I LOVE YOU MOTHER

A Mother’s Love

2011-03-06T00:40:00.000-08:00

The term “mother” is a description of one who is more than merely a parent.

In fact, there is a common myth among women that says “having children makes one a mother.” This notion is as silly as believing that having a piano makes one a musician. That’s because it takes a special kind of woman to be what the Bible defines as a mother.

The biblical word translated “mother” is the Hebrew word “AME” (pronounced “ah-may”), and means, “the bond of the family.” “The word also signifies a force that strengthens and holds things together.”

Though we don’t wish to lessen the importance of the father’s role in the family, I think we must confess today that mom is really the glue that holds the family together.

Though we are living in a culture where we see mothers not acting motherly, when it comes to abandoning the family, the man still holds the record. Were you raised or are currently being raised by your mother?

But there is something about a mother’s love.

• It is the love that causes a graduate to look in a crowd of hundreds or thousands for the face of his or her mother.

• It is the love that causes an athlete on national television to say to the camera, “Hi Mom!”

• It is the love that makes a crying baby hush when he hears Mama’s voice.

Some of our most famous American leaders recognized a mother’s love in their lives:

• George Washington said, “My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.”

• President John Quincy Adams once said, “All that I am my mother made me.”

• William McKinley said of his mother, “By the blessings of heaven I mean to live and die and please God, in the faith of my mother.”

• President Abraham Lincoln believed, “All that I am or hope to be I owe to my angel mother.

• Former president Reagan said, “From my mother I learned the value of prayer, how to have dreams and believe I could make them come true.”

America’s current president, George W. Bush, had the following to say about motherhood:

”I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.”
A Mother’s Love

How to Live With Your Mother As an Adult

2010-10-06T02:49:00.000-07:00

Most children move out of their parents' house once they become adults. There are some situations in which you may need to end up living with your mother again once you are an adult. Perhaps you are put into a financial bind and you need to go back home for some help getting on your feet once again. Or maybe your mother or father is sick and you move in to help them with things around the house and other affairs. Or maybe your mom comes to live with you either to help you out or because she needs some help.

Once you are an adult, living with your mother again can be challenging. You are two grown adults now with separate lives that, while still connected, are also very different from one another. Here are some things you need to know about how to live with your mother as an adult:
*Remember that now that you are an adult, the roles have changed. You do not have to abide by the rules that your mother had for you as a child. However, you should still show your mother respect. She is still your mother, after all.

*Recognize that you are both adults with your own lives and tastes and opinions. As an adult, you will not see your mother the same way you saw her as a child or as a teen. Now that you are living together again, there will be some changes.

*Respect your mother's privacy and needs. Just as you will want her to respect yours, remember that your mother will need her privacy and respect while you are living together.

*Recognize that she is probably used to living her life without her adult child in the home. Now that things have changed, it's time to change the dynamic of the relationship. Try to see your mother as the mature woman that she is and not just through the eyes of a child looking at her mother.

*Keep the lines of communication open. It will be important to talk openly with one another and be open to listening as well. You will need to communicate to be able to live together peacefully and happily.

Now that you have these tips on how to live with your mother as an adult, you can apply them to your life and your situation, no matter how short or how long it might be. If you are faced with the situation of living with your mother once again after you are an adult, then you can make the best of this time together. Family is important and you only have one true mother in your life. Whatever circumstances have brought you under the same roof once more, you can make the best of it.

About the Author:

See "100 Days to Better Article Writing" to find out how you can become a master of article writing today.

Lisa Mason is a freelance writer with a specialty in Internet content and SEO articles and the author of How to Earn a Living Writing for the Internet. She has written thousands of articles, hundreds of ebooks and thousands of website pages and related content in her 10+ years as a professional writer.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_A_Mason

Happiness for mother

2010-08-10T20:36:00.000-07:00

Happiness for mother
Happiness means different thing to different people. Happiness is the overall experience of pleasure and meaning.

The what happy-working-mothers-know definition of happiness is living a life aligned to your values and knowing how to find joy in simple things.

Joy can be simple as your child’s smile or helping an elderly gentlemen across the street or as complex as sealing a particular deal at work, or getting a promotion.

Those are all valid examples and provide a fleeting sense of satisfaction. But happiness, as we define it, as a long term state of mind.

Let’s examine the reality of what motivates working mothers to choose to lead happy lives long term, and how you can learn to achieve such a life, too.

Perspectives on happiness according to the survey:

Flexibility and balance
Being a role model; demonstrating that families can do things differently and still be happy
Being successful at home and at work
Fulfillment as a mother, at work, as a spouse and personally
It is soul searching. Happiness is being satisfied

Happiness for mother

Is Postnatal Depression Linked to Childbirth

2010-06-30T01:25:00.001-07:00

Is Postnatal Depression Linked to Childbirth
Childbirth is an exciting event. Hormone fluctuations during the latter part of pregnancy are brought to a dramatic conclusion following birth and with the beginning are brought to a dramatic conclusion following birth and with the beginning of lactation.

Also, labor is tiring, painful and potentially frightening as well as exciting. Childbirth often involves intervention, for example by caesarean, an epidural to aid a forceps delivery or an episiotomy.

All of these have physical and emotional consequences.

It would be surprising then, if such an experience did not have repercussions However, the traditional research which explores the relationship between post natal depression and birth makes the focus of study the physiology of the event rather than the physical and emotional context.

