La Vida Loca...

La Vida Loca Continues....

2015-02-02T22:35:00.001-06:00

Well here we are, beginning our 7th week in the US and I've decided an update might be a little too long for a Facebook post:)
It's honestly hard to believe all that has taken place the past 7 weeks. It has felt like a roller coaster of emotions since the beginning and yet we have felt SO incredibly blessed the entire time.

We have been (and will be) in a process of mourning the past and rejoicing in our future at the same time. Not only are we dealing with our emotions but our 3 kids are also dealing with their own type of grieving. All in all, I have to say they have dealt with it extremely well, though they have more days right now that they long to be back in Peru (at least that is what they say:) We just ask a lot of questions, keep an open line of communication and make sure they know it's ok to be sad about Peru or happy about their life here.

Maddox and Sofia started their second week of school today. They would tell you that they really love it. They both made it into the dual-language program and that was a HUGE blessing! They rocked their Spanish evaluation! They are with lots of hispanic students and mainly speak Spanish with their friends (so they feel right at home!) We LOVE what they are experiencing but we were also a little apprehensive because these kids had been together since Kindergarten (Sofia's class that was 5 years and Maddox's 3 years.) We didn't know how well they would include our kids. So far the kids have come home happy, with new friends and they truly enjoy going! What an INCREDIBLE blessing and makes a mama's (and daddy's) heart SO happy! I went to a Birthday party for a boy in Maddox's class this past weekend and all but one mom introduced themselves in SPANISH! I almost started crying I was so excited! They had all had heard about Maddox and invited me to a Valentine's breakfast. I walked away feeling SO encouraged and felt as though God had given me a little community already! Oh, half of the families live close to our new house!

Liam just took his bilingual test today and ALSO made it into the pre-school at the same school!! We didn't think we would qualify for the pre-school but they said that because he spoke Spanish, he gets in and it's FREE!!! I seriously almost hugged the lady when she told me he made it and could start school tomorrow! So we will see tomorrow how Liam does on his first day! All I know is that I'm going to be sad for about 7 minutes and then I will go by Sonic, get a drink and rejoice in the fact that I have 3 hours to MYSELF! Not gonna lie!

Baby Boy Fletcher is doing well and kicking up a STORM! Met my new doctor last Friday and he is GREAT! One huge blessing is that we found out that my placenta has moved well out of the way so one high risk GONE (and just a few more to go:) We are about 8 weeks out from having this baby either by C-section or VBAC and either way we are ready to meet him:)

Lee and I spent the MAJOR part of the last 5 weeks looking for homes, figuring out insurance, buying a car, looking at houses, car insurance, getting the kids in school and looking for houses.
We now have a family car that will fit all of us. As of tomorrow all the kids will be in school in dual-language programs. Now for the major news....WE HAVE A HOME!!!

Lee and I have laughed so hard at the ALL the ideas we had about a house. Here is the short version:
It was getting WAY too stressful and we started wondering if maybe God was trying to tell us "WAIT you dummies! I have something better planned!" So, we decided to look for apartments and just slow down. On the day we looked for apartments, we found a small "for sale by owner" home.
The house was in the dual-language school zone we wanted but was just about as OPPOSITE as what we had been looking at so far.
It was fairly small 3 bedroom home (we had been looking at 4-5 rooms), it's a KB looking home (we were wanting something with character and this one has about as much character as I do when I'm 9 months pregnant...none), it's glued to all the homes next to it (we were looking for a little land) and it's next to UTSA (a college campus.)
So even though this wasn't what we were looking for it's the perfect home for us. Yes, we will have to make some sacrifices but Lord knows coming from where we just did and seeing what we have seen, we are incredibly blessed!
We just got approved for the loan friday and were hoping to move in in the next week or two. I couldn't even tell you all the small blessings that we have been given since making the decision to buy this home! Just a few... We found an awesome trail right by the house for the kids to play and ride their bikes! One of the girls in Sofia's class lives just 10 houses down! We already met some neighbors and they had done some mission work themselves! Lastly the people selling us the house have been ridiculously NICE and flexible!! They are giving us so many things in the house, letting us move in early and so much more! God had so much more planned for us:)

We have been living with my parents since we arrived in San Antonio and that has been one of the biggest blessings. They have helped homeschool my kids while they were waiting to get in school, inspected our homes, they have watched our kids while we searched many homes, have cooked many meals and have just been here for us during this process.

I could probably go ON and ON about this transition and how we have seen God work in incredible ways but this post is already pretty long:)

Next steps... Get into our house:) Our shipment arrives sometime this week or the next and Lee will be in Honduras all weekend so we are praying the timing works out. Once we are settled in (and await the arrival of baby #4) we plan on getting to know our neighbors, finding a church that we can be used in, traveling some and seeing what new adventures God has for our family!

We still tremendously grieve our life in Peru and especially our community of believers. We also have true peace that this is where we are suppose to be at and are excited to be a part of God's plans.

Thank you ALL for the roles you have played the last 6 years and for the roles in our transition! The prayers, emails, support, visits, gift cards, meals, recommendations etc... have kept us going and have meant the world. Y'all are the bomb.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders...."

2014-06-18T11:54:00.001-05:00

This song has held a special place in my heart for the past few months and will probably continue to sting my eyes every time I hear it for the next few.

The rest of the verse says:

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior"

After lots of prayers, "come to Jesus meetings" and tears, Lee and I have decided that our family will leave Peru at the beginning of next year (Jan-March 2015.) If I were just being honest I've had to go wash my face, to keep the tears from coming, twice with cold water since starting this post (I know it's only a few sentences so far:) I've been dreading writing this post for about 2 months and my emotions are on steroids!

Since starting this journey back in 2007 when we started our year of training with our team and Halbert Institute for Missions, I don't think Lee and I could have imagined the exciting, heart-breaking, fun, gut-wrenching, adventurous and faith building journey this was going to be. This verse popped up in my study this morning and I think it describes perfectly our last 7 years.

Though I would like to think that this journey has done nothing but use us to grow humongous fruit trees here in Lima, I think a large part of this adventure has been a pruning fest for Lee and I. Our faith, our marriage, our parenting, our kids, our friendships, our work, have ALL experienced pruning and it's been excruciating and beautiful all at the same time.

I was looking back at pictures to post on the blog (and of course had to stop because I couldn't stop crying, GEEZ!) and I couldn't believe all that God has let us experience in 7 short years. From our year of training with our team, to Costa Rica for 4 months of language training, to an unexpected 9 months back in Abilene waiting for the arrival of Liam and then off to Peru in November of 2009. In those 7 years we moved to 7 houses in 3 countries, lost a baby boy, welcomed another baby boy, Sofia had a heart procedure, we helped start a church, helped start a non-profit helping people in a shanty town, went to the jungle (and brought back a whole other experience called Malaria:), slept in the mountains, drove through desert, surfed in the ocean, all 3 kids started "big school" here, all 3 kids became bi-langual, we started the Segunda Chanza Store, started EverFIT Bootcamp classes, made incredible friends, laughed, cried and made more memories than we could ever have imagined.

Lima, Peru is an incredibly beautiful, adventurous place to live and the people here have welcomed us with open arms. It's hard to believe that I won't see my little market friends Edwards and Maria, my school moms (Maria, Marou, Karim, Anita, Carmen etc....) I've had breakfast with on a monthly basis for 4 years, our church community (can't name them all:), our teammates (need I say more), our surfing friends, our expat friends, our baseball friends, our neighbors, my bootcamp crew:(, the Wong grocery boys, the community of Paraiso in the shanty town, Carlos (our neighbor who Lee is with on a daily basis), Meche (the lady who has worked in our home since Liam was 5 weeks old.) I mean REALLY?!?! This is ugly cry stuff here folks.

I think one of the reasons it was so hard for Lee and I to make the decision to leave is that well...things are good. Lee is LOVING his work. He is IN HIS ELEMENT folks. Serving people and loving on people is what my man does well. This project in Villa Maria-Paraiso has him so incredibly excited! He loves spending time up on that mountain talking to the construction crew and getting dirty in the dirt with them. This project will help change a lot of lives and that gives him a skip in his step. The time he spends with the team guys has been uplifting and fun. They are in a groove folks:) The bible study he has out in another part of Lima is growing and he is training up another guy that is going to take over. The church is growing deep. The church isn't growing in numbers each week but the depth each week is building a strong community.

