The Momii Diaries

Farewell Erica

2011-09-20T14:08:00.001+08:00

It breaks my heart to hear about Erica's death. I weep for her parents whom I know are shattered. Just when we thought Erica has been gifted with a second chance in life, she was all gone in a snap. I know that the life we live is borrowed. However, knowing this doesn't make it easier for us, parents, to come into the realization that our children might go before us.

I've met Erica once during a consultation with Dr. De Villa, the liver transplant doctor. She was lively and full of energy, nevertheless the strain of the transplant still evident. Up to this day, I can still remember how I felt upon seeing her. I felt relieved, joyful and proud that a 3 three year old can have so much courage to undergo a very dangerous procedure. At that time, the media were all focused on the great breakthrough of the Medical City Transplant team, it's no question that they did a wonderful job but credit should also be given to Erica's will to survive, her parent's pre-operative care (believe me, having them gain weight is so much easier said than done), and all other people who stood by to offer support and prayers.

I understand the struggles in raising a child with a liver malfunction. You can't feed them fat, their bodies won't absorb it. You can't bring them out to public places for fear of catching a virus. Simple colds develop into pneumonia in a span of 72 hours. Then there's portal hypertension, swollen livers, the list goes on. Even the transplant itself is not a guarantee that everything will be normal afterwards. There's no happily ever after. For all we know the transplant could just make the child's body even more fragile but we've got no choice. It's either try transplant and hope for the best that it works or helplessly wait for the time to run out. There are lucky patients who get to live a close to normal life. For some who are not so lucky, it's a string of hospitalizations, daily maintenance medications, and routine blood tests.

Even with all these on our plate, I can't imagine us (BA parents) giving up. After all, what we would not give to be with our kids for another day?

Weekend Recipe: Vietnamese Spring Rolls

2011-09-16T10:00:00.002+08:00

My mom has been craving for Pho Hoa for a while now. However, the restaurant we used to go to at SM closed so we have no means of getting a Pho Hoa. As I was surfing the net the other month, I came across a post by MaketManila on how to do a Vietnamese Spring Roll (see the post here ). The ingredients were relatively easy to find. Also, we started growing our own herbs so the recipe is a perfect in enjoying the "fruits of our labor." MM's recipe uses shrimps in his rolls, and that I think is what the vietnamese really put in their rolls. I used that the first time but mama suggested I use imitation crab meat for the next batch as the shrimps are too expensive. Personally, I like the second batch even though it's not an authentic version of the rolls.

So for our version of the Vietnamese Spring Rolls, here's what we used and did:

First, you would have to prepare all your stuffing as the slicing of carrots and cucumber can get a bit tedious. I'm not sure if you need to steam the mung beans but mama suggested that we do, so that's what we did along with the imititation crab meat. We also washed our herbs: coriander, mint, and basil leaves, then removed the leaves from the stem. We only used the leaves and discarded the stems. Oh! and before I forget, we also soaked the vermicelli noodles in boiling water for a few minutes (to soften them up).

It is best to assemble your ingredients in a tray so you don't forget anything when preparing the rolls.

Next, we got our rice paper. These are now readily available in the asian section of major groceries and supermarkets. They are hard to the touch but all you need to do is soak them in water for a few seconds and when they are pliable enough, they're ready to be used.

Rice Papers are readily available at the Asian section of major groceries and supermarkets.

Next, you spread the pliant wrapper on clean cloth or plate, lay out the stuffing (careful not to put too much as the wrapper might break during the rolling) then roll it making sure the sides are tight enough so the stuffing won't spill.

Serve with a mixture of hoisin sauce, peanut butter, chillies, and sesame oil, this would make a great healthy and light snack or lunch.

Have a happy weekend Momiis! :)

At mass today...

2011-09-11T20:26:00.000+08:00

At mass today, just before the holy communion, a lady a few pews before us launched into a monologue. At first, I thought, our parish gained a female version of Carlos Celdran. After getting over my initial shock, curiosity (read :chismis genes) instantly kicked plus we're a good 10 feet away from her so we couldn't help but hear her speech. We (people within 10 feet) were not sure on how to react so we ignored her but her oration was growing louder by the minute. It didn't help too that when someone tried to stop her, she got even more louder. I got scared that she might turn violent. I sang louder to drown out her voice but silently I was calculating how much she weighed and my chances of winning against her should my children be harmed-- accidental or not. Thankfully and slightly disappointingly, nothing sort of news breaking happened within the next ten minutes. She was just escorted by two guards after she took the hostia and "shhhh" warning from the celebrating priest.

