STRAIGHT UP - NO CHASER

Moving.....

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 10:54:14 PST

This slays me every time.
Maybe because it's too close to me, my life at that age.
Beautiful though. Brilliant.

Wrap Up of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 06:26:25 PST

I am so thankful it's Friday.

Yesterday's post had Daphne from my distant husband asking why I didn't just down size while having my nose set. I mean I was already at the hospital. Excellent point. I will tell you why.

As a child I hated "them." My father said all the time that when I got older I would appreciate them. Now I understand that is just a damn man's point of view. My mom hated that I began to hunch and slouch to try to "hide" them. But as I have written here before she was a freak about posture and made me walk around with books on my head. (yea, I don't know what the hell that did for me either) She insisted that I didn't hide a damn thing I just looked like a girl who had big breasts who slouched. Point to mom.

So at the age of 25 I went to a doctor to see about down sizing "them"
He drew all over my chest and told me how they were going to remove my nipple/areola and he put an X where it was going to be moved to. I went there twice. Insurance would not pay for this so we discussed fee and hospital fees etc on my last visit. It was just shy of $10,000. (1981)
I had half of it saved so I had to wait a bit more time I told him. Then I decided, hey let's get a personal loan. So off to the bank I went. I filled out paperwork. 2 days later I lost my job.
Did I really want to spend my money for doing this? YES. But I was married at the time and he felt that I was being foolish until I went back to work.

Fast forward through divorce (1983) I went back to school with all that money and figured I would do it later. In the late 90's I was working for an airline and had good insurance and did this again in another state where I lived now. It was even more expensive and my insurance didn't care about my back or anything else that pays the price this was not covered. Great.
But I had flex dollars now and making more money so I was ready to go.
The doctor suggested that I lose 15lbs first. I was 125lbs at the time and thought boy if it were that easy. (I had a thyroid issue that was undiagnosed at the time and I really struggled to maintain my weight)

So home I went to begin not eating so these babies could be lobbed off.
Within weeks this airline was absorbed by another and the GDS (computer company where I worked) that the airline owned was sold to a private company. Guess who was downsized? Yep, not "the girls" but me. So once again I had to not move forward with this idea of downsizing the girls.

Life went on and it just became something for the back burner. $20K or a down payment on a house? You know things like that. Rick continued to tell me this was all a sign.
I kept saying the wrong thing kept being downsized and he kept saying, this was a higher powers way of telling me to leave them alone."
Spoken like a boob man don'tcha think?

Now I don't even care. I would like them lifted now more than lobbed off.
I am at a stage in my life where all that shit is no big deal anymore.
Since going through this big health issue in my life it has made me see that this is the "small" stuff. (okay they aren't small but you know what I mean)
My mom died of breast cancer as well and that fact isn't lost on me now as an adult.

So now I see the humor where I had none before.
The comments when I was young hurt me and normally I would cry.
I hated that my boobs walked into a room before me.
I hated that guys talked to them like microphones instead of looking at my face.

Now I make the jokes before anyone else.
C'mon back in the 70's when they had this thing called the pencil test.
Anyone out there remember that?
It was during the bra burning, no bra wearing days.
Days I could not take part in.
This was in all the girl magazines at the time. Glamour, Cosmo etc.
If you could put a pencil under your breast and it fell out you could go without a bra.
If you could put a pencil under your breast and it stayed there and if it wasn't seen then you needed to wear a bra.
I used to say, "hell I could put a typewriter under mine and it would get lost"
See I can tell my own jokes.

And like Ms. A. commented - they were their own floatation device.
I am not a strong swimmer.
But when I panic I roll over and float on my back and those girls will keep me afloat.

So Daphne that is why they are still "lying" here. :-)
At this time in my life when making the mortgages is a struggle this isn't a priority and truth be told I don't much care anymore.
So there ya go....we don't need to talk about the damn girls for awhile.

Happy Weekend Everybody.
I've got plans and I can't wait to start my weekend.
Is it 5p yet?

Falling Over

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 07:28:36 PST

Mike’s comment on my post yesterday reminded me of something that happened to me in my past.

My first job in the travel industry I worked for a small airline.
I flew to work each day. To some that is exciting. To me it was a royal pain in the ass.
Weather could mean I didn’t get home that night.

This job was with a small commuter airline in a small city.
The airline was being absorbed by a large carrier and it’s headquarters were moving to my hometown. The whole operation was moving but when they hired me they told me I would have to commute for a few months. (a few months lasted a full year!)

One day it began to snow, and snow, and snow some more.
I kept looking out my office window praying it would slow down so I could get home that night.
I actually had plans. This is when my commute via plane was so not fun.

I knew I was going to be stuck here. The only thing this snow storm did for me was realized I needed to have extra clothes that I could keep here in the office just for situations like this.
But on this night I had nothing but the clothes on my back.
And I was not wearing pants, boots or anything that would be good in this weather.
No that would make my life too easy. I was wearing a typical 1980’s suit, with nylons and heels.
I also just had a raincoat with a lining. When I looked out the window I wished for a pair of pants, winter boots and a warm parka and gloves.

Now the airport here was just like the television show Wings. Exactly.
There were the two airlines and the snack bar all in the same area as where the passengers waited.
On Wings they had a staircase but I don’t recall them ever showing us what was up there.
At this airport the upstairs had a restaurant and bar.
We went to that bar a lot as pilot and travel industry people are prone to do.
(Tip: travel industry folks can party like no others I have ever met. Be warned)

The day of the snow I left the office and went over to the bar with some co-workers and pilots. We all were grounded so to speak so what the hell, let’s drink.
Most lived nearby and weren’t flying so let the party begin.
Two of us made arrangements at the local motel. Yes, a motel, not a hotel.
This town did not have a hotel.
We had dinner and lots of cocktails. This group of people was always so much fun.

George was one of the older pilots
Allow me to rephrase that, he was not old.
I was in my 20’s he was probably 40 at best but to me at that time he was the old guy.
All the other pilots really looked up to him and respected him.
I heard all the tales of how great he was. He flew in Vietnam and boy he had stories.

I always wondered why he was working at this little carrier.
When you are a pilot you generally start at a small carrier until you have more hours etc and work your way up to bigger aircraft. He didn’t want anything more.
In fact last I heard he was a private pilot for a famous golfer.
So he was still flying but keeping it small as he would say.
He also liked living in this little city and just wasn’t interested in the big city life.

George was a one man show. He was crazy nuts, funny as hell and such a warm man.
I loved this guy. Once when he was flying me to work and no one else was in this little plane he did some shit just because he knew I was hung over. I actually threw up in my briefcase.
Yes, he did that on purpose. I was teased about that for a very long time.
I got off the plane and just threw my whole briefcase in the waste receptacle.
I couldn’t fathom cleaning it. I was so green.
If I could have spoken I would have killed him. And boy did he laugh.

When I was being bothered by guys hitting on me he was like my big brother I never had.
I really loved ole George. And this night he was in rare form.
At one point someone dared him to take his pants off for who knows what reason.
He got on the bar and danced in his boxer shorts to some Van Halen song.
People were throwing money at him. Oh if only they had had camera phones back then!
His boxers had some animals on them. I don’t recall what they were but my lord it made us all laugh.
Like kittens or something you just wouldn’t think you’d see on this macho man.

The other person who like me had to get a motel was a pilot.
He had stopped drinking much earlier in the evening in hopes that he was flying tomorrow so he wanted to leave to get some sleep. He was my ride as well so I had to leave too.

We checked into our little rooms. Our rooms were next door to one another.
The door to our room was from outside, first a screen door, then our room door.
It was clean and at this point it was all I could ask for.

Remember I had worn a suit to work with nylons and heels.
(back in the day when women wore pantyhose to work)
I had nothing warm. I was freezing.
I called the front desk and asked about the heat.
Apparently it was as high as it was going to go. Great.
So I asked for another blanket. But even that didn’t help.

Now I am a woman who is seldom cold but this was a very cold room and it was snowy and cold outside. It felt like the wind was coming through my little door.
I called the pilot next door and asked if he had any extra clothes.
He too thought it was ridiculously cold in there.
I told him I got an extra blanket he may want to call them.
He offered me his shirt and socks he had worn that day.
I didn’t even care I took them. My feet were freezing!!
So there I was wrapped in a pilots dirty shirt down to my knees and socks that were huge.
But I didn’t care my feet were at least starting to get warm.

The following morning I got up to shower.
I thought I had shut the door behind me as I stepped into the shower but apparently it didn’t catch.
As I was washing my hair I felt a chill so I slide back the shower curtain and saw the door open.
With a full head of shampoo lathered on my head I leaned forward bending at the waist only to slam the door. (very small bathroom)
The door slammed shut and I went face first into the tiles - hard.
My feet still planted firmly on the bottom of the bathtub.
It felt like my head bounced off the tile.
I literally saw stars just like in the cartoons.

I stood up and closed my eyes and opened them a few times to get my bearings.
I then went right back to washing my hair.
I had my back toward the shower head and tilting my head back to rinse my hair.
Yet I was feeling something warm running down my face.
It took me a minute to realize this was not water. The water was behind me.
I felt it and my hands were red with blood.

I was still a bit dizzy but finished rinsing my hair.
I got out of the shower and grabbed another wash cloth and held it to my nose which was now bleeding like a running faucet.
I didn't know that I also had a cut across my nose that was also causing all this blood.

I held my head over the bathroom sink trying to figure out what the hell was happening because I had never had a nose bleed before. The white wash cloth was turning red so quickly.
I grabbed a small hand towel now. When I did that I saw blood on the floor.

Oh my goodness. It was looking like a crime scene.
But every time I would lift my head up I would get all whoozy and nauseas.
So back into the sink I would go holding the towel on my nose.

What I am about to tell you next Rick likes to state that it says a lot about me and who I am.
I’ll let you be the judge.
Keeping my head down and holding the towel on my nose I filled up the tub with cold water.
I began to throw all the bloody towels I have used to clean up the floor and the sink and my face in the cold water. I feared that I had ruined them and I thought I better get them in cold water so I didn’t stain the towels.
I know, I know, who does that right?

I still couldn’t lift my head and I had to get dressed the same way I was doing things in the bathroom – bent at the waist with my head in my hand.

I called the pilot next door and said to go ahead without me.
I told him I had fallen and am having some issues. He said he’d come right over.
Well, no. I can’t get dressed and I would prefer when you get over to the airport you have Michelle (my boss) come over here to help me.
He made a joke about not looking but I couldn't even laugh I was in pain and dizzy and worried.
Hey I wasn’t going to let this guy dress me. I work with these people for heaven’s sake.

I managed to get my bra and panties on because I was damn sure I was not having my boss put them on me.
She walked into my room and squealed.
Apparently my eyes were turning black and blue and swollen already.
I just wanted to stop this bleeding and throw up.
But I needed to get dressed and I couldn't sit upright for long.
It all felt better if I was laying across the bed.
She helped me to get dressed and drove me to the hospital.
Helping me into my clothes was a comedy skit for sure.
If I hadn’t been feeling so awful I would have laughed then.
We laughed later on over this one.

At the hospital I was told I broke my nose and had to get a tetnus shot for the slash across my nose.
I remember being on a gurney and this really good looking young doctor or nurse came over and put the sides up of the bed and asked me to put my hands on either side as he held my hand closest to him.
I am now a bit loopy and seriously am only looking at this gorgeous guys hands on mine.
I was too drugged to realize he was holding me down not holding my hand.

