ITS RIGHT TO SPEAK UR HEART.. SO I WRITE TO LET IT SPEAK ...

I JUST KNEW ! Part 38

2018-04-11T07:23:00.002-07:00

“What if I say NO ?” I asked.

He took a chair and sat down placing his elbows on his thigh bending front. “It’s completely your choice; I just…… I feel it’ll be great growing old together as a couple. When I look at you, I ….” And he paused uncertain of words he needs to arrange in his sentence. I felt why am I playing the evil one, what’s wrong with me, it’s just that I wanted him to say that he loves me and then we could have thought of marriage sometime later.

I said “Sanskar you are rushing yourself to marriage, I mean what if post our marriage you find someone and you fall in love”

he countered it “Shreya this possibilities will always be there no matter whom you marry or I do…”

Oh come on sanskar why aren’t you just saying that you love me, wait does he loves me or just I am a good option I thought and I said “I need to go home….” And left back to his room to change my clothes.

Sanskar followed me and asked “ You like someone .. someone else?” I stopped at his door and said “NO……. I need change” I moved inside the room and he closed the door while I locked it from inside. There was silence, for a minute. Sanskar was standing at the door and he said “Shreya its always a couples decision whether to stick with the marriage or … otherwise.”

And I said “But to decide to marry someone, you should be in love with that person. Or at least like him/her to that extent.”

I changed my clothes and opened the door he was still at the door, he appeared very serious. I moved past him, he stopped me holding my bag and said “You mean to say you don’t like me to extent of marring me? However you like me enough that you allowed me to kiss you right!…” and as I turned, I saw him angry for the first time, he continued “What were you doing all the while, confusing me? Making all those blank calls, asking me to drop you… you said you like meeting me … ” there was a pause “Or maybe I am a fool, I misinterpreted everything……I ,… sorry” he gulped and his eyes turned red and expression changed. I felt sorry for doing all the drama. Awee he looks so cute when he says sorry .

He released the grip of my bag and turned to other side, standing there I dint knew how to fix the situation. I pulled his shoulder back to turn him to my side and when he did, I held his face and kissed his lips, he kissed me back it continued for a little while.

As we stopped I Said “I love you… I really do , I am sorry … I just wanted you ….I mean I wanted to know if you love me ….. There is some order you see … first we fall in love then we think of marriage right ” and he said “You shouldn’t have kissed me then … I was planning to do this after marriage” he laughed and prompted “You reversed the order…… Shreya I love you… I thought you already know.. I am not a person who plans all this, I prefer being practical.. I thought you will understand.”

I raised my eyebrows and started to walk towards the entrance gate, “Take your office bag too, I hope you aren’t forgetting anything this time” he said following me.

“Yes I have everything..” I said and smiled taking my bag, he took it back and said “I’ll help you, too many bags huhh… by the way can we repeat what we did just now before you leave…”he pouted his lips.

I looked at him and narrowed my eyes “No, I have already spoiled the order …. I won’t till we get married”. He helped me with the direction and hugged me before I started my scooter I bid him bye and left to home ….

I JUST KNEW ! Part 37

2018-04-11T07:17:00.005-07:00

And did something really stupid I opened the door and went back to the kitchen……

Sanskar was arranging glasses in the shelf when I asked him “I think this fits well, how do I look?”

***

Sanskar turned back to look at me, and he stood still for a while, I was standing around 8 steps from him, I repeated “How do I look you dint answer.” He smiled and oscillated his head 3 time and said “amm ……hot and gorgeous”. I laughed and said “I felt I was looking sexy”

Now he took 6 steps towards me and folded his hands saying “You look sexy in sari, there is a difference”. I repeated “Sari ” and he nodded smiling. We were looking at each other for a minute saying nothing.

Suddenly I guess, I became aware of the circumstances as he further took a step towards me, he was standing too close and my mind started racing with multiple probabilities, what did I say, why did I use the word sexy and what it may mean to him, how is he going to react I took a step back I started to feel nervous. Sanskar’s expressions were not appearing normal, he was breathing in an intense pattern, he again moved a step towards me and I took another step back to maintain distance, at the edge of becoming panic, I asked in a shrill voice “What are you up to?”

He said “Looks like you have guessed it right!” this time he was quick, he took his right hand around my waist and with left he held my arm. I widened my eyes Oh god is he going to kiss me. No….. why is it happening now….I started shivering this would be the first time….. I am not sure, if I was ready for it . Should I stop him?, half of my mind wanted to go with the flow and rest was confused. Just to calm down my mind,I took a deep breath and I closed my eyes. I said to myself I love him, let it happen. I felt his exhalations on my chin, he moved his face slowly to my left and whispered “Marry me !!!!”

As soon as he said this, he released the grip and took a few steps back. I opened my eyes… in shock . He stood there folding his hands.

I said “Did you just say …..Marry me?” , he nodded.

I was still in shock, I walked few steps left and then right and then asked him again “You said marry me ?” he smiled and said “Yes” I shook my head in a sense of confusion “You …….you just proposed for marriage , Isn’t this too fast……” and he said giggling “I feel we should have been married by now.”

“What if I say NO ?” I asked.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 36

2018-04-09T06:58:00.002-07:00

After few minutes we stopped before a 3 story house, It was huge and beautiful, suddenly looking at the name plate I realized that he got me to his home. While he parked his bike and turned to find me still waiting outside the gate.

He came back and took the back seat of my vehicle and said “Can you please come ? I have got gifts for you, chocolates from Singapore, take them along” and I said “I cant, I am sorry ” with a angry voice. He turned my bike key on from behind and asked me to start, he was too close, I pushed him back with my elbow. And he said “Sorry, That I dint inform you I know I could have got things along with me and given you at the mall,but…. I was confused” I started the bike and parked it near his bike, I said “I am not coming in, get me the chocolates and I will leave”.

He turned towards me and said “Because I am alone at home?” I didn’t get down from my bike and said “Yes that’s one point.” And he prompted “Then I should be scared to call you home rather, you are trained in martial arts right?” I laughed and said “Yes but basics” and he replied “Shreya I don’t even know basic defense, just come I have neighbors don’t stand here mounted on your vehicle…. please”

And I followed him in he asked me to sit pointing towards the sofa in the hall. While he went in and got a packet, and handed over to me, I opened it, to find a pair of T shirts, a trouser and a hot pant in it, there was another 2 box one with chocolates and another consisted some cosmetics. I looked at him and smiled asking “You only mentioned chocolates” again I started looking at the casual wears they were very nice, I was impressed and happy at the same time, Sanskar was smiling all the while I again said “are they all for me” I am sure he noticed my eyes sparkling in amazement.

He asked “Did you like them ? I bought randomly I am not sure if they are right size”. I said “the trouser and T shirt are of my size but this one” holding the hot pant I said “I don’t know plus…….. Sanskar I don’t wear this short clothes”

He said “Ohh…. Well, keep it anyway ” he stood and said “I cant wear it you see, But I ..”

I said “You ? can give it to someone else.. like your girlfriend” he laughed and paused then said “Just try it once whenever you like and .. I … it will look great on you.” “How do you know” I prompted. he said “Everyone has imagination” he moved towards the kitchen and asked me to join.

The hall ended at the entrance of kitchen – dining.The kitchen was very well furnished “your house is beautiful, which interior designer did you contact” I asked and he said “My Aunt , My mom’s sister she designed the hall and kitchen ” I suddenly stopped to see that Sanskar was arranging lunch at the dining table, he looked at me and said “I hope you like Italian I made pasta for us” I was shocked “You cooked ? When?” and he said “Yes! This morning” there was beeps from the microwave. I was awestruck “I dint knew you know cooking…” and he smiled plating the pasta he kept two glasses and poured some juice and asked me to sit, I was too hungry to ask further questions the smell of food was mouthwatering. I just sat and as Sanskar took his chair we started digging in. I complimented “You are super chef, it’s Yumm”

He said “I am glad you liked it”. I asked “what’s this juice, I mean is it some kind of mock tail. It’s nice” and he answered “It’s a concoction, mixture of a lot of ingredients, a secret recipe ” and he winked.

Thanking him for the awesome lunch, I asked him the directions of washroom, he guided me. There was a narrow lane from the kitchen which was also connected to hall’s another end and also to his room, where there was an attached wash room. His room was big, I mean bigger than mine. He left me in his room and went back to kitchen, There was a study table and number of books on a shelf it was more like a cupboard, he had trophies and music collections there and on the other wall there was a guitar hung and posters of Dwane Johnsons and Iron Man. I left my purse and the gifts on the bed and rushed to the loo.

When I was back I checked myself in the mirror and brushed my hair again, I recollected his lines Just try it once whenever you like and.. I … it will look great on you. Locking the door I picked one of the T shirt and the short pants and tried them on. And did something really stupid I opened the door and went back to the kitchen……

Sanskar was arranging glasses in the shelf when I asked him “I think this fits well, how do I look?”

I JUST KNEW ! Part 35

2018-04-09T06:54:00.000-07:00

After a little discussion we decided to go on my vehicle to the Nike’s showroom.

I started the bike and he joined saying “What exactly are you planning to buy”.

I said “A wrist watch or perfume or something else which I like.. I am not very sure.”

