The Drivel

Re-Domination with a forceful vendictive furious attitude of fury!

2012-11-08T22:07:00.002-08:00

First off, to the 3 people that might read this, just know this is an introduction back into re-domination and after this quick timeline recap I promise to write less boring nonsense about my life. This post is more for time capsule purposes for me since most of my life has been swept under the rug the last couple years. I feel like I went from a wounded baby fawn stumbling aimlessly through the darkest forest on the planet, and exited the woods as fire breathing great white shark with two machine guns firing out of my shark nostrils at the same time. No biggie.

The last time I updated anything on the Drivel I was living in a studio apartment in Los Angeles. A small hipster suburb called Los Feliz. At any given moment I was surrounded by ironic mustaches, skinny jeans, extra baggy beanie caps with excess yarn (smurf hats), really important people at coffee shops with pencils in their mouth staring intensely at their mac lap top like they are working in something super important, untrimmed facial hair and aspiring musician/writer types. It was actually a cool neighborhood and I would live their again, I mean I met the guy that created the Disney afternoon at a open house a mile from my place. I owe that guy my life!Ultimately I would have to say L.A is where I would prefer to live but currently I am embracing the the O.C.

Over the last year and a half I've had some interesting new developments. I established a good job, quit said job to attempt starting a business with a friend, met some interesting people that I envision remaining friends with for as long as life determines, adopted a new favorite basketball team (Clip show/Kings will always be numero uno), pounded some sand with my bare hoofs, saw the S.F. Giants win 2 out of 3 of the last World Series, made a few bucks, spent a few bucks, bought my dream car, bought my dream beach cruiser, had a few relationships, lost a few relationships, dropped a few pre-mature "L" bombs, received a few pre-mature "L" bombs, witnessed a few good friends tie the knot, walked my aunt down the aisle, gave first wedding speech at her wedding, won some, lost some but overall...Crushed it.

I am currently residing in the O.C. If you're at all familiar with Sacramento I live in the Roseville of the O.C.. Imagine if Roseville pumped itself with even more steroids and douche baggery and you have Newport. I can't complain however. I've never been in an area with such a concentrated amount of the opposite gender as easy on the eyes as I've seen here. Between beach babes, the beach and 4th of July I'm pretty committed. I will say I miss the shit out of my friends and family in Sacramento. If I could transport everything important to me in Sacramento to Newport Beach my life would be perfect. Homesick is a bit of an understatement. I am used to being constantly surrounded by a good group of friends and family. I am pretty much a wolf pack of one these days. My mission to get at least one good Sac town homie to make the move here will be endless. I feel like Maverick when Goose died, just no more wing man. Mayday mayday! Mavs lost control in the jet wash, going into a flat spin out to sea!Eject!Eject! Wait what?

I am still working in the real estate industry, at least until the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Angels of Orange County fax that 10 day contract over to me. There are positive and negatives about my current career. Positive it pays o.k. the negative I think I am losing years off my life from the stress. I am one that fancies a good hair brained scheme. I habitually am concocting some sort of Zack Morris type plot to make some quick or slow bucks. I'll just say if an opportunity to get out of the business came knocking, I just might invite Mr. opportunity in for a cup of Joe to discuss the details.

That's about all I got for now. I know I'm leaving a lot out but re-domination has been established. Stay tuned for more excellence to come from the Driv.

Pipes OUT! (mic hits the floor).

The Daily Drivel: Communist are afoot and they are disguised in all ...

2011-06-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

The Daily Drivel: Communist are afoot and they are disguised in all ...: "I don't usually follow basketball to much since my team can't even figure out what city it's going to be in within the next 3-4 years. I gre..."

Year of the pitcher huh? is anyone checking pitchers for steroids or just hitters?

2011-05-26T16:23:00.000-07:00

It just occurred to me the other day that major league pitchers are throwing some serious heat these days. They got guys approaching 106 MPH fast balls Aroldis Chapman. Every team these days has a closer that hits 100MPH's it seems like including the beard himself ole B. Wilson of the S.F. Gigantes. Seriously what's going on? I mean we all know about Roger Clemens being indicted by the Supreme Court and all the shenanigans he's pulled but i can't think of any others. it appears the steroid era is over at least for hitters that is. There are still guys that rake but I'm doubting anyone is going to sniff Barry Bonds record of 73 big flys in a season.

