Just Wondering

Crumbs From A Farm Table 1

2016-10-25T07:28:00.000+01:00

There was an old horse, three pigs and clutch of chickens living in relative harmony on the farm. Mainly because there were no males among them. They lived their days to a routine than was both simple and thoroughly satisfying for these placid animals. One day fine Autumn day the old farmer's aging wife came to collect the eggs. She waded through the aromatic leaves covered in early morning dew, hugging the basket close to her chest. The early morning sunlight glinted on the wayward grey hairs that escaped her headscarf. She bent over and lifted the coop's shutter then reached inside brushing away some straw in search of eggs. Death came in an instant. The heavy wooden shutter fell down on her head and snapped her spine. The farmer contemplated the small log of firewood he used to dislodge the wooden support of the coop's shutter and decided it was dry enough to burn in the stove to make eggs for breakfast.

Wrong Planet Syndrome

2016-01-23T07:34:00.001+00:00

I've just read a great article (list more like) from a guy called Chris Bonello that made me laugh. It's basically 50 things that Asperger's people like myself must deal with and Neurotypical people like you should understand.

This is no36."Asperger’s is sometimes called ‘Wrong Planet Syndrome’, because it often feels like that’s where you were born- on the wrong planet, among a bunch of aliens who don’t function like you do. So when I say that we’re normal and you guys are weird, that really is how it feels!"

Here is the rest: http://healthforeveryone.info/2015/12/21/50-important-facts-about-having-mild-autism-and-people-with-asperger-s-syndrome/

Being lonely increases the risk of everything

2014-10-29T19:33:00.001+00:00

http://www.brainpickings.org/2014/06/23/nothing-jo-marchant-heal-thyself/

" Being lonely increases the risk of everything from heart attacks to dementia, depression and death, whereas people who are satisfied with their social lives sleep better, age more slowly and respond better to vaccines. The effect is so strong that curing loneliness is as good for your health as giving up smoking."

Legg Calve Perthes Disease in Chihuahua

2014-06-26T09:02:00.001+01:00

Max the day after his FHO surgery

The Poem of 'Do'!

2014-01-06T19:06:00.001+00:00

Yoda says
"Try Not!
Do or do not!
There is no try."

You will try
And you might fail
But do have fun
Along the way

You won't try
And you won't fail
But you might have fun
Anyway

Yoda again
"If no mistake have you made
Yet losing you are
A different game
You should play!"
(by Vicky Nagy 2014)

Budapest Timelapse

2013-09-18T16:38:00.001+01:00

Long ago in Paris

2013-07-31T23:07:00.002+01:00

Really? You Don't Look Autistic...

2013-06-14T07:38:00.000+01:00

So you decide to crawl out of your shell and open up to people about your Asperger's. This is a hilarious video about people's reaction.

Absolutely Brilliant! So true too. One's missing though: The look with the chin up and a longish, deep 'Ah' sound of "I haven't the f***ing clue what Autism is but trying to hide my ignorance".

Ok. So now go and take the test. :)
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/13/mental-illness-physical-i_n_6145156.html

An Asperger's Unemployed Is a Talent Wasted

2013-06-12T14:12:00.002+01:00

According to the estimates of The National Autistic Society (UK) 85% of Adults on the Autism Spectrum are unemployed.There is no information or statistics on How many of them is high functioning (has Asperger's syndrome.) I am appalled by this but also glad that the 'revolution' has begun. There are discussions about mental health in parliament and local authorities have begun taking steps towards tackling this issue. Some counties have pretty decent services with well designed websites. Here in East Sussex there is only a draft for an Autism Plan as of June 2013 nearly four years after the Autism Act was passed which required an active action plan to be put in place by Aug. 2010. As the act isn't being enforced Even the National Autistic Society seems to think that South East of England ends in London. Since this bothered me so much I wrote to Mr Barker the local MP for Rother who actually seem to have stirred up a few things. He sent his replies in House of Commons envelopes containing answers from both the East Sussex County council's Autism Team (apparently there is one but it's so far uncertain as to what they're doing.) In addition I was also contacted by the Chief Executive of the Sussex NHS Trust (she's got an MBE) who was very kind and helpful She put me in touch with her Director of Nursing and Quality who sound delightful on the phone and very helpful too. She spoke to the Director of Learning Disability Support with whom I was encouraged to make an appointment. And I did and will speak with her by phone tomorrow.
They both wish to better understand what it is like to live with Asperger's. Also, would like to put me in touch with Autism services in this area. I am not sure that will help though because according to my research there is no support for high functioning 'Aspiladies' like me. Furthermore I don't need help with my 'functioning' in society. I need society to understand and become more tolerant to Neurodiversity.
I'm going to propose a programme to educate employers on the benefits as well as concerns regarding employees with Aspergers. Just to keep my mind occupied until I get the diagnosis. And because perhaps I can help others like me. I may not have the best social skills, far from it, but instead I have the capacity to 'make things happen' and the love in my heart to want to.
An exerpt from my proposal: "Neurodiversity education is in its infancy. We must work on ensuring that it will get as much exposure and attention as race discrimination and sexual harassment. Perhaps looking at how those issues were dealt with could help provide some tools for us too.