, Mean while when I was driving I asked Sanskar “Are you comfortable?” and he answered “You have a license right!” I turned back making a face and he teased me “Madam look ahead, It’s a traffic prone area” and he was laughing. I was again annoyed as soon as I got a little clear road, I raised my accelerator, Sanskar was sitting too freely and he fell on my back with a reaction of my acceleration and I hit the brake again the same thing happened, He asked “What are you trying to do? You will hit some innocent person” and I answered “You are hitting my innocent back, and Yes I don’t know how to drive..” he started laughing again and said “looks like someone is in a mood to fight” and I said “No I am not” suddenly he held my shoulder and smiled saying “Calm down my fighter ”we drove for another 10 mins and I reached the showroom.

We started checking stuff randomly nothing appeared very appealing to me then sanskar asked when is his birthday I said “coming week”. “Can I suggest something?” He asked

I nodded and he said “Uncle play table tennis right; every weekend, why don’t you gift him a nice water bottle the sipper one which most of the sports person carry and a hand towel and a pair of shoe” I raised my eyebrows I wondered hand towel water bottle and started making weird face, Sanskar moved ahead to another section and picked the Items in a cart and handed over to me he also picked a tie. I was still confused at the counter while He said “don’t worry there is nothing like gift item just give these to your dad he’ll like em’ ” I said “I am okay with tie, rest he already have” and he replied “You mean to say your dad don’t have perfume and watch” I said “no its not like that, offo”. He smiled and said “Come on he is your dad, give him something which he can use...”

I felt he is right and I bought them all while returning back to the mall, as Sanskar’s had to pick his bike.

We were discussing about what all I could do for my Dad’s birthday, He enquired about my birthday and then I told him that mom somehow got to know that I was coming to meet him. He said “Aunty is cool don’t worry, plus we are just friends right”

I said “Yes,but ….”.and he asked “But ?” We reached the mall, with out saying anything Sanskar got down and then moved towards his bike and started. I shouted “HEY LEAVING TO HOME ?”

He got his bike parallel to mine and said “Are we not hungry it 2:00 pm, follow me ”

And we drove slowly in parallel, we were talking and chasing each other, it was fun I never did anything like that neither did I ever followed someone without knowing the destination.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 34

2018-04-06T06:45:00.001-07:00

In next half an hour Sanskar got mango juice for my mom and helped mom buy Saree, Ofcourse his selection were good, but the thing annoyed me more was they both were talking to each other and ignoring my opinions. Once mumma’s shopping was done She said “Alright Sanskar, thank you It was great to have you along ” and she turned to me and said “Shall we leave?” and started walking. I stood and looked at sanskar who was smiling, and made a sad face and walked behind.

Mom said “Dad just called and asked when we’ll be joining him we can have lunch along he is in Utsav the restaurant near by ” I looked at my watch and then at my mom “Mumma my Purpose was to buy something for Papa, and ..” she said “For his birthday?” I said “Yes !!” and she asked “Are you sure, I thought you only came to meet Sanskar here.”

We both stopped teraflops of thoughts started in my head did sanskar tell her,something how can he, how did she , oh she is very angry with me, I am so sorry ma and I said “I am sorry mom.. I couldn’t tell you …. I was confused how to put forward thing to you, I dint knew when I started having feelings for him .. I … but I did came to buy something for papa, I just asked him to join..” Mom expressions changed from being serious now she was smiling and said “Does he know you like him?” and I blinked in shock, she continued “I saw him last night in the car while he dropped you, look shreya I believe my daughter’s word it’s just that I wanted you to be true to me nothing apart from that” and I said “There is nothing serious between us, we just are friends… nothing more as of now” she showed me her palm and said “you just said you like him, you have feelings for him?” I gulped “I am leaving with your dad, for lunch you can go and buy his the gift with sanskar who is still standing and I guess waiting for someone ” said my mom pointing towards him.

Mom turned and was about to leave I said “Mom Please don’t tell anything to dad” making a puppy face “You are going to detail me everything, and that puppy face don’t work with me ” I nodded. She left dad was at the entrance “Aren’t you coming doll” and mom answered my behalf “Her friend is here, they may have lunch later.” And they both waved bye to me.

My phone beeped while I was standing at the entrance….

Sanskar : I am still near the elevator, Have you left?

Me : I hate you !

Sanskar : Seriously J

Me : wait I am coming

Sanskar : Naa, lets go to Nike’s Showroom

Me : Ok, I have got my bike you get your car. I will follow you.

( I texted moving towards the parking)

Sanskar : Well lets go on your bike, or my bike – Save petrol

Me : ?

Sankar : I am behind you.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 33

2018-04-06T06:42:00.003-07:00

While driving towards the central mall, Mom was talking about our maid, then about some festival which was supposed to arrive and few other things and I was unable to focus on what she was saying. I was continuously going with Okays and worrying how to manage the situation I should have called off the plan or I should have texted sanskar before starting the bike, Oh mom would have seen the text message. My phone was in mom’s hand while I was driving. I was also worried thinking what if she check my phone; I hope I don’t get any call/text from sanskar meanwhile.

As we reached the parking of the mall, I asked mom to go ahead while I would get my bag checked and join her; it dint work, she said “I can wait, we shall go together”. I got my hand bag checked at the security and we took the elevator as soon as we got in the mall, Mom started checking the showrooms and the arrangements and I quickly texted Sanskar.

ME: I am so sorry, Please cancel the plan for shopping my mom came along, I couldn’t ask her to stay back. Sorry again.

It was 11:05 AM, I wondered Sanskar might have reached the place, then I thought may be he didn’t or else he would have contacted me.

Mom took my wrist and moved towards outlet of Shopper stop and started checking out some tops for me, I was consistently checking my mobile but there was no message appearing from Sanskar. Suddenly I started worrying about him I texted him, as mom got busy selecting the best out of 4 tops she selected earlier.

Me : Hey are you alright, please reply.

It was 11:40 am, I started to panic and called him while mom was very near to me. There were a fes rings, and suddenly he picked the call. My pulse came to normal.

Sanskar : Hello beautiful.

ME : Hey are you okay, I thought you might have reached already, I was worried.

Suddenly my mom asked “What happened?, has your friend arrived ?”

And the line went dead.

As I turned towards my mom I saw Sanskar standing behind my mom. This was further More scary situation than I imagined. My jaw dropped and eyes popped out when he greeted my mom.

Sanskar said “Hello Aunty ji, How are you ?” Mom casually replied to him “I am very fine Beta, How are your parents” and they went into a conversation as if I wasn’t existing there Sanskar was compliment my mom about her dressing sense and My mom was smiling all the while, I wondered has she forgotten that their family earlier reject her daughter? Just to gather her attention I said “Mom, I will just go and try these two, while you both can continue” I picked the top’s she selected and was about to move towards the changing room, Sanskar Said “Mmmm Shreya right !” I turned towards him and said “Yes” Wow what an amazing actor is he.

He said “How are you, how’s work and everything?” and I joined him in acting I replied “Yeah very well” with a little ignorance. And walked towards the changing room.

I tried both of them I had a green one and another maroon I clicked pictures in both, The Green Top appeared more decent to me, while the frills on sleeves with maroon one were too frizzy I left the maroon at the basket outside the changing room and got along the green top.

When I came back to my astonishment mom and Sanskar were still chatting like buddies, and I thought I only left you both for like 8 to 10 mins I heard mom saying “Her friend was about to come, she dint tell me who- may be someone new from her office” while Sanskar replied saying “then I must be staying aunty, let’s see how she looks” and they both laughed.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 32

2018-04-06T03:47:00.001-07:00

Oct – 11- 2014

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”

-Paulo Coelho

Well I agree with that when I think of yesterday but today, may be the universe was… but my mom wasn’t ….

I was all dressed up in red Tshirt and black jeans I curled up my hair to look as pretty as I could. When you are in love may be this happens. You tend to love yourself more, you pamper yourself for someone. You take care of all those little things which you never wondered about earlier.

It was10 am- Saturday and I wasn’t lazy at all, I checked dad he wasn’t in his room so I called him and told him that I am going out for lunch with a friend and then I texted Sanskar.

“Good morning, I will be at the Central mall Begumpet by around 11:00 Am . See you there J”

Soon I received a reply “I will reach by 10 :45 J”.

My mom suddenly appeared and asked “where are you planning to go” I answered “I am going for shopping Ma, you want something from the Central Mall?”

She said “Yes I will buy a kurta for you and a Saree for myself wait for 10 mins, I will get ready I am planning to buy either blue or orange saree this time.”

And I had no idea how to control the situation, “Mom why are you getting ready?” I asked as if I dint knew; however I acted very well. Which didn’t work anyway; She was better in acting you see. She said “Beta, Its been long we two went out for shopping. Let’s have some fun; we will also have some snacks. ” My jaw dropped and she was ready in no time. And she said “My treat..”

She walked and I followed her and I said “actually a friend was joining me, so we both thought of going for shopping” She prompted “Who Shivani, ” I said no shaking my head she asked “Sailaja” again I shake my head then she asked a few more name I continued shaking my head till I reached parking. I thought only if Dad was here, I could have asked him to take mom along with him somewhere, can I ask mom to just stay back, naah not a good idea. Mom Prompted “When did you give your activa for servicing last time?” I took a cloth which I used to keep near a plant in our garden and dusted my scooty, It had been sometime I used my bike.

As I started my bike Mom sat behind and asked “You dint tell me which friend of your is joining us?” I said “You will see ” and I started the bike.

And she said “ I am eager to see..”

I JUST KNEW ! Part 31

2018-03-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

As always before I could ring the doorbell my Mom opened the door, I was a little scared when she looked behind, Because Sanskar was still at the entrance gate and she could have seen him luckily she dint notice and started asking me about the party and food.

