The Fight Of My Life: Living with Traumatic Brain Injury

Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope By Mark Kelly

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:50:00 +0000

I used to always say, "When God has a message for you, He's going to make sure you're there to hear it!" My faith has wavered, and at times, I feel my spirituality or spiritual self was left on the freeway following the last accident.

While I may lack a sense of 'feeling' spiritual, I do most certainly still believe in following signs, noting coincidences, etc. I share this article as it was one of those things I feel I was more 'led' to than went seeking after. It is intuitive, insightful and eloquent...and, I hope a deep validation and encouragement too.

http://www.mariashriver.com/blog/2012/01/gabby-story-courage-and-hope

Returning to Blogging

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 15:12:00 +0000

Hi everyone,

I'm back in the highchair again! It's been a long time since I posted regularly and that was due to a pending lawsuit which included taking down a lot of this blog. Isn't that a hoot, I'm the one who is injured forced to live in exile with every move online being watched by the at-fault party's insurance.

After a long journey of trying to prove my case, keeping the attorney on retainer (a luxury I could no longer afford), I dropped the case. He said he was having difficulty proving my case which would serve to only dishearten me.

So, here I am, a little more physically and mentally challenged due to one person's negligence. It is tough news to bear, but you know I've been here before and us limited brain energy folks have to pick our battles wisely.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of the rehab, help, and support Gabby Giffords and Bob Woodruff received (and the piercing fact they got to keep their jobs, homes, friends, etc.) The bitter reality is that type of care or outcome isn't available to the rest of us. The sweet reality is they did get help, they wanted to get better and worked their tail feathers off...that, my friends, is a beautiful thing and I'm grateful.

Best to you all this holiday season and Happy New Year! :)

Never Leave Home Without It

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 02:07:00 +0000

This phrase popped into my mind recently as I feel I live in two different worlds. The world I live in now is mostly shut-in, quiet, limiting stimuli, the other world is where 'normies' (people without TBI live). There's nothing wrong with either world, it's just they don't mesh very well and this particularly different world takes a lot of understanding and open-mindedness to accept without blame or negativity. It's not easy on anyone.

We went to a friend's for an afternoon Christmas Eve gathering and I thought of all I had to do to simply be able to go. It's staggering to compare to how easy things used to be for me. I will, as a rule, in order to be able to be more social and hopefully not embarrass myself in front of others, have some protein and "tank up on caffeine" prior to going.

Truth is, I can never leave home without my Brain Injury although I work very, very hard to be able to participate and fit in. I guess I feel the strong need to work hard to fit in because most folks aren't flexible enough to try to fit into my world.

Yesterday's event was with alcohol and I have to admit, growing up with friends and I going to parties, I never felt comfortable around people who drink. Yes, I was the designated driver then! For me, it's the issue of never knowing when they stop being themselves and become someone else. I guess to think about it though, for me to be willing to go into the discomfort and unknown of an alcohol-present event is easier than folks being willing to go into the discomfort and unknown of a Brain Injury. Truth is, we Brain Injured folks scare people and the raw truth we live can be depressing to a population of people who live in denial of reality (I know, I was once a normie!)

At any rate, we go for whatever reason that compels us. Almost unconsciously I will ask Richard questions to get a feel for how the event will be, how many people will be there, etc. It's a laundry list out of necessity and a TBI-induced social anxiety. I wish it weren't so, but I live in constant survival mode. There is no leaving home without it...oh how I wish there were!

I am fully aware that by going I may not be able to get out of bed the next day. In time, I'm sure I'll have more wisdom to decide whether to even go. It's tough, I want to be social...but, am I compromising my needs and standards because I feel obligated? I've lived with TBI long enough to know, however, if one continues to say no to invitations it does not take long for the inviter to stop asking this invitee.

The holidays are a strange time filled with unrealistic expectations, stress, anxiety, and fear...none of it is real or healthy, especially for us TBIers.

Frogs!

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 14:01:00 +0000

I just had to share this hilarious moment that happened while shopping at Target yesterday. We were looking at items in their refrigerated section when Richard's phone rang. About that time two little boys turned the corner of the aisle perpendicular to us, were heading the opposite direction as we were, just a step or two away from where we had just been. It was perfect. Why? Richard's ringtone is frogs! He had just downloaded it from Verizon and the look on those two boy's faces was priceless.

Frogs? Well yes, some time ago at Costco we were sitting at the food court near the tire center when we started hearing frogs. A person then pulled out a cell phone and answered it, we were the ones with the funny look on our faces! Hilarious!

The Knots Prayer

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 18:53:00 +0000

As I wait for 'better' days, I thought I'd share a graphic a friend emailed.

If you know who the artist is who created this, kindly please let me know. I respect his/her work, he/she deserves proper credit, and I would like to request permission to post.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Quote

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 15:32:00 +0000

"The purpose of life is not to be happy.
It is to be useful,
to be honorable,
to be compassionate,
to have it make some difference that you have lived
and lived well."

~~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Received this in a Thought for Today email. I dedicate this to all TBIers who strive (or have strived to) to live well and make a difference.

How could anyone - Shaina Noll (songwriter: Libby Roderick)

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Wed, 20 May 2009 16:46:00 +0000

A song of encouragement worth sharing!

If the embedded video does not work, here is the direct link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zsk789e0ZM

The Handicap is Mine

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:19:00 +0000

If I look upon your twisted hands
the braces on your feet,

If I hear the funny sounds you make
when you try to speak,

If I watch you as you try to walk
with wobbly, wearing gait

And see others turn away,
for you they cannot wait.

