Brutal Honesty

Children in public places

2010-03-16T10:11:00.000-05:00

Oh wow. This article debating whether children should be allowed in public places (airplanes, restaurants) made me mad. Really, really mad. It is amazing how intolerant people are of children. Hello? Every one of us was a child at one point.

*warning - rant coming*

I lived nearly 30 years with no children, and I don't remember being so obnoxiously opposed to children. What are parents expected to do? Lock ourselves in our house until the children are 30 years old? How would they learn socially appropriate behavior if they don't have opportunities to practice?

The majority of the time my children are reasonably well behaved in public. But there are times when I swear to you, I am doing everything I can and they are just unruly. THEY ARE KIDS. The problem is, it is often unpredictable, so I may think they are going to be well behaved in the restaurant, yet all hell breaks loose when we get there. I take my children outside if weather permits, or to the restroom. In extreme cases, I've taken them out to the car. However, there are some instances where this would be a very difficult solution.

Prime Example:

I have a stay-at-home mom friend who was hugely pregnant and took her 3-year-old to the post office with her because she needed to get a gift in the mail. After standing in line for more than 30 minutes (all the while, her 3-year-old behaved), the child decided to pitch a major fit right when it was her turn at the counter. She figured she would just hurry up and get her business done. Here she is, tired, pregnant, embarrassed, and what happens? Strangers start telling her how she should handle her child, criticizing her, and glaring at her.

You know what, I can't tell you how many times I've seen full grown adults behave way worse than any child. Why are they allowed to go to restaurants and fly on planes?

In the article above, it is debated whether airline passengers should have to tolerate babies crying or kids being unruly. So, if I agree that passengers shouldn't have to tolerate this, then my children won't ever see my husband's family? Or if I fly with them, I should take two children to the tiny bathroom and lock myself in there with them?

For what it is worth, when we fly our children are very well behaved 95% of the time. We keep them entertained, fed, and we pace with them in the aisles if they are restless. However, there have been a couple of instances when I couldn't do anything - once was during descent when I wasn't allowed to get out of my seat and the baby had a wet diaper - she was a little fussy. I guess the freaking air marshall should have arrested us.

Let's have a debate about why adults shouldn't be allowed on flights:

They fart and it is permeates the entire plane in a very disgusting manner. I DON'T WANT TO BREATHE YOUR POOP PARTICLES!!
They drink too much and talk too loudly.
They lean their chairs back even though I already can taste the coffee that spilled on my pants (since my knees are crammed in my face).
They take my arm rest. It is clearly MY armrest.
They treat the flight attendants like crap. "Raddy, raddy, rah. Hmpf. Look at me, I'm Mr. Important Business Person, so I should be allowed to do whatever I want and you should be at my beckon call."
They have temper tantrums when they don't get their way (e.g., asked to turn off cell phone during takeoff).

So, Mr. or Ms. Obnoxious Adult, why don't you put yourself in timeout in the disgusting, smelly bathroom?

What do you all think?

How do you feel about children in public places?

What is your limit on what is reasonable to expect from children? What are the exceptions (certain circumstances)?

What do adults do in public that you think is worse than what children do?

I like this short but effective article about children's behavior in public. The gist is that it is about balancing the child's needs and the need to teach them appropriate behavior with the needs of the general public. One doesn't trump the other, but both needs are important.

Spanx are for kids, silly rabbit!

2010-03-15T17:22:00.000-05:00

Hey, hey, hey! Thanks to Cool Mom Picks, I've discovered a solution to the "Waaahh...I want to wear a dress to school today!" battle that happens ~~every morning~~ occasionally in our house. Check out these bloomers for kids:

My first thought when I saw these was "hey, I need a pair of those!" And then I realized I have a pair. They are called Spanx. And they most certainly are not for hanging upside down on the monkey bars. Although Katie Holmes might have seemed a lot cooler if she had been wearing a pair of violet knickers instead of Spanx in this photo:

By the way, that is TOTALLY what I look like in my Spanx.

You know I never want to make my male readers feel left out, so please, guys, go out and get yourself a pair of the Spanx for men. They call it "man Spanx." Oh, that is rich. You will absolutely look like this if you do:

OMG, that is almost as funny as the men's swimsuit option I posted on my shopping blog. Seriously, guys, leave the vain self-obsession stuff to us.