Dad asked me if I have taken photographs of my friends at the party I said “Papa there was a friend who got a DLSR he was clicking pictures I will ask him to share and will show you ”

He said “Very well, you know you look like a little doll in frock ahh my princes is all grown up I need to find a prince for her ” I smiled dad you did found one and I mislead you, my bad

Both mom and dad asked me to sleep and take rest I enquired if they are done with the dinner “What about dinner did you people eat?”. Mom said “we went out for having dinner, and came back recently like an hour ago.”

My phone beeped and I greeted goodnight to both of them and left to my room, I locked the door back and checked my phone it was again Sanskar

Sanskar : Madam you forgot your bag in the car. There is a lot of stuff in it.

9:52pm

I made a call to him as soon as I checked the message.

Me : Hey I ..

Sanskar: You were in hurry right ! (Laughing)

Me : Ofcourse if you haven’t done all that drama.

Sanskar : Well I am happy I did all that drama, at least I got some information.

Me : Okayyy….

Sanskar : you can have your bag if you want I am still at your gate.

Me : what? You dint leave?

Sanksar : I dint feel like, Are you coming to take your bag.

Me : I cant, I will take it tomorrow.

Sanskar : you sure ?

Me : yea, when can you come to the mall.

Sanskar : which mall, I thought I will pick you up

The car was started, there was music of reversing the car.

Me : so you have started, I just heard the music of your car.

Sanskar : Yep, which mall you dint answer.

Me: I ll text you; please don’t talk on phone while driving bye good night

Sanskar : Hey , hey hold

Me : Yes

Sanskar : Thanks for …. I am ..

Me : Thank you now drop the call.

I dropped the call and started jumping, I had no other way to put off all my excitement. I was very happy and I danced till I felt breathless ness and fell on my bed. “What an amazing day it was ” I said to myself.

I was thinking about the next day, and started planning how to put forward my feelings for Sanskar. I can’t directly tell him that I love him. I need to understand him a little more. Definitely he too likes me. Should I wait for him to tell me about his feeling rather than me opening up. Hawww I just love the time; the time I get to spend with him.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 30

2018-03-10T09:22:00.002-08:00

He stopped the car and said “First you have to tell me why you want to meet me.”

I made a weird face and said “My dad can come out and see us any moment, this is not funny”

He appeared determined But I had no guts to put an escape to my feeling “I am not leaving with out knowing, why we talk on phone , why we meet and what we are doing in my car at this late night” his words were very true.

I raised my eyebrows and said “You are dropping me home, & I am going to home. ”

He kept his eye on the gate of my home the lights were on, and said “That’s how it appears but I don’t feel, it’s exactly how it appears”

I scratched my head and then tried to open the gate the gate was locked “Please open the lock” I requested Sanskar, he rejected nodding his head.

Now things appeared a little scary to me. I asked “Whats going in your mind I am not understanding anything. Please open, its late I need to go home.”

Now he turned towards me with a very serious look on his face, “Remember you wore a beautiful multicolored saree on my cousin’s Wedding ” I nodded and he continued “When You looked at me, that day I have no clue what happened to me. I felt like I wanted to ….” There was a pause “I wished I could talk to you, but your cousins were with you all the time ” I looked at him I felt like Is he saying that he likes me, Is he going to propose to me Or Am I misinterpreting.

My phone started ringing we both looked at my phone. It was my dad, Now I looked at sanskar and he signaled me to take it. I lifted and answered “Papa I am near home will be there in few mins” I kept the phone and sanskar was again smiling at me “Why you want meet?” he asked again

I said “because we are friends, friends can go shopping together”

Sanskar asked “Why are we friends”

I replied “Because you are a nice guy”

he hit his forehead with his palm and said “Really OK great I a very nice guy” and started the car and stopped near my gate and opened the lock. And I framed out something and said “I want to meet you because, I like meeting you & you are very interesting beside being nice and cool and calm and smart and ….I think that would do, will you come … tomorrow”

He nodded in agreement and said “I too like meeting you .. Go home .. your dad’s waiting for you ..Bye good night.”

I waved him bye and left him smiling in his car…..

I JUST KNEW ! Part 29

2018-03-10T09:18:00.001-08:00

I pulled all my consciousness and told to myself this is the time and said “It ..I don’t think it would make any sense now.” He laughed and said “still I want to hear it”

I took a deep breath and said “When you came to meet me and I told you, that I have a boyfriend, I was actually going through a breakup and I was confused. I wish, I have had told you this on the same day but…” he stopped me asking “You are talking about sumit ?”

I nodded my head with a surprised expression thinking how he knew the name while he continued “I knew that he broke up with you. But I wasn’t expecting we are going to talk about him….. haaaaaa” he rubbed his forehead a little and said“ I mean I thought we would be discussing something related to us …..you or me ….” And I was blinking my eyes he asked “What?”

I asked him “How do you know sumit ?”

He answered “ I don’t know him, I was just going through her wife’s profile on FB, she is my cousin’s friend then I found that you are a friend in his list. So I enquired about you with her , Sunaina Sumit’s wife knows you.”

“So you knew that I was not in relationship ” I demanded.

“Yes, but unfortunately this happened after we met at your place, can we talk something else I am not interested to discuss your X boyfriend” he made a face like he was bored and said

“you are sure that’s all you wanted to say ”

The Faludaas appeared . I was disappointed, I felt I made a very silly mistake.

I was looking at my slippers for no reason. He Opened the lids of Faludaa glass and kept spoons in both of them and moved one to my side and asked “I hope you like …Faluda” I looked at him for a while and nodded.

He started having his glass and asked “Are you angry ?”

I took a spoon of the falooda and tasted it I thought may be because I wasn’t eating he felt so, I shouldn’t have discussed anything. I could have asked something else may be to meet him on Sunday and plan to go shopping with him. I need to buy something for dad ; his birthday is approaching ….Shirt .. wrist watch … perfume would be good hmmm. As I was immersed in my thoughts Sanskar said “Should I help you in finishing it, I feel you dint like em’ should I order any other ice cream for you?” he waved his hand infront of me saying “HELLOoooo”

I said “Can you take out time and come for shopping with me on sunday?”

He smiled and asked “Why you want me to join you in shopping ?”

I answered “So that we can meet again” .I raised my shoulders. He rubbed his chin with his fingers and lifted his eyebrows looking at me and asked “why you want to meet again, we are done with the discussion right !”

I was not expecting that answer I started looking other side a table on my left it was very dirty.

He took my faluda and completed it I wasn’t expecting that too. He asked “Shall we leave.”

I had no answer I stood and we walked towards his car, he was talking continuously “You are so calm , and angry ..like angry bird …peek peek peekpeek … ” It was funny I laughed and said “I am not angry ” and he rushed and opened the door of car and asked “shall we go for shopping tomorrow instead of Sunday ? Mom and dad are coming back on Sunday & I want to stay home”

Suddenly I remembered the morning conversation and said “You need to take your girl friend out for lunch tomorrow” and I sat closing the door

He came in from the other side and said “I am sure with all your smartness you know I don’t have any girl friend, so now tell me tomorrow?? ”

I said “I am not smart” and he poked “Oh yes you are ” and we continued like kids “no I am not” and “yes you are” repeating our lines for a while. Then laughed.

We almost reached my place I could see my home I had no clue what happened he suddenly stopped the car and reversed it and moved back to the same route for about 80 meters I asked “What are you doing ?” looking at sanskar &then my watch it was 9 :50 pm already

He stopped the car and said “First you have to tell me why you want to meet me.”

I JUST KNEW ! Part 28

2018-03-09T08:48:00.000-08:00

“Hello Again ”I said. Sanskar was looking at me for a while and then said “Were you wearing a yellow kurti and blue jeans this morning.” I laughed and replied “Yes, I changed.”

Opening the gate of his car he said “So you changed for the party.” And I teased him saying “No I changed because I was meeting you.” And he was smart with his back fire “Well then I love the color of your dress. It looks really great on you.” And as he winked, I had butterflies in my stomach. While he continued “So I can drop you home right ?”

I nodded “You had your dinner?” I asked.

Sanskar didn’t reply to my question right away, he looked at me and then his rear view mirror and moved his car in reverse and then out of the parking. He was just smiling. The window of the car was partially open the breeze of air was scattering my hair all over my face and I was trying to handle my hair, then I randomly started searching for a hair clip in my bag. Sanskar asked “all Okay”, I said “My hair, they are ,,” he dint allow me to complete my sentence and said “disturbing my view” and he laughed and he continued talking “I ate some snacks at 7, I am not hungry but I am sure we can have some Ice cream as you might have skipped your dessert”. I was surprised “Who told you?” And he answered “well I came early I am sure it was the time you started your dinner and you just ….” This time, I stopped him saying “I actually ate lot of starters earlier. so I wasn’t hungry at all.”

The car stopped at a signal, there was noise all around from the vehicles outside yet silence in the car. Suddenly Sanskar said “ Shreya!” I looked at him and then at the front vehicles just to avoid eye contact, However he was looking at me and continued “Thanks for joining me early, I was eager to meet you”

And he turned and looked at the signal we both smiled.

The signal went green the car was started, and it was a calm drive till we reached one ice-cream parlor, we got down and as we were walking towards the entrance Sanskar pointed me a table and I moved towards the same table, the place wasn’t crowded at all there were barely 4 or 5 people apart from us we sat there looking at the menu while he asked “So which one?” I said “Anything apart from chocolate flavour” soon he stood and left to the counter to order.

