The Computer Skeptic

WHAT’S ON MY PHONE?

2015-05-28T15:37:00.002-05:00

So what’s on my phone and why should you care? Because I have lots of cool stuff that you may not know exist, is why! The following smartphone apps are things that I find valuable yet are largely unknown by most of you. Some of these are even more valuable that my, er, “bodily sounds generator” app.

Mightytext: Install the app on your phone, computer and tablet and all your text messages appear simultaneously on your phone, computer, and tablet. You can respond to texts via your computer’s keyboard which is way more handy than the phone’s keyboard.

Google Voice: Google will give you a free phone number with an area code of your choosing. Once you sign up for a number, you can forward calls made to Google Voice to your smartphone. That enables you to give your Google Voice number to people you may not ever want to actually hear from such as the IRS or a creepy person. When they call, you can choose to answer the call or block it completely. Another nifty feature is that voicemails are transcribed for you and sent to you via text/email if you so choose.

For those of you who use Verizon, Verizon Messenger is your stock messaging app on steroids. You can send/receive standard text message, of course. But you can also send your location (handy when trying to hook up with friends). AT&T has a similar product that is not quite as robust. For those travelling internationally, text messages are sent via WiFi when available so you don’t have to sign up for an expensive international phone plan when you travel to Tahiti. Facebook members should certainly install Facebook Messenger. It is awesome.

Geeks have been gushing over “notebook” organizers like Evernote and OneNote for years but I prefer Google Keep. Keep allows you to organize notes and checklists on your phone that can be shared in real time with others. The most handy feature is the grocery list. Tammy can enter grocery items on the shared checklist at home and I’ll instantly see them appear on my list while I’m shopping.

Do you have an old iPhone or Android wasting away in a drawer somewhere? Put it to use by turning it into a security camera. Simply download an app called Alfred on your old and newer phone, link the accounts, then mount your old phone in an area you need to monitor. Whenever motion is detected, you’ll receive a text message with a picture of the intruder. You can then launch the app and see real time video with audio of whatever’s going on. Mount it near your front door to see who’s knocking. Set it up in your motel room as a security camera or use it to monitor your pets while you’re away.

I’ve shown you mine, now show me yours! Please share with me what apps you can’t live without.

SPEAK TO ME, BABY

2015-04-30T10:56:00.001-05:00

I’ve been looking forward to talking to my computer since I was a kid. The ability to do so with our Smartphones has been around since 2010 but has really become indispensable only for the last couple of years. I’m always a bit surprised at the amazed reactions of people when I whip out my phone to ask a question and the phone speaks a bet-winning answer. Y’all really need to get up to speed. You’re missing out on some awesome. So, this article is for those of you who are still old school.

Voice capability comes in many flavors. iPhone users have Siri, Windows phone users have Cortana and Android users have Google Voice. They each have strengths and weaknesses but all work essentially the same.

So without further adieu, here are some cool commands that you really should be using: First, navigation. You can speak, “Navigate to Orange Beach, Alabama” or “Navigate to home” or “Navigate to 116 East Mobile Street.” You can also speak, “Where’s the closest gas station (or Italian restaurant or doughnut shop)?” or “Give me walking directions to City Hardware” and it shall be provided.

Location based reminders are really cool. You can tell your phone to “Remind me to pick up a gallon of milk at Publix,” or “Remind me to steal a ream of paper when I get to work,” or “Remind me to take out the garbage when I get home.” Your phone knows when you arrive at Publix or work or home and will remind you a few minutes after you reach the destination.

Speaking of reminders, you can simply speak, “Remind me of my haircut appointment tomorrow at 2:30pm,” or “Set calendar appointment for July 4th, pool party” and you will be reminded to party on that date and time. You can say, “Set timer for 4 and a half minutes” to cook a perfect steak.

When speaking a text or email, you can say “comma”, “period”, “exclamation point”, and “question mark” at the appropriate points and appear to be smart.

And of course you can relegate complicated math to your phone such as “How many quarts are in a gallon?” or “What’s 95 degrees in celsius?” or “What’s 420 times 714?” and get an instant answer without even bothering your brain.

I have no idea.

You can open apps on your phone. For example, while exercising or driving, you can speak, “Play music” or “Play playlist workout music” and your phone will play whatever’s stored on your phone. You can also say, “Launch Pandora app (or Spotify or whatever music app you use)”. You can also ask, “Who plays this song?” Your phone will listen and provide an answer.

You can speak, “Send a text to Tammy I love you baby” (which is usually followed by a “What have you done now?”). You can speak, “Send an email to Joe Blow, subject beer, message body, bring more beer to the game” and not only will that email be properly composed but beer will magically appear.

MY ADVENTURES IN TIME TRAVEL

2015-04-16T12:41:00.000-05:00

This is a true story. Back in 1980, I was 18 years old and devised a way to communicate with my future self using a special radio that, when combined with strong aurora borealis events, altered spacetime in a way that allowed me to send radio waves through time and communicate with my future self. I recently came across one of my journal entries from 1980 and want to share it with both my readers.

April 15, 1980. The latest communications with my future self involve the evolution of technology over the next 35 years. The year is 2015. The pace of technological development is both disappointing (no flying cars or robot servants) and incredibly exciting. The best news is that my future self has somehow managed to avoid prison and rehab and married a beautiful woman. I can’t wait to tell mom!

In 2015, there are dozens of satellites orbiting 12,5000 miles above the planet that communicate with “smart telephones” carried in the pockets of nearly everyone. These computers communicate with these satellites in order to pinpoint your exact location at any point on Earth. The same technology can be used to give people directions to points of interest via a television screen that fits in the palm of the hand! In the future, when someone tells me to “get lost”, it will be impossible to do!

Sending a letter through the postal service is considered “quaint” in 2015. Love letters and business communications are now sent instantly through cables and satellites via a process called “electronic mail.” My future self actually communicates regularly with people in Shanghai, China. The same handheld computer used for navigation translates Chinese to English in real time. Language is no longer a barrier for the human race!

Cars that drive themselves are making headlines in 2015. I also have spotty communications with my 2040 self (The spottiness is evidently related to a weird radioactive disturbance centered around present-day Iran). Those communications suggest that, sometime between 2015 and 2040, it will become illegal for humans to drive their own cars. Computer drivers are evidently much safer.

In 2015, a significant percentage of the planet’s population has instant access to the entire human race’s body of knowledge. If one needs to know something, they can simply speak their question into a handheld or home computer and instantly become educated on any subjects. Anyone on the planet can sit in front of a computer and take a college level course from a Nobel Prize winning professor! Unfortunately, people instead use that miraculous technology to learn new jokes and trade insults.

My future self shared his disappointment that so many people of his era take all these miraculous developments for granted. I hope that I will grow up to appreciate these technological wonders and share that enthusiasm with everyone I know. Maybe I’ll choose a career in technology or write newspaper articles or something.

STOP THIS CRAZY THING!