More Travel Tips for Families

2010-03-12T10:16:00.001-06:00

We are getting ready to get a passport for our newest edition. Our eldest got her passport around 4 months of age, and her picture looks like a little bald shaolin monk. M's picture will be pretty similar. I'm thinking of braiding her baby mullet to add to the effect.

Here are some pretty good travel sites with tips for families, courtesy of Delicious Baby blog.

The New Cat

2010-03-07T08:02:00.000-06:00

Today's post features a guest writer, my sister M. "D" is her husband and "B" is her one-year-old son. Enjoy!

D has been begging me for a cat since we got married 5 1/2 years ago. I have basically said no every time he asks for a different reason... we live in an apartment, I'm allergic, we have a dog, we have a baby, we have a 1 year old and a dog, etc. He brings it up every few months.

Well, yesterday he called me at work. "Hey honey.... Ummm... Well... I sorta.... well... er..." (I'm imagining that he wrecked the car or lost our son or something) "I found a cat and I brought it home."

So the story goes like this...
He goes to drop B off at daycare and there is a lonely, pitiful cat in the parking lot. It looks abandoned. It was running under the cars, etc. So, D goes in and leaves B. When he comes out the cat is still there. So all the mom's are like "oooooh you should take it home.... it's probably been abandoned". According to D it was a match made in heaven and the cat came right to him. D says, "Ok, get in the car" and opens the door. Cat jumps in and off they go. By the way... they're in MY CAR.

I tell him, "well you better take it to the vet. It might have fleas or something." Not only does it have fleas, but it has ear mites. $250 later we have shots, flea treatment, ear mite treatment, a cage, litter box, food, and a little house.

I come home to find this cat in the basement living like Snoop dog. Heater, blanket, it's own lamp, bed, a flat screen, a bumper sticker that says "I love cats" with paws on it. You get the picture.

Now we both start itching and are a bit paranoid. D woke me up at 3am to ask if cat lice could be transmitted to humans. I told him to go back to bed. (I started itching, but didn't want to encourage delusions of parasitosis).

Ok, to today I go downstairs to get on the treadmill at 5:30. The cat dumped over the litter box, puked in the cage, and "went" everywhere except in the litter. It's hiding under the little yellow house.

I go about my business, get on the treadmill and text D. "Your cat needs you." It meows loudly the entire mile I ran, almost making me fall off the treadmill. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!

Eventually, D came down and cleaned everything up.

I went to work and got a text this afternoon. "The cat had a miscarriage".

WHAT?

D took a sample of cat poop to the vet to get tested. She has a tapeworm. Big surprise by now. So he goes back home to get the cat to take back to the vet to get treated for this worm infestation and finds a fetus in the cage.

Loads up the cat and fetus... back to the vet. The baby is 6 weeks old and didn't survive. There will probably be more. So far... 1 more, also didn't make it.

So in case you lost track... in 24 hours that is...
Fleas
Ear mites
Tapeworm
Miscarriage x 2 (as I recall the average litter is 4-6, with up to 18 or so possible)
Destroyed cage, litter box, cat house, and numerous towels.

D wants to know if he can just put the towels in the washer on HOT. Ummm.... no. Not in my washer. Throw those away.

Sigh.

Anybody want a cat?

How to be a happier parent

2010-03-04T09:18:00.000-06:00

I saw this article on yahoo today and just had to take a break from my usual silly banter to post something a bit more serious. I really like simplicity in parenting advice, as the whole 40-step, barter and hold, dance a jig crap is just far too complicated for me.

The authors posit that you should ask yourselves two questions:

1. When are you happiest with your kids?

For me, this is definitely during the wind down part of the evening, when we are cuddling in bed together, reading a story, or talking about our days. There is nothing sweeter in life than these moment.

2. What part of the normal day with your family routinely causes suffering?

The one that seems to cause problems consistently is getting ready in the morning. Oh, the drama. I've tried prepping the night before, etc. but there is some drama that we just can't seem to get past.

Evening mealtime can also be a bit frustrating.

By the way, I think they are relevant even if you don't have children. The answers to these questions could help make life in general a little easier.

What about you? How would you answer these questions?