The experts suggested that the precise definition of the links between motherhood and mental illness is ‘elusive’, which potentially raises doubts about the special and unique relationship. They declare, though that they themselves are convinced of the links- although they are going with their instincts rather than the evidence.
Is Postnatal Depression Linked to Childbirth

A Mother's Love Lasts Forever

2010-05-24T08:03:00.000-07:00

A Mother's Love Lasts Forever
by: Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P.
For most mothers, the love they feel for their children is a strong and powerful bond that will continue throughout their lives. The love a mother feels for her child is the same whether the child was grown in their own body or in their heart, as when a mother adopts a child.

My children are dear to me and I find it hard to see them in pain. I feel like a mother hen watching over her baby chicks. Children are tough in some areas, but always need to know they are loved, wanted and are priceless to us, at any age. Even when our children don't need us any longer to tie their shoestrings or to wipe their noses, they still need to know that we care. Often a child will not feel the impact of their mother's love until they become a parent themselves or their mother is no longer living. Then, the power of a lifetime of love their mother provided sets in.

To love and accept our children, even when they are driving us nuts and their behavior is horrid is most challenging. But the mix of unconditional love and loving limits are the most important duties and obligations a mother can have. Hugs and kisses are a necessity. Love can be expressed in many other ways too, including the discipline and responsibility we give to our children. Eye contact and a simple touch on the shoulder or a love pat on the back mean so much and cost so little. Try today to think of ways you can show your children how much you love and value them.

Here are a few demonstrations of love I have found my children are fond of. You can adapt these suggestions according to the ages of your child.

" Outward expressions of affection for your spouse such as holding hands and warm hugs are good examples of love and security you can give to your children.

" Tuck little thoughtful love notes in their lunches, written on a napkin or notepaper or under their pillow.

" Saying a simple, "I love you!" A smiley face or you're the greatest!

" Ask them to read to you - whatever they want - for 10 minutes.

" Spend time listening - this is sometimes hard with an active lifestyle, but more important than ever. Even 5 minutes can do wonders for a child's self image. Remember good eye contact is one of the keys. Pull yourself away from the computer or desk and sit with them face to face. Mirror their body language, moving forward as they do, or sitting on the floor with them.

" For younger children even up to 10 years old, holding them on your lap for a minute or two might seem silly, but most kids miss the times when they were younger and were just held and comforted.

" With my teenage son, I ask him to sit next to me as we curl up and watch a movie together on the couch. At 6'2," he rolls his eyes, but he likes it. Now, on occasion, he does it from habit, but not in front of friends. Big kids need hugs too.

" Share in their hobby or interest. For example, skateboarding may not be your adventure at 42, but ask them about how skateboards are made. Look at what they can do - kids love to show off to their parents, so watch. Listen for, "Watch this mom!" Put down what you're doing and really watch and praise them for their effort. Encourage them to keep trying. Smile and verbally respond.

" Surprise them by buying their favorite magazine without being asked to. Just put it in their room with a little note - Thought of you today! Love, Mom

" Take time to lie on blankets on the grass at night and look to the sky for shooting stars together. This is one we do as a family each summer and always have fun, looking up and just sharing, telling stories - listening to the crickets and being together. We fall asleep under the stars until it gets so cold that we all run indoors, dragging blankets behind us. These are no more than simple memory makers.

" On occasion we have a "backwards day", where we eat dessert first and then the main course; kids love it when their parents are silly at times.

" My ten-year-old daughter loves it when I unexpectedly put fresh flowers in a vase on her nightstand, a surprise when she goes to bed.

" Let them make their own family photo scrapbook - try color copying some of photos in your photo albums - this way you are not losing valuable photos if they cut them up. Old cards and gift-wrap can make nice backgrounds and borders.

" The best way to let them know you care is to hear it from you. In our family, every day we say, "Did I tell you today that I love you? Well I do and I love you more than all the leaves on the trees or all the minutes you are on the computer." That will prompt them to respond with how they love me more than all the sand pebbles or the raindrops that fell this month. Even the big kids need to hear this. They might act as if they are annoyed, but it is sinking in.

Whichever way you choose to share your feelings remember to do something each day. Experts agree that if a child receives their nurturing inside of the family, they are less inclined to look outside to others that might have other motives. Create a home where love is shown. Any parents, whether rich or poor, can afford this.

These simple and free actions can have a significant influence on our children's daily lives that will last for a lifetime. The cycle of love between you as a mother and your child will be passed on to their children all over again. Stop and enjoy them now. Before you know it, they will be grown and this time will be lost.

About The Author
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. is the founder of http://www.LifetimeAdoption.com. An award-winning author of www.AdoptingOnline.com and www.adoptionstepbystep.com and a radio talk show host of www.letstalkadoption.com with Mardie Caldwell.

Advantages of Breastfeeding

2010-04-28T02:01:00.000-07:00

Advantages of Breastfeeding
Human milk is the best possible food for any infant. Its major ingredient are sugar (lactose), easily digestible (whey and casein) and fat (digestible fatty acids) - all properly balanced to suit your baby.

In addition, there are numerous minerals, vitamins and enzymes that may aid the digestive process.

Formulas can only approximate this combination of nutrients and they cannot provide the enzymes, antibodies and other valuable ingredients of breast milk.

There are many practical reasons to breast feed, or nurse your baby. Human milk is relatively low in cost. You should increase your own caloric intake, but that cost only about one third of what you’d have to spend for formula.

Also, human milk needs no preparation and is instantly available at any time, wherever, you may be.

As an advantage to the nursing mother, breast feeding makes it much easier to get back into shape physically after giving birth, by using up about 500 calories a day and by helping the uterus tighten up and return more quickly to its normal size.

