My Domestic Church

Duggar Baby 19: Michelle Duggar Gives Birth to Daughter, Josie Brooklyn Duggar - ABC News

2009-12-11T12:58:00.000-05:00

Duggar Baby 19: Michelle Duggar Gives Birth to Daughter, Josie Brooklyn Duggar - ABC News

Prayers are definitely needed here. Little Josie was born at 25 weeks gestation so she will be in the hospital for quite some time. Michelle too will need lots of prayer support as she recovers from her emergency Cesarean.

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Mr. Rogers from Michigan on Health Care

2009-12-11T10:32:00.001-05:00

A star is born.

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7- Quick Takes Friday

2009-12-11T09:49:00.000-05:00

Join Jen and the other Quicktakers over at the Conversion Diary.

1. I put something on eBay this week. This is the first time since my mom died that I have ventured back into selling. Part of that is because I was so busy, but part of it was because of the bad experience we had on eBay back in May and June. But we decided that it would be nice to sell something for extra Christmas cash and so we are selling an oboe. Ebay seems like a much different place. A year ago we would have had over 100 visitors with maybe 15 to 20 people watching and possibly even a bid or two. But this year we've only had 27 visits so far and only one person watching. The guy who runs the storage facility where I have a lot of mom's things told me that he stopped selling on eBay altogether. He just wasn't moving anything. I wonder if the economy is going to put an end to eBay? as if their own stupid policies weren't enough.

2. SLO had a port put in her arm last week. This is for her chemotherapy. It's been bothering her ever since she got it but yesterday hear arm looked larger than the other one, purplish and a little warm. So we went over to the vascular center to have it checked out. Five minutes later they told us this was "normal." I guess that's subjective.

3. Sam got the results of the PSAT test back and they weren't good. This absolutely surprised me because he took the PLAN test last spring and did great! But PSAT is for the SAT and college board and the PLAN test is for the ACT and maybe this gives us a clue in what direction we should be heading. Sam was really upset. But on researching it, there really different philosophies and strategies for the two companies and since most of the colleges around here seem to accept either, I think we will concentrate our efforts on the ACT. Blog post on that next week!

4. I am shopping for the girls and Calvin. Mr. Pete is buying for the boys and one boyish gift for Izzy that she asked for. We are almost done with Christmas shopping. I am so glad. Our gifts to them were practical but I think they will also be pleased. I was really inspired by Regina's post on Christmas presents although I didn't get an early enough start to be all of that. Maybe next year.

5. I still have to order Christmas cards. Why am I dragging my feet on that...

6. Well, it's because I give myself the actual 12 days of Christmas to send them out! They are Christmas cards, not Advent cards - so theoretically I still have plenty of time!

7. If you've been reading my "Dearest Daughter"series of letters, you'll know that 51 years ago this month, my pregnant mother came home from New Mexico to visit her mother. And they were all excited about the new little baby that was coming - me!! This has been haunting me all week. Did I live up to the promise and expectations? Was my birth everything they hoped? I dunno. About 27 months later my mom came home again, pregnant again and with a toddler. That time she stayed and her marriage remained in tatters until the 1990s. My sister and I have ambivalent feelings about my father and I am so surprised to read the nice things my grandma wrote about him, knowing that the awful things she would say about him in my ears within the next dozen years or so. I am also struck by the changes in that half of a century. My grandmother and mother both gone - a lot of the people that grandma mentions in her letters are also gone. The hoped-for baby is a middle aged mother of 6. And as I approach my 51st Christmas I feel a sense of urgency and unrest. How many Christmases left - will I ever get "it" right?

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My Domestic Church Daily Clips 12/11/2009

2009-12-10T22:30:00.001-05:00

Pinched - Salon.com
Excellent article about a young man avoiding debt by living in his van while he goes to grad school!
tags: no_tag
- I pledged that I wouldn't take out loans. Nor would I accept money from anybody, especially my mother, who, appalled by my experiment, offered to rent me an apartment each time I called home. My heat would be a sleeping bag; my air conditioning, an open window. I'd shower at the gym, eat the bare minimum and find a job to pay tuition. And -- for fear of being caught -- I wouldn't tell anybody.
  
  Living on the cheap wasn't merely a way to save money and stave off debt; I wanted to live adventurously. I wanted to test my limits. I wanted to find the line between my wants and my needs. I wanted, as Thoreau put it, "to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life … to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms."
  
  It wouldn't be hard for me to remain frugal. After buying the van and making my first tuition payment, I was only a few dollars away from having to rummage through Dumpsters to find my next meal. I was -- by conventional first-world definitions -- poor. While I faced little risk of malnutrition or disease like the truly poor, I still I didn't own an iPod, and I smelled sometimes.
- To pay off my debt, I'd found jobs that provided free room and board. I moved to Coldfoot, Alaska -- 60 miles north of the Arctic Circle and 250 from the nearest store -- where I worked as a lodge cleaner, a tour guide and a cook. Later, I worked on a trail crew in Mississippi in an AmeriCorps program. Between jobs I hitchhiked more than 7,000 miles to avoid paying airfare. When I couldn't find work, I moved in with friends. My clothes came from donation bins, I had friends cut my hair, and I'd pick up odd jobs when I could. Nearly every dime I made went into my loans.
- The idea of "thrift," once an American ideal, now seems almost quaint to many college students, particularly those at elite schools. The typical student today is not so frugal. Few know where the money they're spending is coming from and even fewer know how deep they're in debt. They're detached from the source of their money. That's because there is no source. They're getting paid by their future selves.

