The MOMentum of Motherhood:

Jenn: Bueller?

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:53:00 +0000

One of my all-time favorite 80's movies - Ferris Bueller's Day Off- is making a come back. Unfortunately it's in the form of a Honda commericial. I guess Ferris' life didn't turn out exactly as planned - from driving a Ferrari to a Honda? What a step down! All the buzz surroundings this commercial got me thinking about all the other 80's moving I loved.

The 80's gave us classics like 16 candles, Rocky & Back to the Future. Going to the movies was big when I was growing up. It was affordable, close-by and there were so many good movies to see - or so it seems. I remember my first R movie - Blue Lagoon - I was 13 years old. My girl friend Angela and I saw this movie at least three times. We were never id'd (different world) No one cared we were in a R movie. There is no way that movie would be R today - there are much worse things on TV.

I rarely go to the movies these days. There are movies I would like to see - but the time just isn't there. Plus to take my family to the movies is 60 bucks in tickets and another 40 in popcorn & drinks. I can wait the 3 or 6 months for it to come out on DVD Or Netflix and watch it in the comfort of my own living room.

I think this Saturday night might be a good one to introduce my kids to Ferris... At least they will get the commercial on Sunday if nothing else and I will get to watch a classic movie. Popcorn anyone?

Cara: 7 Qualities Of Women You Want To Be Around...

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

"They live by their own rules

...but don't expect you to follow them."

I think one of the reason I used to get dissappointed by other people is because I expected them to be or act in a certain way and when they didn't I was let down.

I mean, I do expect certain things from my children, my husband my close friends. I don't think that's unreasonable. I think there are mutual expectations there...respect, honesty, loyalty to name a few.

But as far as other people I have learned that they don't necessarily have to follow my "rules" nor should they. Everyone has a different view of what is right. My right may not be theirs. And unless it's something OBVIOUSLY right, and something that's subjective then it's fine.

When I was younger most of my friends or people I associated with were like me. Now it seems that my circles are filled with people alike me in some ways and very unlike me in other ways. Many people I know parent very differently from the way I do. Not to say there's is wrong..although one time I would have said they were wrong. Now I just say that works for them, but it's not the way I would do it.

I think most people do what they need to do to raise their children, make friends, gain what they perceive to be social status,or simply get through their day. I may not agree with how they do it, or what they think. But I may ~~tolerate~~ like who they are. And what they do probably doesn't affect me.

So whatever. I do it my way. You do it your way. Play nice in the sandbox. You don't throw sand at me, I won't bury you. It's really that easy.

Jenn: Sunday Grateful

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:39:00 +0000

I cant't add onto Cara's post from my iPad and no other computer available right now...

Today I am grateful for

A great weekend. Exhausting. Packed-to-the-brim with friends and family. So much laughter my sides are still aching.

Today I am grateful for
The sunshine that has made January a truly spectacular month.

Today I am grateful for
The continued improved Heath of my dog.

Today I am grateful for
My kids who help when they need to, who complain too much and who keep me on my toes.

Today I am grateful for
A new perspective

Grateful on Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Cara

I'm grateful

when the right decision is made

for

being with new friends and learning their story

when

busy weekends make tired boys
for my kids

who are happily doing their own thing

that next week

I finish my January to do list

Cara: Spring in January?

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 15:10:00 +0000

Someone forgot to tell my plants that it's January. Poor guys I know they are gonna get it. We have one foot in January and the other in February and I know this springlike weather can't go on...although I am enjoying it.

Mother Nature is definitely making it easier for me embrace winter this year!

Jenn: Butcher Worthy?

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:18:00 +0000

If you are or ever were a fan of Seinfeld you may remember an episode in which Elaine decided if her dates were "sponge-worthy" or not. The sponge, a contraceptive device, was introduced in the US in 1983 and taken off the market in 1994. In the Seinfeld episode, Elaine questions wheter a date is "sponge worthy" after hearing the sponge is gone and she now has to conserve the few she has left for that truly special guy. Sponge-worthy was an instant hit. Sort of like Yada Yada Yada.

I am way past the sponge worthy stage, having been married almost two decades. At this stage of the game, I need to know if you are "butcher worthy."

I buy all my meat from our local butcher. It's not the most economical way to go, but the quality so suffices anything you will ever get in the grocery store. My kids even know now if I have "cheated" and bought grocery store meat - you can taste the difference.

