Ask Mr. Wrong

Autumn Leaves

2012-12-04T16:33:00.000-05:00

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another."

- Anatole France

It is with sadness and humility that on the Anniversary of the Mr. Wrong Blog & Show that we bid farewell to Mr. Wrong (the character). After a long ordeal of pleasantry and fun, humorous quotes and exchanges, the time has come for us to close the chapter that is Mr.Wrong. For the most part, the last 3 years of the Ask Mr.Wrong blog & show, have been a very entertaining ride. We’ve spoken on social issues, and we’ve also made fun of all serious issues simply because we think life needs humor. We’ve come a long way from the first blog post, “The Roster,” where we discussed how a bachelor would manage his dealings with a flock of woman as a basketball team: Rookies, Veterans, Superstars, and so on. We’ve had our opinions on athletes’ demise from Tiger Woods to Lebron James, and we’ve even chimed in on politics, like John Edwards. Needless to say we’ve had a busy 3 years of entertaining the readers with our sly perspective.

Change sometimes has to go through the end of one thing to open another. For example, as we bid adieu to the character that is Mr. Wrong we introduce the not quite as funny, somewhat complex personality known as Yvens Riviere.

The writing will go on and we will discuss some of the ideas that you’ve suggested over the years, but also we will try to keep some of the humor that is expected from the Mr.Wrong perspective but with a better, constructive approach. As a writer/blogger it is essential that we give you something that enlightens while attempting to not bore you to death. That’s the plan, so here we go.

Yvens Riviere

Expectation

2012-10-15T23:27:00.000-04:00

“Expectation is the root of all heartache”--UNKNOWN

While this quote floats across the written universe, I will add that it’s also, perhaps, the root of all disappointments. In my spare time I like to set myself up by purchasing lottery tickets with high hopes and expectations. I already have my speech prepared. I also plan on giving my boss a polite wake up call at 3 in the morning to inform him that “I quit.” (I feel a text message will be disrespectful; he may want details.) My expectation is that once I win the lottery, I’ll get a nice modelesque white woman (25-ish) and we’ll go away to some island getaway (sorry, Laquisha, but you know you’d spend my money and we can’t have that).

Working in the IT field you can learn a few things, one being this: computers aren’t like humans-- they are (somewhat) predictable. Meaning you can set expectations and have those expectations become resolutions. I say that because in my human studies I have been trying to understand why people set expectations, and secondly, why do they expect others to meet them. In a perfect world we would all place our expectations upon others without telling them and they would meet them. BUt that’s not reality, so why don’t we express these expectations from the start?

Take, for instance, two individuals that meet for the first time. They exchange information. Now, whether the exchanges take flight or dissipate, it is quite certain that there will be expectations of some sort. Let’s think. How less complicated would it be if the two individuals were forward enough to state their expectations-- if they were bold enough to lay it on the line? No, really. Let’s be honest for a minute. Just for a second, let’s imagine how the first outing would be if she asked outright “what are your expectations?” Would the man be bold enough to use that opportunity to express said expectations or would he play the politically correct role of “I just want to get to know you and be friends and see where it goes”? <--- [It’s okay to comment/respond. We abide by “judgement free zone” etiquette.]

In a lot of cases where the expected result differs for both individuals, it’s fair to say the reason is due to the residual effects of previous disappointment(s). One person will have expectation of longevity and express it, and the other will probably be in search of a good time right now.

I suggest the following: when boarding a cruise ship (i.e. royal caribbean, or...... titanic) it is better to make certain you have a life vest than to be found upstream, face-down without one. A simple Q&A would suffice really. Just ask-- even if the expectations aren’t similar, at least you are aware. And if/when the adventure ends the expectations were not surprises. If they are met, great, if not, well, I guess it’s the end of the road.

What were your beginning expectations?

What was the end result?

A Wise Man

2012-09-03T13:56:00.000-04:00

“A king has his reign, and then he dies. It's inevitable.”--Meredith Vickers (Prometheus)

The Accomplishment of a man is not measured by his gain rather his reign that in itself could be scrutinized. David was a great king according to the great book. He defeated Goliath and yet, God deemed Solomon the Wisest Man to walk the earth, son of David. It is not by faith that we understand to be great is to grow wiser, at my stellar age (gracefully put) I have gotten wiser, but I’m not as wise as Solomon was. I’m still working on it. I’ve come to an understanding that once one has gotten all the materialistic items, and all the girls, one is able to reign. After the reign, there is the inevitable death-- the end of the line... Unless you’re a firm believer of the afterlife in which case why are you wasting time here just get to the end.

As some of you might know I have been overly fascinated by the life of King Solomon, and with good intentions. (allow me to retort.. You were saying something about good intentions --Jules [Pulp Fiction]) The path of the righteous man is not the path of the wise. As the path of the righteous is the straight path [the path of Isaiah]. I have learned that the path of God is the straight path, which is the level and upright path. I’m not here to preach to you nor do I want to, in fact it would take too long to convert you to the Wrong. Some of us learn that religion doesn’t have to be the end of all things, rather the tool we use to bring us to our throne, or the reign we all seek. All politicians have used it as such and look at the history of humans and you’ll see the trend. It is in the nature of the animal to be curious.

I took some time off from writing to gather my thoughts, and to stalk people on social media. I hate to admit it, but stalking people on social media outlets is fun. After a lot of observations of human interactions I found it take a while for some to develop into that beautiful butterfly. To get there we have to acknowledge our past and enter the path of Isaiah. The past was bad, it was “ratchet” but we went through it so that we can achieve that reign, like the moment of glory an Olympic athlete experiences after crossing the finish line. If it wasn’t for the bad times in life we would never appreciate the good times. Some of my friends have had some hard times, and they are growing and learning to be wiser even when it may seem that times are darkest they learned to trust that a better day will soon come and that’s choosing the path that leads to righteousness.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday, sounds familiar but yesterday you were too busy worrying about how you were going to make it through the night without a thunder buddy. Today came you didn’t believe it. Who knew you could have faced your fears and yet be strong enough to lead into tomorrow. We all face life with its own unique obstacles. The wiser we get the clearer things appear, the easier it is to stop wasting our times doing “ratchet” things and doing things that will keep us from the path.

The nay sayers as well as the Mayans have predicted the inevitable End!. Are you ready? Are you at a point in your life that if tomorrow was the end you would welcome it? I can honestly say that I do not have any problems with the end. I have had a wonderful time, the fun and the learning was all worth the journey, thus I say to you my friends whom still need more time

“Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying: And this same flower that smiles today To-morrow will be dying”--Robert Herrick

The Wrong!

The First Forty Eight

2012-03-21T16:23:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time; I shouldn't have left you, without a strong post to read. Spring is in the air and the mood is right, the weather is bright and the temperatures of the nights. . . I will stop rhyming now. I’m not going to expand on meteorology, but it’s fair to say: with great weather comes a great attitude. I recently had the delight of being an observer of the world of human interaction, which, of course, has led to this post. It’s also fair to say that I haven’t been out and about as much as assumed by my peers. Meanwhile, I have had been entertained by some of the exchanges I have witnessed while people watching. Allow me to elaborate.

In the first forty-eight hours of an exchange with the opposite sex, there are certain things one should take into consideration. From a male perspective, I shall attempt to guide some of you on how to not let her get away (or in football terms: how not to Fumble).

The importance of establishing accurate communication within the first forty-eight hours of acquiring a person’s information is key. You see an intriguing, or, to some of you, a “fine” young lady, and somehow, by the grace of God, you’ve managed to get her number or contact information. We need to see to it that you remain focused.

-How you got here: How you got her number is important.

For some it might be her way of brushing you off-- in any case you’ve got her information so don’t mess it up.

-Remember details: It’s very important that you remember what you said or what made her look your way. It might be a great way to get a smile when conversation falls off at a later occasion.