With his hands over mine he asked how I was doing and where I was from.
You know the small talk trick trying to distract me I suppose.
Then a woman put her hands over my other hand on the other side of the bed.
She startled me. The doctor came over and said nothing just put her hands on both sides of my nose and moved it. I recall a loud yelp coming from me. OMG did that hurt.
I think it was now “set” She said, “you’re okay now and good to go.”
Gorgeous hospital man would go over my instructions.

The gorgeous guy stayed behind and told me what I had and what I had to do.
I had a concussion and a broken nose and now 2 big ole black eyes.
The cut across my nose was sewn up and I was fine I just wasn’t able to sleep due to the concussion. He had concerns about the aircraft I was to fly home in.
He and my boss walked away and were discussing this. I was too loopy to care.

They sent me back to the hotel. Michelle said I was not working today.
Gee ya think?
Since I couldn’t fly home until evening I was to sit/lay in the hotel until someone picked me up for my flight. I was not to fall asleep either because of the concussion.
She informed me that every so many minutes someone from the office would call me to be sure I was awake. I never was awake but they did their job as told by Mr. Gorgeous nurse/resident/intern and kept me from really sleeping. Sleep is all I wanted to do.

The aircraft I was flying home in was unpressurized.
The doctor felt this was going to be a problem. Pain, bleeding etc.
I just wanted to go home for a few days and not be in a hotel with no clothes you know?
I wanted to crawl into my big warm comfy bed. Pain and or bleeding be damned.
It was only a 30 minute flight just please let me go home!

I was picked up by George at the hotel around 4p. He was my pilot home.
That made me feel good. He always made me feel taken care of like your big brother.
I was hungry so I sat at the snack bar but trying to eat I found I couldn’t because I would have to move muscles on my face to chew that caused me too much pain. So they made me a milkshake. As I sat at the snack bar a lot of the people I work with were asking me all kinds of questions. Making jokes and just generally ribbing me. Looked like I was in a fight with Tyson and I lost. That type of stuff.

As I told them what had happened one of the pilots said, “Peg where the hell were your hands when you fell forward?”
I wanted to laugh but it hurt. I didn’t have an answer for this.
But before I could say anything George said, “Look at how she's built, it’s a wonder she doesn’t fall over a helluva lot more often.”

Oh that had the whole snack bar start laughing.....loudly....at me.
I even thought that was pretty damn funny but it hurt like hell to laugh or smile.
But I hated being known for this. The "two" things I was always trying to hide.
But leave it to George to make me feel a bit better and see the humor.

Unfortunately this comment followed me my whole career while I was at this airline.
I wasn’t thrilled to be known as “that” girl, the one with the big boobs who fell over.
But I have a sense of humor and I too thought it was funny.
I just wish the joke wasn't on me.

Holy Water

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 08:05:55 PST

Damn Holy Water!!
Guess that is where I got these DD's.
Raised Catholic and always had to put my hands in holy water.
I must have touched my chest unknowingly when I was a tiny child.
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
It's a no wonder I left the church.

Writing Class

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 10:00:52 PST

I wrote this for a blog post awhile ago and never posted it for some reason.
Since typing for any length of time is still difficult right now I thought I'd dig into the archives.
______
A few years ago I attempted to take a class in writing.
Everyone thought I should if I was going to write a blog.
You can see if you've been reading me that I am a drop out.

The way she asked me to write a story was all so very flowery.
It was encouraged to write that way.
But it isn’t how I speak.
I found it so difficult.
So very much like F. Scott Fitzgerald much more than me.

She kept saying she wanted unique and descriptive.
The things that got encouragement from the instructor were things that were so difficult for me to write. So I decided in my class that it was apparent that I am most certainly not a writer.
Nor will I ever be because I just couldn't cut this class.

Yes, she said nice things to me about these assignment but it took me forever to write this way.
The small vignettes or sentences below I had to write were all about something in my life that had happened or was happening.
They were to be a vivid memory yet worded in a way that you may not even know it was me.
I found it all so exhausting. Hence why I’m not a writer I suppose.
I knew what I wanted to say but a paragraph could take me an hour to find a way to say it the way the instructor wanted it said. I kept thinking if I really was a writer and I went through this angst it would take me 100 years to write a book.
I’m giving you some examples below.

This first one was how I found out my mother had died.
It was so long ago but I can still smell the stale smoke at my Grandmothers house.
I can still feel it, see it and it feels so raw even to this day.
Yet articulating it was so difficult for me.
Oh not if I could just write it like I speak, that would be easy.
This was for my very first lesson in class.
I would write some and then walk away.
It was so damn difficult of an exercise.
Oh not because of my mom’s death but because this is not how I speak.
It just didn’t come easily for me.
The instructor asked me to write about this topic and I did as told.
Thankfully I got an A as well as encouragement not to quit. (But I quit anyway)
________
She instinctively knew the minute she bounced into the room. The familiar faces that surrounded the dining room table were in various modes of still. She politely turned her head away to the wall of windows on her left with the happy sunlight filling her view. She didn’t want to turn away from her safe view but she knew she had to face them. She glanced their way again hoping to see the playful sunshine on their faces this time. Instead she saw the aura of their whispers and she just knew it wasn’t going to be sunny again for a very long time.

This next two make me laugh because they too were real situations.
One of them being the damn assignments.
She wanted a sentence that “moved”
That term she kept using drove me absolutely bat shit crazy.
“Movement”, or it “moved” were said by her all too frequently.
I was very busy so I just wrote these flippantly and considered it a completed assignment.
I thought I’d hear about being lazy yet she loved it! I admit that made me laugh.
They never came that easily again for me. Trust me on that.

His manner was meek as were his clothes so she was startled when he leaned in closely and in an aggressive whisper told her to leave

In defeat of a realization that it was now work instead of blissful pleasure she let go of a disappointed sigh.

Gee is it obvious that last one is me writing about my class here?

So have you taken a writing class?
If so, did you do this because you want to be a writer or just for fun?
I thought it would be fun but it wasn't fun to me, so I am curious.
Did you get from it what you thought you wanted or needed?

Love to hear your thoughts on this.

Clumsy ole Margaret

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 09:36:56 PST

Hi. It's me, Izzy, writing to you today

My human mom hurt her shoulder. She's blaming me but it's not my fault.

Thursday she and I were outside and I was just laying in the grass eating a stick while she and the lady across the street were chatting. She was facing this lady and I was behind her but I was on the leash. Hey it's not my fault that a big fat squirrel ran in front of me. I jumped up and took off to chase it and my mom wasn't looking and it pulled her shoulder and she screamed and I lost the darn squirrel. Boy I hate when she does that. She kept saying that something pulled in her arm/shoulder. But she seemed fine to me. We finished the walk but she took me off the leash. Had I known it would have been that easy I would have jerked her around long ago. I never run away and I never go beyond my human parents when walking without the leash so I am blaming her for hurting herself. Sounds right doesn't it?

On Friday she was really moaning about pain.

She wouldn't throw the ball for me at lunch time either.

I love that she throws the ball at lunch time instead of wasting her time eating.

She hurt her left arm and she's right handed so why couldn't she throw for me?

I think she is milking this people. What do you think?

Saturday morning she was up way before me and Rick.

She said she had been up since 1:30a.m. sitting in the theatre seats because it was more comfortable than lying in bed. Ooh oh.

I remember that from the time she torn her rotator cuff and shredded her labrum.

I hope she doesn't remember that.

Now my mom isn't quiet. That isn't an adjective anyone would use to describe her.

She's always laughing or talking or making some noise.

But on Saturday she was quiet all day and when she wasn't quiet she was cranky.

I don't like when she's in pain - she's not fun to be around.

It was all about her. Normally it's all about me.
I don't like this change.

I didn't even get treats.

She gives me these great peanut butter treats and hugs.

I got neither.

She sat around with ice on her shoulder/arm.

She closed her eyes a lot.

She didn't even come to bed with my human dad and me.

She slept in the theatre seats in the tv room.

Don't think she is getting much sleep right now.

Sunday she was worse. I heard her cry trying to get dressed.

I watched as Rick attempted to help her get dressed. (memories from last time)

Once again he seems to be very deft at taking a bra off with a snap of his fingers but putting it on someone is like a foreign object he's never seen before.

He decided that Mom shouldn't wear one and to just "be free" as he said.

He laughed, she sighed, and I just watched these two goof balls.

I think Mom was fighting tears. I think she is in some serious pain here.

I kept giving her cute puppy eyes so that I don't have to feel guilty about this.

She also asked Rick for help on her hair but he just can't get the hang of a blow dryer and a brush. She may be wearing a baseball cap for awhile.

At least her right hand is pain free so she can do some things.

Sunday night she sat in those big ole chairs with ice on her.

She slept that way too for a few hours, but Rick and I went to bed.

This morning she is whining some more. I think I've had enough of this.

She can't tie her shoes. She had to put her boots on before Rick left so he could help her.

She says she can't type. She can't lift her arm. She is in a bad way.

It's making her cranky so I will try to behave today.

I think I will sleep a lot and stay out of her way.

If she isn't better soon what will I do? Wanna come play with me?

Your Opinion

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 11:54:16 PST

These are some submissions for a retail box for our new product.
I don't like them much.
One does stand out to me but we have a long way to go yet to make it what it needs to be.
This is just the first step.
Your opinoin would be appreciated.
If you hate them all let me know.
If there is one better than another please let me know.
We would love your comments.

Remember these are for boxes so these are flatten boxes.
I have my preference.
Once we chose one then we will work further with that designer to make changes and work from there. I believe there will be a lot of discussions and changes before we get to where we need to be. This is just the 1st step.

So if you would be so kind we would love your opinion.
(link removed due to contest completed)

In other news.....
It's that time of year where it's cold and I'm paler than pale.
I love 4 seasons but at this time of year I am ready for it to be a bit warmer.
In August I feel ready for fall. Same thing.
Come February I have had enough of winter and I'm ready for spring to rear it's head.
So I started looking at some summer pictures of being at the lake house.
I thought I would share.
This is when Izzy was just a mere pup of less than a year.
She hated the wind in her face and she just squint like this the whole time on the boat ride.
Damn she's cute.

Aah, I remember warm sunny days playing in warm water.

And hey Katie if you're reading this - I saw those great noodles again at Costco.
I think I have to buy some more for this year so we all have them when you come down!

Happy Weekend everyone. Think warm.

The Wedding.

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 08:48:23 PST

It was 1983.
I was going through my divorce from my 1st husband and high school sweetheart.
My friends gave me a lot of grief that I wasn't mean to him.
I heard things like, he hurt you make him pay.
Take the money and make him feel this like he hurt you.

That isn't my nature. Doesn't mean you can't do that if you like but it's not my nature to do that type of thing. I may have only been 27 at that time but I just have always felt that being mean, vindictive or spiteful only hurt me not the person who has done you wrong.
Besides I liked the guy. I will never understand the animosity that I see with divorce couples. How can you hate them? You loved them once enough to marry them. Yes he hurt me terribly. Aside from my mothers death this was the biggest pain in my life. But being mean to someone else wasn't going to make me feel better. It wasn't going to make him love me. It wasn't going to do anything but make me a bitter mean woman. Just isn't who I am.

We had grown apart and I began to feel like I was running in place.
The communication was off and I was lonely in my marriage.
I made the mistake of having a weak moment and sharing with a friend.
She apparently called him at work. He came home livid that I would talk to her about the issues we were dealing with at home. We talked and talked and we even tried counseling.
Then this casual friend was hanging around a lot more.
I began to suspect he was no longer mad at her and was fooling around with her.
I was right about what was going on and I caught them by accident. Whoops! Painful.
I knew if I had been honest with myself that we were going in this direction.
However I buried that. I was a kid.
I kept thinking this was just a bump and we'd go back to the way we were.
But deep down I knew this was not true.
Now it was no longer in the back of my mind, it was right there in front for me to deal with.
And deal with it I did in my way.