Post Partum Weight Loss

2010-03-02T15:57:00.000-06:00

I've been MIA for awhile. Part of it is my extreme grouchiness from eating only 1200 calories of cardboard a day. Part is writer's block. Part is the deafening silence that is the "no comment" zone - you bunch of lurkers, you. Can't I shame you in to responding?

Oh boo-hoo. This weight loss topic is certainly soooo overdone. But I'm going to wade in anyway. I've been on Nutrisystem since about 8 weeks post partum, and it has helped but man does this suck. If I see one more picture of a celebrity in a string bikini holding her newborn baby, I'm going to puke. Seriously. If you really look like that right after having a baby, just keep it to yourself.

I think this topic is also relevant for (most) men as well, since the guys seem to pack on a few pounds during pregnancy as well (except my husband, who looks like one of the Olsen twins).

(Which reminds me, sometime I need to post about the freaking Hungry Man dinners he used to eat in the middle of the night).

So ladies and gents, want to fess up about how much weight you gained during pregnancy, and how long it took you to lose it?

A similar post with many more comments than I'll ever generate can be found on this blog.

Anyone have a violin to play "My Heart Bleeds for You?"

Nighttime Escapades

2010-02-18T16:52:00.000-06:00

It is like a live with a coke addict. Seriously. Who wakes up at 3 in the freaking morning and wants to have a "dress-up party?" WHAT??? IT IS THREE IN T-H-E M-O-R-N-I-N-G.

But there she is, naked as a jaybird (I don't even know what that means), standing on her bed, screaming, wanting to put her "fancy dress" on. Not once. Not twice. Not three times. I don't even know how many times. We lost count.

And this is in between the baby waking up crying. Baby cries, go get her, get her back to sleep. Crazy lunatic three-year-old screams. Go get her, somehow manage not to wring her neck, put her back in bed. Baby cries. And on. And on. And on.

Oh, the joy.

That Hurt my Feelings Mr. Urban Outfitter T Shirt Designer Guy

2010-02-01T08:00:00.002-06:00

Do you think I'm too sensitive? I stumbled on this t-shirt when I accidentally fell on my keyboard and it somehow brought up a shopping website. Anyway, I took the t-shirt personally? Do you think Mr. Urban Outfitter designer read my blog? Could he be one of my 7 followers? *sob*

Proof that there is no hope for me to be funny. Ever.

2010-01-31T19:27:00.000-06:00

Because when my cousin, who has a Ph.D. in MATH for crying out loud (or something like that, sorry Dave) is this funny, there is NO CHANCE I"ll be even remotely amusing. Ever. What math genius have you ever met who is funny?

And I'm not a genius about anything (except reality t.v., but I'm not sure if that would win me anything on the Miss America talent contest) so I don't even have that going for me.

So Dave writes this hilarious post and e-mails it to my family.

My mom responds:

"Leave it to Dave to get a smile on your face!!! Honey you missed your calling. Not sure what your calling is by the way. BTW did you have anything to do with the poor stuffed sheep that had its ears pinned together and a knife strapped to its waist?
love
Aunt Marilyn"

Dave's reply:

"Poor Sheep? (you'll have to upload a photo, so the others know what we're talking about)

That, my dear, is a Samurai Sheepkin, most feared of all bucolic beasts. It will watch your house while you're gone. Just leave it some sushi once in a while. With lots of seaweed.

dave."

Valentine's Day - What a Farce

2010-01-30T21:43:00.001-06:00

I only say that because it makes me feel better about myself when my oh-so-practical "look at me, I was raised in a third world country, so I'm too good for frivolous stuff" husband doesn't buy me any Valentine's Day gifts.

He tells me every year: "Every day with me is Valentine's Day."

It wouldn't be so freaking irritating if it weren't kind of true. Great, he reads this and I'm never going to get Manolo shoes after admitting that.

It is kind of like my birthday, when he tells me: "When I was a kid in Vietnam, no one remembered my birthday. The only present I ever got was water. To put on my dirt and make mud."

*yawn*

Not that I'm getting that scrooge anything either.

But for the rest of you lucky morons, check out my shopping site, The Shopping Guru, for gift suggestions. And no, I wouldn't mind at all if you bought me one of the things I suggested. By all means.

