Hinchy's Weekly Waffle

Two sides in transition look for confidence building victory

2014-07-08T09:49:00.001-07:00

Billed as the initiation of a new era for England's cricketers, June's Sri Lanka series ended in calamitous and agonising defeat just two deliveries from the safety of a draw. Many had hoped to see an invigorating, aggressive approach from England and their captain, Alastair Cook, akin to the style in which Australia had stream rolled them over the winter. Instead, England slipped into default mode, with defensive fields and one dimensional tactics allowing Sri Lanka to grasp a record breaking series victory (it was their first ever series win in England). In both tests England worked their way into winning positions, only to find Sri Lanka more proactive in the surge for victory. Sri Lankan captain Angelo Matthews lead from the front with a masterful hundred at Headingley. In doing so he left his opposite number Cook excruciatingly exposed as out of form and out of ideas.

Much work is still to be done for England's then. In their next opponents India, England will again have history on their side. The position as pre-series favourites is an uncomfortable one for a side with such little exposure to a winning test match environment. Many of England's new recruits have entered a declining side and are yet to taste test victory. That India are a side in a similar state of transition leaves the series in a tantalising position. Both sides have senior players leading a side in need of new direction, and the injection of some youthful exuberance allows their coaches to mould the side in their own image.

Both Captains are looking to regain that winning feeling

India coach Duncan Fletcher has again displayed his laid back approach to warm up matches. India barely slipped into second gear as they were spanked round Grace Road by Leicestershire before ambling to a meaningless victory over Derbyshire. Given India's previous failings at adapting to English conditions, it is increasingly baffling to see a team sheet filled with names of the entire squad scribbled on both front and back for each warm up game. India could do worse than take note of England's increased focus during warn up games, adopted in the post Fletcher era. How India acclimatise to alien conditions will be a considerable factor in the level of competitiveness of the series. India, as is often the case, have a bucket load of batting talent to call upon. They will look to the likes of Virat Kohli and Cheteshwar Pujara to build totals that will allow their inexperienced seamers to apply some pressure to a creaky looking England batting line-up.

As for England, they must look to the positives from the Sri Lanka series and look to roll over a side that on paper, has little that should strike further fear into a wounded side. That England's winning positions were gained largely from new players should gain the selectors some considerable praise. Gary Ballance, Sam Robson and Mooen Ali have all proven they have the skill and determination to succeed at the highest level. In Liam Plunkett they can now offer some variety in the bowling attack. Should senior players such as the woefully out of touch Cook join the party, England may well have the makings of an exciting XI.

With England continuing their selection policy that includes no frontline spinner, Alistair Cook must now embrace a more aggressive and proactive style of captaincy in order to give his team the edge over similarly one dimensional sides. Brendon McCullum's masterful declaration last week ensured his limited New Zealand side could overcome the West Indies. His spontaneous, experimental captaincy is one the fans of England look enviously on as they glance back at Cook's attrition based, pre-planned approach. Cook is not yet being read his last rites, but failure to collect any victories from the first two test matches, and he will find his doubters becoming increasingly vocal.

Anticipation for the series ahead should be kept to a minimum. We are unlikely to see two cricketing juggernauts at the top of their games battling out five tests of high quality cricket. Both sides are similarly positioned in their evolution, yet to the loosen the shackles placed on them by departing members a more successful era. Embracing a fresh approach to winning test matches may be the key to tipping the balance of this contest. To do so, team Moores/Cook or Fletcher/Dhoni must learn from the current test cricketing trend setters, Australia, and offer the expansive, exciting 'brand' of cricket that their respective fan bases crave.

Same result, different tournament as England crash out of the World Cup 2014

2014-06-24T17:26:00.002-07:00

England entered this year's football World Cup unburdened by the wild expectations we have come to expect prior to major tournaments. Fans and the media alike were more hopeful Roy Hodgson would embrace the raft of youthful exuberance he selected in his squad than harbour any realistic hopes of a tournament victory. Some big game experience could contribute to paving the way to success at future tournaments. Given the tough group in which England were enlisted into, few expected anything other than progression beyond that as a mark of relative achievement. Expectation then, were kept sensibly low. That England will fly home tomorrow having failed to jump the qualifying distance shows just how poor they were during a torrid World Cup week.

England failed to register a single win in the tournament

After some initial encouragement against Italy, England's performance took a dramatic downturn come the arrival of Uruguay. A shell shocked England were out before they could even line-up against Costa Rica, a fixture looked upon previously as the banker that would confirm their place in the second round. Ultimately, it amounted to nothing more than a glorified friendly. England were happy to banish any fears of a first pointless group stage exit for twenty years, with Costa Rica content to play out the draw that would confirm them as surely the most unlikely group winners of this World Cup and many before it.

Picking apart England's campaign, there are countless areas which need addressing for if they wish to show signs of progression come the beginning of Euro qualifications come September. Most pressing of which must come from the futures of several of its senior players. Wayne Rooney has come under some considerable fire during this tournament after a series of laboured performances in the number 10 role. His position in the team must surely now be called into question. Rooney is not, and never will be, David Silva. By far his strongest position is the traditional number 9 role. He must either be given that position as head of a 4-3-3, or consigned to the bench to battle Daniel Sturridge for it. Frank Lampard's token starting berth versus Costa Rica surely came more as one final hurrah than any need for Hodgson to assess his place in future squads. Steven Gerrard, for years an England stalwart, may not be too close behind him. He has yet to confirm his intentions going into Euro 2016, but his continued involvement in and around a squad hoping to further embrace youth could be a vital tool for Hodgson to utilise if and when he requires it. Certainly, Gerrard's performances have left much to be desired during this tournament, and its clear his position as first name on the team sheet is now under serious threat.

Despite England's squad being exposed as woefully inadequate to even record a victory at this summer's tournament, the performances were so poor that Roy Hodgson must shoulder a considerable amount of blame for failing to even challenge for a top two spot. His failure to organise a defence that at times looked all at sea was ruthlessly exploited by the superior forwards possessed by both Italy and Uruguay. Top of Hodgson's to do list must surely be to mould potential youngsters such as Stones, Chambers and Shaw into a more solid base which England can begin their attack from.

Hodgson's tactics have occasionally been exposed as inept when placed in high pressure jobs before. His short stint as Liverpool coach ended sourly after he failed to rouse a top eight squad to even the top half. Hodgson's decision to play Rooney as the number 10 meant he could only fill his midfield with two central players. For all Gerrard and Henderson's endeavours, we were left overrun in central areas by teams who flooded their midfields with technically superior players such as Pirlo and Verrati. Again here then, Hodgson has been found wanting, a spectator to the ever evolving footballing blueprint to success. He was urged by many preceding the tournament to embrace the way of Rodgers at Liverpool and Martinez at Everton. A fast, aggressive, gung ho attitude to football, both in attack and defence. England were left floundering in the age of tiki-taka. Now that has passed the football world by, the tireless counter attacking style now championed by Real Madrid, Liverpool and Atletico Madrid is the path to success. Given the FA has already stepped in to confirm his retention going into Euro 2016 qualification, Hodgson must show genuine steps to break from his prehistoric methods in order to build an squad capable of challenging for major honours.

To do that he needs to increase his trust of younger players to adapt to new methods of play in much the same way he must adapt. Gerrard, Lampard and co have tried and failed to master success at major tournaments with much superior tools at hand. The selection of a group of young, enthusiastic players riddled with flair, agility and skill may seem like a pipe dream a present. We have neither the quality nor quantity of talent available. But England must view this as a watershed moment. For too long they have continued to tread water, failing to learn from previous failings at major tournaments. The FA must also take a look across the continent and finally devise a method increasing English participation in the Premier League, as well as improving coaching at all levels to concentrate more on performance than result. To end what is now almost half a century of hurt, Hodgson must convert the success of Liverpool, Everton and Southampton to the international stage. But to do so, he must shed the shackles of traditional English football philosophy that has done nothing but damage our progression as a footballing nation since 1966.

Agonising Series defeat only worsens England's demise

2014-06-24T15:22:00.001-07:00

England came up just short when attempting to salvage a result from almost certain defeat at Headingley, being dismissed with only one ball of the match remaining. James Anderson failed to emulate his heroics of Cardiff 2009, and with it England's demise from number one test nation to record breaking losers (this was Sri Lanka's first ever series win in England) has hit a new low.

Anderson was dismissed with one ball remaining

Much of the hype preceding the series wished to bill this as the beginning of a new dawn for England. A new (sort of) coach was drafted in, as were several players who had impressed on the county circuit. The visiting Sri Lankans have often been fodder for early season seam friendly pitches in England, and steamrolling them here would be the first step back on the road to retaining the Ashes in 2015. That the end result was something far different suggests England's problems delve much deeper than originally thought when being battered down under. There is no shame in losing to an Aussie side which had regained its swagger and aggression in their own back yeard. Having the fortress of home soil burnt down by a side seldom victorious on these shores is something altogether more alarming. There is little doubt now, England are yet to emerge from the crisis they slipped into over the winter.

The England management can take some heart from what they saw over this short series. England played their way into winning positions in both test matches, it was their inability to hammer the final nail into the Sri Lankan coffin which allowed the opposition to regain a foothold in the match. Indeed, most of these winning positions were attained by some exceptional contributions by members of the emerging era. Gary Ballance's hundred at Lords gave England the sniff of victory they ultimately couldn't take. Sam Robson orchestrated a first innings lead at Lord's which should have far exceeded the paltry 108 it ended at. Liam Plunkett's nine wickets in the match could add a degree of hostility to an attack that was so blatantly exposed as rather meek when witnessing Mitchell Johnson's terrorising spells down under. So, England appear to have unearthed a new opening batsman, a new number three to replace Johnathon Trott, and a little spice to their bowling attack. England's defiant efforts on the final day at Headingley, encapsulated by a dogged hundred from Mooen Ali, also leave encouraging signs that England retain plenty of stomach for the fight.

Despite the mentioned shreds of comfort, England have two major issues surrounding their side, and this series defeat has only served to exacerbate them further. The lack of a specialist spinner was left painfully clear when England's plan A of bouncing out Rangana Hearth in his partnership with Angelo Matthews failed to gain the desired conclusion. For all Mooen Ali's endeavour with bat in hand, his bowling is little better than a second spinner at present. There may only be two weeks until England are back on the pitch again against India, but questions over the balance of the side must be addressed. England must either trust Simon Kerrigan to banish his test debut nightmare and fulfil his potential as the country's best spinner. Or, play safe and select James Tredwell, utilising his one day expertise to tie up one end, much in same vein as Paul Harris did for South Africa for many years.

The current four man pace attack is unsustainable given the flat nature of test wickets in the modern age. England persisted so stubbornly with plan A during the Headingley test that it handed the initiative back to a Sri Lanka side who were on the ropes. Something which captain Cook much take responsibility for. During the Ashes down under he was often helpless in any attempts to derail the juggernaut that was Australia. Given home conditions and a considerably weaker opposition however, and Cook was still left looking painfully bereft of the tactical inspiration which might sway the match back into favour. Couple this with the now undeniable fact that the captancy is affecting his batting (he has now gone 24 innings without a century), and England must seriously consider the alternatives to who leads out the England side when India come to town. Ultimately, the genuine lack of a viable replacement may well see Cook keep his job. Broad is seen as too maverick, Bell not a strong enough character and Prior as not a long term option. Add to this the question marks that would be raised over Cook's place in the side were he to be sacked as captain, and it can be fairly safe to assume Cook will line-up as captain come July 9th.
The anti-climatic ending to England's much discussed evolution has only served to deepen the major flaws that currently surround the team. The much revered 'brand' of aggressive and fearless cricket has been embraced only sporadically during this short series. Unfortunately for England, they have just two short weeks to answer the questions that have now haunted them for six months.

Why UKIP are good for British Politics

2014-06-09T16:31:00.001-07:00

It's not often you find yourself agreeing with Piers Morgan. However, during his recent appearance on the panel of BBC's current affairs debate programme Question Time, his optimistic slant on UKIP's rise in British politics left me in this uncomfortable scenario.