-Be memorable: If they can’t remember who you are then you’ve failed. No one wants to hear “who? I’m sorry I don’t remember you...”

The Social Media Effect

Now there are some benefits to social media that may come in handy, but be warned as I have known far too well the evils of Facebook. If you get the “Facebook me” or “follow me on Twitter,” then you probably have a longer road ahead of you than you think you have. In most cases, Facebook, for instance, can play in your advantage. You get to see the person’s personality and wit (or lack there of). You get to see their previous interactions (which could create the feeling of not being cool enough).

In some cases, well, it might not be so good-- like, when you find out she knows your ex, or has one of your boys (the one that sleeps with anything that moves) as a friend on FB. That’s something to think about.

Some people like to push the envelope a bit by trying to get the person out in the elements early or “let’s have breakfast” after the club. Some of you might have too much anticipation of how that story ends. If she was drunk when you got the number, by the end of breakfast she isn’t anymore and after you’ve paid iHop (another $50) or Chow Chow’s (another $100, after you factor in the obligatory girlfriends who tag along), then she definitely won’t wanna come back to the crib and chill.

Your best bet is to establish communication within twenty-four hours, specifically between the hours of 10:00am and 8:00pm the next day-- preferably a short sms or voice message, just to say “it was nice to meet you, hope to see you soon.” That leaves you in good standing and not looking super suspicious or, as they say, “thirsty”. Needless to say, if you’ve hit her up within less than 8 hours you my friend are dehydrated and need to seek help.

You’ve followed these crack commandments so far and have, for the most part, been successful. It is now time to get out in the field and play. Like most great salespersons, you need a good start to have a good closing. You’ve spoken on the phone, you’ve texted, or facebook chatted, and now you’re wondering how to manage. It’s fair to say you have to now stay within the guidelines of the 72 hour rule (for the ladies reading this: not that one).

You have to set a date to be in that person’s presence physically (I know how some of you stalkers are) and exchange face to face conversation--”face time” need not apply here. Assuming that you’ve made a date to take her out to dinner, take her somewhere nice (not Popeyes). After all, even if it’s just a smash, you can’t get there without a little work. Give a little to get a lot.

“Follow these rules, you’ll have mad bread to break up.”--B.I.G

The Wrong.

You’re the One!

2012-01-13T11:37:00.003-05:00

“And Yes I’m kinda crazy,

That’s what happens baby,

When you put it down

You shouldn't give it to me

Good like that,

Shouldn't hit it like that,

Had me yellin’ like that

Didn’t know you would’ve had me coming back”--Rhianna

It’s not secret, I’ve become what I often criticize others for being. Yes, I’m going to start taking council for this too so you’ll hear this once and once only, Mr. Wrong is a Rhianna Groupy.
Now that we’ve gotten that out the way, let’s get to the point of this post. Often times you listen to a song and read into the lyrics, and that propose the questions, Is there such a thing as the song indicates? Don’t get me wrong in any physical interaction there’s going to be some performers that, for lack of better words, are Oscar worthy, where some, well, are not even off Broadway. In the song in question,Rhianna says that he shouldn't have given it good like that... now hold on there. So if you’re doing it good then she’s guaranteed to come back? Is that how it goes? What about the ones that don’t come back?? Long story short, I'm reading way too much into it.

When people’s performances are great they sometimes aren’t aware that they are. Allow me to retort, often times when someone is great, they know they’re good (routine dictates this) but they aren’t aware of how great they are because after a while of being great, you start to believe the routine and go about it as if it’s just the way things go. Often times when you’re the recipient of such greatness, it’s quite confusing if you should buy a ring, get them a sandwich or just don't say a word. No this is serious business, a lot of performers aren’t accustom to getting compliments.

For the most part there is a curse that accompanies the performers such as the mistaken identity, and what I mean by that is sometimes the person on the receiving end feels, well this might be “love” instead of just star struck. Here’s an example, Jeezy got hit by a bold head girl (s/o Amber Rose), and we know Bobby got Whitney twisted, and not to mention countless others. Now how do we determine if someone is star struck? It’s easy since you’ll see their actions aren’t rational.

Great performances however never last forever because as many songs as their maybe, as many movies they might make on your behalf [Kill Bill series--for Uma Thurman] after awhile people move on to what’s concrete. Most great performers have a lot more to offer but the clouded judgements aren’t usually rational enough to tell. “To the Victor goes the spoil” or One man’s lost is another man’s gain (Wiz Khalifa) the world will understand. I leave you with this, understand that even if they keep coming back because of how you put it down, they will eventually get over it and move to bigger (lol) better things.

Mr. Wrong

Rationality Consulting Group

2012-01-09T11:40:00.001-05:00

The Year is Twenty twelve, and although we are on course for an impending doom according to the Mayans, there is a strong need for the following; I would like to introduce the Rationality Consulting Group. From the beginning of time we’ve had to deal with overly excited individuals whom at time may make decisions that later on would look back and ask the “what was i thinking” and that’s the reason for this group. Historically we understand there are a lot of public individuals that would benefit from this consulting group, take for instance the 20/20 interview with Mike Tyson & Robin Givens, where Robin would go on to tell Babara Walters that Mike beats her. RCG would swoop in and cancel this entire interview, after all it would be beneficial to both parties. Take for instance the whole Dan Quayle Potato spelling incident, once again we’d be there to clean it up. Let’s face it stars need a group around that is going to make that stellar decision when they decide to get on stage and take the mic from Taylor Swift so that that particular moment never happen. I understand you may feel that you don’t need a group like this but over the years society hasn't shown that it does not need an evaluation group.

Now let’s evaluate the reason for this group. Mr. Sean Carter & his lovely wife, “B” welcome a new addition to the family and the world welcomes another reason for a need of Rationality. The new baby was named Blue Ivy, I know what you’re wondering, did someone along the way not ask how they came to that conclusion for the name? what names were lost out of the list, that they didn’t pick [apple sauce or pork chop maybe] we have to ask our self why do celebrities do the things that make you wonder if there was much thought put into it. You may recall Michael Jackson named his child Blanket, and Apple Gwyneth Paltrow’s child, and then there’s this one that I won’t even try to pronounce Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha (Lisa Bonet).

Now more then ever there is a need for rational decision making that will structure the future of society, we know celebrities have money but there is a strong need to have someone say, wait i think or we need to think this one through.

The following are names that didn’t make the cut or couldn’t get endorsement.

Apple Sauce

McChicken

Little Bullet Wound

Toilet Paper Head

Summer’s Eve

Names already taken

McLovin

Douche

Commando

Here’s a list of outlandish celebrity baby names that you may find interesting.
Sunday Rose: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban
Zola Ivy: Eddie Murphy and Nicole Mitchell
Zuma: Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale (also: Kingston)

Rear Window 2011

2011-12-29T11:12:00.002-05:00

“Everything! Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.”---Yoda.

It is customary at the end of every year to look back and evaluate or clean the mess you’ve
compiled during the last year. We’ve looked on the wrongs of 2011 and wondered if perhaps we had a hand in the debacle that was...I mean the year started with the ground shaking [A magnitude 7.1 earthquake shakes southern Chile..Jan 2nd] dead birds and dead fish, and quickly moved to scandal after scandal. You may recall a certain Wiener gate (the wiener that wasn’t a congressman’s..), but that’s moving way too fast the revolution had started prior (Egypt, Lybia). As upstanding and stellar individuals we decided in the court of public opinion that Casey Anthony would not be a good choice for baby sitting your little bundle of joy[Orlando, Fla., jury finds Casey Anthony, 25, not guilty of murder.Jul 5]. Wait, did I mention the Govenor had a black child, Oops! [July 1..Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed he fathered a child with a member of his household staff]. See congressman Wiener wasn’t the only one smashing or have smashed ex: Herman Cain[Herman Cain suspends his campaign amid allegations of sexual improprieties..Dec 3].

