THIS IS MY LIFE: The Single Parent Experience

Top 5 Annoying Habits of Tweeners

2011-09-07T07:49:00.000-04:00

Do you remember when you were say, twelve years old and what it was like? That's not a time that I remember well. I remember myself at the age of fourteen though.

My daughter, who's twelve years old now has gone from sweet and helpful to someone that I don't recognize. I'm not talking about whether she's a good kid or not because she is. I mean that being twelve has brought its change of attitude and behaviour.

What do I see now that drives me bonkers?

The chatting on the phone that doesn't want to end even while surfing and the excessive texting at all times; How do they manage to do 500 or more texts in one day? What do they have to talk about after texting and going to school with each other all day?

The twirling of the hair with her fingers at all times; What is it about the playing with the hair stuff ? She is constantly grooming her hair or changing the style.

The amount of bathroom time; What the heck is she doing in there? She doesn't have to shave her underarm or her legs...oh yeah, she's still talking on the phone.

The annoyingly loud ring tones for notifications that go on and on as if she's deaf; She hears her phone but why does it need to be so loud? It's an announcement not a notification. Wrong she's listening to the song...geez!

The brushing off of her duties or doing a crappy job in her haste to go and hang out. Friends come first. Of course, what else!

I must have done some of these things except the cell phone issues. I'm sure my mom must have just rolled her eyes and sighed as I often do in my case. No amount of talking works right now. Everything just goes in one ear and out the other as quickly. I see your lips moving but what did you say?

Nurse

2011-08-10T04:51:00.000-04:00

Tonight, was the kind of night that I hoped to come across only once in my life. It's the kind of night that every parent dreads because it's an indication that some of the choices our kids make are absolutely not in their best interest. There it was, my call to nurse him was soon to begin unbeknownst to me.

See, my son came home from a party drunk. I had already gone to bed when he showed up late and got me out of bed to let him in. Awakened out of bed at the time when I most needed to sleep, I was unable to return to that bliss. I spent the night surfing the net until further into the wee hours of the night when tiredness called me back to sleep. Finally.

In the morning, coming awake slowly, I flew out of bed with the urging and shouted calls to come. When I reached the bathroom, my son lay on the floor in a cold sweat where he had fallen after getting out of bed to use the bathroom. He could barely speak and was noise sensitive because he begged me to stop talking. I put a pillow under his head and tried to think what to do. I grabbed his rag and wetting it with cold water, applied it to his forehead for a short while. I used that damp, cold rag to wipe his body as he lay prone. I recognized the sign of high and then a drop in blood pressure that was causing him to sweat. I got my blood pressure monitor and checked his bp a number of times and sure enough his pressure was dropping too fast.

I kept monitoring his bp and using cold water to wipe the sweat from his body. As I stood there, I called on the angels to surround him and Mother God to heal him. He was too weak to move but after awhile he insisted that he wanted to get up. With strong self will, he propelled himself out of there and into his room. I got some cushions and placed them under his feet to raise them higher than his heart. Every ten minutes I kept checking his bp for signs that his normal rate was returning.

In hindsight, my first call should have been for an ambulance to take him to emergency since I was unsure why he was in the condition that he was. Apparently he had gone to the bathroom earlier and had vomited. From there, he had started to feel worse and had fallen down. Hence, the calls to me.

I know what it's like in the emergency part of the hospital. I've been there in many capacities in my life. I've watched from the back as a parent with a sick child brought in by ambulance. It's not a pretty sight. When one comes into emergency with a complaint, after taking that person's info, they are then directed to the waiting area until called to be seen by a doctor.

The same occurs when you arrive by ambulance. The difference is that the medics give your info and vital signs to the triage team and then you wait and wait until a doctor can see you. Based on priority, you eventually are looked at.

My call about what to do as a parent is my own. Someone else in a similar position could call an ambulance and let the paramedics who are trained in emergency situations handle it.

Suffice to say that, throughout the day he did a lot of vomiting. He was dehydrated so he drank lots of water which is good for the body. Eventually, he was able to drink some soup, a little at a time to enable his system to accept it. He slept a lot too since he was tired and had spent the day indisposed.

The lesson that I hope that he takes with him is to make different choices for himself. To recognize opportunities that support him instead. He's growing and even as an adult those things that cause us pain enable us to see life from another point of view. They are just different experiences that we choose from to see the world.

