The Desperate Pastor Blog

Why I Value Professional Counseling

2013-06-17T12:30:00.000-04:00

It's not just because my wife is a gifted professional counselor. And it's not just because I'm a tad crazy (okay, more than a tad). But there are numerous reasons I value professional counseling--especially for those in the helping professions, and even more so for anyone in ministry.

Here are seven reasons I have long valued professional counseling, and particularly during my decades of pastoral ministry:

1. Smart people advise it. For several years, while being coached as a church planter by my friend Steve Sjogren, he would ask in probably more than half of our meetings together, "Are you seeing a shrink yet?" At that time, my answer was no. But he, with wisdom borne of years of successful ministry, continued to promote to me and my co-pastor the importance of self-care for pastors, which includes having a counselor to talk to.

2. It is wise preparation. As I told my first counselor when he asked me in our first session, "Why are you here?," I sought out counseling when I wasn't in crisis because I knew (as I myself had counseled many) that the best time to seek help is before a crisis hits. And, boy, did that ever prove wise.

3. Ministry invites spiritual warfare. The burdens of leadership and ministry are so heavy at times that it is so valuable just to have an outlet, a pressure release valve, someone who isn't a member of the church, and who can offer comfort and counsel and wisdom and perspective.

4. It sets a good example for the flock. It is one thing to recommend counseling to people from some position of supposed superiority, and a much better thing to model the fact that a person doesn't have to be crazy to seek counseling (even if I am).

5. It is a key part of an accountability network. My counselor has helped to expose my blind spots and ask the hard questions of me. I hate that. But it is helpful and necessary.

6. It provides spiritual partnership and direction. I chose a counselor who was also a qualified spiritual director. So he has often helped me get better at listening to God and discerning what God is trying to say to me (most of the time, it's "Hey! Anybody in there?"). The value of spiritual direction is not mainly in answering my questions, but in questioning my answers.

7. It clears the clouded head. Often, after seeing my counselor, I have experienced a renewed mental, emotional, and spirituality clarity as a result of offloading some of the confusing and conflicting thoughts in my head. Turns out such clarity is an asset for a pastor. Who knew?

These are, of course, just seven among many reasons I value professional counseling...and recommend it. Especially, as I said earlier, for those in ministry.

Why I Value Multi-Sensory Preaching

2013-06-15T12:30:00.000-04:00

I had the honor and joy of speaking last week at the Write-to-Publish conference in Wheaton, Illinois. In one of my three plenaries, I talked about "writing for the senses." It seemed to go over well enough.

I believe not only in writing for the senses, but in teaching and preaching for them, too. That is, consciously involving the learner's senses whenever possible (I was, therefore, quite glad that Kristin Sanders's sermon on Sunday at Cobblestone Community Church involved a good metaphor and helpful props).

Some of my favorite sensory preaching moments in the past have been:

Taste and Touch
On Palm Sunday 2010, in the final message in a series called, "Do Something," I talked about how during my latest visit to Jerusalem, our group was walking through the Old City of Jerusalem, our guide Nader pointed out to us several times a scrap of bread on a window ledge or a few pieces on an electrical box. He explained that, because Jesus revealed himself to the two disciples he met on the road to Emmaus in the breaking of bread, bread is so revered by the Christians of Jerusalem, that they will not throw it in the garbage…and if any bread falls to the ground or is seen on the ground, the residents will pick it up and place it on a ledge so it won’t be trampled underfoot. So I asked everyone to come to communion, expecting to meet the living Christ in the breaking of bread, like those two disciples, and then I asked them, on their way back to their seats, to leave a piece or two or more of bread on the window ledge to represent the person or persons they had invited or planned to invite to Easter, with a prayer that that person would someday soon be meeting the living Christ in the breaking of bread, as they had just done. It prompted a beautiful response from the people of God that day.

Oh What a Sight

One Summer (2009, the fortieth anniversary of the original "Summer of Love") we did a "Summer of Love" series. As a sort of fun finale, I delivered my message on "The Breadth of Love," from Ephesians 3:18 and Luke 15:1-7 in the hippie threads you see at left. Some people giggled through the whole thing. I don't know why. I thought I was groovy.

Taste of Grace
In a study of Galatians called, "Livin' Venti," I preached on the first ten verses of Galatians 2, in a message called "Free to Belong." I wanted to emphasize the futility of adding to the Gospel of Grace. So I produced a fresh Krispy Kreme donut, and asked how many would eat that donut if I gave it to them. Of course, many hands were raised. Then I produced a ketchup bottle, a jar of jam, and a bottle of hot sauce, and added those ingredients to the donut, asking if anyone would eat it. ONE young man (in each celebration that morning!) raised a hand, so I gave him a bite. The crowd loved it--and even more when one of the guys had to leave the room shortly after to get a drink, or crackers, or something! It was fun--and, I hope, got the point across.

A Hands-Tied Experience

Also in the Livin' Venti series, preaching on the latter half of Galatians 2, I preached the first part of the message in a strait jacket, to illustrate our tendency to return over and over again to the constraints and strictures of the Law, instead of enjoying the fact that we are "Free to Enjoy" the new life God gives us. That simple visual seemed to make this message one of the most impactful and memorable I've ever given. Oh, and in case you're curious, the strait jacket was bought from a costume supply place....I didn't just happen to have it on hand, despite what you may think.

