outMANned: living life with my three guys

Birth story plus some happenings at home

2016-09-09T11:38:00.002-05:00

She's here! Yay! Katherine Cobb Schneider made her grand debut at 9:18 Tuesday morning. She weighed 7 pounds, 9 ounces, and was 20 inches long.

It was a short but eventful labor. I checked in to the hospital at 3 a.m. By 4, they had started the pitocin and I started to have some very small contractions. Every half an hour or so, the nurse came in and increased the dosage. But at some point, the contractions actually started getting further apart. So when the doctor on for the day came in, she decided to break my water to see if that would help any. They did that around 8:15. Well that just kicked everything into gear. I was trying not to have an epidural (because I'm stupid and with Cooper it didn't work on one side and with Semmes it made me really sick from the blood pressure drops). But after about 45 minutes, I was already nauseous and just done. So I asked the nurse for an epidural. I had progressed from 4 cm to 6-7 cm, so I was able to have one. The anesthesia guy was there in no time and 4-5 contractions later, it was in. But as soon as he laid me down I felt an urge to push. So the nurse checked me again, and the baby was already in the birth canal. Lovely. The doctor came running, and after one push, the baby was born at 9:18 a.m. So the epidural was useless (it kicked in in time for me to not feel the one stitch I needed). Natural childbirth is no joke.

We were home the next day in time for Brad to pick up Cooper from kindergarten. Semmes decided that Tuesday afternoon would be a great time to get a fever plus a cold and throw up at school. So Wednesday he was home sick with my parents (thank goodness they were there!). He was waiting on the front porch when we got home. He gave us both big hugs, told us he "never" wanted to meet Katherine Cobb, took one look at my stomach, and asked if I was growing ANOTHER baby. Geez, thanks kid.

Cooper got home with Brad and just laughed and laughed when he saw me. So that was great. He makes my heart happy. Then we showed him the baby. He promptly pushed her away. And every time she gets near him, he pushes and hits her. I'm sure he's thinking, "You already got me one of those and he's a terror. Whey would you get another one?"

Semmes went back to school on Thursday plus had karate. So he was TIRED last night. He wanted both Brad and I to go upstairs with him to put him to bed. We got into his tiny, twin-sized bed on either side of him, read him a Ranger Rick magazine, then just hugged on him. Just us and him. He told us that Katherine Cobb "hurts his feelings." I really hope that he warms up to her soon. It's just so sad.

Anyway, things are going pretty good, other than all of that. She's super sweet, is eating well, sleeps all the time still, and is just the cutest. So enjoy the rest of these pictures!! (And yes, I'm wearing pajamas with owls on them; don't judge.)

The In-between

2016-09-03T13:22:00.001-05:00

The baby girl, if I don't go into labor before then, will be born Tuesday (I have to be there at 3 AM; 3 AM!). I'm currently at that stage where I am so ready to not be pregnant. So, so ready. But she's currently extremely low maintenance. I'm a little terrified to have three kids. Three kids is a lot, especially when one has special needs, one is a "threenager," and one is a newborn that eats constantly and sleeps at weird times. I get that I can't have it both ways: I can't not be pregnant and not have a newborn. And really, only the first few months will be super hard. At least, that's what I keep telling myself...

In odd pregnancy news, my stomach has been measuring a few weeks behind ever since I started getting measured when I moved to Memphis. Plus, I haven't gained any weight in the last three weeks. So, Thursday I got an ultrasound to see if she was undersized or I didn't have enough fluid. If so, I might've had her that day. I was 38 weeks, 3 days and she was measuring exactly 38 weeks, 3 days. My stomach is closer to 35 week size. So basically, I have a normal-sized baby crammed into a small space. Based on the terrible heartburn I've been having, I get this.

Anyway, I guess the next time that I post, I will have three kids and we will be a family of five! If you're awake really early Tuesday morning, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers!

6!

2016-08-24T19:10:00.003-05:00

Ok people, I'm writing a blog post. And you know what has gotten me out of my blog dry spell? Cooper is turning 6 tomorrow. 6! And he's in kindergarten. Kindergarten! I can't even process this.

School is going great. His teacher is AMAZING. The two aides in his class are AMAZING. He is happy to be there in the morning and happy when we pick him up. It's great. Tomorrow, on his birthday of course, is his first day in the pool. I hope he has a good time! He'll start going every Thursday. And he does PE on Tuesdays (how cute is that?). Anyway, enjoy some Cooper pictures!