The Teenage Guy's Survival Guide: The Real Deal on Girls, Growing Up and Other
O3 Kids All-in-One Backpack with Cooler, Camo
Large Transparent Clear Orange PVC Schoolbook Bag / Outdoor Backpack

Random...Why and What If

2011-07-13T16:14:00.000-04:00

It's one of those days. You know them... where you ramble. My mind is just jumping from thought to thought. In no particular pattern. I think my kids would call that random. Today, I'm random.

What if my son woke up this morning without me having to tell him a million times to get up and get moving so that he won't be late for school(I'd really like to put on a recording of my mantra to him instead and turn it up really loud); What if I suddenly won the big prize on that Gold scratch ticket that I spend ten bucks a pop on(hmm, lemme see now a housekeeper fer sure. No more cleaning up after them kids. Yeah!); What if my kids couldn't text, watch tv, play video games, use the computer, yack on the phone, sleep over their friend's house,all for one week(doesn't bother me 'cause I won my lotto); What if my kids started listening for a change(about time); Why does my daughter talk so loud when she's on the phone?(no idea); Why do I have to remind them to clean up after themselves?(God, they're old enough and they know better. No worries,got the housekeeper).

I know it's all a fantasy(a figment of my over active imagination) but...it could happen.

Worries

2011-07-12T00:18:00.000-04:00

Do you ever worry and wonder what all your worrying is about? Let me clarify. I come from a family of worry warts. That's what I eventually learned to do as I got older and moved on with my own family. I'm a pro at it by now.

I've spent so much time in the what ifs; what if what I want doesn't make me happy, what if I don't get what I want then what, what if I fail when I try something and on and on I go. I know, who would readily admit to that neurosis. I could rephrase worries to... looking at everything from all directions. Doesn't that sound better? Or, how about searching out my options? How wonderful to be able to put that spin on words. However this blog is about my experience and I like to tell it like it is. Sometimes.

So, I'm a worry wart. I know it's negative prayers. I'm telling the Universe to give me more worries. What I think about expands. That's totally the opposite of what I want.   How do I get myself away or out of this type of behaviour?

I've read many books on the topic of worry and here are my suggestions. From experience. Distract yourself. Yeah, I know that's what you were trying to do before all this worrying took over. Read a book, watch some mindless tv, listen to music, take a walk, sing, exercise, paint, clean the house, whatever you choose to do, do it until you move out of your worry.

Use alternative methods to help yourself. There are many of them and maybe lavender essential oil will help you to calm down or get a full body massage. Massage is wonderful for calming the spirit and body. Why not try aromatherapy. Maybe acupressure or acupuncture would work wonders. I actually like doing acupressure myself especially when I'm worried about something.

My favourite way to help myself is just to have a good talk with my sis. She is the best person in my life that's always there for me. Find someone that you can really talk to or seek professional help if necessary. Being able to talk about what is on our mind provides an enormous relief and release of energy. It allows us to step back from the situation. When in need, talk it out.

Just know that worries can be dealt with. There are usually solutions to any problems that we have. We can't access them when worry takes over because it blocks. It cuts us off from resolving the situation. So the next time worries threaten to overtake you, use one of the solutions offered here.

Summer School

2011-07-05T06:35:00.001-04:00

image http://cd989.com/

The beauty of Summer is finally here. Long, hot, Summer days are ours to enjoy. In my son's case it's time to head to Summer school. Yep, he messed up with math big time. The usual happened. He skipped classes and didn't try because he had trouble understanding math. How many of our kids do that?

This month of July he has to sit in a hot class every day for the whole month from 8:30- 2:30. Now, he barely rouses at other times before noon. How the heck will I get him going to these classes? This is my dilemma. The Summer school is not even offered at his local school. He has to take the bus or ride his bike about 20 minutes to get to class. He is not motivated because he dislikes math and this is a condensed class for the credit. What to do!!!

Funny, even though I'm good with kids and it'd been part of my daily work life, when it comes to my own life, I yell, I get pissed and I shut down with my own kids. Where's all that wonderful social work teachings? Reason be damned! Emotions rule when it comes to my own kids. God, help me! I want to shake that kid of mine to wake up. All he has to do is to put in as much time as he's willing to put into his xbox game. He'll stay and play that game as long as it takes to win even if it means all night. That's the attitude that I want to see in this class. What a difference that would make.

So, I finally calmed down and sat down with him for a moment. I let him know that where he wants to go requires that math credit. A month is a short investment and it's about him reaching his goals. All he has to do is reach out and claim it.

