Little Moments

2000 Times

2015-09-22T14:35:00.001-04:00

It happened again. The shouting, the chasing, the whining, the grab for the toy. It went on this way until I could see that it wasn't being worked out. They weren't solving this problem on their own. It was another battle over an object and they weren't using what we'd been working on. I stepped in and helped them.

It happened again later that afternoon while playing outside. A dog walking by with his owner. Little legs running to greet them. Little hands reaching out to pet the furry face. It was another strange dog and he wasn't remembering what I'd been teaching him to do around animals we've never met before. I had to stop him and remind him.

Two-thousand times a former co-worker once taught me. It's a round-about number that speaks to the reason why we find ourselves repeating things over and over again. It's why we help them do it over and over again. It's because it will take two-thousand times, in context, before a child gets it, before a child does it on his own, before a child remembers.

This is not an exact formula. It is a reminder that kids need to practice their skills over and over. EVERY SINGLE ONE. From behavior and social skills to reading and writing. It takes time to learn something new. But sometimes we forget that circumstances must present themselves many times before they begin to learn... many more times than we'd like.

We can't rush it, we can't push it, we just have to be patient... which also happens to be a good example for children too!

If you are finding yourself wondering...

Why is this taking so long?

Or,

She knows better, we went over this yesterday!

Just tell yourself...

That's five down! Only one thousand nine hundred and ninety-five to go!

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A Place To Belong

2015-08-12T14:37:00.001-04:00

New surroundings can make children wonder where they fit in, where they belong in a new space. It doesn't matter if it's a new classroom, a new town, a new house, or a new school, they will look for their place in it. My own children search for that feeling of fitting in each time our family moves. We move a lot, as military families tend to, which is why I try to keep what would be inviting to a child in mind when creating spaces for them in our home.

The physical environment tends to be the first thing children notice, it's their first impression of a new place. If they can't see where they can fit into the "picture" it makes a transition that much harder. The feeling of fitting in is complex, especially in changing environments. But what I've learned that matters is...

Seeing they have a place to belong helps reinforce the feeling that they do belong.

What matters is seeing a space that invites them to choose activities on their own.

What matters is seeing there is room to play independently.

What matters is seeing where things go.

What matters is seeing a spot where they can make their mark.

What matters is seeing they are free to make mistakes, and try again.

Each of our homes have been very different from one another in size, location, and layout. As different as the resulting spaces have been, the only thing that matters to my kids is that they feel at home... a place where every child should feel they belong.

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Looking for more inspirational play area ideas? Check out Military Wife and Mom's post on How to help kids feel at home after a move. It's full of beautiful photos of child-friendly play spaces!

What's Easier?

2015-08-05T14:45:00.001-04:00

My family moved recently. We moved to a new city, a new state, a new climate, a new region of the country. We've been through this before and my three-year-old handled it pretty well. I know many coping tools and ways to help kids with moving. I anticipate different behavior and I'm not surprised when it does happen. But, the undesirable behavior is still frustrating. It's still a struggle and it still takes its toll, even when I expect it.

I'm currently struggling a bit with my three-year-old's behavior. For about a month, he's been an excessive bully toward his older brother, and throwing tantrums that are not like his usual demeanor. He's always been outgoing, risk-taking, loving, and a bit "wild," but despite my best efforts and techniques I'm losing my patience faster and have been talking with my husband a lot about how I've been approaching this issue. I even talk to my seven-year-old about things he can do or say so he feels more empowered to show his little brother that he won't let him continue to treat him badly. My three-year-old has figured out how to push his buttons... and mine. So we listen to each other, we come up with ideas together, we spend more time playing together, we spend time playing apart, we talk, we hug, we keep trying.

I am mentally spent. I've been using everything I know, everything I have been taught, everything I have read to help me stay calm and deal with this rationally, but sometimes I still yell, or take something away instead of teaching what to do because I am exhausted over the number of times I need to practice this with my kids. It always takes longer than you think it will, even when you know it won't be a short ride.

All is not lost in my household. I have seen improvement, undesirable behavior is changing, and some techniques are sinking in and being used by both of my kids. I am being more patient, slowing myself down, and taking a moment to collect myself back to where I'd like to be so I don't make things worse.

It has brought up a great discussion. My husband and I have debated over it in the past, and I've asked a few friends what they think as well....

What's easier?

Working on behavior issues with your own children?

Or working on behavior issues with children that are not your own?

