tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38065433864477609982024-08-29T17:48:26.286-07:00Мир СмехаAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.comBlogger165125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-57092280504364365472014-11-21T10:22:00.005-08:002014-11-21T10:22:59.077-08:00Funniest Pranks 2014 :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/1eyXZI-9lWQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/7m8QtGvq14s?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/1eyXZI-9lWQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/1eyXZI-9lWQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/1eyXZI-9lWQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/1eyXZI-9lWQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/1eyXZI-9lWQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/1eyXZI-9lWQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/1eyXZI-9lWQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-12001256146286614512014-09-27T04:57:00.001-07:002014-09-27T04:59:00.389-07:00Улетное видео по-русски <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/e_oW-GM3Omo/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/e_oW-GM3Omo&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="620" height="466" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/e_oW-GM3Omo&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/STh6wv0Brxk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/yOgv9kZ7RY4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/yOgv9kZ7RY4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Knvld0TOmUU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/h9Ik2L0M_eY/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/h9Ik2L0M_eY&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="620" height="466" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/h9Ik2L0M_eY&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div> <br /> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-15674706904198019602014-09-14T00:07:00.000-07:002014-09-14T00:07:00.968-07:00Поляк и немцы: сложности перевода<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/STh6wv0Brxk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-75882841672374215532014-09-04T23:48:00.000-07:002014-09-04T23:54:49.230-07:00Приколы 2014 сентябрь<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><a href="http://chatilka.blogspot.com/">Реал видео чат</a> </span></span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> &nbsp; <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <blockquote> </blockquote> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-67222378808725900062014-08-30T23:08:00.001-07:002014-08-30T23:08:09.329-07:00very funny arabic jokes <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-27588602450654039832014-08-22T01:32:00.000-07:002014-08-22T02:11:51.183-07:00Анекдоты / Свежие анекдоты Улыбайтесь и наслаждайтесь <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <blockquote>Парень с похмелья, еще и на отцовской машине едет за пивом, по закону подлости нарывается на гаишников и улепетывает от них. Они за ним. Доехал до дома, забегает в квартиру, рассказывает отцу ситуацию. Отец выбегает на улицу и говорит: — Б%я, мужики, ну не мог я никак тормознуть, обосрался бы!</blockquote><br /> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <br /> Сидят мужики спорят что же самое быстрое в жизни: 1-й...Самое быстрое это слово, только сказал, а его уже услышали... 2-й...Нет, самое быстрое это электричество. Щелкнул выключатель, свет моментально зажегся, щелкнул тут же второй раз, он выключился... 3-й...Да нет мужики фигня это все. Самое быстрое это понос. Я вот вчера ни слово не успел сказать ни свет включить...<br /> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <a href="http://chatilka.blogspot.com"> <Чат> </a> <br /> <br /> Мужик в маршрутке громко портит воздух и говорит рядом стоящему мальчику:<br /> — Такой маленький, а пукаешь как слон.<br /> Рядом стоящая женщина говорит:<br /> — Мужчина, но, ведь это вы сделали!<br /> — Ты смотри какая, я ее отмазываю, а она еще стрелки переводит!<br /> <br /> <br /> Блондинка приходит в самолет, занимает место у окна. К ней подходит мужчина и говорит: &nbsp; — Девушка пройдите на свое место. Блондинка отвечает: — Мне и тут хорошо. Мужчина: — Ну тогда бери штурвал и взлетай.