The entire year did not revolve around scandals there were some quite heart ranching moments.
The people of Japan literally watched the earth shift 8 inches[Magnitude-9.0 earthquake and resulting tsunami strike Japan's northeastern coast..March 11] and while we watched on social media and YouTube all the footage some real time the devastation that transpired. The world also witness the changing of the guards with revolutionary explosions from Egypt to Libya the world witness the departure of Osama bin Laden and Moammar Gadhafi after decades of great television series (eg: Bin Ladin tapes) they exited stage right.

As the year took form and presented it self, there were constant instability since this was the year that showed up with death [Dead birds, fish, cows] to the point were everyone’s concern was perhaps the Mayans calculations might have been off but that was only the first couple of months. Did we mention the not quite accurate predictions...May 21, 2011 #Jesus Returning complete fail, along with in consistency and unexplained incidents that for arguments sake are yet to be determined by our psychics as of right now (predictions were off) needless to say we had quite a year.

As we bid Adieu to 2011, more shenanigans are already peaking through the windshield of our locomotives, one of my favorite bad guys Hugo Chavez (still alive) has been diagnosed with cancer and of course the Dark side is to blame..(if you let him tell it), we welcome you with open arms 2012 just brush up on your predictions sine 11/11/11 didn’t really amount to a pill of---so let’s keep it close to reality.

Onward...Journey into the unknown.
Is this the year to keep our resolution?

Mr. Wrong

Birds of Feathers

2011-12-26T22:52:00.002-05:00

In the 16th century, in an interpretation of Plato’s Republic, and later in 1545 when William Turner wrote a version of the expression in The Rescuing of Romish Fox. The phrase Birds of a Feather stipulate that animals or people of similar character, background, or taste tend to congregate or associate with one another, as displayed in the animal kingdom. The pack of Hainas or Gazelles, you get the picture. At my old age if there’s one thing I've come to master is the art of observing. Certain traits are often waved off when it relates to personality or character flaw, but as in the wild we do tend to stick with our kind [ you see me rolling you ain’t gon catch me ridding dirty].

Why do birds flock? There are a number of social factors--- reproduction, protection, communication and so on. But one instance is that in reproduction you don’t see birds mating outside the circle, hence one male could possibly mate with multiple females within the flock. Perhaps that’s the sense of security or protection, in any case it’s always interesting to watch the wild and observe the games within the flocks.

Like birds, humans tend to “flock” together as well, you might not have noticed but somewhere along the line, from your first day in kindergarden up until you were an adult, you may have found yourself attracted to the personality that best fits you. ex: cheerleaders have cheerleader friends and drug dealers have drug dealer friends (you get the picture). The human nature is to try to fit in with the groups that best fits us, sometimes we can pretend to fit a group and become what others want us to be, but we are who we are and will return to our roots. In the movies, the stories always have some type of meaningful lesson, sometimes in real life we never learn the lesson until the class is over.

I’m not sure if some of you have ever been at a cross roads when you realize you might not be in the right flock. But you have to be who you are, so perhaps this could be your wake up call to where you should be going as oppose to where you are now. In hindsight, it’s best to live the life you want to live rather then live the life you’re pretending to live.
While animals have learned to live the best possible environment they use their keen sense when change in seasons, so they migrate towards better more suitable climate, --- we humans have yet to learn such a lesson.

My challenge to you, take a glance in the mirror and see if you’re flocking with the right birds and if you are following the rules of nature? After all,aren’t we nature’s little creatures.

Mr. Wrong

Our Generation

2011-12-07T12:00:00.001-05:00

We are a generation without weight in history. No purpose or place. We do not have a world war. We have no great depression. Our war is spiritual. Our Depression is our lives. We are created through the TV to believe that one day we would be millionaires, movies stars or rock stars. BUT WE ARE NOT. –Fight Club

For the most part, my generation is at a stand still. We are the generation that doesn’t have anything to show for it. It’s all been done, and we don’t care long enough to realize we haven’t set our own foot print in the sand of time. Take for example the occupy movement-- does any one that has seen this on television have any idea what exactly they are demanding or what they are protesting about, and what would they rather have? We have a generation-next without any demands. All I'm saying is that in the 60’s or 70’s the movements had a purpose and a clear idea of what they were fighting for. We have it all on the fast pace social network and, well, we don’t care enough to understand why. Over all, does this generation have a leader? Do we have a front runner who’s the voice of this generation? We are the generation that elected President Obama, but then forgot that we could elect such informative individuals to the point of not having any predecessors.

As a child we use to play with legos and building blocks; this exercise was to prepare us for the reality of life. In life nothing is given, there’s no easy pass, not reality tv-- instead there’s facing the truth. For this generation of Jersey Shore watching, real housewife wannabe adolescents, the fact is that there is no short cut. This generation doesn’t know how to build from the ground up. Rather they wanna be a millionaire so freakin bad to stand next to Oprah-- but don't know that Oprah had to earn her millions. To paraphrase Kanye, before you can ball, there’s that crawl. No one wants to hold a 9 to 5-- instead they wanna get on that “real world” and get that 15mins of fame. The down side is that it’s just that. After the lights go off there’s no endorsement deals.

We are the generation of tv dinners and the fast lane-- get it now. Meet you, in 4 months we get married, and 6 months have our first fight, and 8 months well, “Que cera, cera”. We need to be better, we have not trained future generations on what it took to get here. We keep referring to MLK and JFK but no one really cares about the work they put forth. The age of technology should be used for more then just facebooking and tweets. It should be in search of innovation and knowledge. Never before has information been so readily available to all and yet no one seeks the knowledge.

As a member of the 99% i’ll take my occupy movement to the right place, to ciber space and get the facts. Second rule of Fight club, DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!

Mr. Wrong

Mr. & Mrs.

2011-12-02T10:12:00.001-05:00

“Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy

She'll beat you if she's able

You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet”--The Eagles

In a recent conversation with some of my social media friends, we engaged in a long drawn out conversation that ended up, for lack of better words, Defending the Caveman. Our discussion was as simple as apple pie on a warm summers day. It preceded an interjection from my friend’s status that stated a popular political figure who’s transgressions are all being put on display (tiger woods style); and my friend, let’s say she’s eluding to feeling “sorry” for the wife of said individual. Now granted, Man Law 119 Section 3 prohibits any conversation that leads to the following words: “All man cheat” --because it doesn’t amount to anything but banter and well finger pointing.

In my opinion, when a person steps outside their vows the other partner is aware, and in most cases the concern starts with a look, a feeling in some cases, a scent, or lipstick on a shirt. My argument was: Why should I feel sorry for her? I’m certain she was aware of this situation, having been in the marriage for over twenty years. The counter argued that “Society” expects the woman to stay with her cheating husband. Now, granted, some of you might be living for society but let it be know that Mr. Wrong just don’t give a damn what your opinion of him is. And society can kiss my *ss. Is it really that cut and dry that a person can stay in a situation knowing that it’s bad but because of society’s opinion they'd rather be unhappy? I tend to be of different perspective. I want to feel as if the result depicts the circumstance.

There’s a commercial for Lays potato chips: you can’t have just one. Well in most cases what leads to a situation is usually just that mind set. The person being cheated on usually can convince themselves that one time, but that (tiger woods) usually doesn’t end that way.
We each reach a point in life when we realize that chasing skirts is not as important as the foundation we lay. A happy home is a home where communication and values are more important then societal points of view. “Til death do us part” is a beautiful phrase but let’s not get carried away. If a situation isn’t working use a different excuse. Be it a man or woman, if you draw the queen of diamonds, well, you won’t get far. You see, what if the marriage is based on a financial situation (in our case he’s a high profile executive and the mortgage is paid)? So, forget the queen of hearts.