1990 and 91 saw the most most no hitters in a 2 year span with 14 (7 both years), but that's mainly due to lack of steroids being used in that era minus Bo Jackson, Rob Deere and Ron Gant who were obviously snorting lines of juice off each others biceps. Hitter's now have adapted to high velocity pitchers and are more skilled athletes so throwing a no no is no easy task. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that throwing a 100+MPH fastball is equally as impressive however. Have you ever been in a batting cage and faced 90MPH's? The ball gets on you in a ridiculous way. 90MPH's is bp in the bigs though unless you have Mariano movement and location but if you add 10 more muffs to that it's almost unhittable. Right? At least it's gotta be pretty damn hard. What are these guys doing today that they weren't doing 10,15,20 years ago? Nolan used to hit 100+ like it was his job but he was a freak. A hay bail chuckin, bronco bustin, rootin tootin freak of nature. Even Nolan's fastest recorded pitch was only 100.9 MPH's. look at this chart that is outdated now but breaks down the fastest recorded pitches through 2005.

I don't know what's going on here but Bud Selig may or may not need to shift his attention to the juice babies standing on the mound.

Inject...HERE ^

I'm going going, back back to O.C. O.C.! 4 moves in one year! Is that a record?

2011-05-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go...Yep you know the song. Oh man this should be interesting. So it appears Pipestradamus is taking his show on the road again for the 4th time since last July 4th when I first established presence in So Cal. it's been an uphill grind getting stationed in one spot so far. I moved from Sacramento to O.C. last July 4th, then to L.A. in October, and then I downsized apartments a block away 2 months ago and now a job transfer and a terrible commute that I would make you wish the Apocalypse did happen have caused another move! Can a brotha get situated or what! This has to be a joke right? Like is Ashton Kutscher going to pop out soon and tell me Ive been punk'd? Come on!

So I am moving in with 2 gals who both seem pretty cool. Apparently I am replacing their father figure behaving current roommate that lectures them about staying out late and murders mice for sport. I'm pretty confident I should fit in a bit better. So June 1st is the big day. I'm really not looking forward to packing and moving again this year. I may have just puked a bit thinking about it. The good news are things are starting to look up. My job is picking up and life is getting interesting again. Living in an apartment by myself was pretty much making me go mental. There may or may not have been Leprechauns and unicorns prancing around my apartment at one point, the jury is still out on that one.

So if anyone needs me Laguna Hills stalking the female cast of Laguna Beach. Psyche!

On the road again -Willie Nelson

Just can't wait to get on the road again.
The life I love is making music with my friends

And I can't wait to get on the road again.
On the road again

Goin' places that I've never been.
Seein' things that I may never see again

And I can't wait to get on the road again.

On the road again -

Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway
We're the best of friends.
Insisting that the world keep turning our way
And our way
is on the road again.

Just can't wait to get on the road again.

The life I love is makin' music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again.
On the road again
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway
We're the best of friends
Insisting that the world keep turning our way
And our way

is on the road again.

Just can't wait to get on the road again.
The life I love is makin' music with my friends

And I can't wait to get on the road again.

And I can't wait to get on the road again.

It's all about Monday funday

2011-05-09T22:58:00.000-07:00

No cable...No problem...Seen every movie on the shelf...No problem...Knocked back a couple Pacificos? Now we got a problem. So I'm home alone like Macaulay just hoping Joe Pesci comes and tries to break in so I have someone to hang with. Him Larry (was that his name) will probably be trying to break out by the time Im finished with those a-holes. I'd even let the pigeon lady in the crib at this point.

So for those that don't know my newly established "bff" Krista is who I stay with in OC since I work out here. Congrats to her on finishing her first year of law school. I'd sooner shove bamboo chutes up my fingernails before going through law school so kudos to those that make it through and congrats again Krista on sticking it out.

Digressing. So her and her law pals are out for the night and it's a night strictly for the law pals. No big whoop because I'm shacked up in beautiful Laguna Beach where there is so much to do...Errrr. Monday huh? Tomorrows Tuesday and we know how I feel about Tuesday's wretched existence. Im thinking I might go for a walk, maybe stumble into a hotel and sit in a hot tub, maybe catch a flick from the red box. Who knows I may just get crazy and go pick a fight with a dolphin that I saw doing flips in the sea yesterday. Ya dolphin! You think your better than me because you have a air hole and a dorsal fin?! Snout check pal. Boom! punk'd by a real mammal that has feet and a opposing thumb. I'd like to see your porpoise ass play Legend of Zelda with that flipper. Not happening bud. Beat it Flipper!

My team doesn't have to show up to win the championship-

The Daily Drivel: Here is a run down of some of my favorite all time...

2011-05-07T14:29:00.000-07:00

The Daily Drivel: Here is a run down of some of my favorite all time...: "One of the all time best lines in a movie 'so it was you' by Kelly McGillis. You know the scene where they are in the flight simulation clas..."

Rate my unstoppable fantasy squad.

