Reasons To Be Cheerful

This blog has moved

2012-08-29T18:36:00.000+01:00

For new blog posts catch them here. rosswagman.blogspot.com

Routirort

2012-02-17T23:21:00.001+00:00

This pic is taken on our travels to a wondrous part of the world.

The only clue you get as to where is that predictive text called it "Routirort"!

I entered the Flythomascook Photography Competition:

Anonymosity

2012-02-08T00:27:00.002+00:00

I've recently been reading the internet, in case you've missed it there's been some good stuff on it.

One of my favourite parts is the comment sections where people with no knowledge of anything will comment on a subject with a degree of confidence that eludes some of the most intelligent people on the planet.

Another interesting point is that some of these commentators will post anonymously, as though putting a name to their inanities may make it less meaningful. What encourages people to take ten minutes from their busy schedule and then comment that what they have read was pointless and they don't want to read anything like it again is beyond my simple mind.

I realise I very rarely post anything serious or of note to encourage comments, save for my occasional reminiscences of bygone Pizza Express pizzas so I am saved this particular internet oddity.

I do know some people who are the most mild mannered individuals you could ever meet yet put them in front of a computer screen and they argue with anyone about anything in the most vociferous (if you can be vociferous without speaking) manner.

So that's the internet for you, it's largely words and pictures in various forms and people with opinions about stuff that they mostly know nothing about, politics, relationships, medicine, history, religion, education, humour and fish.

Going Bo-Bos - Rhyming slang

2012-01-31T00:26:00.003+00:00

So an old British expression said to kids around bedtime is "going bobos" for going to sleep, now various sources around the internet seem to offer some strange origins of this expression. I have no firm knowledge or confirmation from any source but believe it to be from Cockney rhyming slang.

Bo Peep is rhyming slang for sleep, so "Bo Bos" derives from that, if you can't get to Bo Bos, try counting some sheep, it might help Little Bo Peep to know how many there are.

Here is Little Bo Peep, followed by her nursery rhyme

Little Bo peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
Leave them alone and they'll come home,
Bringing their tails behind them.
Little Bo peep fell fast asleep
And dreamt she heard them bleating,
But when she awoke, she found it a joke,
For they were all still fleeting.
Then up she took her little crook
Determined for to find them.
She found them indeed, but it made her heart bleed,
For they left their tails behind them.
It happened one day, as Bo peep did stray
Into a meadow hard by,
There she espied their tails side by side
All hung on a tree to dry.
She heaved a sigh, and wiped her eye,
And over the hillocks went rambling,
And tried what she could,
As a shepherdess should,
To tack again each to its lambkin.

Me Old China

2012-01-27T00:12:00.001+00:00

Step right this way for another bit of Cockney rhyming slang.

If you've ever seen your actual bona fide East End market stall (not the ones in Eastenders that sell fruit, flowers, CDs and occasionally clothes when they remember to stock it and who's running it) you may have seen a stall with a bit of crockery and a nice chap at the back stamping "China" on the bottom of them, as he sells you a genuine authentic piece of replica Wedgewood and hands it to you in a carrier bag that probably won't make it all the way home and you'll have to go back and get another one, he may say

"There you go me old china"

He isn't actually referring to the China but he is using a piece of Cockney rhyming slang for the word "mate", yes, China = China plate = mate.

Here is a piece of China with a couple of very close Chinas on

This very important entry was brought to you with the letter C and the number 7.

Cockney rhyming slang - tea strainers

2012-01-22T15:47:00.003+00:00

A recent point of interest on BBC Radio 2's Ken Bruce Show has been about Cockney rhyming slang for shoes being "tea drinkers", despite the more valiant attempt of listeners to get a meaning from this, my genetically Cockney mind said that the person who said this has their rhyming slang in a tangle.

Tea strainers is indeed Cockney rhyming slang, so here's a pair

If you do choose to buy a pair of tea strainers and you are being served by a Cockney you are likely to get a pair of trainers and not a pair of tea strainers. As interchangeable objects you may be on tricky ground, whilst it may be possible to make a cup of tea in a pair of Reeboks, I'd definitely struggle getting my size 10s in a tea strainer.

