He does not reveal everything to us, because of the followings: our finite minds cannot understand some of the infinite aspects of God’s universe, some things are not necessary for us to know, and finally, since God is infinite and all-knowing, it is simply impossible for us—infinite minds, to know everything he does.
As you are preparing your mind for success, there are some other things worth noting, and here they are referred to as the “Triplet”. If you want success, you must watch them very carefully, as their effect is as dangerous to the mind as the nuclear bomb is to the human race. They deserve their name because the three are always together. They are: indecision, doubt and fear.
Indecision is the seedling of fear. It crystallises into doubt, and the two blend and become fear. These three would be fully treated later, and you would be advised on how to eliminate them, for when they are present, it is impossible to achieve success, no matter how hard you may work.
I which to bring to your notice, a natural phenomenon, which is the most fundamental principles of life that many rarely think about, yet it is very real in our daily lives. It is very real right from our birth, and will ever remain so until our death—even until the end of the world. This principle is called “Change.” Change takes place independent of our desire.
Change is all around us. While some changes come about gradually, others happen more rapidly. There is nothing in the world that this phenomenon does not affect. Some changes are anticipated and welcome, other are unexpected and even frightening. However and whenever they come, they have to be confronted, for they are unavoidable.
In relation to success, change is a double-edged sword. It can bring success if it is anticipated, planned for, and on arriving, it is analysed and the opportunities that accompany it are exploited to one’s best advantage. Surely, many changes cannot be anticipated—example September 11th. An example of unanticipated change is the one brought about by natural disasters, such as the tsunami of the 26 December 2005 in Southeast Asia, where thousands of people lost their live, and properties of billions of Euros destroyed. Another example is that of a cyclone such as cyclone Katrina of August 2006 that devastated and killed hundreds of people in New Orleans, Louisiana, and Mississippi, in the southern part of the United States. Therefore, the issue is to be flexible and responsive to change. Conversely, if it is not anticipated and planned for, its arrival could be followed by shock, desperation, and confusion of both thought and action. In the presence of any of the just-mentioned, success has only one reaction—it disappears.
The question that could be asked is, what about devastating unexpected changes, how could one handle it? First, God has prepared us adequately for whatever will happen to us, as nothing happens by accident. Hence, you need to lean on him to give you the strength, courage, and the wisdom to handle the situation creatively. Furthermore, through our family, friends and associates, and neighbours’ assistance, we could successfully pass through the situation. Their assistance might be morally, spiritually, or even materially.
When talking about « Change », there is what Psychologists call the theory of paradoxical change. It states that, grumbling holds back progress, but acceptance of the situation facilitates change. Quite often, one cannot find a solution to his of her problem without accepting its existence.
Now, there is another important point that I must bring to your notice, for it is the root of happiness and misery, failure and success, and it brings about most of the things that happen to you. Even if you forget every other point, do not forget this. Quite often, whatever you believe is what happens to you, especially, if you allow it to dominate your thought.
If you believe that God created you to be a winner, that you were born to be successful, and if you believe that everybody and everything are there to help you to realise your dreams, nothing in this world will ever stand between you and success. Conversely, if you are a paranoid, the opposite is also very true.
How does this work? It is simple. Whatever you believe creeps into your thought, and as your thought is the offspring of your subconscious mind, it is nurtured by it, until your thought becomes a reality. The realisation of the offspring of your thoughts may or may not take time, depending on certain factors, which would be explained later.
What I term as belief factor, is very important and directly connected to the achievement of success, because our belief is the offspring of our values. The former influences all our behaviours; consequently, it has the tendency of transforming everything about us, including our circumstances. I believe, this was the reason Christ laid so much emphasis on the word belief, in his teachings, because his teachings were based on one main principle, transformation—transformation of our character to reflect that of his father.
What is the foundation of your belief? The ultimate source of the belief that is liberating—the one that will give you joy and happiness is the one that is rooted in God through the death on the cross of his only son Jesus Christ. Any other source of belief is enslaving, and it always bring along anxiety, frustration and desperation.
The next fact that is very necessary to be understood is that, humanity can perform all kinds of technological wonders. He can find stars invisible to the naked eyes, he has visited space, and is even trying now to make it a tourist destination, and he can store volumes of information on microscopic chips. Nevertheless, even the most intelligent scientists in the world, on their own, cannot discover or understand the meaning of life.