I checked my phone It was 9:00. I was feeling I should call dad, He may get worried, or mom and tell her, that the party is delayed and I will be home by 10 but that would be a lie. Sanskar appeared and said “don’t worry we will reach home by 9:30; your home is 10 mins away from here.” while saying this he grabbed the chair opposite to me and pulled it to my right and sat, he sat so close that his knee tapped my knee and he said “Sorry” and he continued “You were saying something… something you wanted to say to me”.

I pulled all my consciousness and told to myself this is the time and said “It ..I don’t think it would make any sense now.” He laughed and said “still I want to hear it”

I JUST KNEW ! Part 27

2018-03-09T08:39:00.001-08:00

Sanskar : Well I expect some answer apart from “I see”

1:40pm

Sanskar : Shreya …

1:42pm

Sanskar : OK I will be dropping you .. I need to know, what exactly you wanted to discuss with me

2:40pm

Sanskar : Send me the address of the hotel.

3:10pm

Sanskar : Ok I have the address.

6:00pm

Sanskar : I will be there by 8 :45. You can take your cab if you like. Just meet me.

6:01pm

I was happy; I was hell confused and worried all at same time.

Happy- because I definitely wanted to see him again. Confused - because I frankly had no clue what to tell him, for the statement I told him earlier “I want to discuss something, there is something I feel you should be knowing about”. I did wanted to tell him, I went through a breakup long before I met him, but I didn’t knew, if that information would make any sense/difference to him. Worried thinking what if I make a fool of myself.

Sherlee shook me as I was lost looking at my phone, she said “don’t you want to have dinner its 8:00 let’s check when they are going to start dinner” I said “First there will be a cake cutting; are you hungry ?” SHerlee smiled “ofcourse, I am so hungry”. Soon there was an announcement by our director regarding our hardwork, project and he appreciated our team then was the time for cake cutting. I checked my phone it was 8:25 pm. I was feeling nervous and my mind was not at all involved in the party anymore, neither was I feeling hungry now. Dinner was started I randomly picked a few dishes on my plate just to accompany sherlee, who was continuously talking, I barely paid attention also the music was loud, my mobile beeped it was Sanskar’s message.

Sanskar : I am at the hotel, let me know when you are free.

8:37pm

Me : where are you ?

Sanskar : waiting at the entrance left side of the gate, parking lot 2.

Me : Ok I’ll be there in few mins.

Sanskar : No hurry, take your time.

I asked Sherlee, “ can you please communicate the volunteering team that I will be leaving now, a friend has come to pick me and he’ll be dropping me home too. So I won’t be taking cab.” She started teasing me “I dint knew you have a boyfriend ” and I was like “Sherlee shhhhh he isn’t … just a friend ok, Bye now” . She enquired “Are you done, you barely ate anything.” I answered “Yea I am full, Thanks” and I left.

As I reached the parking lot, I could see Sanskar standing near his car facing to the other side, talking on his phone, As I approached, I found it was his mom he was speaking to, he was saying “Ofcourse Ma, Yes yes I know don’t worry. Just came to pick up a friend. Ya I am done with my dinner. ……..How’s Dad ….. are you enjoying ……& do take lot of pictures”

He heard my foot steps and turned towards me and said to his phone “Okay ma bye I will call you tomorrow” and dropped the call.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 26

2018-03-09T08:22:00.002-08:00

Oct -10- 2014

No one in the team appeared in a mood to work today. May be the reason was evening party and there was low workload too, everyone was talking about food, parties and previous party etc. and bunch of girls were busy in discussing their dress. I texted Sashwath, asking hows new life going, congratulated him again “happy married life” and also enquired if he and sunita can join the evening party.

Just then I got a call from Sashwath, I spoke to him for a while and then to Sunita both said they’ll try to attend, however they have other plans for the evening. While I completed the call there was a missed call from Sanskar I thought it was just an hour ago he dropped me, & he called me WOW. I called him back but the number was busy this time. So I dropped him a messages.

Me: Thanks for dropping me, it was a very nice of you. We will be leaving to Hotel Darbaan by 2 :00 PM. party will end at 9: 00 Pm. I am free till 2 J

And I waited for a reply for next 2 hours, well you see this happens when you expect a way too much. Me and a few others from my team planned some games, for evening party and booked cabs for all the female employee to drop them home safely. It was again an assigned task. While we were doing all of this, our Male colleague started teasing us saying “Girls get too many extra benefits. We all have to make our own arrangements back to home”. I prompted “you can join your route’s cab, if there is any seat free, but you have to check that for yourself” I shared the sheet with them.

It was 1: 00 PM sherlee asked me “what have you got for lunch ” and I checked my box and said “Fried rice” . We sat at my desk and shared my lunch and started gossiping about our boss and other supervisors. Meanwhile I got a message. It was from my dad.

DAD: how will you come home, and when?

I called him back, explained him my arrangement with cab and asked him not to worry, if I am late. I will be calling and informing him. Soon after the call was done, I received another message it was from Sanskar and it said the same thing

Sanskar : When will you be reaching home then and how are you going to manage commutation?

It was nice to see that he was concerned, I replied him back

Me : We have cab arranged for all female employees

Soon I got another reply

Sanskar: tell me the location, I’ll drop you home. You can pay me what you are paying to cab.

Me : Its being paid by the company, thanks but I don’t want to bother you.

Sanskar : You are already bothering me with other things :P

Me : ???

Sanskar : You din’t discuss what you wanted to discuss with me, right from the beginning.

Me : Oh, I see.

Sherlee got her bag and said “pack your bag lets go to the wash room and change? Are you busy with something?”

I checked the time we had to start by 2 and we barely had 20 mins to left. As usual we took more than 20 mins to get ready, apart from sherlee and one other colleague whose name I always forget wore tunics and skirts rest all of us wore frocks or gowns. We were late by 40 mins to reach the venue luckily nothing was started and every one was just warming up chit chatting around.

Being one of the volunteer we arranged few fun events and games. Everyone was cheering the player it was all fun. Time moved faster it was 7:00 and we all were enjoying music dance and starters. Suddenly my boss appeared and gave me a number and asked me to call him and direct the guy with the location of the hotel. It was a cake delivery guy’s number.

In all the fun and enjoyment, I forgot the tract of where our stuff were kept. I was unable to find my bag, in fact none were able to. I enquired with a few waiters there and then got to know that all our belongings are kept in a room and locked and like a fool I left my phone in my bag. It took lot of time to find the keys and get bag and then my phone. As soon as I did, I called this delivery guy, it was my luck he was almost near and we received cake on time. But there were 6 messages from sanskar which were left unread……

I JUST KNEW ! Part 25

2018-02-27T05:50:00.000-08:00

We both stood there just looking at each other for few seconds and then my bus appeared, I dint wanted to board it, but then I had to join office. My mind was blank for a moment as if, I dint knew what should I be doing, I turned towards the bus and as I moved a step.

“Don’t take the bus, I will drop you to office… of course, if you are okay with that” said Sanskar with a cute smile. My mind was like how can you say no to this cute smile plus I had so much talking to do with him. I turned towards the bus driver and made a hand gesture, as asking him to leave without me & the driver left.

I turned towards sanskar and asked him “what are you doing here, I thought you were still in Singapore” and he smiled and said “Shall we walk towards my vehicle; I’ll answer all your questions while I drive you to your office”.

With my heart pacing up I knew this is going to be a great day. I followed Sanskar while he crossed the road. He had his car parked on the other side of the road. When we crossed he said “I reached home last night, I called you from Singapore itself when you asked me when I’ll be back, something went wrong with the line and I couldn’t place a call again.”

I said “alright , But what are doing here was my question” and I smiled. He halted as we approached his car and said “I came to give you lift to your office.” I prompted “What if I would have taken my bus?”. He made a sad face and said“ You know you look great in Saree ” and opened the door of his car. There were funny exchanges of expressions between both of us while I moved in the car.

He started the car and took a U turn saying “When I reached home last night, I got to know that - mom and dad are out to Pune with my uncle and cousins, they will be back day after and I have a holiday today, I had nothing to do right away so, I thought to see you, as you said you wanted to discuss something with me …”

One thing I found very nice about the whole sentence, he said was he has a holiday today, so I said “You have a holiday today, wow … that makes 3 days in a row as its Friday today” he glanced towards me and said “Yes that’s nice actually.. ” we were calm for a while I was observing all the little things inside his car, I remembered the Ganesha’s idol at the centre and recollected that I have seen this earlier. Soon he asked “do you want me to play music ?” and it came straight out of my mouth “ rather, I prefer having conversation with you ”.

He cleared his throat “Ahem ” and then looked at me “So talk, I am willing to listen”. I started smiling. I said “where did you get my office email id.” And he said “You know you always ask so many questions” and I replied “I always feel curious about a few things.”

“Shreya, I have contacts…. I know a few people from your office they gave me your complete detail -your phone number, email address, your picture, desk number, office address, and few other details. I took it long back before I met you” said Sanskar.

“Haww someone from my office did that ” I was awestruck “This is wrong against the policy …” sanskar was laughing “I know that is why, I wasn’t willing to tell you, but you are Shreya who always wants to know everything and will tell nothing when asked.” He said

“what … when didn’t I ? I answer you whenever you ask anything ” I said with a serious expression however I knew I barely did that. We almost reached my office.