Wedding Banquet, Draft Notice
In an eleven-part study of the book of Revelation (that is easily
one of my favorite series, ever), I gave the ninth message, "The Last Word on Salvation," on Revelation 19-20. In it, I depicted salvation as wedding (ch. 19) and war (ch. 20), and we did a number of things to try to drive the point home. We divided the message into two parts, eparated by the celebration of communion. For the first

part of the message, I came onstage in a tuxedo, and issued the invitation, "Come to the Wedding" (from Revelation 19:1-10) after which we celebrated communion together from a beautifully appointed banquet table, to emphasize the wedding supper of the Lamb (right). After communion, I returned to the stage, this time in Army camo fatigues and issued the call, "Go out to War," from Rev. 19:11-21. We also had, on each seat in the auditorium, a card with a printed invitation to the wedding of the Lamb on one side, and a draft notice on the other; as part of the response, I urged participants, if they accepted the wedding invitation, to also sign the signature line on the draft notice, emphasizing that we kid ourselves if we think we can come to the wedding without joining in the battle.

Remote Preaching
My co-pastor at the time, John Johnson, planned and delivered one of the most imaginative messages I think I've ever seen. He actually constructed a silo in the auditorium (on the left in the photo at right; sorry for the quality, but the photographer is not the brightest bulb in the box) and delivered the first ten minutes or so of the message from INSIDE the silo, and had a video feed that showed him, contained and isolated in the silo, speaking to us from the big screen! He also had a SECOND camera that he could switch back and forth from to show us the cozy confines of his self-imposed cell. It was a memorable way to depict how many of us tend to prefer isolation from each other rather than engagement and vulnerability and community with each other.

Barefoot Sunday
Finally, one Thanksgiving Sunday, I surprised the whole church by concluding my message that day by challenging them to donate their shoes--the shoes they wore to worship that day--to people around the world who don't have even one pair of shoes to wear, through the ministry of Soles4Souls. God's people responded magnanimously! It was a day to remember, as worshipers came forward during the closing song, left their shoes on the platform steps, and left church BAREFOOT! The following weeks, people donated shoes by the hundreds, and we shipped them as a Christmas gift to the Soles4Souls distribution center!

Over the years, some of my favorite (and, I think, most impactful) preaching experiences have been those in which I remembered to employ multiple senses, especially those beyond sight and sound, and encouraged active participation from the saints. Like when we roped off sections of the crowd to indicate circles of influence. Or when I released a live butterfly as part of the message. Or when the Scripture reading included dramatic sound effects. Or when each worshiper received a small smooth stone or a coin or a dollar to drive home a point. Or when the front of the Easter Sunday auditorium was transformed into a luxuriant garden that not only looked beautiful but spread the fragrance of flowers throughout the room. Those are the moments I enjoyed best as a preacher, and the ones I think people remember best as participants. I only wish there were more of them.

Why I Value Contemporary Worship Music

2013-06-14T12:30:00.001-04:00

It happens every so often. Most recently, a couple weeks ago at a writer's conference at which I was speaking. We were sitting at the table enjoying a nice meal, when someone started opining on contemporary worship music versus hymns. This person regarded hymns as theologically, musically, linguistically, and maybe even spiritually superior to modern worship songs. I'm so tired of these arguments, I couldn't even summon the energy to participate in the conversation. As one who cut my teeth as a child on hymns, and as a Christian on "contemporary Christian music," the discussion (as is typical) largely missed the point.

Hymns are great. The level of erudition and expression in the hymns of Isaac Watts, Charles Wesley, and Fanny Crosby is unequalled in today's worship music. Because they are two different genres. Entirely. They are apples and oranges.

In my experience, at least, hymns enable me to worship with my intellect, by and large. There are exceptions ("Great is Thy Faithfulness," for example), but generally speaking, when I sing a hymn, my mind is engaged with lofty thoughts and divine truths, but my emotions, not so much (except when a hymn awakens nostalgia in me, which though it is a form of gratitude, is more likely to distract me from worship than aid me in worship).

Much of today's worship music, by contrast, does something else entirely for me. With some exceptions, these songs engage my heart and soul. They draw me into the presence of Jesus Christ. Some are theologically shallow--even questionable (but then so are some hymns, like "In the Garden" and "Gentle Jesus, Meek and Mild"). Some are repetitive, even annoying (a little like the chorus of "Angels from the Realms of Glory" and the chorus "Be Still and Know That I am God"). And some are confusing or vapid or even comical (sort of like the song I remember singing forty years ago, "Standing Somewhere in the Shadows You'll Find Jesus;" I was never sure if it was supposed to scare or touch me, but I still chuckle at the image of Jesus as Phantom-of-the-Opera it inspires).

But many modern songs are far more like Biblical psalmody than the hymns I sang over the years (and still sing and pray today). A great number are actually Scripture set directly to music, while others are thoroughly Scripture-based. For example, the song “Knowing You” is drawn from Philippians 3, and the words of "Those Who Trust" are based on Psalm 125. And it is true that many of today's worship songs are written and sung from a highly personal, perhaps narcissistic frame of mind (the personal pronoun "I" does dominate some of them)...but then, even the most casual glance at the psalms will reveal precisely the same thing.

Most hymns were written with different instrumentation and venues in mind; they are great for pipe organ, piano, and choir. An entirely different music form might have resulted if Isaac Watts and Charles Wesley had written for guitars and drums, as many of today's songwriters do.

Moreover, a hefty portion of hymns are songs of testimony ("Amazing Grace") or sentiment ("The Old Rugged Cross") or proclamation ("How Firm a Foundation") as well as worship ("Immortable, Invisible, God Only Wise") and prayer ("Nearer, My God, to Thee"). While that is true of modern worship music, it seems to me that a much higher percentage of the worship songs we sing in church are designed to lead me into God's presence, keep me there, express my heart in prayer, and commune with him ("Draw Me Close to You," "Blessed Be Your Name," "Breathe"), in ways that even the best hymns seldom do.