Getting Older But Behaving More Ridiculous

2011-06-24T19:18:00.000-04:00

Yep, today I'm really getting it out there. Why are my kids getting older but behaving more ridiculous? Those tweeners and t'agers are a trip. Like, the kid has clothes in the closet but only 2 pairs of jeans get worn; next is, wearing only a t-shirt under the coat when it's freezing outside; or pulling the sleeves of the jacket over the hands when warm gloves are available in the backpack; how about no hat in sub zero temperatures; acting like Bieber is not their favourite singer; talking on the phone to her girlfriend before school when they are going to meet up and go to school together anyway.

Please help me to understand these kids before I go crazy. What is the motivation for some of the things that they do? I mean the craziest thing that I did was putting tartan on my jean jacket because I liked The Bay City Rollers. Remember them? Some Scottish laddies from the good old seventies who had a place in my heart because they were so cute.

My son decided again that he wanted to stretch his earlobes even more(see story on ear piercing http://chriseddy111.blogspot.com/2010/12/ear-piercing.html.). I mean, oh no, they weren't stretched out enough. Let's stretch the hell out of them some more so they can eventually pop. Now he's stretched them and they are a half inch. Take a look at the pic above and you will see what I mean. That's a mighty big hole for such little lobes don't you think? Well not to him.

Anyways, I've put my foot down and the guy in the tattoo and body piercing store gave it to him pretty raw about taking care of his earlobes and to leave them alone because he'd gone as far as he could. Will he listen? Only time will tell. Feel the pain then.

Know the story about a rebel in every family? In mine, it's the son. Thank goodness he hasn't hidden and gone ahead and gotten any piercings without letting me know. At least for that I can be thankful. He's got his other ideas about what he wants to do to his body and I'm leaving that until he's a little older. Maybe, just maybe, some sense will kick in by then.

Splendid Girls 7-16 Ditsy Floral Dress, Navy, 12 Splendid Girls 7-16 Always Skirt,Black,10
Fashion Design Portfolio
My Look: A Guide to Fashion & Style (Tween Lifestyle Collection)

Respect At Home

2011-06-20T06:15:00.000-04:00

What do you do as a mom, when you can't get any respect from your kids? I know that my children were taught and shown how to respect themselves, family and others along with many other values. Respect started at home as the mantra goes. So what happened?

I find that as my son has gotten older the disrespect has grown. The kind of disrespect that I'm talking about for example; talking back, arguing, refusing to do something when asked to, using language that is offensive, lying to me, walking away when being spoken to, hanging up the phone on me, and the list continues.

The thing is, I understand about the teen angst. We all have to live that to grow. He used to be so angry and some time has enabled him to calm that a little. Yet it still doesn't explain the reason for his rudeness and disrespect. I'm talking about my son more because he is the one that is displaying this behaviour more.

My daughter is occasionally disrespectful but when confronted will immediately apologize. My son on the other hand will continue even though he's called on his behaviour. Sometimes, we actually sit down together and have a conversation that explains what's happening with him. I'll explain where I'm coming from and how important respect is in our lives. Then he goes right back to doing the same things again.

If you're going to ask whether I've taken steps to rectify the problem, the answer is a resounding yes. I've taken away privileges, spoken to him as soon as the behaviour is displayed, yelled(which doesn't work but allows you to let some of that steam off.) and given the ultimatums and carried them through. Short of taking a switch to his behind(sounds darn good but he's too strong and old for me to make that happen)which would make me feel better but accomplish nothing. Violence breeds violence.

Where do I go from here? As I said above, I understand that during the teen years heightened emotions and feelings about one's life is swirling around like a dark cloud all of the time. He might feel that I'm always nagging him to do things and the big one, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM". He would be right. I don't have all of the answers. I'm learning as I go. There are books and articles abound on the Internet to help. Use parent groups and friends and family especially are always a storehouse of information.

Respect: A Girl's Guide to Getting Respect & Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed
Following the Rules: Learning about Respect (Character Education Readers)

Respect

End Of The World

2011-05-21T16:44:00.000-04:00

I'd been away for the week and upon my return on May 20th, several of my friends and family asked me about this end of the world news. I had no clue what they were talking about. No, I don't watch the news and I can help it. The party that I was with is a firm believer though in keeping up with the news. Every morning, he listened for his various sports scores and ensured that he heard the news from around the world. I was usually sitting at the table eating breakfast and reading my book while he sat glued to the tv. Occasionally, some of it filtered it's way into my peace.

I gave up watching the news a long time ago. Sure one needs to know the happenings of the world but it's not that important unless there's an invasion or war in my neck of the woods. All of the daily grind only serves to disrupt my "feel good", mentality. I want good news and positivity and that happens rarely on the news.