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

My Domestic Church Daily Clips 12/10/2009

2009-12-09T22:30:00.001-05:00

American Thinker: The Taliban's Response to Obama Afghanistan Policy
The misguided Afghanistan "policy."
tags: obama, current, events, areyousorryyet?
- President Obama's speech this week to the nation about his "plan" for the war in Afghanistan doesn't please very many in this country. Apparently, it doesn't impress the enemy either.
- It took a day to get the translation done, but the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan (the Taliban) now has a response. It is a warning for America: Get ready to die
- 1. Rather than 40,000 troops surged to the war zone as his general recommends, Obama will "dribble" in 30,000 over the next twelve months. Why only 30,000? We weren't told.
- 2. As soon as the 30,000 extra troops are finally on the ground in Afghanistan next year, Obama intends to begin withdrawing them. Why? Because he says so.
- The non-profit counterterrorism organization "Nine-Eleven Finding Answers" Foundation (NEFA Foundation) has obtained, translated, and transcribed a statement from the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan, which has been issued in response to President Obama's directive on the Afghanistan war.
- He wants to lessen the sensitivities of the Afghans about the surge of 30,000 troops through the ploy of ostensibly starting troops' withdrawal in 2011. He also intends to decrease the opposition of the American public (to the troops surge) and encourage his international Allies to send more troops. But this stratagem will not pay off.
- 1. The reinforcement will result in (their) fatalities....
- the reinforcement of the American troops and other tactics will not have impact on the status quo. But the reinforcements will provide better opportunities for the Mujahedeen to launch offensives. On the other hand, it will deepen the crisis of the American economy which is already in shambles.
- 3. Obama's assertion to increase and train more soldiers and police for the Kabul Administration is pointless and not result-oriented....
- ..The Mujahedeen have high morale and complete readiness and believe that Obama's new strategy will fail like it did previously. It will face fiasco
- We deem it necessary to remind the American rulers if you persist in your aggressive policy, America will end up being disintegrated itself, instead of maintaining the occupation in Afghanistan....

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

2009-12-09T16:07:00.002-05:00

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Works for Me Wednesday- Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book

2009-12-09T09:45:00.009-05:00

Fight after SLO was diagnosed with breast cancer, I went out and bought
Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book.

I had first heard about Dr. Susan Love and her book about 11 years ago when I was typing for a female general surgeon. Every time one of her patients had an abnormal breast finding, be it a cyst or a malignancy, this doctor would recommend that she get this book and read it. She said it was like an owner's manual for breasts.

The first part of the book indeed is about the normal breast and how it should function. Some La Leche or baby wearing moms might not agree with the author's assessment of exclusive breastfeeding but she states that as opinion and not fact. the rest of that section is still very informative.

The second half of the book deals with breast cancer and breast cancer treatment. I found that to be invaluable as I got information from SLO and was able to look it up to understand it better and also to learn more about her surgery and treatments.

It's written in a no-nonsense manner specifically for lay people. But that doesn't mean it's written down. All of the medical jargon is explained. I still keep this book with me and to look up things as questions arise. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who has a loved one going through breast cancer or for anyone who simply wants to understand breast physiology and cancer treatments better.

Works for Me!

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Mommy Life: Elisabeth Elliot on Too Many Children

2009-12-09T09:29:00.000-05:00

The other day I posted a study that reported that families with lots of children seemed to be happier than families did not. Actually the exact words were:

"The study also concluded that the more children a married couple has, the greater the life satisfaction, especially for women. "

That was on my mind when I came across this essay by Elisabeth Eliot over on Barbara Curtis's Mommy Life Blog.:

Emphasis here mine.

"Too Many Children?

When I learned that my daughter Valerie was expecting number five, my insides tied themselves in knots.

Val and Walt were both very peaceful about it, willing to receive this child as they had received the others--as a gift from the Lord, remembering His words, 'Whoever welcomes this child in my name welcomes me' (Luke 9:48, NIV). But my imagination ran to the future and its seeming impossibilities--'Poor dear Val. She has her hands more than full. What will she do with five?' Before she was married Valerie had told me that she hoped the Lord would give her six. I had smiled to myself, thinking she would probably revise that number after the first three or four. Practical considerations rose like thunderclouds in my mind. Money. Another room to be built onto the house. Homeschooling (Valerie was teaching two already!) How would the new child receive the attention he needed? Etc., etc.

Then I began to look at the advantages. I was one of six children myself, and loved growing up in a big family. Children learn early what it means to help and to share, to take responsibility and to make sacrifices, to give place to others, to cooperate and deny themselves. Why all this turmoil in my soul? Well, because I loved my child! She was tired! Her hands were full! Maybe later, maybe when the others were old enough to help more, maybe... O Lord!

I tried to talk to God about it. Breakfast time came, we ate, washed dishes, school began in the children's schoolroom, and I went to my room, my heart churning. What does one do?

I write this because troubled young women have come to me not understanding their mothers' reactions to the news of another baby. Was it resentment? Did they not love the grandchildren they had? Why would they not want more? Was it nothing but a meddle-some yen to run their children's lives? Was it a revelation of a worse attitude--an unwillingness to let God be God?