Since the birth of New Labour under Tony Blair, the mandate to rule in parliament has been tossed from Labour to Conservatives with a distinct lack of political evolution during the changeover. Both parties represent broadly the same Neo-Liberal ideology introduced by Thatcher and Reagan in the 1980s. Britain then, is essentially ruled under a one party system. As a result, public disillusionment in politics has only grown stronger, witnessed in the level of support Russell Brand's revolutionist rhetoric was given late last year, and now the rise of BNP-lite, known professionally as the UK Independence Party.

Unlikely to be exactly what Mr Brand was promoting, UKIP have made significant strides in its support over the previous twelve months, a bandwagon that rumbled on to a European election majority over Labour and the Conservatives recently. Far from standing around in bewilderment at the vast number of votes they have stockpiled recently, as several arms of the media and public alike have, their emergence can have positive lasting effects on British politics (albeit indirectly). As any avid defender of free market economics will tell you, competition is healthy. UKIP's rise to prominence challenges the copied and pasted political elite that have offered no improvement in the way British people live for decades, despite increasingly prominent challenges to our society and economy.

It's clear what the attraction to UKIP is for many areas of society. They wish to pursue a libertarian ideology, abolishing tax, public service and state intervention in markets, good news for people who wish to increase and protect a large flow of income. However, it's the public relations work done to capture parts of the working class that is the real driver of UKIP's success. Challenging a controversial issue that strikes an emotional cord with working class people who believe immigration is damaging their job security is one thing. Painting your leader as a man of the people wins the heart of the working class vote. When UKIP spearhead Nigel Farage isn't sharing a joke at his parties expense on a popular panel shows, he is doing what politicians believe working class people do. Suspiciously, the level of Nigel Farage's pints of beer rarely seem to be anything other than full. However, his numerous appearances down the local pub set him apart from what many believe a modern day politician is. Farage is breaking the stereotype of an Eton educated, suit wearing, out of touch politician, trained in the art of deception. It's a tactic that is only further strengthened when leaders of other parties, namely Miliband and Cameron, fail so dramatically at mirroring Farage's everyday man persona.

Not that UKIP are the answer to the problems surrounding British people today. Far from it. UKIP have been exposed on numerous occasions for what they really are, a singly policy party. Given the opportunity to express their views on wider social policy, and countless UKIP representatives have proven their archaic views have no place in modern Britain. View a reel of UKIP members spouting their inappropriate remarks and you're likely to be left wondering what year the video camera was invented, such is the level of comfort certain views would fit into Britain circa 1920. Farage and his party are certainly not fit to be moving his furniture into number 10, nor should pulling out the tape measure for the windows in anticipation of a new set of curtains to christen his new home.

Indeed, it may turn out that UKIP's success in the European elections turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Farage was right when he claimed UKIP had put the cat amongst the pigeons, offering a genuine challenge to politicians who have sat comfortably in parliament for many years. Yet a year is a long time in politics. A year in which Cameron and Miliband have in order to deconstruct the reputations they have as leaders of parties that no longer represent the everyday people of this country. A year to offer the electorate the fresh outlook to politics in Britain it has increasingly craved during its 30 years of gradually increasing economic inequality. Not only has UKIP offered the mainstream parties an opportunity to embrace change, but they can also be an example for other emerging parties to follow. Maybe a genuine return to the left, or the rise of an alternative political ideology could build what UKIP have shown and challenge the entrenched political elite. Capture the publics imagination, and no matter how incompetent your peers may prove you out to be, strides can be made.

And so, we can be thankful to UKIP in at least one regard. When Piers Morgan outlined a couple of weeks ago that UKIP's rise to prominence has created unsettling yet positive competition that the main parties must now challenge or risk losing grip come the next election, he was absolutely right. The level of sheer content shown by the British electorate has driven us into the arms of xenophobic, fear spreading propagandists in the form of the UK Independence party. It's now the job of the established political elite to once again represent us as a nation in order to win back our confidence.

GTA V raises the bar of video game perfection

2013-10-10T09:05:00.001-07:00

I realise this is a somewhat belated review, the release of Grand Theft Auto V occurred several weeks previously, however such is the grand nature of the virtual world created by developers Rockstar, that post game completion, I felt compelled to vocalise my thoughts on what I consider a true milestone in the entertainment industry.

Prior to release levels of expectation for the game were launched into overdrive. Rockstar acted as the teasing mother, dripping information on her daughters birthday present, all the while keeping the final product closely held against her chest, maintaining the surprise for the big day of release. A masterpiece in marketing it was, however Rockstar had now set a stage with which it had to deliver a game of mountainous proportions.

The success of previous GTA titles had only added to the expectation. Rockstar had made a very conscious effort to add realism and a more immersive world in which to interact in with the last instalment, GTA IV. However, in doing so had received a collection of cold shoulders from gamers who felt a sense of downright insanity (an idea since hijacked by Saints Row) had been lost from previous titles that made the franchise so....fun.

Release day arrived. I had not felt such irritable impatience over a video game since being hauled around my local shopping centre, as a 14 year old boy, as my Mother insisted on her purchases being made despite their vast insignificance compared to the game I had just purchased, (Lego: Star Wars, for the record) instead having to settle on reading the in box manual to feed my anticipation. Only the potential for social embarrassment held back my wish to sprint down the road from my local Sainsburys, game in hand, as the tension built in my gut. Finally, insertion of the disk brought up the games opening credits, and I was in. GTA V had arrived.

And what a game it is. Not only has it regained the adjective of 'fun' to describe merely sauntering around the city, its redefined sandbox perfection with a level of detail unmatched in any game created to date. Aside from the balance of mechanics between realism and bravado finally being achieved, the real genius of the game comes from within the bustling city of Los Santos created by Rockstar, and the 21st century gadgetry with which us, the consumerist victims of such a technological development, can interact with it. GTA V is a genuine satire of modern Western life, and its the subtle hints gently mocking the modern day American dream, everything from uploading social networking site 'life invader' on your iFruit phone, to sending a selfie of your character stood in front of the 'Vinewood' sign, that will leave an irremovable grin on the players face long after completion. TV shows fit for my Friday night viewing, a radio playlist that far excels the current FM transmissions, golf, stocks and shares, immigration control missions with a patriotic American who can only utter Spanish, a trick has not been missed. Add to this the interaction, both in the city and amongst one another, of three beautifully crafted characters, of which Trevor must now sit amongst the greatest video game characters ever created. I could bore an army of disinterested normal non-gaming human beings with moments from Trevor that tickled me, however being re-acquainted with his character to witness him typically stood atop a mountain, angrily pursuing a cyclist wearing only a rather fashionable women's dress can sum up his character as best I can within a sentence.

Upon completion of the game, with which was achieved only very recently for myself, I was hit with an unavoidable sense of dread and sadness. Life appears so futile upon the removal of an experience that has delved deep into my emotional makeup, and on so many levels. It offered me humour, drama, thrills and spills in an ever engrossing story line, fit for the big screen. As a result, I would strongly recommend that any fence sitters that still remain should embrace its controversial nature which has no doubt benched a few potential customers (discounting the many more it will have gained of course). To my eyes, any form of entertainment willing to stir up the passions of the Daily Mail with its distasteful subject matter should be celebrated as a triumph.

Ultimately, Grand Theft Auto V is a fitting end to the current generation of consoles, utilising the appropriate hardware like no other game has, and any gamer, passion big or small, continuing to ignore its obvious genius is doing themselves an almighty disservice by missing out on what will no doubt not only go down in gaming folklore, but entertainment folklore as an entire industry.

The X Factor Winners- Where are they now?

2013-09-19T06:54:00.000-07:00

ITV kick started the reality conveyer belt as the search for Britain's latest singing sensation hit or TV screens once again. Simon Cowell, kingpin of the show and general musical warlord, has always stressed the priority of tracking down the hidden talent within the country, (the swelling of his bank account from premium rate phone lines a mere bi-product, it seems) indeed ITV's promotion of this years show emphasised their pride in the success of contestants, and with this in mind, I scoured the depths of Wikipedia and entered domains of the internet rarely accessed by any human being in order to evaluate the success of the X Factors mission.

The show it self these days of course resembles a little too closely to ancient Rome. Contestants are wheeled out to the Coliseum, often selected for the main audition (by producers in the initial audition which is not televised) based purely on the eccentricity of their character, potential for controversial reaction, or indeed down right mental instability. Hyped from progressing from the initial rounds, the fall of self esteem is all that harder when its carried not only by people you admire, but often in rude, insensitive and damaging fashion. All of this of course, is lapped up by the hoards of public viewers, chanting and booing the isolated wannabe pop star, a verbal thumbs down from the Roman public, a mental decapitation for the gladiator, who slumps back into their hole, only more vulnerable after the character destroying experience. The fact the show is so often blaringly staged makes the whole ordeal of watching that little bit more tragic.

All of which makes it all the more incredible a star has indeed emerged from the chaos of the X Factor. Leona Lewis was the winner back in 2006. From there she has sold 28 million records worldwide, breaking into the UK top five seven times, as well being nominated for seven Brit Awards, and three Grammys. Her position as darling of the X Factor props up a procession of other calamitous idols, too which tracking down information on their musical exploits became more difficult than an attempt to access the FBI's best kept secrets.

Beginning with Steve Brookstein (no, me neither). Winner in the very first X Factor in 2004, Brookstein is the first in line when attempting to find the butt to your perfect X Factor reject joke. Dropped after just one studio album under label Sony BMG his fall from grace has been one that even Tiger Woods could have a chortle at. A failed attempted at a second album, promoted by a label he created himself, fell flat, and the result led to a stint performing on a P&O cruise ferry to Bilbao during 2007, alongside no other than musical icon Chico. The fact his wiki section '2007-present' ends in 2010 does not present much hope of a take that style comeback anytime soon.

Similarly, Leon Jackson, winner back in 2007, can make a mighty fine case himself for position of worst X Factor winner. In fact, his accolade as '2nd biggest reality flop' by Tellymix in 2010 left him precariously positioned as runner up to, you guessed it, Steve Brookstein. Once describing his X Factor win as a 'curse', Jackson has spent the last few years attempted to find a label for his second album, after a similar split to Brookstein from Sony BMG.

Aside from the two named above, many other winners have enjoyed fleeting success without ever living up to the role of Britain's biggest new artist. Alexandra Burke still has her fingernails gripping on to the music industry after a spat of success. Shayne Ward enjoyed a very fruitful spell alongside Justin Lee Collins in the hit musical 'Rock of Ages' in the West End. Ultimately, its hard to endorse the X Factor as a real door to success, making the shows initial statement of intent somewhat curiously unattained. The very fact only Lewis (as well as more recent winners) remains signed onto Cowell's label proves his lack of faith.

All of this of course, fails to even mention the herd of X Factor finalists that have managed to loiter around our TV screens like a bad smell, all in increasingly undignified ways. This niche market created by these largely talentless attention seekers has only increased the cycle of reality shows ever greater amounts of normal human beings have come to loathe. Without them, shows such as Big Brother and I'm a Celebrity get me out of here, with which these x-listers have become a feeder to, offer these buffoons countless opportunities to embarrass themselves in more pointlessly tedious ways. Similarly, the finalists of TV talent shows have only served to offer greater difficulty to wedding singers across the country, who are inundated with competition fresh from the reality TV dump.

All in all then, its evident that the winners of the X Factor and similar talent shows have done little to progress the human quest for musical perfection. Neither will any trouble writers wishing to compile a comprehensive list of influential celebrity culture icons of the future. All of which of course could add to the debate as to the X Factor's position on UK TV screens today, as the scales tip ever further into the 'just make good TV' direction. Expect to see yesterday's news appearing in your local town this Christmas, Staines Christmas lights aren't going to turn themselves on you know.

Reality TV merry-go-round shows no sign of halting after Big Brother 2013 launch

2013-08-27T14:35:00.001-07:00

Big Brother returned to our screens recently, as the eye gougingly repetitive reality TV calendar continues to prove brainstorming sessions at the UK's biggest stations continue to end with the same conclusion. So, Channel 5, airing their third edition of Celebrity Big Brother, adding to the previous nine created by Channel 4, not forgetting the three standard editions of Big Brother from Channel 5, plus of course the ten Channel 4 aired before handing over the mantle, adds to a grand total of the twenty fifth edition of the same scenario being wheeled out before the publics eye.