To be understood, I wouldn’t bet on "Til death do us part" --perhaps we can get the church to over look that part. Well, I’ve done my part in defending the caveman. Once again, I hope it’s clear that Mr. Wrong will in fact leave before death... if you slack.

Enjoy.

Mr. Wrong.

The TinMan!

2011-11-28T04:08:00.001-05:00

In the wizard of Oz, the Tinman wanted a heart. Unbeknown to him, a heart could only lead to complications.Allow me to elaborate. In the Great Book way back in the beginning, Adam was given a heart as well as boredom and dominion over all things. In time he felt that companionship was necessary [granted, with a heart that was inevitable]. Then the lord gave him a woman. Long story short, he felt it necessary to entrust her with said heart. Now I'm not going to lecture you on the outcome, but we know how that story went. Fast forward to another part of the Great Book. Lot was also given a heart and lots of great things, amongst them, a fascination with beverages [yada yada yada]. He had to leave all that wealth behind including the liquor, take the wife, and focus on the path-- what God had asked. Lot was to leave it all, not question, do not stop, do not look back [pass go and do not collect that 200]. At the intersection of 42nd and Broadway, came the person with possession of his heart. Needless to say she turned to stone and Lot kept going.

The moral of the story is that at any point in Man's life a woman is going to be a deciding factor. You can come to that crossroad sooner and sometimes it comes to you later; however, you will be in a position to choose. I’m not saying all woman are like Lot’s wife, perhaps some may carry the “Eve” trait or utter words like “What about me” or “ I need someone to be about me.” That’s customary. At every intersection in life, there is a man who’s on a quest--be it for success or for fame or even for bull shit. Man, from the beginning of time, has set out to conquer.

Behind every great man is a great woman and sometimes the other way around. The Tinman didn’t have a heart, yet wasn’t aware of how fortunate he was. He was safer with his ignorance than if he had the knowledge. I’m not saying that man should start being heartless I just believe that a heart can lead you down the yellow brick road with out a GPS.

History has shown that on your quest to the top, she can either push you or hold you. At the end of the day we all need love and want to be loved. Love without a heart isn’t worth having if you can’t feel it in return. But a heart in love has to decide to go left or to go right. I was trying not to have a Matrix analogy but if Neo had to chose between Zion and Trinity, well, say good night, Zion. The point is the Tinman had it good, but he didn’t know it because he was on a quest.

Mr. Wrong

Good Girl Gone Bad?

2011-11-15T22:30:00.001-05:00

[Woke up the next morning, Nikki wasn't there.

I looked all over and all I found, Was a phone number on the stairs.

It said thank you 4 a funky time, call me up whenever you want 2 grind]

--Prince Darling Nikki

Mr. S. Carter once said, “when a good girl’s gone bad, she’s gone forever.” I, on the other hand, would beg to differ. I would like to believe that a good girl can go bad, and a bad girl can go good [e.g. Pretty Woman]. But who’s measuring this level of good vs. bad? Let’s elaborate, a good girl is what?

In our society, all are judged based on what’s out in the open versus what’s not known. So by society’s standards you might be great-- a do-gooder in the eyes of us all --while maintaining your part time exotic license on the weekend (as long as you don’t run into Tyrone from back home, ‘cause that might come back to bite). She used to take offense to female tattoos (tramp stamps) but now she sports her own and calls it memorabilia (you know, sentimental value). To the ones that stay true to themselves they can tell you they don’t give a f*ck and “Talk that Talk.”

In my lifetime I’ve seen my share of sheep but who’s counting? I been me this whole time; I figured you wanted to dress up and play house. Seriously, take no offense, I’m just saying. What makes a good girl go bad if she was always bad? [She wanted to be good, promise!]. In the Pimp’s Chronicles it’s said that every girl has it in her, she just need someone to pull it out. I say she don’t need help just an excuse. And in the end? Blame it on the “L” or maybe a relationship gone bad so now she’s “scorned.”

[Stick to the point Mr. Wrong.]

This is all text book. “She was who she was when she got here” so let’s not label her. Red heels, pole, “daddy I got your money”-- that ain’t bad... just misunderstood. So a good girl gone bad is a cop-out-- keep it 100. We need to stop giving excuses for being who we are. Ladies if you like to do certain things, let him know. If he can’t deal, he can walk. But don’t compromise yourself just so you can keep a man. Realize that when he finds out you’re not what he thought, he’s gone. And that’s forever.

All I’m saying is that strippers aren’t bad and neither are nuns; they both possess the same potential-- just one excuse away from that cross. We have to see them for who they could be if they were to show their true colors. After all, if Mary Magdalene could be herself, why can’t you?

In conclusion, “let’s not play the game” (Maxwell) and be who we want to be.

Mr. Wrong

The Return of the Wrong!

2011-11-11T10:00:00.000-05:00

Mr. Goodkat: The reason I'm in town, in case you're wondering, is because of the Kansas City Shuffle.

Nick: What's a Kansas City Shuffle?

Mr. Goodkat: A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

Nick: Never heard of it.

Mr. Goodkat: It's not something people hear about. Falls on deaf ears mostly. This particular one has been over twenty years in the making. No small matter. Requires a lot of planning. Involves a lot of people. People connected by the slightest of events. Like whispers in the night, in that place that never forgets, even when those people do. It starts with a horse. [Lucky Number Slevin]

I have often been asked if I could spend an entire day just quoting movies or music in regular conversation; and I say, yes. What a wondrous pleasure it is to be in “return,” we know there is only ONE Return... of the Jedi. I promised myself I wouldn’t call it a comeback: Mr. Wrong is in the return phase. Not that I've gone anywhere, it’s just that while every one was looking right, I went left. It happens. Just get over it.

Recently through magic of google, I was reminded that the anniversary of the Ask Mr. Wrong Show (and subsequent blog) had come. It wasn’t that long ago that the idea was spewed out of Ms. Narcelo’s mouth of wrongness and it took form in the shape of exuberant blog postings. A roller-coaster of sorts, many things have led Mr. Wrong to elaborate on “Where do you rank on his Roster?” Or even to mislead or divert your attention only to bring you back with a post like “The Lost art of courtship.” You felt a certain way, kind of like the promise of “The Seasons.”

Well, needless to say, we have had some time off. It’s “Movember”! And if you’ve read you know very well what that means; and No, Mr.Wrong is not back to growing a moustache (didn’t get any last November so…) It’s the actual renewal of faith of the Wrong. I say all that to say this (inside voice): we will do better! We promise to not leave you stranded while in search of better literature (or literary shenanigans?). We also promise to come forward if we’ve ever touched you in an inappropriate manner [taking shots at Herman Cain is not nice.]

To the victor goes the spoils.

While making light of the republican candidate, we are ever so harshly reminded of the dirty life of politics. Only in the age of Obama is there such flagrant of defamation of our rights. Let us be clear, America, we are all aware that there might not be another brother in the white house (unless he’s cleaning). Furthermore we understand that Obama was a harsh wake up call, but to go to extremes from the tea party movement to the world class bigotry we see in the judicial system (Troy Davis case), it’s obvious and the message is well received. When I'm on my get right I know not to cross the lines. After the election of President Obama it appears that being black in America is not such a good idea. You may not get away with a speeding ticket; if you’re famous you might get overly polarised by the media (Tiger Woods); and if you happen to be the first Black lady then you have to shop at Target or Walmart to not offend the status quo.

WTF! So in my attempt to avoid the seriousness of life’s every day struggles, I'm easily drawn to this crazy story. A man in Florida, while perusing “craiglist” stumbled on an unsuspecting damsel in distress. The add stated that this mother of a 14 year old girl was looking to have some fun with someone and for good measure that person is free to have her blossoming young 14 year old daughter as well! So 2 for the price of 1 (*please insert in appropriate comment here*). With that being said, the usual suspects should really read the post “Do Not Respond to that Ad:”

Good Day to YOU and Welcome Back to the Wrong.