Our kids are all at the same school now. We are really active in the school and hope to get them involved in our Second Chance store soon (here is a link if you want to know what the store is all about- https://www.dropbox.com/s/6ghtdu4gmje kw3b/Segunda%20Chanza.m4v?n=204415616 )

The kids love school and they are also in their groove.

All this to say is it's hard to leave in a groove. You know what I mean??? There are positives and negatives to leaving when the work is good.

Ok, I knew this post was going to be long but it keeps getting longer by the minute so I better get to "the rest of the story."

We probably have as many unanswered questions as anyone BUT here are a few things we do know:

We feel ready to leave full-time church planting ministry. Let me expound. When we started on this journey we knew we were taking on a job that was essentially a "working ourselves out of job" situation. Like I said earlier, the church is doing good and when things are good, not as many "gringos" are needed. This is a great problem and sets us up well in our teams "Exit Strategy" (yes, we do have a name for this:) We also have realized that are gifts lay in other ministry opportunities and we are excited to see where God wants to use us next! No matter where we go, we know we want to serve in some ministry capacity and get our hands dirty.

We feel like for our family's physical health, we need to leave Lima (allergies and asthma.)

I'm sure you thought that this list might be a little longer but NO! Believe me when I say that we wish we had a SUPER long list of things confirming the feeling that we are being called away from Peru but that's all I got folks.

Here are a few more knowns:

We are still in the adoption process and hope to take our child (or children) back with us when we leave. We have been told that we have no problems with this so we are praying this is still the case.
We both are going to need jobs. More specifically, Lee is going to need a job and I will work where and when I can:)

We have been extremely blessed with some possible opportunities for Lee but because we can't foresee the future, let me just say something real quick...

My husband is the most honest, hard-working, genuine, smart, savvy, strong and multi-talented man you will ever meet. The man can do anything and I'm NOT just being biased here.

I mean he is bilingual, has a degree in political science, master in international relations, certificate in conflict management or something like that (I think I drove him to get this:), has like 10 years in construction work, human resource experience, inter-cultural experience, started a non-profit (that is no small feat in a 3rd world country), was a property manager for a large hospital and dude the guy is just good (he's also hot so he could be an awesome poster face for your company, just sayin.)

So if you know of a job that is about changing people's lives, uses Spanish, uses politics, relational skills, building stuff, is exciting and pays enough for a possible family of 7, then let us KNOW!

That was his resume reduced to a short few sentences. All inquiries and job offers can be directed to Rleefletcher@gmail.com:)))

*Family and friends in the US, you might want to skip this bullet point. We are open to living anywhere but a couple preferences would either be in Texas (specifically the Austin, San Antonio area) or Mexico. Those being our first two options we have talked about the fact that we aren't sure we necessarily are ready to live back in the US yet. All this to say we are open. This would take too long to explain so carry on.
We would like our lives, work and ministry to still be involved in a Latin culture of some sort. This might look like a dual-language program for our kids at school, moving into a predominantly Hispanic area if we move to Texas, getting involved in Hispanic-based ministry and lots of other ways.

Wow, this is long. Hard to sum up the past 7 years and your future plans in a short post though. We can't thank all of you for going along with us on this journey though. We couldn't have made it without your prayers, your emails, your financial support, your visits, your care packages and so much more.

As with all big transitions we are going to ask for your fervent prayers in the next 8 months. We are going to need a LOT of guidance from God. We are asking for God to open doors WIDE or shut them HARD! We need prayers for our adoption process to go smoothly. We need prayers for jobs, decisions on where to go, houses etc... wow, this is getting a little overwhelming just typing this, haha! We are also raising a "settlement fund" that will help get us home, send us to a "repatriation program" and help with re-settling cost. If you would like more detailed information on this you can email me at stephanie.a.fletcher@gmail.com

Here is to finally making this official. Trust without borders.... I'm pretty sure I'm going to need meds around month 6. For the love.

Costa Rica 2008 (yes, my hair was orange. Don't ask)

Arrived in Lima, Peru November 10th, 2009 2am. 4 year old, 2 year old and 5 week old. 15 bags, double stroller, 2 carseats and one diaper bag.

Abilene 2013. The craziness still continues...

Adoption Update

2014-05-25T22:12:00.002-05:00

This past Monday we had our last evaluation from the psychologist in our home. Here is a summary:
Liam slapped the psychologist butt to welcome her into our home (y'all he has slapped E.V.E.R.Y persons butt that has walked into our home the past month including the grocery delivery man, first time visitors to church, the construction man working on the house across the street etc..), Maddox climbed onto the couch and went airborne onto our giant bean bag after he told the woman that he wanted a boy so that the new kid and Liam could share a bed and Maddox could FINALLY have his own bed (cool.) Then as a grand finale, Sofia tried to help me out as she saw the panicked look on my face and took the boys out in the front yard (that is, the 5 feet of grass we have in the front of our house) except they ended up tying a rope to the top of the garage opener and were trying to swing from it and then as one fell over the other all I remember were tears, some yelling and the psychologist telling me I should probably check on the kids.... help me Jesus.

Needless to say that when the lady left, THIS is what happened at our house-

Lee had a come to Jesus meeting with all 3 kids about their behavior. I sat back, took the picture and just laughed imagining what she was writing in her report.

I thought about the fact that my family isn't perfect. My kids scream, I scream. They fight, we fight. We jump across furniture and sometimes get hurt. We play basketball in our living room because we have no yard. We also skate in the house for the same reason. We get mad. We hug. We cry. We laugh. We talk about why so many kids don't have homes. We pray about giving kids a home. We have dance parties. We have time outs. We give and we take away. We fail some days and we learn the others. One thing I do know for sure though-we gotta lot of love and we got Jesus. We don't do perfect well at all and that's why some kid or some kids are going to fit great into this crazy thing called family.

We have a month to wait for them to go through ALL of our evaluations and declare us "Eligible to Adopt" (or not:) At this point we will go through all the legal business and paper work (can't wait...ughh.) Once we have gone through all the legal work we will be on the waiting list.... My heart skips a beat every time I say those words. We wait. We wait to get a call to tell us that they have a child they think might fit well into our family (which will probably include some tears, smiles and a little hyperventilation:) We have around 5 days to decide (sometimes you get lots of info, medical/family history and pictures and sometimes you only get a name.) If we decide YES, then we would all fly to the region of Peru that the child is in and we stay for about 5 days to get to know the child's environment and then bring them (or him/her) back to Lima.

Everything about time-frame, visas, passports etc... just makes my head dizzy so we have just taken it one day at a time.

This is all we know for now. We would love to have you all partner with us in prayer about a few things:

That God is preparing/protecting the hearts of the child or children right now as they wait for a family
That God is preparing our hearts (especially our Sofia, Maddos and Liam) for the child or children that He is getting ready for us
That my birth certificate from Switzerland gets to Lima and that the proper steps have been taken to get it ready (y'all, this is taking FOREVER and it's a lot harder than you can imagine!)
Timing. God only knows the timing but because of our departure from Peru early next year (next blog post:) we are obviously in somewhat of a time crunch to get our kids! We would love prayers that kids are chosen quickly and that the paperwork all works out in a timely manner.

Thank you for your prayers and your constant encouragement!!! This is an adventure for sure!

I'm Sorry...

2014-04-08T22:26:00.000-05:00

As some of you may know my Grandma on my dad's side passed away two weeks ago. At the last minute I decided to make the trip to celebrate her life (thanks to my super generous folks) and it was the best decision I've ever made.
I met precious family I had never had the privilege to meet, grieved with them and was able to spend some quality time with just my dad, my mom and me (rare and tremendous.)
If I stopped there, that would not be the WHOLE story and as you know I'm not one to NOT keep it real.