I blogged (and wrote about Coke)

2016-02-14T19:23:00.003-06:00

So my New Year's resolution was going to be to start writing on the blog again. But then I found this:

And this amazing challenge became my New Year's resolution. But then two things happened: one Lent. Being pregnant I have already given up plenty of things, so I thought I'd take up more blogging. Two: I was asked to be a social ambassador to the Clinton Center. Yes, I was as surprised by this as you all are. The woman that asked me said that the social ambassadors were chosen because we had influence amongst our peers; it was all I could do to keep a straight face at that one.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I went to a really cool event at the Clinton Center. It was a Coca Cola Collectors' Convention. Basically, it was Antique's Roadshow for Coke memorabilia. Let me be the first to say that I was skeptical. How much Coca Cola memorabilia is out there? Would anything actually be worth anything? The answers to those questions are: yes, tons and yes, a lot.

First, we got a chance to look in at the Coca Cola exhibit that is currently in its last days. (Next up is an exhibit on the history of the Olympics that is going to be super cool.) Did you know of the 6 original Andy Warhol illustrations, Coca Cola only owns 3? One of them was bought by Coke in the 1970's after some guy realized it had been hanging above the mantle in his parent's house for years. Anyway, here are two of them:

Next: on to the main event! The very first item that was shown was this old, red "airline cooler." The lady that brought it in had had it in her garage forever. It was in great condition. And was estimated to be worth $300-500 at auction. Man, home run!

Next was a man that had a bunch of old bottles (apparently I didn't take a picture). Coke bottles got their now-classic curvy appearance in 1915. Bottles before that were just regular "straight-sided" bottles. Those bottles, the pre-1915 ones, can be worth $200-300 each. For a glass bottle. Crazy stuff.

The same guy pulled this bowl out last. It was a silver "pretzel bowl" (I'll let you figure out why). Anyway, this innocuous looking little bowl that stands on three silver coke bottles is worth, I'm so not kidding, $600-850 at auction. What!?

Last two items worth mentioning: this guy had something that not even the Coca Cola archives had in it. He had a painted wall bulletin and and advertising booklet. Painted walls were all the rage for advertising back in the day. The bulletin was given out so that all the walls were standardized, no matter who painted them. It had specifications for how big all the words were, what the text should look like, the specific colors to use, etc. The advertising booklet was pretty similar but for print ads. Coca Cola has some in their archives, but not the ones he owns. The Coke people couldn't even give him an estimate (but they did give him their cards so they might just end up in their archives).

Last, was a grocery/gas sign in pristine condition. These used to sit at the end of grocery store aisles or on top of gas pumps and served as advertisements. This one still spun and everything. It was estimated to get $600-1,000 at auction. Can you imagine having something like that laying around your garage?

There were many other things, but these I thought were the most interesting/unique. The Clinton Center has some surprisingly cool things going on. It's easy to forget that it's over there, being a the edge and almost separate from downtown, but kids under 5 are free and it's a great rainy/cold day destination. The Olympic exhibit will be there all summer, and I'm super pumped to check it out. The summer Olympics are seriously my favorite thing ever.

Coke archive on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CokeArchives/?fref=ts

Coke archive on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/explore/locations/5367132/

Clinton Center on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clintoncenter/

Listen to Your Mother (the video)

2015-07-10T16:21:00.001-05:00

A couple of months ago, I was honored to participate in Little Rock's Listen to Your Mother show. It was an amazing show, an amazing experience, and featured a lot of really amazing people. Well, the videos are now up! Here is the link to the YouTube channel featuring the whole cast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5oPQWgVdsDk2FBvDL5xLJPW0nIy6I9PD

If you have some time, you should definitely check all of them out!

Here is a link just to my story:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ9xx3i57gE&list=PL5oPQWgVdsDk2FBvDL5xLJPW0nIy6I9PD&index=10

If you notice, I only look in one direction. All of my family and friends were sitting on one side of the auditorium. I knew if I looked in that direction, I'd lose it even more than I did. So i just kept looking away from them.

Also, here are some pictures from the evening. Thanks Jabob Slaton (http://www.jacobslaton.com) for the amazing photography!

I am terrible at pictures like this.

Power posing. Obviously.

The cast!

Actually giving the talk.

The big finish!

These are my people. So happy they were there to support me! I couldn't do life without them.

Kid's Menus Make Me Want to Punch Someone in the Throat

2015-06-30T14:27:00.000-05:00

Have you looked at a kid's menu lately? You know what's on 90% of those menus? Fried food, rice, and macaroni and cheese. My kid LIKES vegetables. So do most kids, until they get exposure to kid's menus. It's 2015. Parents want to feed their kids vegetables, fruit, grilled food, etc. I want Semmes to continue to explore food, to continue to try new things, to continue to be interested in healthy food.

This is the kid's menu from P.F. Chang's. Yes, there is a vegetable option, but look at the Kid's Chicken Fried Rice. They actually seem proud of themselves for taking the vegetables OUT of the fried rice! Honestly...

