thoughts of the day

waiting

2010-06-12T14:24:00.001+03:00

I am not good with waiting. At all. Never been. I don't wanna become used to it! And still I am waiting. I am waiting for my visa and I can't stop dreaming about my holiday. I feel guilty thinking about it, as it depends entirely on my visa - the one I don't have yet. I hope next week I will receive the good news. Actually, next week I have to receive the good news. I am afraid to dream too much because I don't wanna jinx it!
However, every day I stared at my phone from 10am to 14pm hoping that the embassy would call. It didn't. But I have the feeling that the lucky phone call will come early next week.
I wanna have my exotic trip into the unknown, I wanna discover a new culture and a new life style. I am very excited about all this. I am exited about mangoes and lychee (and all the exotic fruits), about big turtles, new clothes style, the sun...just about everything!
But most of all I am excited about spending 2 weeks with my special someone! Can't stop dreaming!
Coming up soon with news. And hopefully it will be good news!

above all...love

2010-04-18T14:18:00.000+03:00

The simplest word, the greatest feeling, the reason of our existence in this complicated world...

There's nothing else that compares to this feeling which lies within the simplest smile, the cutest laugh, the glimpse of that special someone or the voice that has the power to heal everything.
We run, we fight, we follow vain dreams till one day when we wish time could stand still just so we could get one more minute with the person we love.
After all, love is the most important Biblical command. We punish stealing, adultery, murder but never the lack of love. It's weird how keeping the last command would prevent us from trespassing all the others. And yet we forget about it or we see it as a sign of weakness.
Today I can't forget about it because your love makes me a better person. You see the good in me even when all I see is darkness.
Today, I wish time would stand still for eternity just so that I could live in your smile forever.

Mai frumoasa

2010-04-18T13:57:00.001+03:00

A song that needs no introduction - the lyrics speak for themselves: I wanna live in your world full of love, I wanna wake up smiling every day :)

sunshine

2010-03-21T09:19:00.003+02:00

I have been waiting for this moment since forever and finally it's here: sun is shinning, birds are singing, people are smiling! It's like the whole world has just woke up from an unpleasantly long sleep.
It's incredible what spring does to me, but I feel like I am getting back the control of my time, like I no longer have to be on the run, like I can stop for just two seconds, look up and smile knowing that my smile will reach other million smiles in the sky and build a beautiful rainbow of hope.
I somehow know that everything will be ok, even if I can't define that everything.
Looking forward to an incredible rebirth of the nature, to my present, to our future.

Positive thinking (and acting)

2010-03-06T13:57:00.000+02:00

After a hectic beginning of 2010 I have finally decided to do something for myself. So yesterday I didn't go to work. I woke up late with a big smile on my face that was saying "at this time I should have entered my office, but in stead I am merely opening my eyes". I enjoyed my coffee and decided not to feel bad about the fact that the sun was missing in action and it was snowing again.
For the first time in ages I felt like I was the master of time. No reason to hurry, no reason to miss a smile, no reason to feel that life is somewhere else. I was alive!
I treated myself good with a 2 hours appointment at a nice SPA, I enjoyed reading bad magazines, I loved talking to friends and not complain that I am too tired. It was such a great day!
And what other perfect way to end a perfect day if not with the person you care for the most?
Thank God for small favors!

when the going gets tough...

2010-02-16T20:55:00.000+02:00

I tend to run away and never look back. I have an incredible self defense mechanism that prevents me from accepting that I have lost, or gave up. I am the world champion at coming up with excuses for giving up on what I once called dreams. I can prove I never wanted anything like that, that that dream was not mine, that I am better off without achieving it. BUT... this attitude never gets me anywhere. This attitude is only keeping me in the same place while time passes by.

It's this attitude that I am trying my best to ignore at this moment when I feel like all I wanna do is go somewhere...to no worries' land...and just enjoy the silence of an untroubled mind.

However, I have things to do, presentations to prepare, fears to overcome, frustrations to forget, visa procedures to start, stereotypes to break down.

So let the show begin! I've put my self defense mechanism on hold and I am taking things as they come!