Funny how the homily was about letting go of anger and practicing forgiveness then a very angry person launches into a monologue just when the mass is about to end.

On a happier scenario, I joined the signature campaign with the advocacy of stopping Palawan's illegal mining. I think we could all agree that Palawan is one of our most beautiful islands here in the country and not only would mining deplete and destroy our environment, it would also cause great harm to the residents within the mining vicinity. I feel happy I got to join this advocacy. If you too would like to lend us your signature, please feel free to visit this site http://no2mininginpalawan.com/

It's another hectic Monday for us all tomorrow and many are going to be grumpy so I'd like to leave you with something to think about as you wake up in the morning tomorrow :

“More powerful than the will to win is the courage to begin.” -- Author Unknown

My Reading List for September

2011-09-08T11:08:00.001+08:00

My love affair with books started when I was in Elementary. We were tasked to make weekly book reviews in our English class and so the habit of reading grew on me. Growing up, my closest friends were Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield of the Sweet Valley series ( a new book titled, Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later, was released this year. It follows the lives of the main SW characters as adults.). I tried The Babysitters Club and The Nancy Drew Series and even if they were equally compelling, I always went back to Sweet Valley.

I have long moved on from my Sweet Valley days but my love affair with books haven't diminished at all. I'm sharing my reading list as well as a little preview of each book. I'll be reviewing these books too but that would be in another post.

The first book in my list is Chelsea Handler's Are You There Vodka? It's me Chelsea. I am half way through this book and I find it sure as hell funny. This book is composed of essays, mostly autobiographical, but they are written in such a funny manner you'd think you're reading something out of a comedy.

Second on my list is The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Set in the 1960's, this book is about a young American woman, two African-American maids, and their struggle to expose racism.

This is actually Ms. Stockett's first novel to be published and it took her five long years to do so. It's all worth the wait though as USA Today article called it one of 2009's "summer sleeper hits" and The New York Times takes in Stockett's "affection and intimacy buried beneath even the most seemingly impersonal household connections" additionally they say the book is a "button-pushing, soon to be wildly popular novel".

True enough, the book has been published in over 35 countries in 3 different languages and has sold over 5 million copies. A certified New York Times Best Seller, the book now has a fil adaption starring Emma Stone, Viola Davis, and Octavia Spencer among others. Here's a sneak peek of the movie

Last but not the least is Samantha Sotto's Before Ever After. Description says it's a "A modern fairy tale about true love, happy endings, new beginnings, and everything in between" ( I know, I'm a sucker for fairy tales too! I think this is one of those things us girls don't grow out on). Reviews are stellar. Take this for example:

From Adena Halpern, author of The Ten Best Days of My Life:
“A smartly written romance, mystery and historical adventure all wrapped up in a page-turner that will have you guessing until the very end. I could not stop thinking about it.”

And if you're still not convinced on getting your copy, watch this teaser

See? I told ya, I can't wait to start reading my copy (I'll be posting reviews soon).

So, there you go, my three book picks for this month. I hope you liked them. Oh by the way, if you have read them before, please let us know if you found them amusing, entertaining, enlightening, or perhaps boring?

Bombshell Wednesday: Coco Manila

2011-09-07T08:35:00.001+08:00

I chanced upon a soap store in Camp John Hay on our recent trip to Baguio. From afar, I wasn't sure what the store's products are but upon getting closer, I saw different kinds of soap and other beauty products like body scrubs, hand sanitizers, lip balms and lotions. The store sort of reminds me of Lush.

Coco Manila's soaps are made of virgin coconut oil, thus the word "coco" in their name. Different variants of soaps are available like : Choco peppermint , creme brulee , miners charcoal, carrot lavender , and a lot more.

In a time where skin whitening is a mantra to almost every other woman, the best whitening soap and cream seem to be a certainty in our beauty must haves. With that being said, I knew I just had to try the Coco Manila's Miner's Charcoal Soap. The sales lady told me this variant which is made of all natural ingredients is their best seller as it is proven to lighten your skin.

Upon use of the soap, I immediately liked the citrusy smell it leaves on your skin after bath. The texture is a little rough when you lather it up, which might not be a good for those with sensitive skin. The soap leaves your skin with a clean feel if not a little dry ( I prefer this though because I use lotion after bath, and too much moisture on makes my skin feel sticky after applying the lotion).