Although the psychological and emotional advantages of breast feeding are less specific, they are just just as compelling for both mother and child.

Nursing provides direct skin to skin contact, which is soothing for your baby and pleasant for you.

The same hormones that’s stimulate milk production may also promote feelings that enhance mothering.

Almost all nursing mothers found that the experience makes them feel more attached and protective toward their babies, and more confident about their own abilities to nurture and care for their children.
Advantages of Breastfeeding

Mom, You Deserve Happiness

2010-03-30T23:34:00.000-07:00

Mom, You Deserve Happiness
Happiness is a right of every working mother every day. We all and should expect to enjoy life, career relationships and our kids.

Whether work for financial necessity, fulfillment or both we all have the choice of being gratified while balancing work and family or allowing ourselves to get caught up in the rat race.

The stresses and strains of everyday pressures – from economics to workplace issues kids’ demands, familial duties and household responsibilities enhance our need for happiness.

They can also block our happiness if we chose to let them.

Nearly 7 out of 10 working mothers said they believe that they can “have it all” as in motherhood and a successful career, according to one study.

Nearly 90 percent of working mothers like working and would want to stay on the job if there were no obstacle to their working full time, part time or in a flextime arrangement.

More than 74 percent of working mothers are satisfied that their works/life balance is always or most or the tine “right.”

Finding the right work/life, isn’t always easy. For many people, finding the right balance and achieving happiness is a question of adjusting your mid set, and rethinking some behaviors.
Mom, You Deserve Happiness

Cultural Influences on the phantasy of the perfect mother

2010-03-04T20:54:00.000-08:00

Cultural Influences on the phantasy of the perfect mother
The idealization of mothering is perhaps partly related to problems we have as small children when we long to be mothers ourselves but are as yet too small.

It often seems to me that people have in general extremely infantile view of mothering: assumptions about it which perhaps fit better with a view of a mother which a two or three year old child might have.

Perhaps it is nor coincidence that this is the age at which boys seem to discover that they cannot have babies themselves.

Our culture may well encourage small boys to deal with this loss – for it is experienced as a loss of a belief, a conviction - by denial.

Many small boy is actively encouraged to despise girls and women, and to deny any desire whatsoever that he should be like her or have what she had – at least the potential for breasts and a womb.

Little girls also have to deal with the discovery that they cannot be a woman yet, and they too may deny their feelings about this.

Where these feeling seem too powerfully destructive, as a girl grows into a women she may be unable to allow herself to have children since this would release the floodgates of longing her denial has been holding back.

For many girls and women their attitude to the male role in child making may also smack of heavy denial; they may attempt to maintain a belief that having babies is something they can do on their own.

This can contributed to difficulties they have with fathers and which fathers have with them.

One of the consequences of denial of infantile feelings about mothers is that the wonderful, omnipotent, ever present kind of mother that the child wanted to be before discovering that it was not possible – yet or ever – remains as a static phantasy, frozen in time, as a result of being suddenly cut off from the free passage of emotions, phantasies and perceptions to and from it.
Cultural Influences on the phantasy of the perfect mother

The Importance of Mothers

2010-02-22T00:48:00.000-08:00

The Importance of Mothers
by: Rexanne Mancini
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role model, caretaker, administer of hugs and Band-Aids? I think we all have in today's climate of "do more, get more, have more."

Many of us work to bring home a paycheck and others work for our sanity. Have you ever wondered if your children were better off with the baby sitter than you?

Scientific studies are beginning to point to the overwhelming value of a mother's love, hugs and support. Nannies, baby-sitters and relatives are terrific.

They just aren't as terrific as Mom.
I have had the best of both worlds, I suspect. I worked a high-powered executive job until my older daughter was two and a half.

At a crossroads in my career, I opted to "get pregnant and stay home for a year." Little did I realize I was about to take a ten-year hiatus from my much-loved life.

I didn't get pregnant right away, but, after having spent a year basking in the glow of being Mom, I couldn't bear giving up the care and nurturing of my daughter to another nanny, no matter how wonderful.

I think it was the best career move of my life.
Ten years later, I am back in the work force and thriving. Yes, I felt bored much of the time. Yes, our family sacrificed the bigger house, fancier cars and vacations some of our peers were enjoying.

But it was a conscious decision to sacrifice for the benefit of our children. We wanted our morals, our ethics and our life lessons to influence our them.

I think moms can work at home, be homemakers or work outside of the home and still be great moms. The most important part of mothering is being there for our children. Maybe your sacrifice is going to work but spending your precious little free time reading your child a bedtime story every night, taking him to the park on Saturdays or chaperoning your daughter's school dance.

What matters is our input, the confidence in our roles as mothers, knowing we are the best person for the role and to understand how valuable we are to society.

Pat yourselves on the backs, moms ... you've accomplished a miracle! There is no greater sacrifice on earth, in my opinion, than making the decision to be a parent. Know how important you are. Know that your children need you to be as solid an individual as you can be. Therein lies your strength as a mother, whether you spend the day at home or in an office. We are all exceptional women in our motherhood.
About the author
Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com – http://www.rexanne.com - Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne’s Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html rexanne@rexanne.com

Post Natal Depression is an Illness or a logical to stress

2010-02-03T09:05:00.000-08:00

Post Natal Depression is an Illness or a logical to stress
What is cause by PND (Post Natal Depression)? Is it a biology of childbirth or is it the stress of labor, breastfeeding and looking after a baby? Characteristic of much traditional research on post natal depression is that it is unproblematically perceived as a psychiatric condition.

Despite a very long years of research there is still a lack of clarity about the similarities and differences between post natal mental illness, depression and psychosis.