I came home and by the way, the 20th of May is my birthday; to what....bad news. Here, the family and friends greeted me with, "do you know that tomorrow is the end of the world?". To which I replied, "nope didn't hear a thing about it". The truth is, if today is the end of the world, at least I had a fabulous week, experienced another birthday and got the chance to write this bit about it. While I am at it, I'm enjoying a little of my favourite drink, Tia Maria on the rocks too.

So, I say cheers to May 21, 2011. I hope it brings you all of the goodness that you deserve and may we all live to see many more.

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T16:08:00.000-04:00

Happy Mother's Day! Blessings to all moms whether biological or otherwise. Your arms provide a safe and loving haven for your children; your smile lets them know that you care; your words offer comfort and positivity. There's no one that can compare to you. You are simply the best. You are mom.

You know, sometimes all of these special days seems trite but I never get tired of Mother's Day. Yeah, I know it's all commercialized and the average person feels compelled to participate. Know what though? We all come from one and why not celebrate that.

Memories return of my mom whispering words about how I would behave during certain situations or having her say "you'll see when you are a mom". One that stands out is that no matter what the situation to use my heart to guide me. If I had to pass out advice, that info would be it. We get caught in judging and using our head to deal with our kids but coming from the heart we make the best decisions.

In most cases moms do know best. Why? Experience. That's it. Experience, the mother of all lessons learned. As we have more children, we remember what worked and we improve on that.

Well, if you are a married mom I hope that your husband and the kids brought you breakfast in bed and you get the royal treatment all day. I hope that they appreciate you and show that they care every day.

For single parents, of which I am included, we hope that our kids will come to realise that mom deserves a break too. Again Happy Mother's Day to all.

Parenting My Teen

2011-04-13T04:41:00.000-04:00

My son, who is sixteen years old, is in a state of confusion. He told me that in those same words. He told me that he doesn't know where he's supposed to be and what he should be doing with his life. He wonders why others have their lives all mapped out and he's the opposite.

Turning sixteen recently, has seemed to mark the experience more vividly for him. He's someone whom I observe to be either far left or right but nothing in the middle. I know that that's a weird explanation but let me clarify. When he feels things they seem extreme or not at all. When he's upset it's usually with so much fire that he has to take a walk to cool off. There's no balance it seems. It's one way or the other. He does things with such passion or none at all. He's bored or he's out riding and doing jumps for hours at the skate park. He can sit at his computer and play his games all day long without going to bed.

He has so many cuts and bruises from doing stunts on his bike. He's broken his jaw and a few knuckles, although not from biking and it didn't even faze him. He had to spend five days in the hospital to rewire his jaws and he ate out a straw, literally for a week or two because his mouth was wired shut. He's knocked himself out biking because he wouldn't wear a helmet and still doesn't. He's the biggest adrenaline junkie that I know of.

Do other parents have this experience with their teenager? Is it just boys that act this way? Is it their personality? I understand what the teen years bring about. I do remember feeling lots of angst about where I was going and what to do with my life also. My emotions changed from moment to moment. I was in a state of upheaval constantly. I think I asked myself the big question of " Why Am I Here?". I don't remember if I got the answer then either.

As "the parent", we fight about his doing chores, getting home on time, his sloppiness and other endless stuff. Recently, we sat down, after he had taken a walk because "he needed to calm down", he says. I tend to believe there was more there. We sat down and he was actually talking about his feeling very confused at this point in his life. He tried to explain his passion for biking. I got a little peek into his thoughts.

I guess my job is just to keep doing what I do. That is to listen, aid if and when I can and to give back all of the love that is in my heart to give. He will eventually decide who, what, where, when and why, when the time is right for him.

Road Champs BXS:Stunt Biking
Stunt Junkies Season 2 - Episode 22: Moving Van Backflip
Red Bull Rampage - 5 DVD Box Set
Action Sports Helmet Camera (30FPS)

Single Parenting and A New Bf

2011-03-28T22:02:00.000-04:00

My life has changed. A little bit. Ok, maybe a lot. I recently met someone after a long, long time alone. It was partly by choice. The alone time, that is. It's taken me a big slice of time to actively seek to find someone.

I can only speak for myself and say that before, during and after a divorce, so much of myself was physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually shaken. It's such a dramatic shift from being a couple to being single again. That whole shift has taken me quite sometime to get used to. Change is inevitable. Sometimes it takes a long time in coming. But eventually it arrives. We can choose to embrace it or fight it.