I've been using the soap I bought for over a week now. I haven't noticed if my skin looks fairer but it sure feels smoother, not like a baby's --but close enough. I'll be posting updates again after a few weeks and we'll see if this whitening soap deserves a spot in our beauty must haves arsenal.

For now, their products are available only in their Baguio store near the filling station inside Camp John Hay but the saleslady kindly offered to ship orders of their products. By the way, the soaps cost approximately Php 1.20/gram, mine was Php 120 for a 100-gram bar.

Mischa's correspondence with Ninang Ams

2011-09-05T11:39:00.004+08:00

From Mischa:

Dear Ninang Ams,

Thank you for the book. Mommy is very pleased that you gave me a book. She's intent on keeping me a nerd so I won't ever have a boyfriend before I get a driver's license (which she says would be when I turn 21). I love love love the moving objects in te book. I pray that my kuya and ate spare this from a brutal abuse. Again, thank you especially because you made it to my birthday even if you hate going to parties with more than 3 people in it.

Love,

Mischa

Here's her Ninang Ams' reply:

Dear Mischa,

I think your lola and mommy's genes can successfully offset your nerdiness. The boys will still come knocking before you're 21-- even with your book stuck in a book. Thank God your father has guns. I'll try to go to all your parties. Just keep them at a minimum okay?

Love,

Ninang Ams

This is just one of the reasons why I love my three kids' godparents-- BEST IN PARTICIPATION SILA! :)

P.S.

I love how Ninang Ams always always makes personalized notes for the kids whenever she gives gifts.

Random Conversations : School Drop Outs

2011-08-27T10:57:00.000+08:00

While surfing for interesting evening programs, papa came across the news about Steve Job's resignation as Apple's CEO...

Papa: Alam mo mommy yang si Steve Jobs, andami palang sakit. Na-kidney transplant nga yan nung 2009.
Me: Ahhh...
Papa: Yang mga yan, drop out naman sa school eh.. sila nila Bill Gates. Pati ata yung sa facebook na yan drop out din.
Me: Ahhh...
Papa: Kayayaman na ng mga yan, kahit drop out.
Me: Ahhh.. so ibig mo bang sabihin ok lang satin pag nag drop out sila Kyle at Sophia sa school?
Papa: Hinde ah! ibibitin ko yang mga yan pag di inayos ang pagaaral niyan.

The 10 Most Annoying Alarm Clocks

2011-08-23T06:00:00.001+08:00

Good Morning! A friend of mine sent me an e-mail yesterday and I was just so relieved I didn't have these alarm clocks on my bedside table. Read on and do tell, if you have any of these...

#10 - Climbing clock . It hangs above your head and starts climbing while it rings. Don't wake up fast enough, and you won't be able to shut it up without a ladder.

# 9 Wake Up Puzzle You have to build the puzzle to make it stop.

# 8 Wake or Curse . You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.

# 7 High Tech This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.

# 6 Find The Pin - You need find the right pin to stop it's ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.

# 5 Chicken and Egg Problem - The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.

# 4 GI Joe . You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.

# 3 Floating Around - Will float around the room until you'll catch it.

# 2 Kaboom - This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.

# 1 Hide and Seek - The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.

So, you see? That goddam alarm clock you just can't stop throwing on your wall might not be so bad after all. :)

Comfort Mondays : Ritter Sport

2011-08-22T06:00:00.001+08:00

Mondays are extremely tedious for me and for some people I know. You wake up early to prepare for work or school and activities just drag on during the day while your mind unashamedly longs for the next weekend ahead.

Sometimes, Mondays can be downright depressing that you just can't help but scowl at every person you see. Good thing, there are a lot of comforting stuffs that can cheer us up when those dreadful days come. This is why, I'm starting a "Comfort Mondays " part in my blog. Every Monday, I would be sharing one or two things in which I find comfort with. This, I hope, could somehow give us a kick start for the week.

Okay, so first stop : Ritter Sport.

Ritter Sport is a german chocolate brand that is distributed around the world. It is readily available in large supermarkets here in the Philippines. I got mine at around 80-90 php at SM Hypermarket. Each 100-gram square-shaped bar is divided into 16 smaller squares, creating four by four patterns.

The packaging is resealable so you don't have to finish a bar in one sitting (This, I could never do, Ritter Sport and Maltesers are things I just cannot stop eating!).

The taste? Comfortingly delicious. It comes in over 20 varieties so you'd surely find one to lighten up your mood on that dreadful dreadful Monday morning. If your feeling guilty about starting your week with sweets, just think that you are saving Mother Earth with every bite that you eat because Alfred Ritter GmbH & Co. KG, manufacturers of Ritter Sport, are committed to the protection of the environment.