Big Brother appears to still attract an audience of sorts, a certain buzz still emanates from social media sites on launch night, plus average viewing figures at a reported 1.5 million mean it is the most successful edition since the transition to Channel 5. However, it is up to some debate as to the actual purpose of viewing the show as it currently stands. Upon its first ever show back in the 2000, Big Brother presented a fresh, broad concept. Collect a bunch of ordinary members of society, throw them all into a sufferer of claustrophobia's' idea of hell, and film the entire ordeal for the viewing pleasure of millions of people. A genuine sociological experiment was born.

The years went by and obviously, to keep the show fresh, things had to be shaken up. Big Brother descended into little more than an old age Victorian freak show. The contestants selected were done so due to their eccentricity, controversial nature or downright unstable character. The housemates of recent editions resemble more of a line up of escapees from One flew over the cuckoos nest. Specifically paired up in order to clash, ants tossed into a box and shaken. All of which, of course, makes brilliant television for the people sat at home watching.

The celebrity arm of the show offers an even more tragic recipe. Much the same concept, only the housemates here are often distant relatives of David Beckham's gardener, or perhaps were once a roadie for Bananarama. Whichever path to 'stardom' was taken by each housemate, their motive for joining the show is often to attempt to reclaim the spotlight, as the public eye has shunned them back into the bin after their five minutes of fame, reclaiming a spot in the shadows just next to Peter Andre and Paul Danan.

This years contestants are no different, a quick glance over the list reveals more of a 'Who? Who?' than a 'who's who' of celebrity. The usual mix of soap stars and ex-pop stars are joined by a more than surprising appearance by Ron Atkinson, once the manager of Manchester United. He is not only known within football however, as his racist remarks made about a black footballer whilst commentating for ITV in 2004 earn him the tag of popular culture icon. Sophie Anderton also makes an all to predictable entry to the Big Brother house. She has become somewhat of a veteran of reality shows, adding to her appearances on I'm a Celebrity, as well as Celebrity Love Island, only strengthening her optimisation of the desperate nature of the niche group created by reality TV, as X-list celebs endlessly scour the networks for face time and column inches.

And so, this collection of washed up nobodies must dance for the ringmaster, the viewing public, all in the hope of providing some reality TV controversy that Channel 5 so desperately require in order to continue to flog this dead horse. Look no further than Big Brother for reality TV's most controversial moments. The race row involving Jade Goody and Danielle Lloyd, or perhaps that special moment between Kinga and a wine bottle. Elsewhere, Channel 5's the Farm produced a moment of magic back in 2005 when Rebecca Loos made one pig the envy of the rest of the farmyard. And who can deny a sense of enjoyment when viewing countless celebrities sitting down on I'm a Celebrity to enjoy a spot of Kangaroo anus, but only if they eat all their Crocodile penis first of course!

Ultimately, it is surely evident enough that after thirteen years of Big Brother, along with the reality boom it kick started, that television is ready to move on. A quick glance over to America, ignoring all their even more brainless celebrity culture, and a production line of endless quality TV shows is in full swing. Britain was once known for its creation of high quality TV drama and gritty film making. All that can be hoped is shows such as Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire and Game of Thrones can shine a light on British Television makers of future who hope to dismantle the tragic cycle of reality dross currently poisoning the countries eyes and ears. All is not lost however....the X Factor starts in a couple of weeks!

Ossett's golden chance at a 21st Century town

2013-07-16T04:55:00.000-07:00

The quiet, unsuspecting town of Ossett, a few miles from Wakefield, was thrown into the public eye recently as a local café owners' frustrations at the racial attitudes of local residents lead to a controversial move. Martha-Renee Kolleh, 42, posted a sign on the door of her West Indian style café, situated in the centre of Ossett, warning any potential customers 'I am a black woman' and 'if you are allergic to black people' not to enter the establishment.

The media furore that unfolded has surely exceeded any expectations Martha-Renee had over what level of reaction would be met with her actions. A flurry of national press journalists charged up the M1, flocking to a town previously bereft of even a modicum of outsider attention. Ms Kolleh appeared on both BBC and Sky News. Even This Morning could not resist to cast its mid-morning eyes over the story for a typically gossip style debate. This of course is not to mention the vast number of newspaper column inches the story has devoured over the recent days. The countries press still evidently feels such racial charged stories continue to be a political hot potato worth such Nationwide coverage.

Fortunately, I myself have had a VIP ticket to witness this gritty British drama unfold. Living in Ossett, as I have for the last six years, led the story straight to me, only further enhanced by the cafés location, next door to a branch of a well known Supermarket I have worked in for many years whilst at university (The image attached was taken by myself).

As such, I feel a certain amount of responsibility to jump to the defence of my current residency, as only a brief glance over the comment sections of the news reports published have left an all too predictable outcome. The conclusion drawn by the majority of the public appears to have been 'Its a Northern town, what do you expect?' Such generalisations are not only incredibly harmful to social attitudes, but also a phenomenally inaccurate statement, one I would be more accepting of would it be 1950. As a result, I will attempt to paint a far more accurate picture of Ossett and the surrounding area for the advantage of those who have clearly never been to such terrifying places as the North of England.

Ossett is a tranquil, pleasant town situated on the outskirts of Wakefield. Its town centre, home to Ms Kolleh's café, enjoys a vast array of local businesses, ranging from charity shops to butchers. Whilst the majority of days Ossett remains eerily quiet, Tuesdays and Fridays bring a hub of activity, the market bringing custom from not only Ossett but also neighbouring villages. Crime statistics remain well below the National average, and ultimately I have few complaints regarding my time spent living in the town. However, a National leader in multiculturalism it is not. A popular fact banded around many articles surrounding Ms Kolleh's ordeal have pinpointed Ossett's vastly white population, as high as 97.5% in 2011. Indeed, a walk round the town centre reveals a distinct lack of diversity in its taste of food establishments, to which Ms Kolleh's Caribbean style cooking offers a refreshing change to the rows of greasy spoons and traditional sandwich shops. Ossett remains a town stuck in its ways, heavily populated by people of an older generation, the very peoples business Ms Kolleh requires to run a successful business. Such facts remain somewhat surprising regarding the location of neighbouring Dewsbury, a town with one of the highest population of Asians throughout the UK.

The residents of Ossett have had mixed reviews of Ms Kolleh's actions. Whilst its obvious in such a modern world racism at any such level is not to be tolerated, some feel such a confrontational repost is no way of winning over your customers. Certainly, I am aware of a rival café worker who has received a small number of complaints regarding the quality of food served at Ms Kolleh's establishment. This can be counterbalanced however by the raft of positive comments the café has collected on its Facebook page. Either way, Ms Kolleh had been driven to employ a white lady to serve on the counter, something which should leave any Ossett resident unnerved by the frosty reception she felt she had received.

Ms Kolleh's remarkable story has been a eye opener not just for Ossett but for the country. Whether this is only a further indication of a broken society or merely an old fashioned town still struggling to push it self into towards the diverse, liberal cities such as nearby Leeds, eyes will now be cast over Ossett to see how it progresses. Ms Kollehs story has placed Ossett on the map, and whatever the reasons for its appearance, it now has a outstanding opportunity to grow economically and socially as a result.

England's ODI agony continues with final defeat

2013-06-25T06:06:00.004-07:00

England's failure to grasp the science of the 50 over format stumbles on, as defeat to India in this year’s Champions Trophy, held in England, ensured the hoodoo will be extended for at least another two years.

A clear game plan was laid out prior to the tournament, test match players create the foundations for the exponents of flair to make use of in the latter overs, with test match bowlers using the swinging ball to knock over the opponents’ batting exerts. Certainly, it seemed a winning formula within English conditions, supported by the evidence of only one series ODI defeat in England over the last four years (all be it the most recent to New Zealand).

Indeed, for a large part of the tournament, it succeeded. England's well oiled machine plodded into the latter stages, with one Kumar Sangakarra master class an excusable blot on the record. The murmurings that previously failed to defuse appeared to be dampening somewhat. Trott, the focal point of England’s detractors, was in the runs, providing an ample platform at an agreeable strike rate, all with a minimum of fuss. The ball was swinging (Sri Lanka game aside) and England’s bowling attack was led superbly by James Anderson, finally stamping his authority in an ODI shirt. Progression to the final was a breeze, South Africa can be forgiven for sticking to their tried and tested formula, as a disastrous performance led to an impromptu saffers like semi-final choke, thus handing England an ODI final place for the first time since 2004.

With it England could prove to the cricketing world they right all along. Throughout the period running up to the tournament, as well as during it, fans and media alike battered the conservative nature of England's batting, as well as their inadaptable bowling unit. Here however, they came up against the polar opposite in cricketing style. An India side packed with young, exciting stroke makers, capable of the 300 plus scores they achieved comfortably during their opening game against South Africa awaited England, and so, it seemed, an irresistible opportunity to promote England's ideology, one which was banished by the rest of the world as archaic sometime around the conception of twenty20 cricket. A classic final of style vs substance, flair vs efficiency and proactive vs reactive was set.

This opportunity was only further enhanced when, after a predictable morning of rain, the match was reduced to 20 overs per side, a change which on paper would suit an Indian side more accustomed to the shortest twenty20 format. And so it proved, England themselves coming over all South African, as a collapse more synonymous with a village cricket side led to, in much the same vain as theresult of England's last 50 over final, defeat when victory seemed more than likely.

So, the wait must go on, the now very well matured champagne remains on ice, and England must look forward to 2015 for their next shot at ODI immortality, where the World Cup in Australia awaits. There is no shortage of pointers to take from their experiences here however.

Surely now, with Australia's faster, harder tracks that are less conducive to swing, England must refocus their tactics, bringing them more in line with the rest of the winners in ODI cricket. A top three of Cook, Bell and Trott is no longer viable, with likes of Joe Root and Notts pair Alex Hales and Michael Lumb ready to grasp a top order spot, and with it, a far more imperious start to each innings (Bell being my choice for the chop). Pietersens return to the middle order will add that extra world class presence that England lacked during the Champions Trophy. The final dimension required for a new, fresher outlook on English 50 over cricket revolves around that tricky number seven all-rounders spot. Whilst Ravi Bopara did a commendable job during the Champions trophy, it can only be a quick fix. In Ben Stokes, England possess a genuine all-rounder capable of bowling a full allocation of overs, coupled with explosive lower order hitting. The swifter his appearance in the side, the better.

Ultimately, England's game plan during the Champions Trophy was built to win that very tournament, and coming up just short presents a valiant effort and successful return. In lacking the one true match winner with bat in hand that English possess in this format, it may go down as what might have been for Cook’s side. Certainly, England may have cast rueful eyes over Headingly as that very day, Pietersen proceeded to mark his return from injury by dispatching top of the table Yorkshire to all parts during his almost run a ball 177. However, in being defeated by a side younger, more exuberant and led by a vastly more proactive leadership team, England could a lot worse than follow the blue print of Indian ODI cricket, as their now undisputed position at the top of the 50 over game looks set to be extended to 2015 and beyond.

Apple: Technological Geniuses' or Marketing Masterminds?

2013-06-02T09:32:00.000-07:00

Apple or Windows? The eternal question that has plagued the internet forums of this world for many years, and with the growing usability of technological devices coupled with the broadening array of fields, a question that will only continue to rumble onwards, seemingly without conclusion. Here however, I will attempt to instill some rationality into the subject, in the hope to aid any future consumers becoming bemused by their lack of decisiveness .

Approach any openly Apple supporter with my opening question, and your likely to be stubbornly refused of any civilised debate on the specifications of your laptop or phone, whilst ordered to slink back to your 'nerd machine' whilst they stroke and lick their pristinely designed superior supercomputer. This wiff of prickly self-righteousness on the issue has grown me to view the Apple user as a defender of what has now become more of a religion or a lifestyle choice than that of a technological selection. This angle no doubt originates from those awfully pretentious 'Mac Vs PC' advertisements Apple used to run starring Peep Show duo David Mitchell and Robert Webb. During which, Mitchell, dressed in a drab brown suit, and Webb, in a more cool and casual jeans and t-shirt combo, basically fall into character of their portrails in the hit sitcom they star in. Ultimately, the underlying message was, Mac's are for people who like their lunch alfresco, enjoy a martini in the trendy bar that's just opened in town, or like to sit in first class on the train to Kings Cross with their trophy laptop sat comfortably in front of them. Cool, sophisticated, successful. In contrast, PC's were for losers, either nerd's whose only friends are named 'Goblin Slayer3000', or indeed your average 'Joe', who needs his PC for spreadsheets or powerpoint presentations. You know, all the things you need a computer for. This very campaign must be viewed as one of the success stories of marketing in the modern era, as can be viewed from Apple's current position of technological trend setters, for the first time launching modern hi tech gadgetry into the everyday lives of a new generation, rather than simply devices used by people who enjoy Lord of the Rings battle re-enactments at the weekend. Even today, Apple's commercial efforts try their up most to ensure the viewer believes a choice of Mac, iPhone or iPad is the 'cool' thing to do. With the sleek design of these devices, coupled with the latest modern musical hot points, used at the forefront of Apple's justification, something which Microsoft has noticed, and decided to incorporate into their most recent adverts.