2011-05-06T12:52:00.000-07:00

C Kurt Suzuki

(Oak - C)
1B Brett Wallace

(Hou - 1B)
2B Robinson Canó

(NYY - 2B)
3B José Bautista

(Tor - 3B,OF)
SS Ian Desmond

(Was - SS)
OF Brennan Boesch

(Det - OF)
OF Grady Sizemore

(Cle - OF)
OF Alfonso Soriano

(ChC - OF) OF
Util Ike Davis

(NYM - 1B)
Util Andre Ethier

(LAD - OF)
BN Nick Swisher

(NYY - OF)
BN Chipper Jones

(Atl - 3B)
BN Jonny Gomes

(Cin - OF)
BN Vladimir Guerrero

(Bal - OF)
BN Jorge Posada

(NYY - C)
DL Josh Hamilton

(Tex - OF) DL

SP David Price

(TB - SP)

SP Kyle Lohse

(StL - SP)
SP Dan Haren

(LAA - SP)
RP Justin Masterson

(Cle - SP,RP)
RP Carlos Zambrano

(ChC - SP,RP)
RP Aroldis Chapman

(Cin - RP)
P Matt Capps

(Min - RP)
P Rafael Soriano

(NYY - RP)
P Derek Holland

(Tex - SP)
BN Brandon Beachy

(Atl - SP)
DL José Contreras

(Phi - RP)
DL Neftali Feliz

(Tex - RP)
DL Johan Santana

(NYM - SP)

The results are in...I am a cubicle monkey now!

2011-05-05T17:53:00.000-07:00

Just real quick since Im wrapping my day up here in a minute. I started a new job in L.A. quickly got transferred to Irvine. Now I only live in L.A. on the weekends and pay rent blah blah blah. The commute is brutal so that's not an option to drive from L.A. to O.C. everyday. The good news is my new office is cool as shit. I like the people I work with and there is deffinitely a game plan and things are moving forward. I'm deffinitely living a different life now vs. 3 months ago when I worked from home and would meet Zac a few times a day for lunch, coffee, power meeting, whatever. I am now a cubicle monkey. I do have a pretty sweet view though. Or i'm not far from a sweet view.

I win everything, everywhere, everytime

Me 3 months ago:

Me today.

Here is a run down of some of my favorite all time movie quotes: Toss some in for me.

2011-05-05T17:28:00.000-07:00

One of the all time best lines in a movie "so it was you" by Kelly McGillis. You know the scene where they are in the flight simulation class and Maverick and Gooseman are describing how they were in a G negative inverted dive with a mig. "You know foreign relations, the bird". If you don't think Charlie Blackwood's (Kelly McGillis) drawers just evaporated instantaneously then your way off! So this got me to thinking about blogging about some more classic lines from flicks I like. I'll just compile a few but I encourage some feed back por favor. Or not and go fuck yourself for riding on my blog wave of excellence and being a non contributing pile of shit brain.

1. Office Space
Lumburg: Peter. Don't you think it's time we have a talk?
Peter: Not now Lumburg I got a meeting with the Bob's pfffffft.

2. Top Gun
Charlie Blackwood: So you're the one.

3. Top Gun
Tom Cruise: I will fire when I am god damn good and ready! You got that Ice...man?

4. Ferris Beuller's Day Off
Ben Stein: Beuller? Beuller? Beuller? Beuller?

5. Rambo
Sylvester Stallone: Nothing is over. Nothing. You just don't turn it off! You asked me I didn't ask you!

6. Goonies
Sloth: Hey you guuuuuuuyyyysss!

7. Napoleon Dynamite
Bully: Napoleon...Give me some of your tots.

8. Talladaega Nights
Ricky Bobby: Holy moly, that's like lookin' up Yasmine Bleeth's skirt!

9. Dumb and Dumber
Jim Carey: So your're saying there's a chance?

10. Tombstone
(a)Doc Holliday: I got two guns. One for each of ya.
(b)Doc Holliday: Why Ike whatever do you mean? Maybe gambling isn't your sport. I know, let's have a spelling bee.

11. Forgetting Sara Marshall
Fat waiter kid: Did you get a chance to listen to my CD
Russell Brand: I was going to but I just kept on living my life.

12. The Break Up
Vince Vaughn: What kind of bullshit move was that?
Jennifer Anniston: I'm sorry, what? What happened?
Vince: Oh don't be coy with me. You sent that animal over here to attack me when I was hung over and weak.

13. Donnie Brasco
Lefty: I got cancer of the prick

14. Life (Thanks Dubb for the reminder)
Eddie Murphy: We on deck!
Martin Lawrence: On deck for what?
Eddie: For what!? That upper room niggah! We next. You like baseball, you know how they say on deck? We on deck.

15. Braveheart
Longshanks: Not the archers. My scouts tell me their archers are miles away and no threat to us. Arrows cost money. Use up the Irish. The dead cost nothing.
16. Braveheart
Ginger viking: McCulloch.

