Communication Coach

Communication Coach: Top 7 Tips to Surviving the Work Christmas Party

2011-12-21T09:26:00.000-05:00

Communication Coach: Top 7 Tips to Surviving the Work Christmas Party: ‘Tis the season to be invited to Christmas ( or ‘holiday’ or ‘festive season’, etc .) parties sponsored by your place of employment. ...

Effective Business Networking

2011-11-30T00:39:00.001-05:00

Hello fellow professionals out there!

Today’s topic is on effective business networking.

Last week I attended an H.R. (Human Resources)-related networking function here in Toronto, as the guest speaker was the author of a book I had first read a few years ago and I really enjoyed the positive message about living life to the fullest, and having great communication skills (at least that’s what I got out of it). The book is called Tapping the Iceberg by Tim Cork, and I highly recommend it. Anyway, I went to this networking function to see if I could get my book signed (which I did) and maybe meet some HR professionals who might be interested in learning more about how communication coaching could benefit their company executives and managers, or how a group workshop can be both cost-effective and beneficial to their staff training.

I met as many people as I could without rushing conversations, and I asked for introductions to others whom I had not met. I politely interrupted some people (with a smile) to include myself in their conversations, and I spent time with them in deep, meaningful learning exchanges, complete with a swapping of cards.

While I was there I noticed that some people seemed to be a bit shy starting conversations with people they had not met yet (i.e. “strangers”), even though we had name-tags on!

Now I understand that it can be difficult for some people to make small talk with strangers. That is why I have a course on how to overcome that social challenge. However the interesting thing to me is that this particular event was specifically set up to network, and even focused on one industry (HR) – which one might assume would increase the level of comfort in the room even among strangers. Not so I guess. There were still those who were wallflowers, who were meek and who were just talking to their friends and only engaged with others if approached first.

The lesson I want to share with you today is to remember that at networking events you have a choice: be a Guest or be The Host. A guest sits waiting for others to take care of them, and a host pro-actively ensures others are having a good time and meets and greets constantly. The host is remembered and the guest is often not, especially at a large event. You are there for a short time and with a mission – to find and build connections. There is no reason to be shy with starting conversations with a smile and no reason why you don’t have the right to pursue career advancement by networking. Networking at a networking event is like shooting fish in a barrel – as long as you are not shy with the trigger.

Be The Host.

Happy hunting,

Coach Ric
http://www.3VCommunications.ca
Tweets:
http://twitter.com/CommCoach
Videos:
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Study Body Language at Home with DVDs etc.

2011-10-12T22:01:00.000-04:00

Update: Mike Bullard Show Discussing Body Language Today

2011-09-28T11:13:00.001-04:00

Still doing interviews re: last night's Premier Debate. Will have an online article come out today in Globe & Mail, (so I'm told) and - I'll be a guest today on the Mike Bullard Show "Beyond the Mic" (NewsTalk 1010) at 12:23, discussing body language etc. of the Premier Debate last night. If you would like to listen in, here is the link:
http://www.newstalk1010.com/Shows/BeyondtheMicwithMikeBullard.aspx

Debate Update: Who Had the Best Body Language at ON Debate?

2011-09-27T22:23:00.001-04:00

Debate Update: Who Had the Best Body Language at ON Debate?

See my quick notes on just the body language of McGuinty, Hudak and Horwath as they duked it out for the chance to be the next (or remaining) Ontario Premier, in tonight's Debate. Click the above link now to see post.

Body Language: What The Leaders Are Really Saying

2011-09-27T13:30:00.001-04:00

This is a brief article and some audio from an interview I recently did with Katie at NewsTalk 1010 in Toronto, regarding the body language and public speaking skill of Dalton McGuinty, Tim Hudak and Andrea Horwath. Enjoy the debate tonight!
Click on either of the links below:

http://www.newstalk1010.com/News/localnews/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10293325

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What You Can Do to Communicate with Comfort and Trustworthiness

2011-09-26T12:45:00.002-04:00

Hello Fellow Communication Enthusiasts,

Today’s post is about what you can do to communicate with comfort and trustworthiness.

