Closer to... SANE!

2012-01-24T21:45:00.000-05:00

Please,no spam as is deleted. Thanks!

Not much to say. Just touching base with those who read this blog and my posts. Would be nice once in awhile to get a comment on how health blog helps you as I feel am talking to the wind sometimes.

People with disabilities Network needed...

2012-01-15T15:19:00.001-05:00

Spam deleted..

for when someone with a disability needs help now like for instance my dog was ill two days ago,appearing weak,lame and some vaginal swelling,bleeding and she is spayed so not normal(turns out ate pine from wreath with lacquer on it. thankfully threw it up today.). if had money,could take her to vet. Don't as have disabillities that get in way of holding down a regular job(if had to would have tapped into rescue group nearby for help but they help cats) which is why I am an artist who sells her work,namely jewelry to shops,at craft fairs and individual sale to supplement my disability income which isn't much. Had 3 % increase only to get $10 deduction in food stamps,a $13. increase for year. la di da. Why go after little bit I have? Isn't goal independence,to live independently as possible in community using least government money? I was told by by vesid had to find own job,job coach there only for a short time in prejudiced company as attitudes awful. In east greenbush remember company who hired disabled successfully. could learn from them. Inclusiion not segregation. do jobs like filing,copying so others can do more detailed work. shared job with other person so worked pt. creative solution. dss said I would find it hard to find job could do alone mostly as mostly service jobs and I also have spine,knee injury so no stock work. I am a great advocate though and teach people daily if care to listen what is to have disabilities but live on own with dignity. What does a politician who supposedly represents me and my concerns as a democrat get? He can't relate to me and how I can't even afford to wash my clothes at a laundry mat! I said to one recently,Lennon of Cairo 'why not use skype instead of traveling if country is so bankrupt? He replied"interesting". (is business as usual in good ol' Cairo despite it being a new year as the same old cronies are in office happy their pockets are full) except for Ted Banta,the realtor who never met. Good luck is all can say to him as won't change any of their minds as they lack vision and they sit on their hands and pass the buck and if you confront them on anything they disagree with you on they blow you off with a line like we got to answer this call,have an appointment and so on doing as l9ittle as possible most of them.. experts at that but don't do anything to help anyone but themselves and their own. The cronies are all connected from the top to the bottom including town oficials in town hall,building dept. who are connected to the police dept and so on,how cosey! Just one big club while the rest of the town is dirt poor living on welfare,social security,unemployment as many lack talent,intellect,schooling,social,conflict resolution,ange r management,sustaining employment skills and aren't stupid,lazy.. How very sad. Is why Cairo is a mess and looks like a ghost town.(full of abandoned store fronts and broken dreams of people who atleast tried to make something here but then left in disgust). God forbid a Prattsville happened as many would be wiped out as hurting now daily while those in power 9ignore,avoid,don't talk to,look other way smiling on. What kind of example is being set for the youth growing up here? What option do they have but to leave after graduation from high school or community college as nothing here or stay but work in Albany,kingston.

Cut the fat, the real fat and waste here like business lunches on us,plane rides,mistresses,instead of my income,someone with disabilities for God's sake. Oh yeh I forgot , God isn't in politics. Separation of church and state. He has been removed off everything so as not to offend the atheists but it offends me a Christian so I will speak of him and if working if it is against my beliefs I will say so like some don't work Sundays.

+ will touch more on how else to trim the fat below like in relation to health care which is a popular topic these days.

Yes there are different organizations that supposedly advocate for those with disabilities like in Albany,NYAPRS,(New York Association for Psychiatric Rehabilitative Services),Center for Independence(I volunteered there when lived in Albany a year and helped pass the parity bill which entitles those with mental challenges to get medical coverage that those with physical illness get.) I met and wrote to /with legislators like Breslin who seemed sensitive to our concerns genuinely and didn't just say some BS line like they do and then pass the buck as they blow you off. Then there's Disabled on the Move in Westchester and is Council for the Disabled in Catskill that doesn't seem to do much sorry. Chatted with woman who heads it Ms. Lucia as her son is autistic so relates to disability concerns especially mental. I shared how I can't really make much money here,although took art,jewelry classes,have skills,design,make,sell jewelry,art to shops at fairs, as don't have a driver's license and is hard to get around as poor transit system here(had spoken to first student and greene county transit,Office for the Aging(as transported my mom on local bus from nursing home and hit side of our home,didn't report happened and denied it when called on it as i reported it as my mom and had to let landlord know who then called bus company as minded my biz and left to her to do as she wanted. and didn't strap my mom in properly but left her chair just with lock on it on bus and she could have flown,not cool.) about this as well as Mr. Lennon,Democrat ticket of Cairo to no avail. Felt sad aFTER AND THAT I ACCOMPLISHED LITTLE BUT TRIED ATLEAST. cHANGE ONly OCCURS WHEN ENOUGH PEOPLE GET TOGETHER IN FRUSTRATION AND step beyond their fears of repercussions and voice their concerns with a few common goals and ideas in common and do something,not just complain, to bring about a difference. I heard we have poor transit as they tried last year to join with other bus companies out of county like Ulster(at Saugerties border as that bus goes to Kingston mall and another to Woodstock. Also is a loop to Poughkeepsie and you could connect to Metro North to go to Westchester and NYC cheap. and Columbia county(goes to Albany for $10 round trip from city shuttle,great deal or you can connect to Amtraak). Anyway thy said talks ended as had no money. Sure don't have any money as are paying for abled bodied people to sit home on their duffs as can't find work here so have given up so collect either unemployment or welfare. No jobs here so one has to go to Kingston and Albany to get one,hello! A no brainer. Too bad will take time to travel. Unemployment is hitting 8% in Greene county. How bad do things have to get before people stand up for themselves and demand action? I have multiple disabilities including head trauma,spinal injury,knee injury and some emotional issus from PTSD and do more than those who don't struggle with what I do daily.

paid site down..

2012-01-07T15:26:00.000-05:00

Spam deleted.

Wasn't making money off it. Had free trial. Cancelled with company! around Xmas when due to expire free trial but since holiday,offices closed and was billed $ 41. I called Vistaprint and they removed fee. Sadly my bank billed me $ 35. Eventhough I have no overdraft protection so if money not there,not supposed to cover transaction. Bank rep. Said best can do is remove $ 15. Of $ 35. Fee. I said need money took to live as on tight disability income with disabilities. He said would speak to supervisor. Left #. Still no call back. Will follow up next week.

Typing on new portable,wifi pc using pen. Prefer just typing on regular size key board but Android cheap,$ 100. so trying it out. Have a month til decide to return to CVS where got or not. It is by Craig. So far have seen no number to call for any support but an email and 90 day waurantee only. No cam but has some apps free like games,radio stations can't get here,some organization tools like calendar,note taking. For $ 92. , saw another mini laptop +7" with cam and ship. Also had seen one with cam and year tech soft,hard ware support with 2 GB android. Also one in windows same price,no cam. Have heard from techie better with windows as Android often has problem. Windows pricey so good if in it. I do want,need cam to replace damaged Fuji. Had sent it back to company. Rebuilt $ 90. With zoom,4 mpx,video. Still need to research options better.

