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Syonara

2012-01-13T05:56:00.000-08:00

Salaam to who ever is reading this. We have changed our URL from the egotistical www.sarmedakhter.blogspot.com, to one that shows that the post are co authored and more than one person is involved. Our new URL is www.yunothink.blogspot.com (which I'm surprised was available).

A message to all who have been faithful subscribers, (I'm not expecting a lot in this section.), I sincerely thank you. I also request that you join our new blog www.yunothink.blogspot.com,

To those who were a victim of my aggressive (annoying) marketing strategy, where I more or less spam random facebook pages, I hope to see you again.

Facebook: This is what it really is

2011-12-25T10:24:00.000-08:00

Facebook was created by Superman. After accidentally landing on earth and being humiliated by having to wear ridiculously tight undergarments and being mistaken for a bird or plane “I even wore a bright red cape so these stupid humans can distinguish”, Superman swore revenge. Initially he planned to destroy earth but the United States government found out that he’s an illegal immigrant, and so had him deported back to Krypton. Once at Krypton he decided to take his revenge at the semi intelligent species of humans. He launched a plan that he would find a means to study the humans and then ultimately annihilate them. He sent one of the filing clerks from his office at krypton, to earth. He decided to send Mark Zuckerberg to Harvard figuring that this is the place where the most intelligent of humans are present.

Mark‘s job was to create a platform in which these young and brilliant minds would pool their thoughts actions and way of thinking. Thus Facebook was created. That way extensive Data would be gathered about human and then 1 fool proof way would be carried out in which humans will eventually cause their own downfall. Many conceptual plans were thought of and carried out in small scale. Global Warming, Nuclear experiments, George W. Bush, Tsunami, lady Gaga, and Justin Bieber are just names of some of these plans. Soon it appeared that humans are so stupid and dumb that they would enjoy such things. Superman then decided that he needs to study the data more carefully. Mark Zuckerberg got a promotion his new job description was pressing the refresh button and report the number of users.

read the rest at http://www.yunothink.blogspot.com/2011/12/facebook-this-is-what-it-really-is.html

Twilight This is what it really is

2011-12-03T06:25:00.000-08:00

Written by Me and Syed Abdul Mujeeb (his Blog)

Twilight is a rare case study of interaction between a psychotic teenager and a pedophilic predator. It gave psychiatrists all over the world a chance to study behavior in humans who suffer from such illnesses

The teenage subject in the study has been named “Bella”. Typical of evidence from previous studies, Bella is a girl with low self esteem.

The pedophilic predator has been named “Edward.” Being a pedophile is quite old, and his skin no longer glows from young blood.

The case study shows us how these two subjects meet and then how there different mental illness clash with each other. How the psychosis of Bella combined with the urges of Edward result in a bizarre series of events, both of which are seen differently by each subject.

read the rest http://www.yunothink.blogspot.com/2011/12/twilight-this-is-what-it-really-is.html

I don't want to live on this planet anymore

2011-11-23T06:36:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought that the world could not get any weirder, I came to hear about a certain bill that the Congress of America is in the process of implementing. Recently Obama has been advocating that it is imperative that we combat obesity and the best way to that is by reforming the school lunch program. He argued that potatoes and other fattening foods should be reduced and more healthy nutrients be included. Well the Congress did just that. Instead of changing the menu they simply redefined it. Among the many things the most absurd is “the tomato sauce on a pizza is sufficient vegetable consumption for students.” They have effectively classified pizza as a vegetable.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/16/us/politics/congress-blocks-new-rules-on-school-lunches.html

http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/united-states/pizza-reclaims-vegetable-status-in-congressional-revision-146039.html

Now I have had pizza many times, I love it. But not once has it ever crossed my mind that it can ever in any way whatsoever be classified as a vegetable.

In the above picture just tell me how can a legal government document which is supposed to fight childhood obesity ever consider that a pizza can actually be supplemented as a vegetable? Okay it has tomatoes in it. Also it has olives, onions, and everything, but with the amount of cheese, and sugar that it contains it can’t help anyone combat obesity.

read the rest at http://www.yunothink.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-don-want-to-live-on-this-planet.html

Actuary

2011-11-22T06:38:00.000-08:00

This is an article i wrote for the Pakistan Society of Actuaries.