At RITTER SPORT, the protection of the environment has been of great importance for many years – as this quotation from our 1991 Company Mission shows. We are convinced that timely investments in this area pay off in the long term and we continue to work on improving production methods, products, packaging and logistics. As part of our continuous emission-reduction efforts, we pursue energy-saving measures as new investments, when these do not generate costs that are 10% higher than traditional methods. In isolated cases, however, our investments clearly exceed this threshold. In 1996 we were the first company in the sweets industry to organise environmental protection at a company level, within the framework of a comprehensive management system.

So, you see? That small square of Ritter Sport might just give you the smile you needed today. Plus, you are helping Mother earth.

Don't be shy and give me a bite :)

Picnic

2011-08-21T12:15:00.000+08:00

Our friends from Manila are visiting this weekend and the sun was out today so what better way to spend the afternoon than to go to the park?

Mischa (left) and Bubbles (right) surely are enjoying the afternoon sun.

Getting cozy aren't we?

Going UP!

... and playing catch!

Oh yes, they never get tired...

Here are my two girls sampling the grass.

Here's the gang posing for a photo (Dianne is behind the lens)

We say goodbye as the sun sets behind us. Lovely day.

Photo taken at:

Picnic Grounds

Clark Special Economic Zone

Pobo!

2011-08-21T12:14:00.000+08:00

Don't you just love it when kids are trying to act like grownups? Here's an aftermath of Sophia's attempt at being Little Miss Independent. She wanted to practice grooming by herself. Grooming it is! :)

Are you a morning person?

2011-08-18T12:10:00.000+08:00

Is getting up in the morning such a chore for you? Do you feel like crying whenever you hear that incessant sound of your alarm clock? And lastly, do you feel like giving every person, who smiles at you, an extra mind blowing kick to their nether area?

I know... I can totally understand how you feel, you see, I have the same thoughts everyday. I mean, who aside from Barack Obama is happy to get up when your bed is so warm, and cozy, and comfy (insert dreamy smile here)? The first few minutes before caffeine has yet to kick in within my system is critical--- YOU ABSOLUTELY DON'T WANT TO PISS ME OFF AT THIS TIME.

The good news is, we are not alone. There must be at least 20 different pages and groups about "I hate waking/ getting up in the morning" on Facebook with likes varying from 12 to 76, 166. If you still feel bad about getting up today leaving that lovely man in your dreams, just imagine how my kids felt this morning...

At 5:00 am, Snow White's dwarf, Grumpy, doesn't stand a chance with Kyle.

Sophia cries at 5:30 because she can't find me in bed, so I'll pick her up then she'll sleep again.

At 6:30, Mischa gets up and she might just be feeling quite happy about getting out of the room. Sophia at around this time, is still sleeping (green with envy)....

She won't wake up for yet another hour...

At what age do you let your kids handle money?

2011-08-17T06:39:00.001+08:00

The entire time Kyle was in CASA level (pre-school), he has not brought money to school and since, I do grocery shopping at least once a week, there really is no need for them to buy in the local sari-sari store. So generally speaking, you could count the times that Kyle has held money in the last 6 years. This he didn't mind, until recently.

Around a month ago, Kyle went home crying because his "kuya", the school bus monitor, didn't want to give him money to buy Kimmy Crazy Bananas. I explained to him that kuya can't give him money all the time because he doesn't earn that much. He conceded but for days after that, he pestered me to give him twenty pesos everyday. I agreed to that but on the first week that I gave him money, he lost what I gave him-- twice!

I shouldn't have been surprised since he has had the habit of losing the money his other tita and lolo, and lolas have given him. I mean, he has yet to develop the idea of being responsible for his things, money included. The earlier incident made me decide to hold off giving money for the mean time. However, this decision brought on another problem-- him, asking money from his classmates!

I learned about this 2 days ago when he told me the ice cream he bought was only worth ten pesos. I was surprised to hear this when I don't remember giving him money that morning. When I asked endless questions to get to the bottom of the incident, I found out his classmate supposedly "gave him" money so he could buy. I know, it's so kind and sweet of his classmate to give him money but I don't want him to learn how to beg! I wanted him to learn how to be responsible of his things... and I feel embarrassed at the thought that another 6 year old is giving my 6 year old money!

Now, I don't know what to do! How do I teach Kyle to be responsible about money when he's in school and I'm at home the whole time he's bringing money? Is 6 years old too early to handle money? How old were you or your kids when you first began to be entrusted with money?