I have worked with many children that are not my own. In my experience, I have found that I'm more patient with someone else's child. It feels awful to write it but it's true for me. I want to be just as patient with my own and I try very hard to, but there is a history, a pattern, an emotional tie that is hard to ignore. You would think having a relationship with a child would make it easier, and there is truth to that, but because I intimately know everything I have done, and all the work I've put into helping my own child I struggle more. I struggle to not get too emotional about it and use all the wrong words. I struggle to give my own children the extra time they need to practice their behavior because I hear that little voice in my head saying, "they should know better by now."

My husband thinks it's easier to work with our own children than other children because of that relationship. It's the relationship that links our disagreement. He feels more patient teaching our boys what is and isn't appropriate, and I feel more patient with a child I have no relationship with because I don't know what they have experienced in their lives or coping mechanisms they may or may not have been taught.

Not knowing their background as intimately as I do my own children is what makes me more patient. I cannot meet a child where they are at and build on what they do have if I don't know where they are coming from yet. I don't have the same kind of emotional connection with another child, so my head feels a little more clear of the personal history that can clog up my head when working with my own.

But, it's the relationships with my children that make me...
take a step back more often,
reflect a lot more,
and look at their behavior (and my own) from another angle.

Because people, young and old, grow and evolve so that their relationships can progress too.

What are your thoughts? What do you find easier? Is that relationship a little bit of a barrier, or more of a bridge?

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Two Times Two Equals Four

2015-07-08T11:44:00.004-04:00

I was thinking about a phrase the other day, one that was drilled into my head when I was about eight or nine, right around the time I was learning simple multiplication tables.

Two times two equals four.

It doesn't matter how many times you write it or repeat it, the equation will always be true, the result is always four. What I have learned in my experiences working with children is how you say it matters, how you say it out loud changes the results.

Even though I am referring to a math equation, it's just a metaphor. I'm not really writing about math, I'm really referring to tone, the tone we use with our children.

I strive each day to listen to myself when I talk to my children...

How do I sound?

What are their facial expressions telling me?

What is their body language telling me?

What kind of tone are they using in response to mine?

Two times two equals four is something I picture in my mind when I'm reflecting on how I react to my children when I'm upset, because my tone reveals a lot more than "four" as an answer.

To better understand what I mean about tone affecting behavior, try the following exercise with another adult or parent....

Write down a list of emotions that come to mind on a piece of paper. Try for at least five.
Repeat the phrase two times two equals four for your partner using one of the emotions you wrote down. Do not say anything else. Use only that phrase to try and express your emotion. Body language can be used as well.
Have your partner guess what emotion you are trying to convey.
Continue to repeat the phrase for each emotion you wrote down until each one has been guessed.
Discuss and think about how your tone would be received by a child, even though you are saying the same thing over and over.

There have been times when I've gotten frustrated to the point where my tone has emitted anger when my children are not listening to what I've asked them to do, and they continue to not listen, or react in anger themselves. Sometimes I take a moment to step back and change my tone, and sometimes my husband has stepped in, repeating what I've already said, in a different tone, and their responses change.

Conveying a certain tone can make a child feel and do things in a pleasant, or an unpleasant way. As an adult, I perceive an array of emotions coming from other adults and children that make me feel and react in a variety of ways myself. It depends on the message they may be trying to send.

What message do you want them to hear in your tone? Pay attention to how you sound when talking to your children, it can speak volumes to them.

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I Trust In Play

2015-03-13T09:20:00.003-04:00

It's no secret that I am a believer in learning through hands on play. I believe in introductions to concepts at appropriate ages because I believe in naturally occurring discovery. I believe in offering toys and tools in a way that will guide a child to learn what they need through their interests when he or she is developmentally ready.

Pretend restaurant play. Ready to write down your order!

I believe in the above because I trust play. I trust that play is giving my children what they need. I trust that play will present concepts at the age appropriate times in my children's development. I trust play because it's an experience that creates multiple opportunities and outlets to learn. Even in a world ruled by the awesomeness of technology, I still trust play.

Taking the lead in navigating the Zoo, "reading" his map. Saved for pretend play at home.

Math and reading (or language), are the most notorious subjects found on worksheets and screens. But they are no exception to the rule of being best understood through play.

A tape measure and snakes of different length are fun to compare. Tape measures are a good addition when building with blocks too!

Color patterns, and sorting on the raceway.

Children need concrete objects to manipulate in a way they understand them... playing with them. I trust in play because children trust in play to lead them to this...

Trust that children want to learn. They are curious about the world around them, including those lines that make up letters and numbers. But it is a process, and play includes them. The push and the rush to make numbers and letters more visible before they are ready to be seen is not necessary... they are already there... play will make them appear when a child is ready.

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Eat Your Shapes, They Are Good For You!

2015-03-06T15:21:00.000-05:00

My two year old, who is nearly three now, has been taking notice of the shapes all around him quite a bit lately. I try to naturally incorporate an objective like this in my discussions and play with him, especially if it's a current interest. When I base our play around an interest it only deepens what he is learning.

