Thoughts From Jeff

April 12, 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 21:40:00 +0000

Today, I downloaded a new app for my phone and went and tested it out. We have 2 feet of snow still and the weather was in the 20's BUT I wanted to get out and test it. Here is a snapshot:

Winter Jam 2013: Omaha

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Sun, 03 Mar 2013 03:41:00 +0000

This weekend, we took a 28 hour road trip to Omaha for Winter Jam.

SMSU - Lutheran Campus Ministry left on noon on Friday and drove to Omaha. We checked into our hotel (Comfort Inn) and decided to go fast food before we headed to the concert. Runza was close to our hotel and no one had ever been there before so we decided to be daring and try it out. I will NEVER eat there again - YUCK.

After dinner, we battled 5:30 traffic and headed through the city. I dropped everyone off at the auditorium because of the traffic and crowd. I then and went to find a parking spot. After awhile, I found a place - albeit having to parallel park the 12 passenger fan. I then joined the crew - last row on the top-side. It was a capacity crowd. I am glad that they went in 5 minutes after the doors opened.

Overall, the concert was very good. Here was my quick fb status:

About the concert tonight: Best set from start to finish: SideWalk Prophets. Best transitions: Matthew West and his story videos that inspired the songs. Best song of night: Tony, Steal the Show. Artist Gaining Respect : Amy's Grace. Disappointment of night: Red (which stunk BC I was looking fwd to them).

We got back to the hotel a little after midnight and decided to get pizzas. The Sports Bar was a little rambunctious; so we got them to go and hate them in the hotel room.

In the morning, we had breakfast at the hotel, did an early lunch at Noodles & Company. I had the BBQ pork sandwich - EXCELLENT. We then made the 4 1/2 hour drive back to Marshall.

2014, we will return - next time - a different city. Not because Omaha was bad, but let's road trip it.

Bonhoeffer: We are Sinners

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 14:13:00 +0000

Tumor Is Shrinking

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 23:20:00 +0000

Today, Bethany had an MRI and chemotherapy. A long day for her. But, we received great news. Her tumor is continually shrinking. Here is a little bit of information for the picture above:

WE HAVE SHRINKAGE! The tumor shrank approximately another 4 mm. The tumor started out at 25mm. After the first 12 weeks, the MRI showed 11mm shrinkage. This time (another 12 weeks) it shrunk 4 more mm. On the photo: The one on the left is today, the next one over is the one from November and the one second from the right is last June when we discovered the tumor had grown. The tumor is the bright white spot on the bottom left.

Bethany just finished up week 25 of 70. So, she has a long way to go but this is fantastic news. We thank God for the continue presence in our lives. We thank him daily for the doctors, nurses, and medicine that enables this to occur.

Hearty Taco Soup

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 20:46:00 +0000

On January 21st, 2013, we had Hearty Taco Soup for Lutheran Campus Ministry Dinner & Discussion. The picture above is the soup cooking. Below is the recipe that I created and used. Feel free to use/share. If you do not mind, I would appreciate you citing the recipie.

The base:

29 oz Tomato Sause
29 oz Tex-Mex Diced Tomatoes
14.5 oz diced size tomatoes w/ green chilies
14.5 oz Chili Beans with Cumin/Cayne sause
14.5 oz of black beans (drained)
14.5 oz of dark red beans (drained)
14.5 oz Black Eyed Peas (drained)
14.5 oz of Mexican corn (drained)
14.5 oz Hoppin John (Blackeyed Peas, tomato, onions, and jalepenos)
1 package of spicy ranch

Then for the meat:

3 separate 1 lb of ground beef and 4 oz of season blend cooked

- one w/ original
- one with cheese
- one with hot

The three meats added to the base.

Served over corn chips and topped with a 4 cheese blend and sour cream

What About Joseph ?

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 19:23:00 +0000

I am teaming up with Children International to help them sponsor children. This week, I am trying to get Joseph Guillermo sponsored. He is going to be 16 years old soon (May 28). He lives in Equador. With him being 15, his sponsorship will be a short-term commitment for you.

Here is a little more info:

He is 5'8" and weighs 123 pounds. His favorite subject in school is Math and his favorite pasttime is Soccer. His Father is deceased and he lives with his mom (Geovanna) and his sister (Fabiana).

Would you be willing to help him over the next 2 1/2 years ? The sponsorship is $ 25 a month and this will help provide education/health for him ?