Before I go any further, I must report a wild use of hypocrisy on my part. I am currently in ownership of Apple products, whilst a dismiss my iPad from this discussion (it remains the tablet to beat), as I type, I do so on my 21.5' iMac all in one computer. It has, however, only recently come to my attention what a grave error I made in purchasing it, my wallet eased ajar by the slick ads and visually beautiful aesthetics many have fallen into. However, I hoping to move on, back to the dark side that is Windows after its recent launch of Windows 8, the latest attempt to break the consumer juggernaut of Apple users.

So, enough of my infernal ramblings, as evidence is required to back up such blasphemous claims. Fortunately, it is available in abundance. Beginning with Apple's stalwart computer application, the MacBook Pro, a mid-range laptop costing £1,2500 and you would be forgiven for expecting the height of currently available power for this sizeable purchase. However, compare with a Windows laptop built by HP, and an altogether different story unravels. Not only does the PC come with a 2.4 GHz processor (as opposed to 1.7 GHz on MacBook) but RAM is for twice times as generous (16GB plays 8GB), the hard drive 33% larger (1TB rather than 750GB) and the screen is not only 4 inches larger, but also of a higher resolution. All this is topped off with a blue-ray player absent from Apple systems, and a £300 saving at current list price. A comprehensive victory in terms of specification for Windows, but I will not stop there.

The elevation of Apple's iPhone to the top of the smart phone tree has been achieved using the sublime marketing techniques outlined above. However, for anyone more interested in purchasing a more powerful and impressive machine at the best price, its worth comparing with its main rival, the Samsung Galaxy S4. Unfortunately for Apple fanatics, its time to wince once more, as the ascendancy to Samsung's device is even greater here. The processor of Samsung clocks in with 0.4Ghz more power, coupled with twice the RAM (2GB over 1GB for Apple). The screen has a far superior resolution, the camera 5 mega pixels stronger, and the battery will last over twice as long. All this power is further sweetened by the terrifyingly futuristic non-touch features of the Galaxy, as photos can be cycled through and selected, whilst videos can be paused and continued all without even laying a finger on the screen.

For anyone further confused by the barrage of figures just thrown their way, or merely uninterested in the specifications, these statistics can conjure only one conclusion. A more powerful, smoother and faster system, brought to you with the latest in available consumer technology, all viewed on a cleaner, sharper screen, at a price either matched, or even bettered. On the basis presented here, it can only be seen as a wild misjudgement to choose anything but a windows computer or Android mobile when given the choice. The initial question posted in the title can only be drawn one way, Apple clearly are well aware of the power of advertising, and this has allowed them to cut back on the power of their systems, maximising the profit made, but deviously short changing millions of customers worldwide. Ask yourself the following, would you enter a restaurant and pay £50 for a rump steak, if it meant you were sitting in the vicinity of a well known celebrity, or rather choose a fillet steak next door, priced at £30 but offered in a room full of the everyday man. Apple may well currently hold its head as the market leader in this field, and only a rational, unbiased comparison of the available systems will break Apple's spell of style over substance it has over its customers.

England's ODI Exploits: A progress report

2013-02-20T02:20:00.000-08:00

As 2013 brings not only the opportunity for England to add further jewels to its crown in the form of the Champions Trophy this summer, we also find ourselves at the half way point of the World Cup cycle. As a result, I ask the simple question of how England's recent performances bode for a serious tilt at 50 over silverware in the next two years.

For all England's success in the longest and shortest varieties of cricket, they have somewhat fluctuated between world beaters and serial flops when encountered by the mid-ranged 50 over game.

The past twelve months, for example, bring meat to the argument England are the most inconsistent team at this format. Series victories over Pakistan, West Indies and Australia have been followed by a draw to South Africa, loss to India and defeat in the first ODI Vs New Zealand. However, optimistic onlookers will pinpoint this summer's Champions Trophy as a genuine hope for success, if only for the fact the tournament is played in England itself. Fans, as a result, will hope the team can go one better than a remarkable final defeat to the West Indies the last time the tournament was held on home soil, back in 2004.

Recent team selection for the New Zealand series reflects the ideal XI built to succeed in a tournament held on English pitches. A million miles from the flat, lifeless Indian tracks, England require a stable base built from 'proper' technically gifted players, hence a solid if unspectacular top three of Cook, Bell and Trott. From this, an England middle order brimming with flair and innovation can muscle the total skywards. The emergence of Jos Buttler as a demolition expert adds a further cog in a network already containing attacking masters like Kevin Pietersen and Eoin Morgan. Furthermore, Joe Root's reputation as Geoffrey Boycott reincarnated has changed to one of an innovative strokemaker in only a few months, adding to fierce middle order competition as well as providing an option for a floating batting order.

Regarding the bowling unit, England's selection of seam bowling magician Jimmy Anderson offers the team a strong weapon up front with the white ball. However, the hunt for a genuine all round option, a player equally able to bat at seven as he is to bowl 10 overs of penetrative bowling per game goes on. Most recently, Samit Patel has fallen by the wayside with Chris Woakes the latest to step into the void with the opportunity to firm up his position in the XI for the Champions Trophy. A first class average of 25 with the ball and 38 with the bat suggest he has all the ingredients, however whether he is able to step up to international level remains a huge question mark he must answer over the coming months. Ultimately, no candidate fits the unique bill Andrew Flintoff managed to fill, and come the Champions Trophy, the number seven slot may prove the achilles heel.

England's performances over the remaining two ODIs against New Zealand, plus the return series in early June, offer limited games in which England can finalise not only the starting XI, but also tactics in which a tournament winning side can be created. Indeed, ICC regulation alterations have further supported England's bid for 50 over glory. For years, they seemed unmoved on a stringent tactic of solid accumulation, packed with big hitters down the order to boost the total. Berated as old fashioned and failing to adapt, other nations adopted a top order of hitters, intent on making the most of the powerplay overs. The introduction of two white balls, particularly in English conditions, will not only aid England's strike bowlers of Anderson, Finn and Broad, but possibly prove that England were right all along, as surely the status quo of teams tactics for the Champions Trophy will be one of caution upfront, risk saved for the closing overs.

It’s clear England, with home advantage, can be considered amongst the favourites for this years cricketing silverware. The fresh faced management team of Giles and Cook will be hugely keen to grab the opportunity, not only to stamp authority ahead of the next World Cup, but also to enjoy a tantalising starter in the shadow of this summer's irresistible main course, the Ashes contest.

Premier League Season 2012/13: A Preview

2012-08-17T06:24:00.001-07:00

The British 'summer' is once more in its closing stages, and of course, in the world of sport, that can only mean one thing. The return of the Barclays Premier League! Always a provider of adrenalin fuelled action of the highest class, last season was a landmark year with Manchester City finally ousting the label of noisy neighbours to Manchester United, becoming Premiership Champions for the very first time. Can City build upon last years success and form an era of top flight domination? Or will the more established of the top English clubs bully their way back to the summit?

Sticking with the battle for the much coveted top four places, many of the worlds footballing tycoons have shown their hands in the war for the Premier League trophy. Big money signings have been at every turn as the gap between the top six and the rest becomes ever wider. The exception however, much to manager Roberto Mancini's annoyance, has been Manchester City. The sole acquisition of Jack Rodwell from Everton does not provide the squad with enough of a beefing up to plug what few holes emerged during last season. Expect a centre half, as well as possibly a winger, before the transfer window slams shut. However, the re-collection of Carlos Tevez's toys back into his pram has left City with what will feel like a new signing. He only adds to what was already the most potent attacking force in the division. City's unbreakable spine of Hart, Kompany, Toure, Silva and Augero will leave many opposition falling short at their attempts to muster any scraps, particularly from the fortress that is the Eithiad.

Moving on to the challengers from City's crown, Manchester United will once again be hot on the heels of the champions, with Sir Alex Ferguson no doubt still livid from his last minute title loss in May. United have responded with a true world class partner to Wayne Rooney in attack. Robin Van Persies' arrival from Arsenal gives United an added touch of class to the squad, and together the twosome will no doubt be terrorising many Premier League defences over the coming months. Add to this the guile of slick winger Shinji Kagawa and United have certainly built a squad looking more capable of challenging on all fronts. The recovery of Vidic from long term injury will also bring steel back to a defence which was at times left flapping last season.

The best of the rest will undoubtably talk the talk when a season of optimism begins for the likes of Chelsea and Arsenal. However, despite from shrew acquisitions from both, (including my tip for signing of the season, Santi Carzola to Arsenal) I would still feel Chelsea lack quality in midfield and depth in attack to really expect anything more than a top four position, plus a good defence of their cups. Similarly, Arsenal stars contiune to wave goodbye in the close season, and Van Persie, plus potentially Alex Song, leave them with yet more re-building to do. Again, expect top four, but surely now Arsene Wenger has invested in proven talent with time to gel in order to muster a trophy after seven long years?

Tottenham and Liverpool are two sides in similar stages of their squad evolution. Both have new managers, with both looking to inject a modern system which may take time to mould into genuine trophy contenders. Both also have had limited funds compared to previous seasons, displayed with only a couple of additions for both sides. All in all, I see these two battling for fifth and sixth with the potential of a cup run or two.

Shifting our attention to the bottom of the table, the arrival of three strong clubs with Premier League pedigree only adds to the minefield that is attempting to predict who will get the top back down to the Championship come May 2013. Kicking off with West Ham, its clear that the Premier League is where they belong. Manager Sam Allardyce has built his reputation on keeping clubs in the top division on a shoe string, and signings such as Alou Diarra, Mohamed Diame and James Collins show he is no about to alter his philosophy now. Survival with ease is my prediction. As for Reading and Southampton, I foresee more of a struggle. Reading appear to lack the quality or depth to sustain a survival challenge all year round, and many of their signings are unproven at the top level. Southampton are in a similar boat, it only remains to be seen whether a reported transfer for Gaston Ramirez comes to fruition. If not, can the bright burgeoning talent of mangers McDermott and Adtkins provide enough for to stay up? I certainly fear for Reading.

Casting an eye over the remainder of the relegation candidates, and its difficult to pick with any conviction who may be dragging down the depths of the bottom three. Wigan will no doubt again be in contention, particularly with Victor Moses seemingly on his way. If only Martinez could kick his players into shape from the off. Aside from them, one or several of Stoke, Norwich, Swansea and Aston Villa are my tips to potentially flounder amongst the bottom few this season, for very contrasting reasons.

All in all it promises to be another season of rip roaring, buttock clenching brilliance at both ends of the table. However, I will leave you with my pre-season predictions, archived now to be tripped up by later.

Champions: Manchester City
Remainder of top four: Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal
Relegation: Reading, Norwich, Aston Villa
FA Cup: Manchester United
League Cup: Arsenal

Citizenship Test Changes to Only Further Alienate Immigrants

2012-08-01T07:57:00.003-07:00

Home Secretary Theresa May's announcement in July to overhaul the British Citizenship test led me to consider how strongly I can boast about my standing within my country of birth. After some initial complacency, with surely only one outcome possible in my mind as I entered the test, it was soon replaced by sheer amazement at my lack of knowledge. Much head scratching and several shots in the dark later, I scored a very mediocre 11. Out of 24. Whilst this was a resounding failure, many of the questions posed to me I found puzzling, handing me no insight into life in Britain, nor aiding a potential integration into my new society. This has supplied me ammunition for my defence when UK border control inevitably knock down my door in a few minutes.