Come to my meditation Class...

2011-11-20T23:17:00.000-05:00

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

and meet me at town hall in Cairo,NY. Runs fro 6 PM-8PM. Suggested donation is $5.00 I have more info on my web site Artzstuf so just click on link above. Hoe to see you there!

Also don't forget to come to our holiday stroll 11/26 also in Cairo on main street. I will be at Gallagher's as a crafter/artist selling my jewelry,art. Runs from 3:30-7 PM. free admission,refreshments,vendors,parade,tree lighting to welcome in the holiday season.

Have a Happy,safe Thanksgiving all!

Got some food from food pantry today for Thanksgiving and...

2011-11-20T00:06:00.000-05:00

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

also got a couple of coupons from them so could get milk and a roasted chicken from the super market. It looked like was having nothing til some lady on bus told me food pantry giving out food. Cat food running low and just bought it. Will call first and get some Tuesday from them hopefully.

I also spoke to pastor and volunteers about my situation,how make jewelry,art and can't get around to sell it,how broke am,how alone am here as noone to do things with,just now people as acquaintences,not really friends. They suggested come to Bible study and could get a ride home after. Seemed sincere. Said they struggle too but together and it helps. I will give it a shot Wednesday eve.

Denise from church comes by once in a while with a donation like dropped some rubber back curtains she had as place live in is unweatherized. Have reached the point like being alone,especially at night as most people am around, I find annoying in some way within a short period of time.

Had wanted to have mom come to home for Thanksgiving not Thanksgiving day,hang out with cats,have a nice relaxing meal,watch a movie,listen to music..but have meditation class Monday night so can't do it as she can't be alone. I guess can just visit Tuesday with a bottle of grape juice in a bottle that looks like wine,something. I can also make a nice meal,freeze some of it like make a nice chicken salad and bring it next Monday with some home made mashed potatoes(will freeze them). They are having a nice meal at the nursing home she is at so she will have a nice holiday. Also having a tree trimming party 12/1/11 but I can't make that either as is late in day and have to catch b us. Will pay for her ornament to place on tree atleast as it supports their recreation programs. Mom enjoys the activities which is good as her roomie stays in the room and some stay in bed. I had my mom outside on grounds alot this past summer when visited and sometimes she was out front on own in wheel chair.

Am glad she's in a safe place and the staff is ok with her,not great as some idiots there. They say hi to her roomie and ignore my mom when enter room. I will mention this to main nurse. I sometimes am at a loss as to what to do as don't want to make things worse for her or rock the boat.

Artzstuf - Artzstuf,welcome - Cairo, NY

2011-11-17T01:38:00.000-05:00

Artzstuf - Artzstuf,welcome - Cairo, NY

Archives of Conferences on BPD

2011-10-03T02:24:00.000-04:00

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

Just click on link of post title.

I have been having a hard time of late. Why? I suppose alot to accept. Don't have to like it though.

Alone alot as no close friends,any one to do things with or to help me if needed help even if for barter.

Making no money,not for lack of trying. Someone went to an event with me and I paid her back with jewelry make. I asked her if could do an event with me but she had plans. She has a job. Since don't hear from her,figure won't call anymore.

I know people but they have their own lives and problems so detach from me and mine.

type with 1 finger as need battery so hold pc plug or pc cuts off.

welcome to my life.

no car to get to events to sell jewelry. just had concert this weekend.
could have sold if got there. then there's the fee. how can I pay if don't have as not making it? could borrow from ma but her money. Am I a masochist as I have a solution but don't take it? No I don't like pain but avoiding it can be painful too when interferes with living your life. No guarantee will make anything and not gambling with mom's money.

Other than vending,nothing can do given my challenges. Yes I can share with you some things I do to cope like meditation,pray,stretch,deep breathe and so on..but not like I get beyond this. I feel with some support could. Did go to online recovery inc. meeting which helped. had anted to teach meditation class in town. librarians unfriendly tho i know skills. feel they on't call me. I also asked churches if could run ea and recovery inc meetings there. they need to look into it. I feel like will go nuts at times. Is meetups too where can invite people thru service online to group in area like for bpd. Don't think library would approve it. Meditation with someone,not me as stigmatize me,yes would approve. Keep me down here and broke. I could make money off it.

I think of moving as saw ad in Albany,1br for $400. I pay $650 now. Could save $,live better but why so cheap problem bad area. Pic looked nice. dunno. darned if do darned if don't. Mom in home here and would be hard to see her often as $34 round trip by bus and only run at rush hour so layover long back. Is doable and even though spend alot in car fare still cheaper than here. Would have $100 more a month.

Is a pain moving but hat is worse as sucks living here like this. If in Albany,could go to day time meetings,maybe get a p/t job somewhere,trauma therapist up there. I get treated like an alien here. They have family friends. Since I can't bond because of how raised, I don't. I wish could. Is best I keep my distance. As for a job,this comes up there too as can do for awhile but then falls apart. Sometimes I ish I was in a half way house but was for a month and they weren't supportive at all. Then I say how abot hospital,day program but then is the same. Just go to groups and alone rest of time as patients are either mean,noncommunicative,in on worlds,violent. Is why I think of suicide. I don't because of pets,mom,me but it gets tiring being me alot going thru this.

This only started recently as time on hands. I have to keep busy or get into my head.
with depression don't want to do much though so is the rub. I feel better after I do. Also I work programs daily like DBT,CBT,12 step,Recovery Inc,pray. Is like a seesaw. The devil,the illness,the negative thoughts,memories,anger,fear,every rotten thing anyone has done or said recently that I know on one side and the positive,secure thoughts,God,scripture from the Bible,program tools on the other. Is a war within myself going on. It stops after 8PM,has been like this for a long time, as day is done,only for it to start again the next day when rise. I enjoy being alone with my pets,being outside sitting in my yard alone at night,like the aloneness as no one understands here except someone else with this. I work hard to be honest,not manipulative. I am screaming inside,help me! Can't you see how much pain I am in? I just want some attention in a good way. Someone to talk to me nicely and not tell me what i should be doing like they understand where I am coming from as they don't. I have an exneighbor I see every once in awhile who is clueless as to why someone so smart as me and aware of her issues can't rise above them. The answer to that is if do too much I crack up.

Two things, I on't get involved with anyone nor will I work many hours. Why? If doesn't work out I will have a breakdown and be in hosital,not a nice place to be and be psychotic. I fear I won't get ot and will never return to any semblance of sanity which I do have. Is like I live in a parallel universe with the average person. I hear what are saying arond me but it is completely alien to my life. I hear commercials like this activity is going on this weekend. I can't get there so I stay home. I would like to go but no money either. If did though, I would appear perfectly normal as the mask i wear is so good. That is why noone has any compassion for me. They have to work for what have and figure so do I. What do you do with someone too imbalanced to? Live as I do I guess falling between a system that doesn't work,one day at a time in quiet desperation.

I get so tired of cli nical and text book reports of what BPD is. I want to know what one can do if they have it.

