The Mom Bomb

The Leather Bound Book Called Life

2013-05-17T19:14:00.001-07:00

As children, we dreamed of the whole fairy tale romance at least once in our lives. Picture perfect dream, yeah that's the one. Shame we loose those dreams as we get older. I always try to encourage my kids imagination to run free and wild, because it will fade into the shadows of tea parties and super heroes. I was what you would consider a traditional romantic. I believed marriage was a one time thing and once I was someones "Mrs." happiness would be unlimited. The whole pretty picture...the house with the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a lovely dog named Skip. I know, you're probably thinking is this woman for real? Well I was young when I married, just turned 23 and had a 5 month old babe to care for. I didn't know I was wearing the rose colored glasses. I believed in everything that person said to me and thought nothing could hurt me as long as I was loved by him. Well, let's just say 14 years later and I am a whole lot wiser. LOL. As parents, we don't want our kids to repeat the same mistakes we did as youth. I guess I owe my mom an apology for giving her so much grief as a child. Children today are mesmerized by the telly, the social networks, & the internet and how glamorous life looks. They want to grow up so quickly to experience what "real life" is that they forget how old they really are... My daughter is at that age where boys are no longer these gross, germy creatures but potential heart throbs....SUPER SCARED! I try to explain to her to not grow up so quickly and to enjoy still having the freedom to dream. Yes, I do have a son as well but luckily he is still into WWE and being a boy. :) She wants so much to be my lil clone. As a mom, I worry alot! She only has 8 more years till she is considered an adult and time is like a ticking time bomb in my favor. I wish there was a pause button or even a rewind button to correct the mistakes in the past... but we are not that lucky... Life will go on and I have to do whatever I can to be a part of her life. Enjoy the splenders of joy and the tears of heartbreak. I know that things with her father and I have been the rollercoaster of the decade and maybe she is just trying to find her own piece of happiness. I just hope I get to keep her my lil young lady for just a bit longer. After all, she and her little brother have to be there to give me away.... Yes I will be going for that dream again only this time I have the right guy. The love of my life. Till next time, Moms...just breath!

Life is like a spin cycle in the washer machine

2013-05-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

We are born and we die, but what happens inbetween our entrance and our exit is what I call the spin cycle. Our struggle to come into this world and take that first breath doesn't mean much to us at that point in time. We are accepted into our own lil program of life. Our traditions and upbringing isn't who we really are but what is given to us. The cycle that we, each of us, live everyday is who we are. Some of us have important roles that grow into a career in life, some of us are repopulating the world with hopeful species to take us into the brighter future, some of us are paired up with a soulmate and have what everyone of us hopes and dreams about (those are the lucky ones), then there are those of us who are still trying to find their meaning in life. Like clothes that are worn and soiled , they must be put into the washer to wash away the mistakes and life lessons so that they can be reused and enjoyed. I once was one of those types of people. So careless and free spirited. I enjoyed the after taste of whiskey and beer and loved the drug induced coma and spontaneous sex play. Everyone has to go their own paths... but we all end up in the same place, the spin cycle. Our bodies squeezed dry and wrinkled and fresh.... Sometimes we have just alittle bit more life but the more and more we are washed and ran through the cycle of life we grow into elders and begin the path of our own exits. All of us choose how we are going to leave and no one else can make the choice but remember that just like your favorite shirt, sweater, or even a pair of grungy sweat pants we are all cherished and love and we were worn and enjoyed....

Happy journey to those who seek out the meaning of life but I think I will wear these old pants for a couple more loads of wash. We are all but the masses of decay waiting for our train to arrive and take us to that next plane of reality. I just hope what train you get on will be the better afterlife that this nine circles of hell you are waiting in.....

The Rosy Colored Glasses Have Come Off

2013-05-16T09:58:00.001-07:00

Okay, its been alittle bit of time apart from the last post. So to catch you up on whats been going on....my kids father once again has left the building only this time the door has been welded up shut. As women, we understand the dedication and commitment just like our male companions. But for anyone who has had their life turned upside down because their partner is selfish and doesn't take what their actions will do to you or the children in the relationship should be smacked. Point and simple. I am generally a very trusting creature, and my trust with a particular person has been shattered. Do not say it is my fault, do not blame your actions onto others.... we chose a life together. The thing that sucks the most is the children get caught inbetween the crossfire of the parents. They are innocent, reassure them that both parties love them and that it will not change. And for pete sake's remember that the kids are half of both. So if you bad mouth the other parent, the kids will see it as they are half bad. Please DO NOT Do that! As adults, we have to maintain the security of the household for the young. That is our job. Yes, I was mad! Yes, I felt betrayed! I am not going to lie that I felt abandoned and belittled, but I have my kids and life will go on. The event of my world crumbling was end of Feb 2013, since then I have stayed strong and taking care of my family. That is all we can do. Be the adult and survive through all the ugliness because we are the parents. Since then, my life has had a new beginning and a new love. There is hope for all who have suffered through this same fate. Take control of your own lives and do not look back. I wish everyone out there a blessed day and I look forward to you visiting my blog again soon. :)