It was this last question that I knew I must wrestle with as I knelt in the bedroom. Most things that trouble us deeply come down to that. I had to bring each of my wrong responses definitely and specifically to God, lay them honestly before Him (He already knew exactly what I was thinking), confess my pride and silliness, and then, just as definitely accept His sovereign and loving will for Valerie, for her family, and for me as the granny. Only God knew how many countless others, even in future generations, He had in mind in bringing this particular child into the Shepard family. He was granting this family the privilege of offering sacrifices for Him, participating in His grand designs. YES, LORD. Your will is my conscious choice. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else.

Even though the feelings don't evaporate at once, they have been surrendered, and the Lord knows what to do with them. Mine had to be surrendered over and over again, but He took them, and over the next few days He transformed them. And when the news of Number Six was broken to me two years later, I was able to say Thank You, Lord, and to add that tiny unknown one to my prayer list.

Evangeline Mary, born November 9, 1988, was lovingly welcomed by all."

It all struck such a cord with me because I remembered how my own mother was so dismayed every time she found out my sister or I was pregnant. And she too said it was because she dreaded the difficulties that we would have to endure. Yet she too loved every single one of her grandchildren dearly and I know that they gave her some measure of comfort in her last days.

Also, in thinking it through, I remember feeling so surrounded by love and a sense of belonging surrounded by my children, my sister and her children at mom's funeral. We were family. We were a small "clan." We belonged to each other and for each other even though our matriarch had just died. And I had a sense of pride and satisfaction as well as love and and belonging with this family. Maybe, as Ms. Eliot implies, the large family benefits not only the parents, but the whole branch of the family tree - indeed the entire tree and the community it's planted in! Why do we doubt it?

My Dearest Daughter

2009-12-08T11:50:00.002-05:00

In 1958 my mother got married and moved across the country. These are the letters written to her, mainly by her mother, between 1958 and 1960. Others in the series are in my del.icio.us file.

December 12, 1958

Our Very Dears:

We received your very lovely letter yesterday Maryrose, and we all got such a thrill out of it. I don't think anyone ever waited for time to pass as we have lately, and with time getting short for some of us, that is something to wish time to pass quicker. Eh?

First of all let me tell you that we went downtown yesterday and bought a Westinghouse Electric Roaster at Hubbard's and they are shipping it out today. It will go out by Railway Express, and we figured that Hubbard's would know how to pack it so that it will get out there in good condition. It is one of the delux models, you can do everything with it, and in the bottom of it there is a little sliding tray that gives you an enormous amount of information as to time and temperature for every kind of food. You can bake in this thing too. If we could afford it we would have gotten you a toaster too, but you'll get that for your birthday, one of those Hostess Tray Toasters. I hope you like the colors in the Roaster.

Our shopping is just about done. We didn't have too much to do, it just doesn't seem like Christmas at all around here. Calvin tries so hard, but it seems like more than half the fun is gone since you are not here. We always had so much fun this time of year.

Calvin wanted a hi-fi set, so I gave him some money towards one and yesterday he bought one at Hubbards. It is an RCA Victor and it has the plug for the stereo addition. It is very nice, and sometime after the first of the year, he will get the additional box, the stereo box.

Dad's ankle is getting well slowly. If he stands or walks on it very much it swells up so he keeps it bandaged up. He tickles me so. When you were at home he just kinda took things for granted. Now it seems your being home is on his mind so much. This other night he said "Just think, in a few days Maryrose will be in her room again, it will be like old times, and yet it won't but it will be so nice to have her there won't it."

Calvin too. So often we speak of the baby and of course we say that you will be living too far away for us to enjoy the baby much, and Calvin will say, "Well yes, it is too far away, but I am so glad that she is happy and it feels so good to think of being an Uncle actually instead of a make-believe uncle to somebody else's kids."

I called Mrs. Sunstedt day before yesterday and she is progressing slowly. She isn't going out yet, but when you are home she wants us all to go over for an evening. Oscar and Nancy will be home and maybe Betty. Sunsteds were supposed to go to Betty's for Christmas, but with her getting so sick they can't. It will be a long drawn out illness. Of course I don't understand why she should have gotten so anemic since she is always baking things to build her blood up. She proceeded to tell me what all you you should take for your benefit and teh baby's so I just agreed with her and let it go at that. I do believe that your Doctor should know what you need. There are so many things that we want to ask you when you get here, so be prepared to have your ear pounded a lot!

Are you having as much snow out there as New York is? Think of it - 6 1/2 feet! That is not all of New york, just Otsego, New York. I think we are having a much more severe winter this year than last.

Did you know that we do not have a newspaper? The Journal hs been out on strike for two weeks now. I never realized just how much we liked having the thing around until we have had to do without it. Calvin and I passed some of the pickets yesterday, and I said to one of them, "When are you going to settle this thing so we can have our paper again," and the may said, "Oh one of these days," and Calvin said, "Well I sure miss Joe Palooka. The may roared and said, "Boy you sure got a lot of catching up to do haven't you."

There are rumors that perhaps the strike will be settled soon. Now the New York papers are striking. I think people are so silly sometimes.

Boy we got our tax statement yesterday. Our taxes were doubled last year and this year they are just about doubled again. I wonder what they will be after they pave Irish Road next year, and then pave Bristol Road in 1960. No wonder so many people sell their houses and buy a house trailer.