I remember our "come to Jesus" meeting. We talked and I cried and we decided that I would move out. This was his home before we married. We discussed how we would split things up.
We talked about splitting the money and I would go back to school.
It was very emotional and very mature at the same time.
We both had feelings for one another but we both knew this was what needed to be done.
Painful but we had to. I knew he hurt too even though he facilitated the end so to speak.

When I saw this so called friend I told her what was on my mind. It wasn't nice.
But I also knew I would see her and I had to be able to get this off my chest and know that when I saw her we could at least be civil. Awkward but civil.
We were a "gang" so to speak so there was no way that we wouldn't see one another or run into one another. Sadly the "gang" took sides. The two of the them were left on the curb.
For some reason that made me feel badly but yet it made things easier for me to still see my friends and not see them. But my friends kept wanting me to be mean.
How can you talk to him? How can you be so civil and split things up evenly?
You lost your job a few weeks ago - take all his money! C'mon make him pay they would say.

I remember an evening when we sat in his home separating our things.
We had been together from age 17 to age 27. My whole adult life really.
We sat on the living room floor and started separating our albums. His pile and mine.
I have to tell you how much we laughed because this was the hardest part of the splitting of things. How damn silly.
"I want the History of Eric Clapton", I said.
He responded with, " it was a gift from you to me so I should be able to keep it."
We compromised on a lot of our albums by making cassettes of albums for the other person.
How absolutely silly don't you think? Now I can't play the albums or the cassettes.
This we argued over, how ridiculous. We had over 400 albums between us and he thought he couldn't go on without James Gang or The Doors.
Thankfully he hated Billy Joel so I got them all. None of which I can even play now.

I want to believe that if I had children and when I went through my divorce I would have handled my divorce and the communication with my ex the same way that I did with or without children. I know it would have been miserable at first. Down right miserable!
But as the years went on it would have become easier.
Besides what kind of message would I be sending my children if I acted the way my friends thought one should act. It just isn't me or where I feel comfortable. I don't want to be friends with him per se but I didn't want to be enemies either. I also don't want to say anything bad about my ex to my children because it is their father. This would be hard enough on them they don't need to take sides but to know they are loved and they can love both parents the same as always. This is a scary time and they need to know that while life for them is changing their parents love for them will never change. Who are the adults here anyway?

Two years after the divorce my new boss and I are going to go to some guy's house that she just met. He asked her to stop by because he said he was having a few friends from work over to his home. She asked me to go with her. I walked into the small party and saw "him" playing pool.
Oh geez. I panicked. I hadn't seen him in 2 years. He looked up and saw me too and I saw the panic in his eyes. I was introduced to the man hosting this get together and my boss's date.
He introduced me to the man he was playing pool with. I shook his hand.
We smiled and I said," nice to see you again."
My boss, Heidi, said, "do you know one another?"
My ex looked paniked. I said, "yes we went to high school together." without missing a beat.
Hey it was the truth we did go to school together.
They nodded and nothing else was said. I stayed on the other side of the room most of the night.
As the night went on I was behind the bar making my self a drink.
The host asked if I needed anything because he saw me looking around.
I said, "Do you have any limes?"
I was making myself a gin and tonic. He got me a lime and a knife.
My ex said, "Oh don't give her a knife without a band-aid."
We both had a big laugh like something is between us.
Yes this was an ongoing joke when we were together. Everyone else laughed but had no idea.

As Heidi and I were driving home she asked me about this guy I knew from high school.
She thought he seemed nice. I said he is a nice guy.
I told her he was my ex-husband. She squealed, WHAT? and pulled over.
I explained that if I had said that it would have made everyone uncomfortable.
I would have been uncomfortable because everyone would be looking to see how we interacted or if we even did interact. I didn't want that.
She said, "but you guys were so nice to one another"
I said, "why not?" She looked at me like I had a 3rd eye while we discussed this.
The conversation was making me squirm and this is why I didn't say anything I told her.

So that brings me to Rick's daughters wedding. WHAT you say?
Rick's wife is mean to me. Rick's wife is mean to his daughter if she says nice things or does nice things to or for her father. Rick's Ex will still not even utter a word in his direction.
I met his ex wife 10 years after they had been divorced so there is no reason to be mean to me. None. But she is petty. At his daughters graduation his ex's new husband asked us to come to the house for the graduation and she yelled, "Oh no they can't come to my home."
When I was introduced to her at the high school at the graduation I extended my hand and said, "Hi XYZ it is nice to finally meet you." She turned her head as my head just hung there.

We have never ever had the opportunity to spend any time with his daughter at any important event or activity or sport in this girls lifetime. We went to one sporting event and were asked to leave once the ex made a loud obnoxioius roar about us watching his daughters game.

We were always asked to stay away. She accepted our money. She accepted the tuition for college. She filled her daughters head with lies. Lies I had to say nothing about because my husband said that we had to take the high road. That if we told her that her mother was a liar we were stooping to her mothers level. That we would be making his daughter hear bad things about her mom and that she shouldn't have to pick sides. He really thought she would see the real issues when she grew up. Hmmm....never happened sadly.

So now we have a wedding. I imagine we will be asked for a lot of money for said wedding.
I imagine we will not be invited to anything to do with the wedding, if even the wedding unless his daughter speaks up. If we can actually go to the wedding we will be treated like outsiders. Except our money. I have to say this makes me angry.

Rick and his daughter don't have a great relationship. He has tried and I see the pain he goes through. But there comes a point that as a 31 almost 32 year old she has to see the truth. I have told her things that Rick would kill me for. But she needed to know. I never bad mouth her mother, for heaven's sake it's her mother and I am evil step mommy. I get that.
But telling a 7 year old that your father killed your dog is a horrific statement.
He lived 3 hrs away and he had no access to the dog. Besides being a dog lover that would never ever have happened. The mom wanted to get rid of the dog and why not blame that evil father of yours. She really thought he did that until she was 20 yrs old.
There are a lot of awlful stories like this.

So why can't people just put it all aside? I honestly just don't understand that.
If you love your child why the hell would you do this to your kid?
Why did she have to damage her kids relationship with her father?
Does that make her feel good that she hurt her daughter?
Does she get some kind of pleasure from having her daughter always say that she missed having her father in her life more? She stopped that from happening. She forbid it.

I understand the pain. I understand the uncomfortable part when in their company.
But you loved one another once. More importantly you say you love your child.
You married at age 20 and were too damn young and grew apart.
No one was to blame here. Grow up and move on.
Do what is best for you and your child for once. Put someone's life and well being ahead of your own. Isn't that what parents do?

I hope his daughter elopes. This is going to be too much to bear if we are completely ostrized.
I should say, too much for Rick to bear. I'm used to it.
No one will even talk to me and I have nothing to do with any of this.

It's been 30 years - what is the Statute of Limitations here?
When will she (the ex) grow up? She is 56 now. C'mon it's time.
Hurting her daughter is a crime to me that mothers or fathers just shouldn't be allowed to commit.

Tuesday Random Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:05:47 PST

**A thing that has reared it's ugly head for me is a saying I have been hearing a great deal.
Yesterday I had too many customers call us and say "you people" to me.
I had a man call and after I said hello and how may I help you he said the following:
Hey do you people do this?
Do you people come to my city?

I had a lot of those "you people" over the last month.
Is it just me or do you say that when you call someone for service?
I wouldn't think of saying that when I called a person to come fix my fireplace, "Hey do you people fix fireplaces?
First of all I called a company who's website says they do.
Second of all it's rude to me to say, "you people"

I ask everyone who calls where they heard of us.
I do this for marketing reasons.What advertising is paying off?
Was it a referral? (we have a referral program for vendors as well as customers)
So when all of the people yesterday told me they were on our website I really wondered why they would ask if "you people" do this when they just saw that we did.
It just bugs me! Just add it to my ever growing list of pet peeves.

**Rick's daughter got engaged this weekend.
Yikes a wedding! I am trying not to think about it.
Hopefully it's a very long engagement.

**Aside from the too few quips from Ricky Gervais the Golden Globes were a snooze fest.
I want more snarky Ricky and less what are you wearing? Less of the winners thanking their God and their kids. It's a professional environment. Thank your personal family and your personal God alone or at home. At work thank those that helped you achieve this win. End of story - go sit down.

**I must say the childish head bands of the beautiful Michelle Williams and Charlize Theron were horrific as well as the Golden Globes. Seriously they looked like those head bands they put on babies. What the hell were they thinking? Someone told them this was hip and they just did it? No, no, no.

**We pay an enormous amount of money monthly to take credit cards.
It works like this if you aren't aware.
The bank charges an activation fee.
They also charge a monthly fee just to be able to offer credit cards to our customers.
They charge fees for each credit card you use.
They vary. If the card gets you points it takes more money from me.
If a card is a debit card there is a different fee. Then there are all the fees the credit card company charges the bank that I pay. American Express is outrageous. If the bill is $500 American Express gets almost $100. So we dropped Amex. It's illegal to charge more if you take a credit card so can't make up that money just because I let you use your card.
And if you get points on your American Express I barely get my money for the damn job.
We are billed at the end of each month for this service of taking credit cards.
It can vary from $300 a month to 4 times that amount.
The more our customers use credit cards the more they take from us. I hate it.
I prefer customers give us checks but we can't say that of course.
It is a necessary evil. The worst part?
When a customer uses a credit card we don't get the money for a couple of days either.
It goes from the card service to the bank and then to us.
A great day is only waiting 24 hours for the money.
Amex took up to 5 days. The others were usually up to 48 hrs and we got our money.

But now there is something new to replace that old banking system.
Oh how I am loving this so far.
I was watching a special that Larry King had on CNN with a group of celebrities over dinner and they all just talked about different topics. The man who invented Twitter was talking about his newest thing called The Square. You put this little square on your IPhone or Android phone or your IPad. You can swipe credit cards and link it to your bank and no fees except one. The Square is small and fits in the middle of your palm small.

I got online immediately to check this out. It seemed too good to be true.
I continued to do research for a week.
While I still believed it had to be too good to be true but I had to try.
I signed the company up and we received the Square.
There is no activation fee, there is no monthly fee, there are no special fees from the banks or from the card companies. One fee of 2.75% of each sale. That is all we pay.
While that seems high when some of mine were 1.35 and more by the time you add up all the other fees it wasn't higher at all. It was all an illusion.
Trust me we did the math every which way we could.

I have spent the last month going over the numbers. It is working!
I get the money in 24 hrs.
They tell you 24 - 48 hrs to protect themselves I suppose.
They take the money from you off the deposit immediately.
I like that because there is no surprise at the end of the month of what your fee will be debited from your account. That is wonderful!
This is a huge savings every month from our bottom line.

Before we got this when a customer wanted to use a credit card they would give it to Rick.
He would call the office. I would input this into the computer and it would send them an email confirmation receipt. Rick would also give them an invoice as well.
We have now eliminated the need for Rick or a technician to call the office.

This tiny little thing attaches to Rick's phone.
When he is done with a job he can now take their card, swipe it in his phone and a receipt is sent to their email and he's done.
Saves time and money!!

When they sell stock I will be running to invest in this puppy.
You should too.
We have told several contractors who have all signed up.
That means we have all left banks.
No one is crying here about that!

Wrapping Up My Week

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 08:40:23 PST

Do you remember when I asked all of you when a seal became a symbol of Christmas?
I finally took a photo one evening while Rick and I walked around the neighborhood with Izzy.
I kept forgetting to show you all so here it is.
I still don't understand how this circus seal with a ball on his nose has anything to do with the holiday.