If you are willing, please email me at Lutheran.Chaplain@smsu.edu

Minnesota Snow

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 05:18:00 +0000

I took this picture on Sunday, December 9th, from the back of our church. We ended up cancelling services because of how bad the weather was in town. But, staff was hanging out at the building to let individuals who came out that our services were cancelled. This was our (my) first real MN snow and my phone captured the beauty.

A tear

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 16:26:00 +0000

On Wednesday, one of the teenagers asked me if I ever cried being separted from my family during this time of transition. The question caused me to reflect for a moment and to be honest, it took me off guard. I do not think that anyone has asked me that question over the last 2 1/2 months. My response was that tears have come but it has not been an all out cry like when I departed Indiana to come to Minnesota or when I left them over Thanksgiving to come back to Marshall.

However, there are "triggers" that cause tears. Some of them may seem odd, but they are neverless triggers and they cause a tear to come down my face. Matter of fact, since the question was asked, only 4 1/2 days have passed but there has been a trigger for my wife, my daughter and my boys.

Here were the three triggers that have occurred over the last few days:

On Thursday, my daughter called me on her way to chemotherapy to let me know that she had landed a duet in her Christmas choir performance. The joy that she had was so exciting to hear and the happiness that she had that Stacey may be able to call in or video tape it and I will watch it later was definitely there. A tear fell because I am not going to see the performance "live and in person". I definitely miss those moments. I don't think that I ever took them lightly and treasured each opportunity to see our kids performing but now that I am gone and missing sporting events, band concerts, choir events, musicals and more; wow, it is tough.

On Saturday, as I was preparring for the Cookie Walk, a tear came down my face for my wife. Stacey loves to cook and bake and if they were in Marshall, I know that she would love the event. She would have definitely made cookies and she would have been at the event with me. Stacey has always been there and supported me and has helped out immensly in my ministry. We have always been together and she helps my ministry in numerous ways. She is not there. I miss her being by myside. Yes, I miss her help greatly but more than that, I miss her presence and us doing life together.

It may be crazy, I know. But, a tear came down my face on Saturday evening around 6:57 pm. Here is the crazy picture that prompted the tear. I know it is crazy, but let me explain (below the picture):

Georgia fell 5 yards short. My tear was not because Georgia lost. I wanted Alabama to win. The tear came because I had a flash back to 11 months ago. Isaiah, Jacob and myself went to Buffalo Wild Wings and ate way too many wings as we watched Alabama win the National Championship. Jacob is a huge Bama fan. We lived in Alabama for 3 years. He chose Alabama. When we moved to Alabama, I told them that they had to choose either Alabama or Auburn. He was 4, he chose bama because of the elephant, but it has stuck for the last 9 years. Side note: Isaiah chose Auburn because Melissa Joseph had on an Auburn shirt the first Sunday he was at church. So, as Alabama celebrated and Georgia was "rejected"; a tear came down my face because when the National Championship game comes around, I will not be with my boys watching it. Connection-Relationship with my boys.

It has been 2 1/2 months since I have been in Minnesota.I love Marshall, I love St. Stephen and I love SMSU. But, wow, do I miss my family and I cannot wait till we are all together under one roof. If by chance you are reading this and are taking family for granted; please pause a moment and enter a moment of thanksgiving for the time that you have.

Ella, thanks for asking the question.

Verse Study: 1 Peter 5:8-9

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 16:03:00 +0000

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.”

The verse is a great reminder to me in the following manner:

- keep the 3 C's: Calm, Cool and Collective.

- no matter what is happening - keep the guard up - which is tough

- we are no alone in this journey

- sufferring won't last forever -THANK GOD

- God gets the last word

Maybe, firm grip on Faith is what really jumps out to me.

Martin Luther King Jr used this language in regards to faith:

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase.”

From a personal standpoint, I think that we have done this in my new ministry adventure. We did not and still do not have the answers on many issues regarding this move but we took the step.

The ministries at the church and the university are going great. It is tough with the wife and kids in Indiana and me being in Minnesota. It is very difficult in not knowing where we will live when they come. It is tough for me not really having a place to call home while I am here. I am still not sure if the finances are there to cover our expenses but I have faith and I hope that peace is there at times. Even though, I know that my stress level is through the roof at times.