For example, I'm not entirely sure of the relevance of the number of under 19s currently living in the UK on an incoming British Citizen. Similarly, a true or false answer based around the location of the majority of immigrants to the UK in the 1980s left me entirely baffled as to the objective of this test. Not exactly tackling the big issues of life in 21st Britain. However, amongst the occasional question that can only have been plucked from a google search engine, there is a basic structure of well directed questions, which when answered correctly, can provide a nugget of potentially very useful information to budding UK citizens. Categories such as what is required to apply for a job, who can receive free prescriptions and educational questions can only provide a good starting base for incoming immigrants in what is surely a tricky transitional period.

So, looking at the headline talk from May, a certain amount of encouragement could initially be drawn, as I provided faith she would look to banish these existing questions of little or no relevance or help to anyone involved. Alarmingly, after reading further through her plans, I was thoroughly disheartened to notice an intention to 'ditch sections about claiming benefits and the human rights act.' In place of which she intends in inject a dose of British History to turn the test into somewhat of a history quiz on popular British figures and events through time. Now, not to belittle the achievements of many great Brits and their influence of growing the country, but this new direction for the citizenship test completely evades the exact reason the test was introduced by Labour back in 2005. I am not aware of the exact number of times I have entered my local post office only to be quizzed on my most favoured Shakespeare piece or enjoyed a pint in my local pub with friends whilst chin wagging over the events of the battle of Trafalgar, but I am certain I would only require one hand. Furthermore, May proclaimed she wishes future citizens to 'learn the first verse of the national anthem.' Aside from the questions arising over nationality of these incoming immigrants, the outdated British anthem only exacerbates the main problem outlining these raft of alterations to the test. The subject of this new direction for the test does not at all replicate the mantra of 21st Century Britain and its multi-cultural makeup. Take the national anthem, its believed around a third of Brits are now atheists. Couple this with a figure of between 25-35% of republicans within the UK. This leaves the line 'God save the Queen' with almost no traction when attempting to represent the best interest of Britain in its entirety in the year 2012.

Ultimately, the UK Citizenship test should have one top priority. Aid the integration of immigrants within their new society, so they immediately access key aspects of their community, such as the NHS, education and other welfare advantages. Unfortunately, as much as Britain loves to promote the great personalities of yesteryear, boning up on the life and achievements of the Duke of Wellington or Britains' greatest inventions will provide new settlers into Britain with none of the important information required to instantly provide a seamless blend into a new cosmopolitan society which Britain is such a pioneer of. Unless May is only intent of breeding the next generation of supreme pub quiz masters I would suggest she should have a serious reconsideration of her plans.

Is It Worth Protesting Anymore?

2012-06-28T06:45:00.001-07:00

Since David Cameron and his coalition government shuffled into number 10 intent on fixing Britain's economic crisis, many areas of the public sector have retaliated against his chosen methods by striking. Cameron has watched on defiantly as millions of angry workers pass by his London HQ, placards in hand, demanding justice. This plethora of protests shows little signs of letting up, as the National Union of Students (NUS) recently announced plans for a London protest, the date set as the 21st November 2012. NUS has outlined a wide range of issues they wish to tackle on the march, with everything from University fees, rising housing prices and even retirement and pensions on the agenda. However, given the large amount of protests and strikes that have taken place over the past couple of years, are they actually making a difference? Is it even worth protesting anymore?

Many of the public sector strikers are infuriated as they see their state pensions whittled down to dust by a government smoke screened with an obsession of 'were all in it together.' A very plausible argument coming the governments way in return is these very public sector workers are being punished for a crime they did not commit. Its now widely accepted many of the world's banks and loose government policy caused the economy to collapse so dramatically. So why is that the everyday man should suffer as a consequence? Similarly, the current coalition government has betrayed several areas of society, breaking their mandate to rule. For example, in the Tory manifesto pre-last election, they promised no changes would be made to Teachers pensions before the next election. Betrayal number one. Furthermore, Doctors re-negotiated a pension deal only four years ago, to only see if torn up infront of their noses recently by Health Secretary Andrew Lansley. Betrayal number two. Finally, Nick Clegg stood firm in his promise to oppose any policy to raise university fees, only to see them tripled soon after. Betrayal number three. It stands to reason that if I promise you £10 to let me you use your car, then don't pay up, your going to be well within your rights to make a stand against that.

In this modern democracy we are all hugely proud of living in, when these basic principles are broken, we are all well within our rights to stand up and fight for change. Is it truly a democracy if we allow the government to run its own course, regardless of previous promises, and stand by as they slowly pulverise our NHS and education systems? Its an almighty contradiction to have a government run with the tag line 'were all in this together' whilst the ordinary man picks up the pieces of a mess created by the men with the money, only to hand them tax breaks or simply avoid it all together when things begin to get tough. Were looking at you, 'Sir' Philip Green. The Tory government's priorities seem a little out of touch with the ordinary man.

Protesting has been given a bad name since the 1980s, when Maggie Thatcher tackled the 'striking culture' head on. Any right wing government worth its salt has a priority of standing up to the working class jeers for better distribution of wealth. Cameron has also adopted this tactic, as the student riots of 2010 just so proved. Whilst mainly peaceful, heavy handed police and a few anarchists gave Cameron the ideal opportunity to condemn the protest, turning the public against the everyday student, who were swiftly told to stop moaning. In a time when the economy is continually being beaten to its knees by austerity measures, protesting such huge inequality of wealth is a must in a time when we should be sharing the burden of the deficit. Recession is no time for elitism. Cameron may well scoff at the protests now, however continuing this stance will no doubt be fatal come the next election.

Its a basic human right to be able to protest wrong doing, and this Tory lead government may only to standing by its principes, but it eventually lead to the downfall of Margaret Thatcher, and change is inevitable if enough support is gained over a sufficient period of time. Britain's had enough David, so join myself and thousands of others by making you voice heard on the 21st November and making this country a fairer one for everyone.

England at Euro 2012: A Post Mortem

2012-06-25T06:13:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought it? An ex-West Ham outcast slots home the winning penalty to condemn England to two more years of hurt, the elephant in the room becoming ever more prominent as it age reaches forty six.

However, England must not be too disheartened as they board the plane and disperse for their summer holidays. Roy Hodgson, with only two friendlies worth of experimentation to prepare, a squad already bereft of star quality further hindered by a spat of injuries to potentially key players, managed to rally his chosen squad to a quarter final penalty exit, after topping the previously fancied French as group winners. An achievement when looked at from that angle. England's tactics were clear from the very beginning, as he looked to emulate Chelsea's recent Champions League win, as well as the Greeks against all odds Euro 2004 triumph. Organisation, dogged defending, and a rousing team spirit were the traits England excelled any other nation at during these Championships. But of course, a couple of exceptional circumstances aside, this will only take you so far. Some may criticise Roy for adopting such negativity during a major tournament, but using the tools he was given, he has performed admirably. Many previous England campaigns have been overshadowed by rifts within the camp, a lack of team spirit, and a media failing to support several previous managers. It is to Hodgsons' credit he has clearly recovered from a shaky start to fuse together a clear team ethos of hard graft and teamwork, whilst also winning the support of the media in the process.

Casting an eye over the performances of individuals over the tournament, its clear we've learnt much about the more inexperienced side of the squad, whilst the veterans only enhanced the glowing reputations they have built over many years. John Terry, for all the opinions he may split, can still defend with the best in the world, fully justifying his controversial selection. Steven Gerrards performance as captain was outstanding, he became the focal point of the team, and much doubt must now be cast over previous decisions to over look his captaining credentials. Honourable mentions must also go to Joleon Lescott, Danny Welbeck and Joe Hart. On the other side of the coin, some England performers were abject at best. James Milner, for all his heart and endless fight, could barely muster anything of note when on the front foot. Ashley Young displayed neither the desired effect on either side of the pitch, and Hodgson's decision to leave Adam Johnson at home was cruelly exposed as his team were left without a real spark from either wing. Wayne Rooney's obvious lack of match practise only intensified the lack of real class running throughout the team, and only adds fuel to the fire from observers that doubt Rooney's true international potential.

On the night then, justice was eventually served. Aside from a few opportunities, snuffed out in the main by the imperious evergreen Gigi Buffon, England were outplayed for much of the game, the Italians only had themselves to blame for leaving the victory to such a close shave. Had Mario Balotelli added his shooting boots to the constant threat he posed to the English back line, Italy may well have been out of sight by the hour mark. Much of the pre match talk was centered around stopping the magician Andrea Pirlo. England failed to do so during the match, and thus Pirlo proceeded to run the game. However, much can be taken from Pirlo's performance as England look to build a side capable of challenging the top nations at World Cup 2014. Pirlo orchestrated an italian team much like a conductor to his band, softly spreading the play, maintaining possession all the while. England midfielders, indeed the entire eleven, must strive to emulate Pirlo's masterful performance. Our number one killer in this tournament has been ball retention, and in the searing heat of Rio in two years time, this will be vital if England are to have enough gas in the tank to kill off major opposition.

Looking to personel changes for the qualification campaign to come, surely it is now time to fully embrace the wealth of exciting talent we currently have at our potential disposal. Surely the international curtain must now cast down on the likes of Terry, Downing and Johnson, with Parker and Gerrard not too far behind. Hodgson must look at the blue print posted by the Spanish over the past four years, injecting a much needed dose of panache, breaking the shackles of traditional English heart on the sleeve, warfare type football, in favour of much more flair, built on solid foundations of organised defending, and exceptional ball control. The recovery of Jack Wilshire from injury cannot come quickly enough for a midfield lacking in youthful exuberance. With the additions of the likes of Walker, Rodwell, Cleverly and more influence from Oxlade-Chamberlain, England can build an eleven full of technical gifted footballers capable of taking on the worlds best come Brazil 2014.

Don't Believe What You Read in the Papers

2012-06-13T05:05:00.001-07:00

We are all aware that any of your run of the mill journalist, pressured to fill column inches on a daily basis, may occasionally merge their grasp of the truth with a few added pinches of fabrication to transform a dull story into the nation's talk point. Years of such practise has lead to the coining of the now common phrase 'Don't believe everything you read in the papers'. Despite my general distaste of using this saying, recent events that have unfolded during the Leveson inquiry, coupled with a revelation I read myself, have lead me to suddenly become a pioneer of the above statement.

The relationship between journalists and politicians has come under some severe scrutiny of the past few weeks, with every man and his dog seemingly appearing for questioning under Lord Leveson. The revelations uncovered are somewhat worrying, as we are all now becoming aware of how disturbingly pally many of the leaders of this country are with the reporters. None more so than that of our very own Prime Minister David Cameron and Socialist of the year, (may not be true) but still media colossus Rupert Murdoch. It was widely reported the two, pre last election, struck a deal that both could benefit heavily from. A beautiful friendship was born. Basically, the best of friends agreed that in return for support from Murdoch's many British tabloid newspapers during the election, Cameron would support Murdoch's bid to own BSkyB, of which he already owns nearly 40%. But of course, you already know all this. Since the story broke, both have strenuously denied the deal ever took place. This is despite the exposing of several texts sent by culture secretary Jeremy Hunt to Rupert's son, James Murdoch, with a certain whiff of bias that the deal appeared to be gaining traction. A circle of friendship appeared to be forming. The PM and Murdoch have however, admitted to several 'meetings', although they struggle to come to an agreement on the exact number.

Regardless of whether this unfurling of events is true, its clear that whilst Murdoch has more than the 0% influence he should have over government policy, whilst also supporting the continued austerity measures inflicted by Cameron's government into the minds of the average impressionable Sun reader. On the other side of the coin, I'd like to look at Cameron's influence over the apparently 'free' press that we promote so proudly in this country. Going back before the whole scandal that shut down the News of World and the subsequent revelations that occurred, 2010 saw the protesting of thousands of students around the country, infuriated by the Prime Ministers plans to increase student fees £9,000 per year. Now, much of the media, that includes the vast majority of right wing tabloids (i.e. Murdoch owned), plus the best efforts of government controlled BBC, pillared the students for their actions. The mass media claimed the protests, were 'violent', leaving the police no option but to make over 150 arrests. Two of the most high profile of which were that of brothers Chris and Andrew Hilliard, who were suspected to have pulled a police officer from his horse. The pair's faces were dragged through the mud, as the media showed no mercy for such 'scum'. Cameron himself claimed he wished the terrible twosome to 'feel the full force of the law'. Eighteen months later, few of you may be aware they were completely cleared of any wrong doing, as eventually it was found the police officer, the apparent victim, hadn't tightened his saddle correctly, leaving him open to fall off. Obviously, the media brushed such a turnaround under the carpet, and what have now been widely suggested to have been largely peaceful protests, with perhaps a slight odour of police provoking, will forever be deemed as students mindlessly using force to complain that they must be 'in it together' with the rest of the country.