I said “Thanks for dropping me” Sanskar said “Any time madam. By the way you can add me on Facebook I have sent you a request.”

The car stopped at the gate and I was in no hurry to go out I asked “When can I see you again.” He smiled “Why you want to see me again?” well I had no answer I guess we both knew why I wanted to see him, but I wasn’t sure if he did feel the same way.

“It’s up to you if you can take out time and mmm if aa” I was figuring out some proper sentence. He gripped his steering and said “You don’t have to be formal Shreya, Tell me when do you want to meet again.” He said without looking at me.

I said “whenever you are free”. He folded his hands and turned towards me and said “I just told you, I have a holiday today I am free whole day, so now you tell me”. He raised his eyebrows.

“Lunch tomorrow” I requested and he replied “tomorrow, Lunch .. I am sorry I have to take my girlfriend out for lunch .” And he was looking closely for my reaction, it was a bluff, I knew he was free but I played along “Okay then enjoy your lunch and plan something, day after”. I started getting down taking my bag while he prompted “Can we not plan something for today ?” and I answered “We have a release party today so, I cannot plan for today. Thanks and have a good day.” I waved him and entered my office premises.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 24

2018-02-26T05:13:00.001-08:00

It’s very funny how we term our ego as self-prestige. Post checking the messages from Sanskar that night, I called him thrice but he dint lift my call. No Idea what got into me but I was very annoyed by that, I thought of dropping him a message then came the evil part of me which said, he is not taking your call just don’t ruin your image and I did exactly what it said. After a day I again found missed calls from Sanskar as my mobile was on silent mode, while attending the conference. When I called him back, He did not lift. This I am not talking and texting game was on for a few days, until he mailed me on my official email id, the email had attached pictures of him from Singapore.

Again there were only pictures no mail contents no subject only pictures, Well I checked those pictures, he was looking quite cool in them, then I sent these pictures to my personal email, I thought, I can have them in my mobile and check whenever I want. Then I did a smarter thing, I sent him my pictures (The one taken at Sunita’s wedding I especially chose the one in which I was looking prettier, I guess we all do the same) on the reply of the same mail with no subject.

Next day I found Sanskar’s Friends request on Facebook, I did not accept it I thought to do it later. But I was willing to add him thinking I can check more pictures of him if I add him but then he could do the same so let’s not add him. It’s really funny how your mind plays with you and then there are hormones which control half of your actions.

While I was busy with winding up one of my task, Sherlee appeared asking me to join her for lunch. I took my tiffin and walked with her towards the cafeteria, soon I heard my phone ringing this time, I checked it was sanskar, I thought I must talk I asked sherlee to go and get her food while I will wait at the table, I allowed the phone to ring till I reached the table. Then I lifted and said “So finally” and Sanskar said “What finally, I thought you are ignoring me” and I answered “Why would I do that” Sanskar said “May be some sort of mood swings that women’s deal with ” and I continued “I see, are you back from Singapore?” there was no reply the line was gone I tried calling him again the number was not reachable. Soon Sherlee appeared with her paratha’s and I thought of tasting them so I pushed my mobile aside and started munching on. We discussed project , the party of release which was going to be next day evening and then gossiped about fellow colleagues, later moved back to work. The Project was almost done from our end the testing and fixing of bugs was left. I was leaving home on time it was such a relief I thought.

After I reached home it was India Pakistan cricket match which postponed our dinner we three were glued to the television. India won this time, we added ice-cream to our dinner for celebrating the victory. What a match it was I thought having my ice cream. Mean while Mom asked “You said there is some finishing to be done in this dress” showing me my violet frok I said “Yes mom, here there are two buttons off ” showing her the sleeve. She asked me “when do you want it ?” I said “tomorrow mumma , the party is tomorrow evening.”

She made an angry face, I made again a cute puppy face and like always it worked.

Next day morning I got ready packed my violet dress for party and rest of the things along with my tiffin box. As I reached my bus stop I got a weird feeling like someone is watching me, I checked around there was no one it was 8: 00 AM and a very few autos appeared and little vehicles moving by. However the feeling continued I checked for my bus on my right of the road, just then someone patted my left shoulder, In a reflex I turned my head and there stood Sanskar. I just couldn’t control that smile, it appear on my face, though I was not wanting to smile specially that big smile. I was completely surprised with his sudden presence there and I went like “what … you .. .. dream .. I mean …..what aaa” and like always he started laughing.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 23

2018-02-24T06:31:00.000-08:00

There is something about Sarees, not that I am very fond of wearing them, but whenever I do I feel awesome. Maybe cause I am an Indian. Draping saree is an art for sure. It does take time but once you are done, I feel it worth all of that.

I was at the wedding taking pictures along with my colleagues Sherlee and Sadhana there were few others but this time I felt to just hang out along with these two girls. We moved in to the brides dressing room, Sunita was all dressed up in red and white Bengali bridal Saree, with classic eye makeup and huge red bindi.

She was having sips of juice with a straw, when she saw us she was more than amazed She hugged sherlee and the it was my turn. I complemented her “You look gorgeous, I never knew you are Bengali, until today” . She answered “Actually my Mom’s Bengali dad is from Karnataka so I had flavours of both.” Soon there was lots of buzz as the groom party had arrived in the central hall and the ladies started making a Ulu dhwani, its all hard to explain but treat to watch the customs. while the bride was carried towards the central hall by all her cousins.

While sunita was asked to join the groom we took more selfie and chatting with other guest/ relatives of Sunita. I did worry for a while about sunita thinking how would she manage everything at this young age and at the beggining of her married life. Then I gave another thought that I definitely cannot do anything about their life, so better I focus on whatever is going on in my life.

I really enjoyed the food and wedding, we all even had a nice DJ dance party at the end, before all the guest could leave. On my way back I choose to call my dad to take me home it was very late night, and I was getting too much attention from my fellow colleagues most of them showing concern on dropping me home. & Its tough to say yes to one person when you have another standing next to him who has already come up to you with same help.

I was waiting and chitchatting with Sherlee she said “my boyfriend is about to come, when will uncle come?” I said “any moment he messeged me a while ago that he has started from home.” Soon his boyfriend appeared on a bike they hugged each other and sherlee introduced him to me, I learnt that they both were college buddies. This reminded me of Sumit. However, I just let go of my thoughts and started mingling with Sunny, Sherlee’s boyfriend he was little shorter than sherlee but very friendly and funny at the same time. My phone rang as I checked it was inside my purse and picked it, it was my dad and he asked me to come to main entrance. We three moved to the entrance where I took leave from both and joined dad to leave home.

I got into the car and dad asked “how was the wedding?” I answered “It was amazing, I am happy that I got to attend a Bengali wedding”. Dad continued “Nice to hear that, by the way mom was trying to call you around an hour back you didn’t receive the call” checking my phone I said really then I found there was 2 missed calls one from mom another from Sanskar. There was also another message “Are you free, can I call ” dated yesterday I wondered How come I dint check this one and then I realized I have turned off all the notifications. I gave a pat on my forehead. And dad asked “what happened?” I said “Nothing papa, some settings in my phone.”

I JUST KNEW ! Part 22

2018-02-24T06:19:00.001-08:00

Being Sleep deprived wasn’t new for me. Yet this was different in some way -more tiresome, It was like no good night sleep and tons of tasks.

- 2 and half weeks passed.

I dint receive any text from Sanskar which was much expected. Sometimes, when I used to be immersed in his thoughts, I tried to recollect the complete conversation to figure out if he really said “I will call or text you”.

However day by day I moved towards smoother end of organizing my tasks and tasks for rest of my team. To boast my spirits I received multiple appreciation mails with “Good Job ” & “Great work ”.

It was some get-together meeting and announcement of awards for employee of month and quarter. Few of my colleagues were teasing me that I may receive it, as I worked hard for this project, deep inside even I wished to get one at least a small token like emerging star, or whatever. But at the end of all announcements, as my name never appeared I felt haa.. I don’t need any award. But Sashwath who was sitting right beside me, did get one star achiever and he was going on vocation tomorrow , every one gathered around us to congratulate him and I was sort of not very happy or may be jealous of him.

Shashank said “ Bro this was much deserved right ? The cash money you can use for your Honey moon, by the way where are you guys planning to go ?”

Sashwath kept a big smile all the while, thanking every one. Sunita was not present at the scene she was busy with some discussion with HR team. Going back to my desk at staircase I asked Sashwath “You received the award, you are getting married to your love why aren’t you actually looking happy ?” He gave me a scary glance and I choked for a moment.

Sashwath asked “what are you saying ?” I replied “If I was in your place I would have been behaving different, you somehow appeared lost - just smiling weird…. Is this what you call pre-marital jitters” he laughed and said “May be, I am not sure”.

I continued walking towards his desk and asking my questions “haven’t you people planned for honey moon? I mean you have taken really long vocation” He said “I’ll be here in Hyderabad itself with guests and family taking care of Sunita.” I enquired “isn’t she doing well”

He took a deep breath restarting his PC and said “She is fine” and I in no time said “Better she be, You are the one responsible..” and before I could complete my sentence You are the one responsible person among you two . He said in a provoking voice “No I am not responsible all the time, she is equally responsible” all I could do was to keep a serious face because I barely understood what he was trying to say , soon he asked “can you come for coffee , I feel like I am having head ache” I agreed. We went to break out area where he started talking and explaining a lot of things, half of which were not digestible for me. However what I could understand was this marriage wasn’t a planned one it happened early for both of them as Sunita got pregnant and being a friend I wasn’t supposed to discuss this with anyone else.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 21

2018-02-22T02:52:00.002-08:00

My phone was beeping I thought it’s already 6, with my sleepy eyes I moved towards my desk and picked my phone to set it to snooze but it wasn’t my alarm. It was a message from Sanskar

“Next time I won’t be in any hurry.”