17. Gladiator
Maximus: Maximus: [after swiftly dispatching another gladiator] Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?
18. Rocky IV
Ivan Drago: You will lose.

19. Bull Durham
(a) Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Why's he calling me meat? I'm the one driving a Porsche.
(b) Larry: Sears sucks, Crash. Boy, I worked there once. Sold Lady Kenmores. Nasty, whoa, nasty.

20. Tommy Boy
David Spade: Look mommy the rhino's getting to close to the car.

Do me a favor and add some quotes to the list so i can update it. Or don't and be lame.

The Daily Drivel: Damn Kim...Clean it up!

2011-05-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

The Daily Drivel: Damn Kim...Clean it up!: "I was at a casting agency just getting ready to attain Oscar's for best supporting extra role. As I was leaving the building I saw a attract..."

The Daily Drivel: Red Flags...

2011-05-05T15:35:00.000-07:00

The Daily Drivel: Red Flags...: "We experience red flags every day. They occur right before our eyes and sometimes we barely notice they are there. Red flags can reare th..."

Another weekend in the books. even Usama Bin Laden got crushed in the "HT" wake of domination.

2011-05-03T17:57:00.000-07:00

Big week. Big weekend. Big month. I got back to town Thursday last week to walk in to my house and the first thing I see is a business Bowles on my couch ear piece in, lap top open, game face on. Not to much domination took place Thursday but the rest of the weekend was not so lucky.

Friday I took my culinary skills to the grill and fired up some tri tip and corn on the cobb. The night kind of crept up on me so the cobbs may have got a bit charred. After dinner we hit up Bar Lubitsch for mild to moderate action. Pretty uneventful so not to much to report.

Saturday was beautiful so the "HT" and our honorary "HT" geust Bowles took our action to Malibu to catch some rays and run a few streaks and curl routes on the beach. Our pass completion ratio may have been low but the presence managed to get established with authority.

Sunday we decided to take in a little L.A. Doyer (Dodger) game. We got approached by who may have been one of the most crafty salesmen since Billy Mays. We rolled up to the entrance without tickets yet and the scalper approached us. He informed us that the game was sold out due to it being 1981 Dodger World series t-shirt day and all of L.A. had come out to partake in the free tees. Nobody in their right mind was going to miss this game according to our toothless homie. "Ok bro how much"? I asked the scalper. $120 was his response. "No thanks we're out" I said. Then he dropped the most profound sales line on me i've ever heard...Tickets cost theyselves! I immediately slammed on the brakes as i was slapped in the face with the reality that this man was correct. Tickets do cost theyselves. Actually i drove off and found out the game was not solt out and we could get any seat in the house. So we got our free tees, Bowles put his right on because it was bigger than his little brother's shirt he came with and Zac chucked his to me which I ended up giving to some waterhead lady later since I figured she needed it more than me. we found our seats and I posed for a pic in Dodger stadium in my Will the Thrill jersey (wear it doyers). I immediately got shit from the crowd but gave them the "bring it hands" so I earned respect for being a sport. so the word on the street is that Dodger dogs are the thing to get so we grabbed a couple Doy dogs. Pat got a side of nacho cheese but that's what you do when salad is your arch nemesis. Andre Ethier continued his hitting streak that was cool. If he brakes the record I can say i saw the 27th game of the streak. The Dodger's got crushed and we left the stadium to go home for a little pork loin and portabello and fruit salad bbq. The word leaked out that Usama got anhilated Sunday night so we capped the weekend off with a little Eye of the Tiger and USA chant and Boom! back to work. Tuesday is my bitch.

Peace out Bowles. See you and Sac in July.

Solid little weekend.

Geust of the week: Patrick (Joe) Bowles

2011-04-28T17:35:00.000-07:00

Crash! Bam! Boom! Splat! That's the sound of the Bowles plane landing at Burbank yesterday. Some of you may know Bowles as a crafty businessmen slanging fake ID's and throwing raging parties at Club Fordham,which you would not be admitted into without first coughing up the $5 cover, or you may know the adult entrepreneur wheeling and dealing investments and real estate Bowles. Just a true blue hustler through and through.

This should prove to be an interesting weekend as most do when Bowles is in town. What kind of shenanigans we will get into is yet to be seen. Chances are the arrests will be to a minimum as well as the debauchery as he is on the wagon like a good jew boy but domination will not escape the vice grip which Pat puts everything into that crosses his path.

More to come later...

Bowles...

The Daily Drivel: The "Hella Tightness" reunites for another evening...