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Приходит мужик на работу с фингалом, его коллеги спашиваю анекдотов.nеt — Откуда Фингал-то? — Да, вчера на рынок ходил, и смотрю, передо мной женщина идет, толстая такая. И у нее попа платье зажевала... Ну, мне неудобно стало, я и вытащил... Проходит, неделя, фингал уже спал. А в понедельник он опять с фингалом идет. Ну, коллеги его опять спарашивают. — А теперь -то че с другим глазом? — Да, таже история. Идем с другом по рынку, видим, опять эта толстая женщина идет впереди. И у нее опять попа платье зажевала... Ну, моему другу не удобно стало, он взял и вытащил. А я обратно засунул, и сказал, что она так НЕ ЛЮБИТ...<br /> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Сидит психиатр (П) у себя в кабинете — скучает...... пациенты не идут. Тут тихонько так приоткрывается дверь и к нему на карачках заползает человек (Ч) сжимая что-то в зубах, руках и т.д. плюс что-то еще волочится сзади. П: — Ой кто это к нам тут ползет!!! Это наверное маленькая змейка. Заползай змейка, заползай маленькая, доктор тебе поможет. Человек отрицательно машет головой. П: — А-А-А. это наверное черепашка к нам в гости пожаловала. Заползай черепашка в кресло и расскажи дяде доктору что с тобой случилось.... Человек отрицательно машет головой. П: Так кто же это у нас — наверное маленький червячок ????? Ч: МЛЯ, ДОКТОР! Я ВАМ СЕТЬ ПРОКЛАДЫВАЮ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br /> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Новый русский подарил своему сыну на пятилетие сотовый телефон. — Сынок, если че случитья — звони, все уладим. На следующий день не успев зайти в офис. Секретарша: — Шеф, ваш сын звонит. — Да сынок, что случилось? — Папа, наша собака насрала на мамин любимый ковер. Что делать? — Берешь веник и совок, подметаешь и в урну, понял? — Понял. — И больше по таким пустякам не звони. Проходит 5 минут. — Шеф, Ваш сын опять звонит. — Да сынок, что случилось? — Папа, к нам пришел сосед, они с мамой закрылись в вашей спальне и он снимает штаны. Если он насрет — я убирать не<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Браток в ресторане обращается к официанту:<br /> — Слышь, соль принеси!<br /> — Вам какую?<br /> — А что, разные есть?<br /> — Да, есть "что-за-х%йня" и "ни-х%я-себе"<br /> — Хм. Давай обе тащи, разберемся. .<br /> Официант приносит две солонки. Браток берет одну, переворачивает, трясет... оттуда ни крупинки не выпадает. Браток:<br /> — Да что за х%йня!<br /> Берет другую, переворачивает, крышечка солонки отваливается и вся соль высыпается в тарелку. Браток:<br /> — Ну ни х%я себе... .<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> На посту ГАИ останавливают машину и осматривают багажник.<br /> В багажнике — 10 огромных ножей.<br /> Гаишник: — Зачем вам столько холодного оружия?<br /> Водитель: — Я жонглер, работаю в цирке, жонглирую ножами.<br /> Гаишник: — Не верю, ну-ка покажите.<br /> Водитель стоит на обочине дороги и жонглирует ножами.<br /> В проезжающей мимо машине водитель говорит жене:<br /> — Слава богу, я пить бросил. Смотри, какие тесты выдумали!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-82616157845596229102014-07-15T00:35:00.001-07:002014-07-15T00:35:09.040-07:00Funny Pranks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/RMxshne1gwY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/sbVEgpCON1U?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/g2ycNfwDIQA?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/lBRiH5KpWlg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/2KGJaKExDDc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/5OTIAuOIY2Q?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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text-align: center;"> <object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/gHOtGtY__-g/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/gHOtGtY__-g&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="620" height="466" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/gHOtGtY__-g&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/afoY61W9bH4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/sbVEgpCON1U?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-85330777272029830342014-03-07T13:02:00.000-08:002014-08-22T01:49:14.648-07:00Смешные поздравления с 8 марта <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFTNDF1Sr-4CiHV9G7MM6nbmFPQtXAumvjsX5zcuI6ptIEmK9tm7LxYeRL4xnJYtsktObEqfPgxR86QZIsfecjNNi7eW-CKMDg21fx-7W-0c49jmf6Ppz1uK8f4SZCVktpn2XkK_IIATTU/s1600/1735_s_8_marta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFTNDF1Sr-4CiHV9G7MM6nbmFPQtXAumvjsX5zcuI6ptIEmK9tm7LxYeRL4xnJYtsktObEqfPgxR86QZIsfecjNNi7eW-CKMDg21fx-7W-0c49jmf6Ppz1uK8f4SZCVktpn2XkK_IIATTU/s1600/1735_s_8_marta.jpg" height="400" width="358" /></a></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/pklibETid1E?