Several authors who set out to describe one kind of ‘disorder; are prone to ‘concept slippage’, thereby referring to a broadly located ‘post mortem mental illness’ or psychiatric disorders associated with childrearing’.

Moreover, this conceptual framework is used time an again to embrace ‘condition’ that are not taken to be psychiatric in any practical sense and are not typically referred for psychiatric treatment.

The debate concerning the relationship between puerperal psychosis and other post-partum ‘disorders’ whether they are mutually exclusive or form part of a continuum – has not been resolved either.

Neither has the debate on how far, if at all post natal ‘illnesses’ differ quantitatively from nonpuerperal conditions.

As the expert asserts: ‘Little progress has been made towards an understanding of the aetiology of postpartum psychosis, despite the long standing assumption that it is precipitated by biological factors’.

Researchers interested in PND as a response to childbirths as a life event focus in depression as a reaction to stress and the lack of social support and on the whole tend to be social scientist rather than medically oriented researchers.

However, since the mid 1980s there has been more tolerance among the latter group towards recognizing depression as a rational reaction to stress, thus taking childbirth and other aspects of early motherhood as generally militating against maternal well being.
Post Natal Depression is an Illness or a logical to stress

Happiness is a necessity

2010-01-17T16:34:00.001-08:00

Happiness is a necessity
As a working mother happiness is for the living if chosen. Everyone needs happiness and every one can afford and attain. It’s not a luxury reserved only for the wealthy with time and plenty of support.

Happiness is a responsibility and a choice that each of people makes. It’s a gift but not from someone else; instead it comes from within. As a working mothers they owe that gift to themselves, families and jobs.

Happiness, after all it helps to be better at everything the people do.

Scientific, workplace and behavioral studies support that finding. Happy working mother prove it day in and day out.

By happiness, it doesn’t mean sitting around giggling all day or singing feel good songs. It means happiness that allows to enjoy being most fulfilled self – whether as a mother, lover, wife, coworker, boss or all of the above.

Taking a pill or reading a book doesn’t make someone suddenly happy, nor is happiness a sometime thing.

Happiness starts in the way people, families and work and everyday lives.

It’s a positive choice can make every day, not matter circumstances, and it will make a difference in performance as a mom, in the workplace and as a wife or a partner.
Happiness is a necessity

Composition of Human Milk

2009-12-27T20:05:00.000-08:00

Composition of Human Milk
The composition of human milk continually changes throughout lactation as the child grow and even during any given day or feed.

The many components in human milk – fat, protein, lactose, vitamins, minerals, and so on - are being studied continually.

All have their specific function in ensuring optimum nourishment of the human infant.

Human milk constantly changes to meet the needs of the growing child from the first few days colostrums of mature milk beyond the second year.

The milk is high in immunoglobulin and protein during the first several weeks postpartum, yielding to a relatively dilute state by the first month.

In the later months of lactation, the fat content decreases. From 6 to 12 moths of age, three quarters or more of the infants major nutrient needs can still be met by human milk.

During the second year, the output of human milk is equivalent to at least one-8 oz glass of milk daily. Thus, human milk is still valuable to the toddler’s diet in both quantity and composition.

Protein and fat content are considerably higher at the end of a feed, with four to five times as much fat and one and a half times as much protein than at the beginning.

Nearly one-sixth of the calories are consumed between the 11th and 16th minute. Therefore it is important that no limits be place on the amount of time the baby is at each breast.

Although as much as 80 to 90 percent of the volume can be consumed in the first 4 minutes, when the bay is feeding effectively, the major portion of high fat milk is obtained after that time.

In order for the baby to obtain important fats, proteins, and calories it is recommended that the mother continue to nurse until the baby decides his needs are met and ends the feed.
Composition of Human Milk

Idealizing of mothering: fantasy of the perfect mother

2009-11-19T19:27:00.000-08:00

Idealizing of mothering: fantasy of the perfect mother
One common fantasy which seems to be played out by adults around a new baby is the fantasy that there exists a perfect mother somewhere.

When a girl was looking after her friends, sometimes she felt she was or had to be this prefect mother; sometimes it was located in a grandmother somewhere; sometimes in other women in hospital; sometimes in ‘working class women’ or ‘women in Africa’.

All of these other others were supposed to be able to cope better than the actual mother and by their coping, to leave the mother feeling inadequate by comparison.

Idealizations, often work in this way; some picture held up initially perhaps partly as a means of not losing hope entirely – since of nobody knows what to do with a baby, how will it survive at all? – becomes very quickly persecutory, as the actual state of affairs is compared with the ideal and some blame attached somewhere for the ‘failure’.

The pressure to play out this image of the Perfect Mother seems to be strong.

The idealization of mothering is perhaps partly related to problems we have as a small children when we long to be mothers ourselves but are as yet too small.

It often seems to me that people have in general extremely infantile views of mothering: assumptions about it which perhaps fit better with a view of a mother which a two – or three year old child might have.
Idealizing of mothering: fantasy of the perfect mother

Post Natal Depression

2009-11-01T16:25:00.000-08:00

Post Natal Depression
In popular accounts, the symptoms and causes of post natal depression are routinely taken to be directly related to the physiologic of childbirth, particularly the hormone changes that take place following labor, although sometimes physical exhaustion is acknowledge as playing its part.

These explanations, presented so simply and unproblematically, comprise as substantial, component of the corpus of knowledge on post natal depression, which has taken on a new lease of life within and between the social and clinical sciences over the past twenty years, specifically gathering momentum in the 1990s.