2011-04-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

The Daily Drivel: The "Hella Tightness" reunites for another evening...: "It's true. The HT is forming like Vultron again tonight. We engaged in separate day plans today. I had to throw 3 dominant innings in the mo..."

The Daily Drivel: Sac Town Easter action...

2011-04-27T13:45:00.000-07:00

The Daily Drivel: Sac Town Easter action...: "Thursday approximately 12 p.m. I get the memo that Obama is coming into town and the highways are going to be clogged with a holes trying to..."

Sac Town Easter action...

2011-04-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

Thursday approximately 12 p.m. I get the memo that Obama is coming into town and the highways are going to be clogged with a holes trying to catch a glimpse or act like they have business to tend to with Barack in town. Beat it! The "HT" is planning on a road trip to Sac today and don't have time for you creeps.

The drive:

6 p.m. rolls around and we saddle up for a trip of epic proportions consisting of In n Out and a Mormon family with 12 toe headed heathens between the ages of 5-12 running around the place terrorizing Erica poking her in the arm to the point she had to switch seats with Zac to get away from from the child of the corn. One of the little jerks came within a foot of me and stared at me till I checked him with a "too close bro"! He got the message and went and played patty cake. About 30 miles later a nice civilian pulls up next to me and starts pointing at my tire. I didnt really get it at first but apparently my tires were down to the metal parking all over the road. I pulled over ever so cautiously of this guy because I wasn't sure if he had road rage or just being nice. Zac was convinced he was going to wear me as a pelt. Turns out this was just the nicest dude ever and offered to follow us to a gas station and help me change my tire. I decided to see how far we could roll on this blazing wheel of excellence and made it to some small town near Harris ranch. POP! we pull over and E gets aaa on the horn. some lonely CHP stopped by and was overly insistent on hanging out until the tow truck got there. We insisted it wasn't necessary but I think Erica was striking his fancy whipping her ginger mane all over in his face (at least in his mind). So Jed beat it and the tow truck driver swapped out the tire in record timing and back to our mission cruising on a doughnut for the next 200 miles.

Sacramento/Friday

So we get to Sac around 2 a.m. I hit the couch at my gma's and was out almost instantly. Woke up Friday with Rebecca Black in my head. You know the terrible song called Friday. Ya it's brutal and Greg posted it on my facebook page. I drove out to my old office to drop off some equipment and find out it's now a web design/web site hosting deal. Cool thanks for the heads up. From there I met up with Pip and Greg at haggin Oaks for some intense golf action. I knocked back a few tall boys and my game was on point, at least compared to the last time i golfed.

Got home and got dressed for dinner with my mom and Grandma. We decided to go to Zocalo's since Paesano's was closed. After dinner my mom dropped me off with Greg and Boston Rob. I don't remember the last time I saw someone so pumped to see me when I saw Rob. This fool was like a a happy little mutt when his master returned home going on about how svelt I looked and how awesome my hair was. Damn Rob! Good looking homie good to see you too. Bo Ro sure knows how to welcome a guy home. Good to see you pal. We ended up knocking a few back at G's and watched stumble around for a bit and gave Pip some friendly advice. Capped the night off with a few 32 oz's and some Shark Tank re runs (my new favorite show).

Saturday:

Woke up on Greg's couch around 10 a.m. to a ever so spritely Greg. Just a chipper chap. Chipper Jones hung over as f%$k on a Saturday. Left Greg's to pick up C Watts for Easter dinner/Corvette slanging. Then hit the gym with Bowles. Didn't really mix any weights in and sat in the hot tub for about an hr and mixed in a little sauna action. Not bad after a long night of Greg and Bo Ro.

Got back to gma's at about 5 p.m. and visited with my aunt Jan and Sina. Grandma J whipped up a dominant Easter dinner and I delivered a grace that was pretty rookie level but whatever I piss doves. It's always good times hanging with my mom my aunts and Corey. These ladies always have a good sense of humor and laugh at my jokes. We caught up for a bit had a few glasses of wine then it was almost time to meet up with the crew again. The plan was to meet at Greg's to pregame before going out down town. when I get to Greg's house he is face down on his couch spooning the daylights out of some pillows and a blanket. If a sloth and a human mated this is exactly what it would look like. So Greg appears to be bailing but ended up making it out later. Me,Bowles, Erica and Zac rolled to Mix. We thought about The Park but then saw the scene and thought better of it. Mix it is. Brandon Lower and his pal Justin also met up with us at Mix. We snapped some flix, shot the shit, apparently pissed off one of Erica's dude friends that we went to high school with and has some mysterious leftover animosity towards us. Weird but whatever. Knocked a few back at Mix then me and Bowles rolled to Ink to get some food late night. When i got home to my gma's Corey was still up so we hung out for a bit and crushed a few Bud Light Limes. Apparently my neighbors heard us talking out front because grams was a little sour the next day. Sorry nabes.