Peter Sellers' A Hard Day's Night

2012-01-21T21:49:00.000+00:00

Beatles' producer George Martin had been producing comedy albums for EMI prior to working with The Beatles. He had worked with Peter Sellers and subsequently Sellers recorded a number of comedy versions of Beatles records, including his Shakespearean rendition of A Hard Day's Night, it was much better than my own attempt at soliloquising Eleanor Rigby 45 years later of which there are no recordings.

Cockney Rhyming Slang - On your tod

2011-12-26T00:17:00.001+00:00

Being on one's tod is to be alone, this derives from Cockney rhyming slang.

James Forman Sloan was known by the name Tod, born in 1874 he was a world famous horse racing jockey with great successes on both sides of the Atlantic.

Born in the USA his successes there led to his demand in England where he rode horses for the then Prince of Wales and had victories in the 1000 and 2000 guineas, the Gold Cup and the St. Leger, the only major race to elude him was the Derby.

Such was his success in the UK that George M. Cohan wrote a musical about him, Sloan being immortalized as the character Little Johnny Jones who was the "Yankee Doodle Boy" of the famous song.

In 1915 Sloan wrote an autobiography "Tod Sloan By Himself", whether the title of the book came before or after the rhyming slang is not clear, although if it was after I'd have called the book "Tod Sloan, on his tod".

and Here's Mickey Rooney singing Yankee Doodle Boy

The Wombles

2011-12-24T13:34:00.000+00:00

My knowledge of The Wombles is limited to the TV series of the 1970s and the songs of Mike Batt, I may have read the original novels written by Elizabeth Beresford, but the voice of Bernard Cribbins and the catchy tunes are more vivid in my memory than the books. I even went to see them live in concert in Wimbledon AND I had an Orinoco suit.

According to her page on Wikipedia Beresford grew up surrounded by some of the greatest writers of all time, who were friends of her parents (also writers), HG Wells, DH Lawrence, Somerset Maugham, George Bernard Shaw are amongst those listed.

The TV series were narrated and all the characters voiced by Bernard Cribbins, there were 60 5 minute episodes made, the narration style, with Cribbins telling the stories and being the characters seems quite primitive in times of CGI, yet it gives some truth to The Wombles ability to create things from what they find, a slick cartoon effect would not feel right for The Wombles, the stop go animation is perfect. The later 1990s series had countless voice artists and writers and may not have had the feel of the original, but the characters proved popular and a further 52 episodes were made.

Mike Batt's music for the show has remained popular to this day with albums still being released and even an appearance at Glastonbury. The songs were big sellers on release in the 70s, with several top 40 hits. Sadly Mike Batt rarely works with the Wombles these days preferring to count the bicycles in Beijing.

Elizabeth Beresford and Great Uncle Bulgaria

So here is a bit of Wombles, wishing you a Wombling Merry Christmas and an episode following.

Friendly policeman on duty in Poundworld

2011-12-22T17:56:00.001+00:00

So Christmas is a busy time of the year for cardboard cut out policemen.

Hopefully I'm not giving any security issues away.

Given that he is a cardboard cutout, I wondered why he couldn't look a little more sinister, or even why he needed to be a policeman, they could have had a cyberman, Darth Vader, Phil Mitchell, Anne Widdecombe or Dr. Price, my old French teacher, he used to terrify me.

Famous Christmas songs by Jewish songwriters: Winter Wonderland

2011-12-15T00:23:00.001+00:00

In a new and probably short lived series of bloggery, comes Christmas songs by Jewish songwriters.

The American Jewish songwriters seemed quite happy to pen a song on any subject matter, so Christmas was always going to get a look in, some of the most celebrated Christmas songs were written by some of the greatest songwriters who happened to be Jewish.

The Jewish Felix Bernard, co wrote Winter Wonderland with Richard B. Smith (religion unknown!). He was born in Brooklyn, New York and was the son of German and Russian immigrant parents.

So wander through this Winter Wonderland with Tony Bennett

The Fivepenny Piece's Weight Watchers

2011-12-11T18:44:00.001+00:00

Long before Sarah Ferguson had become a spokesperson for Weight Watchers, there was a song by Lancashire singing outfit The Fivepenny Piece.

My parents loved this group, they were fun and funny. Their folk music style was pretty popular with songs of Lancashire and Lancashire folk, they were doing for Lancashire what Chas & Dave were doing for London. Songs of Fred Fanakapan, I'm in Love with Angela Rippon, I'm Powfagged, Stalybridge Market were part of their popular touring shows.

