Teachable Moments

Health Coach

2022-09-23T10:52:00.002-04:00

Coach: : one who instructs or trains

Athletes have them.

Business executives often have them.

Doctors even have them.

Singers have them (The Voice)

How do you expect to excel in a field if you do not have someone to instruct and train you? Tom Brady did not achieve his level of athleticism without dedicating countless hours of his life to training with his coaches over the years. My Lyme doctor coaches other doctors. Artists and teachers coach other artists and teachers. A coach may start off as a teacher but some where along the way a relationship develops and the level of instruction and training deepens continuing long past a class, a course, or a program.

Why do we think we can excel at creating a lifestyle that supports health and wellness without assistance? Clearly we (I) need some training because I am willing to bet that bad habits and choices in lifestyle, or trauma, or inadequate coping skills, are part of the reason we as a society are now dealing with multiple autoimmune issues and chronic diseases.

Lyme did not sneak up on me, although I feel like it did. I already had autoimmune issues, and my lifestyle of worrying about ALL the little stuff combined with a type C personality - yes, there is a type C (people pleaser) are all contributing factors. Covid tipped the balance, but it was not Covid alone that caused my Lyme to surface and my EBV to rage and mycoplasma to multiply.

Doctors can only do so much. They are very busy managing caseloads. Lyme doctors typically spend far more time than the regular ND or MD, but even one hour every few weeks is not enough to instruct and train you in a healthy lifestyle. They are instructing and training you in healing protocols.

This is where a coach comes in. A health coach is a professional who will instruct and train you in the foundations of health - all the things that must be addressed to reverse the trajectory of disease and bring the body back into balance, resulting in healing. Not a cure. Curing is different from healing. My body may always have traces of borrelia in it. I may not be able to, or even want to kill every borrelia spirochete that has tunneled its way into my organs. But I can still heal. I am healing.

How am I healing? I am working my ass off with the help of my Lyme literate naturopathic doctors and my health coach Heather Gray. My LLNDs gives me the protocols, instruct me on dosage, order the labs, monitor my progress and my setbacks, and make corrections mid-course if necessary. My coach is instructing me on important things I somehow missed in the past 50 years of my life: how to rotate my foods to heal my leaky gut, how to use somatic exercises to correct my nervous system, how trauma affects my biology, and what trauma actually is, why avoiding the foods my doctor asked me to avoid is important, and even how to cook in a much healthier way.

Heather is not local to me, but I did have the pleasure of meeting her at LymeBytes conference in May and I really hope she will make the trip back to Connecticut for the next conference. Her platform is self-guided and I can rewatch the video coaching as many times as I’d like. I’m even working with Heather on healing my taste/smell through an AO scanner.

This sounds crazy but it is totally amazing. I send Heather a voice recording every morning. She scans it and sends me back a beautiful playlist of soothing music set to the frequencies my body needs that day. Want to hear something crazy? Today the scan showed my spleen needed attention. I had acupuncture the same day. I have not told my acupuncture doctor about the sound therapy yet and when she was scanning my pulse, looking at my tongue and how my body was responding to a few needles she placed, she told me she felt my spleen needed extra attention and gave me a needle for that which resulted in the craziest sensation deep in my body.

I am a firm believer that we need a team to heal. My team consists of my LLNDs, my coach, my husband who is supporting me every step of the way, my friends who know and understand Lyme and a dear friend who will literally let me cry when I need to and makes me laugh when I don’t want to.

Newtown Arts Festival

2022-09-18T18:41:00.003-04:00

It's festival season in Connecticut. We wandered our way up Rt. 25 and spent the afternoon in Newtown. I ran into a friend I met through Partner in Lyme and we caught up. The art was really good. The music was decent and the food....well there weren't loads of options for me so I went with the pork and rice bowl and I loved every bite.

This was extra special because I could taste it. For the past 9 months my taste and smell have been severely compromised. The past two months have been the worst. My Lyme treatment caused a herx, which in turn, has made my taste go from bland and minimal to bland and horrible. Every bite can be a chore. Every swallow must sometimes be forced. Having a meal that I truly loved and having hope that my treatment is working is a gift.

Salem, NY

2022-09-17T12:29:00.007-04:00

Wandering the country roads of upstate NY, I was struck by how incredibly beautiful our country is. We stayed at an Air B&B in Salem for my niece’s wedding.

