My thoughts my mind.. what the ............

Days of innocence......

2016-05-30T10:01:00.002-07:00

I see you all having a good time together... i remember

Not long ago we were kids...How things have changed.. We have become men.. with kids and families of our own.. Time and life has driven us across continents...

Remember all four of us going to school in our Blue shorts and white shirts.. Far away from fashion or the things that make the world go round..
Biggest worry the impending school exams. The biggest joy playing cricket with classmates... Do anything to avoid the first and acheive the second..

Remember the time when we used to drive the history teacher mad so that she would give us time out and one by one all the 13 boys would be sent out..
the last one out always carried the Bat and the ball to play cricket. :).. Remember the time when the Maths teacher would say write Given and to Prove in our geometry tests so that at least we would get some marks.. he beleived we were good for nothing... So many memories.. All of then inconsequential in the day and age we live in...

Yet those memories linger.. bonds remain and friendships endure..

We who have seen so much.. There is more to live and see..

To my freinds... live on and remember

Cause i do...

Here's to old friends and new life...

Cheers
gaiijin

Its a Girl !!!

2015-07-13T21:17:00.001-07:00

I used to think all babies look alike... wondered if it was a boy or a Girl that i saw in the picture i wrote about a while back. I hoped it was a boy.

Boy was i wrong....

Been blessed with an angel of a daughter i just realized how different it feels to hold your child. A being so tiny yet i already see personality and attitude..

I guess thats the joy of parenthood. One must endure to enjoy... My wife if she reads this would give me the eye for alluring to the period of pregnancy as enduring.. Believe me enduring was being modest . A pregnant woman is another being... but that is a topic for another day.

For now i still desire to live and enjoy the little smiles my angel give me from time to time..

You brought joy to my life.. i know the pains are round the corner.. Yet, I wouldn't have it any other way...

Like i said one must Endure to enjoy...

Here's to Alannah my daughter..

Kanbei !

Gaiijin

Love is like a Dog.. Different isn't it ... :)

2013-07-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen a lazy idle dog bite anyone . But even lazy idle dogs bite when they get get bothered or irritated ...

Love is that Dog that we bother so much even when it is happy playing with you that it ends up first with a warning growl and trying to bite without hurting and then a real good bite where it hurts the most...

Our expectations get so ahead of us that we ignore the warnings and get bitten for real... We don't let things be and be happy..

When have you really seen a person happy in love... CONTINUOUSLY

So either way love bites .. Enjoy while the happiness lasts cause surely we will end up looking for the unhappiness..

Old Chinese Saying "be careful what you wish for"...
"You just might get it"

cheers !

Gaiijin

A story with with a perspective....

2013-07-14T12:16:00.001-07:00

There is this story about a couple a man and a woman, who loved each other to eternity, married to each other for 30-40 Yrs.

Then one day the woman falls ill and is on her death bed. The Gods are so moved by their love for each other that they come and talk to the man and tell him... "Look your mate's time has come and she has to die.

What can we do help",we cannot extend her life.. The man thinks long and hard and his gaze falls on the tree in his courtyard and he says. "When my love dies let her soul reside in the tree yonder. So be it say the GODS and the woman dies... Every day the man longingly waters the tree, sits in the shade and talks to tree and in return the woman's soul talks back and they are happy again.. After a while they feel that it is not the same as before and they pray to the Gods.

The gods appear and ask what they want.. So the man says if my love's soul has to reside somewhere let it reside in me so that we shall be together all the time. The Gods say that it is not possible as one body cannot have two souls. The couple finally make the GODS agree. The Gods put the woman's soul into the man. For a while they are happy and then after a few days the man stops eating and he dies. Their son asks the Gods why did my dad stop eating and why did he die.

The God says, their souls were together, their thoughts were one. Their pains now were multiple.

There was nothing more to share, there was nothing left to live for...

Gaiijin

Memories of a time 8 years Ago...

2013-07-14T12:08:00.003-07:00

"Love is elusive.... It is fleeting feeling of longing and loss. Sometimes exhilaration and Bliss... sometimes unfathomable sorrow...

Love is when you want to be with a person anytime and every time despite the fact that you end up feeling all o the above...

Love is walking the woods together just not speaking out... or sometimes love is walking in the woods alone not feeling that you are alone because you are in love...