The research literature on post natal depression spans the course of a century, although the emphasis and focus has varied concern with severe psychiatric illness to clinical depression, ‘maternity blues’ and most recently, the impact of maternal depression on the family.

Post natal depression is defined somewhat tautological as depression that occurs during the first twelve months following the childbirth.

The origin of this ‘cut-off’ stems from the work of Marce, a nineteenth century French psychiatrist who drew attention to the view that ‘postpartum illness’ was separate in time and type from other psychiatric disorders.

This view has proved compelling in clinical circles, established in 1982 and continuing to flourish, for the study of motherhood and mental illness.

Within the time span of twelve post natal months, however, there is a relative deficiency in the information about duration and course.

Some evidence suggests post natal depression lasts from six to eight weeks whereas other studies suggest that problems may persist throughout the first year.
Post Natal Depression

Breastfeeding

2009-10-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

Breastfeeding
Despite being a natural progression of life, there still appears to be an enormous lack of awareness of the benefits of breastfeeding today. Often with the combined negativity towards breastfeeding and lack of support, it is common for first time mothers to be dissuaded from persisting with this beneficial practice.

Unfortunately, breastfeeding is not necessarily as instinctive as one would expect it to be. However, the common fallacy that seems to persist that a mother might not have sufficient milk supply is unfounded. Although possibly, it is a very rare occurrence. For such a condition to be a rampant problem would have been evolutionary suicide back in the days where baby formulas did not exist. In most cases, it is usually a lack of support and understanding that prevents a mother from breastfeeding.

Breast milk is produced on demand and the best way to increase milk production is to allow the baby to suckle directly from the breast. It is the baby's suckling action that encourages further milk production. No suckling, no milk. Often, because of the "apparent" lack of milk in the early days of nursing, well-intentioned relatives encourage the new mother to supplement the feeds with formula - just until the milk comes.

Although well-intended, this flawed recommendation often sabotages the new mother's milk supply because it reduces the frequency with which the baby takes the breast. Since breast milk is produced on demand, the reduced suckling means less milk is produced. This then lends itself to the fallacy that the new mother "doesn't have milk".

In the first two days after delivery, the breast does not produce milk. It produces a substance called colostrum. Colostrum is rich in all the necessary nutrients required by a newborn and is very easy to digest. It offers protective antibodies for the newborn and also helps prevent jaundice.

A common concern among parents during this early stage is that the baby may not have enough to eat. However, we should be mindful that the size of a newborn's stomach is about the size of a grape. It is important for the baby to have frequent feeds during the early days as it sets the stage for normal milk production. Generally, the more often you feed, the better your milk production. By about the third to fifth day (there is a variation among mothers), colostrum will be replaced with regular breast milk.

To encourage breast feeding, it is advisable not to offer the baby any artificial pacifiers for the first six weeks (there is some variation to the timing between sources), therefore, no bottle feeding of any sort. At this time, the baby is also learning how to breast feed. The introduction of pacifiers can cause confusion because the suckling action is different from that of the breast.
Breastfeeding

Motherhood in Early Nineteenth Century

2009-09-19T10:22:00.001-07:00

Motherhood in Early Nineteenth Century
In the early nineteenth century, physicians in the US were not the significant factors in heath care that they are today, they were virtually absent from child care.

Most medical care was the in fact given in the home, it was the mother – not a doctor – who was the principal care giver.

As one of the historian notes: “The home was important in marinating health was well as in treating disease.

In generations unaware of the germ theory and of the nature and accusation of disease generally, the maintenance of health was seen in aggregate – nonspecific – terms.

Every aspect of life demanded scrutiny and control. Diet, exercise, air quality and sleep all could, over time, bring about sickness or preserve health.”

In seeing of her family’s good health, a mother used what she had at hand. Sometimes it was a home medical book written by a physician.

There were many available in this country, often reprints of books published in England, though few of these manuals focused on child care.

Perhaps she had some herbal remedies recommended by her mother or a neighbor. If she lived in an urban area, she could buy drugs suggested an prepared by a pharmacist.

Most conditions were handled at home, as doctors were called only for the very ill.

Among the significant factors affecting women’s maternal roles were demographic shifts in the US population that fostered a different view of motherhood and changed mothering practices.

Just look, for instance, at family size. In 1800, the average number of children born to a white woman surviving to menopause was 7.04. By the turn of the twentieth century this number had dropped to 3.56. By the end of the twentieth century the averages number of children per family was 1.86.

This declined resulted from several interrelated and interacting forces. The United States moved from a primarily agricultural, rural country, at one based on an urban, industrial and service based economy and consequently, children became more expensive.

In the earlier period, children were to the family. In the later period, it was expensive to maintain children in an urban environment, where mandatory education and cultural values them out of the workforce; in economic terms, they cost the family.

The fertility decline also followed from increased availability of effective birth control and from growing numbers of women attaining education and entering the job market.

In the same years, more women remained single and other women married later in life, which meant that individual women spent less time in childrearing.

In addition, with smaller family, girls, and women had less experience with younger siblings before they started their own families.

With different family structures and other changes in the United States over time, many women found themselves raising families in situations quite unlike their mothers’ eras, making the expertise of grandmothers less applicable.
Motherhood in Early Nineteenth Century

Becoming a mother

2009-09-02T02:14:00.000-07:00

Becoming a mother
Motherhood is not a unitary experience, nor is it a simple one. To be a mother demands that a woman takes on a complex identity.

She is still herself but she is also a mother, with the incumbent roles, responsibilities and relationships which this entails.