And with out even checking the time I replied “OK” and within no time I got another reply

“Don’t you sleep??”

Which made me check my wall clock it was very dark, patting my forehead I though stupid you are holding mobile in your hand then I checked the time in my mobile it was 2:00 AM, I wasn’t able to believe- it’s only 2, so I switched on my light and checked again my clock the time was same, I guessed half of my mind was still in sleeping mode, So I switched off the lights and lied back thinking I have still 4 hours to sleep. Then my phone beeped, it was him again. I knew it before lifting the phone

Sanskar :I won’t be available, for a few weeks!

and I enquired texting “Why?” and soon my phone rang I lifted before the first ring could complete my heart started beating faster, I dint knew whether I was worried of talking to him at this late night or it was something else.

“Hello” I said

And he giggled asking “you don’t sleep?”

“I was sleeping, it was your call which disturbed my sleep” I answered

“I see, I thought you were awake as you were responding to my text, Plus I don’t like texting much I prefer a two way conversation” he said and continued “Can we talk or you want to sleep?”

“Why aren’t you asleep ?” I asked with out answering his question.

He giggled again “So that means we can talk, I am not asleep because, I am waiting for my flight at the Delhi terminal, I am leaving to Singapore”

And then a very long conversation begun………

Me :You are in Delhi ?

He : Yes Madam

ME when did you leave to Delhi?

He : at around 8 in the evening, why..

Me : nothing I dint knew you were travelling

He (started laughing )

Me: why are you laughing?

He : How will you be knowing that I am travelling If I don’t tell you.

Me : exactly you dint tell me

He: was I supposed to? (Again laughters)

I became calm, no idea why!

He : hey, what .. what happened are you there or the line is gone?

Me : HMMM…

He: let’s just talk …see I have a project and a seminar to attend I’ll be back probably after 3 weeks and I was not sure that aaa…

Me : carry on..

He : can we talk something else, I am sure you are not interested in my trip.

Me: Ohooo and how you know what I am interested in?

He : Dint I tell you I researched you before meeting you .. hmmm?

Me : Yes you did..So now what?

There was a pause I could only hear his breathing…

He : You were looking very pretty today Shreya .. I wished to tell you the same as soon as I saw you but I guess I dint had the courage.

Me: OK…. you too were looking … not bad (I smiled to myself biting my lips)

He : So you said you want to meet again .

Me : Yes I did.

He: Why

Me : I (I took a while framing my answer) … I want to discuss something, there is something I feel you should be knowing about.

He : You can tell now

Me : I can’t keep talking all night, plus you have a flight to board

He : Can I call you again.

Me : Not in the night please..

And he laughed again, this time I joined him.Then he Said

He: I meant when I reach Singapore at day time..

Me: I am keeping busy these days if possible call me in evening ..

He: OK, work load and all ?

Me : Yupp you can say that, But you can call.

He : Hmm……. I’ll text you before calling then, OK ?

Me : Yes !

He : Fine then I’ll take your leave, it was nice talking.

Me : why are you sounding so formal all of a sudden.

He : Well I never spoke to a girl this long on phone I was not able to find suitable line to say bye.

Me: when is your flight

He : mmm more 45 mins to go.

Me: why are you saying bye then.

He : Because I want you to sleep as you have to work tomorrow.

Me: ok Bye

He : bye

Neither did he turned off the call nor did I…. it was again a silence of 33 secs

He: mmm shreya

Me: Yes

He : Just Sleep I don’t know why we are just going on from past one hour

Me : (started giggling) You will meet me after you are back from Singapore right

He : Of course , You have something to discuss you said , so definitely.

Me : I’ll pay next time.

He : haha sure…

Me : So how did you understand that the caller was me, how did you figured it out?

He : Ask me anything else I would answer apart from this one.

Me: OK, What did you tell your family after you visited our place?

He : Wohoooo, you had questionnaire ready !!!

You know I dint knew you are so Sharp and Smart at the same time.

Me: I don’t feel the same way, any way I am waiting for my answer.

He : Why you want to know?

Me : You shouldn’t be giving another question for one question asked.

He : Well I learnt that from you .

Me : I see..

He : Well…. I felt you are not willing for the proposal and you may talk to parents about your boyfriend, so ..

Me : You told your parents that I have a boyfriend.

He: let me complete…I told them that am not ready, ahhh and I need time to think about marriage now.

Then your dad called my dad and asked again, I said to answer that I am not interested.

Me :Oh

He : yes that was OH and lot of drama at my place.

Me: I am sorry for all that.

He: Shreya

Me : yes..

He : please sleep its 4: 30. Goodday bye

And he cut the call I couldn’t say bye to him.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 20

2018-02-22T02:48:00.002-08:00

IF he is not calling or texting you, that means you are not in his mind.

A simple conclusion came up from my populous mind. I was running out of time, with too many

Tasks on my list, leading a team was new for me, it’s always easy to work when someone is there to assign you work, you know very well how to handle it. However, when it’s to handle the team along with your own set of duties, it becomes hard and harder when part of you is not with you.

I was in a meeting with the client, my offshore and onshore team and frequently checking my mobile, just unlocking and locking it, in a hope that a message would pop up anytime …. However it didn’t.

Time passed too fast and I was on the way back to home imagining - how heavily loaded week it’s going to be and its only Monday. I checked my mobile again there were no messages I gave a thought to call Sanskar, but then dropped the idea. Looking at the vehicles and view passing outside my window I was thinking how good those moments were when I was sitting on the bike with Sanskar and we were having those small conversation.. just then the phone rang…..

My bad my mobile battery was almost drained I could only check that it was Sanskar calling and before I could lift the call it was too late, my phone ditched me it got switched off.

The first thing I did after reaching home was connecting my mobile to charging point and trying hard to switch it on but you see the law of electronics doesn’t work that way, it dint get turned on until till it was charged a bit. My mom called and said “doll are you home, why dint you closed the gate back. Those stray dogs has entered in and they are peeing on our plants”

All I could say was “OH” and left my mobile to chase the dog out of our garden.

Lying on my bed that night I felt it was very lengthy day and the time spent with Sanskar was the best one hour, “WOW” I said closing my eyes and then started imagining Sanskar lying beside me in the room. I had an uncontrollable smile on my face and was wondering why am I doing such stupid thing soon I fell asleep.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 19

2017-12-07T23:31:00.002-08:00

Before I could proceed with my chain of imagination a small sign board diverted my attention

It said NO PARKING below it was hand written “Or else puncher” I patted Sanskar’s shoulder and pointed towards it and he laughed. Soon we reached a very small hotel it was titled “Let’s EAT”

We got down and rushed in to get a table, the hotel was very clumsy and crowdie, I wondered at the Sanskar’s choice and then recollected I forgot to carry my purse I have no cash/card/coupon. We sat down at a table it was a plastic table with two plastic chairs, and I started looking around, Table had a lot of water spilled on it.

Why is Sanskar behaving niggardly or being so economic, I am sure this place won’t be having washrooms, I had an urge to use the loo, but I can control and why is such a place so crowded most of the crowd appeared from the IT services wearing their ID cards, may be food cheap here, to hinder my thoughts a waiter appeared and handed me the menu, and he wiped the table too. Without thinking why I came here, what was the purpose to meet Sanskar? Suddenly I was so involved with the question of what I want to eat?

sometimes I feel I have some serious issue, I wasn’t looking at all at Sanskar, you see the guy about whom, I was thinking from last Saturday or in fact from months, was sitting right in front of me and I was trying to check main course and going through the menu, I guess that’s me when it’s about food everything else become secondary.

I said “I was not expecting the items on the menu to be so costly, the rates are high comparing to the ambience here” and made a weird face - pouting my lip and shaking my head, racing my finger over butter chicken which was showing 350/-

Sanskar answered “the quality and quantity is good, also the food is finger licking here. I have been here like more than 15 times” he paused for me to look at him, and when I did he smiled and asked “By the way from where did you get my mobile number?”

That was the question which made me to come back to real world from my food world and I went panic, I raised my head, sat straight with a tensed look and I replied “I have my sources” and covered my face with the menu, I felt now... he will impose a series of questions but, he just asked one -

“So you want anything else apart from butter chicken and chapatti?” I nodded my head and said “water”.

The order appeared early and we ate it really fast, with in like 20 mins everything was done. Neither I spoke nor Sanskar. He just left the 500/- at the table signaling the waiter and stood. I had another sip of water and followed him. As he got on his bike he said “we were early I guess, I hope you liked the food” I got onto the bike after he wore his helmet and said “Yes it was awesome when did you started having chicken? I believed you were vegetarian”

The bike was started and we were heading towards my office and I asked again “Sanskar you dint answer my question” he said “after meeting a pretty girl who loves chicken.” While he was saying this he adjusted his rare view mirror to see my face, and I acted as if I dint knew he was looking at me. After a while...

he asked

“Do you want to ask anything else ”

I said “Yes, a few”

He said “I see, please go ahead it will take another 5 mins to reach your office”

I was trying to be funny and smart at same time “Who was that pretty girl ? who made you eat chicken” He enquired “ why you want to know?” I said “Just like that”.