Sunday:

By this point Im pretty worn down from all the running around over the weekend but I still need to see my dad and his fam as well as scoop up Erica in El Dorado Hills to head back to L.A. I had to drive to Shingle Springs to see the folks but it was good times. I tossed the ball with my little bro, visited with my step mom and their giant Rottweiler molested me once again. I bagged it up about 3 p.m. and on my way to Erica's folks house i realized I had another tire on the verge of blowing out. Cooooool! On Easter too! Luckily after trying like 25 tire stores that were all closed we found out Sears was open. On the way to Sears we must have passed 99 tire stores all closed as I'm just dragging my feet getting dirty looks from cars as they pass. Wtf do you want me to do pal! I have a flat useless tire get off my back! Sears...Tire...Installed...Back to it. Me and E flew solo on the way back as 1/3 of the HT stayed behind. 6 hrs of open road ahead of us. We talked a good amount of shop but the highlight was definitely making remixes to Bone Thugs N Harmony. we couldn't figure out the lyrics so we decided to make up our own. We dedicated a verse to Zac too it was pretty phenomenal.

The "Hella Tightness" reunites for another evening of tightery

2011-04-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

It's true. The HT is forming like Vultron again tonight. We engaged in separate day plans today. I had to throw 3 dominant innings in the most slap dick league I've ever seen. It was pretty fun to get on the hill again though plus I piss majestic mountain ranges in my sleep when I take the mound. Zac and Erica batted around the beach ball and threw the ball around for Rocket (their future golden retriever) at some beach in Malibu. I'm sure whatever beach they were on got bitch slapped with tightness so way to rep guys.

Now we collaborate for an evening of tightery. Yea I made that word up so if you don't like it go do yourself a favor and swan dive into a brick wall. And yea I get that diving into a wall is probably not possible but I drivel. So here we are. Looking like a Chateau Marmot night or maybe Bar Lubitsch maybe a little Den action? Theses are all joints we frequent fyi. I'm sure whatever or wherever we end up it's going to get put into a headlock and scream uncle before we leave. Hella tight.

Back on the grind and I'm not sure how I feel about it...

2011-03-30T19:51:00.000-07:00

Boss character: By the looks of these reports you've handed in it's as if you have no business experience at all.
Kramer: Just trying to get ahead.
Boss character: Well I'm sorry we just can't afford to keep you on.
Kramer: I don't even actually even work here.
Boss character: That's what makes this so difficult.

Yep. It's official. Back to the office. Back to driving 30 minutes to work everyday. Just trying to get ahead. I bad mouthed working from home, just rolling out of bed and taking two steps and boom! I'm in the office. I geuss everything has it's pluses and minuses though so whatever I can't complain. I'm pretty sure I was turning into the uni bomber sitting in my apartment all day everyday. That feelings gone so I geuss that's good. I closed a big loan my first day so that's a plus too. Back on the grind for D.J. The Drivel may be a little more spread out so my 3-4 readers bare with me as I'm just trying to be a responsible human. I still kind of wish we were cavemen still though. Whatever my pupils see nothing but $$$$$$$$$$$.

I may have found a gold mine

2011-03-26T19:04:00.000-07:00

Stumbled into the Grove yesterday with E Flen. The Grove is a mall round here yonder. It's a happening little place. They had kind of a farmer's market type of deal going on. I found this store that sells just hot sauce. Just wall to wall hot sauces. I never realized there were some many damn hot sauces. My head was spinning. I think I may have found a gold mine here. Combine this store with the Nike outlet and the wall of shoes I almost fainted over and you have a perfect combination of excellence.

Geust of the week: Howie Kevin Correa

2011-03-25T01:08:00.000-07:00

It's true. The title says it all. Howie Kevin Correa is gracing the city of angels with his presence this weekend. I'm sure we will have a catch, swill some ale, avoid getting smoked by taxi's, and snatch L.A. up by one leg and spank it on it's back door. Yep. Howie. Dominance. This guy knows Howie to party.

This is what I've become: A freaking cyber geek...Cooooool life! Grandma don't read this.

2011-03-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

Don't mind me I'll just be over here playing World of War craft and dating supermodels on the Internet. Yep just sitting around looking all pasty, acne everywhere, out of shape, twinky wrapper's surrounding me. Really fucking coooool self. I'm seriously getting cabin fever here. I've been waiting to start this new job for like 2 weeks now. But I don't have a whole lot to do while I'm waiting. I know like three people in L.A. two of the three have regular day jobs or are doing something all day i have no idea. Zac I see daily which keeps me from putting foil up on my windows and boarding up my doors because I know the C.I.A is spying on me. I've gone to the gym everyday but that only eats up like an hour to an hour and a half of my day. The rest of the time is spent lurking and creeping on facebook, surfing craigslist for hidden treasures, blogging like I just got back from a star trek convention and Captain Kirk grazed my dick and I had to tell all my cyber pals about it over and over again. I'm running out of options here. I start on Monday so that might keep the IRS headquarters in tact for a few more days, otherwise I'm hopping in the first crop duster I can get my hands on and making like Eddie Murphy in the movie "Life". "Going to the upper rooooom"!