The idea of becoming a mother has been part of most women’s identities since childhood and although many accept that they did not really know what motherhood was like until they experienced it, the fact of becoming a mother is no surprise in itself.

Why do women become mothers or at least take the option of becoming a mother so seriously? On an individual level, women recognize their biological capacity to have children and through socialization into the female role, come to equate femininity with marriage and motherhood, often seeing women who do not do this as ‘inadequate’.

Motherhood potentially provides girls/women with entry into womanhood.

Many women believe that they can only achieve adult, feminine status through becoming mothers.

One research with teenage mothers supports this view, in that their desire for motherhood as entry to womanhood is not so much a biological desire to become pregnant and nurture a child as an implicit recognition of apparent privilege unavailable to childless women.

This system of beliefs is related to the patriarchal idealization of women as mothers, which is part of women’s subordination.

The romanticisation of motherhood, and the sets of relationships which accompany it, dictated patriarchal power relations. It suits men for women to mother.
Becoming a mother

A Mother’s Love Last Forever

2009-08-09T00:09:00.000-07:00

A Mother’s Love Last Forever
For most mothers, the love they feel for their children is a strong and powerful bond that will continue throughout their lives. The love a mother feels for her child is the same whether the child was grown in their own body or in their heart, as when a mother adopts a child.

My children are dear to me and I find it hard to see them in pain. I feel like a mother hen watching over her baby chicks. Children are tough in some areas, but always need to know they are loved, wanted and are priceless to us, at any age. Even when our children don't need us any longer to tie their shoestrings or to wipe their noses, they still need to know that we care. Often a child will not feel the impact of their mother's love until they become a parent themselves or their mother is no longer living. Then, the power of a lifetime of love their mother provided sets in.

To love and accept our children, even when they are driving us nuts and their behavior is horrid is most challenging. But the mix of unconditional love and loving limits are the most important duties and obligations a mother can have. Hugs and kisses are a necessity. Love can be expressed in many other ways too, including the discipline and responsibility we give to our children. Eye contact and a simple touch on the shoulder or a love pat on the back mean so much and cost so little. Try today to think of ways you can show your children how much you love and value them.

Here are a few demonstrations of love I have found my children are fond of. You can adapt these suggestions according to the ages of your child.

“Outward expressions of affection for your spouse such as holding hands and warm hugs are good examples of love and security you can give to your children.

" Tuck little thoughtful love notes in their lunches, written on a napkin or notepaper or under their pillow.

“Saying a simple, "I love you!" A smiley face or you're the greatest!

“Ask them to read to you - whatever they want - for 10 minutes.

"Spend time listening - this is sometimes hard with an active lifestyle, but more important than ever. Even 5 minutes can do wonders for a child's self image. Remember good eye contact is one of the keys. Pull yourself away from the computer or desk and sit with them face to face. Mirror their body language, moving forward as they do, or sitting on the floor with them.

"For younger children even up to 10 years old, holding them on your lap for a minute or two might seem silly, but most kids miss the times when they were younger and were just held and comforted.

"With my teenage son, I ask him to sit next to me as we curl up and watch a movie together on the couch. At 6'2," he rolls his eyes, but he likes it. Now, on occasion, he does it from habit, but not in front of friends. Big kids need hugs too.

"Share in their hobby or interest. For example, skateboarding may not be your adventure at 42, but ask them about how skateboards are made. Look at what they can do - kids love to show off to their parents, so watch. Listen for, "Watch this mom!" Put down what you're doing and really watch and praise them for their effort. Encourage them to keep trying. Smile and verbally respond.

"Surprise them by buying their favorite magazine without being asked to. Just put it in their room with a little note - Thought of you today! Love, Mom

"Take time to lie on blankets on the grass at night and look to the sky for shooting stars together. This is one we do as a family each summer and always have fun, looking up and just sharing, telling stories - listening to the crickets and being together. We fall asleep under the stars until it gets so cold that we all run indoors, dragging blankets behind us. These are no more than simple memory makers.

"On occasion we have a "backwards day", where we eat dessert first and then the main course; kids love it when their parents are silly at times.

"My ten-year-old daughter loves it when I unexpectedly put fresh flowers in a vase on her nightstand, a surprise when she goes to bed.

"Let them make their own family photo scrapbook - try color copying some of photos in your photo albums - this way you are not losing valuable photos if they cut them up. Old cards and gift-wrap can make nice backgrounds and borders.

"The best way to let them know you care is to hear it from you. In our family, every day we say, "Did I tell you today that I love you? Well I do and I love you more than all the leaves on the trees or all the minutes you are on the computer." That will prompt them to respond with how they love me more than all the sand pebbles or the raindrops that fell this month. Even the big kids need to hear this. They might act as if they are annoyed, but it is sinking in.

Whichever way you choose to share your feelings remember to do something each day. Experts agree that if a child receives their nurturing inside of the family, they are less inclined to look outside to others that might have other motives. Create a home where love is shown. Any parents, whether rich or poor, can afford this.

These simple and free actions can have a significant influence on our children's daily lives that will last for a lifetime. The cycle of love between you as a mother and your child will be passed on to their children all over again. Stop and enjoy them now. Before you know it, they will be grown and this time will be lost.
A Mother’s Love Last Forever
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. is the founder of http://www.LifetimeAdoption.com. An award-winning author of www.AdoptingOnline.com and www.adoptionstepbystep.com and a radio talk show host of www.letstalkadoption.com with Mardie Caldwell.

Can Children Be Spoilt With Too Much Love?