This mystery of life does not only concern the scientific world, for sometimes people also look to philosophers and other leaders or group of leaders to solve this equation of life, by giving them the direction for living. Irrespective of who ventures to solve this equation, the result is always the same. That is, human beings are unable to produce enough knowledge or insight to explain the totality of human experience—the ultimate interpretation of life, of whom we are, and where we are going, is absolutely beyond human understanding.
However, a tiny proportion of this equation can be solved. The ability to solve it lies outside human intelligence or understanding. It lies in discovering that wisdom is the only ladder to perceiving the meaning of life. How can this wisdom be obtained? You may ask. It can be found through its source and Creator, which is God, and this is by realising that the true wisdom is seeking God’s perspective of life. As the Creator of life, he is the only one who knows what is best for his creation. Hence, it is fruitless for human beings to try to become wise merely through their own observations and efforts, because as Inventor sees the purpose of his or her invention, God alone sees the greater purpose for his world—his creation.
Furthermore, there is a hidden fact that many are yet to discover; it is a double-sided phenomenon, and your ability to succeed in life depends on how you could balance the two sides. This fact is a basic economic principle—input-output or import-export dichotomy. Regrettably, we seldom apply this principle to our daily life.
What exactly is this fact, and how does it relates to our subject matter—success? This is what I shall call the principle of continuity, and it states that, during your existence on earth, exploit your potentials and all the resources around you as much as necessary, and before leaving, contribute as much as possible to the world, and its future generations. The most important fact is not what you will take when you will be gone, because you will take almost nothing, but what you will leave behind.
The easiest illustration of this principle is in the production establishments. A manufacturing company acquires its necessary raw materials, processes it, and then supplies its output to the consumers (the society). Its ability to stay in business is directly dependent on its input – output ratio; the more the output surpasses the input, the more profitable the business. In other words, the more the revenue exceeds the expenditure, the better the economic health of the company.
This is also applicable to our existence in this world—the more we exploit the resources that our Creator has put in our disposal, and then contribute to the continuity of our world, the more successful we are.
As we are three-dimensional being—mind, body, and the spirit, contributing to our world in at least one of these areas, is the best we can do for ourselves. The fulfilment of this principle will inevitably give you the feeling of accomplishment, because it is one of your missions here on earth. You should ask yourself this important question: if you were to die today, what legacy would you leave behind? Are you taking more than you are giving into the world?
Very regrettably, most people are taking as much as they can, without not only planning to leave anything to our successors, but also even trying to destroy what they came to see. This is the issue of the environment, where many in our generation are directly, or indirectly destroying our environment, with all types of pollutions, and global warming intensifying actions, without thinking of the future generations. Despite the out-cry from most of the members of the scientific community, many decision makers, who have the power to positively influence decisions that could contribute to leaving a better environment to our future generations, are turning a blind hear.
Now, I think you have already been well prepared for the life-changing pilgrimage, for I have pointed out few laws that can bring success. I am leaving the rest for you to discover for yourself. Remember, there is no obstacle between you and success, but yourself.
N/B: THIS ARTICLE REMAINS THE PROPERTY OF ITS AURTHOR
The author also has an inspiration book entitled, "In search of Success", which is yet to be published.

Living Through Separation

2011-01-26T03:29:00.000-08:00

Humans are by nature not a solitary but a social creature. Our social nature makes us happier when we are in others' company, and less so when confined in solitude. However, there are certain occasions, or situations when we intentionally prefer to isolate ourselves from others. While some isolation can awaken our creativity, others can do just the opposite; depending on one's ability to manage the situation.
Throughout history, many great achievers from various fields tapped their hidden potentials while in solitude. I am yet to see or learn about a great man or woman who has not realised the importance of solitude to the achievement of success. Even Jesus Christ, with his divine nature, realised this fact, which was the reason he often withdrew from everybody including his disciples before facing difficult situations such as Satan's temptations in the wilderness, and his arrest and his subsequent crucifixion.
All self-imposed solitudes do not arouse creativeness, because it is not all self-isolated people that recognise the importance, and can exploit the enormous potential of this element, to their benefit; even some of those who understand its importance, might not have the burning desire, and the discipline it requires to exploit it to their advantage.
Thus, quite often, isolation is very destructive instead of the contrary, especially when negative emotions such as: fear, jealousy, hatred, bitterness, revenge, greed, superstition, anger, bitterness and self-blame or regret, frustration, and suspicion surround it.