Oh, and one of the voices at that conference table a couple weeks ago mentioned the point that classic hymns have stood the test of time, which ought to prove that hymns are superior as a music form. I must grant that BOTH the "pop" nature of today's worship songs AND the frequency with which they are sung (sometimes repeated almost every week for months or more, until worn out, whereas the same hymn is seldom sung two weeks in a row) make it less likely that they will last for decades, let alone centuries. BUT that is also true of tens of thousands of hymns. The hymns we still sing are classic because they are among the few that have stuck around...among a huge number that entered well-deserved obscurity long ago (like the number my friend Dennis recently found in an old hymnal, "If Men Go to Hell, Who Cares?" I kid you not).

And, finally, some of today's most popular worship songs adapt or incorporate ancient and classic hymns, like "Be Thou My Vision" and "My Chains Are Gone/Amazing Grace." So it's not a cut-and-dried either/or thing. Not by a long shot.

Most importantly, of course, the typical argument (whether for or against current worship music) misses the point. Worship is not defined or limited by musical forms. I worship regularly in Gregorian chant, a music form that is more than a thousand years old, not to mention hymns and more modern worship music. Each form assists me in worship in one way or another...but I am the worshiper, not the form I use. It's perfectly okay to prefer one form over another....but it seems silly and absolutely unnecessary to me to try to argue for or against any of the forms. If a certain way of worshiping is not your cup of tea, fine...but it's a cup of tea, not a hill to die on.

The Jesus Creed

2013-06-12T13:49:00.000-04:00

I'm embarrassed that it took me this long, but I recently finished The Jesus Creed, by Scot McKnight. The 2004 book was the 2005 recipient of Christianity Today's Book Award, and deservedly so.

McKnight, the Karl A. Olsson Professor in Religious Studies at North Park College (Chicago), thoroughly and captivatingly presents the Jesus Creed (the Shema of Deuteronomy 6 plus Jesus' added priority of loving your neighbor as yourself) as the heart of what it means to follow Jesus and experience his kingdom. He divides the book into five sections:

1. The Jesus Creed ("a spiritually formed person loves God by following Jesus and loves others")
2. Stories of the Jesus Creed ("a spiritually formed person embraces the stories of others who love Jesus")
3. The Society of the Jesus Creed ("a spiritually formed person lives out kingdom values")
4. Living the Jesus Creed ("a spiritually formed person loves Jesus")
5. Jesus and the Jesus Creed ("a spiritually formed person participates in the life of Jesus")

I loved the book as a whole, but especially found the first few chapters compelling (due, I am sure, to my high degree of interest in the Jewish roots and background of Jesus' life and teaching, which figure repeatedly in the early chapters). I loved his wide choice of sources. I loved his sense of humor and his knack for story-telling. I agree with John Ortberg, who wrote in the foreword, "The Jesus Creed is both an invitation and a resource to put your spirit into [God's] hands, to dine at the Master's table." I found it so.

Eight Things I Wish I Had Been Taught When Training for Ministry

2013-06-10T12:00:00.000-04:00

Charm would've been good, too...

Matt Damico posted recently on "8 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before Seminary." It's worth reading even if you have never gone to seminary. Even if you never plan to. Even if you pray daily that you won't have to.

But it got me thinking. I'm not sure I can remember eight things I wish someone had told me before seminary. But I can remember and reflect on eight things I wish I had been taught when training for the ministry.

Now, don't get me wrong, my ministry training taught me many things. How to preach, more or less (mostly less). How to visit the sick. How to do simple accounting tasks. How to offer basic pastoral counseling. Stuff like that.

But, looking back now on thirty-plus years of public ministry, these are eight things I really, really wish (somehow) my ministry training had taught me, but didn't:

1. How to pray. To be fair, we did have a seminar on prayer, and I knew there were faculty members who were men and women of deep and constant prayer. And it probably wasn't something I would have learned from a class or seminar, per se, but from the example of a mentor over a period of months and years. (And that's not to say I didn't pray or didn't learn things about prayer, but it was decades before I could say I had truly learned to pray, and that came from a multitude of sources and experiences that I wish I could have had as a twenty-something wannabe pastor).

2. How to read the Bible. I'm grateful for the many great Bible classes I had while training for the ministry, and I was a voracious reader back in my training days, but I think I could have profited from a course (or two, or three) on reading the Bible for personal spiritual profit as opposed to studying it for ministry purposes (maybe along the lines of Gordon Fee's How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth).

3. How to Sabbath. Granted, I trained for ministry in a very activist tradition, but I still wish I had been taught the importance and practice of Sabbath all those years ago. It would have been a boon to my soul and my ministry. And my family.

4. How to handle criticism. Even with my glaring youthful weaknesses, no one could have foreseen all the mistakes I would make in ministry, and all the criticism (much of it justified) I would face over the years. And this alone may have required an additional year or two of training. And I probably would have shrugged off much of it because I truly thought (when I was in my twenties) we could all just get along. But a thorough preparation for criticism would have been helpful, nonetheless.

5. How to say no. This was surely touched on at some point--perhaps in a class or two on time management--but I could have used an entire ministry track on the importance of saying no and the art of saying no.

6. How to get a life. Looking back on three-plus decades of ministry, I can see (now, sure!) how insulated my life (and my family's life) was. I was so absorbed in my church and ministry that I barely knew my neighbors, barely had any friends outside my church or denomination, barely had any life outside the bunker of my responsibilities. This probably goes with knowing how to Sabbath or say no, but I fervently wish I had known how to (and had the priority of) getting a life in my community and neighborhood.

7. How to speak another modern language. I can't count how many times I've tried to learn Spanish over the years. Nor can I quantify how many times it would have been a blessing in my interactions with others. I know there are only so many hours in the day and days in the week for seminarians, but I do wish I had learned at least one modern language before launching out in ministry.