We ventured over to Manchester, VT for a little shopping and dinner and discovered what could possibly be the best book store ever - a perfect mix of new and used with section after sections to explore. Lilah and I could have spent hours, but we didn’t have hours to spend.

We agreed to take a day and come back, just the two of us, so we can browse until our hearts are content.

Art Journaling Koi Fish

2022-09-15T21:12:00.000-04:00

I started tutoring this year to help pay for our medical expenses, but this is not work.  Every minute is a joy - so is this work or part of my healing protocol?  Every medical professional I have listened to mentions the need to have something in your life that brings you joy.  Mental/emotional health is critical when it comes to physical health.  These 4 girls bring me joy.  

For 90 minutes I get to play with crayons, paint and markers.  We fill up a page with art and as we talk I notice what they say and what they wonder.  We talk about it and I write down their words.  They range in age from 4-7 so they are emerging writers.  They copy their words or I write them on the page.

We close by sharing what we wrote about and one thing we like about our page.  The 4 year old told me that she loved how shiny and colorful her fish was and that she “really loves her page”.  What is better than that??

Pancakes

2021-02-24T15:45:00.003-05:00

Sometimes adapting recipes to fit dietary needs doesn't work and you end up with a hot mess. This recipe for vegan pancakes adapted to GF very well with some modifications. I'm so happy we can add pancakes back into our breakfasts. I still miss waffles though. I'm not sure if this recipe would hold up to our Belgian Waffle iron...

1C GF flour - I used King Arthur's Measure for Measure

1TBSP coconut sugar

1TBSP baking powder

1/4TSP salt

Mix these in a bowl

In another bowl mix wet ingredients:

1C Almond Milk

1TBSP apple cider vinegar

1TBSP vanilla

Pour wet into dry. Mix and let stand 5 min.

Peach Smoothie

2021-02-16T13:56:00.000-05:00

The world is a bit upside down right now. Texas has a foot of snow, ice and no water or electricity and Connecticut is experiencing 50 degrees and sun.

3/4 cup almond milk

1/4 cup vanilla Greek yogurt

1 cup spinach

handful frozen peach slices

1 tbsp honey

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp ground ginger

A Spring of Discontent

2020-06-04T08:19:00.003-04:00

I wrote this down as I listened to a message from Pastor Ivor Myers. It made me look at the world around me with a different lens. It put words to my feelings that there is so much more going on than what we can see.

“Satan has a job. His livelihood, the crop that he produces, his livelihood is racism which means the destruction of the human race. Satan’s work is to destroy the human race. God’s definition of racism is a lot different than the definition we have come to accept as racism. God’s definition is anything that harms the human race....Satan’s racism is not to destroy one color of people, but to destroy every color of people and he will use the colors against one another because how better to destroy the image of God then to turn the rainbow (God’s image, Ezekiel), to turn the colors against each other rather than to reflect the glory of God.”

Spring 2020 - one for the history books

2020-06-01T07:35:00.000-04:00

Yesterday my brother asked about getting away for a few days and I told him rather than come north, go south. In the same amount of time he could be on Assateague Island watching wild horses, not up here dealing with quarantine crap. I went to this blog and pulled up our trip and told him my recommendations. I realized again what a resource this blog is. So much information has been chronicled over the years and I have just let it go.

The past three months have been a time in history that will be discussed forever. The COVID virus has changed everything. I don’t like it. I don’t agree with it. I don’t buy into it, but I can’t argue that things have changed and I don’t know if/when they will go back to the way things were and that saddens me more than words can say. I have walked through anger and bitterness and resentment. We have dealt with loneliness and frustration and worry. But not fear. I have not feared this, only the effects of this on our economy, our friend’s livelihood and our freedoms which I hold on to and will hold on to .

Now we have the death of a black man at the hands of a white police offer and the stage has been set for chaos. Our country in on fire. Cities are ransacked every night. Grace is fascinated by what she sees playing out on Fox News and local NYC news. I’m done watching. My heart can only take so much. Lilah struggles with how to make informed, educated opinions in the midst of social media pressure. Greg is working through this, both the pandemic and now the unrest. And me, well I just want to turn to God and pray and I know I am not doing enough of that. I feel at heart this is a spiritual issue and the battle for good/evil is raging right in front of us. If we could look at every person as someone made in the image of God, how would that change us? How would that change what is going on? If we could look at this with God’s eyes and see the angels and demons moving invisibly through our world, how would that bring us to our knees?