When my niece was little she would say a certain persons behavior embarrassed her.
I would always tell her that no one can embarrass you unless you let them, they are embarrassing themselves.
No one can make you feel guilty, ugly or anything else unless you give them power to do it to you.
I didn't take my own advice this week.
I sure was a stupid woman this week......where did I go this week?

Have any of you seen this website?
I pay a lot to color my hair.
When people ask me, "What color is your real hair Peg?" My answer would be white.
I am too young for white just yet in my mind. So I color and highlight.
Pain in the ass, high maintenance and expensive.
I have been known to color it myself and we can all remember how the last time I did that I ended up looking like Elvira. Not a good look for me....or Elvira for that matter.
Had to get it fixed after that so not much money saving there.
I believe I will be giving this a chance. What have I got to lose $4.95? Pfff.
I then would only need to get a couple of highlights if I wanted. Serious money would be saved.
I like the idea.

Over the last 5 weeks or so I have been feeling badly health wise.
I have shared that I have Hypothyroidism (Hashimoto's) I take a couple pills and I normally feel fine. But symptoms have raised their ugly little heads and I also don't feel so great.
Yesterday I ate well, no bad carbs, only protein, veggies. Light meals.
I weight myself every morning.
This morning got on the scale and I gained 3lbs overnight. Yea. Not good.
My hair has been falling out like crazy, it has become very dry and dull.
I am getting rashes on me again and my nails are splitting vertically and that is painful.
The thickness feeling in my neck is back and the list goes on and on. It's not fun.
So I need to go back to the doctor and see what is happening. I used to be more upset with the weight issue of this damn disease but after feeling so good for so long I now would prefer just feeling good. This isn't fun. Autoimmune Diseases just suck.
I see my doctor on the 18th so I am hoping we get this turned around before I gain all the weight back I just lost.

In the past I have shared with you that my crazy little dog loves stuffed animals.
Izzy will surgically remove their eyes, nose and mouth if it is buttons or thread only.
Then she will play with them for years.
Here she is with Tigger on the patio sunning herself. Notice Tiggers eyes and face are gone.
Poor Tigger is blind. But she can't play with them if they still have a face.
This cracks me up.
No matter the stuffed animal she does this. I would so like to know why she does this or why their faces bother her so.

I made homemade tomato soup again this week. I got the recipe from The Chew.
My goodness this is great soup. Rick is addicted and asks for it all the time.
So this time I made a double batch so I could freeze some.
Earlier in the week we each had a cup of this soup with a little salad for dinner.
Well let me rephrase....Rick had 2 cups and then he kept going into the container on the counter I had put this in so that I could freeze it. He then suggested I not freeze it for awhile.
It'll keep until the weekend he said.
You all know that I went out on Wednesday night and he was to fend for himself for dinner.
While I had a very bad greek salad he ate the rest of that damn soup!!
The equivalent of 2 cans of soup would be my guess.
So unless I make more there will be none for this cold weekend we have approaching.
I hate when he does that but thrilled he likes it so much.
I wish I could just open a can of soup like he can but they have the dreaded gluten.

This weekend we are going to get winter weather and high winds.
I plan to settle in for the weekend and stay warm.
See ya'll on Monday.

He Asked Three Times

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 08:09:07 PST

"So how did he ask you to marry him?" She asked over martini's.
I laughed and said that it wasn't a grand romantic gesture to most but it was to me because he stopped eating.
She laughed because she knows that is a big deal with Rick.
She impatiently said, "Well damn it share!"
"All three times? Or just the last one where I accepted?
All three times.

I had moved to Ohio while he was in PA. We were not even dating, just friends.
I was staying in a hotel until my apartment was ready.
My things were all in storage.
I was to be in temporary housing for only 4 weeks. I had clothes for 4 weeks.
It was now 8 weeks and the season was changing. I needed a coat, all in storage.
You can seriously get sick of wearing the same clothes and since I hate shopping I didn't like the idea of having to go shop for more.
I was whining to a client about getting into my home when she offered me her big ass mega home while she and her family went to Europe. I excitedly accepted.
I was now in a beautiful home overlooking the lake.
I could buy food and eat a nice warm meal at a real home.
Not mine but better than my hotel or sitting alone at a restaurant.

One evening while on the phone talking to Rick I told him about this great home.
I asked if he had plans for the weekend maybe he could come up to visit.
Just 90 minutes away.
He was dating one of his bimbo dujours at the time. I was not dating anyone.
He said he'd come to visit and we made plans to go to these islands and tour etc.
Play tourist in my new town type of thing.
We started at the island winery and did a tour and tastings.
We then went to a restaurant bar for a late lunch on the island.
The place was packed and a band was playing in the middle of the afternoon.
It was like it was 10p at night. People dancing and the bar hopping.
We couldn't get a table so we bellied up to the bar.
Ordered a couple of burgers and a couple of drinks. It was quite the festive place.
The couple next to us asked us how long we had been married.
Married? We aren't even dating!
Rick immediately said as he grabbed my hand, "Oh this is our honeymoon"
He gave me a wink. I went with it.
They bought us a round of drinks. Now I felt badly.
They told the bartender we were here on our honeymoon. More free drinks.
This went on for some time. I was a bit panicked.
I was not feeling comfortable with this but ole Mr. Liar Pants is having a field day.
He even told the band who played a song we both liked.
For heaven's sake now we have to dance? We don't even date people!

Out on the dance floor I am mortified and say to Rick that we can't possible continue to mess with people like this, it's mean. He laughs and says there is no harm in it just go with it.
We did end up having a very fun day touring. We rented mopeds and a couple who had been at the bar told the man at the rental moped place that we were on our honeymoon. Yes, we got a discount. I felt awful but Mr. Liar Liar Pants on Fire is finding this a hoot. My Grandmothers voice is in my head saying, "Going to hell in a handbasket Peggy"

We ended our day getting back on the ferry heading back to the mainland.
We drove back to my house sitting home and made ourselves dinner.
As we sat down overlooking the beautiful sunset over the lake Rick said, "We should get married some day"
I laughed, "We better tell the people we date then don't you think?"
He said, "I'm serious."
"We've never dated Richard and I wouldn't date you so marriage is out of the question.
Besides you are so not marrying material!"
Nonchalantly he says, "Well I gave it a good try." as we both laugh.

A few years later one evening he called me after work as he was prone to do daily.
He asked if I was doing anything with Jon that weekend.
Jon was a firefighter I dated at the time.
I said, no Jon has to work and besides I was thinking of going home to visit my family.
Rick asked if I wanted to go home with him instead. Hey anything not to visit my family!
He really didn't want to go and he said the road trip would be much more fun if I came with him.
I said, "Alright I have nothing else to do as long as your girlfriend won't get all pissy again. I don't need the grief"
" No, I broke up with her she was getting too serious."
"Okay then a road trip it is"
We had a ball.
I saw where he grew up and seriously it was in the middle of no where and I found it all so interesting. His mom was sick at the time and yet she managed to make us spaghetti and meatballs. (homemade of course) strawberry shortcake and homemade whipped cream etc.

After dinner and dishes Rick and I sat with his mom for awhile.
When she went to lay down we told her we were going down to the Country Tavern to see some old buddies of Ricks. We had a good time there. The beers were less than $1 and the people were friendly and kept calling him Ricky or little Ricky. The woman in the kitchen came out to hug him. Apparently she was his church choir leader. She kept calling him Little Ricky. She came up to his nipples. Yep, little Ricky at 6'2" built like a big ole football player. That was funny to me.
It was fun to see this side of him.

On the way home at 2am we were starving.
But in a town of less than 2,000 people there are no Mickey D's or diners opened late.
When we got into his house we grabbed forks and stood in front of the open fridge eating cold meatballs and spaghetti. As he held the big bowl of food and we stood there eating in front of the light of the fridge I said, "I really have to do something nice when I get home for your mom"
He had a big ole smirk on his face and said, "Like marry her son?"
"Oh no, I had more in mind of a thank you card and some flowers"
We both burst into laughter!
He said, "You know some day you are going to say yes to me."
I gave a hearty laugh.

Fast forward at least 4 years later we are now living together.
We were at dinner and I was bitching about taxes.
I had just done the payroll that day and I was complaining how unfair it is that married people have so much less taxes taken out of their pay compared to us who just live together.
I bitched about this every time I did payroll.
This was not a new a new thing for Rick to listen to I'm sorry to say.
Rick never even looking up from his food said, "Well then just marry me."
"Yep, that's a reason to get married Bucko, to save on our taxes. No thank you."

He put down his fork and grabbed my hand and he looked so serious it made me panic.
He said as his eye welled up with tears, "I am serious, will you marry me Margaret?"
I knew he was serious, he put his fork down and stopped eating for heaven's sake.
This time I said Yes!
Third time was a charm.

All Kinds of Wrong.

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 07:53:21 PST

Did you hear it?
Did you see it?

She just couldn't stay away and start a new life.
She just had to bring attention to herself.
All this attention she just craves.

This could have been a great time to reevaluate her life and begin to do something good with it.
Perhaps when one is so delusional about themselves and a pathological liar nothing ever changes.

Casey Anthony has a new video diary for us.
She is putting them out there for all to see.
She will continue to do so she says to get her story out.
She now has a blonde bob and black glasses.
Why change your look when you continue to put yourself out there?
What the hell is the point of that?

Who does she think she is fooling?
She will never tell the real story. It will just be lie after lie.
I sincerely hope that people will not pay her in anyway to listen to her or to put her on television.

Yesterday someone said to me when they saw her video that maybe she'll finally hang herself through her inability to shut the hell up. One can only hope, but I for one don't see justice happening here.

Who knows. I just wish she and Trump would go far far far away.
But they are like annoying relentless little nats.
I keep swatting and they just keep coming back.

Did you see Steven Sunday?

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 11:37:36 PST

I have mentioned here before how much I enjoy Steven Tyler.
I read his autobiography and it was interesting and yet odd.
But I learned a great deal about him that I never knew.
Odd in the way of his tangents and his phrasing.
Not always easy to follow but that is how he talks all the time too.
That makes me sound pretty damn stupid that I can't keep up with an old drug addict doesn't it?

Steven was on OWN Sunday night and I really enjoyed the 2 hr interview with Oprah.
I don't always care for her interview style but I did enjoy the look into Steven's world.
No revelations if you read his book but interesting non the less.
I couldn't get my eyes off his feet at the very beginning.
He was walking so funny I found it completely distracting.
Yes this pic is of his feet - painted toenails and all.

I said to Rick, how the hell have we never noticed the way he walked before?
He looked to me like he had a club foot or just something very wrong with him.
I was glad they finally talked about it because I was so focused on his feet I was missing what was being said. Apparently he has had a lot of surgery on his feet and appears to be in constant pain. That can't be too great for an addict. The constant pain with out medication that is.

I was also surprised at his lake house. It was modest like mine.
(well, without the leopard sofa)
I expected this big ole rock star home on the water.
I realize he has one of those big ole rock star homes in LA but I just figured this one would be like that too. Wouldn't you?

Rick and I laughed when Oprah called him Nature Boy.
I have been calling Rick that for 20+ years now.
If it weren't for my love of Rick I surely wouldn't be living where I live.
I would be in the heart of a big city living a different life.
The suburbs are our compromise.
When I worked in Manhattan I lived here.
I would have preferred the other way around living in Manhattan and commuting here a few days a week for work. In all those years Rick came to NYC with me only once. He hated it.
He thinks the whole place smells like pee.
He only came because I asked him. It is so not his cup of tea.....It is so mine.