2009-06-26T11:46:00.000-07:00

Can Children Be Spoilt With Too Much Love?
by: Shen-Li Lee
From the moment babies are born, parents often receive warnings from well-intended friends and family members not to carry their babies too often, and not to give in to their crying. From the moment they are born, parents are warned to start training their babies to be "independent" or they will grow up to become clingy, dependent children. Parents who fail to heed this advice risk "spoiling" their children and setting up "bad habits" that will be difficult to break later on.

Many parents worry about spoiling their children and easily fall prey to flawed advice. Instead of heeding their own instincts to pick up their babies when they cry, they try to ignore their babies' needs. Such practices not only damage the relationship between parent and child, but it has a detrimental effect upon the baby's development.

The First Fallacy - Babies Should Not Be Carried Too Often

Firstly, babies need to be carried as much as possible. They need to be touched and held. This need is as important to their growth and development as food, water, a clean diaper and sunlight. This need was evidenced at the end of the Second World War when many infants were left parentless. In order to determine what were the best methods for taking care of orphaned babies, a Swiss doctor traveled around Europe studying the different environments that these babies were raised.

In some parts, he saw babies being cared for in American field hospitals with their pristine conditions. Nurses attended to the babies' basic needs by the clock - they were fed special infant formula and returned immediately after to their stainless steel cots. In other parts, babies were deposited at remote mountain villages where they were cared for in the arms of the village women, surrounded by other children and animals. They drank goat's milk and ate from the communal stock pot. These infants lived in conditions that could hardly have been considered hygienic. Yet the results of the study were surprising - it was found that the children who lived in the villages thrived better than those raised in the scientifically-managed hospitals.

It was concluded that:

* infants need frequent skin-to-skin contact from two or three significant people
* infants need movement of a fairly robust kind, e.g. being carried around, bouncing on a knee, etc.
* infants need eye-contact, smiling, colourful and lively environment, and sounds, such as singing, talking, etc.

Far from needing to be carried less, we should be carrying our babies more!

The Second Fallacy - Crying Babies Are Manipulating Us

Babies cry to communicate their needs to their parents. Without the ability to cry, they lose their ability to articulate their needs. Parents who deliberately ignore a baby's cries are unwittingly teaching their baby that their needs are not important. It creates distrust and gives a child a bleak outlook on life - that no on can be relied upon, not even parents.

One common reason why parents might allow their babies to "cry-it-out" is when they are attempting to "train" their baby to sleep alone. It is common for babies to fight their parents' desire for them to sleep alone. Babies aren't aware of the world the way we are. They are primitive beings with a strong instinct for survival. In the wild, infants who lost their parents are eaten by predators, therefore the instinct to be close to a parent or bigger person is a very normal one.

Babies don't know that they are safe in their cribs and that their parents are just in the next room, so they cry. They aren't trying to manipulate their parents. They are articulating a real need that parents should fulfill.

Changing Relationship as Children Grow Older

Even as babies grow older, they still require the attention, love and physical closeness of their parents. Providing these does not spoil them or make them clingy, dependent children. On the contrary, a strong and secure relationship between parent and child serves to help children become more independent as they grow older. They are less afraid to take steps on their own because they are secure in the knowledge that they have a safe place to return to.

You cannot spoil a child with love, touch and tending to their calls for help. Such responsiveness is imperative to a child's healthy development, however, the manner in which you respond may change as a child grows older and begins to test boundaries - such as crying as a means to get their way. How you respond to a child should be age-appropriate with the understanding of how a child feels. Remember that the process of growing up provides children with lots of challenges and it is important listen openly and to be able to see their situation from their perspective.

As your child grows older and his or her personality begins to develop, you may also find that different approaches work with different children. While there is a need to take into consideration individual differences, it is important to realize that children need appropriate limits that must be adhered to. Such limits provide a sense of safety and security for your child. Remember, it is your duty to set the limits and your child's to test them. By being firm and consistent, yet kind as you enforce the rules, you are teaching your child how to become a responsible member of society. You are also creating a secure environment for your child to grow up in.
About The Author
Shen-Li is a stay-at-home-mum dedicated to the pursuit of excellence in parenting. She has a formal educational background and former work experience in healthcare. If you enjoyed this article, visit her blog Babylicious and follow her as she learns how to raise a happy, confident and successful person.

Today’s parenting

2009-05-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

Today’s parenting
Parenting today is virtually synonymous with worry. We want to ensure that our children are healthy – physically, mentally and emotionally.

In our worry, we keen feel our shortcomings, our inability to know what is best for our children.

When is it right to toilet train? Will early toilet train scar the child psychologically? How can we encourage a fussy child to eat? Should the child be allowed to decide which foods to eat? Should we let our child cry herself to sleep?

We are not alone with our worries. Nor are we without recourse.

Healthcare practitioners, psychologists, and other health professional and social scientists are ready to advise is on how to provide the best parenting possible in today’s world.

Book titles are flooded with titles about motherhood. There are magazines devoted to giving us advice in child rearing as well as numerous columns in newspaper and commentators on radio and television.

Try “parenting” in Google on the internet and you get over 19 million hits; type in “child care” and get over 97 million, with “mothering,” you get about 3 million; with” motherhood,” 10,000,000.

While many of these sites offer suggestions from other parents based on their own experiences, many more sites – professional, personal and commercial – employ the “latest” scientific and medical research findings to validate their claims for solutions to the problems of childrearing.

Scientific and medical advice is the hallmark of contemporary childcare practices. But this “scientific motherhood” is a relatively new phenomenon. For millennia, parents and mothers were believed to know instinctually and with common sense to raise their children, with help of extended family and involved relations serving as role models.