You see, I also decided I needed a little help. I have been struggling with a lot of emotions the past few years and I figured it was about time to talk to someone who might know a little bit about this:) A.K.A. a psychologist. I spent a few days alone in their cabana talking to an incredible psychologist and his incredible wife. Between the two of them we figured out a few things:) Mainly that I deal with a lot of fear. Fear of failure and fear of being weak amongst many others. This has caused a lot of ugly reactions and a lot of hurt on my part. The good news though is that we've called it out, we've faced it and now I'm better equipped for war (as I feel it is sometimes:)
I'm trying to condense this weekend and all the emotional crap that I sifted thru into that last sentence because that's actually not the purpose of this post. If you want more on that then email me, I'll be glad to talk to about it.

I've been home for a week now, as of today. It's been a good week. I've been talking to friends, having sweet talks with my awesome hubs, spending quality time with my kids (i.e. not yelling at them:) and all in all I feel like I'm heading in the right direction. Then I called a great friend of mine.... and a long talk led me to this post (this is honestly me trying to condense SOOO much in my mind and my heart and my ADD kicking in, into an organized post. I'm trying folks!)

While we were talking this is what she shared "Stephanie, I got onto Facebook to look at a friends post about her sick child (she doesn't have her own account which I think might be a smart thing for me too:) and ALL I saw were christians in full-on debates. About the dumb Noah movie, about World Vision and their stance on gay marriage etc... How could people that share the same Holy Spirit inside of them that I have, say some of the things they are saying?!?! My whole life I've never doubted my faith until now. This has all got to be a joke! Why in the world could you explain the things being said and the way we treat each other?!?!"

Silence. What do you say? What do I say? The truth is... I have felt the EXACT same way. I've never been so aware of the way that Christ's lovers treat each other more than I have the past 4 years on the field....as a missionary.

My heart is pounding as I'm typing and I'm trying HARD to practice my deep breathing that I learned in yoga (that's right, I take yoga folks and before you might even think to gear your thoughts one way be careful...because I have had more prayer time and quiet time with God in yoga class then I have ANYwhere else. Ok, I'm done)

You can look back at over 160 posts on this blog or over 150 short blurbs on Facebook and I can almost guarantee that you will not find anything too controversial on there. Why? Probably a lot of fear (which I mentioned earlier, so see I am tying this together somehow:) but also because the best question is why would I?
As I was talking to my precious friend I told her that I fully felt her heart. We both have hearts for justice. In fact we are justice SEEKERS. I have done a LOT of things wrong in my life as a Christ follower/lover. I have doubted more times than I can count. In fact as I mentioned before, I have doubted my faith more as a missionary than I have any other time in my life. I've been bitter, disappointed, sad and down-right ANGRY about so many things since I've been here. I've seen churches do some ugly things on account of tradition, I've seen people get hurt on account of "sticking to what is right", I've read words that cut to make a point and I've steered clear of all these debates here in my own little world.

Well folks, I'm coming back. That's right, we are headed back the US next year (I will give you the FULL story in a later post, I promise:) and it's something that has caused a lot of anxiety in me but I have at least 9 months to work through that so that's what I plan on doing and here is how:

LOVE GOD, LOVE PEOPLE, LOVE SIMPLY

You know since I have been here in Lima, one of my biggest fears has been to teach the bible to others. I know you can go ahead and laugh or gasp or whatever. I've literally tried all I could to avoid that part of mission work (believe me there are many more parts in case you are wondering, we don't do 60 hours of one on one studies each week) out of fear that I will fail someone at the first question they ask that I can't answer. BUT the other night when I was on the phone I realized something- sometimes relishing in the mystery of God, being in an intimate relationship with God and loving Him and his people is NOT rocket science. I KNOW how to do that. I KNOW how to serve and use my gifts and I have been doing that here in spite of the emotional and spiritual turmoil inside my head.

There are some things that I see as black and white but there is SO much gray for me in the Bible that sometimes it makes my eyes cross! I KNOW I don't have it figured out and I can assure you nobody does. I've stripped off that fear that "people know SOOO much more than me about the word so who am I to study with someone." My simple mind has it down to 3 things:

LOVE GOD, LOVE PEOPLE, LOVE SIMPLY

Here is where the title comes in. I'm sure I have NOT been a good example of that to people that don't know Christ, to people that are on the edge of making that decision or to people that have proclaimed the Lord as their savior. For this I am SO sorry. I'm sorry for putting doubt into that unbeliever. I'm sorry if I have said anything on this blog or on Facebook that has caused someone that was curious about this life I lead to be turned off by my words or actions.

I'm NOT here to debate theology, nor to debate gay marriage, not here to discuss the use of a guitar in service, nor my sister in Christ praying in church or not, nor church names, nor Noah movies, nor water emersion, alcohol drinking or anything else. If you want that debate, I don't have time. You want to know why? Cause I'm busy-

LOVING GOD, LOVING PEOPLE, LOVING SIMPLY

Do I think it's actually this simple? Yeah, I do. It's how I'm choosing to live and I honestly believe that if we spent HALF of the time we spend debating on Facebook, slandering each other and other precious humans and spent that time loving on them, we might actually have nothing to talk about.

P.S. Just wanted to add (after waking up at 1:00am in a sweat:) that this is NOT to say that I am not going to be stumbling, falling and making MANY mistakes (as I already have, Lord help me) along this journey BUT it just means that I'm hoping that all the others claiming to be on this same journey of loving God and loving people, will also grant me the same grace we were so graciously given.

P.S.S. This also does not mean that I don't have some strong convictions about certain things. It just means that God's first two commandments are CLEAR and even when certain things might make me angry, sad or just have me disagree that I am FIRST called to Love. That means there is a certain arena, manner and loving way in which to handle questions, debates or thoughts.
Ok, now I'm really done.

The One Year Malaria Anniversary (is that seriously a TITLE?!?!)

2014-03-17T21:03:00.001-05:00

Ok, so first of all I'm going to have to admit that as I got on the blog to write tonight I could NOT remember how to log in. That means... I'm not a blogger. I also noticed (when I finally figured it out) that we had ONE yes ONE post (the adoption announcement) in between when I posted about our awesome jungle trip (you know that place that the CDC here in Lima told us NOT to take malaria medicine because there wasn't any there:)

I honestly can't believe it's been a year since the most awesome man in my life got bit by a dumb mosquito and caused our family to go through two of the worst weeks of our lives. I don't need to recount those two weeks because I'm sure you know the gist of it but I will say this- I am SO thankful that God answered our fervent prayers in the way we were begging. I've told the story too many times to count but the part that gets me all teary each time is the way that God POURED out his blessings on our family during the month of March. I still sometimes recall a kind act that I had forgotten about. Like as I was planning my kids parties the last couple weeks, it made me remember how the Wissmans and their whole Chorillos crew came an hour early to Maddox's party and literally threw the whole party together in 45 minutes. I mean people this list could go ON and ON. My brother was in San Antonio hunting down doctors in random hospitals to get advice. My teammates spent EVERY hour by my side just so we had two people with Lee at all times. My best friend from high school (a nurse) was gathering info and emailing me non-stop. Ok, I better stop or I could seriously go ALL night.

This is just all to say that God is GOOD! It irritates me to the core that I doubt this so much when I have the perfect example of that every time I see my hotty of a husband walking around our house and wrestling with our kids. Man, I am blessed. Anyway, just wanted to acknowledge that it has been a year and we have made it through with flying colors (minus that little relapse in May:)
He is doing awesome and I love him more with every day that goes by.

Happy Malaria Survival Day!!!

The day we thought he looked AWESOME! Then soon to get tons of messages telling me how horrible he looked, HAHA! Hey in comparison he DID look awesome here:)

This picture of the room gives the chills and I would be ok if we NEVER went there again:) Spent WAY too many hours here.

Our Journey Continues to Get Exciting!!!!

2013-10-10T12:21:00.002-05:00

It’s only been over a year since I posted on this blog so I thought I would come back with a BANG!!!

This blog all started with our journey to Peru. You journeyed with us to Costa Rica for language school. You grieved with us at the loss of our unborn baby Levi. You laughed (and probably rolled your eyes a few times) at our ups and downs about living the crazy life of missionaries in Lima, Peru. You prayed for our family through mission projects, fundraising, hard times as parents, health issues with our kids and more recently our malaria craze! Well now we want to ask you all to join us on another journey….Adoption.