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMLeA9uDCiwE1HeTJ947JErx0XSgUYxhJLuHhpCxzOvyhS8uuLUZAk1V-AG1vQdWFNPXWpVChrx6O1cl5sTorxHTkqb-Z7Sya6riQUCawUEY-jhcOgDP2tSyRZmHEIhvIWS-N41jQ-PD3/s1600/8_marta_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMLeA9uDCiwE1HeTJ947JErx0XSgUYxhJLuHhpCxzOvyhS8uuLUZAk1V-AG1vQdWFNPXWpVChrx6O1cl5sTorxHTkqb-Z7Sya6riQUCawUEY-jhcOgDP2tSyRZmHEIhvIWS-N41jQ-PD3/s1600/8_marta_01.jpg" height="235" width="400" /></a></b></div> <br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-40634877447166285562014-02-24T08:27:00.002-08:002014-02-24T08:47:28.387-08:00 Самые новые угарные приколы за Февраль :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> &nbsp;<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxoz5_-4Va5n7OOAdXqY7zFkiwYFILJDZzhPQjmzstBNkeF-BmUN7H7CgyU6A48-ZgR4kizxz0GgwENYVn5TzurE4BqPjf1prLSw3qbfM9SWTuIPoXWoDdGzm3nT6BG6r4-BHZhuYVnp1Y/s1600/1298454690_347437.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxoz5_-4Va5n7OOAdXqY7zFkiwYFILJDZzhPQjmzstBNkeF-BmUN7H7CgyU6A48-ZgR4kizxz0GgwENYVn5TzurE4BqPjf1prLSw3qbfM9SWTuIPoXWoDdGzm3nT6BG6r4-BHZhuYVnp1Y/s1600/1298454690_347437.png" height="51" width="320" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> &nbsp;<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/n2yo_oj2BNw/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/n2yo_oj2BNw&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="620" height="466" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/n2yo_oj2BNw&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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text-align: center;"> <object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/jnrDe_IpuZU/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/jnrDe_IpuZU&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="620" height="466" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/jnrDe_IpuZU&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/38S2FYmB6zY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/mzpQrIkqN2I?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/fwWD-hsQckg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/8zmd0H2TeGA?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/V5M3RGm-Yd4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/EDv5C1lh3ZQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> <br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-38745036690782915382014-02-24T07:32:00.002-08:002014-02-24T08:03:16.556-08:00Вот как надо отвечать бывшим :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/9Zcj_0X7JjQ/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/9Zcj_0X7JjQ&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="620" height="466" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/9Zcj_0X7JjQ&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div> <br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-36096216337507834932014-02-05T16:58:00.004-08:002014-02-05T16:58:26.395-08:00Лучшие анекдоты, ржачные анекдоты, угарные анекдоты: 2014Пьяный ковбой заходит в переполненный салун и, размахивая кольтом, кричит: «Признавайтесь, кто из вас переспал с моей женой, пока я пас ваших коров, пристрелю каждого!» Все пытаются спрятаться под столы, а бармен тихо спрашивает: «A патронов-то у тебя хватит?»<br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> &nbsp;<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFLyxnlI2qnuKZS3DoIySxG9fgraowEcbWebe3yWBb3cBbFyH27M5KBoal0Kpfn9D8JJESSYWId5HLbDNk_mc1CUptUJY57ICuFQcHj66OLaCyhsc9wcSnZe3LmqtBRdxnYsy8WnKqKKtJ/s1600/icon_popo_emoticon_by_rokey_2_19.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFLyxnlI2qnuKZS3DoIySxG9fgraowEcbWebe3yWBb3cBbFyH27M5KBoal0Kpfn9D8JJESSYWId5HLbDNk_mc1CUptUJY57ICuFQcHj66OLaCyhsc9wcSnZe3LmqtBRdxnYsy8WnKqKKtJ/s1600/icon_popo_emoticon_by_rokey_2_19.gif" height="320" width="320" /></a></div> - Скажите, вы вписываетесь в социальную норму на свет 200 киловатт-часов?<br />- Угу.<br />- А вот в вашем регионе норма 100, и как?<br />- Запросто.<br />- А у вас вообще 50, и что, тоже никаких проблем?<br />- 50 уже хуже, конечно. Можно случайно отмотать счетчик в минус.