Before going further, it is worth stating what 'Separation' here means. The subject of this article refers to parting between two lovers, either by divorce, in friendship or courting. It also concerns separation by the death of a loved, or a closed one.
We're living in an era where separation is seen as the normal way of life. Many people even believe that when there is a storm in a relationship, it is better to leave instead of finding ways to remedy the situation. Hence, either we have in one time or the other experience this problem, or encounter those that are going through it, of have gone through. Nobody is immune form separation from a loved one. What is the connection between isolation and the subject of this article, "Living Through Separation", you may wonder. The two relate because isolation is one of the most common defence devices that people that are going through separation often resort to. They usually isolate themselves from their relatives, neighbours, friends, and associates. Their solitary attitude could be attributed principally to fear. They are often afraid of what people will say or think about their negative emotions, because they assume that people will never understand their feelings from their perspective.

Also they are often afr aid that people will blame them for the collapse of their relationship. If you are passing through this unfortunate period, and your intention is to live through it successfully within the shortest time possible, isolation is the least attitude that you need. Alternatively, all that you need most is the profound comprehension of the facts governing your present experience, and the best ammunitions to employ to combat the negative emotions successfully. A. BASIC FACTS GOVERNING THE PERIOD OF SEPARATIONFirst, separation is a life-changing phenomenon. Once it occurs, your life will change completely. It will change either positively or negatively, depending on how you handle the situation. Regardless of all the good intentions and efforts of your closed ones, if you consciously or unconsciously refuse to sum-up yourself to create happiness for yourself as soon as possible, all their efforts to help you would be fruitless.
Creatively managed separation is a life transforming experience, for it will awaken your latent potential. Separation will definitely bring about life's enriching, learning experience, and personal growth. It is important to underline here that, no matter how it happens, you will never be the same, as it will make you stronger psychologically, and sometimes, spiritually too, and it will make you wiser.
Third, separation as both learning and a self-awakening process could enable you to understand yourself better; although sometimes the process could be very painful. No matter how painful it might be, it always has a silver lining, for it will enable you to realise both your strengths and weaknesses, provided, at a given time, you analyse the situation profoundly. Doing so enables you to uncover your mistakes, and also to realise that some of your predicaments may have been self-inflicted. Thus, it will be possible for you to make the necessary corrections or adjustments in your subsequent relationship, or relationships.
Fourth, having negative emotions during the process of separation is quite normal, desirable, and even a healthy experience. Negative emotions such as anger and bitterness, frustration, self-blame or the feeling of guilt and fear are parts of grief's healing process. However, they only become very destructive if you allow them to dominate your thoughts, and harbouring them for a very long time. In order words, the more you master them, and get rid of them as quickly as possible, the easier and sooner you would pass through the agony successful.
Furthermore, even if you were the cause of the collapse of your relationship, living forever with that guilt can be very detrimental to both your health and to your chances of overcoming the situation successfully. One of the easiest and direct remedies to the feeling of guilt, which could be the best thing you can do for yourself, is to look for a person that you can trust, who is very understanding, affectionate, and should have great patience, a good listener, and should be capable of encouraging you to talk freely. Consequently, you will be relieved of the heaviness in your mind; thereby getting over the negative emotions easily and quicker. Later, the person should remind you of all your strengths, and the reasons why you should not allow your guilty feeling to enslave you.
Besides, allowing guilt to engulf you is an indication of your inability to recognise the fact that no matter how intelligent and wise one may seem, he or she is not immune from making mistakes. Life of absolute perfection is not human, but supernatural, and nobody is a superhuman. All that counts most is your ability to accept your mistakes, correct them when necessary, and learn from them, and move on with your life.
Again, it is baseless and unhelpful to be suspicious of everybody around you when grieving separation. It is baseless because among those around you, there are certainly those who really love and care for you. So it is advisable to find them out, lean on them, and trust them to help you retrieve both happiness and an inspiration, to victoriously overcome your difficult situation.
Human nature impels us to directly or indirectly seek comfort and support from others when we are confronting huddles of life. Under normal circumstances, people like to help those who are open to them, and would be receptive to their kindness. Suspicion does not only repel people, it also wounds their feelings towards us, thereby making it difficult, and if not impossible for them to help us when we need their help. B. HANDLING ANGER AND BITTERNESSAnger and bitterness as effects of separation is an indication of your protest against your sad and lamentable experience. It is a normal, and a necessary ingredient to the healing of your grief.