Borderline Personality Disorder and Me..

2011-09-28T14:58:00.001-04:00

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

(cont.)from select family,friends,support groups,chats,online and locally,humor,distract with movie,tv,not triggering),volunteering,cooking nice meal,hugging self,compassion for self,others,prayer,dropping judgement,expectations,comparing,moping,self pity,manipulating,complaining,worry,hypersensitivity,letting go of,making peace with past,forgiving those who hurt us,accept,be honest,courageous,positive,grateful,remember where were before,(replace old negative statements in writing with positive ones,reduce anger,fear with reframing,working self down,staying in day,control addictions,ask for help,company,not enabling helps. All relative. Put inspiring quotes on walls. Peace,God bless,good luck to all of us. Work it, worth it,stronger,better than you know. Brain remembers,we learn in time not to repeat same mistakes and walk down different st. so don't fall in hole again. Is crux of it. Weren't loved so we have to love us. Don't accept others trash just because have issues,maybe poor,jobless,friendless as keep to self to avoid pain or not being understood. No.one deserves abuse. It ends here,now when we say enough and take back that child,person wounded,depend on selves not another as a crutch,learn to and receive love and walk. No shame,not to blame. We didn't cause this but responsible for what do with it. Is like a balloon. By doing techniques I gave you and do myself,we let a little air out of it at a time so suffering lessens and is bearable We are great and survivors. If you are still here,you are doing more right than wrong. Nothing wrong with us,more like what happened to us. Celebrate your survival. When you finally overcome this you are a miracle and learn to love yourself. No one can take that from you.

Our journey inspires others to make the same as we fly on the backs of us pioneers just like geese taking turns leading,squawking,til we tire and let our sister,brother lead for a time til we reach our goals. Perfection is an illusion. We are ok right now as are,not defective.We need each other as we are part of a unique flock. We are not crazy but have been exposed to violence,etc. that made us function in maladaptive ways as we couldn't be direct to our abusers. When we find a safe place to live,take the right medicine,find a trauma therapist,meet other BPD peers,begin to use these tools above, the healing begins. Don't expect people who haven't lived this to understand and ask for advice as they can't give it to you. Is like we speak an unknown language. They can have empathy but they need to be in a group to deal with us. We are not bad just very misunderstood.

If click on link above can see various youtube videos concerning this illness,it's causes,treatment options,personal stories by those living ith BPD. I believe while it possible to get beyond the criteria for meeting this illness,based on the DSM manual,it is something llike alcoholism that one needs to be are of and manage for the rest of one's life. We can have a life today though due to the wonderful work and commitment from doctors in this field and the personal stories of people with this.

It is my wish that one day people with mental illness are treated with the same respect given to others with physical illnesses people can see. The best remedy is tolerance and inclusion not isolation as it breeds sickness. By daily doing what is necessary,not what we feel like doing we learn to cope with our feelings and let them rise and fall and run their course without attaching danger to them. we stop making mountains out of molehills and gradually learn ne ays of dealing with those and thew world around us and situations e may find ourselves in. We learn to make good decisions not impulsively,for us and our self esteem and security within us grows as we begin to have more and more positive experiences replacing the awful ones from the past. We stop staring as nothing ever changes there. we accept we have no power over others but ourselves and our attitudes and we begin to live life on life's terms not our own. As they say in 12 step promises.these will surely come if we work for them.

D.A.R.E. day in Greene County NY

2011-09-23T23:42:00.000-04:00

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re:DARE day

Hide Details
FROM:
ann Eagan
TO:
darecop1700@yahoo.com
Message flagged Friday, September 23, 2011 11:37 PMMessage body
Hi,

I am an artist,jewelry designer living in Cairo. I usually go to events and sell my jewelry and art. DARE day is different. Also have been a speaking on living green at green fairs and taught jewelry class at library.What I do is healing arts in the form of jewelry making,art(painting) and some photography. I practice alternative medicine,meditation,deep breathing,stretching etc. My story is one of recovery as have struggled with depression and anxiety(in form of being down,hard to do things like homework and socially shy,nervous to point didn't want to attend school anymore and only graduated as guidance counselor referred me to pastoral counseling at Iona college,as from Westchester originally,went to school on scholarship in Rye) for many years.

What I would like to do at DARE if could is speak on mental health awareness,suicide prevention, teaching tolerance,preventing violence like from gangs,a Columbine, bullying and i see it tell an adult(as gay young teen killed himself recently and had a video on youtube about being harrassed in school for years) It is not easy growing up,being a teen,figuring out who you are,trying new things,trying to fit and maybe don't. Not everyone is or can be a foot ball star or cheerleader. Even they put on a mask and really are just trying to be a certain way to be accepted. Many parents live vicariously through their kids making them do things kids don't really want to do like play foot ball when would rather play guitar.

Sometimes kids feel like they are a disappointment. They can be impulsive and is why drink and try drugs as is around and then get behind the wheel. They don't think things thru and think they are invincible.

The name of my company,such as it is as really an artist on a small budget with a website,is Artzstuf. I could suggest alternatives being the arts in it's many forms:dance,music,painting,jewelry design,theater. I would say to be yourself once you find her/him and not to let anyone tell you you can't do something and give up on your dream just because they have on theirs. Parents will recommend going to business school and then get into whatever when graduate and kid hates it. What I do is clearly not for everyone but I am someone unimpressed by degrees and other things like prestige,power,prosperity. Getting by is enough. I bring beauty into the world What would this world be without people like us,or if everyone was a clerk? We are all different and called to be different things. I think we need to embrace our differences that make us who we are and look for the good in each other rather than the bad or the differences that divide us and as say in 12 step choose 'principles over personalities'. Many adults forget this and encourage 'hate speech',prejudice and raise children with closed minds and full of fear like themselves. I think such homes create bullies.

I have faith in something higher to which call God flowing through me so the sky's the limit. Life is an adventure and not a destination and it is no easier by not taking chances than not playing it safe and being bold. The fearful still fall in the same holes as the fearless.

There are many in this town who like to control it and don't welcome any change or those with different,new ideas. With regard to mental health. Many go down to clinic by park and live lives of isolation on outskirts of society and not mixing with it as are stigmatized. Mental,emotional illness is often caused by trauma at an early age such as child abuse,neglect and ,there are some genetic links that run in families and scientists have even seen with brain scans the brains of those with say depression function differently than those who don't . This is carried into adult hood and wreaks havoc on the one who has it and the lives they touch. Medication helps quite a bit so should tell you something. Besides being a problem in the thought area(negative thinking->bad feeling->negative,self destructive behavior ), there is a problem in how the brain is functioning or the chemistry of it. This affliction effects thousands of people. It is said 3 million people in the US alone have bipolar. How come people aren't talking about this more? I have a mood disorder. I am not one for labels as I am a logical person. They are used by shrinks to get paid by insurance companies. Not into labels that put people in neat little boxes as guess what life is messy. I take an antiseizure drug as I compare when go on shopping spree,the manic working,etc. to a seizure. My mom had them and takes something and antidepressant. Why the shame if is physical but effects the brain and body? Many feel is a private matter. I think there is a link between this and epilepsy. I also was in a car accident,head broke wind shield,at 16. Mild head injury or post concussion syndrome.