We are so thankful for the opportunity that God has presented us and the individuals that are helping us through this journey.

Verse Study: Eph. 2:8-9

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 20:46:00 +0000

Ephesians 2:8-9 MSG

“Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.”

This passage to me is a great passage that begins to open up many doors to theological discourse. However, I am also an individual that likes to go simple at times and connect the passage to my daily life and the things that are occurring in the world.

This is the sentence that jumps out to me:

God does both the making and saving.

So, many times, I think that we (intentionally or uninitentionally) put it on us and not God. His love and grace is truly a gift to us. There is nothing that we can do but trust.

One of the challenging things for us is to JOIN him in the work He does. Too often, I see individuals with a mindset of we are going to go and do this ....... when we do not realize that God is already at work there and we are going and joining/partnering with the mission taking place.

With me working / serving / member in an ELCA, I love looking for components and aspects of Martin Luther. I think this quote can be a springboard from this passage An Introduction to St. Paul's Letter to the Romans :

Faith is a living, bold trust in God's grace, so certain of God's favor that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it. Such confidence and knowledge of God's grace makes you happy, joyful and bold in your relationship to God and all creatures. The Holy Spirit makes this happen through faith. Because of it, you freely, willingly and joyfully do good to everyone, serve everyone, suffer all kinds of things, love and praise the God who has shown you such grace.

I hope that I do not brag. I hope that I am always pointing to God. Everything is from Him.

Verse Study: Romans 12:1

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 03:57:00 +0000

Romans 12:1

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

This passage really hits home to me. I have always loved the writings of Romans, ever since my Doctrine of Grace class in seminary. Chapter 12 in particular and the deviotional style writing of the message in this passage really jumps out to me.

Over the last six years, I have been working with/in ELCA churches and here are some words about Romans and Romans 12 from Martin Luther.

This letter is truly the most important piece in the New Testament. It is purest Gospel. It is well worth a Christian's while not only to memorize it word for word but also to occupy himself with it daily, as though it were the daily bread of the soul. It is impossible to read or to meditate on this letter too much or too well. The more one deals with it, the more precious it becomes and the better it tastes.

So, I wonder how many people have memorized it ? I know that I have not. However, as I read Romans and as I read and reread this passage over and over again, I could see the immense benefit if you would choose to do so. So, today, I am like the cow: I chew, chew, regurgitate and chew some more on it.

Luther shares this about Romans 12

In chapter 12, St. Paul teaches the true liturgy and makes all Christians priests, so that they may offer, not money or cattle, as priests do in the Law, but their own bodies, by putting their desires to death. Next he describes the outward conduct of Christians whose lives are governed by the Spirit; he tells how they teach, preach, rule, serve, give, suffer, love, live and act toward friend, foe and everyone. These are the works that a Christian does, for, as I have said, faith is not idle.

Fitting In

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Tue, 02 Oct 2012 16:37:00 +0000

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to talk to some university students about fitting in. It was a great conversation that we had and their struggle on where and how to fit in with the university setting. They have not found their group yet and as the days passes; they see groups becoming tighter and not sure if they can squeeze into those groups and their not sure if there are others out there not in groups that they can form into a group.

There was also the common conversation about alcohol and parties and what do you do if you do not drink and you do not want to associate with the crowd or you do not want to hang out, just so you can be the DD.

Out of the conversation, I was reminded of the following;

Oscar Wilde “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

I am hoping that we can continue the conversation and that we can continue to be a place that creates a safe enviornment for individuals to explore and be themselves.

What A Week

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 22:15:00 +0000

It is Friday and another week is in the books. I cannot believe how fast it has gone. It has been an unbelievable week that has been filled from sunrise to sunset.

Sunday was a great day of worship and then after worship, I jumped over to the university to watch some football. After an hour or so of football watching, I headed back to the church to prepare for the Theological Conference. I joined 150 +/- pastors in Alexandria for 3 days of training and worship.

Then on Wednesday, we came back to a full evening of confirmation and high school ministry. In confirmation, I am a huddle leader for a 6th grade group. For our high school ministry, we had 11 high school students and we begin to throw out ideas for ministry and for our summer trip. Belize is jumping to the top.

On Thursday, it was catch up day for the church and the university with being out of the office for the first three days. I then went over to Esther's Kitchen (community dinner) for supper before I headed back to the church for our new members class.