Mr. Wrong

Aforementioned Story:

http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2011/nov/07/east-naples-firefighter-accused-of-soliciting-14/

Impression

2011-08-11T08:26:00.001-04:00

Impression

                -A Strong effect produced on the intellect, feelings, or conscience [No]
                -The first and immediate effect of an experience or perception [Maybe]
                -A mark, indentation, or belief often of a vague or indistinct nature [Perhaps]

The meanings of impression are often quite vague perhaps the reason is that it’s quite difficult for a human being to be, well, precise. After all we spend a good portion of our lives giving off the so called “impression” of something whether knowingly or not that we probably aren’t and until like they say you start “keeping it real” well the impression you give well that will be more relevant then reality. This year has been quite the year and I might say that I have had a great time this summer I could go as for to say this might be my best summer. Granted I haven’t done anything major to the untrained eye to proclaim such prophetic words, but hear me out. I have made some decisions this year that has set me on course for a better, stress less life and well perhaps some sleep at night (let’s cross our fingers) but I digress. The impressions I might have left on some might not have been what I was projecting rather what was reflected from others, sometimes you walk in a room and every one has a notion preconceive but a notion none the less of what you are, and once the conversation starts sometimes you meet those notions and sometimes not. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of going to a gentleman’s establishment, well, the impression might be that the champagne room is where you might have all the fun you can handle and more but as we know “there’s no sex in the champagne room”---Chris Rock. Just as in relationships, sometimes the impressions might not all be what you say but what you don’t say [sometimes it’s exactly what you say] “I’m sorry I gave you the impression you were always going to be the only one” [that’s a memory I’d like to forget].

The impressions on companionship is often that of a great friendship provided both parallels are met at the same exact integrals, meaning we are in agreement that if you f*ck up I can take you out. Impressions last a lot longer then the smell of cheap perfume, in fact they last as long as the day is long. So in future dealings I would advise to leave a better impression of being who you are and not what you’re not (you can’t love both of us at the same time…). At my ripped old age I’m managing the impression I give by being who I am, in fact if you’ve ever met the jerk side of me well that’s me, and if you’ve met the charming soft type of me well that’s me too, but if you ever had the pleasure well…let’s not digress. The impressions you give will determine the person that you are in spite of who you are. So dear friends and great partners, I impress up on you to be who you are and never try to be someone you are not because at the end of the day you are the impression that you give and that’s who you are.

Signed, Sealed and Mostly Delivered

Mr. Wrong.

The Games we Play

2011-06-27T09:51:00.000-04:00

[Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, well that’s alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry well, that’s alright because I love the way you lie…Love the way you lie]…Rihanna

There’s this old statement that I recall as a child about how “the hole of lies ain’t deep but it can bury you” [Haitian Proverbs] the meaning of that is this, sometimes a little white lie might just bury you or get you into a much much worst off situation then you needed. Have you ever wondered while telling a lie if the other person can see through it and know you’re lying or better yet, have you ever wondered that while you’re lying the other person might just let you lie to see how far you really wanna go down the rabbit hole? I suppose if we could read one’s mind while delivering a lie we’d be able to see the simultaneous battle of convincing one self that the lie is the truth. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist [Charles Baudelaire] we’ve all heard this before but the point is that sometimes the world will take on your lie and wait for the exact time when it reveals it self. In a past life I’ve stooped in the presence of game and like on the Boondocks when Riley says “Game recognize game” I knew what he meant. Sometimes I love to watch people play the games that we all play, from the perspective of an outsider where it’s not you it’s me or the I didn’t find him interesting and later on friend him on Facebook (see what I mean) it’s funny because often times people wonder if they told you what they felt would make you really stay or believe them. In my old age I’ve grown up a bit to say f*ck it, if you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen because you will get this truth (well sometimes in small amounts).

One of the things I hate to hear people say is “To tell you the truth” or “Honestly “—that means you were lying the entire time before that statement? The fact is No man can walk up to a woman and holler unless the window has been open by that same woman.. Hear me out. Whether it’s a flick of the hair or a slight lengthy glance or even a shrug of the shoulder, a woman allows you to check them out, hence there are reasons why there are so many woman out there wondering why guys don’t come talk to them. You have to open that window, so for those who do open that window it goes as this, woman love attention we know this but what they love more then attention is a smooth “different” approach. Even if she has a husband, a boyfriend, a wife beater at home whatever, she wants to be approach with something that makes her inquisitive nature go “Mmmm” I recall a friend once said, a woman knows the minute she sees you if you’re smash potential and knows if she would let you, all that is left is for the guy to mess it up. Point taken and noted I tried in all my existence to not, but I digress.. if you’re in a relationship or a “Situation” and she hasn’t ever come up to you to say some guy checked her out, I’d worry in fact I’d start wondering what’s wrong in the relationship. I say that to say this, women allow you to check up on them and allow you to hit them up and get their number whether in a situation or not. So let’s retire the “I was drunk” or “I don’t know why I gave him my number” or the “he leaned in and so I let him”. At this point just own it, just another Wrong post from yours truly.

Coincidence

2011-06-15T09:26:00.000-04:00

So I just watched (500) Days of Summer, and at the end the narrator says that ”there’s no such thing as faith or destiny all that is, is coincidence!” And I paused to listen to well ponder on the insinuation. After all this post was initially going to be about something, maybe a rant. But then while in my mental telepathy and while being in my comfort zone well, just a split change in climate temperature and the entire world might just have shifted with the seasons. Coincidence is a unique approach and a pretty profound perspective after all, I too have met coincidence. I had often wondered if I had turned left at that light or perhaps if I had skipped that Hennessey Black party, might it all just well not gone as far. I know the relevance is coincidental but when I look back on the whale of a time I’ve had and the beauty of the learning experience, it’s been such a delight. Now along the way I’ve learned that things have happened for a reason and yes even while believing that coincidence is all it is I also believe in the all things are aligned to happen at certain intercepts of life. When I look on my departure from my decade plus a melancholy blah!, it feels as if we could only reminisce on love [MJB] but not recall the sleepless nights. I remember how she use to love me on those endless summer nights (Richard Marx) but this is not about that song rather a coincidence. In many instances people cross paths and never recall having run into one another or worst have the same common grounds or associations. Perhaps we at times are so overly consumed in our own world that well we forget to stop and look around. There’s a part in my favorite movie when Ilsa ask Lazlo “why didn’t you ever leave” and he responded “ I guess I must have forgotten” [Casablanca] the point is, in the midst of our own world necessity we forget to live and love and laugh. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel (Maya Angelou). I recall indeed summer and winter but I forgot the fall. Or the rise of my emotions which begs the question does coincidence consider that aspect? After all, if we all collide or intertwine purely coincidentally then what’s the purpose of the infamous Love emotion. What if another coincidence were to occur? Where you and I would have not loved so hard. I recall a version of a song where “she’s taken my heart , she doesn’t know what she’s done”(Patrick Swayze-Dirty Dancing). At a cross roads coincidences may reflect the negatives, yes it’s good to reminisce on the good but always be aware of the bad. I love a good flick that helps a perspective but I must say my tunnel vision doesn’t permit massive distractions so to that I say it’s a good trip. But I’ll take mine to go please.
Live well, Laugh often, Love Much!

Mr. Wrong

If You Ask Me!

2011-06-10T08:08:00.001-04:00

There are a few things that have been going through my mind that I think would be worth having a discussion or just entertain a conversation about. I understand that these might come off as a bit harsh or rude but what’s on one’s mind shouldn’t be judge—that’s rude.