When Rick and I lived in Erie PA we would walk these nature trails at Presque Isle State Park.
The fall was our favorite. When there were lots of acorns or some such thing from nature on the ground he would tell me what the winter would be like. In the spring he would look at nature and tell me about the coming summer. He was never wrong and that would sleigh me.
Who needs the Farmers Almanac when I have Nature Boy?
With his guidance I knew when I needed to buy new boots.
See that is how a city girl uses her Nature Boy.

Rick looks at nature for all kinds of things and continues to tell me if we pay attention we can all see this stuff. Hell I don't even know what half the stuff is he is pointing to, picking up, talking about. I just nod my little head and smile. If he could just be in nature 24/7 he would be one happy man. It is surprising to me that he spent his life in the corporate world so far from nature.
Thankfully he doesn't spend all his time in nature because it gives him a very weird side affect.....he comes home horney.

If he worked in nature I would never have the time or energy for my blogger world. :-)

How I Spent My Holiday Vacation.

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 12:18:12 PST

The holidays are over and I for one am thankful.

I watched a lot of movies.
I purged a lot of my house.
I ate too much.
I drank more.

Neither Rick nor I ever have made resolutions in our lives.
But this year we made what we called a plan.
We begun by organizing our home.
To bring it back to the way it used to be.

Now I have shared with you in the past that Rick as well as friends tease me a great deal about me being so anal retentive.
I was teased because everything in my drawers in my kitchen or my bedroom were in such order.
I was teased when Rick would open the pantry and see all things lined up just so.
Rick thought it was so odd when the things on the shelf in the pantry were organized by what they were for. Ex: baking, cooking, etc. "How else to find things I would ask? You can't just put things on a shelf willy nilly Rick?
When they were all helter skelter of late he kept saying, "What is going on with my Margaret?"
I just didn't care. First time in my life....well past my teenage years that is.
My desk is beyond recognition. Where as I used to have all the pencils facing one way now you can barely find a pen or pencil. The holders are empty and papers are strewn about in piles.
Now I am not going to be on hoarders and I know people reading this who know me and have been to my house would say, "this is what you call a mess?"
To me it is.
It's uncomfortable and it's been done for the wrong reasons.
It didn't get like this because it is who I am.
It got like this because I am not myself.

This past year I was depressed.
Money woes like the rest of America.
Stress from business income being down 50%.
Stress from my bills being more than what was coming in.
Stress that my savings is gone.
Stress from having ruined my credit which was steller for my whole life.
Stress that my home is underwater.
Stress that my 2nd home is still trying to be sold because I can no longer afford a 2nd home.
Stress, stress, stress. It has felt like a slow drowning.

But you know what I have learned this year?
The stress is causing me more issues.
I learned I stress eat. Believe it or not I never knew that.
I have become very aware of this for the first time. So I guess that is a good thing.
I learned that I let things around me pile up and I try to ignore everyone and everything around me when I am stressed.
I learned that doing all of this doesn't make anything better so I must stop.
Drowning under food, drink or piles of paper or letting the laundry pile up doesn't make the issue go away. The issue is still there and I am adding to the pile of shit that is my stress.

So I am going to try to deal with this new life to the best of my ability.
I am a smart woman.
I know that eating chocolate, drinking and letting things pile up in my home do not make my life better.
In fact they only add to the stress.
I may not be able to control everything which is my nature to try to do.
But I can control this and I need to snap out of this funk.
It is the new normal for me and I have to accept that fact and make the best of it.

So I have purged papers, clothes, things and it continues.
Over this holiday I have cleaned cupboards, closets and even a laundry room.
My office is still 1/2 way complete. End of year papers that need saved for 1 year in a box.
Rick is doing his share with his closet and clothes.
We are having a big ole house purge.

I admit it feels good to get back to the way it used to be.
Have a few more things to do but it feels good.
Painted the kitchen, powder room and this Saturday the dining room.

My whole life I have been a successful goal setter and in control.
Time to get back to it!

End of the Year Wrap Up

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 20:02:16 PST

It's the end of 2011 and I must say I am not sorry to see it go.

I have some random thoughts for my last 2011 post.
So come for the ride with me all over the damn place.

Over this holiday I have watched a few PPV movies.
Dish Network gave us 6 free pay per view movie certificates as a part of their good customer service because I was inconvenienced. I know! Customer service! That in itself is a holiday miracle!
We watched 3 of them last week.
Rick chose 2 of the movies and I made 1 choice.
Rick's choices are those of a 12 year old boy.
He chose The Change Up with Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman and his 2nd was My Idiot Brother with Paul Rudd. (more like my idiot husband)
Let me just say I am thankful they were both free.
I didn't hate them like I would a violent movie or any movie with Tom Cruise but these were not great movies. I could do other things while these movies were on and I wasn't worried I was missing anything. There were a few laughs but really not movies one should have to pay to see. Of course I loved my choice and better yet Rick thought it was the best of the 3 as well.
Crazy Stupid Love was my movie of choice.
I love Julianne Moore in everything. Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosling aren't so bad either.
Seriously Ryan and Steve were great together.
Did any of you see this movie? Did you like it? I would love to hear what you thought.
The more I see of Emma Stone the more I like her too.
I thought she was excellent in this movie and I loved her character as well.
It had a nice twist that was unexpected.
Grown up movie as opposed to Idiot Brother. Although I love Paul Rudd.
We have been watching a lot of TV of late due to well, being broke.
(Hence why 2012 has got to be better.)

The other interesting thing I saw on television was on Rock Center with Brian Williams.
This young man of 23 in Australia was in a coma and his finance read online about how Ambien, the sleeping aid, had helped some people come out of a coma.
She begged for this medication and his doctors and nurses all told her no.
She told another one of the doctors that her finance was moaning at night etc and needed sleep so they gave it to him. It worked! The first dose she gave him for a week and nothing happened.
Then she doubled the dose and he awoke. He just opened his eyes and began to speak.
He has had several strokes so he also has that impairment along with the coma but it was simply amazing to me to watch.
Sadly it only lasts about an hour which is so heartbreaking.
He gets the medication 4 times a day right now.
She is doing this on her own because no doctor would support this.
So dosage wise she is just guessing.
They are now doing clinical trials here in the US to see if the drug can be approved for this use.
One of the things that I found interesting, scary and sad was that when the family was told by the doctors that he was in a vegetative state and to just allow him to die he heard it all.
He said he wanted to shout, "I'm still here, I'm still here"
Wow is all I can say. This would be a wonderful discovery if it happens.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about this since I saw it.
BTW, I really like this show. It's not celebrity driven.
Just news you don't see, stories like this. So far so good.

In other random items.....
I had a new follower leave me a comment and I went to her blog to read her.
However blogger says I am not invited to view her blog.
She now follows me but I can't read her blog.
So Kath, if you are reading this may I read your blog?
(Mommy Needs Her Sippy Cup is the name of the blog.)

I don't make resolutions. Never have.
But there are a few things I hope we rid ourselves of in 2012
I want to never see the Kardashians or anyone named Kardashian ever again.
I don't care what they do, how many sex tapes they make and how many times they marry. Make them go away in 2012!!
The same can be said about Ole Orange Misogynistic Donald Trump.
If there is justice in the world he will be kidnapped and forced to sit in a room with duck tape on his mouth, his hands tied to prevent his rude ranting texts. The room will have with no mirror to admire himself or any PR firm to boost his ego. Keeping the rat bastards trash talking to a minimum verbally and through his ranting texts. He should not even be relevant. That would please ole Peg. Hell, add Congress to the same fate while we're at it.

My anniversary is Saturday. YIPEE.
So while you are all celebrating the coming of a new year I will be celebrating my anniversary with my Big Man. We got married in a flowered filled gazebo overlooking the ocean in Jamaica on a warm and sunny day December 31st 1993.
That makes 21 years of living together and 18 years of marriage.
It's been a great ride! I look forward to the next 18 years.

See you all next year!
Happy New Year.

The Funnies

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 06:40:58 PST

Rick and I laugh about a lot of things that others don’t find funny.

I guess that is the success of our relationship – a shared warped sense of humor.

Rick called the office from a customers bathroom and asked in a whisper, “Can you hear this?”
I said, “I hear polka music where are you?”
He is laughing that laugh you get in church when you know you can’t laugh.
He whispers, “This guy is alone and playing his accordion and dancing around the room. He is really getting down with his bad self.”
I asked how old he thought this guy was. He thought late 40's maybe early 50's.

That made us laugh harder to think he wasn’t that old.
Seriously everyone we hang with that age prefers AC/DC to polka.
That is my grandmother’s generation.
He whispered, “I went out to the truck to get something and came in and saw him dancing and playing in the living room and he looked up at me and he just smiled and nodded."

I said, “Well he’s comfortable and having fun there is no harm in it you know.”
As I laugh at this picture in my head I tell him, “Have a good day honey!”
Besides as you have all read here - I prefer a little crazy than the women who are naked right?

That got me thinking about another time we laughed and no one thought it was funny.
His Aunt Lucy was visiting her daughter Nancy.
Lucy was having a reaction to her medication while visiting Nancy so an ambulance was called to come get her.

Nancy lives high on the crest of a hill.
Her drive way has quite the slope.
The ambulance team could not get up the hill of their driveway because of the ice and snow.
So they parked down at the bottom and walked up to get Aunt Lucy.
The two paramedics were wheeling Lucy her down the driveway along with Nancy by their side. Nancy slipped on the ice and goes down.
The paramedics instinctively go to grab Nancy and let go of Lucy's wheelchair. (numbnuts)
Aunt Lucy went rolling down the hill…..weeeeeee…her chair actually went around the ambulance and hit the shrubs and went down into a snow drift.
She broke her wrists from putting her hands out to catch herself.

We were listening to this story being told to us by his cousin.
Rick and I began to laugh hysterically. She was appalled at us.
She yelled at us as though we were bad children.
We already knew that Aunt Lucy was fine and that while she did break her wrists she was at home and it was all good. We could just see teeny tiny Aunt Lucy go flying down that hill and for whatever reason making that sharp turn around the ambulance was very funny to us.
To this day we still find it funny.

I had to look away while his cousin was yelling at us because if I saw Rick’s face I knew I would crack up. We were told we were horrible horrible people for laughing at such a thing.
Maybe so, but we thought it was a hoot and her actually saying we were horrible horrible people sent us into convulsions of laughter.

Then there was the time we had to pick out a coffin for his mom.
That was a wild 2 weeks for me. Allow me to set this scene

I lived in Cleveland during this time and was going to visit Rick and my family for the weekend after I got home from a week long business trip. My plan was to touch down at the Cleveland airport Friday night, grab my car and drive directly to Rick’s house first for a Friday night cocktail.

I had a suitcase of jeans, a sweater and another sweatshirt or some such casual thing to wear home on Sunday. I was wearing a black wool skirt, blouse and blazer with heels because I was coming from work.

I got to Rick’s house around 7ish. He opened a bottle of wine and we sat at his table and began to talk about the week and upcoming weekend. I was still in my business clothes when his phone rang. It was the hospital. His mom had gone into the hospital for gall bladder surgery and he had made arrangements to go down there on Sunday for a few days.
She asked him not to come down until she got home. For once he listened to her.
But apparently she had taken a turn for the worse. (she also had leukemia)
The hospital personnel were telling him to come now.
It was a 4 hr trip from where he lived.

He began to throw things in a suitcase as I helped him pack.
He then asked me if I would come with him. He says, it will just be for the weekend.
I said okay. I ran up to my parents and asked my sisters and mom for some clothes.
I only had 1 pair of jeans and a sweater and sweatshirt. I needed more than that.
I got a few sweaters that were at least nicer than a sweatshirt.