Today was a little low key. I was in the church office for awhile and now I am over at the university (Campus Religious Center). The Cathloic Campus Ministry is here cooking desserts. Tonight, I am headed to the Marshall high school football game and then I am headed back to the center for a university game night.

What a week.

Great First Week

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 22:44:00 +0000

It has been a great week in Marshall. I have thoroughly enjoyed the process of getting to know individuals at the church and at the university.

Two of the simple highlights have been the high school group on Wednesday night and playing ultimate frisbee with 12 of the university students on Thursday.

In Marshall

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 00:40:00 +0000

Yesterday, I drove 806 miles from Fishers, Indiana to Marshall, Minnesota. Thus, the adventure has begun. Last night, i checked into the Comfort Inn. I stayed there last night and will be staying there tonight. I am not sure where I am laying my head after tonight. I might be sleeping at camp. I might be staying in a house of a former member of the church who is living in a different city or i may be staying in my office and showering at the Y. I am not sure - kinda odd but kinda exciting.

Today was my first day at St. Stephen and it was a great day. They have a traditional and a contemporary service with Sunday School in-between. they had baptisms at both services. There are numerous things that I saw or observed that made me glad that I am here. They are the following:

- education opportunities for almost everyone on Sunday mornings
- Sunday afternoon / evenings are "down time"
- children remain in the worship service for the entire time
- very active milestone ministry
- low-key / relaxed feel (tough to explain)
- the use of the lectionary

This morning, I sat in on the Junior High SS class that was led by an adult named Jeff who has been teaching and involved in youth programming for six years. Sunday School at St. Stephen is more low-key and fun than educational. They use it for their social component of ministry. Their transform/education/cathecism is on Wednesday nights. However, even though they had high emphasis on social - snowball fight - Jeff re-emphasized the Small Catechism and had them answering questions about it, the church and Martin Luther.

I am looking forward to confirmation. I am not the "main teacher" as I have been in the past. Instead, I am a small group leader with Brenda. That should be a blast.

Countdown Is On

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 17:53:00 +0000

In 11 days, I will be making the drive to Minnesota to begin a new ministry. I am looking forward to the opportunity. Yes, there is still uncertainty about not having my family with me for awhile. It is going to be very tough. Thankfully, we live in a time where we can connect through blogs, facebook, phone, text messages, skype and more.

Over the last few days, I learned that one of the things that will be added to my plate will be a huddle leader for confirmation class. I am really looking forward to the opportunity to partner with another adult and lead a huddle group. This will be a great way to hit the ground running. Speaking of hitting the ground running ....

I am going to partner with two aspects of the ELCA very quickly. This excites me beyond measures. The first opportunity will be my second day on the "job". I will be going with the church staff to a synod staff day. Then the second week that I am there, I will have the opportunity to be attend a 3 day Theological Conference provided by the synod and not only get great training but get to meet Pastors and leaders from all over the synod. This will be a great in-road to meet/connect/network as I begin building relationships to share the work of the campus ministry that is being done on Southwest Minnesota State University campus.

Starting A New Chapter

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 00:09:00 +0000

In two weeks, I am embarking on a new journey. A new chapter in my life is being turned. As I begin to share with you what I will be doing and the impact that it is going to have on our family, I know that many of you will shake your head and numerous of you will not understand and a handful of you will be tempted and may even say, "that is the craziest thing that I have heard".

Before I share with you the next step, let me assure you that this decision was not made lightly. I am fully aware of the ramification. But, I have also weighed the options, have asked questions, listened to the critics and paid attention to all the voices that have asked, "is this a wise choice". My response to that is that I have prayed and listened to the inner voice, the whisper and I believe the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I fully believe that God has provided this amazing opportunity and has answered my prayer and without a shadow of a doubt; this is the step that I need to take. Now, I will be honest, I am not 100% why this is the place that God has opened and this may not have been the ministry or location that I would have put number one when this journey began almost 7 months ago. But, I do know that God knows a little more than me.

I shared the following quote on my Facebook wall last week and want to share it again. I then want to share with you the prayer that I have prayed multiple times a day for the last six months and then share where I am headed:

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising, which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

We are mapping out a course and it is going to take a huge amount of courage to do and we are hoping and praying that our friends and families will surround us with the love and the encouragement that we need to make this transition.