"I see a blue circle on your paper." When he shows me his drawings.

"Can you find a triangle block for me." If we are building together.

"Let's hop on the squares in the sidewalk to the car." On a walk outside.

The names associated with these symbols are picked up in our day to day play and activities. We do this with letters that are in the names of members of our family; M for mom, D for dad, and colors as well.

Because he has been more vocal about shapes I've been more purposeful about how I approach our meals or when he cooks with me. We cut things into squares and triangles. He feels the difference in his hands between the oval shape of an egg and the circular shape of an orange. He helps me look for rectangular things to eat at the grocery store. We bake cookies and add a favorite shape to them.

It doesn't stop there though. We talk about the utensils and tools we use to eat our food with too; circle cups and plates, square spatulas and pans, and oval spoons. It's the language incorporated into what we are doing.

Now I can offer shape based play and actvities in other areas of our day as well...
BUT... I love using food as an example because it's one of the very few things we can use all five of our senses with.

Why does this matter?

Because the MORE senses that are involved when learning something, the BETTER our brains remember what we learned! My son will not only remember shapes more easily, but he will recognize or notice shapes in other settings more easily as well. Food is the most hands on thing I can use to teach him.

Sense of smell has been known to trigger memories because of the location of memory processing in the brain to where smell is processed. The brain plays a part in our other senses as well. So when we are trying to remember information we have learned, it is easier to retain it when the brain can rely on multiple senses. There are multiple connections being made.

If you'd like to read more about this, the book Brain Rules has a great section on sensory integration. I love a good book about how our brains work because it explains A LOT about how we learn.

If you don't use food, try to offer activites that engage at least three senses. Otherwise cook and use food as learning opportunities as often as you can with your kids, simply because it's good for them!

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Less Is More

2015-02-13T18:20:00.002-05:00

My boys have about 4 1/2 years between them in age. It's enough of a gap that finding ways to offer activities that are appropriate for the both of them can be a challenge sometimes, especially when the two year old loves to try and keep up with what the seven year old is doing. Or the seven year old is just bored with what the two year old loves.

In my experiences I have learned to keep it simple.

I try to keep things simple in general, but sometimes I end up making it complicated. When I set up a simple invitation it's not a lot. There aren't oodles of supplies, or an overwhelming pile to choose from. The less I set out, the more they tend to do with it.

By keeping it simple, open ended, and using a small amount of supplies, the kids can use the materials at their level. They are simple enough for a two year old to use, and open ended enough for a seven year old to customize.

I have just a few examples to give you an idea of what I have done in the past....
Two blank pieces of paper, two pairs of scissors, a bucket of colored strips of paper, and glue.

What my two year old did with it...

What my seven year old did with it...

A beautiful picture book we had read the day before, accompanied by two pieces of black paper, and various white writing utensils. My two year old drew circles and lines. My seven year old drew the owl and a tree from his favorite pages in the book.

Play dough, that I did divide into two portions, two tree blocks, and a container of small random objects. This was a literacy based activity that pairs well with one of our favorite books. The link is below if you'd like to know more!

Story Telling that Sticks

What can you build with only two different shaped Legos? Two Lego mats and two bowls of Legos.

Simplicity is the glory of expression -Walt Whitman

How do you keep it simple so you get more from your kids?

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Story Telling That Sticks

2015-01-22T12:30:00.001-05:00

"Great stories happen to those who can tell them." -Ira Glas

We live in a world ruled by stories; stories told on the television, at the movies, in picture books, through photographs on the wall, or on the crayon covered paper drawn by little hands. My favorite stories are the ones told at the dinner table, in the car, or on a walk in the woods. Stories connect us to one another, entertain us, and help us relate to concepts in life.

One of my favorite story tellers is my two year old son. With the most expressive face he spins tall tales that are usually peppered with real life events, and a funny character or two. He seems to have the makings of a future author, but I'm biased of course.

One of our re-occurring favorite stories (in picture book form), and loved by my seven year old as well for its silly plot, is one of Oliver Jeffers' stories, Stuck.

"A tale of trying to solve a problem by throwing things at it." -Oliver Jeffers

I've written about my "crush" for Oliver Jeffers picture books before here. His story telling has a strong hold on us....you could say we're stuck on them!

We were reading and talking about Stuck one day when my older son was home sick from school. We had also cooked up a fresh batch of play dough and pulled out our tree blocks. It struck me later on that afternoon that we had an opportunity for story telling right in front of us.

I smashed some of the play dough down so there was ample surface area for our stories, and laid a tree block next to it so it had the appearance of a tree. Then I grabbed a container and filled it with small random objects and toys...the best kind of props for story telling.