Yesterday, Cara and I went to the new BJ's in Deer Park - yes it's open for all you BJ fans. We were by the meat isle and Purdue chicken breasts were .99 a pound. You can't do better than that these days. I have a lot of entertaining going on this weekend between bunco and a family party so I jokingly said to Cara my guests this weekend weren't "butcher worthy" and I was going to pick the chicken up at BJ's for $12 rather than spend $40 at the butcher.

Not that I don't love my friends and family - but when cooking for a crowd economics is a big factor. So forget being sponge worthy - what's really important is are you butcher worthy? Oh how far I've come!

Cara's two cents: All I have to say is I am glad we have footbal and I couldn't sub for Bunco this month...just sayin'.

Cara: 7 Qualities of Women You Want To Be Around....

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

In keeping with my month's "theme" of getting things in order, I have been going through papers. MOUNTAINS of papers. Let just say, I have so much to get rid of that I cannot possibly sit and shred it all. I will go insane. I am waiting for a not windy weekend and I'm going to burn it in the fire pit outside. But I have come upon things that I am saving. (I did ditch the first birthday cards though!) An article "7 Qualities of Women You Want To Be Around" is one them. When I cut it out and stuck in a folder I didn't know when or why I would read it again. I am glad I saved it.

1. "They see the strengths not the limitations, in others. They make you proud to be yourself-because they tell you why you're special."

One of the things that caught my attention about this article is it said "women you want to be around", not necessarily the woman you want to be. I think we would all like to think we are someone people other people want to be around. I do. I also know there are times when I am someone I don't want to be around.

I like #1 because it's something I have been trying to be conscious of lately. I am not a "serial compliment-er". Meaning that I don't compliment someone unless I mean it. And I get uncomfortable if I think someone's trying to blow smoke up my ass by complimenting me...all the time. I have gotten much better at taking a compliment. I don't right away give the anti-compliment back, i.e. Them:"I like your shirt" Me: "Really? I only paid $10 for it". Dumb. Now I just say thanks!

More times then not, it seemed that I thought something in my head...like "Wow she lost a lot of weight, she looks great" and then for whatever reason I didn't tell them. I don't know why. Then someone else says it out loud and I jump on the bandwagon too when I should have said it first.

So I have been making a conscious effort to say it out loud. Tell someone they did a great job when I truly think they did. Tell someone when I love their new sweater when I really do. Tell a mom what a nice kid they have, (and usually that happens when they seem to be at their wits end with their kid, and then the lightbulb goes off that yes do have a nice kid!) I make sure I thank people when they really need to be thanked.

I am trying to be conscious of people's "plates" and who's is way too full for them even though I am carrying around a serving platter in comparison. I am trying to see their strengths rather than get irritated at what I perceive their limitations to be.

I always told my daughter your friends are not people that make you feel bad when you are with them. They make you feel better about who you are. I guess I got that one right.

Jenn: Comfort Food

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 13:08:00 +0000

The snow this weekend was a perfect excuse for comfort food. A little snow, a chilly day spent in front of the fire and beef stew on the stove. Even my "vegetarian" eats beef stew over egg noodles, minus the beef of course. According to my husband, this stew is brilliant. It is better the next day. I omitted the mushrooms because I am the only one who eats them - and my kids asked that next time I omit the peas. I keep Emeril's Essence on hand in the cabinet - I love it sprinkled on chicken, fish or steak and grilled - it adds a little spice to just about anything.

Emeril's Beef Stew (food network)

INGREDIENTS

3 tablespoons olive oil

3 pounds beef stew meat, cut into 1-inch pieces

2 teaspoons kosher salt

2 teaspoons Essence, recipe follows

1 teaspoon cracked black pepper

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 pound button mushrooms, quartered

2 cups roughly chopped yellow onions

2 cups sliced carrots, (1-inch slices cut crosswise on a diagonal)

2 celery stalks, roughly chopped

1 tablespoon roughly chopped garlic

4 tablespoons all-purpose flour

4 1/2 cups veal or beef stock, at room temperature

4 tablespoons tomato paste

1 sprig fresh thyme

1 sprig fresh rosemary

1/4 teaspoon ground allspice

3 to 4 cups 1-inch dice russet potatoes

1 cup frozen green peas, thawed

2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley leaves

Steamed white rice or buttered egg noodles, for serving

Set a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add 1 tablespoon of the olive oil to the pot and season the beef with the salt, Essence and black pepper, being sure to toss the meat well to evenly cover with the spices. Add 1/3 of the beef to the pot and cook until browned on all sides, 2 or 3 minutes per side. Remove the beef from the pot and set aside. Add 1 tablespoon of the remaining olive oil to the pot along with half of the remaining meat and cook again until browned. Set aside and repeat with the remaining tablespoon of oil and remaining beef. Set aside.