I have a friend who has two elementary-aged children. They eat mostly fried food, french fries, etc. And she thinks a large reason for this is that whenever they went out to eat, that was what was available to them. Kids are people too. They want variety. They want to be challenged. They want to eat real food! Let them!!

Acts of Kindness

2015-06-24T21:09:00.002-05:00

Honestly, I've been pretty lucky as a special needs mom: no real confrontations with assholes, not too much "advice," etc. Some of this I chalk up to dumb luck, but I think a lot of it is who I choose to surround myself with. My friends, the people I have chosen to grow close to me and our children, are awesome. A couple of things that have happened in the last couple of weeks have made me realize just how lucky I am.

We went to a friend's daughter's first birthday party last weekend. It was a great party and both boys had a great time. My friend's dad, who had never met me or either of my children, made a point of going over to Cooper, sitting next to him, and then had a little conversation with him. It was amazing to watch. And I realized just why Rachael and I are such good friends: she comes from good people.

Last Sunday, Brad was working nights. So I took both boys to church by myself. Semmes loves communion; he wants to "eat the bread." So I always go get him from the nursery before communion. It's hard to keep Semmes quiet and occupied in church and sit with Cooper. My friend Sydney and her mom have just made themselves the bonus moms of my children on Sundays when Brad is on nights. They go to the nursery with me, they hold Cooper, they let Semmes play with their son/grandson's toys and read his books, they walk Cooper to communion while I walk with Semmes, and after church they help me get everything to my car. They are everything church is supposed to be: warm, welcoming, supportive, helpful...I'm so thankful for them every week.

So, my friends, thank you for being you. And being awesome. And for never making me feel different or that there is anything wrong. You people rock, and I'm so thankful for you!

Saturday Happenings

2015-05-16T16:39:00.004-05:00

Today has been surprisingly busy. We got up this morning and went to The Toggery to get silhouettes of the kids made. They turned out really great!

We also got Cooper a tooth fairy pillow while we were there. When he went to his 4 1/2 year dentist appointment, the dentist told us that two of his six year molars were already in and his two bottom, front teeth were already loose. He should loose them in the next few months! Crazy!

After naps, I took the kids on a short walk, then Semmes and I painted. I'm becoming quite the Pinterest mom (ha, yeah right!). The "paintings" turned out pretty cute!

The Lie

2015-05-11T17:05:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, parents lie to their kids. It happens. You know, "Your face will freeze like that," "They're out of cookies at the grocery store," that kind of thing. Yesterday, we told Semmes his first lie: that alligators live in the sewer drains.

We were on a walk and he was eating a banana. He had rubbed a banana peel all over his car seat the day before, and it had to be cleaned. So I didn't want the same thing to happen again. Brad took the peel away and went to throw it in the storm drain. Semmes was crying and carrying on about "his banana peel." So I told him that we were feeding it to the alligators that lived in the storm drain. For the rest of the walk, every time we passed a storm drain, he would point and say, "agilators (his cute word for alligators) live there." I was kinda hoping he would forget about this, but he's STILL talking about it. And how alligators live in swamps, ponds, and storm drains. I've scarred him for life.

Listen to Your Mother show

2015-05-10T16:20:00.001-05:00

On Thursday night, I participated in Little Rock's Listen to Your Mother show. It was an amazing cast, an amazing experience, and I am so honored that I was even allowed up on stage with the other 12 people. I had a great time getting to know them all (and getting so distracted by each other that we got stuck in an elevator), and all of their stories will remain with me.

LTYM is in 39 cities across the country, and there will eventually be a YouTube video of my talk. But that won't happen until mid-summer. So for now, I'm posting my talk so you can all read it. Happy Mother's Day, and enjoy!!

"Two Mothers"

I am two mothers. I am a special needs mom, a label I never imagined I would have. And I am a “typical” mom. I am as comfortable with pulse oximeter readings, feeding tubes, and seizures as I am with play dates and the complex rules of toddler sharing. It’s a complex balancing act that requires both children to have a little less of me, but isn’t that true of all mothers of more than one child?

I became a mom in August of 2010. What should have been one of the happiest days of my life quickly turned frightening when Cooper wasn’t breathing well. Plus, he was born looking just a little different than a typical baby: enough that he was almost immediately tested for genetic variations, but not enough that anyone could pinpoint what, exactly, was wrong. Cooper was rushed to the NICU to be fed and breathed for, and we went into a holding pattern until his test results came back. We discovered, a few days later, that he has a random, genetic mutation. He doesn’t have a defined syndrome and his deletions and duplications are so rare that the doctors could literally tell us nothing about what we could expect for his growth and development. We were, and still are, flying blind.