Many business leaders, politicians and public speakers need to get a clear message out to their audience to “trust me”, “follow me” and “believe me”. Right now in Ontario, Canada we are in the middle of a race to elect the next (or same) Premier. Will it be the current Liberal leader Dalton McGuinty, or PC Tim Hudak or NDP Andrea Horwath? I have been doing some interviews with media on body language analysis and public speaking techniques for the voters to pay attention to as they watch their would-be leaders on television.

Let’s look at the 3Vs of communicating with comfort and trustworthiness.
Verbally, you need to use words that engage, build rapport quickly, and establish trust. Use these words/phrases like these:
Friends, …
Fellow (Ontarians, Canadians, Business leaders, etc.)…
We are all in this together…
We all want to avoid a (mistake, economic recession, higher taxes, etc.)
I want to assure you that…
I trust that…
You can trust that…
You can believe me when I say…
Believe me, I will…
Etc.

Vocally, your voice and speech need to be a lower tone/pitch, use medium speed with pauses before and after key words, phrases and points, and use medium volume with a clear voice. You are going for a rhythm that is at times melodic or hypnotic but without putting people to sleep! And you will match certain gestures with your stressed words.

Visually to establish rapport and trust, you need to be open and friendly (approachable) in your body language, use an engaging smile or even a laugh if appropriate, and not be wearing a ‘power suit’. In this case we are attempting to create warmth and trust, not separation from the common group. Your hands should gesture in open, symmetrical ways and predominantly be in front of the belly or up to the heart level. Speaking ‘from the heart’ is great for our goals of rapport, comfort and trust.

Lastly, do not rock back and forth or side to side when speaking, and do not back up when making your points. The audience will read this as a dis-connect between your words and non-verbal communication and it will be a problem. Your base needs to be as solid as a rock, but your upper body of course gestures smoothly and appropriately with the chosen words.

I hope you use these 3V communication tips the next time you have to win an audience over. If you are interested in learning more please check out my blogs, and if you feel you would benefit from a personal assessment then contact me through my website and we can set something up.

Enjoy your day and if you are in Ontario enjoy the upcoming election debate. I know I will be watching the 3 leaders with a keen eye to see how they make us feel when they speak.

All the best,

Ric Phillips, Communication Coach/Trainer,
President of 3V Communications Ltd.
Toronto, ON Canada
http://www.3VCommunications.ca

Jack Layton – A Confident Communicator Gone Too Soon

2011-08-24T15:10:00.001-04:00

Jack Layton – A Confident Communicator Gone Too Soon

As we all know by now in Canada and many parts of the world, our fearless leader of the Opposition, Jack Layton, has succumbed to a second battle with cancer. He was only 61.

Jack was a great communicator because he was able to handle himself in difficult discussions (as the 2011 Leadership Debate certainly highlighted) as well as add a soft touch, a human connection to those he spoke with. He could connect with anyone and make them feel important whether it was face-to-face, over the phone or through email. Those close to him commented often on this ability to shift from professional lecturer/debater to small-town folksy chit-chatter. As a matter of fun-fact, before the 2011 election he was voted the guy Canadians would most want to have a beer with, compared to the other 3 federal leaders he was running against, in an online survey. More noteworthy was his ability to be memorable to those he met, for example the security guards at the Ottawa parliament buildings. That was a key concept of effective communication that Jack understood and employed – the ability to be remembered. That is one of the ingredients to having what people call ‘charm’ and ‘charisma’....
To continue reading this blog post, please go HERE: Jack Layton – A Confident Communicator Gone Too Soon

How Do You First Build Confidence So That You Can Speak With It?

2011-08-05T11:49:00.000-04:00

I am going to answer that in a second but before we start I just want to give a quick shout-out to the Seneca College Corporate Communications graduating class of 2011, and thank them again for inviting me to be their guest speaker at last night’s ‘Body Talks’ event. It was an honour to give a talk and demonstrate body language analysis and techniques for them. We all had a lot of fun!