I went searching for this new friend online since it's the new meeting place. I kept an open mind because why should I place limits on where to find friendship. Online is just as good as any other place such as the store, park, or club. Granted these places call for person to person contact. All I had to do was agree to meet somewhere public to decide if I liked the person and wanted to stick around. That said, safety is necessary in any situation.

One of the biggest deals with having someone new in my life is deciding whether he should meet my kids. That has to do with whether I expect our relationship to be a long term one. So far, he's been staying away from them because I'm not ready for them to meet each other. He's been good about the whole thing and just sees me as a cautious parent since he's been through that already.

I want us to remain good friends right now and I'm not in a hurry to make any drastic changes like moving in with him. He's a good guy and he's genuine. Still, the rabbit in my sign urges me to take things nice and slow.

March 11th Earthquake & Tsunami in Japan

2011-03-16T11:36:00.001-04:00

My deepest sympathies to all the people who have loved ones in Japan. I and those watching from outside the country have no idea what it's like to go through such a disaster. Many lives have been lost and still many more are unaccounted for. Please know that you are in our prayers and that whatever help we can offer will be delivered to you.

Last Friday, I woke up to disbelief that a massive earthquake and tidal wave had wrought destruction to a part of our world. So many natural disasters around the world. What is truly going on? What is it all about? Why now? I don't have the answers except to say that there's a cleansing going on. It's sad to know that cleaning means that some will be lost in this lifetime. In my thinking it's like crying. When you cry you release whatever has been bothering you and then you feel refreshed. Same goes for these events happening around the world. It's just hard to understand because many lives have been lost and will be lost during the time of this and many disasters.

What happens in a crisis is that people come together. It unites them with a common goal and everyone starts communicating, sharing and helping.

I read a fellow hubber's hub and he wrote about the disaster. He mentioned that we as human beings have to help in whatever way that we can. Some people, he said, questioned whether the U.S. should help Japan because it seems that they were not as forthcoming during hurricane Katrina's reign. He put it back on the level of helping because we can. It's easy to be mean and vindictive and to see everything as a slight when it's really not that way at all. Come back to love people. Love. We can show love by doing all that we can. Who's to say where the next disaster will strike again. Don't we want the world to reach out to us in any way that they can?

March Break

2011-03-15T20:47:00.000-04:00

You know I was so tucked into my own little world this week that I almost missed having a say about the March Break.

Well everyone, it's March Break, lol. As if you didn't already know. If you are like me and you have children, then yup, you knew that, since about Friday last week. See, last week was the day the kids started their whining and lamenting that it was gonna be the break and what did we have planned. A, I had nothing planned and B, they can find their own activities to occupy them. They are not babies anymore!! You know! They have lots of friends. I'm too old to worry my little, old head.

Today, my daughter went to the park to hang with her friends and tonight she's out enjoying Rango, at the movies with her friend. My son took off to visit his friend earlier today and this evening he's been glued to his game on the computer. At intermission times for his game he just makes his way into the kitchen to reload up on snacks and then back to the game without a hello to anyone. Of course what does he need me for? All of his friends are on there too just like his x box game. See how these games encourage our kids into a world unto themselves? Of course I'm not complaining too much, you understand. This way I can hear as little of his mouth as possible. Yipee! Yep, and I am a mom. Happy March Break to you too.

Flu

2011-02-27T15:22:00.000-05:00

Well, I need some new ideas about how to get rid of this flu/cold from our household. It started with my kids because we all know that school is the culprit for so much malady. First my daughter got sick and then it just kept making the rounds in the house. Now after resisting it for so long, I've succumbed too.

The thing is, that I take my vitamin A, C, D, etc. Mind you I have been messing up lately by not taking them regularly or every day. My loyal followers know that I yap about getting a cold all the time. Just flick back in my archives and you'll find out.

My sis visited me today and refused to enter because we all have a cold. I can't say that I blame her because she is someone that seems to get the worst of everything when she gets sick. One year, she got the flu shot and shortly after had a bout of the flu. She was so sick that she had to drag herself to the doctor for medication. It took about three weeks or more before she got rid of it.

Don't worry sis, I love you and understand completely. You have to protect yourself. It's all good.

Maybe we need to get rid of whatever bad energy that is hanging around. Sort of like fumigating the place by using prayers or something to clear it out. Lord knows we need something. Have any suggestions?

I'm so looking forward to Spring because it means we can open our windows again. All winter we are cooped up inside with unnatural heat and precious little circulation except the areas where some wintry air gets in. You know, we all know about trapping the heat inside to stay warm and keep the bills down. Yet it's times like this that you realize that good circulation is important too.