Add the butter and mushrooms to the pot and cook, stirring occasionally, until well browned, about 3 minutes. Add the onions, carrots and celery and saute until onions are softened and lightly caramelized, about 3 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 30 seconds. Sprinkle the flour over the vegetables and cook, stirring, for about 3 minutes. Add the stock, tomato paste, thyme, rosemary, allspice and browned beef and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer, partially cover the pot, and cook, stirring occasionally, until the meat is tender, about 1 hour. Add the potatoes to the stew and partially cover the pot with a lid. Continue cooking until the potatoes are very tender, about 30 minutes. Remove the lid and discard the thyme and rosemary stems. Add the peas and parsley to the stew, stir well to combine, then remove from the heat. Serve hot, with either steamed white rice or buttered egg noodles.

Emeril's ESSENCE Creole Seasoning (also referred to as Bayou Blast):

2 1/2 tablespoons paprika

2 tablespoons salt

2 tablespoons garlic powder

1 tablespoon black pepper

1 tablespoon onion powder

1 tablespoon cayenne pepper

1 tablespoon dried oregano

1 tablespoon dried thyme

Combine all ingredients thoroughly.

Cara:Face like a flag

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:50:00 +0000

"Some people have a face like a flag blowing in the wind"

Ain't that the truth. Not referring to anyone I know....heaven forbid. Ahem. I am thinking about Paula Deen.

I like Paula Deen, I always have. Does she make some of the most ~~fattening, sugar and butter laden~~ awesome recipes ever? Yep. Is she coming into your house tying you to a chair and making you eat them? No.

Should you make Skillet Fried Apple Pie for dessert every night? Of course not. But if I made them up would you maybe try one? Would I ever make The Lady's Lunch Burger? Nope not for me. Nobody says I have to like it or make it for that matter.

So what's with everyone from rag magazines in the supermarket to TV Doctors on morning shows getting on Paula?

She has Type II Diabetes and didn't tell the world. I bet she has gas now and then too but we don't need to know that. Everyone loved Paula. She was friendly, sweet, funny. She made some crazy things that people loved to taste but maybe would not make everyday. She was on every show from Oprah to Larry King. They were loving her then. Now that she has done the unthinkable...got a disease she is fodder for nasty talk.

Paula Deen did not make you fat. Paula Deen is not responsible for the health of other people. Obviously she got diabetes from a life of not exactly eating healthy. But probably started eating the way she did from how she grew up or maybe due to the fact that she was a penniless single mom, with agoraphobia and two small boys to take care of alone. She started a business in her home cooking what she knew how and what people wanted and had her sons deliver them for her so she would not have to leave the house.

Everyone loved her story, her food and her. Suddenly now she is the Devil because she has Type II Diabetes. (faces like the flag...)

Well I'm not joining the witch hunt. Is she going to make more money yet now promoting healthier recipes and I think maybe as a spokesperson for Diabetes medication? Probably.
Are they a little envious? Maybe.

Aren't those TV doctors who I am not even sure have time to practice medicine since their on screen careers have taken off, doing the same thing? Aren't they making money because people are so health conscious? Aren't they getting you to watch with show promotions of "5 signs that you already have cancer...up next!" Aren't you tuning in now because well maybe that feeling you're having is a tumor??????

People in glass houses....is another saying that comes to mind.

Leave her alone. I totally relate to her wearing all her jewelry while cooking and not using pot holders cause they are annoying. I love her big hair and blue eyes. I love her "joie de vivre" and I hope when I'm her age I can rock the white hair, jewels and happiness like she can.

The rest can go eat bran.

Jenn's two cents: I agree - I find Paula entertaining - I have made her beef stew recipe (delish) and often cringe at what she is cooking (especially the hamburger/donuts thing) She is fun to watch- take it for what it is and cook what works for you.