TLC's A Baby Story

2010-01-27T12:50:00.000-06:00

I was flipping through the channels the other evening and saw A Baby Story. It reminded me of an interesting (it is interesting because I say so) observation I had recently. Because I'm like the best observer of stuff ever. Anyway, I noticed that show is only interesting when you JUST had a baby. Like the first two or three weeks after you had a baby.

When you are pregnant, you would think this would be a fun show to watch. Nope. No interest in getting more detail about the ~~horror~~ (oops, that is totally counter to my hypnobabies training) amazing thing that is about to happen to me.

About two weeks post partum, you realize that the whole baby birthing thing doesn't hold quite the same fascination as it did in the moments following your own experience. Shocking.

Uh-oh, does this mean all of you have the same reaction to my stupid mumblings about parenting?

Don't answer that.

Brief Hiatus

2010-01-19T10:28:00.000-06:00

I am taking a little hiatus to enjoy time with my extended family. We will be mourning the loss of our amazing, beautiful grandmother. At the same time, we will be enjoying memories of her and will be cherishing our time together, which she would love.

Haiti Earthquake - How to Help

2010-01-14T11:07:00.001-06:00

I'm sure many of you are haunted by the images from Haiti and wondering how in the world you could do anything to help them. Please don't stay immobilized. Every little bit helps. Thanks to the blog Ask Moxie for this post on simple ways to help:

The easiest way to help is to text the word YELE to 501501 and a US$5 donation will be made to Yele Haiti, Wyclef Jean's foundation, with the money billed to your next mobile phone bill.

You can also donate through the Red Cross, either at redcross.orgor by texting the word HAITI to 90999 to have a US$10 donation made to the Red Cross International Relief Fund.

You can also donate through the Mercy Corps: https://donate.mercycorps.org/donation.htm?DonorIntent=Haiti+Earthquake

Cool Mom Picks offers other suggestions in this post.

Good Comebacks for when People Say Dumb Sh...Stuff

2010-01-06T09:35:00.007-06:00

My husband, T, is the king of comebacks. You know why? Because he really, REALLY doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him. Me? I’m terrible. I’m that person who thinks of the comeback two or three hours later. The only time I was remotely good at it was when I was pregnant and grumpy.
You know what people say the dumbest things about? Pregnancy, post-partum stuff, parenting, and other people’s relationships. What do these things have in common? They are NONE OF YOUR DARN BUSINESS.
Some of my favorite stupid things people have said [these are real; names changed to protect identity] and my suggested comebacks:
“Oh my, your little Bobby is such a brat. I don’t know what you are doing wrong. My daughter, Susie’s little boy is such an angel.”
Yeah, I trust your judgment ‘cause you did such a fabulous job raising Susie.
Oh, Bobby only acts like that when we don’t give him his daily dose of marijuana.
“You look good. Your belly is getting smaller. But I’m not saying your skinny. You left your days of being hot behind in college.”
At least I got to experience being hot. You poor ugly idiot.
“You are definitely a lot bigger than last time [you were pregnant].”
You are also a lot bigger than….oops. Sorry about that.
“You should bite him [your son] back when he bites you.”
How about I bite you, you moron?
And the classic dumb comment, said to a newly married couple: “When are you going to start having kids?”
For the comebacks to this classic, I must once again credit my newly married colleague, Jay L. His suggestions are much better than mine:
When they relax the child labor laws.
About 9 months and 15 minutes from now. Will you excuse us?
We'd like to, but there was this bowling accident a few years ago...
As you can see, mine are pretty lame compared to Jay's. Help me out, whatcha got for comebacks?

The Globe Guardian has some doozies.

Aunt Kay [aka, “The Light”], if you are reading I know you will respond with something like “Sweetie, take the high road and just tell them how wonderful they are. Thank them for the advice and go on your merry way.” If I promise to do that and just think these great comebacks, will you forgive me?

How can our 3-year-old be smarter than us?

2010-01-02T16:42:00.002-06:00

Exhibit A: cookie versus popsicle

In our household, we have the [loosely enforced] rule that treats are only allowed on the weekend. Also, she is only allowed one treat after each meal, totaling one treat after dinner on Friday, three treats on Saturday and three on Sunday. Simple, right? Easy to enforce, right?

So 45-year-old man of the world picks up his daughter from school on Friday.