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> &nbsp;<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1fyUef0JPz4Qr5g44iJGZU8A_zHArPeHDpBCS2FfLi4K9es8Ql8dHaam5gCtKX555yQKDUFZ8xSpVPQAd-wcgUSfJ4BiFOQpJfFhWLicNH_L2DfXBFkWFq7EoZvrwOZzUdri6mNvhETQk/s1600/mrpimpgoodgame01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1fyUef0JPz4Qr5g44iJGZU8A_zHArPeHDpBCS2FfLi4K9es8Ql8dHaam5gCtKX555yQKDUFZ8xSpVPQAd-wcgUSfJ4BiFOQpJfFhWLicNH_L2DfXBFkWFq7EoZvrwOZzUdri6mNvhETQk/s1600/mrpimpgoodgame01.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> - Я тебя люблю!<br /> - Докажи!<br /> - Как?<br /> - Крикни, что любишь, чтобы в мире все услышали.<br />Он тихо подошёл и шепнул ей на ушко:<br /> - Я тебя люблю...<br /> - Почему так тихо и почему на ушко?<br /> - Потому что весь мир для меня - это ты.<br /> <br /> <br /> &nbsp;<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguaq2J6uRqaA4q-IiUa-fb1PFgAE8ZgYPwIltUmJOXSiR5FfA15LgtsmYhRNO2_LcjpoDJhAG4K7uHj1uhpctOk6gXlgQXUo-9J9DaocYGjJJYNidQZdEk5RrKkyGMqgz-yn0yXF9ZFqCg/s1600/qqqqqqqqq.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguaq2J6uRqaA4q-IiUa-fb1PFgAE8ZgYPwIltUmJOXSiR5FfA15LgtsmYhRNO2_LcjpoDJhAG4K7uHj1uhpctOk6gXlgQXUo-9J9DaocYGjJJYNidQZdEk5RrKkyGMqgz-yn0yXF9ZFqCg/s1600/qqqqqqqqq.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a><br /> <i><table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="1" class="eBlock" style="width: 100%px;"><tbody> <tr><td width="90%"></td></tr> <tr><td class="eMessage"><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"></a> <div class="newarial"> <div> <div> 1. Вы подсаживаете в свою машину случайную попутчицу - красивую девицу, сигналившую у дороги. Девица внезапно падает в обморок. Вы везете ее в больницу. Это стресс.&nbsp;</div> <div> <span style="font-size: 8pt;">2. В больнице вам говорят, что она беременна и поздравляют с будущим отцовством. . Вы объясняете, что впервые увидели ее час назад, но она настаивает на том, что отец именно вы. Это большой стресс.&nbsp;</span></div> <div> <span style="font-size: 8pt;">3. Вы требуете взять анализ ДНК на отцовство. Его берут. Врач отзывает вас в сторону и сообщает, что вы не можете быть отцом, т. к. генетически бесплодны. Эта новость вызывает стресс, смешанный с облегчением.&nbsp;</span></div> <div> <span style="font-size: 8pt;">4. По дороге домой вы вспоминаете, что у вас трое детей. ВОТ ТУТ ВЫ ИСПЫТЫВАЕТЕ НАСТОЯЩИЙ СТРЕСC</span></div> <div> ***</div> <div> &nbsp;<img align="" alt="" src="http://zapros.my1.ru/_nw/22/55327472.png" style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /></div> <div> Она:&nbsp;</div> <div> - Приходи сегодня вечером ко мне - заночуем, пошалим!&nbsp;</div> <div> Он:&nbsp;</div> <div> - А папа с мамой разрешит ? ?&nbsp;</div> <div> Она:&nbsp;</div> <div> - Не, с мамой конечно не разрешит, со мной будешь спать.</div> <div> ***</div> <div> В школе учительница спрашивает:</div> <div> &nbsp;- Дети, как вы в семье переживаете кризис?</div> <div> Олечка говорит</div> <div> - Мы уже полгода не едим мяса.</div> <div> Дима говорит</div> <div> - А мы зубы чистим один раз в день</div> <div> Вовочка</div> <div> - Мы мамку выгнали</div> <div> Учительница</div> <div> - Как это?</div> <div> - Мы спапкой посоветовались и решили: сиську я давно не сосу, у папки не стоит, а для соседа ее кормить - извините...</div> <div> ***</div> <div> За завтраком жена сердито пеняет своему мужу:</div> <div> - &nbsp;А вот нашу новую соседку ее муж трахает каждый день! А вот ты-то почему этого не делаешь?</div> <div> Мужчина изумляется:</div> <div> - Слушай, да как же я буду это делать, я же с ней практически не знаком.</div> <div> ***</div> <div> Врач спрашивает пациента:</div> <div> &nbsp;– На что жалуетесь?</div> <div> – Доктор, мне бабы не дают.</div> <div> И пациент начинает в голос рыдать.&nbsp;</div> <div> Врач, растерявшись, говорит медсестре:</div> <div> – Дайте ему воды.</div> <div> – Не дам!</div> <div> ***</div> <div> Переписка по ICQ:</div> <div> - &nbsp;Ты знаешь, дорогой, я здесь за месяц похудела на 2 килограмма!</div> <div> - Ах ты, моё слонышко!</div> <div> - Козёл! Только не надо врать, что это опечатка!</div> <div> ***</div> <div> Ты такая забавная! Пойдем погуляем?&nbsp;</div> <div> &nbsp;- Мне папа не позволяет...&nbsp;</div> <div> - Тебе сколько лет?&nbsp;</div> <div> - 23!&nbsp;</div> <div> - Так какой в таком возрасте уже папа?&nbsp;</div> <div> - Папа моего сына.</div> <div> ***</div> <div> Переполненный автобус. Откуда-то из центра толпы женский возмущенный голос:&nbsp;</div> <div> - &nbsp;Мужчина, что вы делаете?&nbsp;</div> <div> Пауза. Тот же женский голос:&nbsp;</div> <div> - Что вы делаете, мужчина?!