Cooper is now four and a half. He’s been hospitalized 22 times, been in the ER 20 times (8 of those visits were in a six month period), and has had more than 10 surgeries. He has 12 separate diagnoses, from chronic lung disease to infantile spasms, and we see 14 subspecialists. It’s quite an ordeal.

But Cooper is happy, and I’m thankful that Cooper is happy. Even though he can’t tell me that he is happy, the signs are all there. He smiles, he laughs, he’s ticklish, he gives the best hugs, he loves to snuggle. Plus, of all the consonant sounds he could make, the only one he says with regularity is mama. I’m thankful to be loved like that.

In the midst of all this craziness, we decided to do something even crazier: I got pregnant again. We found out at eleven weeks that we were having a perfectly typical baby boy. And my reaction to this news was that of terror. I was just figuring out how to navigate the complex world of Medicaid, seizure medications that had to be ordered from other states, and early intervention preschools. What was I going to do with an infant? One that was going to be rolling over and sitting up on a pre-defined schedule? How was I going to deal with an infant while going to bi-monthly doctor appointments? And then, he was going to grow up! He was going to talk, and have opinions, and throw tantrums. I was definitely not ready for any of that.

But you know what happened? I figured it out too. And Semmes, my precious second son, did everything early. He sat up at four and a half months, crawled just after six, and was running by a year. At two, his vocabulary is huge. He knows all his colors, most of the letters and numbers, has memorized countless books and songs, and loves his big brother. He’s in the helping stage. He wants to help give Cooper his nasal spray, he loves sitting next to Cooper and “reading” him a book, and if you ask him what Cooper says, he says, “mamama,” just like Cooper.

Cooper goes to school from 8-3:30 year round, so I get to be just a regular, old mom Monday-Friday. And let me tell you, it is just as stressful. Semmes tells me no when he doesn’t want to do something, throws huge, fall on the ground tantrums, steals toys from his friends (and cries when someone takes something from him), and in general behaves like a typical toddler. He also gives kisses if you’re sad, yells “Hold, mama” when he wants a hug, and is just so sweet.

I love my life and I love my kids. Is my life exactly the way I pictured it when I was younger? No. But I have come to realize several things about being two moms:

1. We’re not super heroes. The learning curve for a special needs mom might be steeper, but we’re just doing what all other moms do: figuring out how to do this mom thing the best way we can and doing what is best for our child.

2. A good support system is the best thing you can have. Thankfully, my husband is a pediatrician, so we have been surrounded since the time of Cooper’s birth by an amazing team of doctors that love Cooper, and us. None of our family lives in town, or even in the state, so I’ve been so lucky to find an amazing group of friends that I wouldn’t know what I would do without.

3. I’m thankful that Semmes will grow up with a sibling with special needs. I hope that it makes him more empathetic, more willing to stand up for those that are weaker or have less. I think that some of the life lessons he will learn from Cooper may not be easy ones, but I’m glad that he will get to learn them just the same.

My life is filled with more laughter, love, and joy than it is with struggle and pain. So I call that a good life.

Not all who wander are lost

2015-05-09T16:43:00.001-05:00

That title is a cliche in many ways, but it is so true of toddlers. I think one of the best parts of being a parent is getting to see the world from the point of view of a child. Everything is new. Everything is exciting. Everything is fun. Semmes is happiest when he is outside, exploring something new. And his excitement is contagious. When you hear, "look, mama, ants!" the ants stop being pests and become something amazing.

I've become friends, of a sort, with the garbage men that work in our area. I'm constantly pointing out school buses, firetrucks, trolleys, and excavators as I drive. "Semmes, don't put that rock/stick/pinecone/etc. in your mouth," is said often. And it's all fun.

Every experience is new again. It's been so great getting to learn the world all over again. And Semmes, don't listen to me about one thing: stay off the trails. Life is much more fun when you go off-road occasionally.

Conversations with Semmes

2015-04-29T14:19:00.000-05:00

Semmes is at the point, talking-wise, where he can have very basic conversations with me. He doesn't really have a whole lot of new stuff to offer, but he can repeat things, answer yes or no questions, and seems to really take everything in. Here are a couple of examples of conversations we've had over the last few days.

Semmes got Corduroy goes to the Doctor last weekend in Memphis. He loves it and has memorized the whole thing. The other day, out of the blue, he says, "Mama, I want to get a shot."
What?! I'm thinking to myself. Obviously, he has no idea that a shot hurts. "Why do you want to get a shot?" I ask him.
"I want bandaid," re replies. Of course, such a logical reason to want a shot. I tell him that the next time he goes to the doctor he doesn't have to get a shot; he's finished until he's four.
"Want bandaid."
"I'm sure you can still have a bandaid when we go to the doctor."
"No. Shot then bandaid."
"Oh," I say, remembering he still has to have a flu shot in the fall/winter, "you will have a flu shot in a few months and you can have a bandaid then!"
"OH! OK!" Never thought I'd have a kid so excited to be getting a shot. Hope this actually lasts until then!