Spring hurry up because we truly need your breath of fresh air. Literally.

Cell Phones

2011-01-19T21:26:00.000-05:00

I've been wanting to get myself a new cell phone for awhile now. The only problem is that I really did not want to get tied up to any particular company for any length of time.

I was in a 3 year contract with one of the largest carriers here in Ontario and it was not all a grand experience. Before that, I had used their prepaid or pay as you go service. I actually like that service to a certain extent. What I found was that I was paying more and using more than I wanted to so that's when I switched to the 3 year contract.

Both of my kids now have their own cell phones, with me paying for them of course. I decided to use the prepaid. Who knew they would get so hung up on it(pardon the pun).

Put a cell phone in a kid's hands and you get 400 text messages in a day. I'm just speechless at the whole experience. What the heck do they have to chat about so much? They already spend all day with their friends at school.

I took a look at my daughter's phone and there were these one or two words short texts to and from her friends. They are just having the time of their lives though.

My son's phone never seems to stop vibrating. He'll be asleep in the middle of the night and still there's someone texting him and I'll hear the darn thing going off.

I'm not sorry that they each have their own phone because I'm able to check up on them and put my fears to rest. I can instantly lock in on them and tell them to get home when necessary. It's definitely a good safety tool. Now all I have to get over is how easy all this technology has come to mean in our lives. Can we still live without them?

X Box Craze

2011-01-13T02:41:00.001-05:00

Mom' s log: Stardate January 13, 2011, time 1:50 a.m. What? Are you crazy? No, but my son is. He's glued to his x box and won't go to sleep.

It seems that whenever they, meaning my kids, have a new toy they have to wear it out. Actually, for that matter the list includes clothes, shoes, music, phone(Speaking of phone the kid had over 400 text messages in one day. Is that a new record? Please tell me if you have the answer to this puzzling question.)and you understand a little now. Except that maybe you don't, unless you are the proud owner of one or more kids.

Where were we again? Oh yeah, wearing things out and that means always wearing the same new thing out. They will wear it every day as if its the only thing that's in their closet. Long forgotten are the many others hiding in the closet. All they can see is that new thing. What happens, is that after tons of washes that new article of clothing belongs in the heap.

Back to the x box. Yeah, so there he is from the time he gets home from school to bedtime playing. He received his shiny, new, play toy for Christmas. So guess what? He was on it from sun up to sun down as if it provided life sustaining energy. Could you tear him away? No way because all of his friends were on it too. How lovely! They can chat with friends near and as far away as the other side of the world because they are online. Yipee! Now try telling him to get off. What do you get? The icy glare as if you just asked him to clean his room or the bathroom.

"Mam, I think what you got here is a case of x box itis". Does your child sit and stare at the x box screen while clicking away on a controller and chatting happily with friends? Check. Does he refuse to come for dinner when called? Check. Does he refuse to get up and do his normal chores? Check. Is there an icy glare when you demand that he follow through with your instructions? Check.

No doubt about it then. He's definitely caught it. What's the cure? Several days of withdrawal treatment and he might be fine. That is, if you can stand the silent treatment and more of those icy glares.

Well moms and dad good luck on that one and be sure to let me know how that goes. As for me, maybe he'll get tired of that game sometime soon.

Happy New Year Again

2010-12-30T11:04:00.001-05:00

Here we are again, right back where we were last year. A new year has snuck up on us without us realizing it.

2010, was one of many disasters and shifts on the planet. In Chinese Astrology, it was the year of the metal tiger which will finally end February 2, 2011. Time for the upheavals and bad news to go.

In my life, it was mainly a struggle with a patch of good news on my home front. All of the things that I've been wishing, hoping and praying for have been coming in ever so slowly. Trickling really. Too damn slow for me.

What happened to that Law of Attraction? I guess it's been broken in 2010. Figures!! Just when I find out about it, it stops working. Too many people overusing it, I guess, for billions of dollars for war and its counterparts.

Thank God for 2011. Hello peace. This year will be the Year of the Metal Rabbit. Nations will come together and healing will begin. Calm again.

In my case, I'm a water rabbit and we like peace and tranquility. So everything should be coming up roses and I am a Black rose too.

Happy New Year and may it be a blessed year for you all.

Christmas time

2010-12-25T22:14:00.000-05:00

Christmas, what a wonderful time of year! As in everything, there are always those who are less fortunate than myself. I'm aware of it.