Can educate people about head injury too as do a bit dail,can get tired with meds,don't compare,block out others suggestions which took me years to do like don't take meds.

I am not ashamed of what i have as didn't cause this. John Bradshaw who wrote 'Healing the Shame that Binds You' wrote and also he was on PBS'shame is that we are a mistake,guilt is that we made a mistake'. I am no mistake. I even had a librarian here in town stand next to me while i was on pc and she said 'freak',. She is a bully and this makes some uncomfortable as usually hide some similar issues themselves. Say I can why can't you?. Not sure if directed at me as she was hanging around looking at what i was typing. She is odd herself. He describes how dysfunctional families have members in them with different roles:mascot,scape goat and so on. I was the invisible one who got good grades as is how I got any attention. Otherwise I was a slave. Cleaned around home,did landscaping and such. I used to hide from my relatives..

Later was a crime victim,was in unhealthy relationships as unhealthy and never learned how to love and receive it,had trouble sustaining employment due to social part of it,the getting along with others,especially if I felt illtreated and home burgled 2 as is why came up here.
Is common for those to be victimized,especially by criminals as are passive,often alone. I am not sure how you serve this population who one doesn't hear about unless they jump off a bridge or kill family then self after lose a job. I say a bandaid is put on it for years. Comes down to trauma and facing it and dealing with what has happened so doesn't happen again and the suffering stops. One stands up for self,learns to love who they are and go on. Not to sing my praises but I think my story is an important one and a gift to this generation. I am not crazy but have been in some crazy situations and met bullies who didn't stand u to out of fear. 'If don't stand for something you will stand anything' No one deserves abuse. It makes you crazy. I and others like me deserve so much more. Their ignorance,and not in my back yard attitudes keep them from knowing people so they rather distance selves and judge,point the finger which points back at them,as makes them feel better about selves as lack self esteem. they look for what they think are easy targets as see others shooting at them and know we might fight against one but not a whole group. Can honestly say,have 8 neighbors who hardly know mr,dislike and talk about me,say hurtful thins as can be sensitive. I am working on not being so and letting past go that wake up to each morning like Ground Hog Day.

There are self help groups such as Emotions Anonomys and Recovery Inc to heal from emotional illness yet few therapists speak or recommend them. I found out through self help clearing house. I have used many things to feel better and not just traditional methods. Currently I try to work witn 'the system' am in to get out of poverty. Government programs such as VESID say if want to be a clerk again they can ghelp and give me a job coach other wise no dice. Is kind of likie saying was in a fire so now be a fireman. They won't support my vending. Live on disability.

I would like some help in sharing it with schools,t DARE,with the police force(to give them a different slant on mental illness to wellness) and to educate people and bust the stigma. If expose it to the light of day,it loses it's power to control and scare us.

Walking in the light,

Ann

Bought a tent,used for my biz today..

2011-09-03T12:52:00.002-04:00

Closer to... SANE!: Today was last Cairo Market day

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

New web site is being worked on to increase traffic and can help more people holistically to supplement traditional medicine. Check back often to see how it is progressing. Again, do not claim to be a doctor so dont say to go off your meds that work or stop seeing doctor,therapist but to try some of my suggestions such as making art,the arts(dance,singing,music),deep breathing,stretching,meditation,etc. as a therapeutic approach to wellness.

Am off to sell some chakra jewelry and healing stones and share with public their healing powers. Also will offer some teaching of meditation.

Enjoy your day. -Ann

Expectations are best avoided so won't be disappointed,frustrated..

2011-09-01T22:21:00.002-04:00

Today was last Cairo Market day

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!

Had a good opportunity today to practice the 'not being effected by what others say and do that may be hurtful and unexpected'principal. I was supposed to get the balance of money due from a client who bought a piece of jewelry. Instead she said that I 'didn't do a good job making it and she didn't want it' after wearing it a week and saying she liked it and i let her take it when she only gave me $24 as a deposit when item was $55 and she owed me on previous order $12. Initially I was annoyed but didn't show it but instead gave her some money had on me. Will not do biz with her again. Bracelet was custom-made to boot. I gave it to my mom who liked it. There was nothing wrong with it. Decided to let her and it go. All good, as I made back $40 from other customers and have another order for $20. God is good. I choose to 'wear this world as a loose garment' til I am with the Lord. Before I would have been angry and said something and then been sad,as had planned to spend the money on some things needed. I can't expect people to do what say. Need to expect disappointment and frustration as part of life and being realistic. Can't be sensitive although my nature as an artist. Also some are rude,crude,inconsiderate,stupid but must endure for my mental health. Can only control me and my attitude. Can't expect people to think like me. I can hang out and do biz with nicer people in the future and get my money up front before make anything and let them know it is non-refundable. Is why I prefer the quick sale at shows as it gets to be too much running a biz.

Flea Market was a Bust,Thanks for nothing Carol and Chamber of Commerce of Cairo,NY

2011-07-06T23:54:00.002-04:00

While I appreciate your comments to my posts, I would ask firstly that they pertain to topic and are not spam in nature. Thanks!.

Attended flea market in Cairo, NY for the first and last time apparently this season. Carol from Chamber of Commerce here asked for $20 from me to sell at school lawn,when last year she said if there was space I didn't have to pay if space,as I said on disability. There was plenty of space as not many buy here so less vendors come. She said 'You pulled the same thing last year and don't come back next week'. I said she said could last year to which she said she didn't. I then said 'fine., not like make anything here anyway'. Maybe I'm crazy but isn't it the Chamber of Commerce's job to promote people,businesses and in my case artists who create jewelry and art here in the Hudson Valley so people can buy here to better the economy? Instead I was oppressed once again here and 'beaten down' and not encouraged,supported,praised for my work.(No one sells jewelry but me in Cairo) They charge a fee to join I can't pay. The 'youth fair' is $40 to sell there for one day. I only sold $ 40 last year and then fee had to be deducted from it so not worth my time. I sat in a hot tent for hours. Crazy! Then they wonder why many drink,drug,sell drugs in this town, when they don't support the poor to better selves creatively as am creative but infact look the other way,ignore them as if they will just go away, as not their problem when in fact is everyone's problem. Is a cold way to live not to care about your neighbor,especially when he or she has fallen beside you and yo can help in a small,simple way by giving a smile,a hello,not working against them but helping them get out of the pit of 'despair' they find selves in. At least I try and don't sit on butt watching soap operas feeding my face complaining about things and feeling sorry for myself.

I comfort self in knowing not all see things as I do so I can let anger and them go and move on. I work a 12 step program. I think everyone needs a program to 'deal' now a days with others so don't 'persoanalize' what do and say as is just them. Many are 'rude,crude and inconsiderate' now and just think of selves. The pathetic thing in this is that when you' think about self all the time,you don't think much of your self'. All they have is their bitterness as they are devoid of love and God. I pray i never get like this.