It may seem like the name of an unknown heavy metal band, however it’s something quite different. Actuaries are a very elite group of professionals who use mathematics and statistics and apply them in business.

There are a lot of students with exceptional mathematical skills who are not interested in the conventional fields such as engineering. These people usually end up doing Chartered Accountancy or Masters in Finance. Though credible options these do not always suit them. Actuarial science on the other hand is one field that they might find challenging and satisfying.

With a core of mathematics and statistics, actuaries use mathematical and economical theories to solve complicated business problems. Traditionally actuaries are employed by life insurance companies in which they analyze data and use models to determine premium rates and profit margins. Contrary to common perception they are not involved in selling policies or handling claims. One can say that they create policies by carefully modeling data to ensure profits to both parties. The work of an actuary is not limited to the insurance sector alone. Being experts in enterprise risk management and specialists in finance and investment, combined with a strong foundation in financial mathematics, actuaries can shine in any sector ranging from business consultants to banking to financial advisors, to name a few.

How to become an actuary?

It kind of follows the same pattern as CA or ACCA. One can enter this field right after A-levels or after graduation. There are two renowned boards the first is the British board known commonly as the Institute of Actuaries (http://www.actuaries.org.uk). The other is the U.S.A board called Society of Actuaries(http://www.soa.org/). Both are globally recognized. Each has a set of exams that one must pass or obtain exemptions for in order to qualify as an actuary. Exemptions for the Institute of Actuaries exams can be obtained if a candidate has a degree from a recongnized institute.. The overall syllabus is basically the same, the only difference is the number of papers and the format. Visit their respective websites for information.

The whole course can be broken down into two broad subheadings: For the Intitute these are Core and Specialization, for SoA these are Associateship and Fellowship . Subjects in Core/ Associateship include: financial maths, statistics, probability, economics and communication skills. Fields for Specialization/Fellowship include: general insurance, life insurance, finance and investments, enterprise risk management, pension, and health and care.

Actuary was rated as the #1 job in America last year, considering salary, stress, advancement prospects and job satisfaction.

Lets look at the local scene. Here KU and CBM have courses in actuarial sciences but these don’t provide any exemptions. Many life insurance companies and actuarial firms employ students after A levels as ‘actuarial trainees’. They give you a salary, training, study material and hep students in any way with their exams. State life, NJI life, EFU life, Akhter and Hasan, Sidat Hyder and Morshed associates are companies and firms that have these trainee programs. You can contact their HR departments for more details.

Actuary is a rare profession even more so in Pakistan. Here the total number of fully qualified Actuaries is under 20! Anyone can join the field but before taking a decision do your own researches on it even meet people if you get a chance. Be absolutely sure about it before taking an initiative. The exams are tough and trainee programs are demanding so you don’t just have to be brilliant but also hardworking. Also if you’re applying straight after you’re A-levels you will probably be missing out on university life so make sure you have thought about it seriously.

Fashionable Politics

2011-11-19T09:25:00.000-08:00

Well it seems as if the educated youth of Pakistan have finally decided to take matters in their own hands. The recent demonstration in Lahore showed just how desperate we are for change. While this may seem that ignorance is slowly being eradicated, the reality may be slightly different. Are the winds of change blowing or is it that people have just realized that political affiliation can be used as a fashion statement.

Let me just ask the readers few questions: Do you support Imran Khan and think that he would make a good leader?

Do you know what Imran khan’s Position on Iran?

Do you know how Imran khan proposes to solve the water crisis?

While many of the readers might have given a very enthusiastic yes to the first question, I’m ready to bet that the other two questions would have been met with vague suggestions or no answer at all.

This sort of rallying behind a political leader is very common in all parts of the world. Most people are simply “Politically Charmed” by candidates, which is very effective as most people don’t really follow news or are aware of the issues which is quite sad as these people form a majority and more than often make a person or party win. I will take the most famous example in history which is of Che Guevara. He has become a worldwide symbol of rebellion but very few people know that he was a doctor and supported Marxism (which the world now completely denounces). Another good example is the election of Barack Obama, did anyone know he would cut the health budget?

