Dirty & Nerdy

Spank Bank Sunday #7

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 21:23:00 +0000

Quick one today. Vanessa Blue is a ridiculously hot porn star.

Premature Evaluations: "Most Buxom" by Aishling Morgan

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 02:00:00 +0000

Aishling Morgan brings us the story of a Peeping Tom who gets in trouble at work for peeping at a woman across the street, so he quits and buys a house in a university town where he hopes to board nerdly male students and keep his mind off of women. Guess what? He soon finds himself boarding four big breasted women who drive him crazy with sexual frustration.

The story here is fairly god, but it is predominantly hot. We have a former stripper, and budding dominatrix, a rich-bitch lesbian, and a submissive virgin. The landlord eventually installs miniature surveillance cameras to see the women at play, and winds up beating his meat into hamburger. About halfway through, we get to the all girl party that is destined to become a lez-fest of legend.

I do enjoy Morgan's books. This is only the second I have read, and while different in tone from Sin's Apprentice it is fairly clear that it is the same author. I will likely give Satan's Slut a try next, which looks like a filthy Dennis Wheatley/Hammer Horror tale.

Spank Bank Sunday #6

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 16:00:00 +0000

Dani O'Neal is a British porn star that I first saw on that weird Spike or G4 show about sexy shows around the world. The only video I have seen is a dildo only movie. She has this Posh Spice voice and a filthy mouth which I think we can all agree is the only thing sexier than the dirty librarian.

Spank Bank Sunday #5

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 16:00:00 +0000

Kimberly Kupps was one of the first porn stars I ever met. She was on a dancing tour and appeared at The Cellar (a now defunct strip club in Fayetteville). She was a ridiculously nice lady, despite her super-tough sneer she says everyone wants her to wear.

Kim got to be a little rough looking as the years went by, but she still has a lot of presence for me.

Kimberly with Busty Belle

Premature Evaluations: "Sin's Apprentice"

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:00:00 +0000

Sin's Apprentice by Aishling Morgan is the story of Ysette, an orphan raised by nuns during what might be considered the Renaissance. Due to her penchant for masturbation, she is deemed unfit to remain at the convent. The good sisters sell Ysette into an apprenticeship, where she becomes the thrall of Breda, an old herbalist who likes whipping the girl, then getting a bit of oral from her. Luckily, Ysette is familiar with the altar of Venus, being quite the little self-abuser.

The book is more story than I typically think of with erotica, but I am not far into it. The writing is fairly good, if the story an old one. It looks to be two parts Cinderella, one part Justine, with a dash of Anne Rice's Sleepy Beauty. The nunsploitation has dropped off a bit, but may yet return. Here is the book synopsis from Amazon:

Poor young Ysette is an orphan. Having been raised in a strict and cloistered nunnery, she is sent out to have her obliging nature taken advantage of again and again. First she is to learn the bizarre sexual byways of witchcraft. Then, traveling as a Sin Eater, she is tasked to remove the sin that men contain with her seed. Finally, she is taken by an elderly and perverted priest before finding her redemption. A novel of sex, superstition and religious punishment, inspired by the classics of SM literature.

Spank Bank Sunday #4

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 16:00:00 +0000

Tori Welles. I don't know much about her, except she is on the dangerous-sexy side and that apparently Christy Canyon did not like her very much when they first met. No idea if CC got over it.

Spank Bank Sunday #3

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 16:00:00 +0000

Ginger Lynn was, along with Christy Canyon, the queen of the 1980s. She was petite, and small breasted, but a wild woman who would seemingly do anything for the camera. She became heavily paired with similar looking and similarly named Amber Lynn, likely to get a little incest-kink vibe going. My biggest memory of Ginger was The World According to Ginger, which I believe was an all-girl, toy heavy affair that to my young and inexperienced mind was fascinating. One scene involving anal-beads, which are not really one of my favorite things, is permanently burned into my psyche, and when I think of Ms. Lynn, it always is the first vision in my mind.

Lynn attempted to move into straight films, appearing as a madame in Young Guns, as well as a few of the Vice Academy films (a dirty parody of Police Academy), but she eventually went back to the hard stuff. She was in The Devil's Rejects in 2005, and seemed to bounce between the hardcore and straight world with some fair regularity.

Spank Bank Sunday #2

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 16:00:00 +0000

Busty Belle won an amateur stripping contest, according to an interview in Hustler Busty Beauties (April 1990). She moved to hardcore where her bust made her a bit of a headliner. She transitioned into the interracial niche, and ultimately wound up in a lot of bisexual films.

I first saw her in Girls of Double D volume 8, and was hooked pretty much immediately.

Spank Bank Sunday #1

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 16:00:00 +0000

Friends, I have been ignoring you all too long. I blame Tumblr. Anyway, to get myself back in the swing of actual porn blogging, I thought we'd do a regular feature: Span Bank Sunday. This will include some of my favorite adult stars of all time, and we will start with a classic...