Well, my drudgery has started. Yesterday I stuffed Father D's Christmas calendars and stamped the envelops. I have been working on the Sunday envelops too and maybe I can get them pretty well out today. I'm not sure but I am so glad always when these things are done. Then Father D. announced that we would have to have the annual report for the bishop out by the 1st of January because he is going away on the 2nd. He is flying to Mexico. Sometimes I sure feel like throwing up my hands. On top of it all the end of the year things to do, he decided to try to organize the altar society again. So he had some cards printed with different things the ladies might be interested in doing, then asked me to put the names in alphabetical order and then to put the names interested in some activity together. There are about 14 activities listed, and some of the ladies are interested in all 14 activities. Believe me that was quite a job. Writing the same name 14 different times, and noting whether or not they could get to the meetings. There are actually about two dozen women in the parish who are absolutely not interested in anything. It would be nice if he did get an active Altar Society, it sure is a dead one right now.

Oh yes, maybe you should suggest to Pete that he get that back door un-warped. You know you have no fire protection out there and the door should be usable. I take it you are going to have two rooms? One for your kitchen and one for your general room?

You two have chosen very nice names for the little one. Calvin said, "She is using my middle name too!" Dad is so pleased. Yes, Elena is correct and thank you so much. You should be getting quite a lot of letters from here, I have given your address to quite a few people.

Well I am getting so I am wandering about so I must be run out of news. It seems funny that you have to make arrangements from out there to come here, because you don' t from here to there.

Anyway, I'll close now. We hope and pray that you do not have a severe winter, and that Pete won't have to work too hard this winter. But I will think it is funny not to have barns to house the sheep and cattle in during the bad weather. It seems to me that in time, what you have lost in cattle and sheep would build quite a barn or pole barn. I am very much interested in the pole barn type of sheds for the cattle. Joe Spzis has built one, and is enclosed on three sides, one side is open, and he houses three hundred steers in the thing. I don't know why something like that wouldn't be just the thing out there, but then those people just know what they are doing. We didn't see any barns or sheds when we were out there together did we?

Say "Hi" to Lucy and Mrs. Esquibel and give our best wishes will you?

God bless you both and keep you, lovingly

Mom

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Feast of the Immaculate Conception : The Mary Candle

2009-12-08T11:39:00.000-05:00

Inspired by the blogger at Feast of the Immaculate Conception : Family in Feast and Feria as well as this thread, Izzy and I made our own candle for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

I bought a simple white candle at Walmart. Izzy found a picture of Mary to color on line. Then we glued it to the candle and to set it- we melted wax and rolled our candle in the wax to give it a coating and protect it to the candle. I think it turned out pretty well for a first effort! We will light it tonight for dinner!

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My Domestic Church Daily Clips 12/08/2009

2009-12-07T22:30:00.001-05:00

British study finds marriage and children increase happiness
I try to tell people this, but they don't always listen to me!
tags: Catholic, marriage, motherhood
- The study also concluded that the more children a married couple has, the greater the life satisfaction, especially for women.
Rosaries.com-Rosary Indulgences
tags: Catholic, rosary

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

A Plenary Indulgence is granted on the solemnity of the Immaculate Conception

2009-12-07T20:29:00.000-05:00

A Plenary Indulgence is granted on the solemnity of the Immaculate Conception: "APOSTOLIC PENITENTIARY

URBIS ET ORBIS

DECREE

A Plenary Indulgence is granted to the faithful
this year on 8 December,
Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary,
the 40th anniversary of the closure of the Second Vatican Council,
by the Supreme Pontiff, Servant of God Paul VI.

God's marvellous and beneficial works for his People must always be remembered with thanksgiving, especially on those feast days that are anniversaries of events most important to the life of the Church.

The eighth of December, Holyday of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, is now at hand. On that day it will be 40 years since the Servant of God Paul VI, the Supreme Pontiff who had already proclaimed the Virgin Mary as Mother of the Church, in closing the Second Vatican Council, highly praised Our Lady, who as Mother of Christ is Mother of God and the spiritual Mother of us all.

On this Solemnity, when the Supreme Pontiff Benedict XVI will be paying a public tribute of praise to the Immaculate Virgin, he deeply desires that the heart of the whole Church be united with him so that all the faithful, gathered in the name of our common Mother, may be further strengthened in the Faith, bound with greater devotion to Christ, and love their brothers and sisters with more fervent charity: as the Second Vatican Council taught with great wisdom, this results in works of mercy for the indigent, the observance of justice, and the defence and search for peace.

Therefore, the Holy Father, who has very much at heart that the love and trust of the faithful towards the Virgin Mother of God be increased and that their lives, with the help and example of her holiness, be faithfully conformed to the wise teachings of the Second Vatican Council, in hierarchical communion with himself and with his Bishops, has benevolently granted the gift of the Plenary Indulgence.

On the upcoming Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, the faithful may obtain this Indulgence on the usual conditions (sacramental Confession, Eucharistic Communion and prayer for the intentions of the Supreme Pontiff), in a spirit that is completely detached from affection for any sin, if they participate in a sacred rite in its honour or at least offer an open witness of Marian devotion before an image of Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception, displayed for public veneration, adding the recitation of the Our Father and the Creed and exclamatory invocations to Mary Immaculate, such as 'You are All Fair, Mary, and in you there is no stain of original sin!', or 'O Queen, conceived without original sin, pray for us!'.