Getting an Asperger's Diagnosis as an adult in the U.K..

2013-06-12T12:26:00.002+01:00

Current recipe fresh as of June 2013

1- Get misdiagnosed a lot
2 - Get desperate and start searching the internet (I did this for you: click http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
3 - go to your GP and get referred to a counseling service that understand Adult Asperger's
4 - While you wait for a year to get an appointment read books on Asperger's.
5 - Get in touch with others on the spectrum on Facebook. You'd be amazed how many of us are out there.
6 - Go through your problems with your psychiatrist who will send you to a specialist diagnostic service.
7 - Wait for another year
8 - Meanwhile, get proactive and find your strengths. (by this point you should have enough of mulling over your shortcomings)
9 - Start consciously paying attention to socialy apt people and try emulating them.
10 - by the time you get to be officially diagnosed, you'll become so good at 'acting' that no one will believe you are atypical. :)

For me it has been a very long journey so far and the end is just about in sight. After being misdiagnosed through the years with everything from Clinical Depression, Bi-Polar disorder and so on. During university in 2003 as a mature student I stumbled upon a book on Autism. My, then, counselor diagnosed me with PDS and said I was not Autistic. It turns out she had neither training nor understanding of what Adult Asperger's is. I carried on with my misery until a few month ago when my current counselor who is a clinical psychiatrist but without formal training, suggested to take a look at the Baron-Cohen AQ Test. I got 41 (that's pretty high) So she referred me to the consultant psychiatrist there who has an "interest" and evidently an in depth knowledge of the condition. He had actually assessed me in the first instance so he had an understanding and insight into my world already. luckily. He diagnosed me as having Adult Asperger's but does not have the authority to give an official diagnosis as such so he referred me to the Brighton clinic (that currently as of June 2013, has a 1 year waiting list.)

The Weather And The Brain

2013-05-13T08:09:00.000+01:00

Icicles in intricate floral patterns were crawling up the panes. The wind was forcing it's way in through every tiny gap. I tried boarding up the large, English Channel-facing windows in the studio room but the nails weren't long enough to hold. A futile effort that I knew could not delay the inevitable. Electricity's gone but the gas heating was still holding. I wondered if it was too late to get out? Go South; Mexico; familiar and I speak some Spanish or Thailand; feel comfortable there and understand the culture (as much as a non-Thai person possibly can. I though of the enormous changes that will occur when the world no longer revolves around Western culture. I felt neither fear nor excitement, only apprehension. Inevitability is like a rip tide; the only way to survive it is by not fighting it. I begun collecting my meager collection of jewellery, wouldn't last long. Thought about the skills I could offer; teaching, designing/making stuff. All good, I'd survive, always have. Transport. The realization of the reality grabbed my throat and hot tears begun to flow. I woke up.

Was it premonition? The first time I remember this happen I was about nine years old sleeping next to my grandmother, dreaming of her wasting away and dying. She was diagnosed with cancer shortly thereafter and died in hospital. Even though intellectually I knew what was happening, I did not 'feel' it. They say children don't really understand death before the age of 10. Or it was my Aspergers? Who knows. These fearful dreams kept coming throughout my life. In another instance I dreamed that my right foot was cut off by a train. It wasn't a train and my foot stayed on, just about. Some time later three bones in my right foot was broken in a motorbike accident in Thailand.