A later addition was this undervalued gem, Weight Watchers ("I LIKE CHIPS")

Giving my arse an headache

2011-12-05T21:59:00.001+00:00

Just watching the semi final of the Junior Apprentice and during Lord Sugar's summing up, for some reason an old expression my dad used to use came to mind "you're giving my arse an headache". I actually thought my dad had made it up until I heard it used in an episode of Only Fools and Horses. If you hadn't worked it out it is used when someone has a touch of verbal diarrhoea.

Bernard Cribbins' Right Said Fred

2011-12-03T17:24:00.001+00:00

Like quite a lot of classic British comedy songs Right Said Fred was produced by The Beatles' producer George Martin.

The removal men in the song are reminiscent of Laurel & Hardy's delivery men in their Oscar winning film The Music Box.

The now iconic star Bernard Cribbins had a hit with the song in 1962, it spawned the name of the pop group Right Said Fred. Cribbins has been in a Dr. Who film and the TV series, an episode of Fawlty Towers, narrated the Wombles, three Carry On films (yes I included Columbus), he was even the voice of Tufty on the road safety ads.

Anyway Right Said Fred, here's an animated version in Lego!

Catching Genumphs with Chic Murray

2011-11-27T13:09:00.001+00:00

I'm currently reading about the comedy giant that was Chic Murray. I'm sure there will be a post about him over on my comedy bio blog.

I've known some of his material and his act, but this gave a good workout to my chuckle muscle.

"I saw a wee man jumping up and down, clapping his hands together, I went over and asked him what he was doing, he said "I'm trying to catch Genumphs", so I said to him "What's Genumphs?" he said "I don't know I haven't caught any yet".

Thank You Very Much - for the Aintree iron, birds and bees and love

2011-11-24T22:09:00.001+00:00

I write this on Thanksgiving day in the USA. Whilst I've been in the US and shared some special Thanksgiving days with my wife and her family it is a day that is hard to get. After all the British much prefer to say 'sorry' than thank-you.

The rather spiffing 1960s Liverpool trio of Roger McGough, Mike McGear and John Gorman, The Scaffold said it quite well in their song "Thank You Very Much".

The list of things to be thankful for being the Aintree iron (apparently writer Mike McGear has no idea what that is), birds and bees, the family circle, Sunday joint, cultural heritage, some other stuff and love.

So here's the song and me giving thanks for love, birds and bees, my growing new family circle and my missus

NHS hospital in association with Coca-cola

2011-11-22T19:00:00.002+00:00

Obviously not a reason to be cheerful. One of the biggest causes of obesity, diabetes and countless other ailments, manages to have pride of place in an NHS hospital.
I'm not sure if it's one step up or down from having a doctor sponsored by a tobacco company.
If we want to educate on healthy eating and drinking, surely hospitals should lead by example and have healthy food and drink?

Fred Karno

2011-11-22T00:25:00.000+00:00

For the last few days I've been strangely fascinated by Fred Karno. I say strangely as I've known about Karno for some years. He was responsible for Stan Laurel and Charlie Chaplin going to America and for their early comedy education, both gave him credit for much of their early comedy knowledge.

Yet researching Max Miller, I saw Karno's name as having worked with Miller in the 1920s. The two men didn't particularly get along and Karno had an interesting take on how to keep dancing girls smiling when they were on stage. I have also read of Karno's casting couch, but he was a fair bit more than that too. By the time Max Miller came across him Karno had been one of the wealthiest men in the country, he'd bought an island, built an entertainment complex and casino on it (Karsino). He spent £20,000 in 1912 on a boat that is used today as a recording studio by Dave Gilmour!

In 1926 he was declared bankrupt and penniless he started again. Married with 8 children Karno had a mistress for 25 years who he also called his wife. He even crossed the Atlantic and Chaplin tried to find him work, which he eventually found with the help of Stan Laurel at The Hal Roach Studios. Karno wasn't happy with not having things done his way and ended up going back home and back in the theatre and eventually making some films there, which were again the ruin of him.

He ended up his days running an off-licence after a donation from Charlie Chaplin to fund the operation.

An amazing career that had started in the circus as an acrobat, he had runaway to join the circus after failing to become a plumber.