The Prayer

God, I am putting this job search into your hands. I am not going to limit where I send my resume due to location, ministry description or where I am wanting to land. I also am putting this into your hands by asking you to rain down the no's - no matter how many - till the right yes comes. I pray that there is one offer and not multiple; so this is your will and not my will.

There you go, that was the backdrop. Some may say that is a crazy prayer. Some may say that it is just a coincidence that you received all no's and one yes. Or some will point to the "job market" and say that is how it is working now-a-days. But, in my heart, I fully believe that God has answered my prayer. Numerous times though through this journey, I came out of the interview and thought, this is going to be the yes and was very excited because of the position or the location; but the no's kept coming till this yes rang true.

Resumes Facts

400 resumes sent (250 to churches / 150 to businesses)
Applied for children, youth, family, mission, outreach, senior, campus, and church camp positions
Resumes went out to 4 continents
Resumes went out to 37 different states
In person interviews in 10 different states
35 church resumes in Indiana WITH 13 close enough we would not have to move
75 churches did not even respond with a receipt of resume
Received 100 NO's from churches (God did rain them down)

The Yes

I have accepted a joint ministry position. Lutheran Campus Pastor and Youth and Family Coordinator.

Both the church and the campus ministry is in the same town.

The Church: St. Stephen Lutheran (ELCA)
The University: Southwest Minnesota State University (Lutheran Campus Pastor)

While some of the responsibilities and expectations of this position will be specific to the campus or the church, it truly is a shared position with a solid foundation of partnership between the two ministries.

The church and the university is located in Marshall, Minnesota. Below is a picture of the small town (downtown) and below the photo is a little information on the town.

Marshall is a city in Lyon County, Minnesota in the United States. The population was 13,680 at the 2010 census. Marshall is a regional center in southwest Minnesota, and the county seat of Lyon County. Marshall is the headquarters for Schwan Food Company and home of the mustangs: Southwest Minnesota State University.

Below is an aerial view of the prairies and Southwest Minnesota State University

The campus is laid out beautifully and the buildings are very open and inviting. A little about SMSU:

Southwest Minnesota State University is a public, four-year university that is part of the Minnesota State College and University System. The school has a full-time enrollment of approximately 3,700 students and employs 148 faculty members.It is divided into two major colleges, the College of Arts, Letters, and Sciences, and the College of Business, Education, and Professional Studies. SMSU is accredited by the North Central Association of Colleges and Schools.

Southwest Minnesota State University provides undergraduate education in the liberal arts and professional studies for the following areas: Accounting, Agribusiness Management, Anthropology, Art, Biology, Business Administration, Chemistry, Computer Science, Criminal Justice, Culinology, Economics, Education, English, Environmental Science, Foreign Languages, Global Studies, History, Hotel and Restaurant Administration, Humanities, Indigenous Nations and Dakota Studies, Interdisciplinary Studies, Justice Administration, Marketing, Mathematics, Music, Philosophy, Physics, Political Science, Psychology, Rural and Regional Studies, Social Work, Sociology, Speech Communication, Theatre Arts, Wellness and Human Performance, and Women's Studies. The university also supports a Center for Rural and Regional Studies, and offers masters degrees in Business Management, Education, and Special Education. The most popular majors are Business Administration and Education.

The Transition

It all begins in the middle of September. September 16th is my first Sunday.

What About ....

There are a lot of these that can be listed. What I will put here and you can contact me about the specifics is that for at least the next nine months, Stacey and the kids will remain here. Thus, the kids can finish up their transitional years in school (8th and 4th) and Bee can remain at Riley for her chemotherapy treatment.

I currently do not have a plan of action for me and housing. I am going to play that by ear. Financially, I cannot afford two places.

God's Prompting, Ministry, and Family Interest

In the end, we feel this is where God is prompting us. We are looking at this as a very long term partnership with the church and the university. Thus, a small time apart is small (many families do it). The ministry is a great fit for my gifts, talents and passion. In all honesty, I am not sure that I could write up a better combination and ministry description that is in front of me. From a family interest, this is going to also provide the much needed health insurance (group) that my family so desperately needs. We are working on arrangements where we will get to see each other a few days each month.

Can't Wait

It is going to be tough being "separated" from the family.
It is a little unnerving, not knowing were I will lay my head down when I get there.