The first method of handling your anger is to talk about it as many times as possible. This requires identifying a relative, neighbour, friend, or associate whom you love and admire, who can understand and respect your feeling, and encourage you to offload your bitterness by having the patience to listen to you.
The second strategy is the easiest, and one of the most effective, yet usually ignored. It entails putting all the reasons for your anger and bitterness into black and white. Whenever any negative feelings spring up, all you need to do is to pick up a pen and a paper, and write a letter as if you are writing-pouring your heart out to your ex-partner. Feel free to state all the reasons for your anger, and how it has affected you. Doing this as many times as possible, and tearing or burning them afterwards, is you so wish, will relief you tremendously.
How do you feel whenever you are offended and you burst out before your offender, pouring out all your anger to that person? I guess that after your outburst, you are usually relieved and more relaxed. That is exactly how you will feel after writing your letter of annoyance, for you will have the sentiment of having talked directly to your ex-partner.
Another method is the one that most Therapists often use. It is known as, "Beating the pillow". It is quite simple. It consists of locking yourself in your bedroom, talking to your pillow-pouring out all your anger and bitterness on it, and beating it as if your pillow is your ex-partner. Feel free to shade tears if it comes, and continue this process as long as necessary. After the episode, you will certainly feel much better.
However, the ultimate solution to anger, and bitterness, regardless of its cause is prayer-praying to the Almighty God, asking him to take away all your anger and bitterness, and then give you peace of mind. Perhaps you have never prayed, probably because you are not a Believer. But that does not matter at all, because your Creator loves and cares very much for you, irrespective of whom you are, and he is everywhere, always listening to you. If you do not know how to pray, simply praying using the following statement, believing with all your heart that God will definitely grant your request will surely make a difference. "Please God my Heavenly father, Creator of Heaven and Earth and all therein, I ask you to forgive all my sins.

From today, I accept your son Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour, and I invite him into my life. I pray that you fill me with you Holy Spirit. I humbly ask you to take away all my anger and bitterness, and replace it with joy and happiness that comes from you. I pray that you give me the strength, wisdom, and all that I need, so that I can pass through this situation successful, for your name to be glorified. In Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen!" The easiest prayer is talking to God as if he is your earthly father, and he is just beside you. Feel very free to pour out all your agony to him. He is actually beside you, and listening to you, and will definitely respond to your lamentation.C. HANDLING GUILT AND SELF-BLAMEWhen relationships end, people often blame themselves for the failure. While some guilt may be genuine; others are baseless. Your guilt is genuine if you had knowingly or unknowingly contributed to your separation. If the contrary is the case, then yours is unrealistic. A lot has been written already about this subject; here our attention would be focused on other ways of overcoming this poisonous feeling.
Quite often, when we hurt somebody, even if the victim of our action has forgiven us, we sometimes find it difficulty to forgive ourselves. This can sometimes apply when we hurt ourselves. Naturally, all the inflicted wounds cannot heal while we are still torturing ourselves with guilt and self-blame. Most unfortunately, an inability to forgive-either others or ourselves can be very detrimental to the realisation of our dreams and aspirations, because lack of forgiveness brings about hatred, and the latter gives rise to negative thoughts, which is one of the negative emotions, which obstructs imagination. Thus, aspirations and creativity will fly away beyond grasp.
Forgiveness involves both attitude and action. If you find it difficult to forgive yourself, just recall that you are just human, and are subject to making mistakes. Each time you commit an error, if you are to live with that guilt, it means, you only will live to think about guilt and self-blame.
The easiest strategy to apply to forgive yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings is to talk to yourself. When somebody offends you and you wish to reconcile, what do you normally do? I guess you usually create room for a dialogue with that person. Do the same with yourself; state clearly the reasons why you have to forgive yourself. You can even speak audibly. On doing this regularly, you will be very astonished to realise how relieved you will feel.
The second principle for handling guilt is to listen and heed to the advice of your loved ones whose opinions you cherish. Usually, their advice and actions would be based on their sincere love for you. In order words, their attitudes would be for your well-being.
The third technique has been mentioned already but deserves repeating here. It is for you to recognise the existence of human limitations. Whether you accept it or not, irrespective of how intelligent and wise you may be, you are never, and will never be perfect in all your words and actions. Hence, you are bound to be making mistakes. The most important thing is that, each time it occurs, you have to analyse it, correct it if possible, and look forward to the future.D. FOCUS ON THE BAD MEMORIESOne of the main reasons people are devastated during separation is because they often re-picture all the wonderful moments together, and are afraid that such opportunities will never come their way again. Is this fear usually realistic? Fortunately, the answer is no, for what awaits them in the future might even be better than that of the past.