Lastly, all the faithful who are prevented from participation by ill health or by another just cause, may obtain on that same day the same gift of the Plenary Indulgence at home or wherever they may be, as long as, with their minds detached from any sin and with the resolution to fulfil the above-mentioned conditions as soon as possible, they are united with spiritual resolve and desire with the intentions of the Supreme Pontiff in prayer to Mary Immaculate and recite the Our Father and the Creed."

Simple Woman

2009-12-07T08:51:00.000-05:00

Outside my window...

This is what it sort of looks like around here now.

I am thinking...
of how peaceful Christmas can be if you just concentrate on Advent first!!! Mr. Pete and I don't get bogged down in a lot of Christmas shopping. We get a few things for the kids and some loved ones and then enjoy the time - not the stuff!!

I am thankful for...
all the people in my life, family and dear friends. That is what makes the holiday season special.

From the learning rooms...
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe with Noah and Gabe this week. We will also start the Screwtape Letters which Sam starts on Huck Finn! I'm doing something a little different as far as writing goes. Gabe will be taking an intensive online 10 day course with CurrClick. Very affordable at $60 considering four years ago I paid a teacher $40 a month for a year to teach Sam the very same thing!! We'll see how it goes.

From the kitchen...
Pot roast tonight. White dinner tomorrow for the feast of the Immaculaet Conception.

I am wearing...
Black pants and a gray shirt I hate but I need to do some laundry

I am creating...
Memories this week- tonight the boys sing for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception which will be extra special for us as our new pastor will be installed. Tomorrow we are having an all white dinner to celebrate the feast day. Saturday will be Mexican fare to celebrate Our Lady of Guadalupe.

I am going...
order my Christmas cards tomorrow!!

I am reading...
Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book:4th Edition 2005
The Divine Office for Dodos: A Step-By-Step Guide to Praying the Liturgy of the Hours

I am hoping...
to be more peaceful and prayerful during this Advent season. I am also hoping that Calvin will find his way in life.

I am hearing...
buzzing in my ears - again.

Around the house...

everyone is still sleeping!

A few plans for the rest of the week:
1. Walk or exercise tape every day.
2. Get the house in order at least the basement and first floor.
3. Put the Christmas tree out at Raphael's grave site and think of someway to decorate Mom's niche?

A picture I am sharing:

Christmas card 2009

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Sunday Snippets

2009-12-06T19:46:00.000-05:00

Sunday Snippets--A Catholic Carnival is a weekly opportunity to share our best posts with the wider Catholic blogging community. To participate, create a post highlighting posts that would be of interest to Catholics and link to the host blog at This That and the Other Blog. Go to the host blog and leave a comment giving a link to your post.

Quite a few posts for this busy week of Advent:
St. Nicholas Breakfast
Our Jesse Tree
Bible Movies for Advent.
Feast of Saint Nicholas
Feast of St. Andrew

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A St. Nicholas Breakfast!

2009-12-06T15:56:00.000-05:00

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Our Jessee Tree in Pictures

2009-12-06T15:42:00.000-05:00

A simple branch, spray painted.

An old coffee or paint can.

Sink a plastic or metal tube in your container and fix it in with a little quick setting cement.

Decorate with tinsel

Every day hang a Jessee Tree ornament that you create!
Jesse tree ornaments
Jessee tree symbols downloadable.
From Domestic Church Fridge Art - these are the ones I use!

Make ornaments and hang once a day!

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Filed Under Mothers Love Your Babies

2009-12-06T12:26:00.000-05:00

I have another category in my Del.icio.us files called mothersloveyourbabies (Mothers love your babies) which highlights stories and links to some heroic and loving women who have decided to birth and raise their special babies despite extraordinary circumstances.

This blog became the center for such a controversy about five years ago. Since then I continue to have stories e-mailed to me about such extraordinary moms and also about babies with the condition holoprosencephaly.

That condition made the newsfeeds twice this week. This first story is from the UK, excerpts below.