Love is..... I guess we are all suckers for pain, because it makes us realize the joy we miss when we are not with the person we love...

In the End love is that elusive thing that keeps us all alive...

Love is.. ?

Well Love is........... "

Gaiijin

Boy or a Girl...

2013-05-03T11:10:00.000-07:00

Life, hopes & dreams.. One day I was such a baby !

Now this is what I wrote in Facebook and then realized that it was probably not the right place for being honest.. More about that sometime else... When i look at the picture, I see me as a child holding on to my Dad' hand.. Why do i think this is a Boy Dunno...

Just a feeling perhaps.. The grip around the finger is strong. Such a strong statement from a being so tiny.. Wish I had one of my own.. Would have been great to share a Life

Would have been magical to see a part of me growing up...

Who knows .. Maybe.. Maybe...

Que Sera Sera...

...

A New day A New Beginning..

2013-05-03T11:07:00.000-07:00

Monday morning... going to work i drive through a road by a canal with trees on one side.. A little foggy t'was with the temperature at 4C. This is a secluded road with a canal on one side and trees on the other...
Considering that its a really really lonely stretch at the night they have a police outpost...

Normally i do not have the time of the day for the guys there ( Are you surprised considering ho much they are effective in their jobs?)

As I was about to cross the check post two men huddling in their respective blankets smiling, waved me a hand to stop me . I rolled down the window a little bit.. one of the Guys spoke.. He said "Sir could you please give me a lift to the end of the road".. looking at him shuddering in the cold , couldn't bring myself to say no.. So i asked him.. "Are you a cop/.. he said yes".. so i asked him to get in and started driving...

The guy was in his early twenties, from Hissar , Haryana worked for Delhi police... We started chatting and i asked his where was he off to.. He said Saket court and said i have to reach there by 10:00 Am .. Twas already 9:30 Am. He started talking about how his day starts at 7:00 am and finishes at 9:00 pm.. Asked him where he was lodged, He told me When i am late ( which is every day) i sleep in the police station on the bench.. He was quite keen and yet looked so motivated towards his work.

Are all of us human? Sometimes am ashamed to say i am one...

2013-01-06T12:03:00.000-08:00

A lot has been said about the brutal case in Delhi... Read an article in the HT Delhi which talked about this not being for pleasure but, for the pleasure he ability to cause such extreme pain gives some people.. . This was a sadistic act where all the effort was made to give pain almost like a torture. Is our society turning people into sadists where the slightest freedom lets them lose their values and become sadists?

It is a slur on humanity and even animals conduct themselves better. These people forgot every sense of of human value they had when they committed this crime.. They are like a rot which has to be cut away before the body becomes healthy again... My deepest condolences for the family..

Hope that those responsible be given the maximum punishment and hope they suffer while this punishment is exercised so that no other my dare contemplate such an act...

May her soul rest in peace...

Gaiijin

We See what we want to...

2012-12-31T22:50:00.001-08:00

My previous post talked about love and betrayal. had a few comments there from people. Most considered the post in light of a romantic betrayal. Love exists in many forms, between brother & Sister, Mother and children etc etc... It could be real or perceived.. But its real for the person who feels it.. Think of what a betrayal would feel in such a relationship..

Devastating isnt it.. Yet it shows us how resilient we are as human beings...

gaiijin...

betrayal and Love or is it betrayal of love

2012-12-30T12:53:00.000-08:00

Makes you wonder isn't it.. Should it be love n betrayal or should it be betrayal of love.... I guess there cannot be betrayal without love.. And boy does it hurt... it does. Had a friend go through it recently.. One can see the pain visibly.. That the hurt of disappointment .. of a sense of loss which cannot be explained... Luckily for my friend she had someone who loved her immensely stand by her to hold her hand.and make her laugh despite her tears.... I guess it is in such times one finds out who loves you and will stand by you..

I can see better times ahead for her and hope when my time come. Am as lucky as she was... Given a choice i'd rather be kicked by a mule..

C'est la vie....

gaiijin

Jealousy is an awesome emotion...

2012-11-12T08:57:00.003-08:00

I don't feel jealous.. How many times have we heard that.. Especially from guys.. I guess that's a very macho statement.... Only women are supposed to feel jealous... Is that for real...

I dunno.. Jealousy is an emotion to be felt for one to realize the power of truth.. I have seen one of my male friends feel jealous.. Trying to explain it in a management parlance.. Jealousy is a lagging indicator..