If I look upon your outer shell
and imperfections there I find,

And turn and go upon my way,
The handicap is mine.

If I do not see beyond the shell
nor look into your eyes

to see the flame living there,
bright and strong, alive,

if I do not see the person who dwells,
Who thinks and dreams and feels

and hopes and in whose heart love swells
An inner person much like me

if this I do not find
But turn and go upon my way

The handicap is mine

- Author Unknown

Butterfly Courage - beautiful Chicken Soup for the Soul Story

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 20:54:00 +0000

BUTTERFLY COURAGE
by David L. Kuzminski

Walking down a path through some woods in Georgia in 1977, I saw a water puddle ahead on the path. I angled my direction to go around it on the part of the path that wasn't covered by water and mud.

As I reached the puddle, I was suddenly attacked! Yet, I did nothing, for the attack was so unpredictable and from a source so totally unexpected. I was startled as well as unhurt, despite having been struck four or five times already. I backed up a foot and my attacker stopped attacking me. Instead of attacking more, he hovered in the air on graceful butterfly wings in front of me.

Had I been hurt I wouldn't have found it amusing, but I was unhurt, it was funny, and I was laughing. After all, I was being attacked by a butterfly!

Having stopped laughing, I took a step forward. My attacker rushed me again. He rammed me in the chest with his head and body, striking me over and over again with all his might, still to no avail.

For a second time, I retreated a step while my attacker relented in his attack. Yet again, I tried moving forward. My attacker charged me again. I was rammed in the chest over and over again. I wasn't sure what to do, other than to retreat a third time. After all, it's just not everyday that one is attacked by a butterfly. This time, though, I stepped back several paces to look the situation over. My attacker moved back as well to land on the ground. That's when I discovered why my attacker was charging me only moments earlier.

He had a mate and she was dying. She was beside the puddle where he landed. Sitting close beside her, he opened and closed his wings as if to fan her. I could only admire the love and courage of that butterfly in his concern for his mate. He had taken it upon himself to attack me for his mate's sake, even though she was clearly dying and I was so large. He did so just to give her those extra few precious moments of life, should I have been careless enough to step on her.

Now I knew why and what he was fighting for. There was really only one option left for me. I carefully made my way around the puddle to the other side of the path, though it was only inches wide and extremely muddy. His courage in attacking something thousands of times larger and heavier than himself just for his mate's safety justified it. I couldn't do anything other than reward him by walking on the more difficult side of the puddle. He had truly earned those moments to be with her, undisturbed.

I left them in peace for those last few moments, cleaning the mud from my boots when I later reached my car. Since then, I've always tried to remember the courage of that butterfly whenever I see huge obstacles facing me. I use courage as an inspiration and to remind myself that good things are worth fighting for.

Thank You for Believing Me Well - Chicken Soup for the Soul

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 18:47:00 +0000

As a young social worker in a New York City psychiatric clinic, I was asked to see Roz, a 20-year-old woman who had been referred to us from another psychiatric facility. It was an unusual referral in that no information was received ahead of her first appointment. I was told to "play it by ear." and to figure out what her problems were and what she needed.

Without a diagnosis to go on, I saw Roz as an unhappy, misunderstood young woman who hadn't been listened to in her earlier therapy. Her family situation was unpleasant. I didn't see her as disturbed, but rather as lonely and misunderstood. She responded so positively to being heard. I worked with her to start a life worth living - to find a job, a satisfying place to live and new relationships. We hit it off well, and she started making important changes in her life right away.

The records from the previous psychiatric facility arrived a month after Roz and I began our successful work together. To my complete surprise, her records were several inches thick, describing a number of psychiatric hospitalizations. Her diagnosis was "paranoid schizophrenic," with a comment on her being "hopeless."

That had not been my experience with Roz at all. I decided to forget those pieces of paper. I never treated her as if she had that "hopeless" diagnosis. (It was a lesson for me in questioning the value and certainty of diagnoses.) I did find out about the horrors for Roz of those hospitalizations, of being drugged, isolated and abused. I also learned a lot from her about surviving such traumatic circumstances.

First Roz found a job, then a place to live away from her difficult family. After several months of working together, she introduced me to her husband-to-be, a successful businessman who adored her.

When we completed our therapy, Roz gave me the gift of a silver bookmark and a note that said, "Thank you for believing me well."

I have carried that note with me and I will for the rest of my life, to remind me of the stand I take for people, thanks to one brave woman's triumph over a "hopeless" diagnosis.

Judy Tatelbaum
Chicken Soup for the Soul at Work
©1996 Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Maida Rogerson, Martin Rutte, Tim Clauss

This Made My Day!!!

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:03:00 +0000

Bob Woodruff's Excellent Video "To Iraq and Back" on Traumatic Brain Injury

noreply@blogger.com (ResilientHeart) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 23:52:00 +0000

This riveting report by Bob Woodruff, who sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury reporting in Iraq, was sent to me on DVD by a dear, fellow TBIer. I recently found the video online at ABC News and am glad to be able to share. It is a compelling and honest look at Bob Woodruff's Traumatic Brain Injury and fight to recover:

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=5557859

The second part Bob gives voice to the lives of our beloved soldiers returning from Iraq with TBI. It is a call to awareness, action, and compassion.

We must continue to support our troops as they return from war and in their ongoing battle living with Traumatic Brain Injury. Those who died did not die in vain, we must assure those who live with TBI do not live in vain.

I invite you to visit Bob Woodruff's Family Foundation and support our brave men and women returning from Iraq:
http://remind.org/

Blessings.