But, I cannot wait to begin the journey with the church and the university; it is a golden opportunity and I am blessed that they have asked me to serve in this position. Even though the last seven months have been draining and hearing all the no's was tough; I know that God answered my prayers.

The Church Building

Building on Campus

Go Mustangs

Goyte: Naked Pastor

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 15:11:00 +0000

This is from the Naked Pastor. The song is very catchy and very popular right now and I think that this cartoon describes the feelings of many and that is a shame :(

2012: First Day of School

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 19:10:00 +0000

Jacob & Isaiah entering 8th grade

Bethany entering 4th grade

They are growing up before our eyes.

Tumors, Scoliosis, and Chemo ... What Gives

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 18:12:00 +0000

This post is going to be a little message to God ....
This post is going to be a little raw about my feelings
This post is going to be a little about not understanding
This post is going to be a little about what Bee's situation is doing to me

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

To the left is a picture of my fighter - Bethany. This picture was taken by my wonderful wife on her first chemotherapy day. Each chemotherapy patient at the hospital receives a gift bag filled with multiple goodies. It is to help them begin their journey. For Bee, this journey is 70 weeks, but this is not her first fight.

God, I really have no clue what is going on and what is happening. I know that you are big enough to handle it; so I will tell you that THIS SUCKS and I have no clue why Bee has to go through this or any of the other children in this world. I mean, come on; have you truly strolled the halls of the Children's hospitals and truly looked into their eyes and see the hurt and pain in their eyes and their families eyes. Many of them are struggling and do not know what is going to happen. These are kids.

As, I look at Bee, we found out that she had tumors at a very young age and have continued to monitor her. For information sake, from the time she was one till now; we had 14 MRI's or so to monitor the situation. Thankfully, we received the "no change" message until recently. For me, all the no changes may have given me false hope that she was going to fly through this and everything as going to be "fine".

Of course, monitoring the tumors and keeping a close eye on that was not enough. She also had severe scoliosis and it kept getting worse and worse. So, at 7, yes, 7 she had to have growing rods in her back and had to limit her activity for a year; yup; just what every 7 year old wants to hear. But, she came through it and even has gone through 2 procedures of lengthening the rods.

But, then came the news that we dreaded. Yes, there had been a false hope but at the same time; knowing the words could eventually come and they came. There is a change and we believe that we need to start a 70 week chemotherapy treatment. Yikes.

God, maybe you did not realize, but I resigned from my ministry position and am not making much money stocking shelves; especially when we are paying $419 a month to keep her insured. However, to shift from her a bit and to my wife; my wife needs insurance as well and we cannot get it. So, Ii am in a midst of a job search; we have some promising leads, but with Bee beginning the treatment; this makes the journey even more adventurous.

So, Bee had the first chemotherapy session on Thursday and the first 36 hours were good. Then the side effects took place. God, I am sure you know how much Bee loves food and how much she loves the tradition of eating donuts on Saturday. She was in so much pain (jaw) that she could not eat. Then on Sunday, Grandma took her to the buffet (oh her love) and she could not eat; tears strolled down her face.

I definitely do not understand and comprehend why this is occurring. Why does a girl so young have to have tumors, scoliosis and be in a 70 week chemotherapy treatment program ?

I am a little jaded and numerous emotions run through my mind. It is extremely tough for me as her dad to go through this. I am sure ANY parent would say the same thing that watches their child struggle. If I am honest, I am also aching because she has the tumors, scoliosis and going through the treatment process because of NF. It is genetic disorder and I am the one that passed it on to her.

It was interesting and not by mistake (led by the Holy Spirit, I am sure) that the sermon we listened to on Sunday morning was from John 9. John 9 is about the blind man from birth. Disciples were arguing and Jesus answer is troubling - especially in some translations. Here are some of them:

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. (NIV)

“It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him. (NASV)

Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. (KJV)

Looking at those, it could almost be read - may needs to be read (yikes) that this was part of God's plan to bring Glory to Him. Hmm, that is just odd to me and if I may be real blunt: God, that is warped to think that you may have purposely created people for that ??

I know that many do not like the message version but, I like it a little better and it is easier to swallow. Here is the Message:

Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, "Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?" ^3-5Jesus said, "You're asking the wrong question. You're looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines. When night falls, the workday is over.

I can swallow this. Things happen. We do not need to research or debate things. Life occurs. However, within life, we can look at it through the lens of what God can do. I think this is precious. I fully believe that God has an amazing story. He has a story of restoration and redemption. We are part of this story.