So is Imran Khan the Che Guevara of Pakistan? Let us examine why most people like him. Or why he’s appealing to the youth. Firstly he is very good with words. His arguments are short crisp and mostly make sense. Compare this with other politicians who talk about fruits or say “degree tou degree hoti hai chahe jaali ho ya asli’.

Secondly his personality is very refined. He looks and behaves like an educated person as opposed to politicians who scratch themselves on TV shows, fight in the assembly hall, or sing and dance when giving a speech on TV.

Also, and this is probably what appeals most to people, he is a rebel. He is a renegade on the loose. And this is what we love about him. It doesn’t care what hes saying or how feasible it is or how did he logically come to that conclusion. What matters is that he’s disagreeing with the government.

So to conclude I would just like to say that while it’s good that people are realizing their potential power to bring change. Its good to see that the urban youth is finally becoming active, it should not be done blindly, no matter if its Imran Khan, Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King. Always be aware and informed.

White Race

2011-11-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

Recently I was just watching TV when I stumbled across the most bizarre string of advertisement that made me realize just how completely retarded we are as a society and how companies find it very easy to exploit that. Just to clarify here I’m not talking about only Pakistan over here but my focus would be the subcontinent in general.

The string of ads that I saw were all relating to beauty products particularly skin whitening products. Now every one knows that the girls over here are totally obsessed with skin whitening (while the whites are obsessed with tanning). However recently this obsession is starting to become ludicrous to the point of becoming pathetic.

The first ad that I saw was of a cream that would give you a fairer glow in just two weeks. It depicted a pretty girl and how in just two weeks she turned in a character from “the house of wax”(and we all know how crappy that movie was). Interestingly most of these creams contain Hydroquinone or Mercury which can result in premature aging. Well the human canvas now has anti aging for that

Next I saw an ad in which the girl in question wanted fast results. So the manufactures decided to add more bleach and behold ‘get fairer skin in just seven days’. And surely the girl was now casper and the cream indirectly gave her a nose job as well.

Well there is another product that says that you can get fairer skin instantly which last for 12 hours. Well so does the white polish I used to apply on my tennis shoes in school.

Now that we have thoroughly mutilated the human face why not do it to the rest of the body! What a wonderful idea. Just take a bottle of body whitening lotion (which looks like the accumulated spit of 12 people) and cover yourself with it then wear a full sleeves shirt and burqa and you’re good to go. The consumers fail to notice that the lady in the ad is wearing a sleeveless and back less dress which causes her skin to darken due to exposure to sunlight. Yeah I fail to see how that caught on especially when we hardly venture in direct sunlight when the sun is that bright.

Now this is the part that makes me the saddest. Fairness for men. I mean c’mon man it sounds like an oxymoron. I mean have we men completely lost all testosterone. John Abraham didn’t get that look by putting cream on; he got it by lifting weights. Next thing you know we have “body whitening lotion for men” and then “silk boxers” with a slogan “unleash the woman in you.” Call me a sexist. But this is one sexist who will not meet his wife in a beauty parlor. ‘Yeah she was sitting there having her nails done and I had just gotten my face massaged with apricot cream, and then our eyes met.’

Well top of the list is something which people don’t give a hoot about but you have to make it white. Why? Because now you can with ‘deodorant for fairer underarms’ seriously? I think I speak for all guys here when I say that’s probably the last place someone will look for beauty. And honestly it looks like how your whole face would be when you are 40.

In other news some paint manufactures have expressed their desire to enter new markets the cosmetic industry for example.

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The Void

2011-11-19T09:08:00.000-08:00

The void

We think. This explosion of knowledge is a result of our habit of thinking. It is the power of our thought that has brought us from the dingy caves of the dark ages to the urban jungle of now. How powerful is thought? What is the magnitude of this irrational element in our being? These are unanswered questions. Scientists define thought as a reaction, a reaction to various stimuli. But science also defines reaction as a force. Thus if we look at thought as a force it seems much more logical. To bring bout change in anything we need force.

However this brings us back to our original question: what is the magnitude of this force. How much force was needed to invent the telephone? To bring about the French revolution? To create an economic system? We can not know, we never will.