Make of this wild soap opera what you will, I have merely pointed out a series of events with the added touch of what I believe to have taken place. Ed Miliband recently received my applause for best ever issuing of an obvious statement when he said Rupert Murdoch should be made to sell off some of his NewsCorp branches, relinquishing some power in the process. However until regulation is put in place created by an establishment that is built around neither politicians nor journalists, we will forever be uncovering stories of the two merging to form partnerships that cannot be healthy for a population that for generations has enjoyed a free and fair press.

The Rise of 'Pantomime Politics'

2012-05-31T05:29:00.001-07:00

Traditionally British Politics was seen as the height of sophisticated debate. An open forum for all ideals of the political spectrum to passionately, but orderly, voice their views with the sole objective of a conclusion fit for all. Recent events have only strengthened my view that British Politics has accelerated to somewhat of a circus, populated with people now only aiming to entertain an audience that lusts for confrontation and disagreement. A game show in which points are scored when a member of opposition is exposed in the media for the most recent round of 'something or anothergate.'

Particular goings on within our Political framework over recent months have led to this article being written. Most notably during the past week, when our very own Prime Minister David Cameron snapped across the bench during Prime Ministers Question Time. Ed Balls, the shadow chancellor, a man with many believe has a lot to answer for in terms of the financial crisis, was chirping away whilst Cameron was attempting to answer a question. Suddenly, he paused, and launched a verbal tirade towards Balls, telling him to 'shutup', whilst declaring him 'the most annoying man in modern politics.' To only add to the drama, the commons transformed to resemble more of a football ground, the backbench MPs fulfilling the role of football hooligans as they burst into a chorus of jeers, wafting a selection of paper they had brought with them, intent on supporting their trusted manager, David Cameron. This had proceeded a quick fire duel involving Cameron and Labour leader Ed Miliband over his upcoming marriage. In favour of getting down to business and attempted to solve the current double dip recession, they entered into a round of friendly 'banter' over a potential stag night. Much as I enjoy the highly intellectual humour of a couple of Privately schooled politicians, personally I find it all rather worrying that the collection of men and women we are trusting to overlook the recovery from our worst economic position for nearly 40 years, are more interested in trying to gain a few man points from putting the other down a peg or two. Of recent times, PM's QT has slid into this samey procession, whilst also beginning to leak into our areas of politics.

None more so than the personal slagging match that took the place of an intended London Majoral Election, in which Boris Johnson and Ken Livingston managed to drag the entire election down into a mere mud fight. In an increase of publicity from previous elections, much of the televised debates on the were reduced to a personal level, completely abandoning any attempt to use the opportunity to display their case to be the London Major, whilst also shoving the views of another major candidates to one side, who had little time to voice their opinions despite an attempt to maintain the topic of conversation onto actual policies. Ultimately, this battle had a huge influence on the outcome, as Livingstone's tax dodging sins lost out in favour of the bumbling charm and character Johnson paints of himself.

Much can be drawn from the within society as to why these changes have occurred in the class of our modern politician. Despite my anger towards the road in which these events that have such great importance to everyone have gone down, I am aware it appeals to the mass of the British people, particularly those with little actual grasp on politics and the policies leaders propose. Much like many of us enjoy a daily dose of Jeremy Kyle, the drama that unfolds in many political battles of today resembles much of the same pettiness that makes Kyle's show such a success. But the love we have for a diet of reality tv has leaked into our political system. The British people, led by a media that picks though the lives of rich of famous with a fine tooth pick, loves to kick a man at his peak off his pedestal with the uncovering of a dirty secret. Unfortunately, politicians themselves have decided the best way to win over the voters is adopt a similar approach of low blows and sarcastic comments, ahead of sensible debate with intent on progression we should all truly strive for, particularly in times of such hardship. However, until this vital point of view shifts in the public initially, Ringleaders Cameron and Miliband will continue to lead their posse of followers around the house of commons in time to the Pantomime Politics beat.

Hodgson Squad Selection Fails to Break the Mould

2012-05-21T09:57:00.001-07:00

As the build up towards England's first duel at the European Championship's 2012, against the old enemy France, draws ever nearer, I think its time to truly evaluate Roy Hodgson's recent squad announcement, and thus if we can harbour any of the inevitable hope that what is now 46 years of hurt will end this summer. Leaving Hodgson's appointment to one side, I would prefer to scrutinise the 23 men he has enlisted to aid England's long search for a trophy.

For much of the two years that has passed since our appalling performance during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, previously boss Fabio Capello was urged to move away from the 'Golden Generation', a breed of super-footballers that would dominate world football for a decade or more. We are all aware of how wholeheartedly disappointing their efforts consistently were during major tournaments, and simple logic might suggest they should step aside and allow a new generation to attempt to right their wrongs. Hodgson proceeded to name Terry, Cole, Gerrard, Lampard, Barry and Defoe, all of which have tried, and failed, to bring home the bacon at previously major tournaments. It could be judged as a safe bet from Hodgson to stick to what is known best, however I would argue that had Hodgson selected a new exciting, dynamic breed of footballer that we appear to have in abundance, then had it all flopped horribly, Hodgson would have had a simple get out. Choosing a squad full of youngsters would have left Hodgson little to lose. In reality however, we will embark on the trip to Poland and the Ukraine with the same collection of thirty-somethings intent on one last shot at glory.

So, after a quick glance over the squad, a very firm educated guess can be made as to Roy's formation and tactics going into England's curtain raiser on the 11th of June. Despite his traditional taste for a basic 4-4-2, he may well be persuaded to adopt a more internationally familiar 4-5-1. This would give him the opportunity to play much in the same spirit as Chelsea have recently in their remarkable rise to European glory. Ten men behind the ball in defence, utilising the power of Carroll and the pace of Young and Walcott to spring the counter in attack. Its certainly a safety first policy, but one that coupled with the one thing England with have in spades, fighting spirit, could well conjure at concoction worthy of guiding England to some success, much in the same way that Greece battled their way to the Euro 2004 Championship. Regardless of how successful it proves to be, one can be sure it will not be style many footballing purists will enjoy.

Linking in with this idea of old fashioned British grit and determination, the selection of an innocent until proven guilty John Terry raised ahead of Rio Ferdinand raised many an eyebrow, but received more of a nod of approval from myself. Although he won't be captain, Terry will still be at the frontlines of the war Roy Hodgson will attempt to paint the tournament out to be for his players. His marshaling of his back four, together with the similar traits of Gary Cahill, will have outweighed Ferdinands' clear superior ball control and distribution. Once it was clear both could not attend the tournament, Hodgson decision on style of play was crucial to who got the nod, and ultimately Hodgson's insistence the selection was made purely for 'footballing reasons' could well stand up.

Looking further into the actual personnel charged with carrying the uniquely heavy burden of English expectation into the tournament, Hodgson appears to have dropped a couple of clangers that could well take the form of scapegoats should his plans fall spectacularly before him. Step forward, Stewart Downing. A winger, renowned for his crossing ability, who, despite being loyally relied upon by the now discarded Kenny Dalglish at Liverpool, mustered a grand total of zero goals to go with his zero assists, despite the beanpole Carroll and mercurial Suarez to aim for. This left Downing in the embarrassing position of having a inferior attacking Premier League record to that of Everton goalkeeper Tim Howard's for last season! Yet the £20 million man will board the plane with a realistic chance of adding to his several abject performances in an England shirt. Coupled with the continued refusal from England managers to warm to now Premier League winner Micah Richards, Hodgson hasn't entirely helped himself by surrounding himself with the correct players.

Despite Hodgson's failures in moving on from the past, we can all be fairly certain that, in order for England to win at this years Euros, many of the breed of 1966 would have had to don the boots for one last hurrah. It can only to presumed, and certainly hoped that once another two years of hurt is pinned upon the English footballing follower, that the likes of Wilshire, Cleverly, Rodwell and Walker can give birth to the new 'Golden Generation', leading us towards major glory for years to come.

Voice UK Offers Light at the End of the Reality Tunnel

2012-05-04T12:02:00.001-07:00

The media tagged 'noughties' saw an explosion and evolution of many western cultures, with reality television the queen cheese that has sent this countries once highly respected industry into a cholesterol driven cardiac arrest. With the aid of a frankly embarrassingly long list of examples, its clear to see that what began as a alternative, fresh approach to looking at the diversity growing within our society, has turned into what can now only be described as a Big Fat Gypsy circus freak show. The early days of reality TV were centred around Big Brother, a initially fresh approach to looking at how polarised members of society would react mixed within a confined, claustrophobic space. Unfortunately, it quickly developed into housing a collection of people that don't fairly represent the diverse aspects of today's society. Transexuals, a man with turrets, blonde bimbos intent on 5 minutes of fame and pristine egotistical men worthy of the master race itself created a smokescreen of idiocy that shadowed the initial meaning of the show. This transition created a entirely new niche of programming, that many of Britain's newly formed reality enthusiasts were determined to milk for all it was worth. The evolving of the show to present its first 'Celebrity' (used very loosely) Big Brother in turn gifted these previous contestants a further opportunity to expose their incompetence by re-appearing, this time only with a Brad Pitt's wife’s' uncles' sons' next door neighbours' ex-pizza delivery boy and the owner of the world's largest stamp collection, for company. The age of the z-lister had begun. Soon the country was churning out endless dreary attempts to emulate Channel 4s' big success. None more so than Channel 5's the Farm, which ran for two series where a collection of nobodies would undertake the running of some farmyard duties. One moment defines the entire run this programme had. Rebecca Loos ( only herself 'famous' for an alleged affair with David Beckham) proceeded to wank off a pig. It received a public outcry on one side of the coin, much needed publicity on the other. Its these 'classic' moments that lead me to question the intelligence of the generation of people I share my oxygen with. Bringing in Big Brother once more, many will recall Kinga, an imbecile taking part in 2005, and her remarkable effort when administering a wine bottle up a place a wine bottle is not meant to be administered. Again, the public projected their disgust, but doing so whilst having a cheeky wank under the table, does not have the desired effect. Despite the obvious hilarity these scenarios bring, it doesn't stop me from wondering I've just stepped am hour closer to death, with my brain slowly being mushed with it. I really could go on for quite some time, but these sorts of shows laid the foundations for programming such as The Only Way is Essex, Teen Mom and Keeping up with the Kardashians to thrive, feeding off the mindless cretins generation that have been developed to watch these shows. Moving on slightly, I'd like to shed light on an addition to the very inclusive club that is reality TV shows I like. The Voice UK, whilst on the face of it may seem like your run of the mill talent(less) singing competition, however it differs clearly in its aims from the Cowell Money Machine, which bring a shred of joy to my ever increasingly cynical heart. The first thing that struck me was at no point during the 4 or so hours I have viewed, has any contestant ever been anything less than above average. It's well known that the X Factor rewards mediocrity, throwing in singers deluded from their 5 year winning streak at the Red Lions' karaoke competition, only to be brought down with a bump, condemned to the scrap heap and back to the factory. Secondly, the anger that has consumed my viewing of such previous talent shows is often triggered by the butt clenchingly boring sop stories that drag various otherwise characterless divs towards fame and glory. Step forward, Susan 'Mong' Boyle. Whilst she indeed did have a some talent hidden within her, I find it very hard to believe that she would have earnt her current status had she not looking like....that. Whilst it might seem harsh to judge her plainly on her looks, its safe to say she rode the thing along, as behind the scenes her success was plotted, sympathy voters on board. They have been greater examples of the use of the sop story to win votes, but all I'm saying is I don't find it right to build a career around your cat being electrocuted or coming off the back of a diagnosis for AIDS. The point is, refreshingly I found the Voice to be completely void of any of these ridiculous stories, choosing to concentrate solely on talent, surely as it should be. As ever, I leave the blame firmly at one countries door. There is absolutely no denying we have adopted this new age culture I so passionately reject, and its influences plague my eyes and ears for far too many hours of the day. Only in America could a someone build what is now a mutli-million pound empire on an appearance in an online viral sex tape. I do however, have genuine hope that the people of Britain share my view that Americanised, dramatised freak show that has become an epidemic amongst our broadcasting must end, and the rating figures for the Voice consistently outstripped a declining BGT lead me to the belief that one day we will raise from America's lower regions to build an independent TV identity once more.