Motherhood suits Jacqueline Gold. After a seven-year struggle to conceive, and at an age when many women have put parenting behind them, the 49-year-old chief executive of lingerie chains Ann Summers and Knickerbox is relishing every moment she spends with her seven-month-old daughter Scarlett. Down on the floor, interacting with her baby – who is as calm and contented as her mother – it’s clear that she regards this child as the greatest achievement in her hugely successful life.
But there is a shadow over Jacqueline’s happiness that makes this special time bittersweet for her and her 32-year-old fiancé Dan Cunningham. At the Children’s Trust in Surrey – a centre that cares for the severely disabled – Scarlett’s twin brother Alfie requires 24-hour care for a fatal condition known as alobar holoprosencephaly. It is an outcome to a longed-for pregnancy that the couple could never have imagined and which haunts them every moment of the day.
Jacqueline had always wanted children but the break-up of her first marriage – and her career as one of the most powerful women in British retailing with a business that has a £150 million gross annual turnover – had conspired to put her among the growing number of women who find themselves in their late 30s and early 40s battling with infertility. Having met Dan in early 2002 she decided that the time was finally right for her to have a family.
Last autumn when Jacqueline and Dan discovered that she had conceived, they were ecstatic. The fact that Jacqueline was expecting twins only added to their joy, but when she was 12 weeks pregnant the doctors discovered a problem. One of the babies was suffering from a rare condition in which the forebrain of the embryo fails to develop, causing defects in brain function and potentially in the development of the face.
‘It was a terrible shock. The consultant told me that the abnormality was fatal; that he [the baby] would not survive. Most babies with this condition would miscarry or be terminated. As it was a twin pregnancy, I opted not to have a termination. I regret that decision now. It was a very hard choice to make, and Dan and I were devastated by the news.’
Jacqueline’s recollection of the days after the birth is hazy. She knows she cried on and off as she struggled to breast-feed Scarlett and overcome the pain and trauma of the birth. It wasn’t until five days later that Jacqueline was told that her son was breathing without a tube and able to feed from a bottle.
‘It was like my baby had been reborn – this baby that I was told wouldn’t survive. I cried every time I went to see him for the first four weeks. I felt such sadness when I saw how vulnerable he was, and I felt anger because I didn’t think he should have been brought into the world to endure such suffering. And I felt frightened. I still feel all those emotions today because every day I get closer to him and yet I know what the inevitable outcome will be.’
Alfie stayed in UCLH until he was four months old, when he was offered a place at the Children’s Trust where they have the facilities and expertise to give him the best possible quality of life. Jacqueline is full of praise for the staff, describing their dedication and kindness as ‘humbling’.
An essentially positive person, Jacqueline has found the experience of the past six months difficult to comprehend. There have been surprises in their journey – Alfie is visibly content and has smiled a few times, and Jacqueline says that the love and concern that she and Dan share for their little son has strengthened and deepened their relationship.
Jacqueline’s one big haunting regret – and the reason that she is giving such an honest and emotional interview – is that she didn’t ask more questions of the consultant (she won’t name him) who told her unequivocally at 12 weeks that her baby would not survive. She is anxious to pass on the message to any other parents who find themselves in a similar situation that they need to keep asking questions and keep seeking other opinions.
She now knows that up to 20 per cent of babies with alobar holoprosencephaly do survive. When she compares that statistic with the five per cent chance of a termination of one twin causing the miscarriage of the other, she now thinks she would have made a different decision.
‘If we had known; if we had been given the proper information that would have enabled us to make an informed decision, we would have opted for a selective termination. We absolutely adore both our children, but to see the suffering that Alfie is going through is just so terrible I cannot put it into words.’
'Normally we know what the future looks like, but because we don’t know if his life will come to an end tomorrow or in two years’ time, it is difficult. But, you know, I also want to stress that despite everything we are going through, we are really enjoying Scarlett. Being her mother is the greatest honour and joy,’ she says, looking down on her now sleeping daughter.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-1230579/Jaqueline-Gold--We-adore-children-Alfie-s-suffering-makes-angry-frightened.html#ixzz0YvdL3wQg

I have a couple of comments on this.
1. Younger women can learn a lot from this woman's experience. If you postpone having your children, you may not be able to have them without great difficulty and great expense.

2. Unconditional mother love means that you love your baby despite its handicaps and limitations. It means many many times that you come alongside with your child while he or she is suffering. We don't know how to see or look for grace and goodness from hardships any more.

3. Serving your children does not mean that you can ever make it all better! But you can love and support them along the way. I can't fathom the idea that because the child or your circumstances isn't perfect that it would be better for the child to not exist.

4. I'm equally surprised that at the age of 49 she hasn't figured out that we never know what the future looks like! We might think we do, but that's an illusion.

The second story has the same result with a happier ending.

Baby Bennett beats the odds (OneNewsNow.com): "WTAE anchor Kelly Frey's unborn baby was diagnosed with holoprosencephaly, a severe malformation of the brain which results in death in the womb, or shortly after birth. But against the odds, the baby was born alive, breathing on his own and kicking and screaming for life.

In Frey's interview about the situation, she says, 'I was so overwhelmed [that] I was almost scared to touch him at first because I was not in disbelief, but somewhat in disbelief that here is this child that we had lived with the knowledge for all those months that he was going to die, and that here he was bundled up.'

Bennett, the baby, has undergone three serious operations since his September 22 birthday. He survived seven weeks of hospitalization and now faces more medical treatment, but has been released to go home with his parents. Frey's doctor, Margaret Pettigrew, comments on the surprises Bennett has constantly provided.

'I think what it says [is] that anything can change at any time,' says Pettigrew. 'There definitely should be hope and faith that no matter what, because like I said at the very beginning, we are ultimately not in charge of any of this -- and that this is truly a miracle.'"

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Bible movies during the first weeks of Advent

2009-12-05T16:39:00.000-05:00

Many liturgical Christians including Catholics prepare for Christmas by making a Jesse tree and following the scripture readings that go with each day of the season. My family and I use the pictures with the associated readings from the Domestic Church.com. The pictures are fun for the kids to color in. I then cover them with clear plastic, cut them out and put a ribbon through them to hang on the Jesse tree.

Our Jesse tree was pretty easy to make too. We took an old coffee can, filled it about half way with quick setting cement, and sunk a metal tube in the middle of it. We placed a branch we found lying around outside into the tube and covered it with decorations we bought at the craft store. These are what we hang our Jesse Tree ornaments from. This stays up until Christmas.

Since we are going through the readings of early Advent, I always find it an appropriate time to show some of my favorite bible movies produced by Turner Network Television (TNT). I enjoy these films because they are well made, entertaining, and seem to grasp the children's attention.