Okay, back to our main subject – how do you first build confidence so that you can speak with it? Interesting question.

It is easy for me to tell you that you need to speak, move, act and think with confidence in order to be the confident communicator you want to be. We can agree that confident people are challenged less, influence others more than often, and build up a network of allies quickly and seemingly effortlessly. All good.

But one thing that might be missing is the actual transformation; how do we go from shy, unassuming regular person to outstanding, charismatic influential leader?

I’m not going to tell you it’s all in one book, but – I created an ebook that will certainly help. It’s called “Communicating Confidence Inside & Out – How to Build Confidence, Be Assertive and Succeed!” It is interactive so it makes you do assessments and quizzes, written and speaking exercises, and a bit of soul-searching as well.

If you follow the instructions of this book and do the homework, you will learn what is holding you back, how to deal with in internally first, and then how to project confidence outwards in your communications. I guarantee it.

Without further ado here is the link to check out the ebook. (You can preview the first 10 pages as well to get an idea of what you are in for before you buy it.)

http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/communicating-confidence-inside-out---how-to-build-confidence-be-assertive-and-succeed/16431017

I hope you find the subject of confident communications as interesting and as essential to success as I do, and I look forward to your response. I wouldn’t put my name on this if I didn’t believe in it.

Have a great day!

Coach Ric
P.S. You can also connect with me here:
Main Website:
http://www.3VCommunications.ca
LinkedIn:
http://www.linkedin.com/in/communicationcoach
Twitter:
http://twitter.com/CommCoach
Facebook Page:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/3V-Communications-Communication-Skills-Training/14886705364
YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/CommCoach73
Digg.com
http://digg.com/commcoach

Confident Verbal Communications for Assertiveness

2011-07-21T23:50:00.000-04:00

There are times we must speak and tread softly, and I am a big believer in being non-confrontational most of the time. But what I find is that some people are so concerned with being non-confrontational that they lose their assertiveness. That is not so good for their self-esteem, or their relationships with co-workers, family and friends. Often times it invites others to treat you like a doormat. Please don’t get in the habit of avoiding all conflict just for the sake of ‘avoiding conflict’. We sometimes need to be assertive, without being aggressive.

Here is a sample of what I teach to help my clients, folks just like you I imagine, communicate with confidence. Please click here to visit the special blog post:

Confident Verbal Communications for Assertiveness

Recovering from a Bad First Impression

2011-07-09T20:50:00.000-04:00

Have you ever met someone new at a dinner party, networking function, or a dating event, and they rubbed you the wrong way immediately? Something they said or did, or they way they spoke or acted, just really turned you off? Sure, we all have had that experience.

Now let me ask you, do you think the person was truly aware of their negative vibe at the time? Probably not right? They probably did not try to upset you on purpose, right? So if you didn’t tell them afterwards of their bad first impression, then they may never know how they came off, and may even think they made a good impression with you! They may be a bit confused the next time they see you as to why you are running in the opposite direction!

My next question is - could this be you? Is it possible that you accidentally gave an unintended negative first impression with a new co-worker, friend of a friend, or even on a date? Sure it is. Now what can be done?

Here are some quick steps to take to recover from a bad first impression, assuming you were made aware of it afterwards.

1 – Evaluate feedback rationally. Who told you that your first impression was negative? Was it the principle person, or friend or observer? Consider the source before you condemn yourself. However if you trust the source, or it comes from the principles’ own mouth, then it is time to move to step two.

2 – Self-evaluate. Ask yourself what impression were you trying to make, and what went wrong? Was this a misunderstanding? Do you do this same thing with other people as well? Is it time you stopped making excuses for this annoying behaviour and accepted that it needs to be changed? Write things down to be clear and focused.