&nbsp;</div> <div> Пауза. Заинтересованный голос с задней площадки:&nbsp;</div> <div> - Мужик, ну не томи душу! Скажи, что делаешь?!</div> <div> ***</div> <div> Утром в пятницу, заходя в садик, маленькая девочка просит отца:</div> <div> &nbsp;- Папа, приходи, пожалуйста, забирай меня трезвый!</div> <div> - А что случилось, доченька?</div> <div> - Ничего, просто последние четыре раза, вместо меня ты забирал нашу воспитательницу.</div> <div> ***</div> <div> Загадка. Представьте ситуацию. Светофор. Стоит Камаз, гужевая повозка и мотоциклист. Ждут разрешающего сигнала.&nbsp;</div> <div> &nbsp;Загорелся желтый. Камаз газонул. Лошадь испугалась и с перепугу откусила мотоциклисту ухо. Вроде как ДТП.&nbsp;</div> <div> Вопрос:&nbsp;</div> <div> - Кто виноват?&nbsp;</div> <div> - Мотоциклист. В шлеме ездить надо!</div> <div> ***</div> <div> Мужик познакомился в баре с немолодой, но привлекательной 58-летней дамой. Выпили немного, поболтали, тут она говорит: - Ты никогда не пробовал &nbsp;втроём, с матерью и дочкой одновременно?</div> <div> - Нет.</div> <div> - А хотел бы?</div> <div> - Спрашиваешь! Конечно хотел бы!</div> <div> - Ну тогда тебе повезло, поехали ко мне.</div> <div> Приезжают к ней домой, дама открывает дверь и кричит внутрь:</div> <div> "Мама, ты ещё не спишь?!.."</div> </div> </div> </td></tr> </tbody></table> </i><br /> &nbsp; <br /> <div style="left: -99999px; position: absolute;"> Бал у Ростовых. Приглашены все. Приезжает Пушкин, открывает карету, выходит Натали, оступается и каблучком чуть-чуть вступает в грязь. Пушкин: «Ой, ты, лапочка, как же мы теперь пойдем-то! Поехали домой... ». Сажает ее в карету и они уезжают. На следующий день бал у императрицы. Пушкина нет. Подходит корнет Оболенский к Пьеру Безухову: — Слыхали, что вчера на балу случилось? — Нет, а что? — Да приезжает Пушкин, открывает карету, а его жена вышла прям в грязь по колено! Ну тот ее назад, говорит: «Чего ж ты так, корова! », и уехал... Пьер подходит к князю Андрею: — Слыхали, что вчера на балу случилось? — Нет, а что? — Приехал Пушкин, выходит из кареты, открывает дверь, его жена бабах в грязь лицом! Он ей: «Чего же ты, дура, делаешь! », хватает за шкирку и назад в карету, ну и уехал... Князь Андрей подходит к ... . — Слыхали, что вчера на балу случилось? — Нет, а что? — Да Пушкин приехал, открыл карету, хватает свою подругу, хрясь ее в грязь, поднял, закинул опять в карету и укатил... ... ... Под конец бала подходит поручик Ржевский к корнету Оболенскому: — Кстати, корнет, говорят вчера презанятнейший был случай! Представляете, сидит Гоголь на столбе и дрочит! ... anekdotov.net</div> <div style="left: -99999px; position: absolute;"> Бал у Ростовых. Приглашены все. Приезжает Пушкин, открывает карету, выходит Натали, оступается и каблучком чуть-чуть вступает в грязь. Пушкин: «Ой, ты, лапочка, как же мы теперь пойдем-то! Поехали домой... ». Сажает ее в карету и они уезжают. На следующий день бал у императрицы. Пушкина нет. Подходит корнет Оболенский к Пьеру Безухову: — Слыхали, что вчера на балу случилось? — Нет, а что? — Да приезжает Пушкин, открывает карету, а его жена вышла прям в грязь по колено! Ну тот ее назад, говорит: «Чего ж ты так, корова! », и уехал... Пьер подходит к князю Андрею: — Слыхали, что вчера на балу случилось? — Нет, а что? — Приехал Пушкин, выходит из кареты, открывает дверь, его жена бабах в грязь лицом! Он ей: «Чего же ты, дура, делаешь! », хватает за шкирку и назад в карету, ну и уехал... Князь Андрей подходит к ... . — Слыхали, что вчера на балу случилось? — Нет, а что? — Да Пушкин приехал, открыл карету, хватает свою подругу, хрясь ее в грязь, поднял, закинул опять в карету и укатил... ... ... Под конец бала подходит поручик Ржевский к корнету Оболенскому: — Кстати, корнет, говорят вчера презанятнейший был случай! Представляете, сидит Гоголь на столбе и дрочит! ... anekdotov.net</div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6pxsGotaMobsBV4G9H10tOtNyhmZ_X_KNzBVargEUa5gqFicAt5NZAld1iRgcxNq-Lfp77YsiZ2-qLG_CvLJsez99E1hE4mSxA4ZuMa3BH2cmow6PzuG0B5gVIGQqWiH6T1YNVX-ktbTv/s1600/la5552-001%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6pxsGotaMobsBV4G9H10tOtNyhmZ_X_KNzBVargEUa5gqFicAt5NZAld1iRgcxNq-Lfp77YsiZ2-qLG_CvLJsez99E1hE4mSxA4ZuMa3BH2cmow6PzuG0B5gVIGQqWiH6T1YNVX-ktbTv/s1600/la5552-001%25281%2529.jpg" height="320" width="319" /></a></div> <div class="anekdot_text"> Пошел мужик на охоту на медведя. Нашел берлогу выстрелил дуплетом, залазеет в нее а там медведь живой. <br /> — Чо мужик убить меня хотел? <br /> — Да... . . <br /> — ну тогда выбирай или задеру или в жопу вы%%у. <br />Мужик подумал и согласился на второе. <br />Медведь его оттр%%ал, мужик вернулся в деревню, взял ружье помощнее и патронов побольше, вернулся к берлоге расстрелял всю. Залазит в нее а там тот же медведь живой и все повторятся. <br />Совсем злой мужик возвращается домой, берет гранаты, пулемет возвращается к берлоге закидывает гранатами, расстреливает из пулемета. Залазит опять а там в дыму сидит медведь и удивленно спрашивает: Мужик я понять не могу ты охотник или пи%арас?