Happy 1st Birthday Mischa!

2011-08-16T15:46:00.000+08:00

Less than three weeks from now and our "bunso" will be celebrating her birthday party. We are all very excited for that. However, for me, celebrating her birthday this year holds a deeper meaning as we have fought hard the past year for her health.

Mischa is a diagnosed case of Billiary Atresia. She underwent the Kasai procedure when she was two months old but that might not be enough as the doctors told us early on that Kasai procedure is only a temporary measure and that we would have to undergo a liver transplant as soon as signs of Mischa's liver deterioration occurs.

We were told to prepare for transplant at around one year old. Thankfully, her progressive health gives us hope that we can delay the transplant indefinitely.

She is now turning one year old this September and we can never be grateful enough for each and everyday that we see her laugh, play, and throw horrifying tantrums!

Please let the classes begin--- soon!

2011-05-30T19:11:00.000+08:00

The problem with the kids being on a vacation (overly extended in my opinion) is that the house is ALWAYS IN CHAOS. Don't get what I mean? Well for one, Kyle wakes up at an ungodly hour of 5:30 and switches on the TV that of course wakes up Sophia who turns to the other room to conveniently wake up Mischa. With that of course, you've got no other choice but to silently cry over the 30 more minutes of sleep you just lost.

It doesn't end there of course.

Come breakfast time, Kyle and Sophia's spirits have magically gone up like they've been munching on sugar the whole eight hours of their sleep. This poses another problem because without a very good distraction, they turn against each other and BOX! My first instinct is to stop them but having just woken up and without the caffeine coursing through my system, all I can do is stare at them.

Feeding them is another matter. One hovers over the PSP in between bites and the other playing and picking on the food on the table. The next twenty minutes are then filled with threats (you can't play if you don't finish your food), promises (you can watch until 8pm tonight if you finish your food), and imaginary creations ( the frog told me to tell you to say ahhhhh).

Now, the time in between meals and naps are absolutely the hardest. Sophia screams every five minutes because Kyle gets her toys. Kyle on the other hand, complains every five minutes because Sophia boxes him.

I dread for what's about to happen whenever they stay together for longer than five minutes without actually fighting because once they have bolted in, CATASTROPHE happens. This generally means powder scattered all over the room, chocolate milk spilled on the floor, books and crayons facing their final hour, and toys unceremoniously thrown everywhere.

As I'm writing this blog, Kyle is sitting in the corner as his punishment for boxing Sophia's left ear because she was on the way and didn't want to turn on the TV. It doesn't seem to be working though because Sophia, having finished howling, joined her kuya and they have once again started laughing and playing like they haven't just boxed each other.

These are my two little rascals. They drain you, they frustrate you and they make you want to pull your hairs out but when I watch them I see two creative, inventive and independent kids with good hearts. Thank God, Mischa's got a few more years before she turns into a little rascal herself. :)

The Return of the Giant Mangoes

2011-05-11T10:44:00.000+08:00

The giant mangoes are back with a vengeance! They are bigger, heavier and yummier this year! :) At first look, you might mistake them for large avocados but taking a closer look, you'll see that they are really just humongous mangoes. To give you an idea of how big they are, I'll be posting a few more photos.

EXHIBIT A: They are bigger than my kid's faces. They are also quite heavy that the kids couldn't carry them for an extended length of time. Thus, the pictures were taken while they are sitting.

EXHIBIT B: Look how one mango was almost double the size of Mischa's face!

Now, you might wonder about the taste. 3-4 days shy of being ripe, these mangoes are delicious to eat as green because they are not sour. Eating it with sauteed shrimp paste, these are perfect side dish for grilled fish or pork.

The flesh is bright yellow in color once it is ripe. It is very very sweet and it lacks fiber, making it a perfect dessert after a sumptuous meal.

EXHIBIT C: Peeled mango that's just about ripe. Notice how it almost fills up the whole plate.

At this stage, the mango is still quite firm but I can assure you it is extremely sweet.

EXHIBIT D: Proof of it's sweetness? Mischa thoroughly enjoyed her slice of mango.