I am an Atheist who believes in reason, science and empirical evidence. However, my experiences are very real. We humans have been around for about ten thousand years and spent about 98% of that time in near complete ignorance about the human body. The brain is still largely a mystery, though there seems to be hope. Obama's Brain Initiative might accelerate learning. To believe that current science already has the answers to everything, would be an arrogant folly that should be well left behind in the Middle Ages. No, I won't start reading my horoscopes, just saying that people are more 'connected' than aware.

I don't want to seem like those nuts in America who holled themselves up during the cold war. Although a nuclear war is definitely still not out of the question; Pakistan, India and China all have the power as well the instability to wipe us all out, one must have hope and faith in reason enough to not get all worked up about the possibility. Doomsday loonies predicting the end of the world that just doesn't want to happen... remember the millenium bug scare? Laughed at the fools! I'm certainly not one of them. Remember this is about a dream I had.

In any case the dream made me think about possibilities like the drastic population shift due to Climate Change or the Population Explosion in Asia. The big question is which will come first. But the most important question is how to start preparing for it? Buying Gold might not be a bad idea as currencies are already unreliable. If I had kids I'd start teaching them life and leadership skills...and probably start making plans to move closer to the Equator. :) As I don't, I'm just going to make a nice breakfast and then call the dentist because my bloody filling fell out.

Eulogy for Thatcher

2013-04-11T11:23:00.001+01:00

I've come to live in the U.K. in 1988 from a then communist country. What I saw her was not what I expected; I saw people begging and living on the street for the first time in my life. I got evacuated from a building because of a bomb scare. I was surprised by by the tons rubbish on the streets. I was shocked by sick people on guernseys on the hospital corridor. I saw school kids sharing battered books. Most of all I was astonished that women got paid less than men for the same job even though the country was led by a woman. All the while she, who was responsible for all this, believed herself to be a lady. Well a true lady knows when to leave, thus Teacher definitely wasn't one. An that's all I gotta say.

High Speed Photography

2012-11-28T17:40:00.001+00:00

I am quiet enthusiastic about this right now. It's basically taking pictures with liquids in motion. The results are awesome photographs. Now I just need to buy a strobe or two and a trigger for the camera, a fishtank... so a couple of hundred ponds and I'm almost there. :) Until then here are some from the master: Marcus Reugel

Beachy Head in November

2012-11-20T12:57:00.001+00:00

Guy Fawkes Night in Lewes

2012-11-08T22:42:00.005+00:00

Fuck It

2012-11-08T20:28:00.000+00:00

More "Fuck It!" here

AND

What Really Makes Us Fat

2012-06-27T10:25:00.008+01:00

Just read an interesting article in the Guardian: This comment is a response to the quoted sentences at the end of the text /why-our-food-is-making-us-fat

"The industry is tied into a complex matrix of other interests: drugs, chemicals, even dieting products. The panoply of satellite industries that make money from obesity means the food industry's relationship to obesity is an incredibly complex one."

Complex it is not. Take Unilever, an enormous consumer goods company that produces Pot Noodles (nutritional value '0',) Peperami (high in fat) Several Ice Cream brands (tons of sugar) and guess what else? Yes! Slim Fast (chemical load) Basically none which are healthy. Yet their website nutrition section reads like a health farm's. Telling the truth isn't profitable. Governments should have clear and strict guidelines to Corporate Social Responsibility Statements and consumer goods companies should start taking real responsibility instead of blowing smoke to screen their greed and lack of integrity. Sure all that could be argued that people are in charge of their own diet and should know better than to eat foods that are high in fat. Yes they should and by and large, do. But what about the sugar? The article point out aptly how much publicity there is concerning the fat content in our food but little or none about how much of it is replaced by high calorie sugar, glucose, fructose and unhealthy artificial sweeteners that increase the appetite. I like to know what goes into my food. I also prefer to make my meals. This isn't so with everyone and even impossible for some, such as kids and those who were brought up on crap and completely addicted to junk. But I see intelligent, educated adults who simply cannot seem to control their weight. The NHS spends billions on related diseases the cost which in my opinion should be shared by large consumer companies, such as Unilever, who not only churn out the bad stuff but promoting term to the pliable public. Or, bring in the Fat Tax. People with BMI over 30 (which is considered 'obese' should be taxed to contribute towards their treatment. I'd take it even a step further; those who enable the clinically obese to become such, should be charged in criminal court just like drug dealers. Over-feeding food to someone who cannot feed themselves because they're too fat to move, surely is no different from supplying narcotics to a junkie.