Can someone give me some ideas of what I should do with myself on a rainy day? Maybe I'm doing everything I can do at the moment? I almost miss having a girlfriend right now. At least I would have someone to yell at me letting me know I suck vs. just wondering "am I sucking right now"?

It's all good I've been in numerous funks in my day. Luckily I have this Saturday to look forward to. Little birthday party for a friend which should prove most entertaining. It just happens to be at one of my favorite spots here in town "La Descarga". Live Latin salsa/samba music with sexy ass Latinas shaking their salt shakers all over. Until then though I'll be here shacked up in my cave plotting world domination and honing my WOW skills saying shit like this:

Clothadin -

Term that can be used to refer to a Paladin who wears cloth armor for better healing stats, or a Paladin who specializes in healing. Paladins who wear cloth are often seen as someone who picked the wrong class, however, this is a byproduct of poor plate itemization.

This is me:

wednesday jam of the day: Eyes without a face. Just pour me on some popcorn.

2011-03-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

This is my jam. I heard it today at the gym and almost started weeping in the middle of bench pressing a Blue whale. The nine guys in Affliction tees necessary to spot me watched in respectful amazement. This song just turns me into a pile of melted butter. One it's just a ridiculously sick song and two it reminds me of a happy time in my life. Nothing like nostalgia via song. Go ahead check it out...Let Billy lull you into a state of 80's dipped Nirvana.

Is Tim Lincecum serious? Whatever my TV hasn't left the MLB channel in 2 weeks.

2011-03-22T15:32:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty laid up these last couple weeks. I start a new job soon but the transition process is taking it's time. So to kill sometime I've been driveling like a mad man. Hey my blogs made me $6.96 so far so it's almost time to hire Warren my butler. During my conversion I've had a lot of time to kill and the MLB channel is like the Grimm Reaper to my clock. I got a little Cubbie vs. Doyer action on as I type. I almost spontaneously combusted in pleasure 2 Sunday's ago drafting my fantasy team. I was pretty content with my draft even though I was in the 10 hole. I got Robinson Cano and Josh Hamilton back to back. Can't complain about the MVP and runner up to kick off the season. I started drafting some veterans also part way through the draft then realized "The Social Peltwork" (name of my fantasy league aka The Pelt) is now a keeper league. Nonetheless I'm content with my picks.

Baseball season is upon us and currently it's the most exciting thing going on in my life (I geuss I mentioned that). Kinda sad, but whatever I piss victories. For anyone that knows me I've been a Giants fan since I was about 9 years old when I first discovered baseball through my boy/playground bully C. Watts. He was an A's/Tigers guy because he liked fat dusty catcher's and I was a Giants guy because Will the Thrill had the coolest batting stance I've ever seen to this day, and his middle name is Neuschler (domination). Through the years I've adopted a few other teams I am fond of as well. Courtesy of Ted Turner (TBS) and Coach Giant Melon I spent my days after school watching the Bravo's on TBS. I followed guys like Dave Justice, Terry Pendleton, Andruw Jones and one of my favorite player's to this day Ol Larry "Chipper Jones. John Rocker although a red neck was also awesome to watch. The guy shot Budweiser cans out of his biceps. Hitter's had no chance against him for about 2 season's. Then N.Y. Met's fans chucked batteries at his horse head and his red neck came out and he told the entire state of N.Y. they were all homosexuals(Anihilation). The A's began to strike my fancy as well in the late 90's. They were just the underdog team with a small market but they always competed and I respected that. They were also the team that gave all the non athletes a chance to swing out their cleats everyday in their best attempt to go yard (Matt Stairs).

That's about all I got. i'm just excited because it's baseball season and I will be at the Doyer vs. Gigantes game at Doyer stadium this year trying my hardest to get arrested for pantsing Andre Ethier and crescent kicking Hong Chi kuo in his moon head (water head). Here is an awesome video of Timmay that sums up why you should be a giants fan. Wtf is Tim Lincecum doing? I'm not sure if this is funny or not but I like it regardless because he is more than a scrawny pot head with a rocket arm.