Grateful On Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Cara

I'm grateful

to have had lots of laughs at book club

in the company of good women

for

vacation plans made

when

people get me

for my kids

who can always be reasoned with

that next week

I may get the chance to spend some time

with a new favorite baby

Jenn

I am grateful

that my puppy is home

for

snow that gave me an excuse to stay home on a Saturday

when

we spent a family night in front of the fire

for my kids

who seem to be getting the whole picking up after yourself idea.

that next week

Daisy continues to get better

Cara: Football Food

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Lately in this house it's been football and nothing but football. I have even succumbed to it as well I am afraid. (I realized that when I got a little excited to see women's Giants NFL clothes in the store...but haven't bought it yet!)

It had begun in August with Shorty playing for the first time. It hasn't ended. It went all through the fall. Then throw in the fact that now Hubby has two boys to watch games with on Sundays. Then throw in youth winter football...that still is going on, and then some football training coming up soon...yes it never ends. I get it now.

Besides the obvious joy it brings my son, it's good for our family. We all were watching it last week together (Diva too believe it or not). It gives Dad and Sons something to chit chat about. Football is good.

Another good thing about football is football food! I would take potato skins and nachos over cookies and cake any day. (Hence the fury to stay carb free during the week!) I love to have people all together in the den all over the couch with mountains of football food on the coffee table. Comfort food I guess.

A dip I make has become a favorite...lovely when paired with the droning of screaming football fans on the TV! Here's a page out of my ongoing recipe book that I plan on giving to the Diva when the day comes that she actually wants to cook something Enjoy! GO BIG BLUE!

Book Club: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 12:50:00 +0000

"A language kept a secret for a thousand years forms the backdrop for an unforgettable novel of two Chinese women whose friendship and love sustains them through their lives.

This novel – takes place in 19th century China when girls had their feet bound, then spent the rest of their lives in seclusion with only a single window from which to see. Illiterate and isolated, they were not expected to think, be creative, or have emotions. But in one remote county, women developed their own secret code, nu shu – "women's writing" – the only gender-based written language to have been found in the world. Some girls were paired as "old-sames" in emotional matches that lasted throughout their lives. They painted letters on fans, embroidered messages on handkerchiefs, and composed stories, thereby reaching out of their windows to share their hopes, dreams, and accomplishments.

An old woman tells of her relationship with her "old-same," their arranged marriages, and the joys and tragedies of motherhood—until a terrible misunderstanding written on their secret fan threatens to tear them apart. With the detail and emotional resonance of Memoirs of a Geisha , Snow Flower and the Secret Fan delves into one of the most mysterious and treasured relationships of all time—female friendship."

That's the blurb I took from the Internet. I enjoyed the book. I liked to get to take a peek inside a culture that was hidden from the world, albeit fictitious. Along with all the cultural Chinese customs like foot binding and "honoring" one's mother in law forever there was the story of two friends. And what was misunderstood as betrayal by one...ended up becoming regret for the remainder of the other's life. Even though it was set 200 years ago...the complex bonds of the friendship of women remains the same.

Jenn: Puppy Love

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

You may have to break out the tissues for this one. Last February I wrote about my dog Bali In a post. She was almost 16, suffered a very bad fall, and unfortunately couldn't find her way back. We had to make the very difficult decision to put her down. Cara held my hand as did my twelve year old ballerina. To say I was a mess is an understatement. To watch the brave face my ballerina put on was truly inspiring. She was comforting me and not the other way around. Fast forward 11 months and my 4 year old baby dog daisy is just not right. I take her to the vet and the news isn't good. Although we don't know the final outcome yet, there is still great belief that she will be ok, who again is comforting me? My 13-year-old ballerina. I am a mess. She is stoic. I am crying, she is comforting me. Where did she from this beautiful girl who shows so much compassion for me, her mother, when most would be crying for their dog? She keeps checking on me as if she is the mother and I am the child. I am In physical pain, missing my puppy, who sleeps with me each night, and again she is hugging me, comforting me and telling me it will be alright. She is so strong and has proven that over and over again and I marvel at her stoicism. I am the big cry baby. Sensitive to a fault. I miss my dog. I want her with me. In my mind, I know it's just a dog. It could be so much worse. I KNOW THAT but it doesn't make it any easier. I spoke with my cousin today whose husband was unemployed for 6 months. I heard about my Aunt who has stage 2 cancer. I try to lessen my worries about my dog by thinking it could be worse. It could be my child. So I must learn from this beautiful 13 year old of mine. I need to show her that I can be brave. I need to "mom-up" and hope for the best. I am so proud of this girl...my hero.