Fast forward – his mom passes away. We spent 2 days in the hospital with no sleep at all.
When we finally went to his mom’s home we had to find the things necessary for the funeral.
We found a letter that she had written to Rick about what she wanted to wear and all these specific directions. That was so helpful. We were so thankful she was so anal retentive about everything. It truly made our life easy for this next week. We finally got some sleep but had to be up early to meet the funeral director.

This town only has 1,080 people. Everyone seems to know everyone. I found that weird but it was so helpful during this week.

We got to the funeral directors office and he gave us a book to choose a casket from.
We made a choice and we showed this man our choice when he returned.
He said, “Oh I’m sorry I wasn’t clear. Your mom’s directive was to be cremated.”
We both said in unison, “yes we are aware of her wishes.”
He went on, “Then you can only choose from these 2 pages.” As he turns the pages to the back of this book the caskets looked just like homemade go carts from the 60’s.
He left the room just as Rick and I went into mad hysteria.

Rick could barely get out that these look like wooden soap box derby cars he built in the 60’s.
I knew exactly without him saying a word. That exact thought went through my head.
We could barely talk. We couldn’t for the life of us understand why she had to have this horrible looking casket. We had the money for a nice casket.
We were appalled but couldn’t stop laughing long enough to speak.
We were both crying….literally crying from laughing so hard.
The more I tried to stop the more difficult it became.
It seemed like we had been left alone in this room forever when the director finally came back into the room.

I straightened up in my chair and kept my head down.
Rick was still snickering and asked, “Why must we choose one of these?”
The funeral director told us that was because she requested to be cremated.
Apparently one is cremated in their coffin.
Okay you could have told us it had to be a pine wood box so we weren’t so shocked.

Rick continued to clear his throat.
I knew he was trying not to laugh so I kept looking at my hands in my lap so I didn’t begin to giggle. Rick asked if they would make it look better because this was pathetic looking.
Then the man went on to explain how it is dressed and no one would know the difference etc. Someone came in the room at that moment and he excused himself and left.
That was all we needed. We laughed our asses off. We couldn’t stop.
Rick was making comments that were so funny yet most would consider offensive, inappropriate but so freakin' funny.
I got up and tried to walk across the room.
Apparently I thought that would help. It did not!
Rick said, “God I hope they don’t put wheels on this or they’ll think she’s driving straight to heaven or hell.”
That did it, I peed my pants a little.

I know this was all from pure exhaustion and stress.
We had been up for days and I am still wearing the same damn clothes.
Who knows, maybe we are just awful people but this was so funny to us at the time.

I was in this little town for over a week.
I was glad I wore a black wool skirt that day to work because I could wear different tops and be appropriate for the funeral and the events that proceeded. But I needed panties.
Rick said he would take me to the store. It was a General Store. No kidding. A real throw back general store. I felt like I was on Little House on the Prairie. On the right side of the store were guns and ammo and on the left were clothes. All of the panties were big ole cotton granny panties. I picked up a pair and that got Rick and I laughing our asses off again. I really didn’t want to pay money for these but I didn’t want to keep washing my underwear out in the sink either.

So I buy myself some granny panties.
They came in handy - you can wash and wax the car with them.
You know like a mitt.

Holiday Venting

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 13:21:00 PST

I have a sister that gets on my last nerve.

And then I feel guilty about it.

I have written about her before.
(It starts here - check it out for those who are new it will help a great deal)

She has always been a drama queen.
Once as a small child when our mom grabbed her arm she said it was broken and held it against her chest for days. Wouldn’t allow anyone to touch it. She didn't break from her acting either.
It worked, my mother was a mess and took her to the doctors all the while crying.
It wasn’t broken. But she got all the attention and everyone was talking about her.
She got what she wanted. She wanted to make my mother feel badly for disciplining her.
And my mom sure did. Never touched her again. We were all leaving but my sister pulled away from my mom as we were leaving and having a typical bratty child’s hissy fit.
My mother held her arm, not in an abusive way just held her, she pulled away since she was ignoring my mother. Should a mom have done that? In today’s world absolutely not. I don't see anything wrong but today touching your child is wrong. It wasn’t abuse by any means.
It’s a pattern of playing a victim when she was wronged or wanted attention that she has carried through her life at age 52.

As Dr. Phil would say, “how’s that workin’ for ya?”
Apparently it’s working quite well for her because she continues to do it.
But like the fable The Boy Who Cried Wolf, you can never believe her.
You feel you should, but you just can’t and one day I will need to and I fear that I won’t.

I feel guilty all the time with her and get sucked into what she wants.
Then I get mad at myself for being sucked in and so gullible.
It helps a great deal to be living in another state.
She is an angry woman and she is a glass ½ empty type of person.
We couldn’t be more different. And that too has been an issue.

This sister in school was into playing sports. I was a cheerleader.
She hated school and academically she just got by. She never studied and it showed.
She’s not dumb by any means she just didn’t want to put forth the effort.
I loved school and studied and did well. I am a typical first born. I wanted to do well.
I wanted to please everyone. She made fun of me because I read in the summer.
That makes me giggle because it was as though if there was no school you weren’t allowed to open a book. She wanted to hang with my father and read blue prints in his office or watch him do plumbing. I would hang out with my mom at the library or while she was baking.
She never wanted to wear a dress. I was fru-fru girl all the way. See? We were different.
But it didn’t have to be a bad thing.
I am different from a lot of my friends but that just makes it all interesting.
She just didn’t make it easy, on any level.

As a child at the dinner table we would talk about what happened that day with the 4 of us.
We would talk about what we did at school and what our parents did that day etc.
But if I had a lot of good things I was not to share at the dinner table because that would upset my sister. One was fine but oh my goodness if I got an A and made cheerleading it was one or the other. So my mom and I would talk about them later.
That sent me the message early on to hide my happiness and successes from my sister.
Because if you do well, she resents it and can make your life a living hell.

As an adult now I wonder why the hell my parents would allow that.
Maybe dealing with this would be necessary for her to grow up.
But with mom dying when I was 13 I can’t ask anyone why.
And heaven knows my father remembers nothing. Literally nothing.

Over the years I have learned to not say what I want to say.
I am not Straight Up No Chaser with her. Because the wrath of her is just too horrific.
It makes my parents upset and she will never ever change so what is the point?
One can’t reason with those that are unreasonable right?

My sanity has to come in the form of venting here. Aren’t ya’ll lucky?

The first Christmas holiday Rick spent with our family he was taken aback by her treatment of me. She would throw out these insults and passive aggressive comments and he’d say, “Why do you let her get away with this shit?”
I just feel it was easier that way.
In the past when I was younger if I said something back she would make a big deal and it could get ugly and my parents would feel terrible and Grandma would be upset. Why do that to everyone? It doesn’t make it any better. It doesn’t make her change her mind.
She tries to upset me. Just let it roll. My step mom will usually thanks me later for keeping my mouth shut and that’s the end of it if there is anything commented at all.
She causes everyone to walk on egg shells around her.

I remember one time she came over to my house while I was in the midst of my divorce.
I was a mess. Her comment to me was, “Its nice to know that not everything is perfect in your little world.” C’mon who says that to someone when they are hurting?
I remember laughing and saying, "Nothing is perfect in anyone’s world. I just don’t bitch about it to everyone and I don’t wear a sour puss like you all the time so everyone knows.”
And I walked out of my own home.
That was the last time I actually said anything to her that was what I was actually thinking.
It was 1982.

Right now she is going through something.
I’d go into detail but it would be long and boring for you.
It's nothing big or anything life threatening.
She is scared and alone. Her husband died 3 years ago during the Christmas holiday.
So this isn’t a good time for her. I have reached out.
It was not met with a warm kind heart but seriously did I think it would be?
Sadly yes. What the hell is wrong with me?
At what point do I just give up? At what point do I just say oh the hell with her.
And when does the guilt go away for thinking that way?
I know, I know I am going straight to hell if there is one.

If she were not my sister I would not like her or spend any time around her.
She is mean. She is jealous. She likes it when people she thinks wronged her or she perceives have everything have bad things happen to them. I don’t care for that thinking and I normally will try to stay away from toxic people like this. But this is family and it’s not always easy to do.

I know she enjoys being a victim because it works for her or she wouldn’t keep doing it.
But what does she get from this? She said in a text to me, “I’m scared and alone and it sucks but that’s my life not yours. Don’t worry about me, nothing works out for me.”

Cue the violins.

Merry Holidays.

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 10:31:48 PST

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah.

I plan to be knee deep in a vat of egg nog for a few days.

I hope you all enjoy your holidays.

This woman sure enjoyed her Christmas Gift!
If any of you got my name in Secret Santa I want Gerard Butler please.

Holiday Flashback Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 06:19:03 PST

Last night while in the land of wrapping paper and ribbon we made the big mistake of going through old Christmas photos and laughing.

Here are a few narcissistic choices.
Rick would not give me permission to put out to the world his picture in his new nehru jacket.
Now he doesn't read me so how would he know? But I'll wait until he forgets about this because that picture must be shared. Purple Nehru no less. It's a friggin' hoot that must be shared with the world. I bet some of you have never even seen a Nehru jacket....let alone a purple one.

This one below is from the tree my first year on the planet.
I find it funny that my mother marked this occasion in the scrap book as Peggy's first Christmas tree and yet her first child isn't in the picture. That for some reason made us laugh. Could have been the wine but even this morning I find that funny. Notice the fire hydrant under the tree.
What the hell could that be for? We never had any pets until after my mom died. So that had us scratching our heads. Any ideas? There is also a large floor ash tray that was apparently a gift on the right side of the photo. That speaks volumes about how our world has changed doesn't it? But to me the bigger question is who the hell wants an ash tray for a gift? Apparently my parents who were both big smokers as were most of the people in our extended family.

Okay this one Rick thinks is great because I was 11 or 12. I already had cleavage.
He says I would have been popular at his school. The Idiot.
I remember this photo being taken because if you look at the head board there is a light.
I so wanted this light for Christmas. And good ole Santa brought it to me even after my parents insisted this was a fire hazard. HUH? A light bulb?
I thought this was the coolest thing at the time.
It clipped onto your headboard so you could read in bed.
I loved to read in bed then, now as an old lady if I do that I just fall asleep.
But I didn't just want my picture taken with this I wanted my picture taken with this in bed! Note my sister who is fast asleep.

Now this next tree was my first holiday as a married gal. Here are the 70's people.
Because this was my first tree we didn't have many ornaments.
Most of the ornaments on this tree I made.
They were fabric and stuffed and sewn and hung from our funny tree.
I remember thinking it was so sad so my then husband decided that candy canes would work.
He was right. It filled in the tree and we could afford candy canes.
I hate tinsel but apparently then I didn't mind it.
Note the latch hook rug on the wall that I so proudly made.
The paneling too - oh the 70's were an ugly era huh?
There is a bowling bag under the tree for my new husband. Yes, bowling.
The left corner of this pic is a TV. This TV was the biggest deal for us at the time.
It was a Sony. It was expensive but it was our first big purchase as a married couple and that ended up being a bone of contention in the divorce. Funny huh?
You can buy a Sony HD today for less than that little TV.

This last narcissistic photo is sad, very sad.
This was me the evening of decorating the above tree.
We were drinking bourbon egg nog. I took this from my coffee table.
I actually do remember this very well.
I was a damn hot mess! Sadly though, I thought I was rockin' it.
I had on a sweater that was holiday sparkly.
I remember it was a bit scratchy and I loved it!
Oh someone slap me please!!
My eyebrows were plucked into submission.
The Farrah flip backed hair is dreadful.
Thankfully I got braces later in life to fix that snaggle tooth.
Honestly if my family loved me the way they claim to love me, an intervention would have been done here!