2015-03-18T14:12:00.000-05:00

I am finally breaking ground on my new home next week. Those of you who have built a house before know that “next week” means “next month” in construction time but we have our fingers crossed for next week. I want to share with both my readers some of the new technology I’ll be implementing.

I will be utilizing new construction techniques will ensure a very efficient home that will be very inexpensive to heat and cool. I’ll be installing a high efficiency air conditioning system and hot water heater that will come with a thermostat that can be controlled via my smartphone. If I forget to turn off my air when I go to Gulf Shores, I can turn it off while I’m on the beach. When I’m on my way home, I can the AC and hot water on so my house will be ready for me when I arrive.

I’ll have a front door and garage door that can be unlocked by smartphone. I don’t know what purpose this will serve but isn’t that just cool as all getout? I’ll have wireless security cameras throughout the exterior of my home that I can monitor from my phone. The cameras will send me a text every time they “see” something move when I’m not home. I shall be inundated with pictures of deer eating my flowers 24/7.

After years of fits and starts, home automation is now maturing. Stoves and ovens can be programmed by smartphones to cook a perfect meal. Refrigerators will text you when you’re out of milk or eggs. Doors will tell you when they are unlocked. One very cool website, IFTTT.com, connects these things and make them work for you. IFTTT stands for “If This Then That.” With IFTTT, I can program my smartphone to turn on my thermostat when I leave the office so I’ll be comfy when I walk in my door. I can also tell it to “turn on my coffee pot” when I hit the “snooze” button on a internet-connected alarm clock.

I’ll be installing internet connected LED lighting throughout my house. There will be exterior lighting for my landscape that I can control with my smartphone or tablet. I can change the brightness and even the color from afar. Again, I don’t know why I’d need to do that but ain’t that cool?

UPS just delivered my Sonos™ wireless speakers! Sonos provides wireless speakers that allow you to play music throughout your home. With Sonos, I can use my tablet or smartphone to tell my kitchen to play me some upbeat cookin’ music while my wife enjoys her relaxing New Age stuff while soaking in the bathtub (Why yes she is spoiled, thank you). It plays music from all the popular online music sources as well as integrates with your existing home stereo so you can play your own private stash.

I’ll be sharing more cool technology as we progress so stay tuned!

HONESTY IS SUCH A LONELY WORD

2015-03-06T11:07:00.001-05:00

This article was inspired by a single sentence buried in a recent editorial published in that other local newspaper. The article was spot-on concerning the lack of honesty from our elected leaders and the news media one sentence from that editorial has been a burr under my saddle ever since I read it: “Businessmen are generally taught in the finest business schools that honesty is a weakness.” Really? Granted, the brunt of my classes were taken at a private Methodist college where such teachings would go against official doctrine so maybe I was sheltered, but I doubt it.

As any businessperson would attest, we are offered a daily chance to scam or otherwise be dishonest. I could sell a client a used hard drive and pass it off as new. I could underreport my meager earnings to the tax man. I could get into the big bucks by developing some scam software. Or, hey, here’s a good one: I could convince you all that I’m building Disneyland in your back yard! There are so many other chances to cheat my fellow man and increase my wealth but I do not. Why? Well, evidently because I didn’t attend one of the “finest business schools” that turn me into a cheat and liar.

If I’m completely honest with myself (which is VERY hard to do) I admit to a bit of envy for the scam artists I often write about in this column. I was in awe of the skills of the “IRS agent” who tried to scam me a few weeks ago. The fellow from Nigeria that will soon mail me a $5,000 check is making a killing from less skeptical people. The companies that sell “registry optimizers” and sham antivirus programs are living the good life while I toil to make an honest living.

Other than calling out that editor for making a foolish statement, I think what I’m trying to say is this: You folks who fall for scams and install all that junk software or otherwise fall for scams need to understand that dishonest people are everywhere and they are after you. When an online ad says you can speed your computer up or fix “registry” or “driver” problems, don’t believe it. When the IRS or the utility company calls the threaten you, hang up on them. You darn sure shouldn’t hand over your credit card to anyone who asks for it.

You’re wrong, Mr. Editor of that other newspaper; scammers take the same easy route that Pat Robertson and some theme park developers take: They prey on your greed and fear. They promise you the world in exchange for a little bit your soul. That’s not taught in business school. That’s something they learn on their own.

2015 TECHNOLOGY PREDICTIONS

2015-01-22T14:32:00.001-06:00

In my last article, I stated that Google Glass was a failure and would only be successful in niche markets. I change my mind. Google Glass is cool, dad gummit! I want to be able to beam data straight into my retina so I’m not giving up on it. Google Glass will rise from the ashes and become

awesome. Please?

I predicted that being able to cheaply print your own legos and Tupperware would become a reality in 2014. I was wrong. 2015 is the breakout year for that, I promise.

Drones that deliver packages to your door will NOT happen in 2015. It’s a cool idea but the liability blows my mind. Maybe in 10 years.

I recently paid $200 for a smartwatch. It is awesome but just a little buggy. 2015 will see smart watches perfected and more awesome than mine for under $75.

With the recent surge in health and fitness bands, I’m going to go out on a limb and predict that someone will introduce a gadget that you put in your mouth that will count calories and make you feel guilty in real time.

Someone will announce a new type of smartphone battery that is powered by “energy scavenging.” It will charge itself much like old “windless” watches using motion. People like me who sit at a desk all day long will still have to use the old fashioned charger.

Someone will introduce a “subvocalization” gadget that you wear close to your Adam’s apple. It will “hear” you speak commands into your phone without you actually speaking. Everyone who uses this will look like they are choking on a chicken bone. Your phone will respond to you via a nearly-invisible earbud.

Someone will introduce new 3D technology that will allow you to interact with your friends much like Princess Leia interacted with R2D2 back in 1976 in a galaxy far, far away. You’ll be able to don a pair of 3D glasses in your living room and walk through a home plan or virtually sit in a boardroom in Japan.

This will be the breakout year for home automation. Great strides have been made in controlling your thermostat, door locks and lights but virtually all new home construction in 2015 will include some advanced automation technology - including the home I am about to build. I can’t wait to share some of my new home with you folks. Happy new year!

THE SYLVIA BROWNE OF NERDS?

2015-01-09T09:23:00.006-06:00

Back in January of last year I decided to test my psychic powers by making some technology predictions for 2014. I am happy to report that my psychic powers suck. Perhaps that is a bit harsh as I managed to nail a few easy ones but I would certainly not ask me for stock tips. Here are some highlights:

Last year I predicted, “This will finally be the breakout year for wearable computing devices such as watches, headsets and bracelets.” This was way easy and of course I nailed it. Fitness bracelets are all the rage now and I recently purchased my first smartwatch. However, I predicted that Google Glass would enjoy “lukewarm” success. Lukewarm was far too strong a word. Glass is “eyewear” that sports some computing power, a camera and a small screen that beams information straight into your eyeball. It’s too early to call it a failure but the current incarnation of this device is dead. Neither Google or I anticipated that people would react so negatively to the thought of people wearing a video camera on their head all the time. I still have hopes of Glass causing a revolution in niche industries such as medicine and aviation but you troglodytes ruined my geek party for now.