3 – Contact. Send an email or if you are brave enough, a call or face-to-face meeting with your accidental victim. Acknowledge your specific flaw or quirk and explain that that is not normally how you act, or at least explain that there is more to you than just what they saw that evening, and you would like a second chance to show them the real you. You are not apologizing for your personality, but you can let someone know that you are aware of your bad first impression, and want to show a more rounded personality instead of just what was revealed during the first meeting. Most people can really appreciate the bravery and humbleness it takes to do this.

4 – Modify. Did you dominate the conversation last time? Well, next time take a break, ask some questions and listen. Were you so shy and quiet last time that the person thought you were bored or uninterested? Then next time you need to be engaged, make lots of eye contact, use active listening skills, and show enthusiasm. Did last meeting sound like an interview to the person? Okay, time to lighten up, stick to general topics for now, and give the person time to open up. I am not suggesting you act completely the opposite, but try to modify yourself and take steps in the right direction to be more balanced. This will improve your conversational dynamics.

5 – Try your best. Continue to try to be aware of you own first impressions, and modify when appropriate. But also accept the fact that not everyone will like you or get along with you, as there are different personalities out there. The point is that people do not have to love you, but they should at least feel comfortable with you on a first meeting.

After doing a self-assessment, if you think you need to improve your “art of small talk and winning first impressions”, you may find this page helpful:

http://www.3vcommunications.ca/interpersonal-communications/

Here’s to your confident communications!

Using 3V Communications to Manage Your First Impression

2011-06-10T18:57:00.001-04:00

Don't go into a new client meeting or interview with a casual, "I'll just be myself" attitude. Learn how the best communicators plan for success, using the 3Vs of communication.

Using 3V Communications to Manage Your First Impression

The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication

2011-06-01T13:46:00.000-04:00

The latest 3V Communications newsletter is out! The topic is the importance of non-verbal communication. You would get this newsletter automatically if you are subscribed to the 3VC newsletter, but if not, here is where you can temporarily see it for about a month: CLICK HERE

Enjoy!

7 Deadly Sins of Email

2011-06-01T08:51:00.000-04:00

Ok I know this video could have been 'spruced up' a bit, but the content is practical and right on the money. Ensure you are not abusing emails!

Communication Coach analyzes body language of leaders part 2

2011-05-10T11:51:00.001-04:00

Communication Coach analyzes body language of leaders part 1

2011-05-10T11:49:00.003-04:00

10 Things the World Can Learn From Japan

2011-05-09T22:34:00.000-04:00

Hello readers,

I don't know who originally wrote this list, but I found it interesting. I have been to Japan a couple of times and it is a country easy to rave about, especially when you want excellent food, customer service, beautiful scenery, and great people. Since the earthquake Japan is really struggling, and yet, as this list indicates, she does not lose her composure.

If you want to understand where all this 'national DNA' or 'cultural training' came from, I can recommend a great book to read, called "BUSHIDO: The Soul of Japan" by Nitobe Inazo. This is an old book, first published in 1905, as a way for the author to try to teach the visiting foreigners and businessmen about why the Japanese think and act the way they do. It's not a light read, but if you are interested in the culture, then it's a must-read.

Anyway, without further ado, here is the 10 things the world can learn from Japan:

1. THE CALM:
Not a single visual of chest-beating or wild grief. Sorrow itself
has been elevated.

2. THE DIGNITY:
Disciplined queues for water and groceries. Not a rough
word or a crude gesture.

3. THE ABILITY:
The incredible architects, for instance. Buildings swayed but
didn’t fall.

4. THE GRACE:
People bought only what they needed for the present, so
everybody could get something.

5. THE ORDER:
No looting in shops. No honking and no overtaking on the
roads. Just understanding.

6. THE SACRIFICE:
Fifty workers stayed back to pump seawater in the N-
reactors. How will they ever be repaid?

7. THE TENDERNESS:
Restaurants cut prices. An unguarded ATM is left alone. The
strong cared for the weak.

8. THE TRAINING:
The old and the children, everyone knew exactly what to do.
And they did just that.

9. THE MEDIA:
They showed magnificent restraint in the bulletins. No silly
reporters. Only calm reportage.

10. THE CONSCIENCE:
When the power went off in a store, people put things back
on the shelves and left quietly. That's Japan.