I also like them because of how they seem to accurately portray what life was like during biblical times. The terrain is difficult, the weather is intense, the clothing is simple, and there is a lot of energy spent on simply surviving. Yet God is such a large part of their lives and their lifestyle.

Of the series, my favorites are Abraham and Joseph and Moses.

Abraham is played by the late Richard Harris. He portrays the patriarch as very simple, devoted and brave. Harris made the role his own and as a viewer I found myself very sympathetic to many of the situations in which he finds himself with running such a huge clan. Through it all Abraham's faithfulness is striking in this performance.

The movie of Joseph is also well done. When Joseph finds himself at a real low point of captivity and prison, the director masterfully illustrates for us how even our despair and desolation are used as part of God's masterful plan. As an adult I have thought about Joseph, and particularly the seen from this movie, when Joseph ask God why he has forsaken him, many times. It is a powerful film.

But Ben Kingsley is not to be missed in Moses. When his Moses knees at the burning bush and shakes his head crying, "not me, not me, not me!" it makes me laugh every time. What adult Christian following a call has not said that a time or two.

Parts of these stories do sale over the heads of the younger children, although they can follow the gist of the story. But I have found that every year they pick up more and more and can even comment on how closely they follow the actual scriptures.

So before the Christmas tree goes up and the DVD gets warmed up to play Christmas fare, my recommendation is to spend sometime making a Jesse tree, and then follow our salvation history with some of these great movies.

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My Domestic Church Daily Clips 12/05/2009

2009-12-04T22:30:00.001-05:00

CHOCOLATE FOR YOUR BRAIN!: Poster Children for NFP
Well said!
tags: Catholic, NFP
- Still, upon reflection, I came to understand that we are NFP poster children. Only if the goal is to have no children, are we not. The fact that we have nine is more a tribute to my stellar book keeping skills and our great love, than the efficiency or effectiveness of NFP. If you succeed in keeping your family small using this method, it is because you have practiced the virtues of obedience and patience and sacrifice --all beautiful virtues which God loves. You have followed God's plan. If you sometimes ignore, forget, or willfully chose to ignore the times when one must abstain to avoid conception, you have abandoned yourself to life, to love, to a future of hope, and allowed yourself to be used in the great first gift of creation, also virtues that God loves. Either way, NFP places you firmly on the path to God.
Unexpected drop in jobless rate sparks optimism - Yahoo! Finance
tags: Obama, currentevents, areyousorryyet?
- The rate unexpectedly fell to 10 percent, from 10.2 percent in October, as employers cut the fewest number of jobs since the recession began. The government also said 159,000 fewer jobs were lost in September and October than first reported.
  If part-time workers who want full time jobs and laid-off workers who have given up looking for jobs are included, the so-called underemployment rate also fell, to 17.2 percent from 17.5 percent in October.
  The better-than-expected figures provided a rare dose of good news for a labor market that's lost 7.2 million jobs in two years. The unemployment rate hadn't fallen since July. Still, the respite may be temporary.
Catholic Fire: Advent Resources 2009
tags: Catholic, advent

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

Decorating the Jesse Tree

2009-12-04T21:45:00.001-05:00

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2009-12-04T15:28:00.002-05:00

Join Jen and the other Quicktakers over at the Conversion Diary.

1. I think it is very important for only mature people with a modicum of study in psychology to man the front desks at mammography centers! A woman at Izzy's art class told me that she had a lovely chat with the receptionist at our local mammography center. But when her mammogram showed something suspicious, that same receptionist could barely look her in the eye on the way out. Something even more disconcerting happened to SLO (although I'm sure we will look back at this in later years and laugh.) SLO sat in the waiting room and watched woman after woman come out, pay their bill and get a receipt before they walked out the door. But when SLO left the office, the receptionist chased her down to hand her a breast-cancer-pink Teddy bear with a look and voice that just oozed sympathy. Handing it to SLO she said with big doe eyes, "Here," and then walked away. I guess the moral of that story is that if your mammography center tries to give you something sentimental and comforting after your mammogram - run away. And if it's a pink Teddy bear, threaten to beat them with it!

2. Mr. Pete is back from his big New Mexico adventure. This has been the second big legal battle of my lifetime and what I have learned from both of these experiences is that when it comes to law- might makes right. The guy with the deeper pockets has the advantage. Which doesn't mean that the little guy can't win - but it will cost - a lot.

3. Part of the flexibility of homeschooling means- homeschooling on Saturday, which we are going to do this week because I don't know what next week is going to be like with SLO and chemotherapy. Flexibility also meant that all the kids could stay up last night until their Daddy got home after midnight, but could sleep in late the next day and still get a full school day in. People ask me all the time how I manage to homeschool, but I don't see how people with kids in regular school manage having to work extraordinary circumstances into set time parameters. My hat is off to the folks that can do it.

4. So last night we had our first rehearsal with the church bell choir for Riu Riu Chiu. This is the first time EVER that Gabe has had to play drums with a group outside of his rock band with Sam and it unnerved him a little bit. This piece is in 4/4 and 5/4 and even some 2/4 time so it demands a lot of COUNTING! As I had my own flute part to play I couldn't stand by Gabe to coach him, but Sam did and by the end of the rehearsal Gabe was doing pretty good. At least we were all ending together and that's something!