Dreams can be the life preparer

2012-11-17T13:01:00.000-08:00

This past week, I lost a family member to a bad accident. I guess his death weighted heavy on my mind because I have had strange dreams of my own death. As a parent, we try so hard to prepare our children for the "real world" that we forget to be prepared ourselves. My lost one didn't have any insurance for the "just in case" emergency. The family had to struggle to make sure that the preparations for the funeral were made. In my dreams I had that same factor. I died and had my body cremated. My spouse had my ashes, so when I showed up as a ghost he was quite shocked. The ashes were like a way for me to stay behind and take care of unfinished business. Once the ashes are scattered, it would be my time to go on to the other side. Except, I told my spouse to not let go. I was scared of their future without me. I felt I needed to stay behind. The only reason cremation was possible was because my grandmother set up a insurance policy when I was born. It was enough to take care of the funeral expensives. My spirit remained because whether I am in body or just a soul, I am still a mother. I worried that there was no money to help my loved ones in the coming years. I saw the strain it put on my spouse and kids. My heart was breaking, even though it was no longer beating. I just wanted to scream that my life had ended and I no longer had control over the well being of my family. When I woke this morning I had tears in my eyes before I even opened them. It was just a dream, but felt so real. I am in my 30s and so is my spouse. We have no extra savings. We live paycheck by paycheck and we want only the best for our kids. I have spent so much energy trying to teach my kids to want more in life as they grow into young people. To succeed and have the comforts of life. If something happen today I don't know what either one of us would do. There is nothing there. No securities, finacial stabilities, or help. Thankfully, it has started my spouse and I thinking of the future and the ways to be better prepared for the "just in case" something bad happens and one of us is taking from this life. A parent's job is to teach their kids about life and kids are suppose to be the reason a parent prepares for death. This should be on all parents' to do list. Get the life insurance policy, make the arrangements, and have that peace that if your time has come that you don't have any unfinshed business...

Death may come, but on Angel feathers shall fly

2012-11-15T14:16:00.000-08:00

Death is a part of life. There are times that it seems to be a villain, but what people don't realize is it part of the cycle. We are all born, we grow, have kids, grow old, and we rejoin mother earth. Death is sorrow and sadness, but it is something to also rejoice in. It takes away the pain from the suffering and is reborn into new life. A constant circle. We don't disappear just because our human life ends, we are reborn into the grand plan that is designed for us. Last Saturday, my uncle passed away. It wasn't how I thought he would leave this reality. I always saw him old and gray barking at the youngins....lol...but it was his time in the mother's plan. He loved every part of his life and in the end was ready. I use to fear death...as a child I would have nightmares and wake up screaming. I could hear the crunching sound of the soil being shoveled onto me. The smell of the dirt literally would wake me from my slumber. And I could never share these dreams with anyone. Now that I am a parent I help my kids embrace the facts of life and not fear them. You make what you will of this life, it is your choice. Do good and be rewarded. Do evil and be punished. Its that simple, there should be no sugar coating when it comes to facing death. Rejoice, for one day you will be reunited. And that's what I do....rejoice.

Remember Me?

2012-11-14T15:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it seems to have been too long since I posted anything. Call it "writer's block" but my mind had been put on pause for a little bit... So much has happen and I am sure that moms out there can relate to it. You wake up one day, look in the mirror and you don't even recognise yourself. Life gave me alot to look at and correct in my little world of happiness. I lost a friendship due to infidelity with my partner, but most of all I had to be the wall for my kids during the time apart from their father. Time definitely heals all wounds. This all accrued back in June 11' and I have cried, screams, cried some more, and started to heal. So, you may feel I may have even cracked that barrier of sanity and crazy town... Well in all honesty, yeah I hit rock bottom and I hit it HARD! But in life you can dwell on all the negative things and wither up and die or you can acknowledge it and grow from it. I am so thankful for my kids, they were the motivation to get up everyday and go through the day. Trust me, I just wanted to die. I wanted to drown in the hurt and sorrow of my broken heart. It is really hard when you loose your partner, spouse, boy/girlfriend to someone else, especially when that person was suppose to be your bestie. I'm sure you are wondering if I happen to beat the crap out of that person.... No. I did the opposite. I forgave and I actually thanked her. She gave me another one of life's challenges and I survived it. From time to time she calls or texts me, I know she misses me but that is her loss. I won't be her friend again not because of her going after my husband but the breaking my heart part. You need to forgive, but no one said to forget, lol OK :) I mean we are not born complete idiots. Okay, as I said I am catching up on what you have missed in the two years. So as of now I am currently involved, and surprisingly its my ex...We have been together for so long now going on 13 years that honestly he is the only man I can stand to be with for long periods of time....lol...the kids are doing better and as "MommY" well I have set down some house rules to not repeat this last disaster and we both have learned from all of this to not neglect the important people and things in this life. I feel we appreciate our lives together as a family and as a couple more now than we ever have. We actually moved into a new place back in July and come Valentines Day 2013 we will be celebrating our first anniversary back together....