Cara's two cents: she is a brave girl but where do you think she learned it from? Hope you get good news today :(

Cara: Toto we're not in Kansas anymore

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 13:42:00 +0000

I know how Dorothy felt. One day it's going along...feeding pigs, playing around the house with your dog in a comfy black and white. Then wham! You are thrown into full technicolor and things look awfully different.

Of course I didn't land in Oz last night but I did have an exhausting PTA meeting. And a realization. Gone are the days of just talking about upcoming bake sales and field days. Here are the days of fighting "city hall", and endless sub-committees for budgets, education ,fundraising and busing issues...and on and on.

Not to say that all the other things like plant sales, fashion shows and assemblies still don't need to get done. Because they do but there's less and less people that want to get involved. So in a nutshell there's more "work" to get done and less people to do it.

And when you spend a good portion of your day (YOUR day because you don't get paid remember) doing PTA stuff only to get an annoying email about something you accidentally omitted from the newsletter you put together every month (when really since you're the President should not be your job anymore...I digress...) from someone you wouldn't know if you fell over them (read= "doesn't do a f&%$ing thing as far as lending a hand when help is needed") it's quite frustrating.

I have been moaning for years about the woes of PTA. But lately it's really been getting to me. I don't know if it's cause I have been doing it for so long. Or maybe it really is a thankless job and I am only human so it's starting to get to me. Or maybe I am ready to move onto something else. I don't know.

I do know I left my meeting last night, exhausted. And not because it was 10:30 pm, and not because I was in the company of people I didn't like. All the other presidents were there and they are a good bunch. But there's so much turmoil in the Public School System here in NY. Our Governor is a horse's ass and if he was really in front of me this morning rather that his ugly face looking at me from the front page of my morning paper I would have slugged him.

Maybe it's not exhaustion but disheartenment. I am not sure who really cares about the kids anymore. It's all political on every level, whether it be that Boob in the White House, the Horse's Ass who governs my state or the Neanderthals that coach youth sports.

For the first time, as I sat there and listened about what could be a grim future for the school system, I thought about private school. I have one out "safely" at college. One with a few more steps to "safety". But I have a fourth grader. A smart fourth grader. What's his future going to be? Is the fact that I am informed and involved not mean anything anymore? It used to mean a lot.

I am not a fan of private school. I want my kids to have town pride, have roots, have friendships from back at "home" that last a lifetime. I want to be proud of my school district that we pay thousands of dollars in taxes to run.

I am in quandry. I am not one that takes defeat lying down, but I am also ~~exhausted~~ disheartened. Part of me doesn't want to do it anymore...let someone else do it. But then that voice inside my head says "who are you kidding?". I don't like being in a quandry. I like to know what I need to do and where I need to be.

I like black and white. Technicolor ain't what it's cracked up to be.

Jenn: When I Grow Up

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Cara and I were chatting today over our manicures about what we wanted to be when we "grew up." We both had the same aspirations when we were little - to be a mom. My mom likes to tell a funny story about me. When I was 8 or 9 years old, someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. My answer was immediate and straight forward. "A housemommy" I answered. Everyone thought how cute. I knew I spoke the truth. I think many of us want that and there are others who don't. It's all good.

Before I became a "housemommy" I had to learn to support myself. I did get married at 25. When I got married I was the manager of Public Relations for a major cosmetics company. I started working at 10. Babysitting, followed by waitressing, followed by a summer being a nanny and even in college I had more than one job. I didn't put myself through college but I definitely pulled my own weight and managed to pay my housing and book costs. When I graduated I had many job offers. From teaching (which I declined) to working in advertising at Modern Bride Magazine to a an offer at Laura Ashley & even furniture design company. I ended up going with the Modern Bride job for $22,000 a year, which at the time was a good starting salary. I quickly advanced, even ended up writing a column and a few years later I made the move to the cosmetics company. I supported myself, I paid my bills and then I met my husband.

I continued to work, we had a nice life - double income, no kids, lived on the upper west side of Manhattan..Then he was offered Africa. After much thought we decided why not? We were young, no ties, we could just go. So we did. 6 years in Africa and 2 kids later we returned to the US. I went back to work but it wasn't the same. I missed my kids. I did this for about two years and then my company downsized - I was one of the first layoffs and it was the happiest day of my life. I got to be home with my kids and get paid. I got a lovely severance package and then unemployment. A year later that company filed bankruptcy. I was now officially a housemommy. Pregnant with baby #3 when unemployment ran out, I knew I was now a stay at home mom. I did, even in my pregnant state, get offers of work. I knew in my heart it was time to stay home. I also knew in my heart I could support myself if need be. That is a very empowering feeling.