I predicted that Apple would release a smartwatch that would revolutionize the (then) burgeoning new smartwatch industry. Apple did “announce” one but it will not be released until at least March of this year. It appears to be super cool but no more “revolutionary” than current smartwatch offerings.

I predicted that not much would happen with regards to combining the television with your computer. Sure ‘nuff, we are still streaming video through Netflix just like we did in 2010 and doing our computing the same way we’ve done it for decades.

I predicted that 2014 would be the year for affordable home 3D printers. I totally hosed that one. The ability to print your own army men and Tupperware is still a few years off. Booo.

I predicted that Microsoft stock would fall from $36 to less that $30. It now trades at $47. Oops! I also predicted Microsoft would offer an update that would make Windows 8 less horrible. They will do so but not until the fall of 2015. I predicted that Apple and Google stocks would increase by at least 25%. I nailed Apple but Google is down at least 10%. I predicted that Bitcoin would be worthless. One Bitcoin was worth about $1000 last January. It now trades at $300.

So, out of 10 predictions, I nailed 4 easy ones. I reckon that’s better than your average psychic but I think I’ll keep my day job. I’ll test my abilities against in the next article. Happy New Year!

You Poor Gullible Suckers!

2014-12-11T13:38:00.000-06:00

Being a good skeptic requires that constantly remind myself that "There, but for the grace of God, go I." If I’m not careful, I can allow myself to look down my large-ish nose at those of you who fall victim to scams. Every time I allow that, Karma delivers unto me a large slice of humble pie. Here are the details of that witches latest visit.

I received a call from an “investigator” for the Federal District Court Warrant Division. I immediately suspected a scam because, thanks to the statute of limitations, there was no reason the Feds would need to talk to me for any reason. But if I was wrong the ramifications were quite severe. Besides, assuming it was a scam, I wanted to know how it worked so I could write about it. So I let him reel me in.

This guy was professional yet assertive when he accused me of ignoring a Federal jury summons. He knew my wife’s name, my street address and some other personal details that anyone could find about me but his preparation was impressive. At no point did he attempt to extort money from me. That omission caused me to further question my surety that he was a scammer. He knew exactly how to get me to overcome my suspicions. I told him I would research this and call him back.

When I got home that evening, I thought it would be fun to have my wife call this guy and get to the bottom of the scam. I didn’t let on to her how scared I was. He told her that Federal Law would not allow him to reveal my information to her. Tammy told them I was mentally unstable, didn't think clearly, and was "freaking out" over this (all of which are partially true). She informed the investigator that she had Power of Attorney over me and demanded they tell her what she needed to to get this behind us. They finally “set the hook” by asking her to go to a CVS pharmacy, purchase a MoneyPak card for $350 then call them back with the card number. After blessing his heart for being so patient with us, she hung up and we had a laugh. I was far more relieved than I let on.


Don't EVER send a stranger a Moneypak. EVER!

Afterwards I pondered all the poor souls out there that must be getting scammed at that very moment. If these guys could make me, an expert, sweat a little, they certainly could motivate someone less knowledgeable about this stuff. In fact, the very next day, I watched a local news report of a woman who had a similar scare from “the IRS.” There’s a similar scam floating around concerning Florence Utilities. There will be others and you or someone you know will get one of these calls.

The moral of the story: The moment you think you are smarter than someone else, Karma will invariably bring you down a notch.

More info: http://news.uscourts.gov/warning-arrest-warrant-scam

CRAYCRAY FOR PCMATIC

2014-11-25T12:29:00.002-06:00

The Founder standing beside a image of pure crap

Do y’all want to know how to drive a geek craycray? Make him watch a commercial for “PCMatic” over and over. For the past few months, the TV has been inundated with a commercial for a antivirus program called PCMatic. It promises to rid your computer for viruses and spyware, optimize your computer, “clean” your registry, speed up your internet and fix your marriage. I may have made that last thing up.

I’ve seen this kind of junk before. You may recall an article I wrote a couple of years ago concerning a similar product called “SpeedMyPC” that was an outright rip-off. I was motivated to check out PCMatic after seeing their new commercial featuring and old Dallas Cowboys star quarterback from 1978 that no one remembers. I’ve also seen this program on a couple of client’s computers. Seeing my clients get scammed gets my goose every time so I put a freshly loaded computer on the bench on my shop, fired it up, and downloaded PCMatic to see how scammy they were.

The result? Well, they were not as scammy as I thought they would be. The program, to my surprise, didn’t detect any viruses. It simply suggested a few tweaks to my registry, suggested some adjustments to my internet settings that promised to speed up internet speed and recommended I defrag my hard drive. Otherwise, my computer was in pretty good shape.

That's still too expensive!

So I had to dig deeper to find the dirt on these people so here is the truth: ANYTHING that promises to “keep your drivers updated” or “scans your registry” or tweaks your internet for more performance is snake oil. Here at the shop, we “tweak” registry settings and occasionally update a faulty driver when necessary but no one needs to mess with these things unless you know what you are doing. One could argue that these tweaks are almost necessary if you are running Windows XP but modern operating systems like Vista, Windows 7 and Windows 8 take care of these tweaks for you.

PCMatic claims they are the best antivirus in the world based on tests run by an independent antivirus testing agency named Virus Bulletin (virusbtn.com).The truth? They don't expect anyone to actually look at the testing. They actually received average scores for wil virus protection but they had far too many false positives. The fact is they were far from the “best” of anything.

(see https://www.virusbtn.com/vb100/archive/test?recent=1)

Finally, the price. They want $50.00 per year. Here’s the truth: Home users do not need to purchase antivirus anymore (business users are a different story). There are free programs that offer highly rated virus protection such as AVG, Avast and Panda. Supplement those with some “second opinion” malware scanners such as Malwarebytes Anti-malware and Superantispyware and your computer and your wallet will be in pretty good shape.

THIS IS THE LAST TIME!

2014-10-16T15:37:00.001-05:00

I pondered some deep thoughts while driving to work this morning. A shock, right? The deep thought was spurred by someone mentioning “411” on the radio. I pondered that there was some point in the past 20 or so years where I dialed 411 for the very last time. Then I started thinking of other similar victims of technology that resulted in a “last time.” Had I known that the “thing” I was doing long ago was the last time I did that “thing,” perhaps I would have had a moment of silence, a celebratory swig of beer, or some other appropriate commemoration of the “last ever” event.

I asked my son (who last rode my shoulders and held my hand over 10 years ago) if he knew what 411 meant. He knew “411” was slang for “information” but had no idea that 411 was what you “dialed” on a phone to reach the “information” line when you didn’t have access to a phone book. Speaking of phone books, the last time I picked one up was last week when the new one was delivered. I only picked it up to toss it in the trash. I’m not even sure if I remember how to look someone up. Sad, huh?