As I write that word A LOT of emotions flood my mind and my heart. I’m excited and scared to death all at the same time. It’s no secret that parenting has been a journey in itself for me and some people are probably reading this thinking “what in the WORLD are you guys thinking!?!?!” and well, they would be right.

It’s something that I have dreamed about since I was 14 years old and started going on mission trips to Haiti and Romania. I dreamed of adopting two little Haitians with afros as big as mine and NOTHING would stop me. I was even blessed enough to marry a man who also wanted to adopt children one day. Then something happened… I had kids of my own. All these fears and negative feelings I never had before started creeping into my heart and soul. Words like “you don’t have enough patience for more”, “you have a hard enough time with the 3 you already have!”, "you don't like crafts, playing barbies for hours and can't even keep up with chore charts! , "what if you feel differently about your adopted kids than your biological kids?" and on and on and on.

So, I started talking and thinking about it less. It was still a hope that Lee and I would talk about every once in a while but soon became a touchy subject with us. He was still 100% in and I was just not there. This past year Lee and I had some hard talks and he shared how hard my "backing out" of adoption was. I told him I wasn't backing out, I was just needing some time to get ready (I think I was waiting for a sign like having a kid dropped off on my doorstep as one of those "sure signs.") We quickly found out that even our views on adoption weren't quite the same and wondered how in the world we were going to compromise on an issue such as a child. I wanted slightly older, he wanted younger. I wanted Haitians or Africans and he wanted whatever. He wanted them yesterday and I wanted to wait until our kids were older. Then something else happened at the end of last year.... I read a book and my heart slowly began to change. Lee and I came to these conclusion:

We realized that those verses in the bible that say to take care of the orphans and widows were for real.

We realized that we had 3 kids that were dying for some siblings and not only open to adoption but begging for it.

We realized that every call isn't necessarily what you want or how you want it but that's the perfect kind of mess that helps us to lean on the One we are suppose to.

We also realized that lots of kids need loving home and well...we had one available. Boom. It was actually that simple.

When I started viewing adoption as a calling instead of fearing all the unknowns and waiting for something magical to happen in me, the ball started rolling. I started realizing that there was never going to be a perfect time or I was never going to have enough patience on my own, so I told myself to get over it. This was a challenge. A challenge for me to let go of ME and let God move. I figured I've been called to other things in the past where I didn't feel sufficient (oh I don't know like being a MISSIONARY!) and God provided in mighty ways, so here we go! I'm going answer the call (gulp) and then just depend on God for all the rest (Lord knows I hope He has a few tricks up His sleeve:)

So here is the beginning of our story folks. Our meeting last night was just another confirmation that THIS is right. We had so many questions and thought at some point that they would tell us we couldn't adopt because of timing, that we already had too many kids, that getting the child into the US would be too hard or that we wouldn't be able to have two. Well ALL of our questions were met with positivity and encouragement.

We start our adoption classes next week and they will run for 6 weeks. During that period we will be SCRAMBLING to get a ton of paperwork done. We have to have tons of documents notarized in the US then shipped here etc... it will NOT be easy but it will be worth it. We will also need to find an agency in the US that will agree to 3 years of post-adoption counseling and paperwork. Were going to take this one day at a time though and not get overwhelmed (who am I kidding?!?! I know I will have MANY overwhelming days, haha!)

We should be on the waiting list in 6 months and at that point we can get a call at any time that will give us 7 days to accept or deny that child. We are going for TWO (we have a thing about wanting two kids that look alike so they have someone they can physically relate to in the family, though Maddox is looking more and more like a Peruvian these days:) We can't choose gender but lets not lie, we are hoping for a boy and a girl. Obviously we will be happy with whatever we get:)

Well this is as much as I know at this point. I love that you all are going to be on this journey with us in so many different capacities!!! Mostly we just need prayers for peace, for quick paperwork and to prepare all of our hearts for whoever God brings to our family.

Oh and I will accept any adoption advice ever known to man! I'm going to need all the help, lawyers, agencies, prayers, advice, books, counseling that you can ever imagine!!! Let's DO THIS!!!!

Welcome to the Jungle...

2013-03-01T21:40:00.004-06:00

...we got fun and games (you knew that was coming, didn't you?).

After a long dry spell, I wanted to break open the blog again with a brief post about our most recent trip in Peru. Ever since being here, we've wanted to travel and see this place a bit. Its not always easy to make it happen due to time and work constraints (as well as cash flow, ha!) but when we can we've enjoyed seeing different places here.

Just recently we visited Iquitos. We'd been to the jungle before but never the deep jungle but now we can say we have. In short, the trip was amazing. We got to spend some great time as a family, see some amazing animals, hear the sounds and see the sights, and also spend the trip with some good friends that went with us (the Goodfellows, check out their blog post: http://www.goodfellowfamily.blogspot.com/).

Apart from a snag at departure (Lee missed our flight to Iquitos because he HAD to take his BB gun and the Peruvians threw a hissy-fit (no worries, he got on the next one soon after) and a trip to the hospital (Maddox got to feeling pretty nasty), we had an amazing time. We ate the local foods (such as Suri (a grub worm (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6aaCTOIzPU)), homemade sausage (wouldn't recommend it), great fruit, amazing fish from the rivers, and even some Texas BBQ at the Yellow Rose of Texas which was good but way overrated and certainly not Texan (I think the guy is actually Cajun.) We also saw some jaguars, held monkeys (an item on my bucket list!), swam in the rivers, saw the Amazon and road in I don't know how many boats. Our lodge was in a local village of about 300 people which was an amazing place. We'd walk the dirt roads in the afternoons and talk to the villagers and Lee even got asked to preach (which he did) at a Catholic church that only has a priest come once every three months. Picture a small village church, maybe 20 people present, and almost pitch black minus 3 small candles burning. Those that were there were so kind to us and so sweet to allow Lee to speak. In short, the trip was wonderful. We made some memories for a life-time!

I've posted a few pics so you can see a little bit of what we we're blessed to see and do.

The 3 Stooges Mogli resting up
This pic shows their personalities

Some of the kids out for a row What a cutie!

The Worst Missionary Ever...

2012-09-02T12:00:00.003-05:00

So obviously if you even come over to our blog anymore and haven't given up on us writing then you are a faithful friend (or have an automatic alert when I post:) It has been months since I've posted anything and I have been trying to figure out why!

The answer finally came a few days ago...fear. I've realized that in a world of amazing award winning blogs, unbelievably crafty moms, politically correct readers and all of our income coming from folks that subscribe to this blog I started growing a fear. I wanted my post to be meaningful, funny, deep, funny, filled with pictures, funny and that would make people go "wow, they are some good missionaries or just good folk!" So.... I quit writing. HA! I got tired of that feeling of wanting to share with friends and family what was really going on in my heart and not knowing how to contort it, put big words in it, attach the right picture to it, say it to where I still came out on top or to just make it well...pretty.

This post won't have a picture (though don't worry I'll post pictures on the next ones to catch you guys up on MONTHS of adventures:) and I'm not going to make it pretty. It will probably look more like vomit.

Here is the truth- by some standards I would be considered the WORST MISSIONARY EVER! I say by SOME standards because this is NOT a pity party. There are days I've bought into that lie and wondered how in the world God could use me in Lima, Peru and then God throws me a morsel and says "see Steph! I want to use you. I don't have to have you but I WANT to use you here!"
But, on those other days when I do buy into that lie it's because of this:

1. Faith. For the past 4 years I have struggled a TON with my faith. I've shared this several times in other posts but I've done a pretty good job of sugar-coating it. Let me break it down for you. Since losing Levi 4 years ago september 4th I've struggled with God. I've struggled to understand our call here though obviously I've been able to live here and truly love it. I've felt like I've been sliding by on very little and keep having SO many questions with not a ton of answers. I've struggled with truth vs interpretation.

2. Words. Since I've been on the mission field I've struggled with my tongue! Confession time...I've said more bad words in the past 3 years then I have in my entire life. Why? It's called Road Rage. That's all I can say. It's not an excuse but when your yelled at, cut off 13 times in one day, cut off from a car in the far right lane that decides to go left, hit by buses and then tried to get talked into the fact that it was my fault since he was illegally cutting me off but did have his "turning signal" on, well that has led to a few bad words and even me hitting a taxi... on purpose. Yes, I did. I've repented. I don't think well be putting a sticker on the back of our car with anything like "I heart missionaries" anytime soon.