Afterwards, Sam walked over to his guitar lesson and was telling his teacher that he was helping Gabe play some funky piece in 4/4, 5/4 and 2/4 time and the teacher said, "Sounds like, Riu Riu Chiu!" and Sam was thoroughly impressed!

5. A beautiful version of Riu Riu Chiu!

6. I finally broke down and bought my own copy of the O Antiphon music for our home this Advent season! Can't wait to play it.

7. Funny article on the "dirt" the 11 AP fact checkers came up with on Sarah Palin's new book,

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My Domestic Church Daily Clips 12/04/2009

2009-12-03T22:30:00.001-05:00

Opinion: Searching in Vain for the Obama Magic - SPIEGEL ONLINE - News - International
Why Obama's speech on Tuesday just didn' t resonate.
tags: obama, current, events, areyousorryyet?
- One didn't have to be a cadet on Tuesday to feel a bit of nausea upon hearing
  Obama's speech. It was the least truthful address that he has ever held. He spoke of responsibility, but almost every sentence smelled of party tactics. He demanded sacrifice, but he was unable to say what it was for exactly.
- The speech continued in that vein. It was as though Obama had taken one of his old campaign speeches and merged it with a text from the library of ex-President George W. Bush. Extremists kill in the name of Islam, he said, before adding that it is one of the "world's great religions." He promised that responsibility for the country's security would soon be transferred to the government of President Hamid Karzai -- a government which he said was "corrupt." The Taliban is dangerous and growing stronger. But "America will have to show our strength in the way that we end wars," he added.
  
  It was a dizzying combination of surge and withdrawal, of marching to and fro. The fast pace was reminiscent of plays about the French revolution: Troops enter from the right to loud cannon fire and then they exit to the left. And at the end, the dead are left on stage.
- But in this case, the public was more disturbed than entertained. Indeed, one could see the phenomenon in a number of places in recent weeks: Obama's magic no longer works. The allure of his words has grown weaker.
  
  It is not he himself who has changed, but rather the benchmark used to evaluate him. For a president, the unit of measurement is real life. A leader is seen by citizens through the prism of their lives -- their job, their household budget, where they live and suffer. And, in the case of the war on terror, where they sometimes die.
- In his speech on America's new Afghanistan strategy, Obama tried to speak to both places. It was two speeches in one. That is why it felt so false. Both dreamers and realists were left feeling distraught.
  
  The American president doesn't need any opponents at the moment. He's already got himself.
Welcome to The HomeScholar Gold Care Club
tags: homeschool, high, school
Tortured State-Run Media Try to Praise Nonsensical Obama Speech
More reaction to the odd speech the president gave the other night.
tags: currentevents, Obma
- I don't understand how you can set a deadline. You know, this is not a football game where there's a clock where the time runs out. To win this war you have to defeat the enemy. How can we say in the beginning that we're going to do that when we don't know what's going to happen?

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

Small Successes

2009-12-03T21:14:00.000-05:00

1. This is really a family success of sorts - Mr. Pete went to New Mexico to finally settle my father's estate trust with my Evil First Cousin So if everything goes through I may be doing something I never thought I would be able to do - sell off my Father's ranch. If you know anyone who wants some rustic, pristine ranch land almost in Colorado - let me know!

2. I played a concert last night, and had a great rehearsal tonight. This is the time of year I feel like a professional flutist and I really enjoy it!

3. I have my kids coloring from the anatomy coloring book- and actually enjoying it!

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2009-12-03T13:13:00.002-05:00

Obama supporters - Are you sorry yet?

2009-12-03T13:07:00.000-05:00

Last fall I was dumbfounded by the number of online seemingly moderate Catholics who succumbed to the Obama euphoria and actually voted for the man despite his stand on abortion and "redistribution" policies. Some seemed simply swept away. Others I think just drank too deep from the Obama Kool Aid.

So, I started a special section in my Diigo and Delicious links under the tag areyousorryyet?(Are you sorry yet?) Seriously, it could be my biggest category if I added something to it every day - there have been that many gaffes by this president. But I try to exercise a little restraint.

Nonetheless some of his biggest women/mommy blogger supporterss have kind of quit blogging so effusively about the charismatic leader. I checked a couple of spots this week to see if there would be a response to the 30,000 troops going into Afghanistan or the NIH authorizing experiments on embryos, or perhaps the unemployment rate going over 10%. Nada. Not a peep.

On one blog I did go back into the archives where the blogger had written about her hopes for the new administration which included getting out of the middle east and I added a comment about the 30,000 troops going into Afghanistan, which is probably not exactly what she was hoping for. Sure enough she's upset - at me, not the Prez. Go figure.

My followup comment was:

I merely pointed out in this thread where you expressed your support for Obama because you had hopes of getting out of the middle east, that he was sending 30,000 troops into Afghanistan. I'm not sure how that can be construed as hate except I guess you hate to be wrong about this guy.

Nonetheless, you also said you hoped he would end abortion (which was odd since he was the most pro-abortion senator at the time).Of course that hasn't happened and in fact today it was even announced that the NIH is going to begin experimenting on embryos.

I imagine this isn't the kind of hope and change you were looking for 13 months ago when the man was elected.

But other than this, and of course the far left extreme bloggers, I'm not seeing a lot of political talk in the usual places? Are people getting complacent or just worn out? or maybe the tracking numbers say it all.

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