I simply asked my boys to tell me a story with the objects in front of them. My seven year old eagerly began to work, and the two year old followed his lead.

It did not take very long for the room to be filled with tales of... "I threw my fish into the tree because I wanted to see if it was a flying fish, then I went back in time in my time machine to get a dinosaur to throw into the tree to knock it down, it was still stuck, so I threw...."

My younger son told simpler versions, "I throw Lego to knock train down. I throw car to knock Lego down."

They told, and they re-told, and kept on telling. It was a great sequencing and recall activity. They changed the objects and shared their own stories over and over...it was sticking with them.

What favorite story telling methods seem to stick with your kids? Please share your stories below!

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The Myth of Drawing Space

2015-01-04T14:00:00.000-05:00

Someone recently sent me a photo of blank paper framed out on a wall, hanging low enough for a child to draw on, and asked me what my thoughts were on the photo. I wasn't sure what he was trying to ask, but another person chimed in with the opinion that it only encouraged children to draw on the wall, that it wasn't a "smart" idea at all.

Naturally I replied to this person, expressing that it is a great place to show a child where he or she CAN draw. Frames are great boundaries for such a setting. My challenger didn't seem to agree. There was a written exchange back and forth, and our online conversation got me thinking about the myth of drawing space. It really doesn't matter where you set up supplies for art to take place, what matters is that you show them where the physical boundaries are. What matters is that there is something available for them to use.

Most people lay or roll out a piece of paper on a table. I have never heard someone say, "that will just encourage children to draw on the table!" I have seen dry erase boards stuck to the front of refrigerators, paper taped to the floor, hand held mirrors with a cup of markers near by..... many blank surfaces in interesting places, all used for creative inspiration.

What is it about walls that scare some people? Is it the boundaries they portray, or the fact that they can be hard to clean?

What matters is that we acknowledge that children DO make mistakes when they accidentally get crayon where it shouldn't be, and children DO test our boundaries when they try a new surface to see how far they can go. But I believe there are no artistic boundaries, and if we teach children what the physical boundaries are (when and where it is OK to draw), then WHERE EVER you lay that piece of paper SHOULDN'T matter!

Share the interesting places you and your child draw!

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Play Happens

2015-01-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

Children are unpredictable in many ways; they make me reflect on what I see and do, they teach ME when I think I'm the one doing the teaching, they push boundaries, they do strange things, they learn quickly, they surprise me EVERY DAY. I tell myself I shouldn't be surprised, but then they go and "do it again!"

I was getting myself ready the other morning, when my younger son hopped into the empty bathtub with a matchbox car. He started rolling the car across the oval shaped bottom, and watched as it careened up the side of the bathtub walls with every forceful push. Not much later, my older son found out what he was doing, and hopped into the tub with a car of his own.

A road rally had formed, complete with flying car stunts... in my bathtub. They raced, and laughed, and challenged each other, and discovered many tricks they didn't know their cars could do on such a surface. Physics was being taught in my bathtub. It happened.... PLAY HAPPENED.

My kids play every day, but what surprises me is the manner in which it happens sometimes. Whether it's unexpected, makes you laugh out loud, or occurs in a strange setting, play happens EVERYWHERE.

So I'm starting the hashtag #PLAYHAPPENS on Instagram, in hopes that you share photos of play happening in your life. I am inspired by others all the time, and love when people share to motivate, inspire, or create a good laugh, as well.

I hope to see your photos there! Where does your child's play happen?

You can find and follow me on Instagram here... littlemoments2embrace

Some of my other favorite hashtags I use on Instagram that involve play...

#playmatters

#playoutside

#childhoodunplugged

#capturingchildhood

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The Gift You Can't Go Wrong With...

2014-12-23T09:41:00.001-05:00

So many gift options, so little time to choose the right one. When someone asks me about a great gift for young children, I often suggest books.

You can't go wrong with a book;

You can gift an interest in the form of a book.

You can inspire a new interest.

You can help create an escape into another world with a book.

You can help create a lifetime love of reading.

You can help teach a new skill.

You will not only be gifting a book, but you will be gifting precious time together....and your time is the most valuable thing to a child.

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Hidden Snowflake Math

2014-12-11T00:00:00.001-05:00

Math is not always obvious, but "hidden" everywhere in children's play and activities. Sorting blocks by shape and color during a building session, counting flowers in a pretend floral shop, pouring sand into different sized containers in a sensory bin, setting out the same number of napkins as there are children to help prepare for snack, or measuring the shelves with a piece of string.

A favorite activity of mine when winter rolls around has become tradition in our home and is "hidden" with several math opportunities for kids to discover.