Today although had a straw hat on,bottled water and a portable fan,felt my body over heating due to the sun as was out in the open as was shady in morning when got there but then wasn't. I left as felt ill. Unlike many other vendors there, I had no awning and large table. Mine is home as can't carry it myself so walked there pushing a cart with chair,small table and product selling in a knapsack on my back. Do what have to do. everyone's situation is different.Can clearly see my situation is different than the rest there. She says 'others pay so can't just let me not or others won't want to either'.She seems miserable,angry and wants to make others feel the same. I will pray for her and the others in this town like her who don't have any sense of decency or 'heart'. They do nothing for you but work against you and talk about you within eAR SHOT. tHE MEN ARE LIKE 'WASH WOMEN' AND THE WOMEN BEHAVE LIKE 'OVERGROWN CATTY BRATS'. 'Some times your the wind shield sometimes your the bug' i don't have to do anything to her. God will take care of her. She doesn't know how 'lost' she is as it is by 'giving' and being 'kind' to those in need that you get blessed. 'You can't take it with you'. people wonder why they are depressed. It is how they live that makes them so.

My pets are 'my family',other than mom in home and I do my best for them and love them very much. When I ask for some help from those in community I live in,from people in better situations,working with friends,family and a car I get a slap in the face. No one does anything with me either as they are 'too good' to be my friend. All I can say is their loss.

Cairo is like many small towns in upstate NY. People came to and live here to be left alone and ran away from crime,pace and overpopulation of city. Sadly anything or anyone in a vacuum doesn't grow as humans were not made to be 'islands'. The 'townies' are ignorant,hostile,ultraconservative,narrow-minded and unfriendly. I say screw em. I walk with head phones on,do for self and amuse myself and do business else where. If you have a business,are looking for a nice community to live in, or looking to vacation in the 'Catskills' and shop,have lunch and chat some place with 'nice' people,,I'd say don't stop here.Why? The devil lurks here. He has many in bondage to sin and addiction. He is dancing leaping for joy in the streets of Cairo who has given up on itself and it's people within,especially those who make them look at themselves. They are deluded into thinking they are'good' and 'better than' the trashy people on welfare as they put it when they are worse as should know better than to act this way. 'If any man has strength let other light their candles to it'.

Isn't it ironic that Cairo got it's name from Cairo,Egypt, a city that enslaved many Jews. Cairo,NY is a reflection of this. Many of it's people are shackled in chains. Some are free but they are secret Christians too afraid to share their faith with others. God made this world,Jesus was born of Mary and died for us so we could be saved. He was the son of God and rose again. The Holy Spirit lives in each Christian so whom shall we fear?! No man or woman. 'greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world'. Today is a modern day version of Sodom and Gomora. People are doing what want and what feels good,ignoring the Bible and paying the ultimate price as they are growing further and further from God and his plan for them and following Satan instead. They might not be devil worshipers but a leapord has many spots and the devil can assume many forms in the prettiest and handsomest of faces and sweetest of voices saying what you want to hear. By reading the Bible,keeping in the word,applying it to your life,sharing it with others by attraction not promotion as Jesus did(if people didn't want it He moved on),you are obeying God. I am 'in the world but not of it'. Is why am not popular as am sharing something people don't want as they don't want to do what's best for them in the long run but rather pursue their selfish,carnal natures.

..

May Came and Went...

2011-06-06T02:11:00.000-04:00

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To the Editor:

May was and is Mental Health Awareness Month yet this year May came and went in Columbia-Greene counties with no mention of Mental Health,except at (MHA) Mental Health Association who had an open house here in Hudson. In past years there have been 'Out of the Darkness' marches both in Hudson and Catskill to remember those lives lost to this devastating illness and it's impact on those families and friends left behind. It seems like most things unless it touches us in some way personally,we can turn a blind eye to it. I believe Mental and emotional illnesses touch everyone's lives in some way. Many Americans lose days at work due to their emotional state of mind which costs companies money. The government has had to pay a heavy price financially to support many who can't work as the 'system' as it is called, is very flawed and would rather put a bandaid on the problem rather than treat it. They are penalized if try to work as government takes half of check. Where's the incentive in that? This is not to say that people don't go to therapy and take the medication to be some what stable. Unfortunately this is not enough. Many live on the fringes of society or are recluses in their homes as they fear the public and visa versa. 'That which we don't understand we fear'. How do you get to know a person? Simple. You talk to them. Everyone has a story. If we can identify with one another and drop the judgement as none of us are better than another,we would see how similar we are. I suppose that is what frightens us is that it could happen to us. People with mental challenges need to be assimilated into society. Companies need to become willing to hire those with disabilities and let them do something. They can't be expected to do what someone who doesn't have this can. I believe before people come to the job,the company needs to provide it's employees with training on mental health illnesses,thinking,feeling,behavior so that they can work with them. Ex. Someone may have problems with concentration or memory so it is better if things be written down for them on a post it like 'need 5 copies'. I believe there is a solution if we are willing to look for one. Obama wants the unemployment rate cut. The state and country are broke. Social security and Medicare are threatened. I say the party is over. Was it such a party anyway? Unlike what many Americans who have to work every day,believe,many of those on the government rolls are hanging on by a thread and not living high on the hog. Granted there are some who play the system and have some illegal family business going on to which even it's children are a part of as are born into it. For many though I believe, if they could get help finding a job they could do and get the proper training and support to keep it and work with them and bosses should any confllict come up on job,they would gladly work. This will not happen in a day as from being out of work years,many have developed poor habits,let alone having a good work ethic. For some,a job full time is not reasonable as their functioning level is not high enough to cope. Perhaps working part time or volunteering is the answer. I believe everyone who is unemployed should be contacted and worked with so that they can serve society in some capacity as this develops self esteem and makes our country stronger by having people in it who are happier and a part of this country they inhabit rather than existing leading mundane,meaningless lives. Many were abused as children and are still as adults as are easy targets to bullies anyone who just wants to make a pot shot at them. When did this become ok? The reality is they are more often the victims of crime and are taken advantage of as are gullible,trusting,passive and are often alone as ARE FRIENDLESS.

Many of us have family members who suffer from depression,anxiety,panic attacks,phobias. In fact 1 in 4 Americans will have a mental illness at some point in their lives. 1 in 10 young people between the ages of 13 and 25 have a mental illness. The suicide rate is growing amongst our teens and returning military who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, at an alarming rate. Many service men and women have head injuries. This too is not easily understood as they bring on changes in mood,behavior such as anger outbursts,low frustration tolerance,depression,feeling overwhelmed. What was easy to do such as do several things in a day, is now difficult. Perhaps they can only do the laundry, in time. It is important that those with any mental health challenge, whether it be mild head injury,emotional illness(which are learned patterns of behavior based on one's environment),mental illness(which runs in families so there are some genetic reasons for this biochemically,is often caused by abuse and neglect as children or some traumatic event such as being a crime victim or hurt by domestic violence),developmental delays,autism,etc. )not compare themselves with those who don't . The same could be said of society who can be often very cruel to these people. Notice I say people as they too feel pain,are someone's sister,brother,daughter,son,friend. For many sadly, their families and friends have rejected them as they don't understand them. They can't relate to how they think and it does get 'old' and frustrating very quickly. Many can be dependent on families both financially and emotionally and the family member can get sucked in. This is called codependence. A similar pattern happens with those who have chemical dependencies. A triangle is played out where each person is either the victim,persecutor or rescuer.