Not everyone shares the view that this time of year is marvelous. Some find themselves alone without family or friends. This can make it a depressing time.

According to The Canadian Mental Health Association this is indeed the most depressing time of year for somOne people. It is not however a time when the suicide rate is any higher. What the Christmas seasons brings on is a need to have family and friends nearby.

If you know of someone who is alone this Christmas maybe they could use a kind word or an invitation to dinner.

On my end, family is so very much appreciated. It's good to know that no matter the season, I'm never alone.

Christmas

2010-12-19T19:56:00.000-05:00

Five days until Christmas or six depending on your counting method. The mall has been overcrowded. My feet are tired from the long hours spent trolling the stores for deals. Come to think of it my wallet is too.

Christmas is a crazy time of year. We buy all kind of things that people may never use but repeat the madness year after year.

I don't know when the people in my family chose to go back to giving presents. I mean we always gave to our kids but buying for each other had been scaled back to one cheap present. Yet here we are again. I find that it's too much work. Don't get me wrong because I had fun shopping and gift giving is a wonderful tradition but it puts too much pressure on us to find gifts.

I don't know if I'm in the minority, in the family, in feeling this way because I've never asked. Something that I need to think about doing.

Anyways come Saturday, which is Christmas day it won't make a bit of difference and then Sunday it'll be all over until the next year.

Ear Piercing

2010-12-07T14:00:00.000-05:00

My son J

My son finally got what he wanted. He's been wanting to get his ears pierced or in his case, have those stretchers in his ears. Think African or tribes form South America and voila.

Off he went last week with my money to get his gauge piercings. It always has been about expression and style. He's making his known.

Pain doesn't seem to faze him He broke his jaw several years ago and he didn't even have water in his eyes.

So when he returned, I asked him how it felt and he told me that he'd just sat there and all he felt were slight twinges. I don't know. When I got my nose done, water sprang into my eyes. I mean the first time that you feel that needle enter your skin it takes you by surprise and it's painful too. Here he got a chunk of his skin taken out of his ear and he didn't bat an eye.

He looks good with his black ball closure earrings. Now all he has to do is take good care of his ears to avoid any infection.

He's not done though because when his ears have healed he wants to stretch them to a bigger style. KIDS!

Volunteer Experience

2010-11-27T22:53:00.000-05:00

For the past three months, I've been a volunteer in a local elementary school. I've been working in a mixed grade 1/2 classroom. The children ranged from ages 7 to 8 years old. Within that class, there were children that are classified as autistic and others with behavioural problems.

The class has two teachers. One works in the morning and the other in the afternoon. An Educational Assistant works with the children who need the extra care such as those with autistic and behavioural issues .

In this classroom, there happened to be 3 such children. This is no simple position in my opinion that the EA has to deal with. As anyone who has prior knowledge knows, it's not easy with the so called "regular" kids but try doing it with three who have other "disabilities".

Anyway, I've been involved in their class on a regular basis two days a week and now it's almost over. I can hardly believe it. I've been having a darn good time.

My whole experience has been a positive one. I've enjoyed supervising them during lunch, being on the playground to watch them at play and interacting with them in the classroom.

I'm really gonna miss those little faces and miss helping them with their work. I got used to them and learned all of their names.

I'm a little sad that it's ending but hey I'm welcoming more experiences of my choosing into my life.

It's Over Now

2010-11-14T07:29:00.000-05:00

Well, I really wasn't going to blog about this but it's my blog so what the heck.

I just found out that I am legally divorced now. How do I feel? Yipee!! Hooray!! It's just good to be out of all of that negative energy. To finally have to put it away on the back shelf never to be seen again. No scratch that. To close the door on that for the last time. Yes, much better.

Marriage is a beautiful experience. Divorce is another experience. My experience has been extremely emotional and in some parts negative and hurtful.

I choose to let it go and to start feeling good in this moment. It's a choice and once you make it, so much worry and stress is lifted from you.

Every experience and every choice allows us to choose who we want to be. For me, it's loving, kind, joyful, playful and just being me.

I used to smile and laugh a lot and instead I became sad and carried the weight around like bricks on my shoulders.

I don't know how it happened because over time I moved away from what was good and into fear. Fear, (false evidence appearing real) took away my joy for five years.

During that time I went through all that I needed to. That's why I'm finally in a better place literally and spiritually.

Thank you Universe for always supporting me even though I felt otherwise. You always know what's best.