Its ironic how the one thing that differentiates and makes us superior from other beings is the one thing that we least understand. The one thing that has brought about all the change in the world has eluded us through time.

Mathematicians have tried reducing thought to algebraic equations. The pioneer of which was George Boole who wrote ‘The Laws of Thought’(1854) which is the bases of all computer technology in our modern world. Boolean algebra created a system in which thought are grouped according to some common feature e.g. men. Women, red, pen. He then went one to define the operations of multiplication and addition and zero. This created a hypothesis which experienced some success. simple thoughts and decisions could be made by doing the algebra that Boole proposed (computer intelligence is based on this algebra). However the complexity of the human mind soon proved to be too much.

Philosophers define thought in the same vague statements that just further entangle the mystery of it. The pointless theories they have never brought us nearer to understanding thought. The power of thought can never be known. It is an unknown that we may never realize. Some philosophers take a religious point of on this. Most religions define God as indefinable. Let us examine thought in the same way. God cannot be felt by any of the senses of sight, smell, sound, touch, or taste. God can not be personified or shaped to anything that the human mind can understand or perceive yet the existence of God is absolute. God does not occupy space or time. Thought can not be felt by any of the senses and it can not be perceived and does not occupy space or time. Yet if humans are the only one to have the power of thought then how did the world exist before them? Is thought something that isn’t created within us but is ever present around us? If we think of thought as something that is ever present and around us, then it can be said that thought is God? But even then we are no nearer to understanding it.

What can thought do? When does it act? There are two answers to this. 1^st we shall define thought as a reaction, a force that is built within us. If this definition is to be considered then thought can only be effective in the present. The present is ever changing from one moment to the other leaving behind an unchangeable past and ahead an unknown future. Thus the power of thought is effective only in the ever changing present. 2^nd definition implies that thought like God is ever present and all around us yet unrealized. If this definition is taken into account then the power of thought can act at anytime past future or present. This can be justified from the fact that a single thought can bring about change in the unknown future.

The mystery of thought, its dimensions, powers, and effectiveness is yet to be discovered. We progress through it, are dependant on in, it is responsible for everything around us yet we do not know what it is

Sarmed

The art of mufta

2010-11-07T10:02:00.000-08:00

The Art of Mufta

This being the first issue I decided that I would start with something light and comic. A levels is the training ground for the many skills you would need as a professional: persuasiveness, communications skills, diplomacy and the talent of making people agree to what you are saying. A levels is brutal, at least in the outside world your mugged or looted by people who don’t know you or don’t care about you. But in A levels the very people you attend classes with you. With the blink of an eye these very people turn against you. No I’m not talking about the silly quarrels that girls have. I’m referring to the manly sport that requires skill, will, determination and complete annihilation of the conscience: MUFTA. Let us explore this new and emerging art

It is amazing how some people are able to talk the other person into giving them a treat. Forget all these public speaking competitions. As with everything else the best come from the streets. Some people are so good at it that sometimes I feel there negotiating skills might bring about an agreement between Palestine and Israel. Its almost like a well balanced recipe: some friendliness a pinch of persuasiveness and a dash of innocence and viola perfecto! Apart from that they are like stalkers: invisible but ever present. They can sense the presence of money instantly. The clever ones work alone because they like me have realized that is what gets you the most benefits and in this regard the the one line that always work is ‘yaar daikh mujhai khila do warna subko bula dnga’. This always has an impact as the mere thought of being surrounded by mufta’s is enough for any one to reconsider their stance.. Sometimes however the more the merrier holds true

Teamwork comes into handy quite often in situations where the prey is quick to mobilize. Operation “resource extraction’ is initiated with immediate effect. First a perimeter is secured to block all escape routes. Then the net tightens, all units tensed looking for the slightest movement. The air becomes still the heartbeats can be heard, the whisper of breathing. The pack jeers and passes intimidating comments ‘paisay nai milay tou tension nai saalay ka mobile baich dengay’. Okay that was a little too filmy =p. point being there is no escape from that situation.

Here I shall stop for if a told you all the secrets I would lose my market share=p. remember with practice comes perfection

The writer is a Fellow of the Society of Mufta, and is one of the top nominations for the mufta of the year award at the annual pats awards 2010