My reader, Barbara Nichols, dropped by the office to have us work on her computer so I asked if she had any thoughts on the matter. The last time she had “film” developed was many years ago. She also insists that, technically, no one “dials” a number. We “punch” numbers. Ponder that a second: If you gave a rotary phone to your children or grandchildren, you’d have to show them how to “dial” it and they would no doubt giggle at the strangeness of it.

When’s the last time you picked up a map? Your children and grandchildren probably would not know how to navigate with one. That might be a cool exercise on your next road trip with them -- in between movies and texting, of course.

So as I pondered these things that are forever lost to me, I vowed to watch for future “last times” like: Depositing checks at the bank. More and more of us are simply taking a picture of the check on our smart phones and “depositing” it via smartphone. There will someday be a “last time I ever went to a bank.” Google is making great progress on driverless cars that are already far safer than we humans--mainly because computers don’t look down as they text and drive. So someday, there will be a last time to drive a car. The last time you pick up a pencil will probably happen before the last time you use a keyboard as we get used to speaking to our computers. And most sad of all, there will one day be a last time you read this article in a newspaper. Many of my friends are shocked I still read one but, by golly, I like it and will keep fetching it until the last time.

OMAGOSH!

2014-10-02T15:08:00.000-05:00

Omagosh, omagosh, omagosh! APPLE HAS RELEASED A NEW PHONE! Ooh! And they also released a NEW WATCH!

We endure this mania every year when Apple announces they are coming out with a new phone. Rumors abound. “Leaked” mock-ups appear on the internet that never look like the real product. People with no jobs start pitching tents in front of Apple stores weeks before the official release. After much hooplah, Apple proudly released technology that has been around for at least two years elsewhere - namely a “big” phone.

I get it. If I didn’t have a job, I’d have camped in a tent a couple of times back when this was cool new technology. Still, it amazes me that, 6 years later, we get so worked up over this stuff. And by “we” I mean, “me” and both my friends.

Anyone who grew up reading the Dick Tracy comics has been waiting for a smart watch for decades. A company called Pebble released the first smartwatch that looked like a colorful cheap cinderblock on my skinny wrist. No thanks. Then Samsung came out with a much cooler cinder brick for my skinny wrist. The world speculated for at least two years over what Apple’s miraculous watch would look like. We all expected a slam-dunk reaction similar to their introduction of the smartphone whereby the world says, “Oh! THAT’S what a smart watch is supposed to do!” Alas, Apple introduced another miraculous cinder block for my skinny wrist.

Calm down Apple people. I’m not hating on Apple for their awesome phone and watch. Quite the contrary. Their new phones are astoundingly powerful and the watch would probably be awesome if I had a wrist the size of Oprah.

Both my readers are, by now, wondering what my point is because I’m wondering the same thing. I think my point is that now that my cell phone contract is expired, I can go purchase a new phone right now but, for the first time in 8 years, I’m not peeing in my pants too so. The new offerings from all manufactures are only a smidgen better than what I have now. It’s just not worth the money to upgrade.

So I guess this is an “open letter” to the tech world in general to express my thankfulness that I live in a world where I can under-appreciate technological miracles that I only dreamed of as a young Dick Tracy/Star Trek fan. But I want those same folks to knock my socks off again. I want some some great new, revolutionary, world-changing tech toy, darnit. I want a contact lens that beams information straight to my retina. I want a brain implant where I can just “think” of a question and receive an answer instantly. I want to be so connected to the Hive Mind that my friends will think I’m a Borg. I want the Next Big Thing - including a flying car! Now! That’s not asking much, is it?

DESPAMIFICATION

2014-09-04T14:31:00.000-05:00

Spam is the bane of our collective existence in this digital world. We all get it. We all hate it. There are some things you can do to mitigate and even eliminate spam so let’s get started, shall we?

I have been able to retain my sanity (debatable, I know) using Google’s Gmail. Whether you use corporate email or a free email from Yahoo, AOL, or AT&T, you can configure Gmail to check and filter those accounts for you. Gmail has a world class spam filter that is nearly 100% effective. The details of how to configure Gmail are a bit tedious to describe here but it starts with creating a free Gmail account then following some basic instructions. Other free email services offer comparable features such as Microsoft’s Outlook.com, Yahoo, and Apple’s iCloud but Gmail is the best.

Some “spam” is not really spam. It is stuff you subscribed to one way or another. For example, when you buy something from Amazon, they will ask permission to send you stuff you may be interested in. You can opt out of that any time simply by looking for the “unsubscribe” link at the bottom of the email. You should be in the habit of regularly
unsubscribing from services you are no longer interested in. However, be careful about unsubscribing. Sometimes nefarious people will send you unsolicited spam and include a
“unsubscribe” link. If you click that, you just verified to the scammer that you are a real live person and eventually flood your inbox. As long as you are unsubscribing from legitimate companies like Amazon, eBay, AT&T and so on, you should be ok.

Going forward, one handy way of keeping your inbox clean is a tool that is included with a free program called Lastpass (LastPass.com). Lastpass is a wonderful browser utility that remembers your login details and passwords for websites but Lastpass also includes a “mask my email address” tool. When you visit a site that wants an email address, LastPass will prod you to “mask” your email address. If you choose to do so, LastPass will generate a garbled email address that is sent to the sender. LastPass will then act as a mediator between you and the sender. You will still receive the email from the sender but the sender never actually has your real address. LastPass makes it super easy to simply block the sender when you’ve had enough.

If you are using standalone email programs such as Outlook, LiveMail, Outlook Express or the Mail program on a Macintosh, your options for despamification are limited to costly software based services or hardware “appliances.” But if you use one of the “free” web-based services, they all have a “report spam” feature. Get in the habit of using that. Each time you use it, the filter gets to know you a little better and becomes more skilled at filtering junk.

DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER!

2014-08-21T10:28:00.000-05:00

I’m sorry to report that the world is coming to an end. You see, Facebook will soon require all users to download their new Messenger app. Yes, I know this is certainly worthy of the tremendous attention the press has given it but please calm down. It is not as earth shattering as it seems.

For those of you who haven’t kept up with the kerfuffle, there was a time when you had to launch Facebook to check your personal Facebook messages. Well, Facebook will soon require everyone to install an additional app to do this same thing. After you install the new app, you receive Facebook messages much like you receive text messages now. In addition to standard text messages, you can make free phone calls to Facebook members worldwide and send voice/video messages instead of text messages. Unlike Facebook, the Messenger app is always running. The problem seems to be that Facebook is requiring people to install the app when they were perfectly happy with the old way of doing things. This first time I ran into this sort of thing was over 30 years ago when many people didn’t want to start using a “mouse” to operate a computer when a keyboard was perfectly fine.

But the thing that is really burning some britches are the evil “permissions” you must grant when installing the app. Every time you install an application on your smartphone or tablet, you are required to “accept” permissions that the app needs to operate. For example, a camera app will require permission to use your on-board camera for obvious reasons.