I'm sure I've got a more accurate post in this fascinating character. It seems odd that the last book about him was written 40 years ago and there doesn't seem to have been any great film portrayal other than in films about Chaplin (John Thaw played Karno in "Chaplin").

Bobbins - Cockney rhyming slang

2011-11-20T23:28:00.000+00:00

I've known the word "bobbins" for quite a while. It is largely used in the North of England and the wondrously crazy Frank Sidebottom used to say it a lot.

Frank Sidebottom, he's just seen something bobbins.

Bobbins means anything of a poor quality, but the root of the word is in Cockney rhyming slang, here's a clue.

Bobbins of cotton is rhyming slang for rotten, which is odd as bobbins are "reely" good.

Laurel & Hardy in Politics

2011-11-19T14:17:00.000+00:00

With thanks to The Laurel & Hardy Forum.
A recent thread discussed Laurel & Hardy's (lack of) politics. Perhaps them not having any clear political thoughts (as for the characters in the films, no clear thoughts) has led to newspapers and political parties using their image to lampoon politicians. Over 60 years after their last film they still get wheeled out to mock the politicians of the day (usually over economic failings).
The first two are from the US, the rest British politicians, from PM John Major onwards. Given what a good Stan Laurel George W. Bush makes I'm surprised that was the only one I could find.

Wilson, Keppel and Betty

2011-11-16T22:04:00.000+00:00

Wilson, Keppel and Betty were a music hall act, who had success on both sides of the Atlantic.. Jack Wilson and Joe Keppel were born in Ireland and England respectively in the 1890s.

Whether their act would have got past the first stages of Britain's Got Talent is debatable, but they certainly had a staying power in a career that lasted 35 years and up to a dozen Bettys, a residency at the London Palladium and several Royal Command Performances.

Their act consisted of them dressing as Egyptians and performing variations on a sand dance. At the height of Variety, they were an ideal speciality act, bridging the comics and the singers.

To experience this legendary act, have a butcher's at this

The Trail Of The Lonesome Pine

2011-11-13T21:13:00.000+00:00

In the blue ridge mountains of Virginia, Ballard MacDonald wrote the lyrics and Harry Carroll the tune to a song that was a top ten British hit in 1975 for Laurel & Hardy, it had appeared in arguably Laurel & Hardy's greatest feature film Way Out West in 1937. The song had previously been the title to a film and a play dating back to 1913. The singer is pining for what would appear to be the love of a summer romance.

In the Laurel & Hardy film, Oliver Hardy picks up the singing of the song as the tune is played by the wonderfully named Chill Wills in a saloon bar, Stan Laurel decides to join in and irritate poor old Mr. Hardy. Here's a clip that you can sing along to yourself.

Thanks for waiting

2011-11-11T01:04:00.001+00:00

As if by magic, about 18 months ago Marks and Spencer checkout staff started each customer with the phrase "thanks for waiting" a nice enough gesture if there had been something of a wait, a bit pointless when you were buying one sandwich and there was no one in front of you and you hadn't been waiting. The next words in the one sandwich situation, "do you need any help with your packing?", "not unless both my arms have just fallen off".

So it would appear that the pointlessness of apologising to someone for waiting when they haven't been waiting has not been lost and now they have stopped saying it, altogether. They now don't say it when you've been waiting for 20 minutes because they can't work out if the coupon to save 20p is a valid one or not and spend ten minutes checking it out.

It's a customer service dilemma in the UK, we really don't know how to be nice to customers, that's not to say service is inherently bad, an average shop assistant is generally helpful and polite, even in the US they aren't always tip top. Yet the culture between the US and the UK is totally different. In a US supermarket I was politely reprimanded for packing a shopping bag myself, I've never known of anyone in the UK voluntarily packing groceries, "do you need any help with your packing?", should be rephrased as "you DON'T need help with your packing, do you? if you do I may be able to find someone who will grudgingly do it, whilst staring at you wondering why you can't do it yourself, sir".

With the advent of the internet and review websites, customer service in general is starting to improve, whether we can get it as a culture will probably take a few more generations. Basil Fawlty was written as a man who was happier when he didn't have any guests staying at his hotel, the guests were always a hindrance, we seem to have moved a bit on that, perhaps we could start to teach staff to use stock phrases at appropriate times rather than learning them and saying them every time or not at all.