He stopped the bike and turned back “Shreya are you always like this? ” I was wondering what I said wrong “I am so sorry did I say anything wrong.” I replied with a sad expression “I was just trying to .....” he asked “what are you trying to.... ?” there was a pause “I am not sure, If its my fault that either you don’t trust me or I am unable to make you feel comfortable to talk, or talk exactly whats going in your mind”

I repeated “talk exactly whats going in my mind” he nodded and started the bike again saying “I am sorry ” while I felt may be he want to start a serious conversation I asked “ how did you find my number ?” and he said “the same source who gave you my number”

By now we almost reached my office gate I felt how come I had no idea that Sumedh was playing both sides.

As I got down, My eyes were widened I felt angry and said “Sumedh gave you my number, how could he betray me” he laughed and said “Betray you !! I am joking shreya Sumedh never gave any of your detail, But I got my answer” and he continued giggling “I just wanted to figure out if there is someone who knows about me?”

I was feeling stupid now “You shouldn’t have fooled me this way, I doubted my brother, do you always do this?”

He Promted “You know, you have started all of this,” checking his mobile which was beeping he continued “I am getting late, I’ll leave now shreya. bye” soon he started his bike.

I stopped him saying “hey .. hey.. hey” and moved towards him “Just 2 mins”.

He turned the bike key to off mode and removed his helmet and asked What with a facial gesture.

I asked “Can I see you again ?” and he smiled saying “So you liked the food…”

I answered “I liked the food, but I feel I should have been better. I mean ….amm You know what I mean”

He pouted his lips and gave me a susceptive look and whispered “I don’t know what you mean. Shreya I am really getting late I am supposed to give a presentation.” He looked at his watch again.

I greeted him “Alright ..thanks … sorry and bye” I turned back and by the time I entered the gate I heard his bike vrooming but I dint look back.

I felt I could have talked more….. Exactly how I felt at his first visit, to my place. But this time we had less time span. I really wished to see him again. I went straight to the loo and sat there thinking again for a while till I got a message from Sherlee (“Whr r u, your desk voip is ringing we got a mail from Sheldon”)

I JUST KNEW ! Part 18

2017-12-02T11:42:00.002-08:00

Aug 17

Monday morning this time it was the much awaited Monday morning for me, and It arrived. I woke up very early yet I was unable to decide what to wear, first I wore blue jeans with Black T shirt and some shiny pair of ear rings I applied make up then changed to purple Kurta however I was not satisfied by the way I looked. It was 7 by now. I had to get ready soon my mom was calling me for breakfast. Finally I decided I should look normal, I picked white and skyblue shalwar suit and wore, washed off my face and tied a pony, I looked at myself and said its fine I am okay.

I went right into the kitchen my mom offered me the hot dosa right from the pan I added chutney on my plate and started munching, Mom said “Is it good ?” I replied “its awesome ma” and continued I don’t want lunch today I am going to eat out with a friend “By the way, how Am I looking” staring her , she gave a glance and enquired “Is anything special today ? you look pretty always, but today you look different ” I raised my eyebrows , while she continued “you look graceful , are you going on any date? You never bother how you look until you are attending any functions or parties ” and she smiled. I said “stop teasing mom , I need to leave now bye , love you” I kissed her and left.

I reached office and there was Saswath and Sudheer waiting for me for some conference meeting we had with our business Analyst it took around one hour and we came out of the meeting room while the discussion continued how and when who will be delivering the tasks. My boss Sudheer said “Shreya I want you to take the lead this time and SHerlee , sunita and SUdheer , shishir the new guy will be working in your team you will report to Sheldon wills from tomorrow” I enquired “But sir Sashwath is my senior, I am comfortable working under him” Sashwath replied “I’ll be on vocation for around 20 days, that should not affect , plus you are good ”

Ipaused and said “20 days ” and looked at Sudheer, My boss was smiling he never allows me for more than 10 days this is a way toomuch while Sudheer replied “not just Sashwath even sunita will be on 20 days leave,they are getting married after 2 weeks, you will be getting 2 new resouces from other team don’t worry about that ” and he left looking at his watch waving to both of us now my eyes were broadened and towards Sashwath he said “I thought to disclose this personally to you in sometime ” I laughed and said “Ialways sensed something was going between you two, you both will make a nice couple , Congratulations”

While moving towards my desk I recollected the kissing scene of these two (Sashwath and Sunita )at the parking that night how I made both of them embarresed, and how weird I felt that night watching these two lovers romancing. I laughed at myself.

As I unlocked my monitor Ifound it was already 12 30 I had another 1 hours and too many task were pending. I started soon working on the biggest one. Time moved very fast before I could realize It was late my phone started ringing it was Sanskar, I was so immersed that for a while I even forgot that I had to go for lunch with him , I picked the call…

He said “Where are you? I am at the Gate number 3 ”, I replied “I am so sorry,I am at my desk I ll be there in 5 mins” and dropped the call I picked my phone locked my monitor and rushed to the lift all the while thinking I could have been to washroom once I could have washed my face atleast checked mirror . It took me exact 4 mins to reach to the gate .

There stood Sanskar on his Pulsor rs 400, he looked like some celebrity wearing those brown colored shades dressed in white ironed shirt with dirty green pants . I walked towards him and felt wow and I look seriously like some maid who has been working for last 6 hour.

“You made me wait so long ” he said smiling at me “shall we go ”. I was frankly so awestruck that I wasn’t able to feel that all this was happening with me I stood there with out any reaction.

He again said “Madam I have to go back to work after an hour can we go” I said “Yes ofcourse ”

He wore his helmet and said, “get on the bike then”

I was like “Bike ?” he narrowed his eyes and said “You have any issues with bike? My car is not in good condition orelse I would have got it, please lets go Shreya”

After thinking for 5 seconds onhow to get on this bike I kept my right leg on the pedal and Sanskar took my hand to help me balance the bike height you see was a little high for me plus It was first time I got on to any bike.

He asked “Are you comfortable ” I said “Yes ” however I was becoming cautious as he drove, the feeling of sitting so close to him was so different I was feeling like some sensations going in my stomach which were moving in all directions , it was all unexplainable. He asked “do you drive” I answered “yes ,I have a scooty, I drove my dad’s car but am not confident of driving 4 wheelers ”.

He asked “You would like to have chineese” and I answered “No” that was it and he drove and drove… I was just loving it …as if everything was passing by and we two were constant, for a moment I felt like holding him but then I dropped the thought, thinking he isn’t actually driving that fast plus there were no speed breakers, I wished but there were really none.

Ohhh these cheesy feelings I never ever felt all of these before ……I guess I fell for him even before I realized I did……………

I JUST KNEW ! Part 17

2017-12-02T10:24:00.002-08:00

Aug16

It was Sunday morning; mom came to my room to wake me up.

The most beautiful sight in the world is when you open your eyes and your mom’s smiling at you, showering her love and pampering you, she was brushing my hair with her fingers and kissing my forehead and humming some tune I was trying to recollect which song it was…

I asked “Mumma which song is this ” she sang “Nanhi pari sone chali hawa, dheere aana ”

It means ---little angel is about to sleep, air breeze delicately…something like that..

She said “do you still want to sleep? What do you want for breakfast” I said “Mummy please sleep with me for some time” and she lied down along with me rubbing my arms and cheeks with her palm.

She enquired “what happened; are you not feeling well, It was Saturday yesterday and you were locked in your room you dint even have dinner, I came at 7 pm yesterday and you were sleeping I even checked your temperature I thought you were having fever…. I was worried ”

I said “Mumma….. I am completely fine, I was on my laptop doing some online shopping I don’t know when I fell asleep.”

I was checking everywhere about what to wear on Monday and I wasted whole day thinking about him, Damn I guess, this is why people say you become mad in love. I actually dint feel hungry last night but I slept like a polar bear…… from 6 pm to 7 am in morning, that’s too much I wonder if people even sleep more when they are in love… halting my thoughts for a while I asked

“ By the way what are your plans mom shall we go out for some movie and lunch today ?” I felt I should spend time with family than being lost like yesterday.

Mom said “Why not I too want a break ” I said” then I will make some breakfast too, you just chill and relax today” Mom smiled

A moment later, Dad entered the kitchen while I was making sandwiches. Dad asked so what’s the plan I hope it’s not your mom’s birthday today. I said “Come on Daddy its August not February” and gave him a gaze “Plus I feel we should give mumma a day off when ever possible ” dad was smiling and said “that means we are going to be subjected to your experiments”

“Dad I am making simple veg sandwiches, alright you can tell me what you want to have I’ll cook the same for you” I replied

Dad answered “I am just kidding doll, I’ll eat whatever you are making CHEF”

“also you are coming with us for Kungfu Panda movie and lunch , you see we want some one to drive us and pay the bill” I ordered and we both laughed together.

While having lunch at the hotel, I asked my parents how they met first time… how was the experience… as usual mom was too shy to answer, but Dad.. he explained it all in his own way I was amazed and very excited listening to their story. It took me 25 years to get to know that my mom and dad were in love before their marriage and it was arranged with lots of effort from my dad.

Wow my dad was not only a super dad but also a romantic hero J.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 16

2017-11-28T03:31:00.001-08:00

It was the 5^th Day in the row …bugging Sanskar calling him and letting him guess why a person is bothering him .By now his questions were becoming a little different ..when ever he picked he never said hello he said “You don’t really have any work , why are you calling me?” .Sometimes it went like “Such a stubborn person you are can’t you talk ”.