From the back seat in a voice that could melt butter: “Daddy, can I have a cookie and a popsicle tonight?”

Daddy: “No, you can only have one treat. Which would you like?”

“I think I would like a popsicle. I’ll share it with you, daddy.” [cue big smile and doe eyes]

Oblivious, ~~stupid~~ daddy answers, so proud that his daughter is finally grasping the concept of sharing: “Aww…thanks sweetie. I’d love to have some of your popsicle.”

“You can have a cookie for your treat, okay daddy?”

This is the moment when daddy loses focus, like a cop in a bad 80s movie whose poor partner [played by a no-name actor] is about to get shot.

Now half paying attention, daddy mumbles: “Okay sweetie.”

“And you will share your cookie with me, right daddy?”

Oops.

New blog for shopping tips/favorite things

2009-12-31T18:30:00.002-06:00

Most of the search engine traffic I get on this blog is a result of searches like "initial jewelry for moms" and "favorite gifts." Therefore, I've decided to create a separate blog, The Shopping Guru, for sharing my favorite things/shopping tips. I just started this one, and will be adding to it very soon. If you'd like to follow that blog, please visit the site and select a method for following (e-mail, reader, Google Friend Connect). Thanks so much for reading!

Mall Madness

2009-12-31T16:41:00.002-06:00

Here comes another stupid parenting moment. I get dumber by the day, I swear.

I thought it was a terrific idea (do all my posts start this way?) to take both children to the mall.

When the youngest was 6 weeks old.

During the Christmas shopping rush.

In the evening, when all the nutty after work gotta-buy-something-that-not-even-a-starving-child-in-Africa-would-like suburban Christmas shoppers are at their most crazed peak.

And by the way, we forgot to bring one of those baby carriers that all the used-to-be-cool young parents wear, all shred of dignity finally relinquished as we walk begrudgingly down the aisles hoping maybe the cool kids will think baby wearing is a new fashion statement, like Flavor Flav’s clock necklace.

We also forgot the doubles attachment for our other fashion statement, the ultra-cool Phil and Ted’s double stroller (not to be confused with Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, though I’m pretty sure Keanu Reeves could use an adult stroller to relax in while he gets high).

But we are over confident parents of two, and we keep trying to convince ourselves that we are really good at this parenting thing. When we’ve had a couple of glasses of wine and the kids are in bed (while we watch Antiques Roadshow, because we’re cool like that) we are especially confident about this.

So we decide to let one parent shop while the other stays at the kid’s play area with two children.

Let me just skip to the punch line, because this post is getting long and you can probably guess what is coming.

You’ve seen those bug-eyed lunatic moms pinning their helpless innocent children to the wall right out in the middle of a crowded public place while screaming something pointless that clearly isn’t helping, like “If you don’t stop it right now I’m going to find your Daddy, leave you with him, and go have myself a stiff drink, you hear me you little runt?” You know those horrible moms, right?

Well that wasn’t me. I handled the not listening and running off down the crowded mall aisle while I high-tail it after you as fast as I can [given my post baby girth and the constant tripping on the floor length giant sweater thing I wear to cover my fat] with my newborn baby dangling off one arm wailing with the grace and ease of Mary Poppins.

Blogging and Google Reader

2009-12-31T08:58:00.004-06:00

Since I know my dear mother and father read this diligently, as do other members of my loyal family, I thought it might be helpful to provide a little bit of information about blogging and other technology tips. I know this is probably the first blog some of you (hi mom) ever read, so I thought it might be helpful to provide some context. Perhaps some of you will decide to take up blogging yourself! Or maybe this will just peak your interest in reading blogs and inspire you to search for more reading material that interests you.

Credit goes to my colleague, Jay L., who writes an internal e-mail blog for our company. Below is content from his blog. In the first excerpt, Jay is discussing ways to prepare yourself to be a good blogger. Here is one of his tips:

“Be a more efficient reader. You can’t write if you don’t read, and whether you read business or psychology blogs, professional journals, news publications, or all of the above, staying informed will only help you, and that’s true beyond blogging. One way to be a more efficient reader is to use an aggregator. I use Google Reader, but there are a number of options out there. An aggregator is essentially a dashboard that looks like a web-based email program, and it feeds the latest posts and articles from any blog or news source that you subscribe to – these free subscriptions are sometimes called RSS feeds or Really Simple Syndication. With this system, by the time I’ve had my morning coffee, I’ve read the headlines and summary paragraphs for every new article at the New York Times, Wall St Journal, Technorati, the Onion, and the Post-Dispatch, plus I’ll see any new posts from a dozen or so blogs that I follow. For any content that strikes my interest, I click to read the full article. The advantage of this system is time – it eliminates the need to jump from website to website, and new content comes to you in an easy-to-manage format.”