The Pillar Why can’t they make a pill that helps instead of getting you in trouble, for example I understand the pills for headache I mean I’ve had migraines and they’re not pretty so I understand that need, in fact I understand Viagra too after all in the right mind set of a human without a great sexual experience well the suicide rate would increase on this planet, but I’d like to ask the makers of pills if there is such a group to look into making a pill that would help man kind [literally] I would propose a pill to get rid of nagging [as in nagging wife, girlfriends, family members] any type of nagging at all. I mean we can send a man to the moon, talk to aliens, invent laser infrared weapons…well not fully but why can’t we get rid of the worst pain a “man” can deal with. I mean nothings kill a great sexual relation ship or a side piece than a nagging woman, common son’ we don’t need to have the talk. As a matter of fact as little talking as possible just do the damm thing and get it over with.

Coming into Money Now I know Mr. Wrong is wrong for this and I know this means I’ll have no shot at getting there for attacking the queen, but damm. Why is it that when people come into money they somewhat make changes to look good. I mean plastic surgery or lifts or implants or anything. But what happen to the queen “Oprah” she never had a pretty moment [I’d still hit it] just to be clear I watch the show and I mean the camera work is great, they make her look as light as possible as Hollywood as possible but damm son! Oprah never had a pretty moment, I’m saying when we gonna all just say it I know she got money and next week Mr. Wrong’s blog may be shut down but sh*t I’m just saying what ya’ll was thinking. I know you’ve all seen the color purple “you shore is ugly” I didn’t make that up that was an honest ad-lib.
Cloning I’ve thought of this long and hard [Pause] and well the pros and cons as to why can’t I just get cloned. I know most of you are saying One Mr. Wrong is bad enough we don’t’ need another… whatever! But what are the benefits of having an extra self. Most people when placed in that particular option would want to just say why not another me means I can do more…wait wait wait. Think about that sh*t. If you’re a guy you think it’s great to get cloned you can go out with the boys and have your clone do your work sure that’s great but who’s smashing your wife and are you OK with your clone smashing your wife I mean she won’t know the difference but what if he does a better job than you? Now what? See think about it. I know you think we’ll get my close a side peace and he won’t have to smash her. OK Einstein how about your wife won’t know the difference so now you’re in trouble for him having a side piece cause it’s you having an affair. So now you see there’s not a really good reason for it. In the case of females well, you can always get more shoe shopping while your clone is out working and cussing people out. Ok how about that guy on TV you always wanted to smash sure but who’s got your house in order..Nope!!

That’s all I got for you now go think about this scenario that my co-worker Ryan had ask me---
Let’s say you’ve been dating a young woman for a while let’s say a year or so, the
Relationship is going great and well now it’s time to move in and she decided that for your birthday which is a week before you move in. she said since we’re about to move in together for your birthday she’s giving you a free pass.. Yes a free pass to go out and smash another person. What would you say?

Well Be back with The Mr. Wrong Answer on that…

Deja-vu

2011-06-07T13:53:00.000-04:00

No one ever gets a second chance at certain things, at least not in real life, and sometimes when you do, you don’t acknowledge it until it well passes you by. So, the Martix Reloaded and I got re-injected, I mean a sense of deja-vu kicked in and there I am seating across from the “Elusive”, a whole decade plus after the initial interactions. Well this time, no "Miss Education of Lauren Hill" on repeat in the back ground and of course not to mention a fairly stable young man with lots of inquisitive questions. The story goes “As time goes by”... By now most of you know my favorite movie is “Casablanca” with good measures and in the infamous scene when Rick is face to face with Ilsa, well we know the emotions that transpired, but he was a better or bitter man by then. I, on the other hand, did not share such animosity rather I was elated at a very special time in my life when I have spent the most of the past 730 days, just finding out the best way to be, yes indeed, Me. Having come to my better self as I recall an infamous Facebook posting that well I have weeded out the garbage and have now the ability to see clearer."The Lord works in mysterious ways", I often hear the mother figure say and yes as she continuously prays for my iniquities I try to be a better son by not causing to much hardship to her heart. Hence no baby mama drama [but I digress] having the awareness that one of my best friends was going to be in town for a class reunion I was absent minded to recall that yes the sly elusive diabolical [to quote the shogun] was also part of her class. So to my surprise when I contacted my besty to see when she’ll be around well she proceeded to inform me of the presence of one miss “elusive” oh the agony to be pulled right back into the matrix and all the memories replay as if the Miss Education of Lauren Hill subliminally appeared out of thin air and was on repeat again. I recall the night and I of course recall the breakfast [egg McMuffin with cheese-->she added Jelly] I have never been expose to such weirdness yet accepting I was..

Back to the story so I was across Miss Elusive, having dinner, and of course I couldn’t help myself but to ask, as I tried not to, all the questions that lingered subconsciously in my mind in a dormant stage because my mind blanked out the moment until now.
Why didn’t you call? What did I do? Why did you disappear? And well all the lame questions. Meanwhile still keeping my Billy Dee Williams cool [because I can Now] well I didn’t get any answers that would satisfied my inquisitive except well “we were young” and “I don’t know” <--[almost like a Lady Gaga song to me] But I understand and towards the evening we took a walk down Comm. Ave., not as romantic as let’s say the Charles (we did that the first time didn’t end well) so along the walk Mr. Nervous was not present and Mr. Cool (as in the other side of the pillow cool) was prominent as well as Mr. Funny. At the end of the night we exchanged pleasantry and concluded that we should indeed stay in touch..

Oh the Matrix has reloaded and there I was placed right back in. The moral of the story is well sometimes things happen for a reason or a season. Sometimes it’s best to weed out the garbage and get back in focus but often time what lies ahead is often more pleasant then what’s right along side. Just be patient and don’t rush life.

Mr. Wrong.

Avoue [Kiss & Tales]

2011-03-07T09:00:00.002-05:00

I’m no expert, and I hope you readers do not assume such of me. But I know that honesty is the best policy. As a child, that has been the teaching and we know when applied it’s mostly destructive. Seriously, when have you told the truth about something and it didn’t cost you something? Case and point you’re on the highway doing 90 in a 55; out of no where a statie comes and pulls you over just to inform you that the speed limit is indeed 55, and to ask "do you know how fast you were going?" Of course you can lie and say no or just say yeah about 90. Chances are at the end of that conversation you’re the recipient of a nice $200 fine. My point is telling the truth sometimes does cause more issues than fixes.

Now you’re a young adventurous type and have had your share of fun in your adolescent years. Now that you’ve matured you want to settle down and display more of a tolerance towards a sustainable relationship, hence, you're done smashing. Is it safe practice to apply the Honesty Rule from the get go or during, or after. In past situations I have 100% applied that rule, as you can see this is still a single writer [maybe not too smart in my part]. When asked how many people have you dated [woman’s way of asking who you smashed] you can chose to tell the truth (about 20) or as Chris Rock says 2 (woman’s standard number). No matter how many it’s been it’s never a good thing.

While listening to another track from Kreyol La’s album The singer implies that he’s going to tell her the truth, he’s going to lay it all out and do what most man won’t do. He proceeds to say that he’s dated all her friends and has even slept over their house. A whole shellacking of un-necessary information. The point is no one wants to know the truth, every one asks just to have a basis for their analysis, but no one wants to know. If a woman tells me she’s been with 2 people I’m going to assume 10, and if she says 10 I’m going to assume 20 and it’s just a normal reflex. Now granted I would hate to have to answer her questions since I lost count after 5. Once in my dealings, I laid it all out there and was open, honest; well she said I’m a “nice guy”- ah, see why it’s never a good thing? Telling the other person the truth is only confirmation of a starting point. A place where the other person can gauge where you told them you were, so later on when the number changes from 2 to 5 'cause we ran into a friend from college at the super market then we’ll revisit your first set of digits.