As if i could get more awesome...Add cooking and my own recipe to the arsenal

2011-03-21T18:59:00.000-07:00

I thought I pretty much peeked out. I wasn't sure there was more room for awesome but I was wrong again. Cooking! Yep. Chef ya boy D. That's what I'm known as now. The tightness assembled for our weekly family dinner upon the notion that Huevos Rancheros may be the best thing ever. While sucking down some Huevos this weekend I lurked on Erica's dish and noticed she had some super sweet looking criss cut fries. Huevos Rancheros typically comes with corn tortillas but what if we substituted them for criss cut fries? Boom magic established. I was challenged to make this dream come true and not being a sucker I will perform. I am calling my dish "Irish Huevos Rancheros" due to the potatoe intervention and a few other additions that I threw in.

Step 1: You have to fry up some fries. We went with flat scalloped style because the criss cutting was to difficult without the proper utensil. Boil the scallops in a pot with 2 bottles of oil dumped in. Preheat the oil to 325. Let them sit for 20 minutes then add season salt and corn meal for crispiness. 2 potatoes should get you where you need to be. This takes the longest so start here. Dominance.

Step 2: Get to slicing and dicing like a Kavorkian. It's important to chop with violent intensity and talk to the food like your it's master. I went with fresh jalapenos, red bel pepper, green bell pepper, some cilantro, chicken apple sausage and potatoes obviously. Dominance. You may want to slick your hair back like Ricky Schroeder or Jesse James for good measure. Mainly to show anger and aggression to the ingredients so they don't start getting whacky and back sassing. Winning.

Step 3: Choose the proper supporting cast. I chose "The Hella Tightness" because the last thing you want to do is pick someone that is not hella tight and effs up the whole program. If they have a Spartucus chin or sweat neon green you can assume they are "Hella Tight". This is also the step where you compile everything into their respected pans. Crack open 3-5 eggs depending on how many people and thrown the vegetable and meat shrapnels into a pan with some black beans and let it simmer until cooked. Crushing.

Step 4: This is where it get's tricky and takes the hands of Lynn Swann and Steve Largent to pull off. The egg transfer. If your not careful you will break the yolks or break the whites causing the whole thing to be a catastrophic waste of time and if your like me you travel at the speed of light mixed with whatever Barry Bonds was on, time is not cheap.Sprinkle large quantities of cheese over the eggs until you can hear yourself getting fatter. Top it off with some salsa verde and Voi la. Irish Huevos Ranchers. Complete utter domination at it's finest. Beat it Wolf Gang!

Step 5: Enjoy. The inside of your mouth should look like this or you blew it. Punk'd via culinary. Party.

The Adjustment Bureau should be called "The Hella Tight Bureau"

2011-03-20T12:31:00.000-07:00

Every so often you go to a movie and just get the feeling this was the exact movie you needed to see at this juncture in my life. The Adjustment Bureau was that for me. It's a combination of The Da Vinci code, Matrix and Notebook. All three of these in my eyes are winners.

The adjustment Bureau is a a team of what could be considered angels to carry out the chairman's (god) "plan". I had no idea there would be a religious undertone to this movie but it was definitely there. The bureau are a team of guys who's responsibility is to make sure humanity plays it's part. They make minor "adjustments" in our lives that will permanently affect our decisions and the impact they have on the world. For example if you spill some copy on yourself walking out of your apartment one day on your way to work and you go back in to change your shirt you may miss the bus you were going to take and miss the chance of meeting the love of your life. This is an actual example from the movie. The Bureau explains to Matt Damon's character David Norris who is a young upcoming politician in New York, that mankind cannot handle freewill. We are to irresponsible and almost extinct ourselves when we have the option. The issue David Norris faces is he meets the love of his life in the Waldorf men's bathroom (Emily Blunt) Elise. They share a moment and she disappears for the next 3 years to reconnect on a public bus. They immediately reconnect and make plans to see each other in the future. Unfortunately for David this is not according to the chairman's plan. It was not written that Elise and David end up and the Bureau is here to make sure it doesn't happen. They have the ability to manipulate reality and affect the outcomes of chance and freewill. Without giving away the rest of the movie it personifies true love and the lengths we will go to attain it.

This movie hit a soft spot for me. Mainly because I'm a big sap and possibly because I've been recently challenged with similar obstacles. I believe in a higher power just not organized religion, and this movie I don't feel slaps you in the face with religion. It poses scenario's that are addressed and discussed in all of the big books however in a non biased way. I also believe in signs from the "chairman" myself. Me seeing this flick on a Saturday night randomly felt a little fortuitous. I've felt the way David Norris felt before in my life. The feeling where you have met that person and nothing would get in the way of being with them. Sometimes things just are not meant to be and fate works in a reverse, but it's all a part of the plan. Or we are just floating on this planet aimlessly and who gives a shit anyway just bang everything with a pulse.