Sort of mini reviews/ broad comparisons/ differences of Shame, Tyrannosaur and The Hunger Games

2012-04-10T13:51:00.000-07:00

I'm fully aware that my taste in the arts, such as music and film, does not exactly fit in with the mainstream mould of my generation. This is something that is often highlighted when looking upon my embarrassingly vast film collection. It receives an almighty amount of punishment as droves of 'depressing/boring' titles waft by the viewers eyes. Samey boorish comedies and dreary predictable rom coms are certainly not well represented. Its left me with many awkward walkouts during the many film showings that have taken place in my room at university, as I struggle to accomodate what is a very varied taste amongst the usual collection of film goers. Despite my best efforts to continuously pick a film they might all enjoy. Anyway, the reason I am often brushing myself down after another barraging of unwarranted film related abuse is due to what I look for in a film, compared to the normal consumer. I often believe a film should evoke several emotions and leave a lasting effect, creating talking points from which you can discuss with your pals until your gums bleed. These personal necessities were met in the fairly recent past during my viewings of first Shame, and then Tyrannosaur.
Beginning with Shame, it basically depicts the struggles of any addiction often dismissed or ignored with a childish snigger, sex. In a world where sex is often glamourised to an almost hideous degree in the world of film and television, acclaimed director Steve McQueen chooses to take a somewhat alternative angle. The entirety of the 100 minutes follows the lead (Michael Fassbender) in his increasing struggles to keep a lid on his addiction after the unexpected arrival of his sister (Carey Mulligan). Throughout the film it will come as no surprise their are one or two scenes of a sexual nature. However, much in comparison to what you might expect from a big budget film these days, each and every one is monumentally cringeworthy, to the point where I was often viewing behind my hand, as if I was in fact watching some bloke's ribs being torn to shreds in the latest Saw. Its certainly not a DVD to pull out for a night in with the parents, or indeed on a first date. However, what it does remarkably well is leave you with a feeling of dread, that there are indeed several men and women who have to battle an addiction most would dismiss. The fact I went to view this film over a month ago and I'm still reminded of it on a daily basis is testament to the unashamedly brutal manner in which the films big issue is presented.
Moving onto Tyrannosaur, its safe to say I am firmly putting my foot on the 'taboo' accelerator. A directoral debut from the legend that is Paddy Considine, is based initially around a ageing, council estate living man (Peter Mullan) with a clear anger management issue, as he procedes to take his disappoints at the world around him out on the very living creatures that populate it. He meets, and finds solace in a devout Christian charity shop worker (Olivia Colman). Despite its initial intent on solving the issues in the mind of the male protagonist, the film is turned upside down in the second half as the female characters' issues are suddenly pushed to the forefront. The 90 minutes that this film lasts will quite possibly be thee most draining of your life. Almost every vile aspect of the human makeup rears its ugly face during several very uncomfortable scenes. Again, not a film to be pulling out for an easy sunday afternoon kick back. Summarising this film in one sentence, I would turn to my Mother, who labeled it 'the most traumatic film I've ever witnessed'. The distributors declined to post this quote on the DVD cover.
The two films listed above as both, in essence British films, British directed, (mainly) British led, with only a small budget. But what they lack in the dazzle and shine of your more action based blockbusters, it more than makes up for in the unrelentingly ruthless accuracy it presents issues facing thousands of people on a day to day basis, and often leaves you feeling slightly dirty to be a human being, as you sit at home and watch as all these problems infold before your eyes, to simply sit by and ignore them.
Bringing in a third title I also recently viewed can highlight an interesting comparison. The Hunger Games is the new kid on the block, looking to challenge Twilight and Harry Potter at the top of the teenage book to film convert sagas. As much as I enjoyed the film as a whole, I believe it missed a glorious opportunity to take it to the next level. Centered around a future world were the rich and poor are literally worlds apart, several teenagers are chosen from the lower class 'districts' to fight to the death on TV for the entertainment of the richer few. What the film really lacked however, was a real sense of day to day struggle that the populations of the districts had. The director (Gary Ross) seemed happy to settle for a scene were the lead female (Jennifer Lawrence) was, in a normal context, overly pleased to have a slice of bread, to display the desperation of thousands of people who struggle to live off the limited food resources at their disposal. Furthermore, their is a 45 second interlude from the battle where one of the districts begin to riot against the totalitarian security, displaying their displeasure at what their lives have become. Certainly if the film was to appeal to my tastes, it would have had to have taken a more Shame or Tyrannosaur-like approach, and really hammered the atrocities being imposed on these people everyday into the faces of the audience. Unfortunately, i fear these issues, and the emotions I would as a result want to bring forward, were sidelined in favour of a bit of action, probably due to its target audience. As much as this is done well during The Hunger Games, it just doesn't quite push my buttons as much as it might have done.
Despite my reservations on the American made, American led Hunger Games, its clear my fears from earlier are indeed true, as the rest of the party I viewed the film with were chuffed with the previous two hours of their lives, so the polite need to conform engrained in myself sealed my lips, and nodded in agreement.
However, I have now broken my silence and hopefully offered some reasoning behind my genuine lack of interest in the majority of mainstream modern film. Hoping, above all else, British cinema can continue to flourish in the way it does, tackling the real life problems that are often brushed under the carpet in favour of action, polish, and a general ignorance to the situations people have to battle through everyday, whilst also appealing to the likeminded as myself.

Time for Atheism to become the norm

2012-04-01T13:50:00.002-07:00

In a world were men and women can live their lives in complete equality, gay marriage is in the pipeline and humans of any race can wander the streets with the right to avoid having their ear bled at the sound of abuse being hurled towards them, I find it increasingly irritating that when approaching the social hotspot that is religion, its somewhat treated as a taboo. However, if, during a conversation, the issue of my religious beliefs is ever raised, I feel the social pressures that immediately bow my head and seal my lips. intelligencia of you all will have mustered, judging by the title, I am an atheist, and a proud one at that. Now, I'm no scientist, thus I am unable to unload any irreversible facts that would defy any comprehension of a god. However, with the aid of a few simple ideas, religion can be rendered completely non sensical.
Its clear looking at a few principles of the most well known religions around the UK that they don't exactly fit in with 21st Century social situation. Christianity is the first in the firing line. Its famous book of revelations, the Bible (obviously), is seen condoning the raping of women, plus its acceptance of slavery is not in line with what we expect in todays society. The Catholic faith, in all its homophobic glory, also disapproves of the use of any form of contraception. Which moves me nicely onto my next point. Religion is the focal point in the creation of many atrocities committed around the globe everyday. Going back to the Catholic's view on contraception, its been heavily linked with the continuing issues of AIDS in Africa. Their activists surge around the continent, preaching to people who have nothing to hold onto other than their religion, and precede to follow the rules and regulations imposed upon them. Furthermore, their are endless wars and conflicts that could be named that have religion at the root of the creation of the conflict. The endless tension between the Israelis and Palestine's is based upon their religious beliefs. In fact, World Wat Two itself can be argued to have only taken place due to a 'disagreement' on religion. It sounds simple but the old argument of 'if there was a god, bad things wouldn't happen', but it stands up to the facts.
I find it increasingly remarkable that people can accept the amazing scenarios science throws up day after day, yet move up the scale to how the Earth came about 'ooh well it must have been a man, sat on a cloud, waving his arms for six days.' This idea of a supernatural creationist for the Earth's makeup is an insult to hundreds of brains, past and present, that have consistently promoted scientifically sound theories for the Earth's creation. Besides, even if there was a god, it would still dismiss 99% of all religion to be utter nonsense.
Moving on, here are a few famous nanes. Darwin, Einstein, Chomsky, Hawking. The one thing this all star team of science or the human form have in common? Their promotion of Atheism of course. Now, why is it that the worlds most valued brains are all in harmony on their views of such a monumental question mark hanging over our evolution. During a talk I recently watched from the 'god' (for want of a better term) of modern atheism, Richard Dawkins, he brought up the idea of education and atheism. In 48 studies that had taken place, all but four had brought a positive correlation in terms of education and the non-believing in god. I'm not trying to say if your believe their is a god, your an imbecile.....on second thoughts.
But it brings about a good point of who religion appeals to in modern day inequalities. Many people that are attracted to religion are those of the poorer classes. They don't have opportunities or money to fall back on in life, instead choosing to use religion to fill that void. Which lead me to consider a couple of thought provoking options. Whats more important? The exposure of the world's longest running con, or the comfort, motivation and self-belief people gain from following their chosen religion. I quickly dismissed this idea though, as I don't believe those characteristics gained can dismiss the disgusting sins each and every religion commit on a daily basis.
So, I hope I have managed to dismantle a few closets filled with wannabe proud Atheists. Religion is wrong, and you have absolutely every right to display your displeasure free from the social traps that other political hotspots uphold.

21st Century brings UK Identity Crisis

2012-03-17T07:42:00.006-07:00

After watching the recent Channel 4 documentary 'Make Bradford British' many questions about Britain's national identity were raised, without really coming to any meaningful conclusions. I've sat and considered what I believe to be British identity, old and new, and on reflection can fully understand why no clear identity was consented.
Leading up to the turn of the century, every single one of the previous seven or eight decades could be categorised by the type of people that populated them or one big event. 'The swinging sixties, World War Two in the 1940s or the great depression of the 1920s. These events shaped and optimised the people that populated them. Over the past twenty years or so, I would argue Britain has lost these identities, being left to scrabble around on the floor attempted to piece it back together for some time. The vastly opposing opinions on what it really means to be British in the year 2012 have left a grey area on the actual answer.
When i look at Britain today, one word immediately springs to mind. America. The rimming of the named country over the past decade has lead to the complete transformation of our younger generations into little yanks themselves. I flick on my television to see copy and pasted reality TV mashing my brain to the mush it resembles today. The Only Way Is Essex, or TOWIE as I'm informed its referred to, is now the pinnacle of what many young 'hipsters' aspire to. The silicon drenched, barely literate tarts are coupled with the ignorant, arrogant cretins that are the blokes create a programme that I physically cannot view without regurgitating my previous meal. The viewers offspring are then merely card and copies of these disgusting human beings. Fed on a diet of turkey twizzlers and the X Factor, the 'Jeremy Kyle' generation and its cycle of idiocy show no signs of letting up. Britain was once famed for its place at he very top in the creation of the arts. Film, music and the press are areas we could all once upon a time claim to set the standard in. The implementing of programmes such as TOWIE have diluted this quality, which now takes a back seat.
On the other major issues I hold with modern UK society sits at the other end of the scale. Pushing my hatred of the Royal Family to one side for another day, its clear that the UK was, once upon a time, a true world force. The British empire spread our identity all over the world, and for such a small geographical area, its certainly something to respect. The problem appears when, in 2012, many in high society still cling onto this patriotic view that we have a throne in place around the world table. We often display this 'superiority' by engaging in wars symptomatic of that very old empire. Attempting to stamp our cultures on countries that simple don't care for it. It's these sort of phoney wars that breed the very hatred of us amongst the Far East that we are so terrified of in society today, and thus could be linked back to the root causes of racial inequality.
During the named Channel 4 documentary, all of the participants took part in the British Citizenship test, one which all arriving Brits to be must complete before living on our island. With help from one other person, I got 11 correct. Out of 24. The reason for this was the quite remarkable and ridiculous question thrown at me to test my true Britishness. How many parliamentary constituencies are there? In which two places to the European Parliament meet? How many people aged 19 and below are there in the UK?
My answer to all these was, I absolutely could not care less. This provides the question, what should you be asked to prove your loyalty to this country. Recite the vast, illustrious history that has made the UK what it is today? Access to your community, so when you do finally live amongst your British counterparts, you are aware of the basic day to day activities you may require to get on with life? Clearly, the writers of this test disagree, and it only adds to the confusion of what Britain really is these days.
There is no doubt that Britain can hold its head high most other world nations in its promotion of one ideology. Multi-culturalism. Whilst 'Make Bradford British' exposed issues of racism still prominent in many ethnically high regions, I am aware of the leading light we are in attempts for racial equality in comparison to many other major European nations. However this can link back to traditional value we seem to have clung onto , the idea of equality. Freedom of speech, acceptance of difference and eccentricity all fall into this category, one we can still hold our heads high when promoting.
Despite this, its absolutely correct to confirm a lot of work is to be done. Hiccups have occurred over the past couple of years or so to set back our strive for true equality. The rise of the BNP a couple of years ago as Brits used immigrants as a scapegoat to increasing financial issues. The london riots of last year have re-ignited conflict with the working class, or 'chavs' have they have been affectionately labeled.
All in all, the rebuilding of our broken economy can hold the beacon of also destroying these social barriers, that over the past few years have been rebuilt as Britain remains afraid of fully embracing a multi cultural society, which now, must be at the forefront of reestablishing common ground amongst all Brits, of all ethnicities. Until then, British identity will continue to ride around the spagetti junction that is the conflicting ideas of what exactly being British is.

