That's Funny Sh*t

Group

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 17 Feb 2016 03:38:00 +0000

A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'Low Battery '.

Whenever she calls him, and he has left his phone at home, his wife sees it and plugs it into the charger.
Give that man a medal.
_____________________________

Government Survey
A government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal immigrants come to Canada so they can see their own doctor.
_____________________________

Got a new Jack Russell pup today. He's mainly black and brown with just a small white area.

I've called him Toronto.

_____________________________

They say that sex is the best form of exercise.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that 30 seconds every 3 months is doing much for this beer belly.

Selfie

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 17 Feb 2016 03:36:00 +0000

Do you have a job?

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 04:54:00 +0000

Politician

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 04:46:00 +0000

Rest Your Mind

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 04:45:00 +0000

Canadian Tourist

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 04:43:00 +0000

Bob, a middle-aged Canadian tourist on his first time in Lincoln, Nebraska,
locates the red light district and enters a large brothel.

The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain

the client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and
she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!

Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain

the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and

she sits on his lap.  He whispers in her ear and she screams,

No-No!"  and quickly runs away!

The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for

something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with it.

She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola looks

a bit tired, but she has never said no and it doesn't seem likely that

anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Bob.

They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his
lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!"

smacks him as hard as she can and literally runs away!

Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this

in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom

work herself for a long time, but she did it for many years before she

got into management. She's sure she has said yes at one time or another

to everything a man could possibly ask for. The challenge is irresistible.

She just has to find out what this man has wanted that has made her

girls so angry. And she sees a chance she can't pass up to show off to her
employees how good she was at what they do.

So she goes over to Bob and says that she's the best in the house

and she is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic a bit,
giggle a bit, and drink a little, and she sits in his lap. And Bob
leans forward and whispers in her ear,

  "Can I pay in Canadian dollars?"

suicide.

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 23:39:00 +0000

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim
Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.

Let’s have a look at the evidence:

- No Christmas - No television -No nude women - No football - No pork chops - No hot dogs - No burgers - No beer - No bacon - Rags for clothes - Towels for hats - Constant wailing from a tower - More than one wife - More than one mother in law - You can't shave - Your wife can't shave - You can't wash off the smell of donkey - You cook over burning camel shit - Your wife is picked by someone else for you - and your wife smells worse than your donkey Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better"?? Well helloooooo, Sherlock!....

It's not like it could get much worse!!

They Walk Among Us! OMG talk about stupid! ---------------------------- ...and they breed.

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 23:37:00 +0000

Traffic Camera

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a trafficcamera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result.. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..

You can't fix stupid.

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving'.

They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

They Walk Among Us!
-------------------------------------------------

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!

Dumb as a box of Rocks

TRUE STORY:

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..'

'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.

Well, you might ask , 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'

Sadly, they walk among us!

little jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Thu, 24 Dec 2015 02:10:00 +0000

A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'Low Battery '.

Whenever she calls him, and he has left his phone at home, his wife sees it and plugs it into the charger.
Give that man a medal.
_____________________________

Government Survey
A government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal immigrants come to Canada so they can see their own doctor.
_____________________________

Got a new Jack Russell pup today. He's mainly black and brown with just a small white area.

I've called him Toronto.

_____________________________

They say that sex is the best form of exercise.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that 30 seconds every 3 months is doing much for this beer belly.

proof of global warming

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Thu, 24 Dec 2015 02:08:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Thu, 24 Dec 2015 02:06:00 +0000

1 of 99

: Political Correctness

Jokes

Roth Fred

Dec 18 (5 days ago)

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as


'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore,

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN  AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a

BREASTED AMERICAN. '

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a

' LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN  AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

(Loved this one!)

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'

(Loved this one even more)

Getting Older

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Thu, 24 Dec 2015 02:04:00 +0000

Sad, But As I Get Older, I Think Differently.

After a long day on the golf course, I stopped in at Hooter's to

see some friends and have some hot Wings and ice tea.

After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me which

waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.

I told them "The one who knows how to fix elevators".

I'm old, I'm tired, and I pee a lot.

Meds

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 09 Dec 2015 00:13:00 +0000

If My Body Was A Car

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 09 Dec 2015 00:11:00 +0000

This is just Too funny - scary how true it is!!!
If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...
But that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus,
And it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it.

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, Either My Radiator Leaks or My Exhaust Backfires!