Avoue---- is to tell it all, to lay the truth on the line. So the honesty is that he wasn’t interested and wanted to smash! Would you still find him attractive and wonder if it’s a good idea to go out on a date with him? But if the answer is NO then you can understand why withholding that tid bit of info may be in his best interest. In the cases of those men who’ve decided to brace the world of honesty (very few) you may end up with a jaded one who’s been through the rigors and assumes you’re just trying to “smash” --in which case you’re guilty before innocent so you may be in for a long one, if you’re lucky.

The best part is simple, leave it all out there and have no fear of #winning or losing because at the end, being honest with your self is what’s going to help you through the entire process, avoiding the "the I thought you said it was 5 now it’s 10." So Honesty is the best policy and let’s see how far that takes us.

-------thanks for Reading.

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Stigma

2011-02-28T12:12:00.003-05:00

I can honestly say that sometimes a mind is a terrible thing to waste. Please feel free to follow along or not! But you do have the option to know or understand. For the majority of my life I’ve been “Black.” No, I haven’t changed my status of late, even if being black hasn’t really brought me that 40 acres and a mule... but we’ll get to that later. I wasn’t aware of being black until my parents took it up on themselves to relocate me as a young man. During my learning experience away from home, I learned of my blackness [no I wasn’t screaming like the boy from Home Alone]. The point I’m trying to make is this: The stigma that goes along with being black is entertaining and also very interesting.

Growing up in the Caribbean I learned that there are 5 continents, Europe, Africa, Americas, Asia, Oceanic [Australia] (we can blame the French later). So going forward, I came to America and learned that there are 7 continents, so you can see how already I’m confused. As I grew older, I came to understand Africa is a continent; and since I’ve learned that All black people come from Africa, well then if you’re from Africa you’re automatically black right?

No...

I guess what confused me the most was trying to place the Arabs; I mean if you’ve ever walked over to an Arab person they would tell you they’re not black [like being black is a plague]. But what’s interesting is that the Arab world is not part of Europe, so then are they part of Asia? Probably but then they wouldn’t want to be known as part of Asia, so now they must be part of Africa but wait, wait, wait... They can’t be Africans because well that would mean they are Black. I’m no Einstein but 1+1=2, maybe!!!

I was doing some reading; The earliest civilizations date back to Africa. No really, they do. So if the earliest civilization dates back to Africa [again with the 1+1] then it’s fair to say the earliest civilization was Black. After all isn’t that were all black people come from?

I digress, excuse me. Further reading illustrates that the civilization which was most advanced and organized was Egypt. So if memory serves me correctly that would indicate that Egypt is in Africa and that Egyptians are “Black.” Not so fast, young eager-to-learn one... Ask any Egyptian and they will tell you they are not black, rather, they are Arab...

Ok so let me get this straight, being black isn’t good? Well it must not be since no one wants to be black, am I right? After all, most of these groups that come from the Black continent are saying they are not. Upon acquiring the knowledge I came to understand, stigmatization is a very powerful, yet unrecognizable imposing element. Through the same patterns as literature I have learned that all bad things are OK to be black but all good things can not be. The stigma imposed on being black is easily spread when you don’t understand where things are. The world is round we are all one people but if Jesus is white but born in Africa then he’s black or am I over-thinking this? The point is the stigma of being black has always been the dark cloud that carries nothing good. Black is beautiful and we are all Africans, including you Egyptians, and Yes it’s ok to be Black and be positive in spite of the stigma.
Black History.

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All Healed Up!

2011-02-21T11:31:00.005-05:00

The inevitable subject of “getting over it.” This post is derived from one of my favorite Caribbean bands with a track called “cheri’m geri” (translation: “I’m healed up”). It’s basically about getting over the one who had you at hello, in the words of Jerry McGuire. [I.e. When you‘re in a situation where you can recall a person who had you at that moment when you couldn’t form logical thoughts.] Let’s just say it’s standard procedure for most of us. I mean some of us, of course, have had these scenarios where someone has had you on the ropes and you can’t find the right words to get over them or the correct approach, and you actually had to go to rehab to get on with life. Well, this is the way it goes...I say that to prove this. When you’re all healed up things look a lot clearer, but the getting there is the interesting part.

Have you ever taken a step back to when you were head over heels with someone and can’t quite compute how the hell you got to where you are now? You were all flowers and candy or in some cases the constant call with nothing special to say, just to say hello. I can’t say I blame any one for those situations. After all I too had those moments when you feel sick to your soul, trying to add logic to something that is, well, for lack of better words, illogical. Imagine a person having complete control over your emotions to the point where she has your heart skipping beats in her presence; or calling her on the phone and hearing her or her friends say in the background “oh it’s him”-- that sometimes does something to you. The best part of that particular emotion is that it’s not even trust worthy.

Can you really trust an emotion that can change in the blink of an eye or with the change of scenery? Look I’m not saying we’re not genuine in our love towards others. It’s just that, well, when you’re all infatuated with someone you feel and have at some point imagined the world as just the two of you, and when that’s not reciprocated you can as easily conjure up the “moving on” emotions. It’s rare to find someone that feels and keeps feeling that emotion. I can say that in a past life I loved real hard-- in fact, it’s almost as hard as remembering particular instances. The part of being at a party when the other person was there and you spent the night trying to figure out what you would say when you finally ran into them; or trying to figure out what to say or reason you called at odd hours at night….

...these things happen when you’re sick with the bug of emotions.

The Lost Art of Courtship

2011-02-15T08:46:00.002-05:00

The most beautiful things are usually the effortless things. Like, the sudden gesture of opening the door even if she’s very capable of doing so on her own. The subtle phone call just to say 'hey, I was just thinking of you.' And when she asks what you were thinking of you reply “oh, nothing.”

As a younger version of my self, I recall seeing my grandfather interacting with women in my presence and it often made me wonder what was it that made them giggle or smile as much. All the while I could not understand, since to me it was not that funny. But as I got older the art instilled in me was the ability to be charming while entertaining and understand that she’s, above all, a lady and must be spoken to as such.

The art of Courtship, starts at your upbringing, whether you’re a boy or girl, you learn at an early age how to court and how to be courted. With solid foundations you understand that settling for less just won’t do. Presently in our state of society with the evolution of technologies and the lack of parental presence in our family environment, compounded by the amount of garbage on television, we’ve come to see the diminishing of chivalry and the abashment of courting.

Men and women don’t waste time any more to get it all over and done with, within the first thirty days it’s all been said and done and we’re ready to move to the next person. Now this effect I can say is partially due to lack of parental presence: a lack of interaction between children and parents. Parents don’t share stories any more of how they met their significant other or how long it took them to give it up to the husband. You see as the times have evolved children are having children without understanding what they are in it for---yo shawty let’me holla at ya---Is not swag or G.
You see, even from watching old flicks i recall seeing Billy Dee Williams ultimate swag and smooth delivery and it made you wanna talk that smooth to woman; from listening to Motown and the likes of Luther or Teddy or Marvin you understood you needed to have great language to approach. Maybe it’s a sign that my time has passed but the lack of respect expected by the norm right now is so low that it’s OK for a young man to call a woman he’s trying to “hola at” the B- word and it’s OK, cause he’s cute...

You see if you don’t raise your worth than he too won’t know your self worth. A man will treat you the way you permit him to treat you the first time he interacted with you. Once you can establish that important factor that you are worth courting and a man has to bring his A game and not that BS from the hip hop songs then the game will have change and there will be a different view.

It’s time to stop making it easy, as well as making excuses since we are the key to the future. Let’s show the next generation that it is worth doing, treating a woman with respect and dignity is as important as watching your mouth around your elders. Once you understand that simple fact then you’ll understand the art is not dead but just on life support. And with the right amount of communication and exchanges we too can have the good old days all over again.