Or he used to say “Why on the earth are you wasting your money calling me ? ”

Other times he used to say “I am busy right now sir/ madam .. call me after 1 hour I will entertain you”. And once he said “ I charge only 5$ for an hour you can take me home baby or anywhere you want” I remember couldn’t control my laugh and I dropped the call. This phone call game was becoming fun day by day.

However I dint knew it was going to end this way . I was having lunch, it was Saturday and my phone Rang , I forgot it at the kitchen table.

Mom said “I am done with my lunch should I get it for you” I said “Sure Ma” before mom could reach the ringtone stopped. However mom handed me my phone. As soon as I got it, there were 3 missed calls from Sanskar and It started ringing again Damn it was Sanskar calling

Mom looked at me as I was not lifting it, I never picked up the call when Sanskar called me back I wondered what would I say to my mom so I just disconnected.

Mom asked “who was it, your phone was ringing from long time you left it in kitchen” I said “some advertisement” and soon Sanskar called again as I completed my lunch this time as I was not looking at my phone mom gave me suspicious look and I felt a little panic and just picked it to spare myself from her question. And walked towards my room .

Sanskar said “So finally you picked, How long you want to play Shreya ?” I was dumbstruck hearing my name. he continued “Shreya you can talk at least, give some sign, a hint that it’s you and not any of your parent who picked the call so that I can proceed”

I gulped and said “Hi..” it was long Hi though I heard him laughing. There was silence for few seconds then

he said “where are you?”

I said “Home”

He said “Busy with something”

I said “No”

He said “do you want to talk”

I said “Hmm” after pausing a bit

He said “Can you stop giving single word for every question”

I said “ya”

He laughed again, “You are very funny shreya, I hope there’s no one with you”

I said “No ” This time even I was smiling.

He said “Can I see you, Is it possible for you ? and please elaborate your yes or no ?”

I said “Yes but not today, day after tomorrow we can.”

He said “Okay I will pick you up let me know when and where”

I said “Are you angry”

He said “Angry for ?”

I said “for my behavior, I just dint understand what to say so I kept calling and am sorry”

He said “Really are you sorry , I thought you are enjoying bugging me , lets meet I want to talk ………directly ..face to face ”

I said “Okay 1:30 Monday at my office gate num 3”

He said “done see you then”.and the call was over.

It was like hundreds of butterflies in my stomach I was so confused at the same time wondering how he figured out that it was my number. What will I tell him….I was weird I was lost in my thoughts for hours thinking about meeting him how would I answer him, what all I want to talk and the biggest one what should I wear on Monday !!!!

I JUST KNEW ! Part 15

2017-11-28T02:44:00.000-08:00

Aug 7^th

I am not sure if I was dreaming…

I was in my bus partially sleeping gazing out of the window, when the bus halted at a signal A shiny blue color Verna somehow managed to pull through the gap and stood beside our bus I saw a cute Ganesha’s Idol placed at the center of the car, while I was admiring it a hand moved from the steering and adjusted it. I peeped a little more to check may be I found the hands a bit familiar, I could see the jawline and lips, before I could make sure that it was someone I knew the car moved ahead the signal went green, my bus was too slow to chase the car, but I am pretty sure that I saw the car pulling into the campus of Aditya birla and then again it all started.

I couldn’t work much that day. the car, those hands and Aditya birla was all trying to make a few conclusions. While taking the bus in evening I thought to talk to Sumedh I felt he was the only one who could guide me.

I pinged

ME : Hey Brother, WHatsup !!!

There was no response for 15 mins

Sumedh : come to the point, whats now? you never text me from hyd :P you busy IT karmachari.

ME : I felt I saw Sanskar today !

Sumedh : Either open a chapter or close it, stop staring the book.

ME : DO Sanskar own a car. I think he only has a bike.

Sumedh : his Dad has got one I10 ..indica I don’t remember. But whats with the car?

ME : I think I saw him inside a car. But I am not sure.

Sumedh : Sweety he is in hyd, you are in Hyd.You can solve it

I live in Warangal, How can I tell you about things happening in hyd huhh? Plus I gave you his number, why don’t you call him and ask.

ME: what you want me to ask him “Do you have a car ”

Sumedh : yea copy paste him the same.

ME: Sumedh you are not helping.

SUmedh : Shreya help yourself stop bugging da !

OK I got an answer so with all that enthusiasm I made call to his number. It ringed and ringed, I gathered all my energies to say Hi , this is shreya. But no one lifted the call.

Again I reached home and was determined that I will call him back but, I had a heavy dinner you see Sambhar it makes me eat…eat really more and more, I slept early and had a beautiful dream

In the dream..“There was some offer in KFC which was only given to me as I had a coupon I got a complete bucket of chicken wings free with one burger that I bought, I was so happy but worried if I could eat them all and thought if Sumedh and Sakshi were with me,and soon some one joined me at the table who ate with me and we were smiling at each other ….it was Sanskar.”

I woke up but the dream and thoughts of Sanskar kept lingering my mind, It was all very meaningless, however these thoughts made me happy……

I checked my mobile and then I did a thing – I added Sanskar’s number to my contact list and smiled to myself.

I got a few messages, when I was getting ready to office I checked them packing my stuff ..few were from some friends from office, some from bank, but one which caught my eye was from Sumedh it said.

Sumedh : “Yes He bought a car a month back it’s a Blue Verna and its num is …..”

This text made me feel so positive that I went to my calling list and made a call to sanskar’s Number and it ringed again however this time with a single ring the phone was lifted it was sanskar’s voice on the other end “Hello ” I was amazed to hear his voice but I kept mum he again enquired “hello who’s on the line?” I was very calm smiling to myself … hindering the one sided conversation my mom called SHreya your tiffin is ready and I cut the call saying nothing.

I left home feeding the devil in my mind, telling it that I can repeat this you really don’t have to say anything, just call him and hear his voice let’s play, let him think that I am some mysterious person… next time too I won’t speak and then I will call him from different numbers wow

While going to office on the way in bus …I went very dramatic and replied to Sumedh

ME: “What in the world would have I done without you brother, I am so thankful to GOD ”

Sumedh : Yes Darling Tatasthu , Did you call/texted him ?

Me: No…… I was wondering what would I say if he ask me why I called him.

Sumedh : You can say you want to meet him … call him talk to him or else soon he’ll married then his wife would be replying to your phone call.

I felt a serious pang in my chest reading this text and wondered may be he is already in relationship by now, like he might have seen other girls and not everyone are as stupid and confused as you are shreya…

I reached office and again I played the same trick I called him from my desk number and it was again sequence of “Hello, who is this” and I really enjoyed it.

I JUST KNEW ! Part 14

2017-11-28T02:33:00.002-08:00

It was early morning and I wasn’t able to sleep from quite some time, I checked my mobile It was displaying - 4:00 AM Aug 2^nd and I felt Oh no my holidays are over, I need to leave back to Hyderabad and join office from tomorrow, The same old boring office no idea which new project would have been started and I need to startup all over again with the planning and programming, having a job in IT industry is so pathetic at times, no idea how people manage to continue for years, maybe it’s the salary part that interest me, or maybe not. My manager could have done something to improve my rating this year I could have got a better hike. After so much of hard work we put, no idea what happens at the Appraisal meeting. I keep trying to add my data -list of things I have done for the team, and explaining them, however they win when it’s about convincing.

All we want is to keep ourselves busy and be it any industry the patterns are always same we can’t stay jobless. We work just to be occupied and they make us overburdened and then we get little time with our life. Over all there is no work life balance

The alarm started at 6 :00 AM and it halted the saga of thoughts running in my head.

I guess I need to join some classes for peace of mind.

Day passed too fast, and we packed and left for Hyderabad along with lots of homemade sweets and pickles from aunt Snehal.

As always I felt too lazy to wake up next day, yet I joined office on time concluding the day we had an all hands meeting and it energized us with some appetizers, then.. I left home early taking a sharing cab to home.
While I was going home I got multiple texts from Sumedh. They were pictures we took at their residence day before, back in Warangal. Haa… it was a fun vocation I thought I scrolled up and found a text which caught my eyes

7689$$8765 – that’s Sanskar mobile number :-P

And I clicked on the number a popup message appeared which said call 7689$$8765 I selected it, My heart started pounding soon and I dropped the call before its status could reach ringing from dialing. Well I had a very little courage to do that I convinced myself.

Mom was happy to see me early we cooked dinner together, and had a really long chat about many topics and lots of gossips about our other relatives and neighbors. Dad reached home by 9 and I started plating and serving the dinner. Dad spoke about politics, his office work and then they spoke about few distance relatives and matches which they have suggested for me.

I dint find any of the profiles much interesting.

Dad said “would you like to meet any of them”. I was wondering for an answer and replied “If you are interested dad, I will definitely meet them.”

I checked my messages before leaving to bed there was a missed call from a number as looked in again I felt the number was familiar and soon I checked my call logs and found it was sanskar’s number I wondered May be the call was connected before I could hung.

I gave multiple thoughts on calling back and to tell

“Oops sorry it was a wrong number” ahhh may be that would not sound apt

“Hi I actually got this number from a friend of mine . May I know who is this ” wow

Shreya you got a number without the owner of the number which friend would do that?

“May I know who is this I have a missed call with this number” then he may ask I got a call first ..

“My friend used my phone to ring you I guess” and which friends name are you going to give shreya

After too much of ifs and buts I left the thought of calling back and slept.