Among the permissions that Facebook Messenger requires are the following: Your identity, access to your calendar, your location, access to your photos, camera and microphone. Other permissions include the ability to “make telephone calls on your behalf” and access to all your contacts. What many have read into this is, “Facebook wants to know who I am, what I’m doing, my exact location and will call all my friends, view my pictures and listen to every conversation any time they want! Therefore PANIC!”

This is, to put it delicately, overhyped hogwash from tinfoil-wearing nuts. The fact is that every app you install has similar permissions. In fact the Messenger permissions aren't any different from similar apps you’ve used for years.

I really need more column space to explain this fully but please understand that your privacy is still protected to a great extent. Facebook would get into a fantastic amount of legal trouble if they truly spied on people in this manner. However, we all need to keep in mind that nothing is truly free. The price we pay for the convenience of a digital world is a bit of privacy. Advertisers want to deliver ads that are catered to our interests or geography, for example. Besides all that, privacy hasn’t existed in decades now. We all have to either deal with that or move back into caves.

Facebook Doppelganger

2014-08-06T14:34:00.002-05:00

For those who need something else to worry about: I recently received a Facebook “friend request” from my brother. That is weird because I was already “friends” with my brother. Then, a couple of hours later, I received another request from another friend of mine that I was already friends with. A quick investigation revealed that my brother and friend fell victim to a Facebook impersonator. Spoiler: There is evidently not a dang thing anyone can do about it which is scary.

The potential danger here is that these fake profiles could be used to defame the individuals. I read a story of an ex-spouse who acquired some “revealing pictures” of their former spouse, made a profile under that spouses name, published the revealing pictures then “friended” the spouses friends and family. My brother, like his brother, would find great joy in the shock value of revealing pictures of him being posted somewhere. Some folks might not be so happy.

Other reasons for creating an impersonator profile may be to gather more information about you and your friends as part of identity theft. They may plan to target your friends with an “Emergency scam” by sending a message to your friends that says something like, “Help! I’m in Key West and was mugged and need money to get home!” It may be a part of of ruse to get friends to participate in a scam such as “I just lost 200 pounds using this new weight loss pill. Click here to buy it!”

Facebook can potentially track down the true identity of individuals and punish them with fines and imprisonment. Sadly, that’s a lot of trouble so if you fall victim to this, chances are you will simply put up with it.

If you know that you have been doppelganged, you have only one “easy” option. If you have access to the impostor's page, you can visit their profile and click on a link that allows you to “report” the duplicate profile. Unfortunately, the scammers often “block” the victim from seeing the imposter page therefore the victim cannot report it. Another option is to have a bunch of your friends visit the page and report it for other abuses such as “offensive material” even when the page isn’t really offensive in order to get the page taken down. I do not have hard evidence that this works but anecdotal reports suggests that it might.

Brad Pitt's Doppelganger
Not.

The last option is to hire an attorney. That is expensive but may be the only resort for some people. As with most things, prevention is the best medicine. My friends had their profiles and posts set to “public” which means anyone can see their entire profile. That allows a potential scammer to known all about you use that information to set up a fake profile. “Public” is the default setting for Facebook profiles so your profile is public unless you changed it to private. I suggest you change it to private. Now.

TRUST BUT VERIFY

2014-07-24T16:06:00.002-05:00

I almost want to apologize for what I am about to write--almost. It is a disturbing topic but recent news stories have awakened a muse that will not be satisfied until I write these words. I admit to the use of 20-20 hindsight. I’m not sorry for that; Hindsight can often result in foresight.

Story 1

Story 2

Two of the most heinous crimes against children in the history of the Shoals occurred at churches located in Sheffield and Muscle Shoals this year. What really gets my goose is the fact that these predators probably could have been stopped long ago if someone, anyone, would have simply bothered to pay attention. For example, the incidents in Sheffield could have been prevented had someone made a couple of phone calls or spent $25 on a background check at www.Intelius.com. The incidents in Muscle Shoals might have been prevented had the church installed technology to monitor internet use or otherwise employed common sense policies such as, oh I dunno, “no unsupervised sleepovers” perhaps?

Anyone who works with children at a church, synagogue, child care center, or family-friendly gym should be more than willing to be 100% transparent while performing their duties. They should ask, nay BEG, to be held accountable.

I was a volunteer youth soccer coach for over 15 years. One of the very first rules we agreed on is that we were to never allow ourselves to be left alone with someone else’s child. Never! This is for the protection of the child, of course, but it also protects the coach from false claims. This same rule applies to public school teachers and other similar organizations. It is a blindingly obvious rule but some organizations obviously haven’t adopted it. Why?

We now have technology that can enhance accountability. For example, a product called X3Watch is designed for people who need to be transparent or want to be held accountable. You install this software on each of your devices (smart phone, tablet, computers) and it reports your online activity to an “accountability team” that you designate. It can help protect the adult from litigation and the child from predation. Check it out at x3watch.com.

My company does business with a few organizations that deal with children. Our clients are smart and charged us with installing technology that enhances accountability. Among these

measures are internet “appliances” that filter obscene material, log internet activity, or otherwise restrict access to websites that are counterproductive.

Of course we parents don’t get off scott free here. We must demand better accountability. We must be more vigilant. We must ultimately trust certain people in our children’s lives but we still have to watch for the monsters. The bottom line here is that if you are in a business that deals with children, you better step up your game starting yesterday. Parents are going to demand it and you better listen.

THE NIGERIAN SCAM

2014-06-26T15:26:00.002-05:00

The following is a repeat from several years ago. It came to mind just recently when a client of mine asked me if an email they received about this exact same thing was really true. This scam is so old and widespread that it’s hard to imagine everyone hasn’t heard of it but I guess P.T. Barnum knew what he was talking about.

Q: I have been communicating with a person named Charles Soludo from Nigeria. He needs some help from me to get his money. How do I find out if it is real or not? I have come to a stage where he is requesting I send $2500 for "Transfer Fee" and his tone is very arrogant too. - Name Withheld

The good news is that “Charles Soludo” actually is a Nigerian economics professor and currently serves on the board of directors of the Central Bank of Nigeria. The bad news is that he doesn’t have time to talk to little ol’ you. Criminals use his name to add credibility to their scam. You are describing a classic “Nigerian Scam” or “advance-fee fraud.” According to the United States Secret Service, the con has pulled in more than $5 billion and is one of the largest industries in Nigeria.

The advance-fee fraud actually dates back to at least 1588. Back then, it was called the “Spanish Prisoner Letter.” In this scam, a “rich businessman” who was falsely imprisoned by the Spanish King promised the recipient large sums of money if the recipient would send him some bribe money to get out of jail. To sweeten the deal, the prisoner promised to hand over his beautiful daughter in marriage. After the initial money is paid, some “difficulties” arise that require a few more dollars. This goes on until the scam-ee is cleaned out and the game ends.

The Nigerian scam works similarly except the Spanish Prisoner has morphed into a member of the Nigerian royalty. Billions of emails are sent from Nigeria yearly and many people fall prey to the scammers. A few lucky victims are invited to Nigeria and get to meet “real” government officials. Upon their arrival, the victims are often kidnapped, extorted, held for ransom and sometimes murdered. Nigerian legal officials don’t have much sympathy for the victims. The victims, after all, intended to defraud the Nigerian government of tens of million of dollars.