The second question that is rarely asked is, in our relationships, do we only have fantastic times? Like the first question, the answer is no because sometimes, the black moments might have been very dark-some, very dark indeed. Quite often, the negative moments-though in some relationships appears less frequently than the good ones, but when surfaced, are very distressful.
Consequently, during separation-separations that are beyond retrieval, if people can pause a second, instead of concentrating their energy to remember the good times, they ponder over the bad moments, the situation would be less heartbreaking. I know that many people would disagree with me, for they will think that it would worsen the situation. I do not share their opinion because thinking of the bad moments, and seeing the separation as a liberating opportunity-in some cases they are, will surely give the feeling of relief and optimism. Hence, instead of fear, anger and bitterness, there will be the feeling of liberation and that of hope for the future. E. IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CARING ACTIVITIESAs previously stated, among other things, self-isolation and neglect generally characterised the period of separation. Very regrettably, this can intensify our negative feelings about the dilemma, prolong the period of suffering, and worsen the effects of the predicament. Conversely, the yoke of the torment of separation can be broken if the opposite attitude is adopted. In the deplorable circumstance that might confront us, which is not always easy, with determination, it is quite possible to overcome the trauma of this phenomenon, if the importance of the self-caring activities is realised. Below are some of the self-caring activities. 1. The company of good, sensitive, and caring friends-with their discussions and advises, you can be comforted and thereby be relieved from the negative emotions.2. Joining a group that relates to your passion could be relaxing; consequently, relieve you of your distress. 3. Join divorce's group, if there is one in your neighbourhood, because listening to others' experiences could make you to see things differently. You might even realise that your situation is better than most others. This discovery can give you a great relief. Besides, some advises given by the group could be priceless.4. If you are a Christian, attending church's services regularly and participating in church's activities can be very advantageous, because you are likely to meet somebody who will take interest in you and in your problem, or somebody who have gone through your experience. With his or her advice and concern, you will realise that, there is somebody who cares for you. This has a tremendous positive effect on your emotion. Among other things, church fellowship is to support each member, providing moral, material, and spiritual help whenever necessary. 5. During separation, with anger and bitterness, guilt and self-blame, frustration, fear, and other consequences mentioned previously, a lot of energy is consumed. The replenishing of this lost energy is very necessary. Hence, it is important for you to recognise that eating food of high nutritional values will enable you to achieve this objective, thereby making you to feel better. Conversely, inadequate or improper nourishment can intensify your emotional stress. Quite often, people undergoing separation lost appetite. If this is your case, just force yourself to eat, and eat well. F. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGSBirds sing of the glory, faithfulness, and the greatness of God. Ocean Flowers smile, expressing their joy and excitement for God's majesty and limitless love. All creatures-both great and small, except mankind express God's supremacy and care in one way or the other. Surprisingly, human is the only creature whose focus is directed only to their negative perspective.Generally, more than ninety per cent of our daily needs are granted. Very astonishingly, we often ignore this, but concentrate our thoughts and emotions on less than ten per cent that we lack. Does this not indicate our ungratefulness to God? I think it does; for, considering all that God has done for us, we suppose to always be happy and grateful for his generosity.
This also applies to your present condition. As much as I acknowledge the importance of a successful relationship to your life, I equally believe that there are other spheres of your life that God has blessed you enormously. These areas among others include: your children, your loved ones, your career, your daily needs, and most importantly, your health.
Do you realise that as you are reading these lines, there are hundreds of thousands of people in your country who are struggling with serious sicknesses, if not death? There is equally innumerable number of people who are anxiously praying for just some of the things that God has blessed you with. Do you think that you are better than them? If your answer is yes, I doubt that very much, except if you can say what you have done to deserve it.

All that you have, or are, God graciously give them to you, or make you who you are. As you are encountering this difficult period, or any other, just purse a second and think of everything that God has graciously blessed you with. Do not forget that, as long as there is life, there is always hope. So, before you allow the distress of separation to suppress you, and kill your dreams, just count all your blessings, and your blessing will abound. God bless you! ......................................................This article remains the property of its author.This article is an extract of a chapter from the author's book entitled, "Living Though Separation", which he's yet to find a publisher for its publication.To contact the author: edet.effiom@gmail.com