3. Parenting. I've NOT been a good missionary mama to my children. Truly parenting has been a struggle. I dreamed my whole life of being a mom and then when I became one I had to figure out what I had been thinking all those years:) Don't get me wrong I LOVE my kiddos. They are hilarious and obnoxious all at the same time. I had a wise woman tell me that I am the perfect mom for MY kids and that has proven to be so true! BUT, I know that I have not done my part in a lot of ways and I want to speak differently to them. I want to speak softly (and not grunt or scream), I want to speak words of truth and encouragement and not have my kids feel defeated after I've spent 10 minutes telling them why their behavior is that of a farm animal.

4. Prayer. I've also been in a real struggle with my prayer life. I struggle to feel or hear God in my prayer life. I've also struggled with this question- "if God already knows the outcome of a situation then what is the purpose of me asking for something different?" I've had SO many people give me answers for this and they make sense but then I revert back to my same questions and thoughts. I talk to God, oh do we talk. I spend so much time begging, asking, talking etc... that I'm not sure I would even hear Him if He was giving me some responses. I continuously pray for answers and intimacy with Him and all along He's probably just sitting there in a rocking chair rocking back and forth waiting for me to crawl up and have a seat.

4. The Bible. Ok, so let's recap. I'm a missionary who... struggles with her faith and her disbelief, says bad words, needs to go to parenting etiquette school and has a hard time praying. Awesome. So I'll just go ahead and throw in the towel and explain my struggle with the bible. I have the hardest time being in the word! That's right, I'm a missionary who struggles reading her bible. All I know is that I'm really glad that Lee is the one "officially" getting paid as the missionary because I should be fired by now:) I now am the proud owner of 7 bibles. All different and holding the promise that THIS one I will understand and do a better job of consistently reading it.
I WANT to read it. I want to understand it. I want to be able to quote verses when someone needs it. I'll just settle for knowing details to most childhood bible stories! (not really I wouldn't settle for that. Just being explicit here.)
I will say that I've found several studies that I love and that has really helped me in understanding the bible better but I have this burning desire just to BE in the word, understanding it and applying it. I don't want to have to rely on a guided study anytime I want to understand the word. I mean imagine the bible studies that I try to be a part of here, in Spanish for that matter. I start getting sweaty armpits before it even starts that someone is going to ask me a question and that I won't know the answer. So there. It's all out there.

My Hope...
Here is my hope for those of you reading this. I hope that you are encouraged. I hope that if you ever thought that missionaries have it all together (I know, that's funny) then this should completely end THAT nonsense.
I hope that if you struggle with any of these that you now know you are not alone.
I hope that if you feel encouraged by reading this, that you might learn that sharing struggles is freeing and that it takes strength away from Satan!
I hope that you will pick one or all of these struggles I've shared and put them on the fore-front of your prayer list.
I hope that some of you more older, wiser women will find younger women and just assume that they could use your wisdom. Oh how I have wished in the past 4 years that some women would have approached me and just asked me about my faith walk and took me under their wing. I think older women have such a gift, a gift of experience, a gift of wisdom and there have been so many times I've needed to be put in my place, given a plan, needed to be prayed over, given me parenting wisdom or a just an encouraging word to let me know this will pass.
Please here me say that I have some incredible women in my life that have filled those needs at times but when it comes to mentoring and wisdom more is BETTER! I also know that there have been times that those needs haven't been met and I know there are other women out there struggling with some of these things (guys too!) and if some of you more "experienced/wise" (trying to stay away from the word "older":) ladiesnhave ever felt weird about asking a younger wife, a younger mom, a younger missionary if they could use your expertise or prayers I'm gonna guess the answer will be "YES!!!" So my HOPE is that more of this happens or maybe that just one person will feel called to seek out someone younger to take under their wing after this.

The Good News...
Here is the "other side of the story." As I am still struggling with all of these (and obviously there is a lot more that I struggle with but I try to have some discernment in details of my vomit on a blog:) God has also been gentle and patient. One of the huge ways He has showed up recently is through two books called 7 and Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker. This will have to be left for a different post but let me tell you that I have been changed. Like I said, I still struggle BUT after reading these books I've realized that I have no desire to go back to who I was and how I was before this lull. I want to be different. I want to be extreme and I want to do it ALL because that is who and how I think God has called me to be. The first thing I learned is exactly what I just did today. I'm freeing myself from the shell or bubble if you will of where I was living.

Just recently I was talking with a Peruvian sister that had made a mistake and she said "I just don't want to go to church because I'm too embarrassed to show my face." I was CRUSHED!!! What image was I, our church here in Lima and thinking bigger here-our Christian community around the world putting on if our new christians were too embarrassed to show up if they had made a mistake?!?! I sat her down and tried hard to not get loud when I said "what in the world do you think our community is for??? If church was only for people that didn't make mistakes then we would be out of a job and there would be no church!" I continued to explain that that is exactly where she needed to be, among a group of people that loved her and excepted her just the way she was, NO questions asked. I have to say though, I pondered over this one for days!!!
I thought to myself "am I doing my part to build a community that encourages confession? That encourages times of sharing joys, sorrows, pain? That shares my own struggles so that others know that so many others are in the same boat??? What am I doing to make church NOT be about programs, entertainment, award winning crafts, whether or not God prefers a guitar or not etc....? How am I trying to build pure community, pure worship and a pure relationship with God?

So, that's where I'm at. I'm a struggling 33 year old wife, mother of 3, missionary here in Lima Peru that is on a journey of something more pure and more extreme. Easy.

PS If you haven't read Interrupted or 7 can I suggest you do? Oh and this is coming from someone who NEVER reads self-help or Christian books (there I go again trying to get fired! Hey there is nothing in the bible that says I have to read those types of books... right??? Oh but I'm on a role with this "new me" and I'm going for my 3rd soon-Mother Teresa! Surely that ones gotta be good!)

May-Mother's Day

2012-05-22T19:46:00.001-05:00

There is something that happens here in May that is almost as big as Christmas. It's called Mother's Day!!! I'm NOT kidding. There is a huge production at school, special promotions at every store in Lima and prizes all around. People even called to wish me a Happy Mother's Day.

My kids each had their own show and both were amazing. Sofia was chosen to sing with some other kids in the front and she sang her little heart out. Maddox CRACKED me up as he won the "best dancer award" and played his part up! I have video of it somewhere but that will take a little longer to find:)

Sofia ready for her big performance

My little prince with his hair part that DADDY combed!

Are they not the cutest???

That hair part is trippin!!!

He wanted SO bad to be a part of the show:)

Getting ready with her mic

Getting her cheese on as she sings a Bruno Mars song

Get it girl!

She's a natural

Her class

Getting prepped on stage:)

Doing his solo at the beginning

Two Funny Videos I Found:)))

2012-05-22T17:54:00.001-05:00

I found these videos of Sofia and Maddox telling me what they wanted for Christmas and I about died laughing!!! They are some funny kids! Oh and I am back-tracking to December here.

February

2012-05-22T15:36:00.002-05:00

Yes, I am TOTALLY posting backwards but most of the time my life is just that way and I embrace it! February was also an incredibly fun month. For several reasons but mainly because Brett and Jenna Bishop came to visit! Some of their friends Jason and Hannah also joined in on the fun and we all had a blast. They were SO good about joining in on our crazy life and helping out in any and every way. One of those ways was loving on our kiddos and as you will tell from some of the pictures our kids fell completely in-love with Brett and Jenna (wasn't that hard to do!) I'm not sure Maddox or Liam were not ever NOT sitting on top of Brett and Sofia thought Jenna hung the moon.

Other events in February was the dreaded back-to-school shopping (check out the picture of the list below), Sofia and Maddox getting to experience some Peruvian soccer, our back to school outreach in Villa Maria and fun times with our family group (family group is like our small group that meets in our home. We have one during the day and one in the evening and we absolutely love getting together with these friends to build community and share our faith.)

Enjoy the pics!!!