Suffice to say Only those in love can feel jealous..

So would it be fair to say that if you are jealous you are in love.. !

I didn't say that .. those in love did..

Here's to love and strong emotions..

Be jealous.. and proud...

:)

Good Friends Are Like Old Wine....

2012-09-16T02:22:00.000-07:00

A long time ago.. there was I running down the track hard and trying to bowl fast on a dirt pitch with an old ball.. The ball was swinging and I was in the moment... I hear a comment "that was good bowling".. There was this guy who used to come watch us practice every day..

He says my name is Sanj** and i used to play at Matunga in Mumbai.. Can we be friends and play together.. We became friends and had some great times together... We drifted apart as we grew older as we both tried to achieve our goals in life... Living in the same neighborhood, we never kept in touch...

Time went by.... 5 years.... A few weeks back as i walked out of the ATM i see a familiar face so i walk up to the guy and say hi. Its my friend Sanj**.. He says let bygones be man.. i was hoping to see you at my dad's anniversary.. Unfortunately i just didn't know.... I said am sorry but its just life.. I didn't know... We agreed to catch up..

Catch up we did.. Old grudges were forgotten.. All we remembered was the good things that we did and the laughs we had... Where would we find friends like that now.. Time changes everything but good friends and old friendships.. We keep in touch now as if no time has passed between us..

Whenever you open a bottle of wine it reminds of you when it was bottled... memories of a time captured in a bottle..

Good old friendships are like that. Am happy for good friends and old friendships..

Am grateful....

A Cup o Coffee or a compliment...

2012-07-27T21:11:00.000-07:00

I have this friend and she just loves her coffee....

Before getting her nails done and stuff she has to wait .. she decides to get her coffee.. There she was in the coffee shop struggling to get her coffee.. The till wasnt working... and the aroma of coffe in the shop that the others were having making her a bit antsy i guess and the fact that she had to get her stuff done .. Despite all that going on she stood by the side waiting patiently for the till to get fixed.. She sees two guys walk up to her with coffee in their hand... both perfect strangers..

One of them says Hi .. and yada yada yada.. then he says "You look gorgeous and i couldnt take my eyes of you, just wanted to say this to you " My friend thanked the guy and He walked on wishing her well..

Now this friend is a proper lady, has a wonderful personality, pretty and is the kind that when she smiles, things around her just light up.. So she tends to be wary of people and their come ons...

However this incident just made her day.. Everything else was forgotten.. the nails not done, the coffee not available and the other irritants.. The day just looked to be amazing...

I guess everyone can do with a good compliment . It is the sincerity and the lack of any expectation for the compliment that makes it into a compliment rather than a cheap one liner... Thank you gentlemen for making the difference...

So is it the coffee that starts a good day.. Nescafe would agree...

Me..

I'll take a compliment any day...

Cheers....

Life is a freight train

2012-07-26T11:02:00.001-07:00

Life.. its various ups and downs... Joys and Disappointments.. If you ask someone .. How is it going.. Mostly people will respond with something one way or the other .. rarely will one come across someone who will say i dunno.. We all seem to know how the life is going for us... Yet when i look back a few weeks and think where i was.. I never imagined i would be where i am today.. Its been really good.. Surprised yes .. pleasantly so...

Life has a momentum of its own.. One thing to the next, it builds up .. Sometimes it just leaves us in the dump and sometimes it just makes us reach the skies..

life .. Eh....

or is it the people we meet...

Hmmm.. sets me thinking...

A wisp of memory across time....

2012-07-21T23:02:00.001-07:00

My Sister's come on a visit with her l'il one .. All of one and a half years old and such a bundle of energy... Mom was reminiscing and looking at old pictures.. Black and White ones too.. Came across this one... It is truly amazing..

Looking at the picture... watching my sister and her l'il one.... wondered .. what was my mom thinking when she was holding me... What dreams was she creating for me .. How have things turned out ... We all know our parents as just that .. Parents.. Looking at her now and the picture then i realized for the first time the enormity of the journey she made from the innocent girl she was to being my mom.. The dreams she had, the joys she lived and sacrificed despite all of that, the love that she gave me..

Hope in some way i have come close to her dreams of me. A small return for her lifelong love and service to her child..

I think I have..here is is to all the mothers in the world. There are none like you..