Divorce Me, Darling! (1997 Chichester Cast) Just Divorce License Plate - State of Freedom
Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way He's History, You're Not: Surviving Divorce After 40
Divorce Party Invitations

School Policy

2010-11-03T21:26:00.026-04:00

Today, I so have to beach about dumb school policies. They, meaning the school board, principal etc, etc certainly know how to go overboard on school policy.

Well for Canada, the Education Act and The Safe School Act, along with the particular school boards says under what conditions a student can be suspended or expelled from school.

What really gets to me is that within the act there's a more or less blanket statement that allows the school to get away with almost anything. Read this.

Any other activity that is an activity for which a principal may suspend a pupil under a policy of the board. 2007, c. 14, s. 4.

I've been reading about students who get punished by being suspended for dumb things like wearing a t-shirt that has a saying that another finds inappropriate or using a word like "gay" to describe same sex families.

Why the need to use excessive punishment? What happened to simply talking to the student? How does sending the student home for several days help the student to be better at relating to other? How do we explain the idiocy of some school rules?

Now, I'm not talking about students who intend to harm others, bully or defame the character of someone. These issues need to be strictly dealt with.

The excessive use of punishment is used instead of working with students to enable them to learn and grow and to focus on improving their behaviour.

I guess it's seen as easier to use the harsher, quicker school disciplinary measures than taking time out with our students.

What is our world coming to? Used to be, you'd only get sent to the office if you'd done something terrible like saying f. u. to the teacher. Then you'd had to apologize before you could go back to class. Today you'd probably get suspended for three days or more.

I'm just saying, what a crock.

Mothers' Day Off

2010-11-02T20:05:00.000-04:00

We need a national holiday. We'll call it Mothers' Day Off. I can just hear it now. All of the talks and snickers about why we need another holiday and what makes mothers so special.

Well, if I have to spell it out then Ima do it. We are special because through us, we give birth to nations. Let's see guys do that! Some of them wouldn't be able to watch a child being born without wanting to pass out, lol.

What about the pain and stress before we even get to giving birth. Nah, they wouldn't even be able to take that.

We are special because mother's instinct and intuition gives us the many tools to care for all of our love ones. Our warmth and love can overcome many obstacles. Mom, is always there through thick and thin.

Mama, is special because only she remembers just how you like your eggs done or your favourite dish that she never fails to make on Sundays.

On your birthday she remembered that you wanted that WII game and there it is when you open your present.

When you get a cut from falling off of your bmx, she's sure to fix it up without you getting the "ouchies".

Even though there's a Mother's Day, it's not a day of rest for mom. We still have to do everything as before.

With a national Mothers' Day Off, moms could stay at home with pay and maybe get a little more respect coming our way. Dads would work as usual and see what it's like in the workplace without all of the wonderful women that are also moms.

Thank you to the many moms that work 24/7, at home and in the workplace to provide for their families. You are special and you deserve a special day. Heck, you deserve love, respect, caring and so much more.

If I could, I'd give you that one special day to show you how much you truly deserve. Moms, you're the best.

No disrespect to the many dads that hold both positions of mom and dad because mom is not in the picture.

Happy Halloween

2010-10-30T23:07:00.000-04:00

pic from Holidays.com

I'm getting ready for this Halloween thingamajig. I spent about thirty dollars on candy to give away at the door. Now, this is not among my favourite holiday. I happen to think that the day could be spent on other things but hey, my kids enjoy going door to door for candy.

When I was a kid, my parents refused year after year to let my siblings and I cavort with others on this day. I never actually had that experience of going door to door as a youngster.

Fast forward to my kids and it's been a part of their lives from the beginning. When they were small, the local mall had trick or treat within it and the kids went from store to store. They also put on activities for the wee ones. It was much safer than taking them door to door.

As my kids grew, I took them to neighbors and friends. Then they started going with their friends.

The fun thing about this day though, is the costume parties that take place. Although some of the costumes are lame or disgusting, it's still fun dressing up and having a good time. Alas, this year, yours truly will be at home handing out the candy and checking out the gory costumes.

There are no graves, spider's web or gross me out stuff on or near our door, so that will definitely keep away some of the kids. I know for sure that my kids' will show up with some of their friends.

As you head out, remember to be safe and to follow some of the rules to keep yourself safe.
For the kids; don't enter anyone's home unless they are good friends of yours and check the candy before eating.

Happy Halloween!

Star Wars Secret Wishes Princess Leia Slave Costume, Brown, M (10/12)
Halloween [Blu-ray]
Buccaneer Babe Costume, Black, X-Small
The Night Before Halloween
Shrinky Dinks Halloween Fun