Ok, so I had to post this because I'm not one of those crafty mom's so it HAD to be documented that I got an idea on pinterest and actually made these noodle hot dog things for the kids to eat. Ok, well at least that's my idea of a craft:) Let it be documented.

French Bread. We bought this amount of bread just about every other day while our friends were staying with us, it is INCREDIBLE bread!!! Oh and I forgot to mention that while Brett, Jenna, Hannah and Jason were here we also ended up having some friends of ours get kicked out of their house and their family of 6 were with us as well (though they were super easy and all 16 of us got a long great:)))) They all only overlapped a day I think.

Maddox as always positioned right on top of Brett (taking a drink break from soccer)

Liam and his ice-cream. This boy is obsessed!

We had a team valentines dinner and thought picture is horrible it was SUPER fun and valentinish:)

Jenna and Hannah slaved over these for several hours I'm pretty sure:)

Valentines morning. Dad's famous pink pancakes

I know I love holidays WAY too much! We love to celebrate around these parts!

Carlos (our neighbor who is in our family group) making cupcakes to pass out to people in Villa Maria

Jenna baking away with our family group!

Gaby (also part of our family group) pouring the mix!

Liam and Maddox once again with their favorite chair:)

Jenna and I the night before they left:( We waited till the last minute to get a picture and the place was so dark nothing would come out, haha!

Going up the steps in Villa Maria, ready for school supply giveaway!!

The kids were all kinds of excited about that day

Lee talking to the kids (yes, that is sweat on his back but man it is HOT in that little room!)

Ok, do you just not want to squeeze her!?!

Here is my school supply list, TRIPPIN!!!

Sofia checkin out her opponents in soccer:)

Maddox in action

Oh yeah, just push that kid away Maddox that's how you do it! JK

Sofia and her friend Brady awaiting their certificates for completing the program

So cute!

Love that the teacher has him by the arm. He just HAS to be in the front or that boy is out of control

Bub and Sis

Some famous soccer players. Sorry, don't know names here. Oh and don't worry when Maddox went to go get the guys autograph he asked "whats your name?" We like to play it cool around here.

Just thought this picture was adorable. My friend Liz (she is one of my closest friends here from Australia) and all of the kids in a back-scratching train. Love it!

April

2012-05-22T14:13:00.002-05:00

There was a whole island filled with penguins at the little oasis that we went to in Paracas

Hope took this picture of Sofia TOTALLY crashing a wedding at the hotel. It was SO funny she just went right in. That's my girl!

Just wanted to throw this one in here so you guys could all see how cool my hair looks about 98% of the time here in Peru:)

Sofia at the beginning of her lessons going tandem with Jesus (that's his name)

Hope and Easton (are they not just SO cute!!!)

Ok, so this picture messed up but it was the cutest picture of Maddox in AWE of Easton. He would just sit there and listen to him like he was a super hero!!!

First time up on the board with Jesus (again, that's his name)

Just had to throw this one in here cause this kid keeps us laughing ALL the time!

Maddox and Sofia getting ready to surf (this was Maddox's first and last lesson, haha) Maybe in another year.

This boy is READY, mama isn't quite ready though for him to go in

Keeps us smiling

Sofia's instructors

Practicing on land

Maddox and Liam playing with one of the instructors (actually the owner of the surf school)

And she's going solo....tear

Maddox about to be thrown in by one of the instructors

I just loved watching these boys watch Sofia, too funny!

All of them going in

Ok, so i've decided that maybe I'm a "once a month blogger:)" Just kidding! I still have high hopes of blogging more often but then life just happens. I decided that I would post about April since lots of fun stuff happened.

First of all we have officially become a surfing family. That is saying A LOT coming from a girl who hasn't gone passed her knees into an ocean since she almost drown when she was 9 (Marie-Claire and Penny Gilliland, do you gals remember that??)

Anyway, this year I have decided to conquer some fears. This was one. Why I chose to do that by surfing I have no idea. Sofia was inspired by the movie "Soul Surfer" and we were off. Lee had already done some surfing on his own so we set out and we LOVED it. Sofia started off on a board with another instructor and now she is up on her own. It's absolutely amazing to watch her and see how passionate she is about it. That little girl is fearless and has truly helped me get passed (well I'm not TOTALLY passed:) my fear.
She was recently asked by a Spaniard that had been watching her surf if he could have his picture with her because he thought she would be a champion one day. Yes, her head grew a few sizes that day:)
Maddox enjoys watching us surf:) He tried one time (a family rule of ours, you have to try it once) and he was content playing in the sand after that. Liam practices lots on his skateboard and will be ready by next summer.
The coolest part is that my instructor has come to church and another one is coming this week. I love that ministry can even happen in the WATER!!!

Lee turned 35 on April 13th and he got the best gift of all, HOPE AND EASTON HARROLD!!! They arrived right in time to celebrate with a weekend away in Paracas. Lee and I had never been there and after arriving we thought "why in the WORLD did we wait 2.5 years to come here?!?" It was like a little paradise oasis just a few hours away from Lima!
We relaxed and just played with Hope and Easton and it was an absolute gargantuan lift to our spirits. Really wherever we are with Hope and Easton it's a spirit lifter, they are about the funnest people we know!

I'm sure tons more happened in April but baby steps here:) Just glad I got one post out. Were all sick at home so who knows I might get A LOT of blogging done!

Juice Plus

2012-03-21T22:57:00.000-05:00

One of the questions we're asked from time to time is how people can help what we do here in Peru. Well, to answer that, I want to first say thanks so much for asking! The interest in us alone, but also the willingness to help, means the world to us. In addition, though, I'd point out two ways that are of tremendous help and encouragement to us.

One is the numerous prayers that are lifted up on our behalf. We find such peace in knowing that our friends and family believe in the power of prayer and we know that the Father hears the pleas of his children on our behalf. In all honesty, at times, being reminded of the prayers so many offer for us is the blanket of peace we find ourselves desperately needing at times.

Another is to help with our financial needs. One way we've been trying to meet our financial needs is through selling Juice Plus+, a whole-food supplement that we've taken now for almost ten years. This truly is a great product that is fantastic for your health. What we like about this product is that not only does selling it help meet our financial needs but those that purchase it benefit tremendously by taking the product. If you've never heard of Juice Plus+ and you think you'd been interested in trying it, please click here where you'll find all kinds of great info. You can also contact us personally via email (Rleefletcher@Gmail.com) or phone (325.480.4477) as we'd love to tell you why this would be a good supplement for you and how it would truly help our ministry needs.

Where do I start....

2012-03-20T15:48:00.001-05:00

Well once again I am overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I need to fill you in on so BARE with me. I'm going to try and post a little today and it might be all over the place with a little back-tracking in between:)

Two weeks ago Maddox started his first year at San Jorge (the same school Sofia has been in) as a pre-schooler. He likes school but is not too keen on the early wake up time:) First day of school he didn't want any help going in and ran to his class (as you can see by the picture.)

Sofia started 2nd grade. Just saying that brings a tear to my eye. She just turned 7 this past week and I still think of her as being so little and 2nd grade is just so big!!! I mean it's just 7 years until high school! Ok, I'm getting ahead of myself. Sofia was a little apprehensive about going back to school but she is doing awesome and we are going to forge ahead.

Here are a few pictures to enjoy. Are they not just precious in their uniforms???

La Mano de Dios

2012-02-29T08:34:00.000-06:00

Our team is blessed to have an incredibly talented video maker in John Mark Davidson. Check out this video he recently made of our regular church service projects called the Mano de Dios. I think you will really enjoy it and you'll get a glimpse into the importance we place on living out the faith we claim.

A note to my wife: A thing or two I've learned

2012-02-22T18:27:00.000-06:00

Life is hard this side of heaven. I don't think it was made like this but that's certainly what its become.

But its still a great journey. We've got beautiful and spunky and sometimes obedient children, great families and a mighty-fine life to tackle together!

As good as it is its just so much more fun with you. You remind me to laugh. To be hopeful. To live.

I'm thankful to be on this road with you, Stephanie. You just make it so much better.

Love you lots...sweetheart.

Note to My Wife

2012-02-06T13:00:00.001-06:00

You should know....

I love you because:

your smile is beautiful and infectious.

you honor me (and our family) just by being you.

there's a glow about you that I just can't get enough of.

life is so much more fun with you.