It's no fun being a responsible adult, I'm telling you!

one of my latest musical obsessions

2010-02-14T15:10:00.004+02:00

the perfect book

2010-02-13T12:24:00.003+02:00

For me, there are three types of books: the bad ones (I can just as well not finish them), the good ones (well written, interesting theme) and the perfect ones.

In every book I look for the perfect book. The book that captivates me so much that I can skip sleeping and miss my buss stop if I read on my way to work.

Last time I found a perfect book (and what a book it is!) I had to take a day off from work because I just didn't wanna stop reading.

The feeling that I get while reading such an art piece is unbelievable. I feel like I am part of a greater universe than I can imagine, that the whole world is just filled with hidden wonders that are waiting for me to find them. My mind starts to wonder and suddenly I feel like I am there, in the book, as a witness to the action, as if the author had actually written that book for me.

The first perfect book I remember reading was Heidi (by Johanna Spyr). I must have been around eight years old when I found the book in my family's library and read the story of the little orphan girl without leaving the book out of my hands. I remember living that story as if I was part of it and I cried for little Heidi as if she was my best friend.

Over the years, although I grew up, I never stopped living the perfect book while reading it. I still cry, laugh, giggle with enthusiasm and most of all dream with the characters.

life on the run...runs out

2010-02-10T21:32:00.001+02:00

We live in a world where things change so fast that we need to be on a constant run in order to keep up with everything.

I don't know if somehow the hours got shorter, the days no longer have the classical 24 hours as we were taught in school... I can't say what happened to time, but I have the feeling that it is shrinking like an old man.

Today, as I was coming home from work, I realized I was content that another day has passed, but I was sad to acknowledge the fact that I could not say one single thing that "made my day".

Sometimes I like to sit back at the end of the day and see what are the high and the low points of those hours that passed since I got out of bed (with one hand on the coffee mug). And today it was all empty. No high (though I remember laughing today), no low. Just many hours that passed by as I was on the run, never thinking about the present moment, but of what I still have to get done. I lived my day as if it was not mine, as if I could wake up tomorrow and start Wednesday all over again.

I want my high of the day and I want it everyday. Is it so wrong?

Why am I (are we) always on the run? And on the run for what?

my favorite kind of winter

2010-02-08T20:36:00.001+02:00

I love summer! The touch of the sun on my face, the great feeling I get when I wake up and see the early morning sun, the birds, the nature, the long days...sea side, sun baths ... what is not to love?

When winter comes, I function on autopilot. Reality strikes when my nose it's running and I can't sleep because of coughing.

But there is another side of winter I completely forgot about until today. After two days of heavy snowing everything was white. So white that the traffic was paralyzed. It was quiet, the temperature was around the generous -3C, no wind, no traffic noise, just an immense sea of white puffy snow leaving me under the impression I was walking on clouds.

I remembered the days when I didn't hate winter nor loved summer, the days when I could just enjoy every day as it was...any day... the days when the sky was only blue and when I could hear birds singing everywhere...the days when I couldn't multiply two by two, but nor did I cared.

2010-02-07T18:36:00.001+02:00

Valea Draganului

Must see

2010-02-07T16:04:00.004+02:00

Like any other movie lover, I have my own list of must sees. Last November, one film stood out from the crowd and made me declare my undying love for the seventh art. That film is Radu Mihaileanu's latest masterpiece called "Le Concert".

The film is a complete art work starting from the topic (a renowned conductor of the Bolshoi orchestra overcomes the impossible in order to make his dream come true after long years of suffering) and going forward to the actors, the incredible directing and the flawless script.

"Le Concert" took me from the theater hall and carried me on the wings of music, making me a part of the film. I have never experienced such a wide range of emotions in just one movie: I have laughed, cried, waited for the next scene holding my breath and I have been proved wrong when I declared that I can easily predict next scenes.

For me, "Le Concert" was THAT movie! The movie I told everyone I knew about, the movie that I recommended to everyone, the movie that made me say to everybody "That's why I love films!".

learn, forget and re-learn

2010-02-07T15:24:00.003+02:00

I am no technical guru, but I am no computer / internet illiterate either. I created this blog like an year ago, I forgot about it...managed to find it today and have my first post :)

My 1st year university statistics / computer teacher (Mr. Pah) would be saying a prayer right now! He never gave me a chance with computers :))

Oh well, I do like to prove that I am more than a smiling face