Andrea Parducci made a name for herself, and that name was Little Oral Annie. Obviously, her shtick was blowjobs, but she has a rockin' body all around. I have no idea what happened her after her run in the '80s. It seems she fell out of style once the likes of Giner Lynn, Traci Lords, Amber Lynn, and Christy Canyon came on the scene. Aside from movies, she was creditted as the advice columnist for Cheri magazine for a while, but there is no telling if she was really writing it.

Viva (Anna Biller, 2007)

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 00:52:00 +0000

I did a review of Anna Biller's Viva at Adventures in Nerdliness (here). This was probably my favorite scene :-D

No one seemed to think this was funny on Tumblr...

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 02:40:00 +0000

I spent nearly ten minutes on this :-(

Tweeting with Kelly Divine

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:07:00 +0000

If you're a Tweeter, you should check out Kelly Divine. She's very cool.

Check out KellyDivine.com too.

Kelly Divine - Great Ass Hardcore

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 21:26:00 +0000

There's always room for Jello :-D

She's on Twitter too @KellyDivine too.

A Classic

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 23:10:00 +0000

Ah, remember when porn stars were ultra-hairy? Linda Lovelace wasn't the prettiest pornstar, but skilled.

BACK to Work - Vegetarian Twitter Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 01:02:00 +0000

I was always a fan of Vida Guerra, but now she's in that special category with Pamela Anderson: ridiculously hot vegetarians. And the special place I keep Darla Crane and SaRenna Lee - Stars that respond to my Tweets :-)

I am cheesey, but happy.

BACK to Work

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 21:18:00 +0000

It has been a while, friends. I had a great weekend, hope you have too. Tomorrow and the rest of this week will likely suck ass, so BACK to Work is doubly apropos.

Next, the usual collection from Twitter. Since I broke my penetration-post-cherry I added #3, which is a great combination of hilarious and vile :-)

See you all later!

Another Sexy Tweeter

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 22:47:00 +0000

I could learn to speak Welsh if necessary.

The lovely and sweet Lorna Morgan is on Twitter too.

via Boobie Blog

Did you know the Undead Film Critic was back?

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 22:42:00 +0000

Well, he is.

Look Who I Found on Twitter!

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:02:00 +0000

Yet another reason I like Twitter.

I forget how I got there (Maggie Green, perhaps?) but located a long time favorite of mine, SaReena Lee! She gave me a follow-back, which was unexpected, and Tweeted back at me a few times (once again, take that, Kat Dennings! :-). Give her a follow, and be nice. Check out her site, Sweet Samples, too.

I really must do a Twitter Following post. There are a lot of fun people out there.

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:40:00 +0000

I don't post too much hardcore here, but was having no luck at Tumblr.

This is Dani O'Neal from a UK call in show Babe Station. See some more at my Sublime Depravity Tumblr.

The Swingin' Chicks of "Motor Psycho"

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:00:00 +0000

Arshalouis Aivazian as Frank's Wife; the bikini chick in the beginning.

Holle K. Winters as the veterinarian's wife "Gail Maddox"

Sharon Lee as the rich cougar "Jessica Fannin"

Haji in the female lead as "Ruby Bonner"

Here is the inexplicable "Snake Bite" scene.

@IMDb

It's growing! Getting larger!

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:56:00 +0000

My Russ Meyer collection, that is :-)

I just got a PAL DVD of "Motor Psycho" staring Haji (sans the "creamy Italian" accent, IIRC) and "Good Morning... and Goodbye!" with the insanely gorgeous Alaina Capri. Too late in the evening to watch either, but here are some caps from the first five of "GMaGB!"

But I thought the music was annoying?

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 02:07:00 +0000

Well, yes. It is a bit annoying.

You may not have figured this out, but I am not the most with-it guy around. I mean really, who says "with-it" anymore? OMG! I remember someone once saying Lady Gaga was really a man. After the Poker Face song, I thought it was possible.

I have seen some pretty fantastic trannys (trannies? tranni?), but I think Ms. Gaga lacks both the things that make famous tranny-dom possible; 1) ridiculous perfection 2) obvious maleness. She is far too high-end-of-the-normal female scale, so I am going to dismiss the rumour, and submit for your approval.

The music is still annoying. :-)

BACK to Work: Vanessa Kay

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 01:58:00 +0000

Okey, I felt bad about not including and glute action in this week's pre-hell (I mean work week) post.

You might remember Vanessa Kay from her stint as "Juggy Vanessa" on The Man Show. Remember The Man Show? It wasn't great, but it beat the hell out of both Spike TV and G4 these days. Ah, a show where the hosts and audience drank during the taping, and whoever came up with girls on trampolines deserves a Nobel Prize. I'm just sayin'.

BACK to Work: Tori Welles Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Darius Whiteplume) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:48:00 +0000

Ah, it was a trying week last week, a trying weekend, and will prove to be a trying five days to come. Best to get things off to a good start with a little more Tori Welles action.

I don't know much about Ms. Welles, except that Christy Canyon didn't have much good to say about her in Lights, Camera, Sex!, but I must admit she takes a damn good picture.