Mental illness like addiction is a family illness. It is very treatable and many can lead satisfying,autonomous lives. Some even have families of their own. These are the fortunate ones. So many are not. These we see in our jails,homeless living in the streets and shelters,are part of the sex industry,are involved with selling drugs,hooked on drugs or drink or dead at their own hands or the hand of another.

I think May should not be the only day we address mental illness in this country or when a Columbine happens at our schools often due to bullying from other students and victimizing another student so he comes in with a gun. When someone jumps off the Rip Van Winkle bridge,like what happened last year we say”he had a history of mental illness' like it's an explanation and somehow ok and not worth worrying about as it's not someone we knew. N oone was born this way. These illnesses don't usually show themselves until someone is between 16 and 18. The individual is often shy and sensitive. The answer perhaps is to incorporate into therapy not to take what others say and do personally as is how we are. We have become an extremely rude,crude,inconsiderate ,angry and mean-spirited society. Ask anyone who serves the public and they will say that they can't stand people and when they go home they want to be alone. This is sad as many of us have jobs and don't want to be treated like this. If it's hard for us out there,can you imagine how hard it is for someone with a disability? Do you think these tormented souls need your wrath,ridicule,stupidity and disdain hurled at them because you are miserable? How hard would it be to smile or say hello when someone says hello to you? If you don't perhaps it's your problem more than theirs. Maybe you need to look at yourself.

Cairo is where the mental health clinic is. It serves many people in this community,especially low income individuals trying to deal with the stress of their lives. It is in an old building shared by some other offices including HUD,case management for those with mental illness who need someone to visit them weekly in their homes or take them somewhere. These people also advocate for those who have trouble doing so so that they get benefits like Social Security,HEAP,etc. Perhaps they help if person is having a housing conflict with a neighbor or landlord. The sheriff also is in this building right off the waiting room behind a dark partition watching you when you. If your not paranoid coming in you sure are when you leave. Though so many people come to this clinic, don't be looking for a new building to be built anytime soon as this is not the priority here. Having a library overall apparently is going to bring people to a town where the village looks like a ghost town of empty store fronts as most people have no money. The unemployment rate is staggering and there is a rift between the classes as wide as the bridge that separates Hudson from it. The officials of the town only care about the ones they can relate to who are doing ok. Forget about those who are living in an unweatherized cottage with their pets because they have nowhere else to go and no one to help them get there. That is their problem they say. They brought it on them selves.Many oft them would tell you that they are good ol' Christians as they attend mass on Sundays to ease their consciences. A small group of people run this town and don't welcome outsiders and any new ideas they may have. They think if it aint broken why fix it. Unfortunately it is very broken. The only thing good about Cairo is it does have some stores one can walk to,hAS A NICE pARK AND HAS SOME EVENTS IN IT LIKE SOME FAIRS. The rest of the year it is dead as a door nail. When you walk down the street be prepared to be ignored or talked about unless you fit in with their way of thinking. I think building a new library is fine,just not an expensive one. We need better transportation more so people could look,get work out of this area like in Albany,Kingston, I think they should be given money for bus fare too.

This area (Columbia Greene county) has a reputation for having horrible mental health services. We are told to be grateful not in some third world country and that we get any at all, when in fact the USA is becoming more and more like one. One can only see therapist every other week. Larger cities like Albany,White Plains have compeers(regular people in the community who volunteer their time to do something weekly with the outcasts amongst us). Perhaps taking a walk together or having a cup of jo' is what will help. One doesn't always need a pill but that is what the doctors like to give you as is easier and quicker as they send you on your way.
Also having a care line(run by volunteers for when people call in and are in pain in between appointments and is not an emergency) would be helpful. Also a support group one could go to weekly to just check in and touch base in between appointments would be good too.

Learning to advocate for and assert yourself is key here. Similar to how AA works, one who has gotten better,helping another, is the answer here. Who cares more than those who have these issues and can relate as having dealt with them. Many are empowering themselves and have become better for the struggle as they can help another as they are miracles and survivors. There is no shame in this. We did not cause this it's about taking responsibility for ourselves and being the best we can be and taking care of us. I have participated in the empowerment movement with organizations like (NYAP RS) NY Association for Rehabilitative Svcs., by writing to and meeting with legislators,marching at the capital to pass the parity bill (so people get therapy,doctor visits and medication paid by their job's insurance like any other physical condition as it is one.) There is an imbalance of serotonin in the brain that can cause one to feel depressed. The same is true of schizophrenia(physical causes),anxiety,etc. Why then should people be penalized when they act nervous,sad,etc.?

An organization called Active Minds is working with many students who have illnesses on college campuses so that they feel comfortable to get help. They are telling,sharing their stories to help erase the stigma associated with this illness. NAMI, National Association for the mentally Ill has educated the public on these illnesses,Patty Duke,Morley Safer,Catherine Zeta Jones,Linda Hamilton have helped put a face on mental illness by coming out and sharing they have it and live with,manage it. Hospitals no longer keep patients locked up but release them after a week when the insurance runs out. It costs about $600/day to kee someone in a hospital so it is more cost effective to send them home.

We have come a long way since the days when people were locked up and treated in their filth by doctors up until the 30's,forced (ECT)electric shock therapy to treat depression in the 40's,atrociities exposed by Meredith Viera at an institution in NJ years ago when she was with 20/20,concerning Willowbrook, in the 70's,potrayals in movies like 'One flew over the Cookoo's Nest',the emptying of instutions in the50's, 60's to the streets with no after care,the actions of Rudolf Guliani to hide the homeless and get them out of Grand Central Station so regular folks didn't have to be harrassed by pan handlers when they bought train tickets or when politicians came to town in the 80's. Many ended up going underground and live actually below NYC in tunnels or can be seen keeping themselves warm huddled around burning metal garbage pails. The bottle bill helped many and saved lives as it gave those addicted a way to buy their drug or drink without hitting someone over the head for some money to do it. There are some advocates who work with the homeless and try to get them their benefits,into housing,drug,alcohol treatment,therapy,medication denied them as they have no address or they are too sick to get them themselves as they don't stay on the medication. Medication and advances in therapies and knowledge about these disorders has helped improve the lives of many.

I believe we are not too far off before we find a genetic gene for this and it can be prevented. Already some are getting what is like a pace maker, put in their necks to give a shock to the brain to stimulate it to help with resistant depression that different drugs haven't helped. There is some risk here though. PET scans of the brain actually show a difference in how a person with depression's brain functions vs. a healthy persons in that certain areas are more active and a different size than in the depressed person's.