The materials we use are simple:

Pencils
Scissors
Tracing paper (When cutting through several layers, thin paper is easier to work with)
Circular object (Like a bowl, or cup)

Our process tends to go like this....

1. Tracing: We use a bowl to trace a desired number of circles on our paper, then cut them out. The bigger the circle, the bigger the snowflake.

2. Folding: We fold the circles in half, then again, then one more time. We fold it at least 3 times.

It should look like the shape in the picture above. Do you see the opportunity here? We can discuss, halves, and thirds, or quarters, depending on how many times we fold it.

3. Cutting: We let our boys cut designs of their choosing. We have made snowflakes using only circular cuts, triangular cuts, slits, specific shapes (cut outs that look like a house or rocket ship).

4. Unfolding: Watch for smiles and excitement with the end result. Naturally, symmetry is a topic that comes up at this point.

5. Experiment:

Fold one circle three times, then fold a second circle four times. Make the exact same cuts on each one, then unfold and talk about the differences seen between the two. Try folding less than three times or more than four the next time.

Make cuts only on the folded side of one circle, then make the same cuts on a second circle, but on the "open" side. Unfold and talk about the differences between the two.

6, Display and enjoy!

If your younger ones are not ready for scissors;

Have them add color to the snowflakes before or after cutting them out with crayons, pencils, or paint.
Let them work on the unfolding step
Supervise their scissor use, even if they just cut it up into tiny little pieces. Every opportunity to practice is one step closer to mastering this fine motor skill.

Discover the multiple natural opportunities to discuss math with your kids this season while you decorate your space!

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Figuring it out

2014-11-13T18:55:00.001-05:00

My work is not repetition. It is an exploration. (Guido Molinari)

When a child struggles to fit a piece to a puzzle, when he struggles to keep a tower from falling, or when he struggles to remember what comes after three; how do you respond? How long do you wait? When is the right moment?

Letting children play without helping, without showing, is sooooo hard to do. It's like an itch you want to scratch badly, but you shouldn't, because it will only make it worse.

Last month my two and a half year old pulled out a box that he's never used before; a wooden box that houses four different twelve piece puzzles. I watched him try to force two pieces to fit together, try another, turn it, and try some more.

Pretty soon he was fitting a couple together. "You're matching the pictures." I told him.

He seemed to realize what I said because he was matching more pieces together, and looking for other pieces with letters when he found one with letters on it.

He isn't proficient with puzzles, but he was figuring it out without me directing him, and when he got stuck he asked for help.

Once they were all put together he did not want them to be put away....

They became a display on the table for weeks.

Occasionally, he took the puzzles apart and put them back together, mostly, over and over again.

He was figuring out how to manipulate these new objects.

I don't believe he would have explored the same puzzles for weeks had I showed and instructed him; as an MIT article here suggests,

Had I not simply stated what he was doing with the puzzle pieces, he may not have discovered that they will fit together sometimes even if the pictures don't match.

There's something to be said for modeling and doing as you would like your child to do.

Sometimes they need to figure it out on their own, no showing, no telling. And that moment will come once YOU figure it out!

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How You See It Matters

2014-10-26T10:12:00.000-04:00

"The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper."

-W.B. Yeats

We project a lot onto our children about how we perceive things in this world; the way we behave, the way something tastes, how things feel to us, what is or isn't beautiful, scary, or fun.

We unintentionally cloud their view of things sometimes before they have a chance to focus and make a decision for themselves about it.

Teaching children about the world is not always black and white. When they encounter something new, taking a step back and observing them taking it in will tell you a lot about what they see.

You may be surprised at how children will react...

What you see is neither right nor wrong, but how you see these things matters because it's what you are encouraging them to see.

Are your kids aware of your perceptions?

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Building A World

2014-09-12T09:33:00.001-04:00

Every now and then I am tempted to buy one of those "cool" play sets with the bright colors, the moving parts, the loud sound effects, and the large amount of floor space they take up. My boys love to try them out in the aisle of the toy store; turning cranks, spinning wheels, and making battery operated noises that repeat over and over.

Then I remember why I don't buy them...

I don't buy them because there is an alien waiting to go down a slide into an unknown land on the back porch.

I don't buy them because there is a catapult sitting on a castle wall filled with Lego bricks, waiting to be launched into a box in the play room.

I don't buy them because the tallest bed that can turn into a house for baby animals is being built on the table.

I don't buy them because there is a tree house haunted by ghosts near one of our windows.

I don't buy them because we can create our own play scenes from our imagination.
We can change them,
add onto them,
knock them down,
start them over,
make them better,
make them different,
make them our own.