Today, we went to the dinosaur exhibit at the Clinton Library. Semmes got to pick out a small dinosaur to take home with him. He chose a black triceratops (which is currently in the crib napping with him). I was putting him down for a nap and asked him what color his new dinosaur was.
"Black."
"That's right. What kind is it?"
"Triceratops (in kid speak)."
"Good! Did you know that they eat plants."
"OOOHHH (I wish I had recorded this sound)!! Dino eats plants! Dino loud! Dino roar roar (roar roar??)!"
"Yes, your dinosaur was loud. It roared."
"Red dino (at the museum, all the dinosaurs had different colored lights on them) say roar roar too! So loud!"
"What is the red dino called?"
"T-Rex."
"That's right. He eats meat."
"My dino eat plants."
"Right."

And then I put him down for his nap. That kid. He's hilarious.

Shut up about the "mommy wars"

2015-04-25T19:37:00.002-05:00

Dear media, I know you really like to talk about the "mommy war." That thing where every type of mother hates every other type of mother. But really, shut up. There is no such thing (or if there is, I've never experienced it).

Here's why it does not exist.
1. No mom has enough time or energy to worry about what some other mom thinks or is doing. Unless they're asking for help or assistance. And then every mom I've ever met will give you all the advice and help you could ever want.
2. There are no "types" of moms. Yes, some moms work and some don't, some moms exclusively breastfeed and some only do formula, etc. But most moms do whatever they can to make their kids happy and kinda sane. At some point, I've tried things with my kids I never would've imagined. I've washed my cloth diapers in grapeseed oil extract, I've used coconut oil on a diaper rash, I've used tons of buttpaste and disposable diapers, I've bottle fed, I've given my kid formula, I've given my kid breastmilk from a bottle and from a breast...I've done it all. I'm not crunchy, I'm not holistic, I'm not a firm believer in everything my doctor (or husband) says, I'm a little bit of everything. If something is going on with my kid, I will try pretty much anything to fix it.
3. I'd rather have an open dialogue with another mom than a fight. The other day, a mom friend and I were talking punishment. She uses time-outs because they work for her. I don't because it's not really my thing. That was it. There was no war. No one tried to convince the other that they were right. It was a statement of facts, a revelation of our truths. Do I think she's wrong and I'm right? No. I think we're both right, even though we're doing two different things, because we have two different kids. And thank goodness for that!

And I don't think I'm in the minority of moms who feel this way. So can we just drop it now? Thanks.

Wheelchair

2015-02-23T09:52:00.001-06:00

In the next week or so, Cooper will be getting a wheelchair. And, while this is super exciting for Cooper, it means that I will have a child in a wheelchair. And that's a little painful, if I'm being perfectly honest. Things are about to get a little selfish up in here, but I'm a real person with real feelings that are sometimes ugly and not always correct, so deal with it.

In our culture, wheelchairs almost always have the negative association of "handicap," so much so that there's a whole "handicapable" campaign to disspell this belief. I don't want to have to defend Cooper. If he's in his cool stroller thing, and we're just walking along, it's easy to imagine that Cooper is just a "normal" kid, but with a wheelchair, it will be obvious, even from a distance, that Cooper is far from "normal." I know, I'm being whiny and selfish, believe me, and I know that he will hopefully like it and be motivated to use it himself, but still...it kinda sucks.

I know that Cooper has no idea if someone looks at him funny or makes an ignorant comment, but I know. And I somehow feel that having Cooper in a wheelchair will draw more of those looks and elicit more of those comments. And I just don't want to deal with it. I don't want to be nice when people are stupid. I don't want to pretend not to notice that you're giving my child (or me) pitying looks. I just don't.

But Cooper's physical therapist is super excited. Brad is super excited. And I will pretend to be super excited too. Because, no matter what, he's my little guy. And at the end of the day, when he snuggles up to me and says, "mama," I just melt and give him my heart all over again.

An Apology

2014-11-10T20:18:00.001-06:00

I would like to apologize to anyone I may have hurt/offended by posting breastfeeding articles, etc. on Facebook. I realize it can be hurtful to anyone who can't/doesn't want to breastfeed and I never meant that. So, I'm going to say this. If you don't breastfeed your child, it's cool. No really, it is. And I don't need to hear any excuse. You are doing what is best for you and your child. If you choose not to breastfeed for medical reasons, or because it creeps you out, or because you adopted, or because you want your spouse to be able to get up in the middle of the night and feed the baby too, or you're working and pumping is the worst (because it is), or you just don't want to, then that's cool.