8. How to be. This kinda goes with the Sabbath point, but I was trained to do all sorts of things in ministry. And I did them faithfully for decades. But it wasn't until sometime in my third decade of ministry that I learned--again, from a variety of sources and experiences, among them the monks of the Abbey of Gethsemane--to be. To rest in God. To repose on him. To be rather than do.

This is not intended in any way as a criticism of the wonderful men and women who did teach me way back then (or tried to, at least). Nor is it to dismiss or belittle many of the good things I learned (well, except maybe the music appreciation class). But I do think I would have been better off to substitute these eight priorities for ANY of the classes I did take (except maybe Bernard Ditmer's Old Testament class; his impression of Queen Jezebel was about the highlight of my experience).

Why I Value Structured Prayer

2013-06-05T08:55:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite bloggers (and the author of the wonderful book, A Year of Biblical Womanhood) recently posted on the subject of structured prayer. To virtually everything in her post (here), I can only say "Amen." And "amen."

Why I Value Expository Preaching

2013-06-02T13:44:00.000-04:00

I'm not one of those people who thinks only expository preaching (that is, preaching that relies on--rather than obliquely refers to--a passage in the Bible, explains what it says, and how it applies today) is good or valid. However, I much prefer it. Much. May I say to you: Much.

Here's one reason why: there is a whole lot of preaching in churches today that makes good points and says good things in entertaining ways....but which relies mostly (or even exclusively) on the preacher's perspective and opinions, rather than on sound interpretation and explanation of the Bible.

But when a preacher tasks himself or herself with a passage of Scripture and lets it decide and guide what is said from the pulpit (or, as is often the case, music stand or plexiglas lectern), it can be both limiting and liberating. When you preach from a text, there is far less room (if you're honest) for opinions and personal prejudices to creep in. It can still be done, of course, but not so easily without raising red flags in the preacher's soul.

The problem many of us preachers face, however, is that we want to preach what we want to preach. We want to make certain points that Scripture may not make--or may not make unequivocally. But that is exactly why I prefer expository preaching, because it forces me as a student and communicator to make the points Scripture makes instead of the points I really want to make. And that's a good thing.

Six Books for Every Pastor

2013-05-20T15:27:00.001-04:00

Joel J. Miller posted recently on "Six Books for Every Pastor." Before you click on the link to read his post, take a minute: what books would you expect to be on the list?

I bet you're wrong.

It might also be interesting to compare my post, "Key Books for a Man or Woman Entering Ministry" or my "Ten Most Influential Books on Leading and Pastoring."

You Lost Me

2013-05-08T10:30:00.000-04:00

If you love the church....
If you are in ministry of any kind (pastor, leader, parachurch leader, etc.)...
If you have children or grandchildren...
If you love God, and those he loves...
then David Kinnaman's You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church...and Rethinking Faith is an absolute must-read.

Based on new research conducted by the Barna Group, You Lost Me identifies three kinds of young people who are leaving the church in droves--Nomads, Prodigals, and Exiles--and shares in careful, insightful detail six reasons they are leaving. But the book is not all diagnosis; it is also prescriptive, suggesting ways the church and her leaders can address those disconnections by making new "reconnections."

I found myself repeatedly saying "amen" and frequently highlighting passages. There is just too much important, critical, indispensable information and perspective even to give a sampling; it just wouldn't do it justice. But this single line from chapter two sets the tone for the whole book (and is supported by much that follows after): "We have to find new processes--a new mind--that make sense of faith in our new reality."

And these lines, which are offered by contributor Michael DiMarco in the final chapter, "Fifty Ideas to Find A Generation":

Most Christian organizations create a culture that dissuades confession. We create codes of conduct for youth that we either don't live by or strive to live without confessing our failures. All this does is create a dissonance that eventually deconstructs Instead of policies that help sinners rebound, we create communities that isolate sinners, either from the community by expulsion or within themselves because they have to keep sin hidden (leading a double life). Honor codes essentially become "don't ask, don't tell" documents--it's no wonder so many churched young adults leave the church!

You Lost Me is a clarion call for the church. It is a prescription for healing. For recovery. For sanity. I pray it is one the church will take.

Church of the Week: Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church, Milwaukee, WI

2013-05-06T11:17:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was Easter among our Orthodox brothers and sisters, and especially since my nephew David (and his handsome son, Isaac, who is at center in photos 5 & 6 as you scroll down) is pictured repeatedly in the photo essay on the Wright in Racine blog, I thought it fitting to present Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church in Milwaukee (a Frank Lloyd Wright design) as the Church of the Week. Seriously, check out Mark Hertzberg's whole post; it's beautiful.

Symbols and Idols

2013-05-02T10:12:00.001-04:00

"Churches are filled with symbols: crosses, liturgies, music, clergy, and even the building itself can appropriately symbolize our true worship of Yahweh. But the moment we "need" any one of them, they have lost their symbolic value and have become idols" (M. Craig Barnes, The Pastor as Minor Poet, p. 68).

Why Fall in Love with God?

2013-04-30T10:30:00.000-04:00

My latest book is entitled Falling in Love with God. Below is a video that explains it:

My Top 5 Mistakes as a Pastor

2013-04-26T10:30:00.000-04:00

Today's post here on the Desperate Pastor blog is a guest post from my friend, super-pastor Jeremy Carr. Jeremy is the lead pastor of Oxford Bible Fellowship in--you guessed it--Oxford, Ohio.

I’m not completely sure that the following are my top five mistakes as a pastor, as the title of this post promises, but they are five...out of a million. Some more serious, some just stupidly funny.