People with mental illness are perhaps the most courageous,misunderstood,maligned people you ever will meet.We are far from weak but have great inner strength to endure like Auschwitz victims in this society being treating worse than criminals as 5h class citiens. It is not easy to walk outside when your mind is telling you many are laughing,talking about you and some are. Being by oneself 90% of the time because no one wants to spend time with you even when you try to be friendly,ask them if they want to do something,like the therapist suggests,is not pleasant. Is what mental illness is. Is a distorted view of reality and the world. The irony is that society has a misconception of this too. Self help books like Feeling Good can help one see when their thinking is stinking but it is not the end all and be all. Many have a psychiatric service animal like a dog which people don't understand and try to make you feel weird about, to help them with their symptoms. For many depressed people,their only friend is their pet. Is there any wonder why they stay depressed in such an oppressive society? We are told not to carry the suitcases of our pasts and troubles with us and live one day at a time in the now when the now is pretty crumby, the way it is and the future is far from bright. Is very sad when so many of us are intelligent,creative people with a lot to offer the world.

-Ann Reilly

Mental health takes center stage

2011-05-20T20:29:00.000-04:00

Mental health takes center stage

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I thought you'd find it interesting,especially the number of people with disorders and growing. Is important to get treatment yes but is also important to take the shame out of doing so and about having problems mentally. I know I tried to kick this myself in college as counseling center was in campus Hub and didn't want anyone to see me going there. I was embarrassed and also ignorant of what I had and why (due to abuse and neglect as a child,bullying and rejection from peers,being a crime victim). I thought I could just feel better if I faked it til made it. It didn't work as effected my functioning,even sleep patterns,was hard to concentrate with all the thoughts in my head,hard to recall things to learn,felt confused,lost and alone. Didn't see others going thru this as judged my insides against their outsides. Some just hide it better and seem to know how to mix with others to fit in and keep it to selves.

I had pastoral counseling from in my senior year of high school so could graduate despite moods. My grades had slumped. I felt though I could participate in class discussions by just sharing my thought and following discussions, I had a hard time learning anything for reasons mentioned earlier. I also didn't do much of my home work unless teacher really riled me into it. Mom threatened to send me to public school if didn't shape up. i didn't understand why I suddenly didn't want to do anything. I certainly didn't know it was physical due to chemical imbalance of serotonin in my brain. I also was shy but self out there as had to so was very nervous,awkward. Still am though I know they are just people. Some people are just plain mean but is their problem. I choose to ignore,avoid and not talk to them. If have to deal with them I don't personalize what they do or say. Just the way they are. I have some people around where I live like that. Is their problem as they lack compassion,are judgemental,angry as doing work hate and see me hanging around in yard even though have disabilities. Say something I can do. Will add on that another day as we know system is flawed..They don't see how fortunate they are that they can sustain employment. They make comments within ear shot about me. I have God though.l What do they have? Just themselves. I wouldn't want to live that way or be them. I try to keep the focus on me and not let it get to me eventhough they can't mind their business. I choose not to get angry about it. The Lord will take care of them. and I pray for them too.

I went to church last night and joined with other believers. Had dinner there too. Had a nice time singing,praising and thanking the Lord too. I use it like a support group as don't have one but a mental health chat which is not the same.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

2011-05-17T19:13:00.003-04:00

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This applies to all of us folks and not just those suffering with emotional illness and addiction due to abuse and the behaviors that go along with it like stealing,lying,manipulation,job instability,violence and so on. Keeping ourselves on the beam so to speak is very important. It is vital that we know what our priorities are,that we surround ourselves with supportive,healthy people and choose jobs that are fulfilling to us and where we are appreciated for what we contribute by not just a pay check. If we can't find joy in what we do career wise then it is essential we do somewhere or we will be lost. Perhaps volunteering is the answer. Maybe joining an organization whose mission you too share like being green,saving animals,advocating for abused kids,elderly,those with disabilities. I don't know. It's different for everyone. When you find yourself at a point in your life like you don't want to get up in the morning,nothing excites you,family or person(s) close to you are not enough or are getting to YOU, it's time to look at what is really going on here. If honest, you will see what is needed is that you make a change in your life and the direction it is going. Don't settle for less as it will effect all areas of your life.Be courageous and live your life and do what you are being called to do. Listen to that little voice in you telling you what you need to do,what you are here to do. Don't shrink from that call but boldly follow it. You won't regret it. It is then that you will be living and not just existing.

We probably have been hearing that voice a long time but we didn't follow it out of fear of what we might have to do or give u to achieve it.

Hi. I am Back

2011-05-16T22:48:00.004-04:00

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Well alot has been going on since I blogged last. Yes I found housing. Is ok. Not great but I manage. I have 1 1/2 bed room cottage. I moved in in July. Is unweatherized so rough in winter but I managed as I put plastic over windows,have rugs on floors,heavy curtain over door at night. January and February heat bill high as use propane.

I did not have internet and just used library pc where got booted off in a half hour so didn't write here. I also needed space and time as a 15 year relationship was in ended. We still chat on line occasionally by email and he gives cat support as two of his cats here. We had had eight. One was adopted,one at no kill shelter sadly,two he had at lace we shared and supposedly they were put in shelter. Pray they are well. All can do. Other four with me and my dog. We are well. We had a codependent relationship as we both have some addictions and some emotional challenges.

I did flea markets during summer for money with jewelry I make and will again this summer. Memorial day right around the corner.

My mom was ill since December of last year again until recently. I put her in nursing home. Now she is in a better one near me and I visit her weekly. She is mentally well tho mostly in wheel chair sadly. She is 91 though and I am grateful still have her. I am able to give back to her what did for me.

I joined a church and have become born again Christian. They have been very supportive of me especially when mom took ill. Pet sat even. I have some new sisters in Christ now as not close to one have.

Well that's about it. If care to comment on anything I mentioned please do. Maybe about relationships,faith,aging parents,how you save money and are surviving in this bad economy,
Mental Health Hope Chat

I am Taking Time OFf From Bloggging...

2010-06-05T12:45:00.002-04:00

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for this blog,Animals Large and Small,Green is not a 4 letter word and Frugal is not Cheap. I need to find housing and my days are consumed with this endeavor. I shall return, God willing when things calm down a bit. Happy Summer.

Snow Today and It's Almost May..

2010-04-28T06:05:00.001-04:00

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Yes it went down to the 30's last night here in Upstate NY, when it was 80 last week! Nuts.

On another crazy note..I will be moving again as my landlord is nutty,stupid,crazy and mean. After I moved the rest of my belongings in and after being at my new place for 2 months already, she informed me that she wanted me out. Her reason was I had too many belongings. She didn't even give me time to put them away. If I had the place would have been neater,cleaner and uncluttered. I even offered to get a shed to put some things in or a storage site which I did but no dice. I just spent money on phone and cable installation and moving and now had to rent a truck again to put my stuff in storage and rent a storage site too.

I am finding it hard what with pets to find anything decent. I also want a 1 BR apt/cottage for just me and my pets as my roomie is nutty,stupid,inconsiderate,sloppy,dirty,rude,etc. and I have had enough. I really tried to hang in there with him but I woke up to my coffee maker being destrroyed after he started a fire last night while he was cooking and lied to me about it as when I said I smelled something burning in the next room, he assured me all was well. This after he got in an accident with the truck rental and scraped the top fat a gas station awning, while I waited for him and a neighbor who was helping with the move, for two hours in a storage locker,freezing! I am tired of not knowing what he will do next and am sick of the insanity of him,my neighbors and my landlord. I am done.