Well I guess that gets you caught up and I promise to have more posts in the future...

Good Tip: Wake up every morning and don't look at yourself in the mirror first but kiss the person next to you in bed, and smile!

emptiness

2011-01-20T19:37:00.001-08:00

I really don't have much to say at the moment but just wanted to acknowledge the world and my readers. Everything is okay just alittle empty...I'll have a better post for tomorrow:)

I am a lover not a fighter

2011-01-18T09:40:00.000-08:00

Now this blog post I must give dedication to my bff~Moo. She is a strong, big-hearted, loving friend and mother. But don't let the warm female heart decieve you, she is also a fighter. She would be my nomination for Mom of The Year (if we ever had something like that) due to her struggle to be the best mom she can be. She is a single mom with three beautiful boys, plus she is a FT student. She is my partner in crime and my fellow cake bud. We hope and dream to open our own business, a bakery that will be kid friendly and a mom's fav. (but thats another blog) Moms like my friend Moo can relate to the simple trials and tribulations of motherhood. She is raising her boys by herself, FOB is MIA. She has so much strength and passion for her family. I look up to her and remember that I am lucky to have my hubby there to help me. I know I could do it without him, but I choose to do it with him. Moo was alot of help during my "alone" period. I love her for the support she gave me. Including the shoulder to cry on, snot on, and cry on some more...lol Yes! It is hard to be a single parent, and yea I've been there for a time frame myself. When you are a single parent you have to be both the good cop and bad cop. Single parents have to be stronger due to the fact of not having the other parent in the picture. You have to dedicate all of yourself to your kids and maybe just maybe you might have 5 mins to take a shower without a child around, or read the funnies in the newspaper, or even be able to have a cup of coffee with the girls. I don't forget that some of our single parents out there are dads, we feel your fustration and pain. Props to all the single father out there taking care of their business. You have to fight for whats going to be the best for your kids. Relationships for single parents is hard as well. You cant give that person the full commitement that a single person with no kids can give someone. Because you already have a commitement to someone......Your Kids! I'm sorry to say that people who don't have kids can't relate to what you are going through, nor can they understand. There really is only a few people out in the world who are willing to accept your life and your kids. They want the whole package, not just certain nights with the mom for alittle "doctor love" special treatment. Those kinds are rare and should be treasured. The rest of the people out there its half n half. So if you are seeking love that is good, you should have love in your life....just don't put that person before the little people in your life. Cause they will love you no matter what you look like, how much money you have, or if you are good in bed. They will love you no matter what because you are : MOM.

Sibling Rivalry

2011-01-17T09:16:00.000-08:00

The definition of sibling: are people who share at least one parent. The definition of rivalry: condition of competitiveness: the condition or fact of competing with somebody or something.

With these two words put together you have sibling rivalry: a type of competition or animosity among brothers and sisters, blood-related or not.

Okay enough of the lesson. I guess I have endure this war related phrase enough in my life with my little sister. Now that I have kids myself, well WW1 & WW2 have nothing on my kids and their constant battle of the wits, sex, and age. My daughter is the oldest (soon to be 8) and my son is literally the baby of the group (soon to be 6). They have half brothers inbetween them who are closer to my daughters age than my sons. But just my two can stir up craziville. You have to remember we use to do this to our parental units. So we should know every battle plan up front, but we don't we get sucked back up into it all. We find ourselves screaming eventually, pulling our hair out and grabbing the closest bottle of Advil we can get our hands on... "He won't leave me alone! Shes touching my ironman! He...blah blah blah She...wah...wah...wah...it goes on and on. Then all of a sudden its quiet, I almost poke my head in the play room just to make sure they haven't killed each other... and there they are playing like good little boys and girls. In America, we generally give the continuous greeting: Welcome to Motherhood! A good tip to remember especially when you have more than one and they are one of each sex: A balance life is a happy life. I do not show favorite to either of my babies, because they both are my fav. Since they are two years apart it is easier to give them both the same rules and chore list. Both are responsible of cleaning their beds and rooms up. Putting their own clothes away, helping with clearing the table after dinner, and working together as a team. We have been doing the piggy bank system as well. It seems to be working, so maybe peace and harmony is not too far from being a part of my life....To other moms out there with more than one child I feel your pain. Just remember to WHOO-SAH (relax)

when i grow up i wanna be ....