1. Using an illustration of my wife in a message without her permission.

This is a mistake preachers should only make once, especially if you want to remain married. I can’t even remember what the illustration was, but it was one of the dumbest decisions I’ve made. My wife is very generous with what she allows me to share, but some things are just off limits. It’s okay if I look bad; not okay to make her look bad. And after all, she IS amazing (hoping that makes up for it a bit).

2. Thinking I’m the Savior.

This is probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned. I remember early in ministry getting so excited to save marriages and restore families and heal all the wounds…only to find out I am massively inadequate. After the first marriage crisis continued to go up in smoke even after my incredible attempts to save it, I finally realized that I’m not the Savior, Jesus doesn’t need me, and I am desperate for him to work. I’m thankful that he uses us, but he doesn’t need us. He is the only Savior.

3. Thinking I’m Superman.

Only slightly better than my savior complex, for a while I thought I could lead everything, counsel everyone, and preach as many services as the day would allow. Then, after a semester of 4 Sunday services, pursuing a doctorate, leading a growing church with a limited staff, and trying to care for our then family of 5, I nearly quit the ministry. While it stinks to have a near burn out, I think every young pastor needs to get there before you understand how important the physical and emotional side of pastoring is. Only Jesus is Superman. We humans will have to settle for good rest, limits, delegation, exercise, down time, and recharging.

4. Failing to Confront and Hold Staff Accountable.

I’m thankful to work with a great staff. We have a great team environment, care for each other, and seek to advance the Gospel together. But as the team leader, I’ve had to learn some “boss” lessons the hard way. The biggest has been to lovingly and consistently hold my staff accountable. I have tended to be vague, inconsistent, and way too patient with underachieving staff members. I feared confronting and holding their feet to the fire. So I would let things go until I couldn’t handle it any more. Then I would abruptly fire someone I thought was performing poorly. The problem was that they were shocked and confused. I thought it was clear that they were failing, but the problem was that I had not communicated well and had not required accountability. This is a tough area. No one likes to confront and keep others accountable. But good leaders learn to do it. I’m not there yet, but I’m hoping to make some good progress in this area.

5. Preaching Blunders.

There is a mess of these. So here are a few. I’ve accidentally mispronounced many words, but the worst was when one came out as a cuss word. I think it began with an “S.” The college students loved it. I was rather embarrassed.

I’ve devoured Uno’s Chicken Fajita pizza on Saturday evening. You can imagine what that did to me on Sunday morning. Not a good idea, especially will multiple services to preach.

After doing some baptisms early in the service, in which I got fully wet, I went to change and realized I failed to pack clean boxers. Not a fun day to be preaching.

Like I said, those are just a few. I’ll probably add a new one this Sunday.

Happy Fourth Anniversary!

2013-04-25T10:30:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to the Desperate Pastor blog, which today marks its fourth anniversary!

The first post in Desperate Pastor history appeared on April 25, 2009. It was titled, "The Beauty of Broken Things." Since then, more than 1,200 posts have appeared in this humble little corner of the internet.

It's amazing how much ground we've covered in those four years, and how much can change (and has)! In that short timespan I've gone from struggle to victory, from discouragement to depression to deliverance, from pastoring full-time back to writing full-time (though I suppose I will always be a pastor at heart).

So, to celebrate, let me offer, based on a thoroughly scientific formula of traffic, reader response, and my own personal preferences, ten of the top Desperate Pastor posts in the first four years:

1. Sense-ational Preaching

2. Why Every Pastor Should Go to Israel

3. Balancing Ministry and Family

4. How I Got My Groove Back

5. How Technology Helps Me

6. Top Ten Things I've Learned as a Pastor

7. A 21st Century Epidemic

8. Me and My Prayer Journal

9. My Ten Favorite Moments as a Pastor

10. My Top Ten Successes as a Pastor

Thank you for reading this blog. Please keep reading. I'll do my best to make Year 5 better than those that have gone before.

Don't Put Vision Up for a Vote

2013-04-24T10:30:00.000-04:00

“Leaders don’t put vision up for a vote. They know that people will always vote to go back to Egypt, as they tried under Moses’ leadership” (Michael Slaughter, Unlearning Church, p. 136).

My Top Ten Successes as a Pastor

2013-04-22T10:30:00.000-04:00

A couple days ago I reflected on some of my failings and failures as a pastor (a tough job, narrowing all that material down to just ten items). Today I thought I'd exit the confessional and with the understanding that every one of the following must be swallowed only with the phrase, "by the grace and endless patience of God," I offer my (more or less) top ten successes over thirty-plus years (and four churches) as a pastor:

1. Guiding many to faith in Christ. No idea how many, but I treasure such memories as the recovering alcoholic kneeling at the altar, the brainy young woman at the coffeehouse table, the couple who entered premarital counseling as skeptics and got married as new Christ-followers, and the man who said he'd never felt "good enough" to give his life to Christ but ended up tearfully surrendering in the presence of me and his wife.

2. Staying married. This may not seem like a "pastoral success," but it is a victory to maintain a vibrant marriage through the strains and stresses of ministry. Of course, it's due mostly to my wife's wisdom and patience, but still...

3. Avoiding even the hint of scandal. Early in our ministry, my wife and I were given wise counsel to build strong boundaries and safeguards into our ministry, which we did. As a result, my deep storehouse of cluelessness and stupidity never resulted in anything remotely resembling a scandal--sexual, financial, or otherwise.

4. Raising two awesome kids. Again, not everyone would list this among their ministry triumphs, but I totally do. As I've posted elsewhere on this blog (here), I consider my marriage and family to be my first ministry priority (after the care of my own soul). So, though this, too, is due primarily to my wife's wisdom and patience, to have played a part in the raising of such exceptional people as Aubrey and Aaron is a great honor and joy (3 John 4).