Ric Phillips, Communication Coach Bio Video

2011-05-04T15:45:00.001-04:00

A Very Busy April Weekend!

2011-04-30T00:18:00.001-04:00

Well first off I’d like to congratulate the newest royal married couple, Will and Kate. It was a fantastic wedding, and I wish you the best. As a Communication Coach, I hope that you continue to relate directly to your public, and don’t be afraid to be real in front of the camera, within reason of course!

Next, I have to send a big Good Luck to GSP (Georges St. Pierre), Mark Hominick, Jason MacDonald and the rest of the Canadian contingent who will be representing this great country on the mat and in the ring this Saturday at UFC 129. It is the first time the UFC has held an event in Toronto, and it was the biggest sell-out so far at 55 thousand seats. I’ll be watching and cheering them on. In the octagon, you cannot hide who you are. The truth will reveal itself. Buckle up.

Speaking of representing our great nation, who is going to win the Canadian federal election? May 2nd is the time to vote and support whichever party leader you believe will do the best job. Or, as some people have suggested, you can pick the one who does the least trash-talking and dirty ad campaigns. (That would be why Smilin’ Jack Layton has doubled his numbers in the last 2 weeks – people are sick and tired of the Liberal and Conservative dirty politics!)

I have to toot my own horn here for a second – it was a great honour to be asked to give my expert communication assessment of the federal leaders’ body language (and other non-verbal communications) after their Federal Leaders’ Debate held April 12th. I was interviewed by 1130 News in Vancouver, AM640 Toronto – The John Oakley Show as well as by host Stephen LeDrew on CP24 LeDrew Live TV show shortly after. I told everyone basically the same thing, which is that from a communication point of view, Mr. Harper had the best showing. He was calm, in control, did not get rattled when he was attacked, and he made symmetrical open hand/arm gestures stemming from his navel, which is an area called the ‘truth plane’. It’s a good place to keep your hands when you are trying to win trust.

Mr. Ignatieff used some poor hand gestures and was caught with his hand on his hip, but did use the ‘rule of 3’ well, which is when you use 3 words that are easy to remember. He repeated “jets, jails and corporate tax cuts” often enough that I still remember them! Problem is, if you overuse this technique, it sounds stale.

Mr. Layton used his smile well, in that he looked great deflecting the criticism with a smile and a joke. He has pretty good posture in general and leads with a strong voice. He was smoother that night that I expected, since Jack usually sounds choppy. He did a great job and I’m not surprised his ratings improved after the debate.

Mr. Duceppe has an obvious disadvantage in that English is his second language, but I can tell you that in any language you do not want to be caught reading your notes, which he was a couple of times. When he speaks fast and impromptu he does not sound as good as when he is prepared and calm.

These are just a few of the things that I noted during the debate. Unfortunately the video from the TV show and the audio from the two radio interviews are not available at this time. However here is a link to a short article from the Vancouver news station, should you be interested:
http://www.news1130.com/news/local/article/211782--harper-was-debate-winner-in-body-language-expert

Have a great weekend, and if you are Canadian, please vote May 2nd. The future is in our hands.

PS – if you or someone you know needs executive coaching, especially for media, public speaking or presentations, please pass along my website contact info. These days it is extremely important that managers and other executives representing the government or a company are clear and confident in their messages to the public, or to the shareholders.

Thank you,

Coach Ric Phillips
3V Communications
http://www.CommunicationCoach.ca

Harper was debate winner in body language: expert - News1130

2011-04-14T07:24:00.000-04:00

Harper was debate winner in body language: expert - News1130

(My first radio interview on the federal debates)

The John Oakley Show - Body Language of Cdn Leaders

2011-04-13T17:07:00.000-04:00

Hello,

After a radio interview this morning and a TV appearance today on the Stephen LeDrew Live show, I have been asked to continue sharing my analysis of the non-verbal communication of the 4 Canadian Leaders during their Tuesday evening debate.