God loves everyone, even those we hate. Even those who hate us. God is going to sort each and every one of us and it won’t be by the color of our skin, the amount of money in our bank account or by the list of things we have accomplished in our time here on earth. Our job is to lead people to Jesus.

Marketplace

2020-03-10T20:55:00.002-04:00

God is so good. Yesterday Greg and I had so much fun listing items from our basement on Facebook Marketplace (so far I made $55 in one day). I put on a glass honey dispenser for $5. Not 5 minutes after I listed it, someone contacted me to purchase it. It worked out for us to meet at Trader Joe's in front of the flowers.

I gave her my card with a big "thank you" on it and told her that the money was going to a charity, Partner in Lyme. She asked if I have Lyme and I told her about Grace. She asked how I am getting the word out. I told her right now, I'm not, because I cannot give more donations until I raise more funds. But I do have to get the word out in order to raise funds. It's a conundrum.

Guess what her background is? PR. Yup. She's retired but said she has contacts and would friend me on FB. When I got home there was a friend request waiting for me.

God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.

Don't Quit Your Daydream

2020-03-10T20:51:00.000-04:00

Don’t quit your daydream. Have a daydream you don’t want to quit!

Greg, Kevin, Robin and I visited Reverie Brewing for the first time Sunday. Definitely won’t be the last time. God is putting me in contact with some really great people. I’m grateful that they partnered with me by offering items for Partner in Lyme's silent auction in September.

I love my work. I love my daydream.

Holy Boldness

2020-03-10T20:45:00.004-04:00

Almost current! One week ago...

Finding current Lyme statistics is challenging. Tickcheck.com estimates that in Litchfield County alone there have been more than 44,000 cases of tick born diseases in the past decade. Let’s really think about that number. That is in just ONE county in Connecticut.

Today I drove up to Litchfield, which is Connecticut farm country. There are rolling hills, nature preserves, wetlands, rivers...all places where ticks love to multiply. Just yesterday someone did a quick cloth sweep at one of the nature preserves and pulled more than 20 ticks off her small piece of cloth (she is experienced in tick research). I drove up to Litchfield to meet with a mom whose daughter is diagnosed with Lyme. Partner in Lyme awarded her a $1000 donation. We had a great breakfast and as I was leaving the restaurant I noticed this sign in the Ladies Room.

This is how I want to live my life. I want to do God’s work and do my best every single day to build His kingdom here on earth. Holy boldness is my phrase for 2020.

Halotherapy

2020-03-10T20:43:00.002-04:00

From February 27th

Grace and I tried Halotherapy for the first time today and I loved it. Quoting Revive’s website, “Halotherapy, also known as dry Salt Therapy is a holistic approach that mimics the microclimate of a salt cave. Dry salt air is dispersed into an enclosed room by a halogenerator. Salt absorbs and removed the allergens, toxins and foreign substances in your lungs and sinuses. Salt also reduces any inflammation and opens airway passages making it easier to breathe”. I compare it to a really great yoga session when you leave able to breathe deeply while feeling at peace. We did a ½ session to see how Grace will react to it. I’m hopeful this will be a gentle detox method for her and a great relaxation help for me!

Something Needs To Change

2020-03-10T20:23:00.000-04:00

This is my last read in a series of books that came into my life exactly when I was supposed to read them. I’m busy working on Partner in Lyme and this is a huge undertaking outside my comfort zone. But God. God knew I would need to learn certain things and realize certain things about myself in order to go forward in this. It was like he gave me a semester’s worth of reading all centered around the idea of doing something bigger than myself in His name.

Partner in Lyme

2020-03-10T20:19:00.003-04:00

For the past year or so I’ve wondered what my next step will be. Grace is in college, Lilah has just a few months of high school left and I wondered what I will do when my time as a homeschool educator comes fully to an end. I’ve been a teacher in one capacity or another for the past 20 years. Before that I was an international relocation counselor for moving companies and relocation companies. I knew that I would not return to a classroom or give up my summers working for a moving company.

I never dreamed I would found a non-profit! Watching what Grace has endured the past few years has been hard. It is enough to crush someone’s spirit. Out of her hardship came hope and help. Partner in Lyme gave our first monetary gift today to a Connecticut family who has been touched by Lyme. Their 7 year old is in the midst of treatment and while I know this gift can’t fully fund the treatment of this very expensive disease, it can provide the family with money to buy extra treatments, or goods and services that help heal the body, mind and spirit. It can pay for a doctor visit or two and one month or two of medicine and supplements.