&nbsp;</div> <div class="anekdot_text"> &nbsp;</div> <div style="left: -99999px; position: absolute;"> овых. Приглашены все. Приезжает Пушкин, открывает карету, выходит Натали, оступается и каблучком чуть-чуть вступает в грязь. Пушкин: «Ой, ты, лапочка, как же мы теперь пойдем-то! Поехали домой... ». Сажает ее в карету и они уезжают. На следующий день бал у императрицы. Пушкина нет. Подходит корнет Оболенский к Пьеру Безухову: — Слыхали, что вчера на балу случилось? — Нет, а что? — Да приезжает Пушкин, открывает карету, а его жена вышла прям в грязь по колено! Ну тот ее назад, говорит: «Чего ж ты так, корова! », и уехал... Пьер подходит к князю Андрею: — Слыхали, что вчера на балу случилось? — Нет, а что? — Приехал Пушкин, выходит из кареты, открывает дверь, его жена бабах в грязь лицом! Он ей: «Чего же ты, дура, делаешь! », хватает за шкирку и назад в карету, ну и уехал... Князь Андрей подходит к ... . — Слыхали, что вчера на балу случилось? — Нет, а что? — Да Пушкин приехал, открыл карету, хватает свою подругу, хрясь ее в грязь, поднял, закинул опять в карету и укатил... ... ... Под конец бала подходит поручик Ржевский к корнету Оболенскому: — Кстати, корнет, говорят вчера презанятнейший был случай! Представляете, сидит Гоголь на столбе и дрочит! ... anekdotov.net</div> &nbsp; <br /> &nbsp;<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizVAjVpY_Ny5c0rffr8DQEwZhyphenhyphencEwTAsrY5ud-J58OrHtXAlImC9_8RveCDJ7nVUJVXypX7cU44C_iVHtU8s5897pS4KQ6hNDmGfEiL2GXfwLsnYLCuGRIYZFfFWLsfwMfBGzV-QMhTGOy/s1600/obaama.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizVAjVpY_Ny5c0rffr8DQEwZhyphenhyphencEwTAsrY5ud-J58OrHtXAlImC9_8RveCDJ7nVUJVXypX7cU44C_iVHtU8s5897pS4KQ6hNDmGfEiL2GXfwLsnYLCuGRIYZFfFWLsfwMfBGzV-QMhTGOy/s1600/obaama.jpg" height="241" width="320" /></a><br /> <div class="anekdot_text"> Утреннее построение. Хмурый взгляд ротного придирчиво осматривает строй молодого пополнения. И тут его взгляд останавливается на новобранце без ремня. <br /> — Товарищ солдат. Где ваш ремень? <br /> На что солдат, явно из интеллигентной семьи, но уже потихоньку начавший осваивать тонкости армейского лексикона, голосом, стремящимся вызвать понимание, рапортует: <br /> — Товарищ майор. Спиздили. <br /> — В армии нет такого слова "спиздили", — отвечает ротный, и наш солдат начинает постепенно от веснушек до ушей заливаться краской, понимая, что столь развязной формулировкой задел тонкую душу командира. <br /> Но следующая фраза ротного все расставила по местам. <br /> — В армии есть слово "проебал". </div> <hr /> <div class="anekdot"> <div class="a_info"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCUiIFs4NNiDvUvQhq9LhdImmihbiZezBIqUJipajRDLXKvN6BmpXeNGnAkDJPucpZW3olJJ5cSWsW_w6tq41UWtdAomJHytF3zZu4IVs7qe2ZHhl0fZWVqlgAvtqoN13JPzKnErzWuxvf/s1600/images.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCUiIFs4NNiDvUvQhq9LhdImmihbiZezBIqUJipajRDLXKvN6BmpXeNGnAkDJPucpZW3olJJ5cSWsW_w6tq41UWtdAomJHytF3zZu4IVs7qe2ZHhl0fZWVqlgAvtqoN13JPzKnErzWuxvf/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a></div> <div class="anekdot_text"> Встречаются два мужика. <br /> — Вась! Хочешь водки? <br /> — Ты знаешь, я всегда не против. Но вчера я так напился, так напился, что сегодня ну совсем водки не хочу! <br /> — Может, тебе сигарету дать? <br /> — Я вообще-то много курю, но вчера столько выкурил, что сегодня ну совсем курить не хочу! <br /> — А хочешь, я тебя в жопу тр%%ну? <br /> — Ты что, с ума сошел? Не хочу, конечно: <br /> — Да, насыщенный у тебя вчера был денек:. </div> <hr /> </div> <div class="a_info"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicKxtBfJ7IYh-D8WeRdz4W6QmOlazcn4IU_-b0nY_XglN8VyuzfWBozzAMrCaWFfmhUqGQ-gGh7QtjYh0-8lj4u_2NWijwBx-BdUM7Um1WvPZ9F8YTpdUtf1bs3wngC0MCvQp67mi4lqEN/s1600/541233_385884041482289_75732397sss5_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicKxtBfJ7IYh-D8WeRdz4W6QmOlazcn4IU_-b0nY_XglN8VyuzfWBozzAMrCaWFfmhUqGQ-gGh7QtjYh0-8lj4u_2NWijwBx-BdUM7Um1WvPZ9F8YTpdUtf1bs3wngC0MCvQp67mi4lqEN/s1600/541233_385884041482289_75732397sss5_n.jpg" /></a></div> <div