I chose to breastfeed for two reasons. 1. Because I was lucky enough that I could. 2. It's free. No really, I'm a cheapskate. All the other stuff is nice, but the free part was what decided me. I had no lofty reasons, so I'm really in no position to judge.

Here is what bothers me about the breastfeeding stuff, and what the majority of what I post about on Facebook is really about: it's doing it in public. If a woman chooses to feed her baby in public and she's formula feeding, no one gives it a second thought. It's a non-issue. If a woman chooses to BREASTFEED her baby in public, she better quickly toughen up because someone, at some point, is going to say something. And that's just not fair. And why I chose to educate myself before I started doing it. I needed ammunition, a comeback in case anyone asked me to leave, or cover up, or go into a bathroom (eeewww), or whatever. I wanted to know what was allowed and why it was important. And then I probably got carried away. I admit it. But for such a long time, you feel like you have to fight for it. Because at some point in your child's babyhood, you will have to feed them in public. Because babies have ridiculously tiny stomachs and have to eat ALL THE TIME. And Semmes was that baby that refused to be covered. So I just gave up...and toughened up. But probably too much.

So if anyone, at any point, has felt in any way judged by me on the breastfeeding vs. formula feeding thing, I'm sorry. I'm really not judging you for feeding your baby formula. Really. I just had a bunch of walls up because I was just waiting for the fight to happen, you know? But now Semmes is only eating once or twice a day. So it's totally a non-issue now.

Obligatory Pumpkin Patch Post

2014-10-28T12:51:00.003-05:00

We went to the pumpkin patch last week. We went to BoBrook farms, which is where we've gone for the last four years and where we pick blueberries. Cooper, for the first time, did not get to go this year. With him missing a week of school for vacation and then him being sick off and on, he really can't miss any more days, especially not the quarter. Plus, he has a Halloween Carnival at school and we have lots of Halloween stuff this weekend, so he will get his fair share of Halloween stuff.

Anyway, pictures!

Semmes loved the animals (of course). They had goats, pigs, and chickens.

Owen and Semmes were REALLY into this "truck." Would not get out of it, even though it was covered in mud.

Then we got this "truck" over by the corn pit.

Mom friends!!

My sweet boy:

He was very distracted by the giant, furry spider above us.

And then daddy got to come too!

This is the best one!

Talk at St. Mark's

2014-10-21T08:03:00.003-05:00

I was asked to give a 1-2 minute stewardship talk about my experience at St. Mark's. I gave the very short talk on Sunday. I wanted to share it here as well. If you're shopping for a new church home, you should consider checking out St. Mark's!

My husband and I are accidental members of St. Mark’s. In the best possible way. We moved here in June of 2010 for Brad’s pediatric residency at ACH. We had been to a couple of churches, but were still church shopping when my dad and I visited St. Mark’s. I liked the service, everyone was kind and welcoming, and the priests were great, so I filled out a visitor card. Luke called me that Tuesday. We talked for a while. I told him that I was pregnant and due in about a month and he told me about their new ministry where members of the church bring food after the baby is born. I said that that seemed great and that I would see him Sunday. I gave birth the next day. I honestly don’t remember how the church found out, but we had a couple of St. Mark’s visitors in the NICU, where Cooper spent his first eleven days of life. Then when we got home, people just started showing up with food. None of these people had ever met me, I had attended church there exactly once, heck, my husband had NEVER even been in the building, but the people of St. Mark’s opened their hearts, and their kitchens, to us. It was pretty obvious that we had found our church home in Little Rock. We officially became members the week before Cooper was baptized.

When Cooper was about six months old, he was finally healthy enough for us to start attending church more regularly. Brad was very busy and worked constantly that first year, so often it was just me and the baby in the back. In this way, I got to know Sydney, who eventually invited me to join her Christ Care group. This group of women has become my Little Rock family. We get together weekly to share what’s going on in our lives, we pray for each other regularly, and I value each of the relationships I have with them. My Monday nights feel empty on the weeks I have to miss Christ Care.

Cooper was born early and with an undiagnosed chromosome abnormality. In the past four years, there have been a lot of highs and many, many lows. My Christ Care group has been there for all of them. They’ve sat with us at the hospital; they’ve let me cry with them; they’ve celebrated milestones with me. I give thanks to God often for their friendships. I am so blessed that we found St. Mark’s.