My boys are building a world they see through their eyes,
a world they are trying to make sense of,
a world they are trying to understand,
a world they are learning from.

What kind of worlds do your children love to build and create?

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The Summer of Nostalgia

2014-08-10T21:53:00.000-04:00

It has been another summer of big changes for us due to our move to a new military base. We have adapted to our transient lifestyle, but that doesn't mean it still isn't tough for us. During times of change my husband and I get all nostalgic and tend to reminisce about the past, which leads to reliving those past moments.

Simple moments in our favorite places that my husband and I loved when we were kids.

Leisurely bike rides

Trips to the fair

Cotton Candy as big as your head!

Roasting marshmallows

Camping in the woods

Fishing for anything we can catch

Rides on Grandpa's tractor

Boat Rides on the river

Swimming in the lake

Digging up clams

Catching water balloons

Ending our days with ice cream

We've been calling it The Summer of Nostalgia. It hasn't been anything extravagant or costly. Just spending time with our favorite people, and visiting with friends and family we haven't seen in a long time.

These shared moments are memories that I hope will create nostalgia for our kids. These are great times for bonding, because you are doing something you love while you're with the ones you love. It's these simple things that help slow us down and keep us grounded in a not so simple life!

What nostalgic things do you do with your kids?

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Calming Down

2014-08-03T09:32:00.000-04:00

I have a daily battle with myself. It's not a battle that you can see, but an inner battle, a struggle to stay calm when my children are not. I fight this battle every day so that my boys can witness healthy ways to deal with anger, frustration, disappointment, or fear. I don't always win this battle, but I keep "practicing," and continue to learn more about myself.

There have been many learning opportunities, or "aha" moments in my life with my children; moments when I realize that I can choose my attitude, that I should never forget to play, that I am my own guidebook, because my boys are learning despite what I may not see, and that I have to keep going forward. It's almost funny how they have each hit me in a different context, at the right moment, or even an odd moment....

One particular odd moment was during a workout routine I was following on my television in our living room. It was almost over, and the instructor was covering the cool down/stretching portion. My six year old noticed the instructor was no longer yelling over loud music...

"Mom, why is he talking so quietly? Why isn't he yelling any more?"

Not even thinking about it, I matter-of factly told him...

"Its not as easy for me to cool down my muscles and calm down my body if he's still yelling things at me, so he talks quietly during this part."

W-H-O-A, and DUH! I thought to myself. He didn't ask me anything more about it but it hit me hard. I know yelling doesn't help my kids, it usually just escalates the situation even more. When they are feeling out of sorts I have never seen them calm themselves, or follow direction when I am yelling, it only makes it harder for them to do it, they cannot be calm if I am not.

So I carry this little "aha" with me in my pocket, along with all the others, and I pull it out from time to time when my kids are yelling and I find myself yelling right back at them.

What "ahas" do you carry with you?

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The Patience of a Frog

2014-06-30T06:00:00.000-04:00

Why do some children run and scream when they see reptiles and bugs, but others scoop them up and get real close? I believe that the more you are exposed to what you don't know, the more you understand it, or are more comfortable with it.

It's the season for frogs and toads. They are hopping about underfoot while we play, little movements seen out of the corner of our eyes, until one of my boys scoops one up....then it becomes a free for all to see who can collect the most.

It wasn't always this way. My older son was timid, and almost just as jumpy as a frog when he touched one, or if one landed on him. His dad gave him tips, and showed him how to catch them without hurting them. He was curious, and wanted to check them out. The more he handled them, the more confident he became. It took a lot of effort and patience to catch them, a journey that has evolved over several years. Now he teaches his two year old brother how to catch and handle them, and he is just as eager, and able the more he does it.

Each time a toad gets away is another opportunity to be patient...

another opportunity to practice being gentle... another opportunity to inspect their bulging bellies...

and another opportunity to learn more about them.

If it weren't for the patience of those toads and frogs being caught, poked, prodded, and squished (for an unfortunate few) over and over again, children wouldn't be as patient with them. Children wouldn't know as much about them. Children wouldn't appreciate them for what they are, and what they do... because nothing is cooler than watching a toad eat a bug!

Many times, it is the smaller things that teach us big lessons in life. Patience is a virtue.

"Every journey begins with a single hop." -Kermit the Frog

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Ice Boats

2014-06-24T14:20:00.000-04:00

In the throws of summer, all we want to do is stay cool. Water play becomes more of a daily activity, partially just to make the heat of the sun more enjoyable. An even better addition that is a favorite is ice! Ice cubes are awesome, but they don't last very long in the water and the heat.

A while back I came across a fantastic, natural, spin on using ice in water play on Reading Confetti (click the link for a great tutorial). It is a big hit at our house, and it lasts longer than little ice cubes!