I have no clue why Bethany is going through what she is going through. But, I can tell you that she is teaching me a lot. I can tell you that she is an amazing young girl with a tenacious spirit and she is willing and able to share her story. God will touch her, lead her and give her strength and she will share that. I will continue to scream that THIS IS NOT FAIR. But, I know deep down that God is with us and I know that we can see God working it miraculous ways. I can point to numerous things and go there is no way to explain what is happening; it has to be God.

In the next few days, weeks, or months, I may be receiving a job offer and that job offer may not be in Indiana and we will be looking at being separated for the school year / treatment process. If we do that, I am sure many will not understand and maybe question us and that is okay. We are navigating these potholes as we come to them. There is no road map on how to do it. I am so thankful for friends and family members that have gave sacrilegiously for us to keep our head above water till we (I) have a job that can provide finances and insurance for my family.

David in Psalms 40 says the following

I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock

I think we are still in the mud, but are slowly being pulled out of the mud. I am looking forward to the solid rock and being hosed down and cleaned as we give thanks to God. To follow Bee's story / updates / leave comments / give financially; you can visit us here: Beating The Brain Tumor

8th Grade ... Here We Go

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 12:09:00 +0000

Yesterday, I took Isaiah and Jacob to preview day at their school. I cannot believe that it is now 8th grade. They saw old classmates, walked the halls, got their class scheduled, found their lockers and more.

Bee's Needs

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 23:51:00 +0000

We are using Go Fund Me to help us raise money for Bethany's medical expenses. We have already accumulated quite a bit and will have plenty more as we journey through the next 70 weeks. We will be using the funds for the following expenses:

- past medical bills for her
- Cobra insurance payments
- deductibles
- pharmacy prescriptions
- traveling costs to the hospital

If you want to donate, please visit Bee's Needs

Thanks

Interview Questions

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 18:45:00 +0000

I am hopefully winding up my ministry search. It is my hope and dream that this time next week, I will be able to announce that I have officially landed a ministry position and what the job entails. However, in this post, I want to share with you 3 questions that one church sent to me. I interviewed with numerous churches and filled out quite a few per-screening questionnaires. Some were very good and some were just plain awful in my opinion. The following from one church though (imo) was the best introductory questions ask. I think that after receiving the answers from the candidates, that they would definitely be able to narrow down the candidates. Here they are and combined the answers could only be 2-3 pages.

1. Please tell us about your self-understanding as a follower of Jesus Christ,
and how it relates to your potential role as Family Ministry Director.

2. Please give us as many examples as possible of the following outcomes
resulting from your past ministry leadership:

a. Numerical and spiritual growth of children, youth, and/or family
ministry. Please include details if possible.

b. Effective management of a large-scale ministry program that called
for visioning, strategic planning, long-range calendaring, and
responsible budgeting.

c. Effective identification, training, and oversight of individual leaders
and leadership teams.

d. New and meaningful relationships among families in the
congregation where you were serving.

e. Effective pastoral care (outreach, counseling, crisis response) to
children, youth, and their families.

3. What are your impressions of tour denomination? Are there
any aspects of our denominationst theology or polity that you would
struggle to support? What is your general approach to theological,
political, and social diversity within a congregation?

Killing the Sacred Cow

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 17:15:00 +0000

The article below is not all about Killing the Sacred Cow, but it is an element. Here is the article:

What Changes Would a New YP Make at your Church

Over the years, I have seen many sacred cows; have you ?

What are some of them ?
What are some of them that need to be killed ?

Casting the Vision

noreply@blogger.com (Thoughts From Jeff) — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 13:11:00 +0000

Antoine de Saint Exupery said, "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."

I think that this is such a valuable quote about leadership and vision casting. The greatest challenge that faces church leaderships today is building the right team to join you in the mission that has been cast.

One of the reasons that I went back to school after seminary and received a degree in Organizational Leadership Development was the reason stated above. We do a terrible job in finding leaders, training them and then integrating them into ministry.

This quote though puts a whole new spin on the perspective and how we should / could do leadership.

I like what Leonard Sweet says in the following sentence:

Great leadership is less trying to find people to "fit in" than finding people who can "fit together"

A few thoughts to think about and a few thoughts that I will be chewing on when I step into a new leadership role.