5. Influencing and ordaining people for ministry. Over the years, we've been honored to play a small role in the decisions and direction of a dozen or more people who have entered full-time ministry and gone on to serve God with amazing effectiveness. They may not have been aware of our prayers. They may not remember our influence (if we had any). But we remember them with great and abiding gratitude and joy.

6. Helping God heal broken hearts. Repeatedly, it seems, the lovely Robin and I entered ministry situations where people's hearts had been broken. Some had been wounded by a pastor or church worker. Some were alienated from the church. We thank God that he allowed us to play a part in healing many broken hearts, and restoring many to the fellowship of the saints.

7. Starting Cobblestone Community Church. If you had told me thirty-three years ago that I would one day help to start a new church, I would have called you crazy. It was not in my sights. It was not in my skill set. But God gave me that honor, inexplicably.

8. Becoming a praying pastor. I wish it weren't true, but it is: I was not a man of prayer when I started in the ministry. And it took some time for God to revolutionize my prayer life, but he did. I thank him from the bottom of my heart that my later years of pastoral ministry were undergirded by prayer. They probably would have killed me, otherwise.

9. Making and cultivating lifelong friendships. At the very start of our ministry, the lovely Robin and I were counseled by some folks we respect to keep "a healthy distance" between ourselves and people in the church. We decided together to ignore that advice, and we've never been sorry. We treasure the friendships we made with God's people, many of which remain not only intact but close to this day.

10. Leaving things better than before. In ministry as in camping, it has always been a goal of mine to leave things better than I found them. I think the lovely Robin and I managed that, by God's grace. We had ups and downs, of course, but God granted us growth--numerically and spiritually--in each church. We managed to resurrect a failed capital campaign in our first church, breaking ground on an addition the day we were told we'd be moving. We inaugurated a groundbreaking child care center at our church in Cincinnati. We teamed with others to acquire land and build The Loft, the current home of Cobblestone Community Church. Over the years we saw people change and grow; we saw their faith deepen and broaden. We helped guide hundreds of thousand of dollars to missions efforts all over the world. We baptized, counseled, dedicated, married, and buried some of the finest people on the face of the earth. And more, but all of it by the grace of God.

Looking back, it is worth noting that the things I value most highly today are not the programs we ran or the budgets I administered. Not even the sermons I preached, though I always found great joy in that. Most of the "successes," if it's even appropriate to call them that, were the result of plodding faithfulness and relationship building. They were battles won in my prayer chair and in the day-to-day "inglorious" tasks of marriage, parenthood, friendship, and love.

Our Psychosis and Neurosis

2013-04-19T10:30:00.000-04:00

I used to think the church's inability to understand the rapidly changing world in which we live was neurotic. I'm now convinced it's psychotic. But our psychotic alignment with the place we're in exists alongside a neurotic interpretation about our place in the world. It's one thing for people to rest serenely in the limbo of our psychosis and never realize the ragbag of changes taking place during our lifetime. The masses of people do that. But it's another thing to call yourself a leader and not "be there." It's another thing to call yourself a preacher and conduct worship that bears no discernible trace of the world you inhabit (Leonard Sweet, Jesus Drives Me Crazy!, p. 66-67).

Ten Things I've Learned in Twenty-Five Years as a Pastor

2013-04-17T10:30:00.001-04:00

Today's post here on the Desperate Pastor blog is a guest post from my friend, super-pastor Chris Russell. Chris pastors Veritas Church in Monroe, Ohio. He blogs at SensibleFaith.com.

I was pouring a cup of coconut-mocha-flavored coffee recently when it dawned on me that I have now been involved in pastoral ministry for over twenty-five years. Wow! That sure gave me reason to stop and ponder the great things God has done in the past … [gulp] … quarter of a century of my life! It’s really been a life of learning. As I think back over those years of ministry, here are some things that God has taught me through the past twenty-five years:

1) Most people are in great need of authentic love.
Not everyone knows it, and not everyone admits it, but they are in great need of being loved. When a person lives without a close “tribe” of people in his life who really cares for him (or her), then many other problems begin to emerge in that person’s life. I believe that is why God made love so central to the Christian faith. God knows we need that love in our lives, and that can be so beautifully experienced through life in the Church.

2) Commitment Ain’t What it Used to Be.
People just aren’t all that “into” commitment these days, it would seem. Early in my ministry, it seemed like the core leaders in the church normally attended church about eight or nine out of every ten Sundays. Occasional attendees would attend maybe one or two times per month. My experience today, however, is that even core leaders seem to average attending two-to-three times a month. I believe our “busy-ness” today has caused many to drift from those commitments that could bring the most benefit to their lives and families.

3) You can’t make people change who do not want to change.
Early on in my ministry, I thought it was my fault when people would continue in poor patterns of behavior. But God eventually showed me that people must want to change if they are going to be able to change at all. My job was to give them God’s truth. Their job was to commit to obeying God’s truth.

4) People know shockingly little about the Bible.
I am regularly surprised at the low amounts of Bible knowledge people seem to have today. In the midst of so many controversial issues in our culture, it’s no wonder we often hear Christians arguing for positions that are antithetical to biblical principles. Many people who claim to be speaking from a Christian vantage point are merely expressing their own opinions with no biblical basis at all. Imagine how different this would be if people actually took time to learn God’s perspectives through the Scriptures.

5) Every person, in one way or another, is fighting a big battle.
We often assume that we are the only ones struggling while others around us have it easy. But the reality is that all of us struggle, and those battles are often very similar. When you take time to get to know “people without problems,” you find out that they struggle just like everyone else. With this in mind, we should maintain a spirit of grace as we interact with others each day.