We are but an essence of you..

When things are right............

2011-10-08T06:17:00.000-07:00

When you are at peace. Nothing bothers you.. All the mean people you met in your life.. The guy overtaking from the left.. Corrupt politicians or the naive do gooders...

What is different. perhaps it is the easy acceptance , the awesome camaraderie or the connection and the understanding of the things left unsaid.. There is neither strife nor competition.

Just an easy acceptance of the other person and a nice feeling of comfort..

It is said that some amount of strife is important to make it spicy. Guess people are so scared of letting go
and believing in others that they justify a lot of stuff.. There is more than enough strife in the world around us.

All the things which were wrong are right.. I guess it is all about finding that right connection.
Does this mean that there is nothing more left to aspire for......

Guess not.. All it means is that now is the time to aspire for greater things in life and enjoy the feeling of making a dent in this world however small that may be.. No point in achievement without recognition..

They say comfort develops in time but then those who believe that don't want to give themselves that choice.

I have paid for my comfort in pain. I have fought for my choice.

Here's back at life..

Cheers..

Connections.......

2011-09-04T00:11:00.000-07:00

Most of the times what you give is what you get...

We meet people. Sometimes we connect.. sometimes we don't...

When we do, Its like a freight train. The relationship has a life of its own .. If it is across genders.It is truly amazing..
No thoughts before every word and no analysis after. A momentum which is enjoyable.. It is just so easy and comfortable..

What is this connection how do we find it.. Why is it that sometimes it is there amd on some it is not.

Why is it that 9 out of 10 times, people mention close friends in their own gender as people they connect with amazingly.. And am talking about straight people here..

We as human beings are very sensitive, sensitive to moods, color, light, smells and even temperature. How many times have we stood next to a person and felt their body heat and felt comfortable or uncomfortable.. And these are such subtle inputs.. Even then we react to them...

So if you are a doubting Tom, enjoy playing power games or put people down .. Its never gonna work.. But then these sorry excuses for human beings have no reason to be out looking for a connection...

looking back .. Comfortable, confident, free and easy, interesting.. Now these are the words that come to my mind.

What further complicates a cross gender relationship are the expectations and the lack of acceptance..

Easy come easy go.. Comfortable silences and a calm acceptance..

Life becomes interesting again.

Connections...

Nice.....

Here' to great connections and good friends. Arigato..

I beleive, I can..........

2011-09-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

Belief can move mountains, or so my mom used to tell me...

And I used to think even grownups lie... How can thought move mountains...?

I just realized it does... Relationships, tasks, people, the things that we believe are important bother us, motivate us ... makes us sad or happy... Mountains of our life...

Should what other people think affect my life... Nah not... Been there done that... So do I need to prove anything...? Except to me... Not!!!!.............

Things that I used to care for, just realized was such a load of nonsense... Just other people trying superimpose their twisted version of what is important? I have found my sense of balance...

It’s like a witch and the spell of enchantment... The spell is broken and I see it for the old hag she is...

I believe... I can... I will........

Life… Here’s my universal sign of peace...

You know what that is....

Blogs are for Bloggers

2011-08-26T13:22:00.000-07:00

When one thinks back, one can see other blogs to realise how true it is. We write all kinds o stuff comfortable in the fact that we can always refute whatever reaction we receive by stating the fact that this is a personal place . Right is what we think is right.

Matter of fact that we are screaming for attention .

What is even more interesting is when people write to justify and substantiate their personality. It is so funny especially when you actually know the person.. Most of the blogs are an an exact opposite of the personality behind it.. Is it alter ego..

Why do i write.. Am i screaming for attention.. Does this make you think..

Are you.. in the deepest of your hearts questioning things.. Do you see your face in the mirror..

I see mine..

o|o

A lie or the truth

2011-08-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

I have a dear old friend who, in his relationships, would always says things that are convenient to avoid conflicts. I used to get so exasperated listening to him.

He used to look at me smile, and and say, some day you will understand...

To what extent will one go to maintain a truth..
Sometimes you get into a situation where the other person feels that what you say is untruthful. They are so sure. Now, it could be a perceived sense of righteousness or a strong sense of gut feel based on previous experiences in life . So strong are their convictions that they choose to put it to a choice to win it or to lose it all..

What is so difficult about accepting something that is not right.. It should be a no brainier when faced with such dire consequences.. Why do people die for what they believe is right..