Yes, I am putting this ugly out to the world. I was 23 here, almost 24.
Compared to a 23 yr old today I was naive and so obviously lacking in fashion sense.
But it does make for a good laugh so I hope it gives you all a good chuckle this hump day!

Dogs

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 06:54:33 PST

One of the dogs Izzy plays with is Nathan.
Nathan is part Labrador Retreiver and something that jumps like a mexican jumping bean.
Seriously she is part lab and part whippet.
She looks like this photo of a lab/whippet mix I found online.

Nathan's face is all Lab.
Her body is more like a whippet.

Nathan lives 14 doors away and if he has been outside Izzy's nose knows.
She walks out our front door and her nose goes in the air and she starts sniffing and her tail is wagging like crazy and off we go.
She goes straight up to Nathan's door and looks in the sidelights to find him.
They play a couple nights a week and both sets of owners love it because it wears them out.

Yesterday as Rick was walking Izzy after work he ran into Nathan's owner getting out of his car. Rick said, "If you're not too busy want to grab Nathan and head down to the big park with Izzy and I for some fetch?" Nathan's owner welled up with tears and Rick thought, Oh God something happened to the dog.

Nathan's owner said, "We just brought Nathan back to the rescue where we got him yesterday"
Rick said he was in total shock and wanted to scream at him, WHY?
Nathan's owner went on that his hours changed at work and so did his wife's hours and they didn't want to leave him alone all that time.
He was now full on crying and said, "Rick I just can't talk right now" and went inside his house.

When Rick came home and told me this story I was shocked and pissed. Who does this?
They got the dog over 1 1/2 years ago. I am thinking may be closer to 2 yrs now.
Poor Nathan is dropped off and now wondering if his human parents are coming back to get him.
I don't think for a second this was work related.
Besides he was home getting out of his car the same time.
I saw him leave for work the morning before at the same time when I was walking Iz.
The wife is an accountant. It's not tax time and besides they had Nathan last year at tax time. Something was fishy with this story. Here is what I believed really happened.

Nathan's owner loves dogs. He really wanted a labrador. When we got Izzy he fell in love with her. He always would stop and kneel down when he saw her to play and pet her.
He offered to pet sit etc. He was over the moon for Iz.
He told us his wife was afraid of dogs and really didn't like them but he so wanted another dog. (he had one in his first marriage)
One day when Izzy and I were outside at the small park area across the street from their house he asked if he and his wife could come over and have his wife meet Izzy.

I had Izzy sit and his wife came over and timidly pet her.
Slowly but surely she actually would play with Izzy over time.
When we first saw her she would get off the sidewalk and a few months later she is coming towards us and she is hugging Izzy. Nathan's human dad thanked Rick and I one day with helping his wife actually make a complete turn around and enjoy Izzy.

But like a proud mom I have to say that Izzy isn't a hyper dog.
We had nothing to do with this. She is this way by nature.
Izzy has never jumped on anyone.
Izzy is mellow and different. So when he told us he convinced her that getting a dog like Izzy would be fun I cringed a bit.

Every time we saw Nathan and his owner she had nothing to do with the dog.
One afternoon she and I were at the park area together. She couldn't control the dog.
Nathan is a jumpy hyper thing and she was being so mean to him. That wasn't helping the situation. She wasn't able to work with his nature. She asked me how we get Izzy not to do this.
I said it wasn't so much us as it just is part dog and who she is plus the training.

Her cell rang a bit later and I took the dogs and let them both off lease to run.
Her dog needs to run! It's like part kangaroo and part race horse. Wild energy.
These two wore themselves out and between the 2 of them I had 1 retreiver.
I throw the stick into the woods then Izzy and Nathan run - Izzy finds it, brings it 1/2 way and drops it. Then Nathan brings it to me. It was a hoot.
Nathan's female owner and I talked while I threw sticks.
When they were tired they came out and laid on the grass panting and just laying around.
That was my sign to go home. I had a tired dog.

We walked home together. That was about 3 weeks ago.
To find out they got rid of the dog breaks my heart.
I don't believe for a new york minute this has anything to do with the hours.
They make beaucoup bucks. They had options.
They could pay $15 for a 45 minute dog walker around here.
They could fork out $30 1 full day of doggy day care (or less if you buy a package)
There are so many alternatives so Nathan isn't alone every day.
Hell if they just told us this I would be willing to walk Nathan with Izzy on my hour lunch break. We always have a good long lunch play time. One doesn't get rid of your family member without trying something first. They didn't try anything period. That is where the story breaks down.

So last night when Rick was telling me this about their hours. I called bullshit.
This had to do with the wife not liking the dog. Not being able to handle the dog.
Not really wanting a dog. And that's okay but then don't commit to a dog.
Now that poor dog who has been with them since he was 4 months old is sitting in a shelter wondering why he was left there.

I hope some family that has the time and energy and space for this dog finds him.
Because he really is a good and beautiful dog.

Christmas Lights

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 06:24:15 PST

I walk my dog a lot. She's a big dog and needs to get a lot of exercise.
I don't have grass anywhere at this house just a patio because I live in a townhouse.
So I walk and walk and walk. And when Rick gets home it's his turn to walk and walk and walk.
So when the vet told us that Izzy looked like she got a lot of exercise and how great it was to see we actually felt good about it - for a moment. But only for a moment.

When Izzy goes to doggy day care that is our time to NOT WALK.
Seriously we don't even walk to the mail box. We are utterly lazy.
Oh I wash the floors because they can then be clean for a few hours until the little hairy beast is home. Other than house work type things I do nothing that pertains to walking around my neighborhood until yesterday.

Rick and I made peppermint bark together on Saturday.

It's yummy. It's made with white chocolate but this year I added a layer of dark chocolate.
What the hell took me so long to do that? My was that damn good.
We broke pieces up and put them in these Santa bags and tied them with ribbon and decided to give them to all our doggy friends we have made over the year. People who now invite us in for beers in the summer or a cup of coffee or wine in the winter.

After the last ribbon was tied and curled we loaded our canvas bag with treats and went to deliver. Izzy was at doggy day care mind you.
We were walking down the street when Rick proclaim, "We are lunatics. We don't have the dog and yet we are still walking!"   I laughed and asked, "do you actually want to drive?"
"No I don't want to drive, he said, but don't you think it's pretty funny that our one afternoon of not having to do this we are still doing this and taking the same damn routes?"
Funny? No. Pitiful was more like it.

Everyone was so excited or at least acted that way to get their little bags of goodies and all wanted to know where Izzy was. That was kind of funny. Got some funny emails about how great it was and easy to eat in one sitting. That one made us laugh. Because it wasn't a small amount. So we think they really liked it.

Later that evening when Izzy did need a walk we went out together.
I like looking at all the homes decorated and lit for the holidays.
Even though I don't have a lick of anything out front this year I like looking at everyone elses work. But a phenomenon I found was that there were seals with balls on their noses in about 1/3 of the yards. Since when has a seal become a symbol of Christmas? That was odd to me.
Rick kept saying, "You've heard of Christmas Seals right Margaret?"
I tried to ignore his stupid "joke" Do they even have Christmas and/or Easter Seals anymore?
He kept saying, "C'mon that was funny."
No Rick it wasn't funny, it was lame.

We saw some of the ridiculous, some pretty and some that made us scratch our heads.
We even saw one that was religious. Only one.
I believe when this holiday started it was about that nativity scene so we talked about how it went from that to seals with balls balancing on it's nose.
We walked up to this house below and I said that tree was really decorated well.
The star on top, the long thick flowing ribbon and the ornaments were huge!
I mentioned that we should have brought a camera and then we remember that Rick has his phone. I could have gotten some seals for you all.
But here is the tree. The picture really doesn't do it justice. I actually went into their yard because I wanted to see if they decorated it that elaborately all the way around.
Shh....don't tell - they didn't do the back of the tree.

Our neighbors right next door put their decorations up the day after Thanksgiving.
We pulled up in front of our home after being at the lake house for the week.
Rick and I saw what we now call the "Griswold's" house.
This is their first home together and she is going all out.
My first thought was, Oh great we live next to one of those.
But I then realized she probably thinks the same of me, being a scrooge and having nothing.
That brings me to this little ditty that I love.
Did you all see this on the news? I love this guys idea.
It made me laugh. The DITTO house.

I have to go eat a piece of peppermint bark now.
Bring on the holiday elastic waist pants.

I Love Elmo!

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 10:02:32 PST

I know it's strange to hear a grown woman with no children say she loves Elmo.
I know how bad that sounds. I get it.
But I really do love Elmo.

There is something about that little red character that just makes me smile.
I can be in the most foul ass mood and I hear the Elmo voice or giggle and it makes me smile.
Hell when I hear the music to Elmo's world I smile. I know, I know, I'm certifiable.
You would think it would annoy the hell out of me but nope just the opposite.

I have never been into puppets. Ever.
Although I do admit I loved Mr. Moose on Captain Kangaroo.
A show which I know most of you don't know because you are too young.
But just puppets I never had an interest really.

I didn't get to watch Sesame Street as a kid.
I was over the age group to watch it by the time the show was on television.
Although I will admit here to the world that at that time in my life my boyfriend and I would get high and watch it with my sister who is 17 years younger than me.
Bad babysitter!
Hey it was 1974 don't judge me, you've seen that 70's show.
But let me tell you The Count and Bert and Ernie were pretty damn funny to me stoned.

Having no children you probably wonder how the hell I found out about Elmo.
My nieces did that for me. I would watch it with them when they were small.
No, I wasn't getting stoned then but I did find that I very much enjoyed this character Elmo.

Being Elmo is now a documentary and I will be one that will line up to see it.
I find it fascinating that this 51 year old man is so good at being an innocent 3 year old.

Jobs

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 16:58:30 PST

As I have lamented here a lot this past year business has been slower.
So I thought a part time job would be a good idea.
Starbucks said yes, then no when a new manager came in before my start date.
I thought I'd try a few others.
Job not careers, a job and part time.
So I dusted off the resume.

I found a lot of push back with regards to my background.
I was asked why I wanted to "do this" when I had "that" kind of job before.
I learned how to answer that quickly and it seemed to appease most.
But honestly I hated being asked that question.
They all seemed to imply that something was wrong with me because I just wanted the job behind the counter at the local wine store or to be a barista. What is wrong with any of these jobs? I have a full time job, looking for a supplement to work within my hours. And even if I didn't what the hell are they saying? Any job is worthy and one should never look their nose down at a job. Has Dirty Jobs taught us nothing? Do you want to do it? Maybe not then be damn thankful there is someone to do it to make your life better!

I applied at most companies in my planned community.
Easy to leave work so I didn't have to miss a lot of work.
And it also would be easier to get there without horrendous traffic.
I applied at the local WineSyles. It is a wine store if you are unfamiliar.
I live at this store so why not get paid to be there.
Yes, I realized I wouldn't be able to drink on the job but discounts in wine ain't a bad thing to support my habit either. However they only needed a floater. I was told that the days would vary and it would always be last minute. I actually wanted to know when I was working and I didn't think that would work for me. Besides I wanted at least 20 hours a week. She couldn't promise set hours for me. Damn!

I applied at the new Hallmark store. Again thinking that I spend enough time there why not get paid to be there. But apparently they had all the old people they needed. Seriously everyone in there was white haired. I probably could stop coloring my hair! I could wear comfortable shoes!
These were benefits that have nothing to do with health care but I liked 'em none the less.