6) God takes great delight in using under-qualified people.
It has been such a joy over the years to see God doing extraordinary things through ordinary people. When someone tells me they don’t think they really have much talent or many skills for serving the Lord, I think, “Perfect, you’re exactly the type of person that God loves to use! That way, he gets the credit.”

7) God can rescue/change any life. ANY LIFE.
In twenty-five years of ministry, I have seen God rescue people from just about every type of destructive lifestyle imaginable. Alcoholism. Sexual addictions. Those who abuse or become abused in relationships. Even murderers have discovered forgiveness and restoration through Jesus. God can change you and me, too.

8) You can’t change your past, but you can change your future.
Some people spend their lives staring through the rear-view mirror. All they can think about are the mistakes they’ve made in the past. I am so thankful that we serve a God of forgiveness and restoration. The reality is that I cannot do anything to change the messes I’ve made in the past. However, I CAN make changes in my life that will ensure that my future is a completely different story.

9) It’s best to invest your greatest resources in that which will still be around in ten thousand years.
This world is so temporary! There is no real use in putting your greatest energies and resources into life on this side of grave. We will get the greatest return when we invest in that which is spiritual: our relationship with God and the souls of others around us.

10) The last chapter of history has already been written.
I have discovered that I do not need to get stressed out about what I see going on in the world around me. The reality is that the last chapter of history has already been written. For those of us who know Christ, it ends well, no matter how difficult things may get in the interim.

Church of the Week: Thorncrown Chapel

2013-04-15T10:30:00.002-04:00

My son and daughter-in-law spent a week recently at a resort in the wilds of northern Arkansas, near the unique town of Eureka Springs, and found there this beautiful chapel--Thorncrown Chapel--and sent me these photos.

From the Thorncrown website:

Nestled in a woodland setting, Thorncrown Chapel rises forty-eight feet into the Ozark sky. This magnificent wooden structure contains 425 windows and over 6,000 square feet of glass. It sits atop over 100 tons of native stone and colored flagstone, making it blend perfectly with its setting. The chapel's simple design and majestic beauty combine to make it what critics have called "one of the finest religious spaces of modern times."

Thorncrown was the dream of Jim Reed, a native of Pine Bluff, Arkansas. In 1971 Jim purchased the land which is now the site of the chapel to build his retirement home. However, other people admired his location and would often stop at his property to gain a better view of the beautiful Ozark hills. Instead of fencing them out, Jim decided to invite them in. One day while walking up the hill to his house, the idea came to him that he and his wife should build a glass chapel in the woods to give wayfarers a place to relax in an inspiring way.

Shortly thereafter Jim met E. Fay Jones, a professor at the university of Arkansas at Fayetteville....[In addition to studies at the University of Arkansas, Rice University, [and] the University of Oklahoma [Jones studied under] Frank Lloyd Wright at the Taliesin Fellowship....The inspiration for Thorncrown Chapel was Sainte Chappelle, Paris’ light filled gothic chapel. Fay affectionately labeled Thorncrown’s style as “Ozark Gothic”....

On July 10, 1980 Thorncrown Chapel opened. Since then over six million people have visited this little chapel on the hillside. Thorncrown has won numerous architectural awards. It has been featured on television programs such as NBC Nightly News and the 700 Club. Almost every major magazine in the country has carried a story about the chapel including Time, Newsweek, and Parade.

Thorncrown Chapel is open daily from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM. It is located on Highway 62 West three miles outside of Eureka Springs. There is no admission fee, but donations are accepted.

Accidental Pharisees

2013-04-12T10:30:00.001-04:00

Larry Osborne's book, Accidental Pharisees, is a gift to the church. Everyone should read it. Especially those of us who don't think they need to.

The title (and the blood red of the cover) may turn off some readers, but it is an engaging, encouraging, and truly helpful read. It convincingly shows how pharisaism has wreaked havoc in the modern church, and how to avoid, resist, and reverse the spirit of pharisaism that is so prevalent and so destructive. He manages to tackle the subject with abundant humility, mercy, and grace, without pulling punches. He does so in seven sections:

Accidental Pharisees: The Dark and Dangerous Side of Overzealous Faith
Pride: When Comparison Becomes Arrogance
Exclusivity: When Thinning the Herd Becomes More Important Than Expanding the Kingdom
Legalism: When Sacrifice Crowds Out Mercy
Idolizing the Past: When Idealism Distorts Reality
The Quest for Uniformity: How Uniformity Destroys Unity
Gift Projection: When My Calling Becomes Everyone Else's Calling

It is a joy to read, and a blessing to have read. And a crucial, timely message to all who desire to follow Jesus faithfully in this confusing and competitive day and age.

The Ultimate Offertory Prayer

2013-04-10T10:30:00.000-04:00

O Lord, no matter what we say or do,
Here is what we think of you.

(Hilbert J. Berger)

A Pastor's Favorite Poets

2013-04-09T10:30:00.000-04:00

In honor of National Poetry Month (and also because I think there is an intersection--an overlap--between the poet's craft and the pastor's task, as M. Craig Barnes so ably demonstrates in his book, The Pastor as Minor Poet), I herewith offer my ten favorite poets:

1. William Shakespeare
"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player..."

2. Robert Frost
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood..."

3. Emily Dickinson
"Each life converges to some centre/Expressed or still..."

4. Wendell Berry
"Even while I dreamed I prayed that what I saw was only fear and no foretelling..."

5. Mary Oliver
"I thought the earth remembered me..."

6. Robinson Jeffers
"The wild God of the world is sometimes merciful to those/That ask mercy, not often to the arrogant..."