class="anekdot_text"> Встречаются как-то раз три школьные подруги, решили обмыть свою встречу но негде. У одной муж дома, у другой свекровь, а у третьей трое детей... Одна из них предложила распить бутылку на ближайшем кладбище все согласились. Хорошо выпивши и взявши по букетику цветов с могилок, они разбрелись по домам. Наутро встречаются их мужья. Один говорит: Знаете мужики, моя наверное любовника завела — пришла с букетом ромашек... Второй: — И моя тоже пришла вчера выпившая с букетом роз. Третий: — Вам хорошо мужики, у Вас хоть жены по одному любовнику завели, а моя-то... пришла пьяная в доску, а на голове венок "ОТ БРАТВЫ". </div> <br /> <br /> <br /> <div align="right" style="color: grey; font-size: 11px;"> <i><a class="dateBar" href="http://newrezume.org/news/2014-02-04"></a></i></div> <i></i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-8808338569865541292014-02-05T16:47:00.000-08:002014-02-05T16:47:39.836-08:00приколы про олимпиаду 2014<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcoFA7yeDHj0vIQBIPrngduGHg9MmLWg2cPicMKBUYjFRR9uR6ypHON2uDtR4OyU1cBMdM4LGAU3p1-awRrL9cJnAaF4yjZCZSaKqufcsS8XUol1I_-a5630dDIbIJqWBLO_tYTCGmW2RU/s1600/22991d814f8706831457f824c58761d8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcoFA7yeDHj0vIQBIPrngduGHg9MmLWg2cPicMKBUYjFRR9uR6ypHON2uDtR4OyU1cBMdM4LGAU3p1-awRrL9cJnAaF4yjZCZSaKqufcsS8XUol1I_-a5630dDIbIJqWBLO_tYTCGmW2RU/s1600/22991d814f8706831457f824c58761d8.jpg" height="255" width="320" /></a></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWFOLWGE7D3nDmhdq4szEz-mbK3Zapzu_qNFmiWtbuJdHzi_NLK8SEgT_YuYceGr_7CfYpk9NFfCJCMEhNrBhKuRmikM6DwmSZgqPEWphHspby-FXWPk7_kOQIjmkzS9RUZlZPxCvdaSfM/s1600/demssss_30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWFOLWGE7D3nDmhdq4szEz-mbK3Zapzu_qNFmiWtbuJdHzi_NLK8SEgT_YuYceGr_7CfYpk9NFfCJCMEhNrBhKuRmikM6DwmSZgqPEWphHspby-FXWPk7_kOQIjmkzS9RUZlZPxCvdaSfM/s400/demssss_30.jpg" width="318" /></a></div> <br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06511376127451619623noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3806543386447760998.post-49523998437554640032013-09-15T21:57:00.000-07:002013-09-15T21:57:51.852-07:00Самые смешные анекдоты !!!<img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk2GqqV4Q5Fs1f5LyLqHESN357KWtFc9C0uAVNcmMxfBKuq9lhrebDAk38B_kTrwUbNidKgrB8-9um6STTF1AEVRgY9YMBbPWpun8bU8KbdinCsz3COx9vrwzYhyP8odaf7VpuO2s8Uj49/s400/1377880516_a6bt-j0rtma.jpg" width="300" /> <br /> <br /> Мужик с другом сидят в баре, бухают. Друг: - А давай позвоню твоей жене, пошутим, 1 апреля всё же!<br /> Мужик: - Ну давай! А потом я твоей!<br /> Друг звонит с его телефона. Жена: - Я же тебе сказала не звонить, я на совещании! Занята!<br /> Друг: - Извините, но ваш муж только что попал под машину.<br /> Жена: - Насмерть?<br /> Друг: - Да нет, жив. В больницу увезли.<br /> Через 5 минут мужик берёт телефон у друга и звонит уже его жене. Она с ходу:<br /> - Ой, привет, дорогой! У меня новость-то какая! У Светки мужик-то допился, машина сбила! Она с любовником прямо из ресторана к себе домой помчалась отмечать.<br /> &nbsp;<img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYSXy0GRL0VGEqcC8tXwiC6jgIvxeyFrjzWMaZpC-LC1ByJAFroY1TbQCWTnEuP9_DIjwxpz0aaGBvLnY7Y7iHOt9r_9uhwdEhN2kCdN88tY4QYs2A0Cpso4t1CwnxuSmtLToXm966FV_w/s400/104585842_01.jpg" width="400" /><br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Иду по лесу… дождь херачит, ветер, ночь… замерз весь… смотрю — машина стоит, подхожу, <br /> в окошко смотрю — там никого. дверцу попробовал — открыто, ну я залез и сижу… вдруг машина <br /> поехала… я в ахуе… машина едет, я сзади сижу, за рулем никого… тут рука волосатая появляется <br /> откуда-то, порулила и исчезла… у меня волосы на жопе зашевелились… тут деревня показалась, <br /> вот уже дома первые… тут машина останавливается, в салон другой мужик заглядывает и говорит:<br /> — а ты че тут делаешь???<br /> — да вот, еду…<br /> — Аху… ть просто!!! я толкаю, а он бл… ть едет.<br /> <br /> &nbsp;<img border="0" height="353" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNN6i0EcfrasG3gRoQF4zJVApoZHuoqZkhMTmKyICzpWjaANjGYZNpFyyIGPTKlxy6XRaHvNXo9iu1kGLkMi7xgpeydQdNl8kjoMeyWFfdJajRPj2kEq0Kp_GOb1BKayAbFL9DnqvSjNcN/s400/1379074756_1.jpg" width="400" /><br /> <br /> Вовочка приходит в школу с тремя шишками на лбу.<br /> <br /> Учительница спрашивает:<br /> <br /> - Вовочка, что с тобой случилось?<br /> <br /> Он рассказывает:<br /> <br /> - Вчера мы легли спать. Папа спрашивает:<br /> <br /> - Вовка, ты спишь?