2011-01-15T19:44:00.000-08:00

As a mom, I look back and think about what I wanted to be when I grew up... a nurse, a vet, a poet... I think I finally agreed on the perfect job: a housewife and mom. Yeah, that sounds so old fashion but I really didn't have any ambition to become anything more. Now, you can't possibly be a stay home mom/wife unless you marry into some money. Today's society is the middle class. So its hard working two jobs, plus having time for your kids and spouse. For my kids I will definetly teach them the hard lesson of not dreaming ahead will lead you down my path. I hope my kids have the ambition to prosper into great careers that will lead them down the road of family and marriage. I hate missing out on the fun and important things my kids do right now because I am at work. My youngest always tells me,"Mommy don't go to work stay home and hang out with me, I don't need any toys!" Breaks my heart anytime either one of my kids pleads for me not to go to work, but bills have to be paid. Always let your kids dream and dream big....it may take away some of the pain in the future.

When you're not here

2011-01-14T20:02:00.000-08:00

I was facebooking earlier tonight. I have notice alot of people with the same picture for their profile pics. I didn't recognize the guy. After asking around on FB I found out the guy's name was Brandon Garner. He went to the same high school as I did. He died yesterday from a brain tumor. I don't know or even remember if I knew this person back in school or not. Unfortunately, I can't say that we were friends. But I feel the sorrow from my friends who could say that this man was a dear and beloved friend to them and others. My prayers and love go out to them all. I know what loss feels like. I recently lost my great-uncle, he passed away after a long battle with Parkinson Disease. It was his time to go and be at peace. Death is only the beginning....never the end.

Date Night is Very Important

2011-01-13T14:36:00.000-08:00

All moms can agree that "Date Night" is an important ritual. I love being a mom and having my kids but I know that I need at least a couple hours to myself to enjoy being me. As an individual, you share your life with family, friends, hobbies, and work. So as a parent, it shouldn't change just because you have a responsibilities to your offspring. Thats what is so great about the american babysitter. If you choose to get a babysitter it is always important to get someone that you know or that has been referred to you by a friend. I generally don't have to worry so much about hiring a babysitter for date night, because I have my parents. They give me and my husband a night to ourselves. This is so important for married couples or parents who are together. It helps keep the family relationship strong when you are able to give each other your full attention. I don't ever want to be in a situation where I have to choose which is more important....kids or partner. So tonights our date night and we are planning to go to Rhythm Brews in downtown Greer for music trivia....Hope you all have a great night!

Cookies...Must Sell Cookies

2011-01-12T19:45:00.000-08:00

I remember when I was a little girl and my mom had me in Girl Scouts. I loved it, we got to go camping, do arts n crafts, and meetings every week. I now have the chance to do the same things with my daughter. Of course, the activities are alittle bit different but we still sell Girl Scout Cookies. Some have changed but the ones from our childhood are still around. I feel things like Girl Scouts are important to child development. My daughter appreciates being able to spend time with other girls her age especially since she has a brother and not a sister. Cookie season is here so if you are in the upstate sc area definetly hit me up. Cookies are $3.50 a box but the proceeds go to the Girl Scouts and the troop you buy from. If you are in another state or area make sure to look up your local Girl Scout troop and support our daughters. I hope my daughters children will have the same opportunities as I did. I love GS Cookies!

To be clutter or clutter-free that is the question

2011-01-12T13:47:00.000-08:00

It is so hard to keep a clutter-free household especially when you live with a large family. Yes, I am one of the many who still live at home with my parental units. But thats another blog. I started to get upset at the fact that my two kids rooms were in complete ruin. I wanted to turn into that big ugly monster and go crazy, but I can't be mad at them when I myself am not setting a positive example. So instead of becoming the crazy mom, I calmly went in and helped direct them to properly clean up their rooms. I feel it works better when you are in the room, helping them rather than yelling at them and leaving it up to them to clean. Somewhere I read that you have to work together as a family unit to make it a happy home. Our children clean up their messes when they are in school. I am sure the teacher doesn't let them tear up the room and leave it...What special powers does a teacher have that I don't have? *They are not "Mom" and thats that.* I know alot of you moms out there are nodding your heads in agreement. Our children want our attention. I am not perfect mom and I don't claim to be. But I do believe in making chores like a game...No I am not Mary Poppins....Just like adults, kids can get overwhelmed with clutter and mess. So turn up the radio and make cleaning fun!