KONY 2012- One Huge Can of Worms Spilt all over the World

2012-03-10T11:59:00.001-08:00

If you were to approach almost any user of Facebook or twitter all of three days ago asked for information on Joseph Kony, the vast majority would simply gaze on, slackening their jaw, as if they were looking straight past you. However, after a viral video campaign from charity KONY2012, the man himself has become somewhat of a political celebrity, with every man and his dog voicing their opinion on the atrocities unfolding in Africa. Simultaneously, the people in the know have been exclaiming somewhat different opinions, and after some boning up and deep thought, I've drawn my own conclusions as to what KONY 2012 could mean for everyone.
First things first, lets congratulate the K2012 charity for their exceptional, Natural born killers style marketing campaign as they thrust what was a merely a back burner of a world issue into an explosion of controversy in only a matter of hours. But no, they have not done this entirely legitimately.
It's true that Joseph Kony is no longer a resident of Uganda, in fact nor has he been for six years. Much of the 30 minute documentary you will have witnessed, is taken from archive footage over the past decade. What this means is that any military action, something which K2012 firmly supports, would spread across four African countries. Now, I'm of the opinion that sticking you beak where in other people's affairs is generally pretty disastrous. I could name several conflicts we've intervened with, or caused, and I really do struggle to find a successful outcome in any one of them. Furthermore, supporting of the cause to bring Kony to justice throws all manner of issues into the hot steaming pot of the pickle that is Africa. Put simply, the Ugandan government, an establishment we will have to work side by side with to bring down Kony, is not exactly a shining light on the subject of equality and fairness. On the contrary, they have a record of rape, murder and totalitarianism themselves. Consider these cliches before you give over your credit card details. The enemy of the enemy is still not our friend. On the other hand, should we support the lesser of two evils. Make up your own mind.
When I first witnessed the video the other day, I found it deeply saddening that awareness of the problems in Africa were not conscious in many of the British public's lives. Its certainly something I've been aware of for a while, and whilst I don't even pretend to know the solution to Africa's issues, I can at categorically state that bringing Joseph Kony to justice will not suddenly transform Africa into a model of western society. Its important to remember Kony is a bi-product of issues on the continent, not the cause of them.
I understand the nature of this article has been somewhat cynical up to this point, in which case I will not attempt to shine a slightly more positive spin on another angle to the K2012 campaign. There is no doubt that awareness to problems in Africa should be much higher on the foreign policy of many western countries than it currently is. I would firmly distance its scenario with that of the middles east, as I believe Africa is a continent which is willing to open its arms to our help, many of its people are in general peril through no fault of their own, and change to a more democratic, fair state would a good move. Much in contrast to the western shunning countries of the middle east, I will name Oil station A, Oil station B and so on.
The principle of attempting to re-balance the world's priorities is something K2012 should be applauded for. On the face of it, clearly they are trying to go a good thing, and very possibly the world may remember the said video as the beginning of the end of cruelty of massacre across Africa. That doesn't mean however, that sending over some American soldiers to throw their weight around will result in Africa being a better place, they must naturally, and gradually come to the conclusion of solidarity amongst each other with the western world simply holding its hand, forcing its muscle.
One final point I'd like to make is the impact on our very country such a viral display of people power could make. I can't stress the discontent I feel in this country of ours when I see angry remarks made about people who strike, or protest against things they don't believe are right. Only thirty years ago, it was a cardinal sin to anything but. The Thatcher years brought a togetherness of many thousands of people who weren't willing to be treated so disgraceful by the government. It was people power personified. Gradually, Britain has lost that fighting spirit. The recent public sector strikes were largely turned back on its participants by the capitalist rich media. The minorities fought for the better of everyone, only to be ridiculed by the remaining few who are willing to bow down to any disgraceful acts the current government may implement. I am hoping, that this campaign can re-invigorate that very fighting spirit Britain was once famous for. Any success in bringing down Kony could well be linked back to voices of any one of the ordinary people who had decided to jump on this bandwagon of justice. If all else fails, Britain will now see throw down their copy of the sun, and join their colleagues and join in the reaffirmation of of a traditional value too hastily forgotten by so many.

A Short Story in Polari

2012-02-29T07:53:00.003-08:00

Whilst sitting in on a lecture on endangered dialects of England today, we were introduced to a rather fascinating tongue developed in the 1950s. Polari, used mainly in London, is on the decline in this country, however unusually, the dying out of this dialect could have a positive spin on the way society has grown due to its initial target audience. Polari was a secret collection of terms used by the homosexual community in order to communicate with one another without exposing themselves to the rest of a judgmental society. Our social advancements in the past half a century mean many gay men and woman can roam the streets safe in the knowledge the vast majority are fully aware, and accepting, of their difference in sexual orientation. This largely removes the need for a secret gay language to banded around major cities. Scanning through a list of words in Polari, we were asked to create a short story based on these terms, a few of which you might recognise. This was my effort.....(ill provide a translated version at the end)

A bibi AC/DC were taking a casual stroll through the park. They were encountered by a todd chicken in drag, ogling them from a Ajax bush, on the troll for a new trade. His pulsating, bulging basket becoming even more prominent by the second, it was clear he was ready to charver them both. So, after removing his ogle fakes, the meshigener crimper half of the AC/DC approached the dilly boy, instigating a barney. A camp fracas was underway. It was clear that despite the balonie, naff nature of the fight, the other half of the AC/DC stood alamo to her partner, after his 'butch' act of heroism. The scuffle continued, resembling somewhat more of two blue hoofers contested by two bitches, judging by passers by throwing dinarly as they sauntered by, or others sitting down with some bevvys to enjoy the hilarity of the situation. Ends, lyles, luppers and lallie tappers flayed in all directions. Suddenly, a Dona Charpering omi appeared, laughing from ear to ear at such a Fantabulous sight. She attempted to cackle along with the half of the AC/DC not involved in the Barney, however she was unimpressed by negative attenion being drawn. After the cackle had ended, the dolly doni charpering omi took a bold move, ending the bout with a swift swish of her truncheon. An so the two parties collected themselves, and headed off in their own directions. The AC/DC shuffled, heads down, straight to the nearest bungery for some bevvies and jarry. Whilst the national handbag collecting cod chicken, brushing his clobber down, would have to settle for continued attempts to seek cottaging with other homy polones.

Now, this is the translated version.

A bibi (bisexual) AC/DC (couple) were taking a casual stroll through the park. They were encountered by a todd (standalone) chicken (young man) in drag (clothes of the other gender), ogling (staring/admiring) them from a Ajax (nearby) bush, on the troll (lookout) for a new trade (sex partner). His pulsating, bulging basket (the bulge of male genitals through clothes) becoming even more prominent by the second. It was clear he was ready to charver (shag) them both. So, after removing his ogle fakes (glasses), the meshigener (crazy) crimper (hairdresser) half of the AC/DC (couple) approached the dilly boy (male sex worker), instigating a barney (fight). A camp (exaggerated) fracas was underway. It was clear that despite the balonie (rubbish), naff (dull) nature of the coming together, the other half of the AC/DC (couple) stood alamo (hot for him/her) to her partner, after his 'butch' (masculine) act of heroism. The scuffle continued, resembling somewhat more of two blue (gay) hoofers (dancers) contested by two bitches (effeminate or passive gay man), judging by passers by throwing dinarly (money) as they sauntered by, or others sitting down with some bevvys (drinks) to enjoy the hilarity of the situation. Ends (hair), lyles (legs), luppers (fingers) and lallie tappers (feet) flayed in all directions. Suddenly, a Dona (female) Charpering omi (police officier) appeared, laughing from ear to ear at such a fantabulous (wonderful) sight. She attempted to cackle (gossip) with the half of the AC/DC not involved in the barney (fight), however she was unimpressed by negative attenion being drawn. After the cackle (gossip) had ended, the dolly (pretty) doni charpering omi (police officier) took a bold (brave) move, ending the bout with a swift swish of her truncheon. And so, the two parties collected themselves, and headed off in their own directions. The AC/DC (couple) scampered, heads down, straight to the nearest bungery (pub) for some bevvies (drinks) and jarry (food). Whilst the national handbag collecting (dole) cod (vile) chicken (young man), brushed down his clobber (clobber), forced to settle for continued attempts to seek cottaging (looking for sex in above cottage) with other homy polones (effeminate gay men).

Capello Resignation Disaster for Euro Hopes

2012-02-19T10:35:00.001-08:00

The dust has settled from the latest storm at the FA's headquarters. Only a few months before the England football team embark on yet another attempt to end what is now 45 years of hurt, Fabio Capello, the man at the helm for the entirety of the qualifying campaign for this years European Championships, resigned as the fat cats sat at the top of the FA tower ruled over manager authority to sack John Terry as captain until his case for alleged racial abuse to QPR defender Anton Ferdinand has been heard, against Capello's will.

Setting the whole Terry racism case to one side, (the only point to which I will add is 'innocent until proven guilty') Capello ending his reign so close to Euro 2012 is nothing short of a disaster when you look at his record as manager, and look ahead to who might take his place.

Whilst 'Don' Fabio never instilled the passion in his team nor the fans to really win over the sceptics during his tenure, his record stands up against any manager of recent past. In fact, a winning percentage of 66.7% in all matches makes him one of England's most successful managers of all time. Let's not forget, the previous manager had failed at the very first hurdle, as 'Brolly Wally' Steve McClaren failed to lead England to the latter stages of Euro 2008. Propped up by domestic and cup success in Italy, Spain and in Europe's elite club competition, no doubt Capello was the right man to lead a recently world champion toppling England to a chance at Euro glory.

However, thrust upon this side full of new, exciting talent will be one of a few possible managers all with there own slight pitfalls that ultimately leave England in a no hope situation for Euro 2012.

Stuart Pearce has been given charge for the friendly against Holland, one of only three games left before the big kick off in Ukraine on 11th of June. Many people believe he is in prime position to pick up where the previous manager left off, due to his role as assistant to Capello and upbringing of many of the England's new stars as under-21s manager. However, his managerial skills with the under-21s have not brought about reams of success. On the contrary, performances with a squad packed with youthful exuberance at the 2011 under-21 European Championships was, well, appalling. Two draws and one defeat dismissed England from the tournament at the group stage. Furthermore, Pearce received plenty of deserved criticism for the defensive, expressionless style in which he set the team up to play.

Unfortunately for England, Pearce seems the only viable option until after Euro 2012, practically writing off the slim hopes we once had of winning the tournament. The only other candidate worth giving credence to appears to be one Harry Redknapp. I, like anyone else with a modicum of knowledge of current footballing affairs, fully expect Redknapp to be England boss as of August 2012, but not a moment earlier. His attachments with Tottenham are running too deep for him to jump side with a job two thirds complete. Leaving the club with champions league qualification and an FA cup in the trophy cabinet would leave a rather sweeter taste.

It seems the only option then, is appoint Pearce, slump out of the Euro's win less, hastily hand over the reigns to Harry, and underwrite the past two years of planning overlooked by Capello. We wouldn't have it any other way though, would we?