This morning I responded to an ad for a caretaker in exchange for room and board as said pets ok, as I need to tak care of my mom to get her out of nursing home. She will have an aide for 4 hours daily and I could be helping the man who is a quadraplegic, then and watching my pets. I know it sounds like alot but rents are high in Westchester and my options are few. I am hoping my my will improve so I can get my own place with a subsidy toward rent for disabled like myself so this is temporary, I hope. Keep you posted..

First the Blizzard, the Car Crash and then Bubonic Pl;ague..

2010-03-13T12:56:00.002-05:00

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We got a lot of snow here in the Catskills of upstate NY as yo may know. Our car crashed off the road in deep snow and was damaged and then I got real sick and now am better,thankfully.

Super is Installing My Hot Water Heater as I Speak..

2010-02-06T11:37:00.008-05:00

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finally..Yes I am getting a smaller,brand new heater. Should be more cost efficient as well. Yesterday was pretty ugly as landlord came over demanding the rent but I told him he would not get it until he did repairs and only then would he get it minus deductions from days we went inconvenienced. This angered him causing me to call authorities on him. Don't think we will be seein him again at my door anytime soon,lol..Interim the rent money is safely tucked away in the bank and the note to the landlord from the bank is taped to my door,. He removed the last one I had for him stating that I would be deducting for days went without and he should have received the letter from the courts stating he has a court date with me regarding a rent reduction due to place being below the accessed value due to repairs not being made in a timely manner. I think in this case and all cases it is significant to establish a paper trail and to contact the proper authorities like the sheriff,town officials,code enforcement,social services and so forth to show good faith in that I tried to get things fixed and was willing to pay rent after so I don't appear in the wrong and a deadbeat tenant. This will all help my case, :).

LOST is back..

2010-02-04T17:31:00.002-05:00

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LOST is back! Yeh!! I watched part one and now am watching part two on the computer at the public library in my town of Cairo,NY. Seems as if there is a parallel universe or dual happenings going on in that in one version it didn't work by that I mean the bombing of th island's core. In the other it did and they land without crashing only not to meet each other,supposedly thus changing their realities. So far Kate met Sawyer regardless.
Is pretty good so far..

Still no hot Water so am going to sue landlord for rent reduction in Small Claims..

2010-02-02T11:37:00.005-05:00

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court. Super came by today to measure hot water heater and said we would maybe have a new one Thursday, while I was pouring hot water I heated on the stove over the dishes in the sink. I am totally disgusted and sickened literally by this situation. I think it is inexcusable to expent rent when one doesn't supply the bare essentials of habitability to their tenants. what do you think? I have been looking but it is hard to find anything affordable and adequate.

No hot water at my home now for 4 days..

2010-01-26T13:00:00.006-05:00

with no relief in sight. Broken hot water heater and the landlord and super know about it and don't seem to care..landlord is jOhn Cass on County Route 85 in Cairo,a slum lord..Was told by super first that he would price a new one and now he says he will vacuum the old one and see how it goes..but to be patient as he is moving. I said I can be patient but it seems that the landlord appears the firs to the month for the whole rent regardless of the fac that the place is up to par or not which is not fair. Front door is damaged and you have to slam it har t o shut it and the heat goes out the sides and drafty. Frig. door is equally damaged and again you need to slam it whiile the cold air goes out the bottom..The oven doesn't work and we wnet a week with no heat,hot water or cooking fuel when the pipes froze and the furnace broke too..We have no screens in the windows nor storm windows and so on...need I really say more!? Seems to be a common trend with the slumlords in beautiful down town Cairo,Ny and the building dept. does nothing.

When Going off Prescription Psychiatric Medicine Beware..

2010-01-21T18:51:00.012-05:00

of gaining weight!

I had lost alot of weight, if you recall from past posts. I was once 244 lbs but for a short time, til I rediscovered that I needed to watch what I was putting in my mouth..Mostly I was 200 lbs but that was bad too. I had dropped down to 153 lbs. through juicing without dieting or exercising but gained alot of it back when I moved into my cottage before the one I am in now. I had attributed to the fact that I was not as active but now come to think of it the real reason had to do with the fact that I am no longer on prescription psychiatric meds(although my roomie thinks I should be but that is debatatable). I was on Depakote and it acts like a physic or rather it gives you and upset stomach and can cause loose bowel movements that resemble diarrhea. Nice huh? Anyways..

I am back to juicing again..I have not lost any weight but on a positive note, I have not gained any either. this I attribute largely to the fact that I have not put down the chocolate chip cookies yet. I am eating them not because I crave sweets(juicing is supposed to help with the salty and sugary cravings) but because I am used to eating them. Ugh..I still am eating alot of salty snacks too like chips which doesn't help either. All things in due time though..I am having frequent bowel movements and I notice the odor of my stool which had been acidic (as I drink alot of coffee and grapefruit)is not as bad either. I still get heartburn but I hear that should improve also in time. My friend has a juicing cassette that he listens to so we do learn alot about it and the benefits of juicing certain veggies and fruits. He got the tape with the juicer.

I will keep you abreast of my weight loss success folks..

I am officially out of my last home as of today...

2009-12-02T11:36:00.011-05:00

I am glad to be gone. The sheriff department came out Monday to make sure I took whatever was left in the cottage out. He said if I didn't remove my damaged property from the front lawn, that I would be arrested. How nuts! Can they do that? I don't know. I need to consult with my attorney that has been helping me with my case from Legal Aid. Who should be arrested is my previous landlord who rents a property taht is but a summer cabin, year-round. How is that right?! Anyway, I was kind enough to sweep through the place ane my friend cleane the oven and I wiped down and emptied the frig. but was he happy/ No! Perry Holst, the slumlord and landlord "you call that clean? you are such a fuckin slob!" He said this right in front of the sheriff who said nothing but warned me when I was obnoxious to the landlord as I dropped his keys on the ground in front of him instead of hand them to him as I wanted no contact or to show him any respect. Another slumlord alert link is here in Albany. Another one is on craiglist for middletown,NY. Another article on Slumlords can be found here, but in this case it is from the landlord,stating why he and his wife plan on becoming slumlords after being kind landlords who rented to people or tenants who in their opinion took advantage of them including one they couldn't even evict after 6 months of trying. I'd just like to say that this sounds odd and extreme as 3 months is the maximum time allowed to evict someone.
NYC slumlord info is here. Article called 'My brother the slumlord' is here which offers another interesting slant on this issue.
Lots of info on slumlords here on the Golden Cockroach page. ha..Another post on slumlords is on Slumlord Interactive.

For more on tenant rights and evictions, read here. More info here on proper procedure for eviction. New landlord told me to remove anything by the front door as I was moving it in. He said the town would fine him. Is common to have things outside the door when moving it in on my planet which is earth. It is all removed now though. Happy house hunting and renting all!