I'll be looking at the sugar and sweetener content in my shop bought grub from now on.

2012-06-26T15:51:00.002+01:00

Rock of Ages. "Exactly what is says on the box". But a whole lot funnier than I expected. Truthfully, I dislike musicals because the theme is invariable banal; boy meets girl, they screw and and pert then they meet and screw. But what made this movie more than bearable was the gentle satire, the likeable characters including Heyman the monkey alter ego of the 'Rock God'. Brand and Baldwin were hilarious but Tom Cruise has a class of his own. Somebody! Give the man an Oscar already! (Tom honey I'd "pour sugar on" you any day!) His magic blend of Axel Rose, Steve Tyler and Van Halen on Def Leppard hit the spot like single malt on the rocks after a hard day. Well, I must say that my age is in part responsible for the reason why I liked the movie. Having been a teenager in the 80's was a great stroke of luck and I for one am and forever will be a "Rock chick". The soundtrack isn't bad especially since so many of the songs weren't performed by people known for their singing, and funnily enough they were the best. There were no dull moments and plenty of laughs in between the sing along bits. I will definitely go to see it at the theatre in London. This was the first film for a long the that ended too soon. I wanted to Rock on! :)

Kindergarten Swimming Scallops

2012-06-24T13:12:00.000+01:00

Last Saturday night I had Bexhill's premier Italian dining experience. I'd give it 3 out of 5 ' breadsticks'.

The restaurant is very popular with the locals for what I fathomed the warm welcome and excellent service.The small floor space is crammed with tiny tables. The decor is trying to be modern but it's just really boring. The atmosphere was lively due to several birthdays in progress. We had to wait for our table and as there is no space for that we spent a few minutes pirouetting with the waiters by the bar. When the food arrived I got the impression that there is a young female chef in the kitchen with insufficient experience, an average palette and poor taste. I had the thinly sliced pan fried scallops (never seen this before), served with over boiled rice.The texture of the scallops was rather jelly soft, drenched in olive oil and over fried, browned garlic pieces which were the only flavors I could taste. My friend had a generous Salmon fillet with a side order of overcooked baby carrots, red cabbage and new potatoes. The entire meal was presented as a kindergarten art project a large rice 'castle' at the center, with the scallop slices swimming in oil around it in a circle on mine and cherry-tomato halves and sliced black olive 'necklace' circled the rim of the Salmon filet. Can't comment on the fish as I didn't try it but looked neither elegant nor appetizing. The dessert was a large slice of too sweet Baily's cake with a dollop of shop-bought flavor ice cream decorated by heart shape coco-powder pattern that belongs on top of a cappuccino but by then I cared little for the kid's craft because the Limoncello kicked in. - Pic: my Bangkok kindergarten student Jerry expressing himself through colored rice.

Prometheus Review

2012-06-22T20:54:00.001+01:00

COMMENTS INVITED

Saw Prometheus and thought what a waste of an incredible visual feast. It was like sitting down to a Japanese dinner, say at Nobu, just to find that the sushi is made of resin. The single charismatic character, the revived 'Engineer' alien provided a bit of an appetizer but at the end I left the cinema feeling hungry and disappointed. As it was my birthday this just didn't do so I watched the first Alien flick for a late night snack then slept soundly, as all was at last right in this world.
One thing still keeps nagging me; what did the humanoid android say to the alien engineer?

1 - Hey sexy, your body is awesome! Which gym are you going to?

2 - I know this gay-friendly cinema in the village, would you like to go
to see Lawrence Of Arabia with me?