These days I run the house. I don't get paid and that's okay. Today my 13 year old daughter told me she wanted to be just like me when she grew up. Not the now me - but the younger me. She knows about all my glamour jobs. She knows I was a Junior League Member. She know I ~~had~~ have a good life. I am glad she wants to emulate the younger me - strong and independent and self-sufficient and I am okay if she becomes like the older me too - a housemommy - because it is the best job in the world.

Cara:LOL

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:43:00 +0000

...overused to say the least in texting and Facebook. But it does get your point across when joking in a text or actually "lol-ing" at what someone wrote.

I was thinking I had a good week and I think a lot to do with that end is "lol".

I laughed a lot this week, either on the phone, reading a text or perusing Facebook, or out with friends. I think that has a profound effect on my overall mood even when I am not at that moment laughing. (I mean every minute of the week was not funny or lol worthy...there was of course cursing this or that thrown in...that could be cathartic as well!) As much as I enjoy laughing I like to make other people laugh too I think...but laughing is actually physically good for you. Consider this:

"Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.

"Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease."

"Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain."

"Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems."

So there's definitely lots of benefits to "lol-ing". Make sure you laugh today.

Grateful on Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 20:15:00 +0000

Cara

I'm grateful

to have good people on my "path"

for

Sundays in Winter

when

I find the right words

for my kids

and one more week of college girl being home

that the next week

is a good if not better than this past week...

it was a particularly good one

Cara: Thoughts for a Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 11:05:00 +0000

Another week in January down. Almost halfway through the month already. Christmas who? :)

I'm in a quoting kind of mood lately. Today's no different...

"The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best." Epictetus

I have had this quote hanging by my desk for probably years. I liked it when I saw it so I cut it out of wherever and put it by my desk. I have probably looked at it 100 times.

I spent time this week with people who did just that. I was thinking after I left, that it felt good to have been with them. I left feeling better about myself, understood, affirmed and just plain happy.

Wouldn't it be nice to feel like that all the time. True we really don't have total control over who crosses our paths, but over this past year I have learned that you certainly have control over who walks along your path with you.

Choose wisely.

Jenn: Nothin'

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 18:26:00 +0000

I got nothin. Really. I could talk about the weather. It's raining where I am. Snowing in the mid-west. So happy it's rain here and not snow. Yesterday was a do-nothing day. I had a blank square on the calendar. I used the day to clean my closet and do laundry. I sorted through Lu's American Girl stuff. I helped ballerina & her friends make cake pops.

Today I had my hair "done." Ran up to the HS for boy who forgot to give me forms to sign that were due today. Went to Marshall's for socks. Pretty humdrum - not much blogging material.

I did watch an awesome movie Tuesday night on Netflix(streaming) called Mao's Last Dancer. The true story of a ballet dancers who defects from china. It was one of the best movies I have seen in a long time. Even if you don't like the ballet, this movie offers so much more. It takes place both in China (subtitles) and Houston, Tx. It is a look at the rough life of the Chinese people and what America looks like to a visitor from that country. I laughed and cried and really enjoyed this movie. This is my new hobby - watching movies on my iPad while I wait at dance for Ballerina. If you've seen any good movies on Netflix lately, let me know.

Happy Thursday!

Cara: Cardboard boxes

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:58:00 +0000

In keeping with the "theme" of January which is Order (for you Simple Abundance fans I am sure you can tell what books I have recently put back on my nightstand) the Clean up/Clear out continues.

It took me longer than usual this year to put away my Christmas stuff, takes me forever normally."Why?" someone asked? Well cause I have 27 tubs plus other boxes plus things that don't fit in boxes to organize and put away. "You have ornaments and maybe a Santa candy dish, plus a few strands of lights..that's why." No judging here of course keeping in mind every one's got a different sized plate...they started it.

But this year I needed to go through every tub and really take a look at why I keep so many things that every year stay in the box and don't come out. And take a look at the things that I usually find SOME place for, that this year I put back in the box. So it took awhile and not only because there's still a million things going on...but because I needed to take out everything and think about whether it was staying or going.