7. Christina Rossetti
"Then He shall say, 'Arise, My love,/My fair one, come away.'"

8. Albert Orsborn
"I know Thee as Thou art/And what Thy healing name..."

9. Edgar Lee Masters
"Out of me unworthy and unknown /The vibrations of deathless music..."

10. Richard Wilbur
"I can’t forget/How she stood at the top of that long marble stair/Amazed..."

My Top Ten Failings as a Pastor

2013-04-08T10:30:00.000-04:00

Among the stated purposes of the Desperate Pastor blog is to share my struggles as a “desperate pastor,” in the hope that others may feel less alone, be encouraged, and most importantly, be reminded of our mutual need for God and his ordaining, sustaining, and overcoming power. I’ve shared before on this blog (in a series called “A Pastor’s Failings”) about some of my failings as a pastor. But I’ve never ranked my top failings or mistakes as a pastor. So I thought I’d spend a few moments trying to sum up and order my top ten (or bottom ten) pastoral shortcomings, over nearly twenty years and four churches. I’ll do my best to keep it brief, with the disclaimer that there are many more than ten and much more that could be said about each of the following:

Overworking. I too often cheated myself, my family, and ultimately the flock by working as if God couldn’t be trusted to handle things without me. I failed to distinguish between a strong work ethic...and an unhealthy obsession.
Doing too much ministry. Due to my personality (and training), I tended to do far more ministry than I should have. In other words, I wish I had focused more effort on equipping OTHERS for ministry rather than doing so much of it myself.
Trusting too quickly and fully. I have always loved and led from a position of trust, assuming I could trust people until they gave me reason not to. It would be one thing if that naiveté hurt only me, but it also frequently and deeply hurt the church (more on that here).
Avoiding conflict. By default, I try to play well with others. I also tend to run from conflict. I hope (and pray, of course) that things will get better if I leave them alone. That’s a horribly stupid (and faithless) trait for a leader in God’s church.
Failing to cast vision constantly to other leaders first, then the rest of the church. It often took long and hard prayer, but I usually had a fairly clear vision of what God was saying to the church. Unfortunately, I often ran ahead of other leaders and unwittingly kept them out of the process, which hindered our progress and undermined my leadership.
Using email for difficult or emotional conversations. I am always able to think more clearly when I’m able to put things into writing. Nothing wrong with that (I'm also a writer, after all). However, several times I actually shared those lengthy, emotionally-charged words via email. Even though I sought and heeded counsel before doing so, I should have known better. Each instance had disastrous consequences, and it was my fault.
Tolerating divisive people. As I’ve written elsewhere (here), one of my great failings as a pastor over the years has been failing to lovingly but firmly correct and warn divisive people in the church, as Scripture commands. I have repeatedly let contentious people continue their divisive activities. And I have paid for it. As have the churches I pastored.
Mistaking motion for movement. I habitually let ministries arise or continue that were outside the main focus and calling of each of my churches. But, as I’ve written elsewhere on this blog (here), activity ≠ accomplishment. In fact, the more activity, the less focused my efforts--and the efforts of the church--became.
Failing to keep in touch with influential people in the church. In general, I’ve found that the more I know someone, the harder it is to suspect or misunderstand him or her--and vice versa. However, I often let myself become too busy to spend time with good people, who in turn became suspicious of me or unhappy with me. That’s surely not the whole story, but I certainly would have led better had I not neglected relationships with influential people in the church.
Too quickly taking responsibility and too freely sharing my shortcomings. I include this one for my wife, who has over the years told me that I have a way of doing this that she believes lets others off the hook and invites criticism of me that she says is often unfounded or too severe. She’s not been the only one to point this out. And, now that I think of it, I think I’m actually doing it again, right now. (See how sinister it is?)

Saddest of all, perhaps, is that even after this pathetic confessional, there are many more failings I could list. And those are just the ones of which I’m aware! If you’re a pastor, perhaps you can identify. We are all just“clay pots,” as Scripture says (2 Corinthians 4:7). Oddly enough, though, that’s a good thing, when all is said and done, because it makes it abundantly clear that “the real power comes from God and not from us” (CEV). Ain’t that the truth.

Sent

2013-04-05T10:30:00.000-04:00

Sent, by Hilary Alan, tells the story (as the subtitle promises) of how one ordinary family traded the American dream for God's greater purpose. It is the story of Hilary (the author), her husband Curt, and their two children, who took the risk of actually listening to God and considering the possibility that a comfortable suburban life and convenient church involvement was not the sum total of what God had in mind for their lives.

With engaging honesty and humility, Alan details how a "normal" Christian family reached the point of selling all their carefully-acquired home and belongings in order to move themselves and their teen children to the site of an unimaginable tragedy--and unpredictable challenges. It is an inspiring and convicting account of faith, courage, and witness.

While some of the book's anecdotes ended disappointingly, and others, in the telling, promised more than they delivered, over all the book is an easy and enjoyable read...but one that may make the reader uneasy as he or she contemplates the depth and breadth of God's call on his or her own life. The best parts, for this reader, were those (early on) that depicted the family confronting their seemingly radical call, and those that detailed them coping with and adjusting to the people and customs of their new home in Southeast Asia. Another favorite: the fourth-from-last chapter, in which the author contrasted the things the family surrendered with the far greater things God gave them in place of those things.

I hope this book is read by many, many people--and not just those who already have an interest in cross-cultural ministry or radical discipleship. Its message is for all who claim to love God and follow Jesus Christ.

Why Do We Fall in Love?

2013-04-03T10:30:00.001-04:00

Why does pretty much everyone want to love and be loved? I hope this video helps a little to explain it.

If you can get past the homely face and annoying voice, you'll be glad you did. And, you'll be glad you forwarded it, tweeted it, and posted it to everyone you know. And I will, too.