Using larger containers with wide openings is key to getting them to float. The bigger the boat, the longer it will last too! We preferred using foil or plastic wrap to Reading Confetti's method of securing the stick poles while the boats froze. Simply cover the opening of the container with foil and poke the stick through the foil so it won't fall over while freezing in the water. A little warm water run over the outside of the container once they are solid helps pop the boats out immediately.

The boys loved poking leaves onto the sticks for sails and flags, and they added little animal and people figures atop the boat's surfaces. Using different sized plastic bowls and containers allowed the boys to take guesses as to which boat would melt and sink first.

Stay cool with your kids a little longer this summer!

Other water play ideas from Little Moments:
Life in the Water
Floating Blocks

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The Perfect Spot To Sleep

2014-05-30T15:51:00.001-04:00

Are you familiar with that moment when....your child could not fall asleep, when they would not fall asleep? How do they finally find that comfortable slumber? Where do they find that perfect place to rest their head?

My boys and I recently read about a Panda, a Panda named Chengdu.

Chengdu could not, would not fall asleep. My boys turned each page of this book, waiting to see what position the panda bear would be in next, waiting to see if he would fall asleep in the bamboo grove with the other panda bears. A simple scene at night, under the stars, and two dark eyes staring from the page, hanging in different positions from the bamboo. There are even a few pages that open up in different ways, a surprise for this simple setting! A twist at the end of the story gave everyone a chuckle in our house.

Reading this story many times with a six and two year old was a breeze. The repeating phrases made it easy for my six year old to predict and read, it was short enough for my two year old, and the pictures were pleasing for all of us.

The story lead to discussions about bamboo, pandas, and favorite spots to sleep. Incorporating these topics together, I set up an invitation to play with loose parts using rocks, cardboard tubing, and a little paint...

I painted pandas on both sides of each rock; one sleeping, and one awake. They provided many counting opportunities, and retelling of the story.

Using river rocks make it easier to stack snuggling pandas.

They created homes by leaning, stacking, and standing different lengths of bamboo, all while finding the perfect spot to sleep for the pandas.

We even used our cardboard bamboo as a prompt to paint our own pandas.

We loved Barney Saltzberg's new book...and if you ask me, the perfect spot to sleep, is reading Chengdu could not, would not fall asleep. with your children in your arms.

*A complimentary copy of this book was provided to us for review. All opinions shared here are our own. This post contains no affiliate links.*

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Social Sensory Play

2014-05-06T22:04:00.001-04:00

Do you have a place where all your children naturally gather and play together? Do you have a place where they tend to socialize the most? Ours is the sensory table. It's not just my boys that play and socialize there, but most of the kids on our street, or any friend of my six year old son that comes over to play. Even the older children, as well as me, get drawn into the open ended play sensory materials allow. Lately, we've been making ice cream treats with moon sand and colorful wooden beads.

The children come to see if there's something new to dig their hands into.

They come to see what has already been made. They come to see what they can contribute. They try to create something new and different. They collaborate on bigger ideas of what to do with the materials. They help younger ones with their creations.

They come to see their friends, they come to play. Sensory material is magical that way!

Do you find that sensory tables and tubs do the same at your home or school? I find it to be the "kitchen" of playrooms, everyone tends to gather there to dig into what ever we happen to have that day. Share your children's favorite place to gather!

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He Was Learning All Along

2014-04-25T14:29:00.002-04:00

How easy is it for you to look back on a day, week, or month, and pick out what drove you crazy, or upset you to the point of making it a miserable day with your kids or your class? What was happening that made you believe they were "pushing your buttons?" Why did you feel that way? Where were you when it was happening?

I've been having many frustrating days with my own, looking for the root of the problem, looking for the solution. Talking with my husband about it. Wondering if it was really so important that it warranted the power struggle that ensued, and shouldn't have happened in the first place.

I had an epiphany at the end of one particular day, when I proclaimed that I was worn down so far that "I didn't care." Inside I really did, but I was so stuck about turning myself around that I couldn't see past the miserable part. I realized I needed a fresh set of eyes....

My son wasn't trying to deface our furniture, or his arms with marker... he was testing out how it felt on different surfaces, and learning what was OK, and not OK to draw on.

My son wasn't trying to spoil his dinner by sneaking food out of the cupboard... he was learning how to help himself when he felt hungry.

My son wasn't trying to hurt himself by running toward the road....he was learning where it is OK, and not OK to walk.

My son wasn't running through the pile of leaves I had raked up to upset me...he wanted to see what would happen and how far they would fly.

My son wasn't saying "no," and refusing to listen to my directions only because he didn't want to....he was also testing his boundaries, and wanted to know what to expect from me.