The weighty topic of the weight of toilet rolls

2011-11-10T11:20:00.001+00:00

In a world where bidets have now been forgotten and newspapers dwindle away it would seem that we take for granted the humble toilet roll.

According to Wikipedia using toilet paper dates back to 6th century China. Modern toilet paper was introduced to the US by the rather charmingly named Joseph Gayetty. Colours and varieties only came into prominence in the 1960s and 1970s.

So recently the last couple of lots of store brand product I have purchased have both had perforation issues, now why the perforations are for such small sheets is beyond me, who uses but one sheet at a time anyway? I've not a problem if they perforate 4 times less than they do now, just perforate so that when I tear I don't end up looking like the human version of the Andrex puppy.

So I reverted to Andrex, arguably the brand leader and on this occasion on a decent offer. So I selected the two above, I'm sure one won't match the bathroom decor but I have no plans to decorate with it. The strange fact with the two packs is that one is at least a third heavier than the other, yet they are the same number of rolls and sheets on each. The one on the right is infused with Shea Butter (I haven't really got a clue, but it sounds good, nothing to do with Shea stadium as I understand), the one on the left is plain white comfort quilt. So obviously the one infused with the shea butter is the heavy one right? Well no (and I'm sure you guessed by my clunking attempt at tabloid journalism there), the infusion of shea butter only seems to serve as making the tissue lighter. Now I can't decide which is better to use, lighter or heavier.

I'm now quite impressed that I haven't resorted to anything even slightly rude with this post, no shit.

Now here's an ad for shea butter Andrex featuring the puppy, who judging by the packs actually prefers the quilted as he looks kind of bored on the shea butter, but no matter.

The unhealthy world of NHS hospitals

2011-11-09T23:49:00.001+00:00

I've unfortunately spent more time than most in hospitals, mostly as a visitor, my dad especially spent over 6 months as a patient and I was his only daily visitor, sometimes spending several hours there.

There are an amazing amount of stupid things that happen, in that period I witnessed a cleaner who seemed to only appear on a Friday afternoon, his modus operandi was to mop the floor and while it was drying to then take a sweeping brush and sweep the floor he had just mopped! Fire hoses that may or may not have worked but were probably 30 years old or more and had layers of dust that were probably the same age. Alcoholic handwash is all very well, but surely ceiling tiles with a 12" square patch of green mould is probably more risky to patients and the public than anything else.

My main point of this topic now is the entrance to hospital, one of the first things to notice (after you get through the half dozen smokers outside) is a sign with direction to vending machines, the sign has a large advertising logo for Coca-Cola and points to vending machines selling the soft drink and the one above, full of confectionery. I'm not totally against these items in general use, but surely a hospital of all places should encourage some healthy eating, fruit perhaps, vegetable snacks in fact anything remotely healthy. Given that one of the biggest causes of health problems in the world is diabetes, and a personal estimate would be that at least a third of hospital patients would be diabetic, a major factor being what people drink, be they high or low sugar drinks. Research is now starting to show that diet drinks can be worse for diabetics than high sugar ones. I am by no means an expert, my dad had long term complications from diabetes, kidney failure, vascular problems, mood swings, blindness and ultimately death, so I have personal experience and researched some of the problems he had and their causes.

The diabetic recruitment drive doesn't end there. Having visited the pre-natal department in the same hospital, there is a wall devoted to statistics on diabetes and dietary advice as to how best avoid it, yet in the same department is a volunteer canteen, who's offerings are cakes, sweets, chocolates, crisps, coca-cola and other sugar drinks, in fact general diabetic recruiting products, I wasn't initially inspecting what they sold, I was looking for a healthy snack to eat, there wasn't one, nothing for expectant mothers (or fathers!).

Perhaps the managers of the hospital would argue that people don't want healthy food, maybe they have sold carrots or celery sticks and they have gone to waste, but that really isn't good enough, a hospital should only have healthy food, their staff and patients should only eat healthy foods, there shouldn't be any other option. Hospitals should lead the way in healthy eating, leading by example would surely save money long term, 'training' patients to eat well whilst in hospital may lead to them eating well outside and mean no return visits.

An association with Coca-cola, even in a tentative manner is not too far removed from being sponsored by Benson & Hedges.