Another quote from Jay, about the nature of blogging:

“Blogging is all about finding a rhythm, a format for communication that you can repeat over time.”

By the way, there are several ways to follow a blog (which allows you to see new posts as they appear on the blog). If you click on the Subscribe page (link at the top of my blog), you’ll find places to subscribe in a reader (e.g., Google Reader) or subscribe via e-mail. You can also choose to Follow with Google Friend Connect (on the right side of my main page).

How many of you are new to reading blogs?

How many of you do not use Google Reader yet?

Dog Strollers. Seriously?

2009-12-30T15:52:00.002-06:00

Okay dog fanatics, don’t attack me for this one. Or sic your pit bull on me. I am a dog lover too. But a dog stroller? Maybe for a dog that has hip dysplasia or sipped one too many Mai Tais, but I see healthy normal (albeit a little fat – probably from being pushed around all day) Maltese puppies being pushed in these crazy things.

How can you look at this without laughing hysterically?

When I searched “dog stroller” one of the first entries made me guffaw - “which stroller is right for your dog?” Um, what? THE ONE THAT SAYS I HAVE COMPLETELY LOST MY FREAKING MIND?

I admit we were that metro couple without children who once thought our dogs were people. We dressed them up for Halloween, for crying out loud. But they asked us to.

And perhaps we talked about them a bit too much in social settings. Just like proud parents who go on too long about their child’s potty habits. So we thought others might find it interesting that our adorable little Pomeranian likes leopard print and a good jazz cd. Big deal.

But a dog stroller? Never.

What I would like to see is an adult-sized people stroller. I really could have used one of those when I was pregnant. Even now, it would be really nice to rest my post-partum bulge on the tray and sip a nice glass of Merlot from my sippy cup nicely situated in a cup holder and have my dear husband push me around the mall. Perhaps if I make good choices he will buy me some Chick Fil-A and one of those cookie sandwiches with M&Ms for eyes.

Joy of Christmas Lights with a Car Full of Crying Kids

2009-12-24T13:00:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I have these cliché "what in the cotton-pickin' heck were we thinking?" parenting moments. Oh. Wait a minute. Scratch that - I have those daily. Okay, maybe hourly. You get the idea.

I recently had the brilliant plan of taking our three-year-old and newborn to see a park so chock-full of Christmas lights that comparing it to the Griswald's house would be like Charlie Brown's Christmas up against the tree at Rockefeller center. Some poor souls who work for the county are subjected to the absolute torture of stringing Christmas lights all through the park. So I thought it would be a good idea to sit in our car moving at less than 2 mph with two small children and stare at said lights.

That might not have been such a brilliant plan.

Might I mention that I was feeling particularly ambitious that evening, and we had just braved a 30 minute drive to church, a 1 hour church service (we saw about 10 minutes of the service since we were continually streaking out of service as one or both children screeched or yelled WHERE ARE THE SNACKS?), and a 30 minute drive back to town. Oh yeah, and we stopped along the way to eat some Culver's (no snide nutrition remarks, please) in the car. It was AFTER all of this that we went to the obnoxious light display.

Oh yeah, AND the stupid light display had a line like the girl's bathroom at a Miley Cyrus concert.

Oh yeah, AND we didn't have any cash. More on that later.

There we are, crammed into our Camry, which seems to grow increasingly tiny by the minute. I am in the back of the car, and my husband is Driving Miss Daisy (pretend Jackie Chang is playing the role of the chauffeur). I think there were various toys, orange peels, coats, princess slippers, and used baby wipes on the floor below my feet, because I had no room for them and had to sit licking my knees. The baby was in the gigantic car seat next to me (seriously, why on earth do those darned things have to be so big - the baby is less than 10 pounds!) and our oldest was in her even bigger car seat next to the opposite window. She insisted on pulling and snapping the stupid sun visor the entire time. (Which eventually resulted in a minor tantrum. Mine. I have a vague memory of me ripping it off the window and ~~slamming~~ gently tossing it into the garbage pail at my feet.)