A different perspective helps me figure out how to redirect, and what to say. It helps me choose a better mood, a better reaction, and a better response.

What have you seen your children experimenting with and learning from with a "different pair of eyes?"

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Writing is all about the context.

2014-04-06T20:47:00.001-04:00

When I was a kid I wrote a lot, stories mostly. I wrote more when it was on my terms; when I felt like it, and where I was the most comfortable. Usually it was in a cozy spot in my room, or a quiet place outside. The context of my surroundings was important to me. Today it's more about finding the right time to do it while caring for two children. A comfortable and inspiring place doesn't always make its way into the picture, but I make do.

My family's home has been arranged in a way so that my boys will be able to find their best surroundings. At such young ages, portraying writing in an enjoyable, valuable, and beneficial light can make a lasting impression.

I keep a small table in my kitchen for various playing and creating opportunities. The table has been used for invitations to "cook" lately. I change the supplies every couple of weeks, but always leave some sort of writing tool available. I have found in the past few months that our pretend food and dish supplies get played with more often if they are in the kitchen. Both of my boys, six and two years old, even use it while I'm cooking myself sometimes.

Many pretend play scenarios can involve writing;
-Taking note of symptoms at a doctor's office.
-Writing down an order at an ice cream shop.
-Making signs for a garden.
-Creating a list for grocery shopping.
-Writing measurements for a building, etc. etc.

Recently, we've taken advantage of writing opportunities by taking pizza orders, and creating menus. A recipe book is a great model for copying words related to cooking. My two year old has access as well. He mimics what his brother does and scribbles his own lines on the pages.

There's more going on when children write during play. During the 1950s, a Russian study was done by psychological researchers that followed Lev Vygotsky's work. Children were asked to stand still as long as they could. You can only imagine how well that went, they lasted about two minutes. A second group of children were asked to pretend they were soldiers guarding a post. This group was able to stand still for eleven minutes!

Now imagine if I just asked my six year old to write as much as he could for me. Do you think he would write more, or less than he did while playing pizza maker? Children practice more self-regulation at whatever the task may be during their play. Writing practice is no exception. Give a child a playful task and they will write away with it, because play is the most comfortable and inspiring surroundings you can give a child.

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The Rhyming Race

2014-03-11T15:12:00.000-04:00

I know Dr. Seuss is either a love or hate relationship for teachers and parents. All of that endless rhyming, and sometimes made up words, just to create a rhyme. But children love a good rhyme, and will repeat it over and over. Personally, I don't mind the rhyming, it's catchy, like a song with a great beat. So we have our share of Dr. Seuss books; they are great for word play and vocabulary building.

Rhyming games are great fun as well, especially for times when waiting is required of us. A friend of mine and I came up with a rhyming movement game that I like to call...

Depending on where you are, draw or tape out shapes of your choice as marking places in two or more rows. The number of rows depend on how many are participating in the race. Have one child stand in front of each row of shapes, and call out a word that can be rhymed multiple times; can, sat, and stop are great starter examples.

Each child will take a turn calling out a word that rhymes with your starter word. If they do say a word that rhymes, they move a space forward by stepping, hopping, skipping, or what ever suits them. Whom ever gets to the end of their line first wins! The winner gets to come up with the next new starter word to race for!

This game is most appropriate for preschool aged children, but can be modified for younger and older ones. A twister mat works great if you are in a place where you can't mark the floors. You can also make it a true race by letting children move a space if they are the first to call out a rhyming word, but it's up to you and your kids to come up with the right pace!

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The Guidebook

2014-03-04T21:22:00.002-05:00

I was running errands the other day, and on my way from point A to point B, I drove past a church sign that caught my eye with the following message on it...

Parent's lives are a child's guidebook.

It hung in the back of my mind for the rest of the day. It's funny to think that as adults we are guidebooks, when we look for physical ones to navigate us through parenthood and teaching. It made me think of the old joke, "Where's the manual for this kid?" When the manual seems to be us; children are a reflection of us.

I reflect on my behavior around my children every day, good and bad. My life is made up of my actions and reactions, and my children repeat those actions accordingly, "trying them on" to see how they fit their lives. I have seen it in classrooms as well. Calmness reflecting calmness and chaos reflecting chaos.

Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you. -Zig Ziglar

If we are the guidebooks, then maybe we hold the answers to our own questions about our children and our students....

Their willingness to try
The way they treat others
How they try to communicate

What examples are they seeing from the most influential adults in their day to day lives? If it's not direct communication and actions with them, they are still getting messages from our direct communication and actions with others.

Don't overlook "the guidebook" you carry every day, it's an important source to consider for the impact it may make on children.

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