I am happy that I will be on the John Oakley Show - AM 640 - Toronto, at 7:30am (April 14th).

Here is a link to his show's website, where you can find a link to listen live, if you wish, or listen afterward, as long as the link is up.

Thanks John!

http://www.640toronto.com/HostsandShows/JohnOakley/Main.aspx

Correction - TV Appearance Has Changed

2011-04-11T22:16:00.000-04:00

Hi "fans" ;)

I have just been informed that the federal leaders will continue talking after 9pm tomorrow (because 2 hours is not enough I guess), so I will not have time to be on LeDrew Live Tuesday at 9pm. HOWEVER they have asked me to come in for WEDNESDAY at NOON instead. So I am happy to oblige.

CP24 (City News) LeDrew Live with host Stephen LeDrew. Look for me around noon on Wednesday.

Thanks,

Coach Ric

Body Language at the Cdn Federal Leaders' Debate on Tuesday

2011-04-11T00:03:00.000-04:00

Hello Communication Enthusiasts!

Many Canadians will be watching the Federal Leaders' Debate happening in English this Tuesday April 12th, from 7-9 pm EST. I am sure it will be full of interesting mini-speeches, critiques, replies and maybe some humour. I am also sure it will contain a lot of body language and other non-verbal communication, both positive and negative.

I have been asked by CityNews/CP24 to be a guest on the Stephen LeDrew Live show following the debate. I will be asked to give my expert opinion on the body language used by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Michael Ignatieff, Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe during their debate. I am honoured by the request and have agreed to share some thoughts on air.

As of right now the producers think I would be on around 9:30 pm. I'm not sure how much detail Mr. LeDrew will be asking of me so I don't know how long my segment will be, but I will endevour to give fair and balanced feedback on each of the politician's body language, and the inferred meaning and feeling. It must be a difficult job to be a professional politician!

Enjoy the debate and enjoy the LeDrew Live show!

Communication Coach Ric Phillips

Stats on Lying

2011-03-17T09:29:00.001-04:00

How To Spot A Liar by Forensic Psychology

Introducing TCS - Toronto Customer Service Blog

2011-03-07T23:15:00.000-05:00

Hello Readers,

For a couple of years now I have enjoyed conversations with friends about terrible customer service or great customer service, and it seems there is an endless supply of stories, especially here in the big city of Toronto. We Canadians pride ourselves on our stereotypical politeness and our overuse of "please" and "thank you" but the sad fact is that the average customer service experience here in Toronto is mediocre or "good-enough" at best. Here is the problem: when we get great service, whether it is at a restaurant or while dealing with a utility company or any other service industry, we are genuinely shocked and almost overwhelmed. We RAVE about the wonderful service. Why? Because it isn't normal here! Isn't that wrong? So I have created this:

http://tcs-torontocustomerservice.blogspot.com/

As a professional Communication Coach I train people in advanced communication skills which, as you can imagine, includes customer service, building rapport, conflict management etc. Considering my job, I guess it's fair to say that I'm a harsh judge of excellent service, but the other reality is that I am a very happy, positive person 99% of the time, and I go in to any interaction with a smile and positive attitude, and the hope that it will be a good experience for both/all of us. I definitely do not try to be a jerk to anyone! I used to work customer service myself (most people have at some point).

So I thought I would create a blog where I can RANT and RAVE about the good the bad and the ugly customer service here in Toronto. Heck, there may even be stories in there from outside of this city. It could be on the topic of public transit, restaurants, utilities, camera shops etc. No topic is off-limits or too personal.

I can promise you that even though I will use this blog to vent a bit and let people/companies know when they have acted poorly, I will also praise the hard work of others, to make this blog balanced and fair. My goal is to be entertaining as well as informative. I think you will agree that my posts are quite down-to-earth, personable and I hope insightful.

I welcome your comments and stories, but please keep them polite and professional, so I can allow them to be posted.

http://tcs-torontocustomerservice.blogspot.com/

Thank you!

Yours in pursuit of customer satisfaction,

Coach Ric