3 - Dude, your skin is lovely, like it's smooth and white like a tic tac,
do you taste fresh and minty too?

feel free to add more :)

Avengers Review

2012-06-22T20:53:00.002+01:00

The Avengers Assembled but really they shouldn't have. Utterly tedious monologues delivered without panache. The movie had a banal and childish story line, if you can call it that. The effect where nothing special. I've seen better performances in primary schools and Captain America couldn't have been a bigger sissy if it were played by a sock puppet. The single flickering spark in this 'graveyard of imagination' came from Robert D. Jr who delivered his Ironman with his usual flair. Leaving the cinema there was a sudden breakout of Tourettes. I haven't heard so many four letter expletives after a movie since the second Matrix flick and, believe me, even that was more endurable than this.
This spoof animation by HISHEdotcom has more humor in four minutes than two hours of the motion picture.

Why I disagree with the Expert Panel on the removal of D&T from the National Curriculum‏

2012-02-06T23:29:00.003+00:00

If D&T is a 'disposable' subject. What's next?...History?... If we cannot learn from what we've made what can we possibly learn from what we've done?
I'm hoping that the esteemed members of the Expert Panel still treasure that ashtray or the trinket box they'd made in school so long ago as the only thing from school they kept to this day. If they hadn't I'd welcome them to make an object that they put thought into, designed and realised with their own hands. The sense of achievement and pride harvested from a job well done is incomparable to anything else. It is a basic psychological necessity for every human being, especially for a young mind. You take this away from them and you will take the fun out of learning. You take away the cross-discipline that provides more inspiration to learn science than any other subject!

Science education is currently deemed so important that only 1st class degree holders in maths and physics get decent financial motivation to become teachers...How many 'geeks' who can teach can you fit into a Mini? - The One! It's a running joke that speaks volumes.

(Is the Expert Panel who proposed the changes in the National Curriculum the same that is responsible for this newly revised and extremely unfair PGCE financial incentive scheme... I wonder? And may I request solid statistical proof that 2:2 degree holders make worse teachers than 2:1 or 1st please !?...because in my experience the performance of a teacher has no correlation to his or her original degree classification.)

How many young minds will get excited about science without demonstrable applications? - See "Mini joke" above.
Take away D&T education and you will remove the very reason why most students would actually want to pay attention in math. or physics class. Guaranteed!

I sincerely believe that removing D&T from the National Curriculum would be a mistake that may have long term detrimental effect on society. I can't prove this, no one can, but if there is even a slightest chance that future generations will suffer from a shortage of engineers, architects and designers because we didn't introduced students to D&T at an early age when they are impressionable and enthusiastic - surely, we cannot take this chance. Design & Technology Must remain in the National Curriculum!

I Am Restless by Rabindranath Tagore

2012-01-25T13:33:00.000+00:00

I am restless. I am athirst for far-away things.
My soul goes out in a longing to touch the skirt of the dim distance.
O Great Beyond, O the keen call of thy flute!
I forget, I ever forget, that I have no wings to fly, that I am bound in this spot evermore.

I am eager and wakeful, I am a stranger in a strange land.
Thy breath comes to me whispering an impossible hope.
Thy tongue is known to my heart as its very own.
O Far-to-seek, O the keen call of thy flute!
I forget, I ever forget, that I know not the way, that I have not the winged horse.

I am listless, I am a wanderer in my heart.
In the sunny haze of the languid hours, what vast vision of thine takes shape in the blue of the sky!
O Farthest end, O the keen call of thy flute!
I forget, I ever forget, that the gates are shut everywhere in the house where I dwell alone!

Stacy Francis sings Purple Rain

2011-10-15T11:17:00.010+01:00

I think this video speaks for itself and also I am speechless....believe it!
Stacy Francis Purple Rain

Amazon Kindle Fire

2011-09-29T10:03:00.003+01:00

Amazon Kindle Fire the name which must have caused the 'creatives' countless sleepless nights...turning over and over"...what Cliché would fit?...the pressure...."! I really want one of those 'Pads'. There is a glitch though; Amazon is going to release it soon but not here. What we'll get is yet an other Black and White display Kindle for 89 pounds in October. Only a month later in November the full colour Amazon Kindle Fire will be available in the U.S.A for $199? ...er There are two apparent possibilities for such folly : 1: Amazon underestimates the intelligence and not to mention technological sophistication of the Brits. 2: Amazon is trying to flog off leftovers to the poor, dumb folk on the other side of the pond. Both theories are insulting, show lack of respect and common sense. Which is why, I for one, will be patiently waiting for the inevitable price war that brings the price of iPad down then buy one of those. From Amazon UK of course... just because.