God never promises us an easy life free of hardship, but He does promise to make all things work for good. I know God’s hand is on this and in this because there is NO WAY any of this would be possible without His help.

I have found my work. There is much to be done and I can’t wait to grow Partner in Lyme into the organization God wants it to be.

Praise God

2020-03-10T20:17:00.000-04:00

I don't know how to run a charity, but God does! I'm trying to remember that in every single step of this process, I have to let Him lead me.

In September I bought Grace a sauna to help in her detox treatment. It never made her feel good. The detox was too harsh....it took her a full day to recover from a 30 minute treatment so it was not being used. In December I listed it on Facebook Marketplace and at first I had a flurry of interest, but after a week or so interest dropped off and no requests for information were coming in.

In January Greg and I made the decision to go ahead with forming a 501(c)(3) charity called Partner in Lyme, Inc. God led me to the right person to help me with this (another story for another post) and in our initial conversation he told me the cost to incorporate would be approximately $1000.

Greg has been laid off for months and we are both working part time. Grace's Lyme costs are well over $1000 a month. Our COBRA costs are insane. I wanted to ask these questions to God, but instead, I just said, "God.....your will be done. I'll find $1000.". Do you know what?? Not 30 minutes after the phone call and my chat with God, an inquiry came in on the sauna. A woman who happens to live in my neighborhood wanted to see it that afternoon with her husband. She too has a sick child who is loving sauna treatments and would like to be able to have them anytime he wants.

She asked if I would take $1000.

Um....yes! Praise God. The sauna went to someone who will benefit from it and I have enough to pay for the incorporation and tax-exemption status. I even have $50 left over. God is so good. All the time.

Words

2020-03-10T20:12:00.001-04:00

post from January 28th

long, exhausting, heart-wrenching, horrific, invisible, hope, pain, unheard, trapped, forgotten, complex, misunderstood, unfair, hidden, frightening, debilitating, neglected, sad, sneaky, nightmare, unseen, heartbreaking, deserted, isolated, defenseless, unknown, scary, strong, determined, uninformed, expensive, miserable, uncertain, devastating, depression, loss, guilt, confusing, aching, thief, never-ending, dismissed, political, destructive, dread, mourning, inner-strength, fatigue, resilience, mystery, stealthy, unbelievable, unrelenting, lonely, baffling, evil, paralyzing, courage, perseverance, marathon, roller-coaster, prisoner, scary, fight, insidious, trauma, sickness, mask, under-diagnosed, hell, defeatable, crushing, liar, eye opening, invader, rejected, thief, imitator, crippling, cruel, tenacity, warrior, unfair, exhausting, journey, compassion, teacher, invader, chameleon, community, violated, betrayed, invisible, silent, cruel, consuming, persecution, dismissed, complex, futile, beastly, robbed, life-changing, misery, destroyer, exasperating, battle, impostor, criminal, overwhelming, invading, survival, blessing, terrifying, punished, life-sucking, intentional, destructive, chronic, real.

128 words from 128 people affected by Lyme Disease and related co-infections. This is why I am working to help those who feel helpless, give hope to those who feel hopeless, visibility to those who feel invisible, strength to those who feel weak, freedom to those who feel imprisoned, and a voice to those who feel they have been silenced.

Celebratory Lunch

2020-03-10T20:09:00.003-04:00

On January 25th Greg and I went to lunch to celebrate the submission of my incorporation papers to the state of Connecticut! What was a dream is now becoming a reality. Soon I will be able to apply for non-profit status.

My hope is to take the pain of this horrible disease and turn it into a way to help other families like mine. Our mission is to "sweeten the bitterness of Lyme, one donation at a time."

Spiritual Gifts

2020-03-10T20:05:00.001-04:00

I’m reading some really wonderful books. They are not books I selected, but were recommended to me. This one, What’s So Spiritual About Your Gifts, came to me exactly when I needed to read this.

I’m moving ahead in my goal to create a 503c organization this year. I have the idea, the name, the logo, the goal, the community, but I need to slog through the IRS information and figure out how to actually set it up. And I am NOT a numbers person. Greg has always taken on the role of finances in our family. He balanced checkbooks back when checkbooks were manually balanced. He did our taxes until the NY/CT tax implications became too cumbersome to do it himself. He pays the bills and manages our bank accounts. If I listened to the lies of the enemy there is no way I would persevere through this. I would say, this is not where my gifts and talent lie and someone else could clearly do this better than me.