About 15 minutes into our wait in the stupid line, the baby starts wailing. Now, we are technically on a road, but the line is off to the side on the shoulder and really is just creeping along. So, do we count as a moving vehicle? Am I akin to Britney Spears if I take her out of the car seat at this point? I decide to proudly reassure myself that I am a good parent, who can handle a little crying, so I leave her in the car seat and begin desperately ~~shaking~~ rocking the car seat in hopes the resulting dizziness will lull her into a state of peace. About this time, our other child decides she would like to join in the fun and begins whining/crying as well. Of course, my dear husband thinks it is helpful to shout suggestions from the front. "Is the baby wet?" "Have you given her a bottle?" "Can you pass me a martini, two olives?" Dude, do you think I haven't thought of the same things you have? Why don't you get out there and see what happens when you chew on one of those light strands?

We continue like this, now just wanting to get into the festival of ~~hell~~ lights and get this over with, for about another 10 minutes. Finally, we enter the park. Throughout the entire drive, our eldest asks repeatedly: "Where is Santa? Where is Santa?" I want to reply: "Believe me kid, if I knew, I would wring his jolly neck for being the ring leader in all this nonsense."

I know we are officially grumpy adults, because instead of oohing and ahhing over all these blinking strings, my husband and I just keep commenting that it must be a royal pain to do all of this work. I can just imagine the spouse of the poor worker who puts up all these lights. If s/he dare to badger his/her spouse about putting up Christmas decorations at home, I am certain the spouse would end up with a string of lights inserted where the sun don't shine. The blinking butt could be a cool conversation starter, though.

Merry freakin' Christmas.

Oh yeah, I forgot. As we finally exit the park, the guy assigned to take the $9 fee (who chooses that job?) informs us it is cash only. Oops. Here, have a dirty diaper and an orange peel. I would feel guilty about shorting them the $9 except I recently received our county tax bill.

Gift of Giving - Will You Join In?

2009-12-23T15:38:00.001-06:00

At my workplace, the owners began a Gift of Giving program last holiday season. They give each employee $100 and ask that the employee use the money to help an individual or family in need. The only parameters are that the person(s) must be outside your family, and it cannot be an organization - it must be an individual or family. Employees are then asked to write their stories anonymously in a shared document on our network. A couple of those stories are below.

Doing this small, simple act can have such an impact on people in need. We are allowed to give whatever message we want when we gift the money. I have asked recipients to pay it forward. I would now like to see how many of you are willing to pay it forward. Would you join us this year and gift $100 of your money to a person or family in need? If so, would you please write your story in the comments section here. You can remain anonymous if you would like.

A couple of stories from employees at my workplace:

A friend of mine volunteers for an organization called Mary Queen of Angels. They help mothers with young children who can’t afford the things they need to take care of their children. They help them provide food, diapers and wipes, etc for their children. I gave my $100 to a 30-year old single mother of two small children who is unemployed. She does not own a car so her father has to take her places. She receives no child support from the father. She said her children don’t have many clothes so she is constantly washing their clothes so they at least have clean clothes to wear. She is living with her cousin because her heat was turned off. Her refrigerator recently broke and she lost about $70 worth of food. One of her children has severe adhd and she can barely take him out in public. She said she hadn’t bought her kids any Christmas presents yet. She was very grateful and surprised by the $100 gift and was going to buy food and Christmas presents for her children.

A local charity put me in touch with a woman in need who lives in my area. She is 53 years old and single. She recently had hip surgery and is unable to work because of her physical condition. She has fallen behind financially. She doesn’t have any family in the immediate area. She tries to have a positive outlook but sometimes gets discouraged about what the future might hold. She was surprised when she received the $100 bill. She said she plans to use the money to buy a winter coat and shoes. It also gave her hope for the future and made her want to spread the joy by performing a random act of kindness for someone else.

Happy Holidays!