Best Friends

2014-10-15T14:47:00.001-05:00

Cooper and Semmes are best friends. Just ask Semmes. If you ask him, "Who is your best friend?" he will say, "Bubba" (his word for brother) without hesitation. We talk about Cooper all the time. Semmes laughs when Cooper laughs and cries when Cooper cries. It's sweet and something I want to instill in Semmes early: that Cooper, his special big brother, is his best friend.

Posts like this make me want to cry. Cooper will never protect Semmes like a ninja or have candid, never-ending talk sessions. He will never save him from trouble, share any secrets with him, or fight over silly things. And that's fine. There are many other ways to interact. I dream about waking up one morning to Semmes and Cooper in one bed because Semmes crawled in there with him overnight. I hope Semmes talks to Cooper, telling him all his secrets that he knows Cooper will never tell anyone. I want them to be best friends in this way, since there are so many ways that they can't be best friends. And this is why I have taught Semmes, all his life, that Cooper is his best friend.

The day ~~may~~ will come when Semmes will resent Cooper for something. Our little family of four will never be able to all play together; someone will always have to be with Cooper. We will have to take turns riding rides or swimming or kicking the ball or whatever. There is much you have to put aside when you have a child with special needs, and that's ok, but I know that at some point Semmes will complain and whine that it's unfair, and he will be right. It is unfair, but Cooper will still be his best friend. Because he was taught, from a young age, that Cooper is his brother, and therefore his best friend.

Do the right thing, people

2014-09-24T13:35:00.002-05:00

Cooper is the kid that if something is going around, he gets it. And it's always worse for him than for other kids; a cold in a typical kid is RSV to Cooper. So it drives me crazy when parents send their sick kids to school, takes them to an event/activity, or just in general gets them out and about when they have a fever.

Monday night, Semmes had a fever with a barking cough that made it pretty obvious he had croup. So I informed all the moms that we had been around that day and cancelled our plans for Tuesday. Early Tuesday morning, he woke up and was still warm and struggling a little with breathing, so we gave him an oral steroid and put him back in bed. When he woke back up for the day, he was GREAT. I mean, running around, full of energy, no fever, great. But I did the right thing and kept him home. Because one day of him being a little stir crazy at the house is worth not spreading nasty croup to everyone we come into contact with. He's totally fine today, and we ventured out into the world this morning, confident that we weren't going to be spreading germs everywhere we went.

Yesterday was the first day of fall. Along with pumpkins, gorgeous orange and red vistas, scarves, and boots comes colds, runny noses, and upper respiratory infections. Brad says the ER is already full of kids with croup, so do the right thing! Keep your sick kid home (and if you're sick, stay home).

Does this look like a sick kid (or for that matter, a BABY) to you?

Cooper's birthday party...only a month late

2014-09-17T13:07:00.003-05:00

We had a really fun 4th birthday party for Cooper last month (I am so far behind on blogging). It was a beach/summer theme party.

This is the super cute invitation. We had it on the Friday of Cooper's "summer break" from school. They get two days off between school years, so the teachers can do inservice and the kids can get new classrooms. We invited Cooper's class and a few of the kids came! We also had most of Semmes' toddler group, plus a few kids from church. It was a good time!

I got Cooper the cutest little beach shirt with his name on it.

We did beachy muffins (muffins since it was in the morning). They turned out so well!

Goldfish and Swedish fish in beach buckets.

The water was in an inflatable pool.

First, we played outside on the playground. Semmes ran around like crazy and Cooper liked the swing.

Then we came inside to sing happy birthday and eat some yummy snacks!

Semmes liked the snacks (go figure)

Cooper ate some frosting.

We loved getting to see all of our friends on a weekday!

We did it in the youth hall of our church. It was perfect for Cooper because we could put him in his pony and let him go!

He had so much fun!

Our attempt at a family picture:

We had such a good time celebrating our big four-year-old!!

Cooper and the pool

2014-09-13T20:05:00.001-05:00

All summer, Cooper has hated, HATED, the pool. This is strange for him, because he's liked the pool every other year. I don't know what it was about this year-the unusual coolness of the water maybe-but he was having none if it.

So when we got to the beach, we just continued to avoid the pool. Instead, he sat next to the pool while everyone else swam. Finally on Wednesday, I couldn't handle it anymore. It was late in the day, and if he got super mad it would be ok if we had to head back to the condo. Much to our surprise, he LOVED it. We put him in the water and he just laughed and laughed. He laughed like he was being ticked, uncontrollably. At one point, Brad actually thought I was ticking him-he was laughing that hard It was awesome.

So after that we ended our day at the pool. Cooper was already loving vacation and this just made it even better. The last day, we got pictures:

18 month/4 year appointments

2014-09-05T14:13:00.002-05:00

Wednesday, we had check-ups for both boys. Cooper was asleep when we got there, woke up in the exam room, and immediately began screaming. He stopped crying the minute we left the room. Oh Cooper. Semmes was not the biggest fan of having his head measured but was great other than that.