So, these scams are serious business and are becoming ever more popular as more and more suckers -- I mean “new users” -- are introduced to email. The Nigerians evidently plan to spam everyone on earth in hopes of enticing a few people into participating. So, if you haven’t received a scam solicitation, you probably will.

Remember what your momma said about sounding too good to be true? I mean, seriously, do you really think a member of royalty would need help from anyone in North Alabama? It ain’t going to happen. Not now, not ever.

SNOOTINESS

2014-06-12T15:15:00.002-05:00

I don’t mean to be snooty (well, maybe a little) but some of you business owners need to turn in your cool card. When a “professional” hands me a business card with an email that says, “BusinessName@BELLSOUTH.NET” or ending in ATT.net or even the otherwise-cool GMAIL.com, you are immediately marked as a cheapskate and your street cred’ takes a hit.

I know, this seems silly and vain but its the truth. A “free” email address is almost the equivalent of having a cardboard sign for your business. A survey was done recently asking groups of industry representatives what they thought of various email addresses. Information Technology people (like Yours Truly) are especially perturbed when someone applies for a tech job using an AOL address, for example.

Whether you think it’s petty or not, the fact is that many people tend to look down on “professionals” who do not have a “domain based” email address such as “YourName@PhotographyBusiness.com.” Having a domain-based email address on your business card is one sure way of lending a bit of credibility to your business--and you get to hang with the cool kids.

If you are an individual, there is no urgent need to change an email address you’ve had for 15 years just so you can join the cool club. Just know that your email address really does send a message about you. Individuals should know that, to many of us, an AOL address screams, “Hi. I'm from 1996. What is this internet you speak of?" Hotmail addresses are almost as bad. Free Gmail addresses are still considered cool. That’s probably only because I have one.

So if you are job hunting (there are, unfortunately, lots of those here in the Shoals), you want that message to be something neutral such as JohnDoe@Gmail.com and let your resume do the talking. The same thing goes for applying for college. Thus, the email address you had as a teenager (Sk8r15@msn.com) just won’t cut it anymore. You may be hot and/or sexy but FoxyHot@bellsouth.net is not ever acceptable--even if you are running a massage parlor. For personal email addresses, you just can’t go wrong with some combination of your first and last name--unless you name happens to be Hugh Smelly.

So how do you get a “vanity” domain-based email address for your business? It’s super easy. There are plenty of websites you can visit to purchase a personalized, professional “domain” to host your email. They generally cost $10 to $30 dollars per month depending on features.

There are a plethora of websites that will host your domain based email. I recommend taking a look at Godaddy.com and Namecheap.com. If you need to know more, call me or send an email to SnarkyComputerJerk@Compuserve.com.

ASK NOT!

2014-05-29T11:07:00.003-05:00

I owe an apology to Comcast for “thought crimes” against them. For the past several months, I have suspected them of sending their clients into the lions den where scammers rip their client’s wallets into shreds. I think I was wrong. Yes, people are getting scammed--not by Comcast but by people pretending to be Comcast.

You see, over the past several months, I’ve had many clients tell me that they “called Comcast” to report some problem with internet access. They report that Comcast took remote control of their computer, installed some software and revealed that the computer had all sorts of horrible problems. Comcast wanted to charge them over $200 to fix the problems.

Both of my loyal readers might recall that this sounds eerily like the numerous scam companies that try to sell solutions to non-existent problems. The software may be called SpeedMyPC, PC Optimizer, Advanced SystemCare and MyCleanPC. Many of these snake oil programs are being touted on TV. All of these programs “find” (or invent) tons of problems with your computer and promise to fix the non-existent problems upwards of $200. These programs don’t fix squat.

I’ve been trying to find out who at Comcast has been sending customers to the scammers. Such a practice should be exposed to the world and Comcast should pay a hefty price. Alas, they are innocent. I think. I suspect that what’s really going on is something called the “Ask Toolbar.”

Ask.com is a search engine similar to Google. They started out about the same time as Google but quickly became a 3rd class citizen in the world of search engines. Ask.com had to take drastic measures to remain relevant. They now attract new customers by bundling their search toolbar with other programs--mainly something called “Java.”

Many of you have noticed the “Java” update on a Windows computer that bugs you for an update about once a month. Java is a bit of software that allows certain web-based programs to run on any computer. When you install the Java update, you are also offered a chance to install the Ask toolbar. You should uncheck that selection. If you don’t, Ask.com will become your default search engine and that will open you up to being a victim of a scam.

You see, reputable search engines such as Google and Bing generally filter-out companies with a bad reputations so if you search for “Comcast Support number” the first few listings will actually be the real support portal for Comcast. However, when you perform the same search at Ask.com, you will be directed to the scammy companies that have paid Ask to advertise them. These companies tout themselves as “official” Comcast support specialists. The “real” numbers for Comcast are way down the list. So I suspect that some of my less attentive clients are searching for “Comcast” at Ask.com, calling that “official” number and getting taken advantage of.

PANIC SOME MORE!

2014-05-02T10:00:00.002-05:00

A few days ago, the headlines were large! News anchors were breathless! The internet was abuzz! Our phone lines were slammed! No, Kim Kardashian didn’t post a new bikini selfie. This was even more-better!

The big news was that, as of April 8th, Windows XP is now officially retired. The bigger news is to STOP PANICKING! Seriously, you'd have thought the world was coming to an end if you could listen to my business phones. Folks were trampling my office staff trying to buy new computers because they thought theirs would stop working. If I were a smart businessman, I’d just shut up and take their money. But I don’t operate like that which is why I’m not a full time sailboat captain by now).

The spiel we have been repeating over and over these past couple of week goes like this: If you are happy with your antique computer now, keep on using it. Nothing will change for you. However, there are some things you need to begin to ponder: Microsoft will no longer issue security updates for Windows XP. Those updates sometimes patch vulnerabilities that hackers and virus authors use to exploit your computer. That really isn’t a big deal. You see, the biggest security risk on XP computers is Internet Explorer--the browser you use to access the web. Internet Explorer has always been crappy so the easy fix is to download either Firefox (from www.mozilla.org) or Google’s Chrome browser (www.google.com/chrome). Chrome is my personal choice because it’s much faster than anything else. They are both faster and more secure than Internet Explorer.

Using these browsers is much like watching your favorite TV show on a different brand of TV. The

knobs and stuff will be in slightly different locations but most folks can easily figure it out. We have had one or two clients who just can’t handle the slightest of changes. If you are one of those, please step away from your computer. The ever-changing world of computing is simply not for you.

The biggest problem XP users will soon begin to experience is hardware compatibility. Now that XP is retired, manufacturers of printers, cameras and other hardware devices will no longer supply the software necessary for their device to work with XP. They will only include support for Vista, 7 and 8. So if your old printer stops working and you have to purchase another, you won’t be able to find one that works with XP.