2015 in a Nutshell

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 09 Dec 2015 00:08:00 +0000

WELCOME to 2015:

• Our Phones – Wireless
• Cooking – Fireless
• Cars – Keyless
• Food – Fatless
• Tires –Tubeless
• Dress – Sleeveless
• Youth – Jobless
• Leaders – Shameless
• Relationships – Meaningless
• Attitudes – Careless
• Feelings – Heartless
• Education – Valueless
• Children – Mannerless
• Country – Godless

We are SPEECHLESS,
Government is CLUELESS,

And our Leaders are WORTHLESS!

I'm scared - SHITLESS

Senior trying to set password

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 04:05:00 +0000

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50damnboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAss!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

Your First Christmas Joke - and it's Scottish..

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 04:01:00 +0000

Your First Christmas Joke - and it's Scottish..........

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says,

"I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".

"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says.  "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".
Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell they're getting divorced", she  shouts, "I'll take care of this".
She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?"and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way."

A Chicken Farmer....

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 03:56:00 +0000

A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne..

The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'

'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating'

'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman.

'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'

'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

'I used a different cock,' he replied.

The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'

Fluctuations

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Fri, 06 Nov 2015 03:51:00 +0000

I will never hear or see this word again without thinking of this joke.

I was at my bank today; there was a short line.
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated . . .

She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen.
Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

They walk among us!

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 04 Nov 2015 23:35:00 +0000

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home.

You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it!

They walk among us!
-------------------------------------

*One day I was walking down the beach with
Some friends when someone shouted.....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

They walk among us!

-------------------------------------

While looking at a house, my brother asked the
Real Estate agent which direction was north because
He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
And has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'

They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------------------------

Traffic Camera

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result.. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..

You can't fix stupid.

-------------------------------------

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving'.

They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

They Walk Among Us!
-------------------------------------------------

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!

-------------------------------------

Understanding Engineers

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 04 Nov 2015 23:30:00 +0000

Understanding Engineers #1

          Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

          The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on         this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
       The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

          Understanding Engineers #2
          To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the
            glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

          Understanding Engineers #3
          A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
             The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
          The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
          The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's
            wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
          The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always             let them play for free anytime!"
          The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
            them tonight."
          The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here's anything she can do for them."
          The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

          Understanding Engineers #4
                     What is the difference between mechanical engineers and architect?

          Mechanical engineers build weapons, architects build targets.

          Understanding Engineers #5

          The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

          The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

          The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

          The graduate with an architectural degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?”

          Understanding          Engineers #6
          Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
          One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
          Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
          The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste
          pipeline through a recreational area?"

          Understanding Engineers #7
                     Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't
          have enough features yet.

          Understanding Engineers #8
          An architect was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
          into a beautiful princess."
          He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
          The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you
          for one week."
          The architect took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
          The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and
          do anything you want."
          Again, the architect took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
          Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and I’ll do anything         you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
          The architect said, "Look, I'm an architect. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."

          And Finally

          Two engineers???

          Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
          A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
          "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
          The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
          One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
          Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently serving as elected members of the US  Congress.

Now What

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 04 Nov 2015 04:28:00 +0000

A Horse, A Chicken And A Harley

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Wed, 04 Nov 2015 04:24:00 +0000

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (Yep, you betcha, there is a moral!)

'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!"

Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 23:13:00 +0000

Marriage (Part I)

Macho man married good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
When I want with my old buddies, and don't you
Give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?'

His new bride said:
'No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not.'

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************************

Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
That reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!'
'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
That reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!'

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

             *****************************************



Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you are no
Good in bed either,' and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and Decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, 'What took you so long to answer to the phone?'
She says, 'I was in bed.'

'In bed this early, doing what?'

'Getting a second opinion!'

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

******************************************************

                     Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
Wife,' Mother of Six' in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
Shouts right back, 'Any time you're ready, Father of Four.'

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
*******************************************************

     THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
And were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
To wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
Of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
Was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he
Noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

****************************************

God may have created man before woman, but there Is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.



*****************************************Send this to folks who need a laugh!

My Road Rage Is Gone!

noreply@blogger.com (Don "Gator" Healey) — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 23:11:00 +0000

I no longer have problems with road rage. You may not have known I had issues with road rage.
However, since I picked up my new bike people no longer seem to annoy me anymore. Maybe
I have mellowed. Just wanted to let you know I'm over all of that now.

NOTE: Rocket launcher is on back order!