For example, I have about a 1/4 tub full of what I label "Kids Creations" with kid made decorations dating back to about 1995. I didn't save EVERYTHING I said a 1/4 of a tub! I used to think I had to put all of it out. Now every year I take out a few and hang them on the basement door. Now 20something year old friends get a kick out of the cotton Christmas tree made 15 years ago. I do too. I ended up with about 3 empty tubs when I was done. To be honest it was not easy for me. Some of the things I got rid of are from when I first got married (yes 20 years ago). And again if I am being honest, I don't even know who the woman was that bought some of these things. She was, I would suppose brand spanking new to this holiday decorating thing and bought "cutsie" things cause she was a cute newlywed..if you could imagine. Well she has had her day...and out went some of those things. I wouldn't say I tossed them either...I kind of placed them in the black garbage bags. (they really weren't anything I could donate) So onward to the rest of the house now that Christmas is all tucked away.

I will be in this house six years next month. I still have "stuff" in cardboard moving boxes. I have always known they are there, just didnt know exactly what was in them. I have ignored them for almost six years. This year I feel different about the new year...I feel the need to get everything in my life in order. On the outside I can appear to have it all together...but some days? Yeah, not so much.

I love the quote "The truth that a woman's home is the most accurate barometer of her emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual well being can be as unsettling at times as it is reassuring." Ain't that the truth. I know when I am feeling particulary twisted about something, if I look around my kitchen it looks like a tornado went through it, kind of how I am feeling inside.

Sometimes things get particularly messy, and it happens to all of us, kids=mess...end of story and I don't care how old they are...have you met Hurricane Diva? When that happens either it makes me feel unnerved or it's because I have been feeling unnerved.

But sweeping the kitchen floor, or Windexing the dog slobber off the front door is just scratching the surface. You have to tackle the cardboard boxes that are way down in the back, dark spidery part of the basement. You have to open those unlabled (I could not have packed those!!) card board boxes and see what's inside. Take a long hard look at whether it makes any sense to save every single first birthday card. Not really. But taking out the baby sweaters knitted by great-grandma are keepers for sure and should be put in appropriate water proof boxes so they will be ready when the time comes to take them out again for a great-great grandchild. That set of cool margarita glasses that always pop into your mind when you have company on a summer night, should be washed and put somewhere accessible.

It's really about those sealed up cardboard boxes that need to be opened up and dealt with. See the analogy? Yeah, I'm trying to too.

Jenn's two cents: Over Christmas break I went through every box in my attic - a few were still from the move 2 years ago. Most of it was kitchen stuff I just have no room for - some was kid stuff that they had to bring with but no longer want. I no longer have cardboard boxes in my house - it's a great feeling and I even have 4 or 5 empty plastic storage bins! It's amazing the stuff we hang onto - you know if it was up to me - it would all go out the door.

Jenn: Home Again

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:14:00 +0000

Cara's post yesterday really captured some of my own sentiments. Being a stay-at-home-mom is not always easy. I often think I had it better when I worked. I know my kids didn't. When I worked, my kids spent hours each day in day care. They had drive through more often than I would like to admit and they didn't see me for more than an hour or two a day and it was in the car. I, on the other hand, had it easier. Laundry was sent out. Housework was shared. Weekends were spent catching up both with kids and errands.

Fast forward 10 years. For the past 10 years I have been home. Are there times I wished I still worked? Absolutely. I know that staying home is what works best for my family. My kids don't always appreciate what I do for them. I keep thinking I should go on strike for a week so they could just understand everything involved in running a house. Very often I wish for more hours in a day. I can't always manage to do everything I need to and something always gets left to tomorrow. Winter is my time to catch up To do all those projects I didn't have time for as I was running from place to place. January and February keep me home (I hate the cold) and working on my to do list.

I know my parents think differently. After all they paid for an eduction that I no longer use (according to them.) I did have my day - I did the whole executive thing - I used my education and still do when I help my kids with their homework or correct their English papers.

At the end of the day we all make our choices - whatever works for us - and whatever works for you. We don't get a "do-over" so we need to just do the best we can.

Cara: At Home

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 14:24:00 +0000

"The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest" ~Thomas Moore

I'm not sure exactly how much the Irish poet Thomas Moore really knew about caring for the home...since he died in the 1800's and I would imagine he would not have been doing much around the house back in the day. But I agree with his quote.