The bottom line: You need to start thinking about buying a new computer sometime soon. You will know that time has come when you need to do something with your computer but can’t because you are using XP. For some, that will happen very soon. For others, that won’t happen for a couple more years. So don’t worry, be happy!

EVERYBODY PANIC!

2014-04-17T12:50:00.001-05:00

The newsfeeds were crammed a few days ago about the latest thing to panic over. It concerns a vulnerability named Heartbleed that was found in a bit of software used on millions of popular websites called “OpenSSL.” The flaw can reveal passwords and other sensitive information to scammers. OpenSSL is used by some very big names such as Yahoo, Bing, and many banks.

OpenSSL is a bit of encryption software installed on a website that creates a secure “tunnel” between you and whatever website you are transacting with. This tunnel is separate from the rest of the internet traffic and is encrypted so that any information transmitted between your computer and the website is supposedly invisible to prying eyes.

OpenSSL has been in use since 1998 with hardly a hitch. The good news is that the “good guys” discovered the flaw in OpenSSL and named it Heartbleed. The bad news is that this vulnerability has existed since 2012. The good news is that it was fixed a few days ago on April 7th. The bad news is that no one knows if the bad guys knew about this flaw before the good guys discovered it. So, therefore PANIC!

So should you really panic? Of course! I personally think a good screaming fit good for the soul. But should you actually worry about it? Well, that’s a bit muddy. Yes, you should always worry about website security and you should change your passwords from time to time--despite the fact that almost none of us ever do. But this is mostly another case of overhyped news stories from news sources competing to panic the most people.

I would certainly urge caution as this is a widespread problem. In fact, it is probably as widespread as many other unreported problems. There is an easy solution to test whether or not a website is (or was) vulnerable. Simply visit www.lastpass.com/heartbleed, enter the name of your website, and it will tell you whether or not to change your password. It is important to keep in mind that that, if a particular website was vulnerable, you should NOT change your password unless they report that the problem was fixed. If you just willy-nilly change all your passwords and the problem hasn’t been fixed, you can expose your new passwords to scammers.

Speaking of things to panic about: We’ve gotten a rash of inquiries about the “expiration” of Windows XP a couple of weeks ago. Should you buy another computer? Should you be concerned about security? Are there other things you need to worry about? Answer: No, no and yes. I’ll address all those questions in my next installment. Until then, by all means have yourself a screaming fit.

I MISSED ANOTHER @%&* ANNIVERSARY!

2014-04-03T09:44:00.001-06:00

The WWW as first envisioned

Don’t you hate it when that happens? My wife certainly does. But she could not care less about this particular anniversary. You see, on March 12th, I missed the silver anniversary if the birth of the World Wide Web. This is not to be confused with the invention of the Internet by Al Gore. That is a wholly separate thing. (As a skeptical side note; Although we all love to bash Gore for claiming to invent the internet, he actually didn’t make that claim. He simply boasted that he championed legislation that ended up contributing to the commercial success of the Internet).

Although most of us use the terms interchangeably, there is actually a technical difference between “the Internet” and the World Wide Web. The Internet is the actual hardware infrastructure of the millions of interconnected networks. It’s a “network of networks.” Your home and office computers, your smart phone, your tablet, the defense department and your bank’s computers are all a contributing members of the Internet.

The World Wide Web is the software we use to extract information from the Internet. That software usually consists of a web browser such as Internet Explorer or Firefox. But we also use email programs, voice services such as Skype, some kinds of text messaging and “apps” to extract information from the Internet.

Another way to think about it is to say the Internet is composed of machines, gadgets, wires, and data. The World Wide Web is what brings this boring hardware to life.

Back in the early days of the Internet, it was really difficult to access information stored on other computers. From about 1958 to about 1993, you had to type text commands into a dumb text-based terminal. You had to know lots of programming commands and had to know exactly what you were looking for. In short, you had to be pretty smart to use it.

But all that started to change exactly 25 years ago when, on March 12th, 1989, a gentleman named Tim Berners-Lee wrote a paper that proposed a conceptual method of accessing data on the Internet using something called “hypertext.” Berners-Lee worked as a contractor for European Organization for Nuclear Research known as CERN. There was a vast amount of information regarding nuclear research at the time and Berner-Lee dreamed up a better way of accessing and disseminating that information.

Berners-Lee proposed “linking” the documents to each other so that your could “surf” (via something called “links”) from one related document to the next without typing the commands all over again. When documents were linked, information dissemination became much more efficient.

It took four more years for Berners-Lee to write the first program that utilized this new approach. He unleashed

the program on the Internet and just a couple of years later, the whole world became connected in ways that were unimaginable up to that point. That program eventually evolved into the web browsers we all use today. In 2004, the Queen of England “knighted” Mr. Berners-Lee so now he gets to go by “Sir.” So thank you, Sir Tim! I’m sorry I missed our anniversary!

THE MAGIC IS GONE FROM MY LIFE

2014-03-07T15:17:00.000-06:00

Our president expressing my sentiments towards MagicJack

Back in August of 2012, I wrote an article explaining how I didn’t really need a home phone anymore since everyone in the family had their own phone. The only calls I received were from people I didn’t want to hear from such as telemarketers and politicians. So I made the switch from AT&T (about $500 per year) to a device called Magicjack ($25 per year).

The quality of MagicJack was initially very good and I didn’t miss AT&T one bit. As time went on, however, MagicJack became less reliable. It would simply stop working in the middle of a conversation. I started receiving far more “spam” calls than ever before and various other issues. It was not big deal because I hardly ever used the home phone. But there was the issue of thing called “The Wife.” If you’ve ever had one of these, you probably know what I’m about to say; She insists on top quality everything regardless of the price. No, we hardly ever used the home phone but, by golly, when she used it, she wanted it to work. My mamma didn’t raise no fool so I researched alternatives to MagicJack. I finally settled on a device with astoundingly rave reviews called Ooma.

Ooma consists of a more robust bit of hardware that looks much like a router. In fact, Ooma actually is a specialized router that doubles as an answering machine. The Ooma device itself costs $150 but you can find a “refurbished” unit for about $129 (Shhh: I did not tell my wife it was refurbished). Once you acquire the hardware, the monthly costs for mandatory taxes and 911 fees are about $4.00 per month for unlimited nationwide calling.

Ooma as a typical “Voice over internet” phone that allows for cool things such as accessing voicemail over the internet, forwarding calls to your mobile phone, “spam” blocking and getting a text alert anytime someone dials 911 from your home phone.

Ooma will give you a free telephone number if you don’t have one but my goal was to keep my old phone number that I’ve had for a hundred years. That meant that I had to “port” (transfer) my number from MagicJack to Ooma. I started this process in mid-December. It should have taken a day or two but actually took nearly 3 months! Just a few days ago, MagicJack insulted me by asking for $50 before they would release my number to Ooma. I researched this fee and it is probably illegal. The advice I found on the internet suggested I ignore the extortion attempt and the transfer would take place anyway. So I ignored it and was pleased to finally complete the porting process. So kiss it, MagicJack!