<br /> <br /> Я говорю:<br /> <br /> - Нет.<br /> <br /> Получил щелчок по лбу.<br /> <br /> Через полчаса папа спрашивает:<br /> <br /> - Вовка, ты спишь?<br /> <br /> Я говорю:<br /> <br /> - Сплю.<br /> <br /> Ба-бах по лбу!<br /> <br /> Еще через полчаса папа спрашивает:<br /> <br /> - Вовка, ты спишь?<br /> <br /> Я молчу. Папа говорит маме:<br /> <br /> - Поехали!<br /> <br /> А я спрашиваю:<br />&nbsp; - Куда?<br /> &nbsp;<img border="0" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPuSGipuUZh2ySfHXXHWXB7iNUmsg580D71cf4SY6Oq2EgfaOuk71AYNMsc-T1KmHY9RzXWFW7kB4LmuO-j3W6OVz92eo8lN1euepeyopMP8iAWouFflOIjS5p9H2HoAhOiR24xML7i926/s400/gifs_00.jpg" width="400" /><br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Поспорили дети в школе что нa свете быстрее всего. <br /> Тaнечкa говорит: <br /> - Сaмое быстрое слово- скaзaл, a уже не вершешь! <br /> Вaнечкa говорит: <br /> - Сaмый бистрый свет! Только вслючил, a он уже горит! <br /> Вовочкa в ответ: <br /> - У меня тут понос был, тaк я ни словa не успел скaзaть, ни свет включить...&nbsp;<br /> <img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQktNm9lC9bDVNeomaNQFxFTHXOuaotKTVH8M9RvBvjLWZa6UW9Arf0XjrX6Oz5cgPsdbK3VcRwuNvyqx2MOiiU0rUFOWWsseIAeWTPl44CK3dxC31sWD9thDewRf6Vil_QOxTG_pIJV4g/s400/207968_247b.jpeg" width="400" /><br /> <br /> В самолете на соседних креслах блондинка и адвокат. Лететь долго.<br /> Блондинка молча отворачивается и смотрит в иллюминатор.<br /> Адвокат блондинке:<br /> - Давайте я Вам задаю вопрос, если вы не знаете ответ - Вы мне 5 долларов. Потом Вы мне задаете вопрос, если я не знаю ответ - я Вам 500 долларов.<br /> Блондинка соглашается.<br /> Адвокат:<br /> - Каково расстояние от Луны до Земли?<br /> Блондинка молча отдает ему 5 долларов.<br /> Блондинка:<br /> - Кто поднимается в гору на трех ногах, а спускается на четырех?<br /> Проходит пару часов. Адвокат обзвонил всех друзей, перерыл Интернет, ответа найти не может.<br /> Делать нечего, отдает блондинке 500 долларов и спрашивает:<br /> - Кто это???<br /> Блондинка молча отдает ему 5 долларов и отворачивается к иллюминатору.<br /> &nbsp;<img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8ReltWZz6wSPC_YGzbWfzUi5K901YA_ATmIMPO7p7i3cDtHo98Rw8XuKQPCdcv1p44uCdWtSVpUDJjKR3hx_prVw8L0BGJAEpuM6fbpCAZl93R6ltZRzbW5_6ULSYgPlFG1N4XIFWvCrU/s400/1379223672_50532197.jpg" width="400" /><br /> <br /> <br /> Повела учительница детей на экскурсию на стройку.<br /> Там случился несчастный случай (строитель упал с лестнице и разбился насмерть).<br /> Возвращаются дети в школу и учительница решила разобрать случившееся.<br /> - Скажи нам, Машенька, как ты думаешь, почему упал дядя?<br /> - Дядя не соблюдал технику безопасности.<br /> - А ты, Ванечка, как думаешь?<br /> - Hавеpно дядя выпил...<br /> Вдpуг встает Вовочка:<br /> - Hет! Дядя ругал матом мою маму!<br /> - Почему ты так думаешь?<br /> - Я сам слышал как он кричал "Мальчик, ёб твою мать! Hе тряси лестницу!"&nbsp;<br /> <br /> <img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFZRId1wjLFYGs3mGPwBcs1h_tJVl4fl7xT8P7SDZ2mRCwkp6uMvevMUK59ot3hE2hMDZcg2ozEWGsvgHgcZB0WIEm37QwGrYwgNwJWKzenh7TyDoCe4OS9CnGZLoOZCm7nIHTDgz2VSRN/s400/269892.jpg" width="400" /><br /> Папа уезжает в ЛЕНИНГРАД и говорит:<br /> Кто сочинит стишок про гостинец и Ленинград, тому тот гостинец и привезу.<br /> Маша: Папа едет в Ленинград.<br /> Папа купит шоколад.<br /> Папа: Привезу тебе, Машенька шоколад.<br /> Саша: Папа едет в Ленинград.<br /> Папа купит самокат.<br /> Папа: Самокат уже твой.<br /> Вовочка: Папа едет в Ленинград.<br /> Папа купит мне мопед.<br /> Папа: Ну Вовочка не в рифму. Чтоб за пять минут придумал правильно.<br /> Вовочка(через 5 мин):Папа едет в Ленинград.<br /> Мамин хахоль будет рад.<br /> Мамин хахоль наш сосед.<br /> Папа купит мне мопед. <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQktNm9lC9bDVNeomaNQFxFTHXOuaotKTVH8M9RvBvjLWZa6UW9Arf0XjrX6Oz5cgPsdbK3VcRwuNvyqx2MOiiU0rUFOWWsseIAeWTPl44CK3dxC31sWD9thDewRf6Vil_QOxTG_pIJV4g/s1600/207968_247b.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFZRId1wjLFYGs3mGPwBcs1h_tJVl4fl7xT8P7SDZ2mRCwkp6uMvevMUK59ot3hE2hMDZcg2ozEWGsvgHgcZB0WIEm37QwGrYwgNwJWKzenh7TyDoCe4OS9CnGZLoOZCm7nIHTDgz2VSRN/s1600/269892.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYSXy0GRL0VGEqcC8tXwiC6jgIvxeyFrjzWMaZpC-LC1ByJAFroY1TbQCWTnEuP9_DIjwxpz0aaGBvLnY7Y7iHOt9r_9uhwdEhN2kCdN88tY4QYs2A0Cpso4t1CwnxuSmtLToXm966FV_w/s1600/104585842_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; 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