This is the beauty of reading this book at exactly this time. This book is all about realizing that God sometimes calls you to work outside of your comfort zone. Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts assessment? I have taken several. They are always the same. Teaching, faith, mercy. I am comfortable working in those areas. I have taught Sunday School. I have taught in the public schools, private schools and in homeschool classes. I have even subbed in continuing education and preschool. I would be completely confident setting up some type of ministry around education. But this is not where God is leading me.

I have felt from the very beginning of this journey with Lyme Disease that I need to help others who do not have access to some of the treatments and products used to heal because of the cost and who feel overwhelmed by the initial diagnosis and somehow scrape together $600 for the initial doctor’s visit. This is outside what the assessment would consider my gifts. Yet the ideas come to me every day. I have missed turns off the highway because an idea came to me. I have rushed out of the shower to jot something down before I forget it. Day after day after day.

This book made me realize that we all have natural talents. Teaching is one of mine. But if God wants me to move in a different direction, The Holy Spirit will equip me with everything I need. I just have to surrender my will to His. God, work through me. Let your glory shine upon this venture, because anyone who knows me will know that it is only through You that this work may be done! Equip me. Direct me. Lead me and I will do my very best to obey.

Planning

2020-03-10T20:02:00.001-04:00

When the girls were 8 and 10 the three of us hopped in the car and drove to Chicago for a few days to visit friends. When they were in high school, we hopped in the car and drove to Alabama and walked/drove the Civil Rights Trail with @homeschoolgirls. I took them on business trips to Puerto Rico, Washington, DC and Chicago but I was always a little fearful of exploring the world with them.

I can easily get caught up in the “what ifs”, “what abouts?” and “I can’ts”. I can fall prey to the thinking that the world is a bad place rather than celebrate that there is so much good in the world. They year however, I am tapping into that place deep inside of me that is bold and brave and eager for adventure. Grace and I are planning a trip....a pretty big trip...to Ireland. She’s doing most of the planning and I’ll be doing all of the driving!

Lilah is in the midst of planning her own adventure - to college in the fall. Location is still being determined. She has a big choice to make. She will be traveling as well, first in the spring on her senior class trip and then she plans to take advantage of classes that offer 2 week travel components in college.

So much happening. Many changes. All good.

Subbing

2020-01-11T19:03:00.000-05:00

Here it is 2020 and I did not stay current with blogging for the last three months of 2019. Too bad really because so much has been happening and we are moving forward without seeming to move forward at all.

I am subbing at Christian Heritage School. I love it and I hate it.

I love that it is flexible. I can work on the days that I am not bringing Grace to Tunxis or to doctor appointments. It is decent money, especially for upper school. Many days, like yesterday, I can go to work for an hour, have a three hour break which allows me to come home, go back to work for three hours and get paid for a full day.

I hate it because 9th grade gives me nightmares. I don't especially like babysitting. I no longer like teaching elementary and sadly, I have come to realize that there are many things about the school that I just don't like. I know a school is a school, but this one is supposed to be based on a set of principles that set them apart and in reality, I don't see the principles lived out among the students and staff.

For now, it works. I will continue on until the end of the year when Lilah graduates. By then we will have a solid plan for Greg - if he is fully on board with UPS or if he is still looking, which hopefully will not be the case. I don't know if I will continue on next year, or if by then I will have my own plan.

Homecoming and a little school drama

2019-09-29T11:32:00.000-04:00

Homecoming should have been a joy filled weekend full of school spirit and senior class adventures but CHS ruined it with their archaic dress coding. I am all for modesty. I don’t believe in two piece dresses, cutouts, plunging necklines and backs. But there is common sense modesty and there is puritanical modesty and I think CHS crossed the line with threats to use a ruler to measure the hemline of dresses and provide cover ups for those that don’t meet the standards.

I’d love for them to go to the mall with a girl that is 5’10” and thin. Or 5’ tall and overweight. A dress that fits a 5’5 girl perfectly will be shorter when you add 5inches to the wearer. Or 30 pounds. Make a rule, all dresses must fall below the knee. Done. Easy. But don’t cause such anxiety that the morning of the dance, a new dress must be purchased.

Despite this....Lilah looked stunning and had a good time.