For good measure, I filed a complaint with the FCC and the Alabama attorney general so hopefully I can leave MagicJack with a black eye. I’ll let you know how that goes. In the meantime, I have a much more functional home phone and a wife that loves me again.

Do you have a gripe about your phone service? Tell someone! http://www.fcc.gov/guides/portability-keeping-your-phone-number-when-changing-service-providers

I HAVE A NASTY INFECTION!

2014-02-06T16:15:00.002-06:00

A screenshot of my nasty infection

Over the past several months, I’ve been getting more and more strange emails from various senders. The subject line may read, “Evition (sic) notice No8064” or "Bank of America Alert” or "Court notification” or “Shipping Notification” from some random legitimate busines that I may or may not have ordered from. Each of these message carry an attachment that just begs to be opened.

I’m not being “evited” from my building nor do I have an account at Bank of America nor do I have any upcoming court appearances--that I know of. These are all examples of a combination of a phishing scam and plain old email attachments that contain a virus. A “phish” attack is an email that looks like it is from a legitimate business--usually a bank. Phishes often “warn” you about some sort of account breach and ask you to click on a link to “verify” your username and password so they can “help” you. It is clearly a scam and once they have your username password they will take advantage of you in various ways.

Plain old infected emails have been around for a very long time and contain an attachment that harbors a trojan virus. A trojan looks innocent enough but when you click on it, it installs some sort of nastiness that will infect your computer.

I was curious of what particular virus these messages were trying to infect me with. So I unboxed a brand new computer, accessed some of these suspicious emails, and clicked on the attachments. Nothing seemed to happen. We then scanned the system for viruses and, sure ‘nuff, I had contracted a fake antivirus program.

For those of you who use standard email programs such as Outlook or web-based email from Comcast or AT&T, these emails come straight to you and you get to decide what to do with them. My advice would be to simply ignore them. They can’t harm your computer unless you actually click on the attachment. But, bless your hearts, many of you just can’t seem to resist and click stuff just to see what happens. That is very good for business so thank you. Really.
But if you would rather avoid people like me, there is a solution. I have configured my free Gmail account to check all my other email accounts so that all my mail comes into one Gmail account. It’s pretty handy since it scrubs all my mail of spam and synchronizes my mail across all my devices--tablet, smart phone, home and office computers. The relevant point here is that it also blocks any message that contain a virus. I wrote about how to do this before so check out my blog if you want to know more. When properly configured, the only thing you will see is a message that reads, “The message “(description of the infected message and who it came from) contained a virus or a suspicious attachment. It was therefore not fetched from your account.”

THE INTERNET OF THINGS

2014-01-22T09:37:00.002-06:00

Have you ever heard of a man named Tony Fadell? Yeah, me neither. Well, I’m happy to report that

Tony is doing just fine. In fact, he is doing finer than anyone else I know at the moment. You see, Tony left Apple where he was VP of design over the iPod division. In fact, he was one of the “fathers” of the iPod. This silly man quit his job at Apple to design, get this. home thermostats. THERMOSTATS! What a maroon, huh?

Well, someone at Google didn’t think Tony was a moron. In fact, they thought he was pretty darn smart. So smart that they purchased Tony’s company, Nest, for three point two BILLION dang dollars in cash! That’s a “B” with a “golly!” in it.

Turns out that Google has been looking into a burgeoning industry that has been expected to explode just any day now. This industry is called the “Internet of Things.” No, it’s not a bunch of little monsters crawling around the internet scaring humans--not yet, anyway. No, the Internet of Things is a world where virtually everything communicates with everything else in some way. Your refrigerator will send you a text when it needs more milk. Your washing machine will speak to your dryer which will speak to your water heater which will speak to your solar array. Your car will talk to your phone and, of course, you’ll have a close relationship with your thermostat.

Tony’s thermostat is connected to your wireless router in your home that is, of course, connected to

the internet. Here is where it gets just a bit creepy if your wardrobe includes tinfoil hats: Google computers will check both the weather forecast and the family calendars and will know when you are going to be home. Since your phone has GPS and is connected to Google, Google knows when you leave the office so can turn the heat up just in time for you to walk in to a warm house.

The "Internet of things" will enable you to not only control appliances through a computer or smart phone (person to appliance) and to automate them (computer to appliance), but also to enable appliances to connect to one another (appliance to appliance). For example, when you turn off your alarm clock in the morning, your alarm clock could tell the light to go on and the coffee machine to start brewing. When the lights go off at night, they might tell the door locks to lock. This kind of automation is currently possible but controlled from a central computer. This stuff is usually installed by a professional. It's complicated and expensive. The "Internet of things" revolution should make these things simple, easy and inexpensive. And perhaps just a bit creepy.

THE SIGNS IN THE STARS ARE CLEAR

2014-01-09T15:05:00.001-06:00

This is my first ever “predictions” article. I plan to revisit this article one year from now. Like any good psychic, my predictions will mostly be wrong but I will get one or two right by pure accident and toot my own horn profusely. Unlike a psychic, I won’t get rich for being wrong.

This will finally be the breakout year for wearable computing devices such as watches, headsets and bracelets. Like it or not, Google Glass will finally hit the store shelves. You’ve surely heard of Glass; It’s “eyewear” that sports some computing power, a camera and a small screen that essentially beams information straight into your eyeball. Glass will have lukewarm success this year but this kind of technology will soon become ubiquitous. Cool thing: You’ll be able to download an app that will replace a car’s dashboard (or my future airplane’s instrument panel!) by beaming a virtual dashboard straight to your retina. We will all have to get used to talking to a friend wondering if we are being recorded.

Back on 2006, Apple released a phone that made the rest of the world say, “Oh. THATS how you make a smart phone.” Apple will accomplish the same thing this year when they release a smart watch that people will actually want to wear (It will not be called “iWatch” as even Apple is getting tired of “i” everything). I’ve been dying for one for a while now but I’m not gonna wear on my wrist a cinderblock that has to be charged every day. The device will also make all your credit cards obsolete. Most chicks will not be impressed.

Microsoft stock is currently trading at about $36 per share. It will be less than $30 per share by the end of the year. By that time, they will finally admit defeat and release an update to Windows 8 that will look more like Windows 7. Apple ($543) and Google ($1,133) stocks will increase by at least 25%. Bitcoin is worth about $1000 now (it was worth $200 when I last wrote about it). It will be worthless by the end of the year at which time I will finally stop kicking myself for not buying some.

Apple, Microsoft, Google, Sony and others have been battling for control of your living room for a decade. They will not succeed this year or next. Instead, new technology will slowly evolve so that when it finally does happen, you won’t even notice that your TV is now your computer - or vice versa.

More and more people will spend more and more money on fitness devices like Fitbit and Fuelband yet will still sit on the sofa wondering why they are getting fat.

Sometime in 2014, you’ll be able to use your sub-$1,000 Hewlett Packard 3D printer to print your own Legos and the tupperware containers in which to store them.
Happy New YEar, everyone!
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