When Diva was born (in 1993) I was the only one on my block who worked full time. I felt like a leper. By the time Junior was born in 1995 I was a stay at home mom. It was a good fit for me. I was not a good working mom. I had odd part time jobs here and there over the years. By the time Shorty was born the 90's generation of moms I knew went back to work in some capacity or another...whether it was back to an old career or a part time job while the kids were in school.

I wasn't in the "while the kids were in school" position until 2007. By then I had found my niche as the PTA mom. The mom who could pickup after school. The mom who made dinner every night, and went on every class trip. The wife who took care of things on the home front while the man "hunted" for the family.

Fast forward to 2011, to Junior's social studies class. For whatever reason, the teacher asked who's mom didn't work. Guess who was the only one to raise his hand? He thought it was funny. I asked him would he rather I worked? He said no. (good!)

I know people think I have a lot of time on my hands. And I suppose I do. I could go back to sleep after everyone leaves in the morning. I never do. For a few years I felt I needed to validate why I am home. And that I AM very busy! Just look at my to do list!!!

I don't anymore. I know I made the right decision for my family. I know I am extremely lucky that I get to make that choice.

I go through my daily round, and take care of my home (I mean that figuratively too...) so that we all have a place to be. A place to come in from the cold and shut out the world. I have know all along that what I do for my home and my family is important. I know that most of the time it's taken for granted. "Can you bring my school book to school I forgot it it at home?" "Hi, I am ready to be picked up and can we drop off Moe, Larry and Curly home too?" "I would like a birthday cake in the shape of the Statue of Liberty this year..." "Do I have any clean underwear?"...and on and on.

But when one bird leaves the nest but then gets the urge to come home to a house that's decorated for fall, with a big warm bed with fresh sheets and wants "that thing" I make for dinner...well then that's my pay check. My validation.

So I will continue on my pursuit of "order" this month of January. Throwing out black garbage bags as big as me is good for my soul.

Grateful Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 16:32:00 +0000

Cara

I'm grateful

to have the clean slate of a new year

for

days of hunkering down and being home

when

we got warm weather in January

for my kids

who make me laugh

that the next week

will be even more productive sprinkled

with some friend time

Cara: oops it's Friday ?

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:30:00 +0000

Takes me a few days to get a grip after the holidays! Then starting the week officially on Tuesday instead of Monday and then forget it I am lost..as it would seem since I'm posting at almost 5:00.

Out of here are cookies,egg nog chocolates and all the other fattening but deeelightful things Christmas brings. Back in is the yogurt,veggies, etc. I usually am cranky when the "good" food has to go...but this time I am over it. The thought of something almond paste tasting may make me hurl.

After really getting my act together this past year as far as eating better I forgot how crappy eating poorly make me feel. So tonight for dinner ( men are eating burgers from a REALLY good burger place but I choose to ignore them) is Eggplant "Parmesan" no, no mozzarella sorry. I was just as skeptical at first but it's really not half bad. Good even. No not as good as the real thing...but it's not the real thing. It's better for you. I need to give it a new name.

(and sidenote I heart my new Rachel Ray cook ware)

One medium sized eggplant peeled and sliced into rounds (not too thick not too thin)

Dip each piece into a wash of two beaten egg whites mixed with some water

Press in into a mixture of fat free grated parmesan cheese and garlic powder (both sides)

Place on cookie sheet that has been sprayed with cooking oil spray

Bake at 350 for 20 minutes then flip and cook another 10 minutes on the other side

Let cool a little bit then layer in a baking dish alternating eggplant and plain tomato sauce (recipe calls for low sugar store bought sauce but I use my own homemade which I don't add any sugar to anyway)and top with some more parmesan cheese

Bake for another 10 minutes.

Jenn: take a seat

noreply@blogger.com (Cara and Jenn) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:48:00 +0000

It's is 9:30 pm and I haven't sat all day unless you count driving in my car. I wasn't planning on having one of "those days." Yesterday my neighbor to the South decided to cut down just about all the trees that separate us. I wasn't happy. Devastated was more like it. I feel exposed. I don't like that feeling. So today instead of staying home and doing the things I needed and wanted to do, I went shopping for Window Treaments. Two of then most dreaded words I know. I am not a indecisive person - generally speaking I know what I want but when it comes to windows, the choices are few that appeal to me. I would like shutters on my windows and custom valances but those are expensive so while I am saving up for my wish list I needed a temporary fix that woulnd't eat too much of the dream budget. I am ok with what I chose but not in love with it.

So now I am finally sitting down after a long day that I would like to be over. So goodnight everyone!