Part Time

2019-09-28T07:20:00.000-04:00

We have lived our adult lives with very little uncertainty. There were things we could not afford to do.....like our dream trip to Hawaii, but we had everything we needed and just about everything we wanted.

I think this comfort does not allow you to truly feel empathy for people who don’t know how they are going to pay for their groceries, or fill their tank up with gas, or get their child to a better school. You think you know, but you just don’t.

Greg’s layoff has caused me to think of these things. We are blessed with a large safety net both monetarily and physically. That is due to the hard work and lifestyle we chose our whole adult lives. I guess we could have gone to Hawaii, or anywhere we wanted, but at the expense of putting aside an emergency fund and building our savings accounts.

This is a strange time of knowing we have no income. Our expenses are mostly the same, which in this state are significant. So much so, it makes me wonder how a family can truly meet their needs without a substantial income. Now I understand better why most families have two working parents, even if one salary is going to pay for day care for the first 5 years. There is no easy way for me to re-enter the workforce at a salary that will help our family.

But while we wait and work on patience and peace, we are both trying to do what we can. Every dollar we earn is a one dollar less that will be taken from our emergency fund. Greg has been working at Scotty’s farm in Monroe and he enjoys it. He comes home with stories just like he did when he was landscaping.

I have applied to substitute teach at Christian Heritage. I can do that three days a week. I am also working for Jess at The Clay Date on her social media. I’m excited about it and even though I make in a week what Greg used to make in an hour, it’s good.

I have no idea how long this will be our reality and what God wants for us next, but I do know that there are some big lessons to be learned in this waiting period.

Sauna

2019-09-22T07:48:00.003-04:00

For weeks I had been trying to work out purchasing an infrared sauna for our home. Jen Powers reached out to me that her dad, a retired doctor, was selling one of the ones he used in his practice and I really wanted it for Grace. I assumed it was in Newtown but I had this nagging feeling her dad is in PA so the sauna might be in PA and when I asked she confirmed it was indeed in Williamsport, a 4 1/4 hour ride from here.

It wouldn’t fit in my car. It wouldn’t fit in Janice’s car. We don’t have the money to rent a UHaul (ugh that would be a long ride) so I was a bit perplexed. Greg asked Gary if we could borrow his pickup. We cleaned it out (he uses it to haul pigs and farm supplies) and last Thursday the two of us left the house at 6:00am armed with a full thermos of water and a full thermos of coffee.

By 12:00 we had the sauna loaded in the truck and set off for lunch at a little mom and pop restaurant we drove by on the way. He had a meatloaf open-faced sandwich and I had a roast beef sandwich with gravy fries and coleslaw and it was oh, so good! We finished with a Amish treat, a Tansy Cake (dense white cake covered in a thin layer of peanut butter and chocolate. We were home by 7:00pm and the sauna was offloaded and set up by 8:30pm. A long day...but a productive one!

The sauna is now set up in our back room. I am waiting to call the doctor before using it because Grace’s kidney levels are high and she needs repeat blood work this week. I hope this is just due to dehydration but I don’t want her to sweat until the doctor clears it.

Rend Collective

2019-09-20T08:26:00.000-04:00

We have been waiting and waiting for Rend Collective to come to our area. We had so much expectation for this show and it didn’t disappoint. I was surprised by the fact that this felt very much like church.....the absolute best church. The songs lifted our voices in worship but there was also a sermon, about the Prodigal Son, followed by an alter call. This was beautiful because as people gave their lives to Jesus, they lit their phone flashlight symbolizing the light of Jesus entering into their life.

I don’t like the private give-your-life-to-Jesus moments although I think they are necessary. I think everyone needs to share this with someone and rather than raise your hand in a church where everyone’s eyes are closed, this was a celebration of life and light. So beautiful and so powerful.

19

2019-09-16T17:33:00.002-04:00

Her birthday didn’t go quite as planned. The sunflowers were past peak. The hot water heater broke. The restaurant was closed. My biggest wish for her was to have a pain free, joyous day. Sometimes that means rather than waiting for the rain to pass, we have to find joy dancing in the rain.

As we crossed the street and made our way into the flower field, Lilah eased Grace’s anxiety about trespassing by saying, “Grace....you’re 19. It’s time you broke a law.” I actually agreed. In this case, it was better to ask forgiveness than seek permission. We didn’t pick any, we just used this spot for a gorgeous photo shoot. She may not have had a totally pain free, joyous day, but she did in this moment and that was what I will remember about her 19th birthday.