Semmes' measurements:

24.9 pounds (81st percentile, not surprising considering how much he eats)
32 inches tall (50th percentile)
head circumference is 19.5 inches (96th percentile, he has one HUGE head)

Cooper's measurements

38 inches (5th percentile)
36 pounds (50th percentile)

You see that percentile for his weight? He is completely normal, weight-wise!!! OMG. I feel like this is some sort of miracle. Now if we could just get him to get a little taller...

All-in-all it was a completely unremarkable visit. Semmes is completely normal, development-wise. We hadn't seen Dr. Becton for Cooper in so long (yay!) that she couldn't believe how big he had gotten. They're both doing just great!

Thoughts about Semmes

2014-08-31T12:48:00.003-05:00

Semmes was 17 months old on Tuesday, and he's great. So I want to write a quick post about some of the cute/funny/weird things he's up to at this stage.

1. He's a climber. I swear he sees a chair and thinks, "Challenge accepted!" And he's really good at it...until he tries to get down. The other day, I came into the kitchen and found him sitting on the kitchen table eating goldfish out of a bag. When he saw me, he immediately started stuffing goldfish into his mouth, chipmunk style, because he knew I was going to take them away. I think he got five or six in there before I got to him.

Hamming it up at the zoo:

2. He's never met a stranger. He says, "Hi!" and waves at everyone. Last Sunday was the start of the education year at church, so it was packed. I went and got him so he could take communion with us (he's eating the wafer now, obviously). When we came into church, everyone was praying in unison, but he stuck his hand into the air and started waving and yelling, "HI!!!" as loudly as he could. It caused a bit of a stir around us. Thankfully, he's super cute.

3. He loves books. And loves to "read." He'll just sit in his chair or on the floor and look at books. Plus, he knows tons of words now, so you'll see him pointing at things in books and saying their names. Or at least, his names for them.

Semmes and some friends at the zoo. He calls all of his friends "Etta," I think because it's the easiest name to say. Plus, she's the prettiest.

4. He knows lots of animal names, just not how to say them. Instead, most of the time, he just says the sound they make. So if you say, "cow," he says, "moo." He USED to say "oink" for a pig, but Brad taught him how to snort, so now that's what he does for pig. It's gross/weird.

Sixteen months:

5. He's learned to kiss. Books, his friends, us, Cooper, he kisses it all. And it's ridiculously cute.

6. He sleeps with Elmo and Ribbit, a giant frog. Every nap time and every night, he gets into my lap with Elmo and Ribbit and we read The Pout Pout Fish, then he sleeps. He calls the pout pout fish "Blub," since this is what the fish says. P.S. If you don't have that book, you should check it out. It's super cute.

Semmes at 17 months:

My four year old

2014-08-24T21:10:00.001-05:00

Tonight is the last night I put Cooper to bed as a three-year-old. How is that possible?! The last four years have seen some of my highest highs (basically every time Cooper smiles at me) and my lowest lows (seizures, every time he can't breathe, etc.). But I wouldn't change it. Cooper is awesome. And he's mine.

As Semmes grows and develops more and more, I often find myself playing the "what if" game. What if Cooper had been a typical kid? What would he be like now? What would my life be like? It's ridiculous and not fair to anyone, but I guess it's human nature to wonder. Most of the time I'm able to stamp down this melancholy part of myself, but I get sentimental around big moments like birthdays. And four is a big birthday.

There's something about Cooper being four that has me a little freaked out. For some reason, four just seems so big! FOUR. Even the word looks big to me (which is ridiculous, because three is a longer word). It might be that Cooper is now in the Pre-K class at school, even though we have two more years at The Allen School. It might be that Cooper just looks like a big boy now. He's long and lean, just like a four-year-old. Whatever it is, Cooper is a big kid now.

Happy birthday, Cooper! I love you to the moon and back!

Coper's Six Word Story

2014-08-21T17:08:00.002-05:00

Six word stories. Have ya'll heard of these? Ernest Hemingway wrote the first (and therefore most famous) one. His was: "For sale: baby shoes. Never worn." So much in just those six words.

NPR is kinda obsessed with these. They do all sorts of theme ones when they do lengthy reporting on a given topic (race, violence, etc.), so I've heard a lot of them. Recently, every day when I drive to and from Cooper's school, another school like Cooper's has a sign on their marquee inviting past attendees to submit six word stories for the school's 20th anniversary. So I've been thinking a lot about Cooper. And what his six word story would be. So here it is:

Cooper's condition does not define him.