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La Bohème

2011-01-03T08:50:00.002-05:00

La Bohème, la Bohème, ça voulait dire, on est heureux..[Charles Aznavour]

The New Year has come and all is well. I wake up to this track of Charles Aznavour speaking of happiness and contentment which is what most feel for a new year; all the stress of the previous years are all gone with the change of times. As the clock strikes 12, we all cheer Happy New Year and just like Magic all the woes and worries of yesteryear? Gone.

Not quite as simple as that, as some would lead themselves to believe. That life is just as simple as just a clock’s hand movement to a different number, and poof all is well.

La Boheme indeed means all is well and life is beautiful. Seeing as though it is in our nature to build up the new year with "life will be different," "I’m going to do and not sit around waiting," "this is going to be my year." But as you recall 365 days ago the tune was similar. I’m not a sour puss at all, nor am I a bearer of bad news; in fact, I’m great at building myself up so I don’t need to tear you down. I have been believing life was great prior to the clock striking 12, way before this infamous change in the year. We need to realize that as we celebrate the new year nothing has changed unless we have changed our perspective on the new year. Or the new endeavors you want accomplished; you realize when you get older that time does in fact have no grace period, no "well once the new year comes all will be better! I will have a new lease on life I’m going to be out with the old and in with the new." Once we’ve come to terms that it’s not the spoon that bends, we now know what has been spoken and has been told to us at least a few if not more than a million times, "What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun." [Ecclesiastes 1:9]

The tomorrow that you dreamed would be all grand once the clock struck 12, well, that won’t change either. Wake up world, and realize that we hold our own destiny and happiness; we are the key to it all and we need to adjust to the world not the world to us.

Once I’ve woken up singing, all is happy, all is well. I came to terms with my faith. In my new year I need to change the lenses in my spectacles and view the world as it is. The never ending evolution of man’s ego and the drive to survive is what most are fighting for. I will no longer seek happiness as if it’s something I had lost or some buried treasure beneath the rainbow. I am what happiness has always been and I need to accept the things that it brings about. My search started within me when I failed to realize I was happy. See once these words were spoken the world changed and I was happy. So going forward, to you my friends, who’s perceptions were that the world would be a lot better at the stroke of 12, for you I say keep dreaming and get back to work. The world will not wait for you and you need to grab it by the horns and ride it out. As the song says, we are happy and so make yourself happy.

Peace and love…..

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My Testament

2010-12-29T09:46:00.001-05:00

On days when I wake up humming "never would've made it" - a spiritual uplifting sacrament to help me through the day- it’s eminent that my days revolved around my inconclusive yet never ending search for peace of mind. I never noticed prior to a decade plus of repetition, that I spent a lot of nights as well as days contemplating. I had a lot on my mind most of which brought me to my hearts' coronary. It wasn't until I voiced with anger that I found solitude [Kind of like Moses]. It wasn't until i voiced with anger that I was relieved of the issues at hand [...not that kind of relief]. Psychology teaches action/reaction; we do things on impulse and proceed to justify it with reason and logic. So it wasn't far fetched to assume the reactions when lies amass. Knowing that the brain can generate its own perceptions is an understatement; I keep trying to generate a relationship with Ms. Berry [Halle Berry]. Well you can see my progress is -->;
Reflection:
A full year has gone by and yes there have been many ups and few downs. Granted we’ve had to take a multitude of steps towards bettering the “community”; we‘ve had to “Understand” even when not in agreement. This has indeed been a trying year. Not the most in memory but of recent memory we could agree this year has been quite unlike any we’ve seen. Take a moment and ponder this! If you knew you were going to die in the next 10 minutes what course of action would you take? Would you spend it wondering what if? Would you regret not having done it all? Every person at the end of every year has their Testament to the year passed. Some with reflections of what they’ve accomplish some with well wishes for those whom were less fortunate. In my testament I want to expound upon the year that I've seen, in order to better the up coming. We’ve seen political instability, earthquakes, racial tensions, all the while the truth remains a Google search away [Wiki-leaks]. We’ve had the opportunity to live in this age, the Age of Aquarius! according to Astrology it’s suppose to be the age of conflict and well we’ve had our share, and according to the Mayan long-standing calendar we are nearing the End. Time waits for no man and so as it stands, there are 31,556,926 Seconds in One Year! And with every breath and every blink of an eye the seconds keep on ticking, so making the best of it should be a priority.

Growing Wiser:
In my testament I've decided for the new year I'm going to live by one of my favorite quotes “Love is stronger then Pride”...Sade. In the upcoming I will love harder, stronger, and better. After all I can’t go back and change the things that had gone somewhat astray. To better myself I'm not going to conjure up promises, I'm just going to do...[You gotta have faith in me]. The human being is the only animal that thinks about the future [Stumbling on Happiness..Daniel Gilbert]. Possibly the reason we do so is we all expect to be here tomorrow; so in our planning or lack thereof we often imagine how we would be at that moment...

Live like we dying [Kris Allen] if we all lived like we were dying would we need an annual testament of what we’d like to see for our future? Would we make the best of each and every moment? With that being said, I’m going to stop holding grudges, be a better human, and understand that we are not perfect. At my old age I'm learning to let go of the controls I spent so much energy to gain, the emotions I spent so many sleepless nights on, and over all I'm being here Now!

Making Love

2010-12-22T05:11:00.006-05:00

Recently while indulging in a conversation over a feeling, one of my friends was surprisingly enough on the same page. It’s some what unusual when you’re a single person to have the feeling of love making; Allow me to retort, the feeling isn’t of having a sexual encounter but of having a sexual experience. In the movies there is a lack of portrayal of love and I use the term loosely, from scenes like Monster’s Ball with Halle screaming “Make me feel good” to just plain lusting in Original Sin [Angelina Jolie & Antonio Banderas] love in itself is so versed that there isn't quite a valid explanation nor is there a conclusive understanding of the word. I’m not here to determine the word just the emotion of the moment. I asked a friend [female] have you ever made love? Now I deliberately did not mention the misleading “to someone” or “with someone” because I wanted her mind to work the same as mine would if I were posed this same question. In return she responded “Once, on a snowy December night, I made love like I created the meaning of the word.” that I found quite exhilarating kind of like the feeling of a sequential or mental alignment. I knew I didn’t want to lead her answer so I left it up to her interpretation.

While addressing the same topic with one of my male friends. I proceeded to voice my concerns about the availability to make love and perhaps not even knowing how. I went as far to say that I don’t recall if I ever had made love (blasphemy). My friend elaborated on having done it once and to this day he is in search of that moment ( kind of like looking for big foot). The making love is not the physical. Definitely not the sex on the wall or the head board banging or the dirty talk, no we’re not f*cking or having sex, or wham bam thank you maam. I mean the mood is set right (Gerald Levert) the parties are in line and the moment is right, we both understand there is no rush not at all not tonight. There is silence there are whispers, there is the smell of each others sent on the shoulders and the feel of cheeks touching and the chill down your spine. You feel the pulse of your mate, the beat of their heart in sync with yours. The love making that this in tails is this the ability to just sit and watch each other undress and just take the time to sit and hold naked while not rushing into the moment but holding it, holding the moment to moment to capture that essence of words that only the mind could conjure up when in a state of euphoria. The love that after the implosion comes the exhilaration and delight the pleasure of I don’t ever want to let go as this moment. That moment is what was missing and some of us wonder if we could ever have that moment. The moment you understand that when it’s all done and you lay in each other's arms there is the conversational discourse that takes place when the two of you with minimal words are exchanging the mental replay of what had taken place, that moment my friends is the making love the moment well we sometimes comes across once in a well long very long time. So I dare say like the song "I feel like making love"…

Peace and Love to all…