This practice gradually began to change in the mid-nineteenth century and then with the advancements of the twentieth century – the so-called “ century of the child” – this pattern overthrown altogether.

Instinct and tradition in childrearing were replaced by all-important medical and scientific advice. Parents particularly mothers, clearly required the knowledge of experts in order to raise their families healthfully and appropriately, in order to be good mothers.
Today’s parenting

What is Motherhood?

2009-05-02T17:32:00.000-07:00

What is Motherhood?
Perceptions of mothers as powerful and influential and the romanticisation and idealization of the mothering role need to be qualified in the context of women’s everyday experiences.

Motherhood as an institution includes certain responsibilities and duties, but women’s power is limited.

Women’s power n both the public and private/domestic spheres is subject to the rule of men both as individuals and as represented by patriarchy.

Psychologists have traditionally claimed priority for mothers’ power over children, through emphasizing the importance of mother – child relationship and through the debate on mother’s responsibilities to their children.

However, legal and traditional power over women and children I held by men.

Matriarchy (defined as a society with matriarchal government and descent reckoned through female lineage) is not recognized in most societies and is certainly not a significant means of social organization.

Claims form community and anthropological studies that matriarchies prevail in certain traditional subcultures, for examples among black urban American groups or among traditional white working-class communities in British cities, cannot be upheld in terms of true power in contemporary western society.

Expert reviewing anthropological studies of a large number of cultures, argued that women’s roles are always of a lower status to those of men, and this continues to be upheld through the enactment of gendered roles.

In some small, non industrial societies where men have primary responsibilities for aspects of child care, mothering is taken very seriously and given high status which is not the case when women do it.

Most mothers on industrial and non-industrial, urban and rural, societies are oppressed.

They may have particular responsibilities, but not the accompanying right to choose how they mother or whether to mother at all.

The popular perception of maternal influence and power are mythological and the origins of this myth lie within patriarchy.

Its repercussions have had a power psychological effect on relationship between mothers and daughters, and affect expectations of mothering from generation to generation.
What is Motherhood?

The Categories of Mother-Infant Relationships

2009-04-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

The Categories of Mother-Infant Relationships
The basic of a science of relationship must be descriptive, even if description implies selection and if it can never be entirely objective.

Experts said that whether these categories of dimensions do in fact embrace all the dimensions important for understanding the dynamics of relationship is a matter for future research to decide.

The categories describe:

The content of interactions
The diversity of interactions
Qualities of interactions
The relative frequency and patterning of interactions
Reciprocity versus complementary in interactions
Intimacy of interaction
Interpersonal perception in interactions
Commitment in interactions

Quality is described as the specification not only of what the participants were doing together but also how they are doing it.

A mother may pick a baby up roughly or tenderly, bath time may be a mutually enjoyable occasion or a fight.

In general there are four types of data have been used for describing quality in interactions: the intensity (speed, amplitude, etc) of movement, the verbal and non verbal signals accompanying, and the degree of coordination (“meshing”) between the participants.

Here the concepts of “mutually enjoyable” and the degree of coordination between the partners become a basis for developing the concepts of communication and particularly of qualitative mother-infant communication.

In the description of the category of reciprocity versus complementary reciprocal interactions are described as interactions in which the partners do the same thing, either simultaneously or in turn (relationships between peers may approach this condition, according to the author).

Complementary interactions are the ones in which the two partners do different but repeated things (common in hierarchically structured organizations).

Close personal relationships are ones in which there may be complex patterns of reciprocity and complementary with patterns of imbalance.

The path to considering interactions as relationship systems where negotiations between partners is essential has been traced as well as attention is given to meta-communication in relationship.

In fact, in the inter-personal perception category the researcher is concerned with the extend to which each partner in a relationship perceives the other as perceiving him/her as he/she perceives him/herself and perceives the other as close to his/her ideal partner in a relationship of the time specified.

The path has been traced to considering the roles of communication and meta-communication in relationship development.

Communications include all forms of everyday coactions between participants, including sharing, cooperation, conflict, debate, social play and conversation.

Meta-communication is a process in which participants evaluate their own communication, communicating about the way in which they communicate in the present, past and future.
The Categories of Mother-Infant Relationships

Motherhood Experience

2009-03-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

Motherhood Experience
Patterns of fertility and the decision to become a mother have a complicated connection with women’s lives overall.

Better educated, middle class women appear to have ensured greater control over when, if and how many children they have than have those women from less privileged backgrounds.

Further, control over fertility means more scope for education and employment for women, which in turn provides opportunities for independence and autonomy.

Statistics make it clear that more women were divorcing, separating, marrying later or not marrying at all, more frequently than was the case in the 1970s and 1980s and these data are clearly connected to the fact that women’s lives are no longer solely prescribed by their role as mother in the traditionally family.

However, what women do and social beliefs about what women should do are sometimes at odds with each other.

Motherhood and womanhood stand in a complex and contradictory relationship, despite the fact that this relationship appears to be changing.

While motherhood is still central to women’s identity, recent demographic changes to suggest that motherhood alone no longer dictates the patterns of women’s lives, and may not be such a popular choice for women as it once was.

Under patriarchy, however, motherhood has a mythological, mysterious and powerful status.

Only women are granted this status, and it is one which all women have been expected to aspire.

The reality of mother’s lives, however, often fails to match these aspirations. Motherhood is a challenge; although potentially enjoyable, it is also hard work and routinely stressful.

It affects relationships with men and other women, and changes occupational, domestic and sexual arrangement.
Motherhood Experience