I guess people die because both sides believe they are right and don't want to let go of their version of truth...

So truth can kill you.. Oops set you free i mean..

Lie ... And lie with with conviction and you will have a far easier life.. Of course you will have to keep lying to maintain it.. .

A lie is mostly underrated as it has the potential to make things better.. However Its a lot of hard work, truth on the other hand is easy but painful..

So is a liar as good a person as one who never lies?

Boy am i beginning to see my friend's point of view...

I wonder... What is important ?..

Truth.....

Lie.....

.......
......
....
..

Anna Hazare and his tryst with corruption..

2011-08-19T12:26:00.000-07:00

Almost everyone i meet has a thought or two about what Anna Hazare is doing.. Some people try to be different to the point of being such hypocritical show offs.. Is what he is doing so bad.

I believe it isn't ..

Regardless of the fallout his intentions are right.. As a person who hardly has anytime for himself, Why do i feel touched by what he is doing. Am i so fed up with the corruption and feel so helpless about the situation around me that even a notion of what that man is doing has started to mean so much for me...

I always wonder how it was when Bapu had started the Civil Disobedience Movement. I guess must be a bit like now.. Are we seeing a new Bapu in the making..

I believe he has the courage to do what many are thinking..

Go with god Anna ji.

To blog or not to ..

2011-08-16T11:08:00.000-07:00

I always wondered why were writers such depressives .. I found out a few days ago.. Writing is so unbalanced.. This is no substitute to speaking and talking.. One so falls in love with their own words. It becomes its own justification and its own raison d' etre...

When you talk you are forced to listen to someone else'e percepective regardless of the fact whether you accept it or not.. The truth lingers in your mind and heart. It resurfaces when you are relaxed and makes you question your convictions... That is good.. Brings a balance to life...

A few good things i learnt..

I like to write and seem to be reasonably good at it

Dont write when are not feeling too good bout things.. it only makes things worse..
When you like someone you like them regardless..

When you like people be ready for a world of hurt..

Well.. Does it make any difference...

Nah not a bit.. It tells me am alive..

I keep thinking.. pint size pocket of trouble..

Fond memories....

Am smiling again..

The ugly Truth..

2011-08-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

Amazing movie. Funny stuff.

Put in words a lot of things I felt... Am sure a lot of guys would identify with the movie especially when they are getting exasperated with women... It is true isn't it...? Even though women would never admit it... Men are after all a checklist... On one hand they look for love packaged in that comfortable pack... On the other hand they will tell you that men like the notion of the women and not the real person that they are...

Tell me this who would stay around a person who nags the hell out of you... if you didn’t believe that there is something better at the end of the rainbow... Would women stick around for a guy like that...

Juvenile eh.. But would they listen.. Ohhh no.... never in a million years..

So I guess it is lucky for women that men see what they like and hang around and in the meanwhile the smart ones (women) figure out what’s important in life... Others would perhaps be lucky enough to watch this movie...

.............

Me and relationships

2011-08-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i wish i was young again.. There would be people around to guide me.. I guess there is a time for every thing in your life. it is really difficult to find a mate and settle down.. all the more so when you progress farther in your life..Relationships are so difficult especially when you have not had much in terms of experience..

It is easy to be in a relationship where the other person is easy going and friendly.. Its when women take that difficult stance when i cannot get through to them and then it snowballs into an avalanche...

Wish I was like those smart guys who always know what to say.. Perhaps women treat all men like these guys and expect me to react accordingly. But then that is not me...

There is so much to say.. So much that is left unsaid.. Of all all those good things possible, all you are left with a silence, and that immense sense of sadness. Wish one could have a fair chance at life....

Just dont know what to do..

Am so pissed off..

..

Give in to me....

2011-08-10T10:36:00.001-07:00

......................................................... .

I’m gonna wear you down
I’m gonna make you see
I’m gonna get to you
You’re gonna give into me

I’m gonna start a fire
You’re gonna feel the heat
I’m gonna burn for you
You’re gonna melt for me

You’re gonna take my hand
Whisper the sweetest words
And if you’re ever sad
I’ll make you laugh
I’ll chase the hurt

My heart is set on you
I don’t want no one else
And if you don’t want me
I guess I’ll be all by myself

Come on, come on
Into my arms
Come on, come on
Give into me

Country Strong.........