Some of the businesses in the development are restaurants, grocery stores, banks, spas, hair salons, home depot and kid centric type businesses.
I crossed off the kid centric immediately.I would end up spending all my money at the wine store if I worked there after putting in a full day and then go to work with children...itsy bitsy children not 7 yrs olds. (sorry moms)

Banks aren't open in the evenings and weekends so that was checked off the list.
Grocery stores apparently have more than enough employees so that too was checked off.
I am not a hair dresser so check.
I am not a nail tech, masseuse or a cook/chef so those were checked off.
I went to a restaurant for a waitress job and he laughed at me. I was mortified and left.
(no it wasn't Hooters!) I've been a waitress a bunch of times, his loss I was great!
So I ventured over to Home Depot. As long as I didn't work in lumber I'd be fine.
I go there even more than the wine store so what the hell.
They called me.
I had a phone interview first in November.

I was called by a young man from the headquarters in Atlanta first.
He told me he would have a series of questions for me.
Easy enough one would think. He was very combative and I thought that was a strange attitude to take with me but what the hell I went with the flow.
I kept thinking that Rick was in HR and did phone interviews a great deal.
I know he would never act like this.
He may in Costco, but never with an interviewee.

This young man from Home Depot asked me 3 times in a very snarky combative tone,
"What makes you think YOU can provide customer service?"
"What makes you think YOU can provide customer service better than most?"
"What makes you think YOU can do a good job at providing customer service?"

Now I don't know why he asked me this 3 times and in 3 ways in a row.
Perhaps he thought I was so old I didn't remember answering it the first time.
Maybe he thought I would give a different answer.
The first time he asked he was down right mean.
I wish you could hear me say this to you as he said it to me. Trust me, it was combative!
The 3rd time he asked me this I answered him again and then said, "Did you ask me that already or did I misunderstand the question?" and he replied "and I'll ask you again.""
Oh my goodness. I did not get a good feeling here. I answered and thought I better just shut up and fly right.

Wouldn't you think he'd have said after the 1st question something like "how would you provide customer service or after he gives me an example something like, how would you make this customer happy? That type of thing makes more sense

I never heard from them so I figured they didn't like me after I said that.
Then I got a call from someone on my cell phone. I was in a store so I did not pick it up.
When I got to my car I listened to my voicemail.
It was from a person we will call Sally to protect the innocent.
Sally said, and I am not paraphrasing here, "hey this is Sally from Home Depot. Call me"
That was it. She said it like I knew her and we were friends.
Odd and unprofessional but okey dokey.

I called Sally back, told her who I was and she was laughing. WTF?
Then she said, "oh sorry someone is doing a dance here in the store. Hey can you come in for an interview on Friday?"
I say I most certainly can.
We agree on a time.

I get to the interview a few minutes early.
I wait 25 minutes for her to show up.
That is 25 minutes from the time of our appointment. NOT 25 minutes from when I got there.
She comes strolling by me and in a singy songy voice says, "I bet you're waiting on me aren't you?"
I smile and nod and she herds me into her office. She never even pretends to be sorry for keeping me waiting. She never apologizes.
I think she is in her late 20's. She keeps looking at her reflection as we walk by these glass doors.
Very pretty, but she knows that.

As we get in her office she then officially states her name to me as an introduction and
I extend my hand and say mine and she ignores me and sits down.
Awkward.
She then explains to me that she will be reading these questions and I am to answer.
Some may be the same as the phone interview and she apologies.
I imagine that I will be asked yet again why I think I can provide customer service to their customers.

She never looks at me. When she does she smirks and reminds me of a mean girl in high school.
You've seen the movies, you know the type.
She is snarky and it always seems like she is having her own private jokes here.
It was so damn odd.
I answer my questions as best I could.
She then says to me out of the blue that there are lot of older employees here.
Gee that was random. So I am assuming she thinks I am old and she's telling me this so I will feel like I will fit in. Who the hell knows why this random item came up. It's an HR nightmare so that was odd to me but this whole thing is like it's on Candid Camera the way she is behaving.

She asked me if I had any questions. I had a few. As I started to ask she went into this thing that she always asks that but no one ever does, "I hope I can answer them" and she giggles and flips back her hair. This woman was so interesting to observe. I would have a field day with this if I didn't have to work FOR her. With her would be fine. I know her kind and I find them so interesting.
I asked my questions. She was able to answer them and that was that.
I went home.

I told Rick about this interview. He said he wasn't surprised because when he was in HR he had a friend who went to work at their headquarters in Atlanta for awhile. That friend was also in HR and they shared some stories apparently. It was a cluster and off he went about some stories of the HR department that he had heard.

I also told him that Sally seemed to be a snotty egotistical brat.
She is passive aggressive nice, not nice for real.
Sally also made comments about employees there that I thought were inappropriate to tell a perspective employee. I just think working for this woman would be a nightmare.
I was actually praying I wouldn't get the job. But then feeling guilty about it.

She told me a decision would be made by the weekend. She also said that I would hear from her no later than Sunday but ONLY if I got the job.
The weekend came and went and no call. Whew.
I didn't have to worry about that now.

I was with Izzy down at the park when one of her favorite neighborhood playmates arrived.
While both dogs were off leash and playing I was talking to the dog's owner.
I knew he had taken a part time job at the Home Depot in the development.
I asked him how he liked it. He told me he was quitting and went off on a tirade about this woman and about the issues at the store etc. It was a nightmare.
Everything I thought would be an issue at this store if offered a job he was now telling me.
This man is so even keeled, mellow and patient. So I knew it would drive me crazy too and probably sooner than it did him since I am neither mellow or even keeled.

I went home and told Rick this. He just said to me that it was a good thing they didn't call me then isn't it? Besides the pay was much lower than Starbucks or Winestyles etc. I would not have made enough money compared to the money that would be lost due to me having to leave the office at 3p-4p daily. Rick felt it would hurt us more than help us. He was telling me all along this was a waste of time if it wasn't going to affect our bottom line. So here I was thinking I was saved.

But just when you think it all worked out for the best- BAM.
The Mean Girl calls to offer me the job.
Probably to take over the dog owner's position since he was quitting.
(it was for the same department, appliances)
She left me a voicemail thankfully. That gave me time to discuss this with Rick again.
To be sure I was doing the right thing. He told me I was and repeated all the reasons why.

I called her back and I lied.
I said, "Sally I want to thank you for this opportunity. However I have accepted another offer. I want to thank you for your time and....
She cut me off and said, "Whatever" and hung up.

Something tells me even though I need a job not taking this was the right thing to do for me.
And I am thankful I can still make that choice.

Early Christmas Toys

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 06:59:33 PST

I saw this young girl riding this bike everywhere around the neighborhood while walking Izzy.
I thought I would catch a quick photo from across the street with my phone.
Her father was always walking behind her.
About the 3rd time I saw them I said, "Looks like Christmas came a bit early!"
He nodded and said, "Oh it sure did.... Her grandparents." as he rolled his eyes.
The 5th or 6th time I saw him he said he was hoping the battery would die soon.

It's a cool toy so I get why she won't stop riding it. I also understand why the father has to walk behind her and how annoying that would be after awhile. I am guessing she's about 5 yrs old.
It's a pretty cool gift and I am sure she'll be remembering this one for years to come.

What was your favorite Christmas gift in your lifetime thus far?
I was trying to think what my favorite Christmas gift was in my life.
I can remember the worst one but not my favorite.
I am scared what that might say about me. Let the analyzing begin.

My father got me a small black and white TV when I was 13.
I know it sounds like that is a really nice gift. He got it on Xmas eve.
It was not even wrapped. My mom had just died 2 1/2 months before.
I wasn't thrilled at the time. I was in fact mad at him.
My sister got a bike - again not wrapped or a bow. It was weird.
I loved having the TV in my room but it was such a horrible Christmas and the way he just gave it to me I remember it all so vividly.
Again can't remember where I leave any given thing on any given day but this I remember.

Do you remember your favorite Christmas gift ever?

Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 05:41:14 PST

How is that for a damn clever blog post title?

Here are a few things that happened to me this weekend.

Remember ole Sean from Verizon? Mr. Cranky Pants himself?
Well he called on Saturday to be sure everything was still working fine and we were happy with everything. I did not get the phone damn it. It went to voicemail.
I put it on speaker to let Rick revel in this message.
Seriously you could have knocked us over with a feather!!
What a different person!
Rick said it was probably our Christmas gift from Verizon and a true holiday miracle.

Rick had to measure this man's fiberglass shower pan for an inlay on Saturday.
It was the only day this man could be there.
Because the estimate would only take about 10-15 minutes and he would be done for the day I suggested I go with him. It was a condo in Arlington/Ballston it is close to a store we needed to go to in near by Falls Church.

I don't like to shop when it isn't the holidays.
So to shop with tons of people being rude and the traffic being horrific I am not good with any of that. I wanted company to keep me calm. Only he can do that.
And for some crazy reason I keep him in check as well so we had to do this  'fun' stuff together.

We both love Penzeys so we started there.
We left Arlington and made a quick trip over to Falls Church to one of our favorite stores.
I so wish there was a Penzey's store closer to me.
This is the only store front in Northern VA so I schlep over to the store once in awhile.
If you don't know Penzeys, I highly recommend you at least buy something online.
Now of course if you don't cook or bake this is not a fun store for you.
But my hubby loves to grill and cook so he loves this place as well as I do.
I bought a grill kit for Rick's daughters boyfriend. We have learned he loves to grill and I thought this would be a nice gift for him. After we bought that we had to get some things for ourselves. Pitiful how much money we can spend there!
Rick is as dangerous in Penzeys as he is in the meat department of Costco.

We left there with a few dollars remaining and ventured to Costco on a Saturday during the holiday season.   As we headed to Costco I said, "Okay it's going to be nuts, people pushing, shoving because it's Christmas and we all know how nice people are at this time of year. Are you sure you are up for this?" We still had to go to Bed Bath and Beyond for his daughter's gift. Rick laughed. He is never ready for this but he promised to be nice and to let it all roll off his back. I begged him not to tell people their children were misbehaving, or they were rude, to just smile and I'll buy him a drink when we leave. He said, "Is there a bar in BBandBeyond that I didn't know about?"  Okay small technicality.

For some reason that made him laugh. He said he would be fine. I wasn't so sure.
I reminded him of the last trip together at Costco on a Saturday. (he yelled at a pregnant woman who cut off and flipped off an old man and she had kids with her.)
He promised me he would not do that again no matter how nasty someone was.
I didn't believe that he wouldn't try to be the polite police again but I pretended I did.

He did behave. He won't be getting coal in his stocking this year!
He was in good spirits through it all.
He said he "had to" make fun of the large woman in velour sweat pants that said juicy on them while she was stuffing her face with food from the corner vendors.
He claims anyone with words on their big butt is asking for it. I am the only person who hears these things thankfully and to me he is funny but it's not so nice non the less.
He kept saying, "Juicy on that ass was all kinds of wrong."
Rick asked me, "Wouldn't you want your ass to be dry?" Which made me laugh again.

He continued on his good behavior even when we were behind this man while attempting to get dog food.  The man was blocking traffic and starring into space looking so very confused He would rock back and forth in an odd way. This was a much older man. We stood there patiently for awhile. Rick suddenly turned to me and whispered, "You know Margaret he's wearing his wife's lacy red panties right now. He's got a terrible wedgy. He's moving like that to get it out while in public."

Now that isn't even funny but while you are standing in Costco for some reason that just cracked me up. It helped us to survive the time in there so that is all that matters.
We made it out with no bruises, no words to anyone other than Happy Holidays.

See there are holiday miracles!