Favorite Gift Ideas

2009-12-22T21:29:00.003-06:00

I suppose this is a little late for anyone to actually use these gift suggestions for Christmas, but perhaps you can use these for future special occasions. Here we go:

My parents bought us the Sodastream for Christmas, and we love it! It is fun to operate and I like that it produces less waste. The sparkling water is pretty good, and is a nice healthy alternative for our family.

For the woman in your life, you can't go wrong with this Hobo International Lauren wallet. I have two of these and have bought them for a number of ladies, who all love their wallet as much as I love mine. Every time I use mine, someone asks me about it.

The same goes for my Lodis briefcase. I saw another woman with this briefcase and asked her about it. Since I bought mine, I often have people ask me where I got it so they can get one too! The one I have has a laptop compartment, which is nice. There are versions without the compartment.

For kids, I think you can't go wrong with books. A friend bought us one of the Llama books, Llama Llama Red Pajama. They are really cute. Another friend bought us You Are Special, which has an implicit Christian theme, but is a good story regardless of the person's faith.

For babies, we love our back to sleep bear - it was suggested by a mom friend and really helps get our newborn back to sleep.

For teenagers, give them money. Anything else, they will be disappointed!

For men, you can't go wrong with an iPhone or an iPod touch. These wireless headphones that allow you to watch TV without having your bed mate complain are also pretty cool.

For the geek in your life (sorry dad!), this wireless weather forecaster is pretty cool.

Happy shopping! I welcome any other suggestions you all have.

Baaaddd Bottled Water!

2009-12-11T15:34:00.000-06:00

A little off-topic, but certainly an eye-opener. I have never been a fan of bottled water. It just seems silly and wasteful to me, sorry. Turns out there is good evidence to support my viewpoint:

Infographic of bottle water from Fast Company

Flying with Young Children

2009-12-10T13:59:00.002-06:00

We will soon depart on our first flight with two little ones. Let's hope we aren't over confident. Despite the fact that our first born can, at times, be quite a handful, she has always been an excellent traveler. I can't remember ever having difficulty with her on the plane. She never had the screaming fits because of ear pain, she is generally well behaved, and she mostly stays in her seat. I attribute part of that to the fact that she started traveling at a very young age (her first trip out of the country was at age 7 months) and it is old hat for her.

We'll see how well we do with two!

One of my best parenting tricks for things like travel and eating out is to talk about it A LOT beforehand. Explain what will happen, what to expect, what kind of behavior you expect from them, what the reward is for that behavior(!), how long you will be doing this activity, etc.

I like this recent blog post about things to do in airports with kids, and how to get through security easier with kids.

Now, navigating the security line with kids is something I haven't quite mastered yet, so I'll take all the advice I can get there! I'm quite adept (Humbly, I'd say I'm black belt level) at getting through security as a business traveler. Man, I can whip off my shoes and have the laptop out in nothing flat. But boy, I can't seem to get the shoes off my toddler, make her put down her toy and calmly waltz through the metal detector without significant coaxing and bribing. There are some tips on getting through security with kids in this blog post, but I suppose I was looking for more of a magic bullet - these seem kind of obvious.

Any of you have good travel tips? I'll take any old travel tips - tips for traveling with kids or just plain old tips.

What Hell is Like - Sleep Deprivation!

2009-12-03T14:43:00.001-06:00

Well, you may remember my post, "What Heaven is Like" - now I know what hell is like. It is a sleep deprivation chamber. Also, there probably isn't any chocolate in hell. I'm too tired to elaborate, but let's just say I've had night upon night of being awaken every 30 minutes by my beautiful little newborn. She is so cute and sweet during the day, but why, oh why, won't she just sleep for a little bit during the night?

I like this recent blog entry with ideas about how to get a baby to sleep. So funny.

I received two pieces of really sage advice during this same newborn/no sleep phase with my first born:

The first, from my mother was regarding breaking all the rules about what not to do with a newborn (bring them to bed with you, allow them to nurse on demand, don't allow them to nurse on demand, etc.). What did my mom think about what you should do with your newborn? My mom said: "You just survive." So true.

The second was from my co-worker, Terence, who has two children of his own. His first born didn't sleep through the night for quite some time (years!). Over those years, many well-intentioned people gave him lots and lots of advice. He finally came to a brilliant conclusion about why his child didn't sleep. Here is what he says: "You know why she doesn't sleep? Because she doesn't sleep."

There you have it.