Fear

2011-12-19T20:29:00.000-06:00

This morning Lee and I woke up in a panic as our bed shook from an earthquake. We RAN for the kids and when I got to the boys room, the shaking was going away. I stood there holding onto the doorway and a thought hit me "what in the world would I have done next?!?"
This little thought has haunted me since I moved to Lima. This is the 5th earthquake or what they call "tremor" that I have felt since being here. Last night was the strongest that I had felt and probably because it was the first one that was actually in Lima. It was only a 4.8 but that was enough to send a chill up my spine.
After waiting a little bit in fear of another one, I laid back in bed a little shaky. I was awake wondering why Lee and I don't have a specific plan of action, wondering what I would need to do in case of a worse tremor and lastly what would I do when there are two of us and 3 kids. That thought is one I try not to think about but unfortunently I think through things like this a little too often.

This morning I woke up at 5 to get ready to teach my bootcamp class and so much was going through my head. Why do I have so much fear?!? This past week a friend from back home was told told to take her almost 7 year old son home because there was nothing more the doctors could do. My thoughts have been with Matt, Amy, Mary and sweet Liam since I heard and I think about them throughout the day and especially when things are quiet. I can only imagine the agony of the waiting and the loss they are going to experience.
Another friend Marilyn Jobe is also nearing the end of her life here on earth. She has fought hard and though cancer has overtaken her body, her soul is ready to be in the place it has always longed to be.

The past few days have been filled with this fear of "God I'm not afraid of it happening to our family but I'm afraid I won't handle it as gracefully or with as much faith as these two families." I'm not saying I wait around for bad things to happen but I have to say I do verge on thinking that it COULD happen to us just like anyone else. We are not invincible.

I pray often for God to calm my fears. I don't sit around in fear all the time but I feel like it is a way that Satan uses to really bring doubt into my heart. I want to be a person that believes in heaven not just as a place that is WAY up there in the sky but somewhere that my heart longs to be and somewhere that I have NO fear of going.

I've always said I was going to keep this blog as real as possible and well here it is. Here is the missionary saying that I fear the unknown. I fear my character will fail me in a time of crisis. I fear getting a skype call that someone in our family is sick or gone and I will be stuck so far away. But what I fear most is standing in the face of sickness or death and not being able to feel/BE with God and not having the faith that I so desire.
Yes, this missionary needs some prayers HAHA! I mean really! What missionary DOESN'T need your prayers?!? If satan is going to attack let it be known that he WILL begin with the people who's full time job is to bring people into a relationship with God.

Well Satan... I have just blogged about this fear and about my lack of faith sometimes and you know what that means??? It's ALL out there! There is power is letting those words out and there is power in people praying for that fear to be GONE!

I am going to be sharing some things on the blog in 2012 that will hopefully keep me accountable in my walk, my journey as a missionary in Peru, my role as a wife and my life as a mom. I truly believe that as Christians there is SO much power in sharing our joys, our struggles and our lives with each other.

After this past week it is VERY evident that life sometimes is truly short. I want to live a life FULL in the Lord. I want to live a life that the only fear I do have is living too long:)

Lastly and most importantly I ask that you pray for our friends, Matt, Amy, Liam and Mary Lowe. I beg you to pray for their aching hearts as they face their time shortening with Liam. Please also be with Chuck and the family of Marilyn Jobe. When I started this post early this morning, I wasn't aware that she had just passed. She was a woman that I would describe as one of the most gracious, beautiful servants I've known. I know she was welcomed with open arms and I know she is rejoicing and probably seeing what all she can organize and help with up there:)

Stephanie

Morris Trip December 2011

2011-12-17T07:36:00.001-06:00

We just said goodbye to the Morris clan last night. We had 6 days with Ryan, Holly, Boston and Boone filled with fun and LOTS of activities!!! Here is a recap of what we did:
Breakfast buffet at Mango's
Crazy afternoon buying toys in an underground market in downtown Lima followed by a trip down an alley to the warehouse...no worries we have video:)
Pizza night with a "wrapping toy party"
Villa Maria Kids Church Christmas Party
Church with the Peruvian community
Beach day!
Bootcamp classes
Mani's and Pedi's
Inka market for souvenir shopping
Craziest school graduation party we have EVER been too! It was the class that Lee has been teaching English at for the past two years and it ended up being an evening full of surprises for all of us AND we ended being God-parents and didn't even know it!
Date night and massages
Building a temporary roof on Elvira's house
Sofia's end of school year party
LOTS of eating and our kids PLAYED and PLAYED!!!

Here is a link to a few pics from our week! We were so blessed by their visit and our friendship!
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2887107225531.2154112.1495687088&type=1

Picture A House Project!!!

2011-12-09T10:36:00.002-06:00

Hey Everyone! If you need an idea for a Christmas gift for someone (do we really need anything anyway???:) or who would like to give a gift in honor of... I have a GREAT idea-Picture A House.

We finally have all the info for you to send the money to. If you don't know about this project that Sofia is doing then click here & here. It will give you an idea of what she is doing. The short version is that Sofia decided that the kids in Villa Maria where we go work twice a week needed some new homes (in some cases just a first home.) She is taking actual pictures and then we are downloading them to our blog. You can choose your picture (which will be sent to your house) and then the child you choose will also get a picture for his family. These folks are in GREAT need. There is no basic water, plumbing or electricity. Our goal is to raise enough money to build something that will last and that some of the women can actually work from (cooking, laundry, sewing etc...).

If you would like to help with this project and give the gift of a home you can donate to:

The Crossing SA
C/O Pam Smith
113 Lilly Creek
Boerne, TX 78006

The Crossing Church & Pam Smith have partnered with Sofia to help track the money and the organization of this project. Thank you SO MUCH!!! Oh and that does mean that your donations are tax-deductible!!!

"The spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of site for the blind to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Luke 4:18-19

Just To Make You Smile Today!

2011-11-21T13:21:00.003-06:00

This little boy brings SO much joy to our family! Today I am so grateful for the way that he moves when music comes on. He is awesome!!!

The Boyz Are Growing Up!!!

2011-11-04T20:27:00.004-05:00

Just a few pictures to show off my boyz. They are getting SO big! Liam got a scooter from his grandparents and he LOVES riding around on it. Maddox just learned how to ride his bike without training wheels and he is doing awesome! The sun is finally shining in Lima (after about 6 months of overcast!) and we are loving going outside everyday and riding our bikes and scooters!!!

"Picture A House Project"- By Sofia Fletcher

2011-11-03T14:31:00.007-05:00

The side view of Elvira's house. This is the first house Sofia would like to rebuild

1. "Sunshine"

2."Fransisco"-Elvira's son

3."Fatima"-Elvira's daughter

4."Brown-Eyed Girl"

5. "Esperanza"

Maddox learning how to take pictures to get in on the action:)

6. "Friends"
7. "Sisters"

Sofia wanted to update everyone on her project. For those of you who don't know what she is doing, she has come up with a project to build homes in Villa Maria. She is going out and taking pictures of the faces that need a home. We will post them on the internet and people can buy them for a donation. When you purchase a picture 100% of the money will go in a fund to build a house. Each home will range between $500-$700. In addition the child whose picture you choose will also get a nice picture of himself (most children and their parents do not have pictures of themselves because they can't afford them.) Ok, now a word from Sofia:

"Here are a few pictures that my daddy and I took. The camera was really hard so my daddy had to help me a lot. If you have any questions you can ask my mommy:)"

She is brief and to the point when it comes to getting her to write things on the blog, haha. She is REALLY wanting to build the first house by Christmas! Lofty goal but I'm sure she can do it. She already has a group of girls in Midland who are running wild with the idea and got Sofia a website and there is LOTS of exciting stuff we hope to let you all know about soon!

Well... here are the first set of pictures. Like Sofia said her daddy had to help her quite a bit because the camera is not a automatic focus but she was doing great. Maddox is really getting into this project as well as is learning how to take pictures and can't wait to start nailing some walls together:)

If you are wanting to donate to the project let us know which picture you want and what size. Here is a list of the minimum donations to cover the cost of the picture and the shipping (it's being shipped from the US don't worry:)

1. 4x6= $5

2. 5x7= $8

If you want any larger prints please let us know.

Again, if you are interested in donating to "Picture a House" which Sofia is raising money by taking pictures pictures and selling them for donations, please contact us at:

stephanie.a.fletcher@gmail.com and let us know which picture you want and what size. We will let you know where to mail your check and you will receive your picture in the mail as well as an update letter once the first house is complete. Additionally the child's family (of the picture you choose) will also get a picture of their child (obviously there will be numerous that pick the same picture and we won't give them 18 of the same picture:)

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP AND WE HOPE TO HAVE THE FIRST HOUSE COMPLETED BY CHRISTMAS!!!! This could be a great way to get your kids involved the season of giving for the holidays!!! What would be better than giving someone a house!?!

Love,

Sofia and Fam

Machu Picchu-The Adventure of a Lifetime

2011-11-01T21:16:00.004-05:00

4 generations at Machu Pichhu

My Mama and Me

We had the tremendous blessing of having my mom (Patti Grigg) and my grandmother (Marie Shipp) come and visit a few weeks ago. The trip was an utter and complete whirlwind with Liam's birthday, me getting ready for my trip back (I flew out the same night they left) for surgery and getting to go to Machu Picchu!

When my mom and grandma mentioned the possibility of coming to visit us, my grandma said we should all go to Machu Pichhu-one of the seven wonders of the world. At first I thought she was out of her mind but then the more we talked about it the more it became a reality. For some reason there was something in me that REALLY thought it would be awesome to get to take my grandma, who has seen all but 2 (one of which was Machu Pichhu) wonders, there myself! Well....after about 4 weeks of planning (did I mention that I almost got to the point of HATING Machu Pichhu before I EVER got there because it was so freaking hard to PLAN!!!) and my grandma offering to pay for the majority of the trip, it was a done deal. Lee, myself, our 3 kiddos, my mom and my 84 year old Grandma were not looking back, it was DO or DIE. Ok, so I never thought the die part was going to be such a real thought, HAHA. No, not really.

So let me describe how we got there and PLEASE remember who all were traveling with here, use your imagination...
We took a plane to Cuzco, taxi to hotel, went out to eat that night but Grandma and Sofia were having some trouble with the altitude and we had to give them oxygen shots. Next morning we had to be out of the hotel by 5:45AM to catch a train, the van could not fit down the small alley to the hotel so we had to walk down to the van on an uneven cobble stone street while lugging our luggage, holding on to my grandma and all three kids IN THE RAIN. One word...circus. The train was a 3.5 hour trip to a small town called Aguas Calientes. We lugged our luggage and everyone down another road to our hotel cause oh wait... there were NO cars in this town, it's all by foot. This would be no problem if we were traveling alone but my grandma as tough and healthy as she is has a bad hip (more on that hip later...) and we didn't have a stroller for Liam. No worries, we made it work. We get to our hotel and find our little guide. He walks us to go buy tickets for the bus up to Machu Picchu (at this point it is 10am and I feel like I have been through an ENTIRE day already). We then all cram on the bus and head up to Machu Picchu, a 25 minute ride. We get there and have to walk quite a ways to get to the ruins.
When we get there I have to admit it was incredible. We walked around and listened to the guide and then my grandma sat in this little area where she could look out over the ruins while we trekked up with all 3 kids and my mom to the top of the ruins. I literally thought my arm was going to FALL OFF! Liam was in a backpack but his legs started falling asleep so Lee man-handled Maddox and Sofia so they wouldn't fall off the ruins while I carried Liam. This part was not that fun. The kids were like "where are the llamas??? We want to see some animals" Not sure they gave a flyin flip that they were in the midst of an amazing place. They were getting hungry, were super tired from getting up at 5:00AM and were just wanting to see a few animals! They were really excited though to get to say they had actually been to Machu Pichhu:) after it was all said and done.

So without every detail, that was our amazing adventure. This would not have happened if it wasn't for my grandma and we are so thankful. She is an amazing women and it was an absolute blast for me to travel with her. When we would complain or talk about something with a bad attitude she would just say "oh... were all gonna die anyway!" We would all just die laughing. She has the best one-liners EVER!!!! It was also SO sweet to watch my kids interact with her and get to spend so much time with her! They got to know her so well and I (or my kids) will never forget the awesome week spent with 4 generations (of missionaries for that matter, how cool!) Liam still asks for Gigi ALL the time!

When we got back we had a slight little mishap. My grandma fell down our stairs in our home. She cracked her head open on the corner of a door frame and I will NEVER forget that sound. While my mom held pressure on her head (did I mention she bled like a stuck pig?!?), Lee ran and got a taxi and Sofia called an intern to come over really quick to watch the kids. It all happened so fast but mom and I were in a taxi with grandma in about 4 minutes and off we were to the clinic. Did I mention my grandma is a complete HAUS! She stayed awake the whole time and did not panic at all. She let us take pictures of her on mom's phone and didn't stop with her one-liners. I was in the front seat trying not to throw up while the cabby was driving like a mad-man.
We got her in the ER and stitched up with a cat-scan within 20 minutes. We asked her numerous times if anything else was hurting and she said she was fine other than a large knot on her head....
Fast forward to 5 days after my surgery in San Antonio (a week ago.) We get a call that my grandma is being transported by ambulance because of severe pain in her hip. My heart sunk. All I could think about was that fall on our stairs. Come to find out that little lady HAD fractured her hip that day! It finally gave out on her after walking on it for almost two weeks and she was in excruciating pain. She had a partial hip replacement the next morning and today she is doing awesome. So.... the Peru adventure lives on. HAHA

Mom, Gigi- Thank you for an amazing trip that we will NEVER forget. It was so special for us to all get to do this together and it was worth every penny, every sweat drop, every hour of sleepless nights and every breath lost:) Love you ladies!

PS More pictures to come (internet is acting crazy)

Liam's Birthday

2011-10-30T13:00:00.010-05:00

Liam the last night as a 1 year old:(
Brothers

King for the day at his school for his birthday

Liam blowing out his candles (I know he looks a little special in this picture:)

His Mickey Mouse party table

Liam and Mama

Loved Maddox's face in this while all the kids by Liam are stuffing their faces

Mom (Nana) worked her magic again with the cake

The team kids watching a Mickey Mouse movie at the party

I'm catching up on the blog today so I will be posting about 80 posts today, haha.

October 5th Liam Pierce turned 2!!! I seriously cannot believe how BIG he is. Here are a few of his favorite things:

Ever since we went to Disney in July he has been OBSESSED with Mickey Mouse!

He only watches Mickey Mouse on tv or videos

He LOVES all kinds of animals, animal books and animal noises

He loves getting up early and going to Sofia's room to play with her while mommy sleeps in a little:)

He loves playing with Sally (our little Shitzu)
His favorite thing is to dance to music that is loud and has a good beat (I'm serious he will cry if the song is not upbeat and loud)
His favorite people are Meche (the lady who works in our home), Liz (our Aussi friend), Gaby (his Peruvian sister:) and our interns.

Fun Facts about Liam:
Liam is the tallest of our kids (at this age not in general, haha)
He is really starting to talk but is just a little behind on his speech but we love him anyway:) He talks though as if we understand every word!
He makes us laugh EVERY single day between his facial expressions and his dance moves!
He will sit and color on a blank piece of paper for at least 10 minutes in one setting, it's incredible! He will lay on his tummy and just get after it, he's an artist!
He calls every book a bible
He will not lay calmly in his bed until I have whispered in his ear that Jesus loves him and then go through all of our family members (been doing this with him since he was a baby so I guess he got used to it:)
He is still holding tight to his pacy and blanket but soon they are going BYE-BYE:)
He goes to school 3 days a week for 3 hours in the mornings and LOVES it!!! He's in the same school as Maddox and he loves his teachers, the crafts and every bit of it. It's been SUCH a blessing for us and building his language skills.

Well just wanted to let you all in on the life of our sweet Liam. We had such a fun birthday party for him. We had a Mickey Mouse party and the coolest thing was that my grandma and my mom were able to come down for the party!!! Lots of people came to love on Liam and he truly had a blast.

Can't to see what this year has in store with full sentences, potty training and lots of other fun stuff!