Papa told me, these mangoes are the queen variety. From there I "googled" them and here's what I found from this website:

Common Name: Golden Queen MangoBotanical Name: Mangifera IndicaFamily: AnacardiaceaeOrigin: TaiwanPlant Size: LargeVarieties: Golden Queen or Jin-huang MangoSeason: April-June

Description:The Jinhuang mango was fostered by Mr. Huang Jin-huang of nearby Liouguei and is known as the "King of Mangoes". The big fruit is papaya-shaped and weighs about 1.2 kilograms, has a thin pit, fragrant taste, high degree of sweetness and lacks fiber, making it one of the most popular fruits. The season for Jinhuang mango is May to August; during this period the quality of is the best. One should choose the fruit with orange to yellow-green color. Fruit farmers will pick the harvest in advance when they are close to mature, and accelerate the ripening after selling in the market. Taoyuan Township promotes more refined agricultural skills, and every year will hold a competition with an evaluation of Jinhuang mangoes, including color, weight, sweetness, etc. Visitors should choose the Jinhuang mango, and Taoyuan Township is the best choice for quality!

According to this blog, you can actually purchase these mangoes from Mr. Eulogio Mallari of Dinalupihan, Bataan (His fruit nursery is beside the municipal hall of Dinalupihan) Contact no: 0918-9344789. We have not tried buying from him though so you might want to call him first to inquire. :)

I'm trying not to be cheesy but it's for you mom

2011-05-08T10:33:00.000+08:00

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It's funny how my feelings towards mom has evolved through out the years. As a little girl, I have always leaned on my mom for almost everything. Teenage years were more than a handful for mom as I've tried to rebel and get away from her as much as I could. Now, as a mom myself, I have come to understand some parts of my mom's inner workings.

Funny how when I was a little girl I was the parasite the lived through my mom and never having any idea on how to live by myself. I'd ask my mom this and that and everything in between. As I grew into puberty, I have always thought that mom won't be cool enough to be seen with me. That didn't stop her from tagging alone though as people would always see us together all the time!

Coming out of my darkest moments was hard but not hard enough because just when I was about to crumble, my mom stood behind me until I was ready to get up again and fight.

My mom and I have gone through a lot and from that, we have build our relationship into something that stands the test of time. There are things that doesn't change though. We would always gossip over coffee in the morning (God knows what we talk about!), fight and not talk to each other for days on end, never be touchy touchy (we don't hug and we don't kiss) with each other, and I'd always be that little girl who'd run to you for comfort.

Truth is, I am a little embarrassed to post this today (blush) and I know I'd suffer from teasing all day as soon as you this post. But it's for you, mom. And even if we don't say this that often,

I love you and Happy Mother's day.

Follow through

2011-05-07T14:29:00.000+08:00

Three days ago, I asked Kyle to take his afternoon nap. Being the five year old that he is, he didn't do what I asked him to do. For two hours, we engaged in a power struggle-- him trying his damnest to be free from the very difficult task of sleeping and me trying to convince him otherwise. I was even surprised when he threw this verbal punch at me "If papa was here, I won't be even sleeping he would let me play." Having heard that, I thought "Oh yeah? but you see papa is not here." Trying to act bigger, I bit my tongue and refrained from saying that out loud. I gave him an ultimatum instead that if he doesn't take a nap that day, he won't have his Xbox and PSP privileges for three days. Perhaps he thought I wasn't serious about it or maybe he thought I'd get distracted and he'd still have those privileges, he agreed.

That day, he didn't take his afternoon nap.

Yesterday, extreme boredom made him miss his toys so much that he mightily tried to trick me into letting him play with his toys. If I remembered correctly this is how the conversation went:

KYLE: Mom, can I play with my PSP?
ME: No
KYLE: How about the Xbox?
ME: No
KYLE: When can I play with my PSP and XBOX?
ME: On Sunday. Didn't we agree that if you don't take afternoon naps, you'll lose your Xbox and PSP privileges?
KYLE: Oh ok (sad face). So when can I play?
ME: Sunday.
KYLE: What day is it today?
ME: Friday.

-- after 30 minutes he came back saying:

KYLE: Mom can I play with my toys now?
ME: No.
KYLE: But you just said I can play on Friday. It's now Friday.
ME: No, I said you can play on Sunday. It is only Friday.

Thinking about it now brings me different kinds of realisations. One, that Kyle is too smart for his own good and two, follow through is just as important in disciplining kids. Kyle not taking me seriously the first time I enforced our ultimatum might not be entirely baseless. After all, there have been times when he has gotten away because I, myself, didn't take the matter at hand seriously.

The thing is, when we impose rules and punishments on our kids, we also impose these on ourselves because it is up to us to make sure that they are followed. Disciplining doesn't stop with just handing out the guidelines. It has to be followed through.

P.S.

I think it has become clear to Kyle that I meant business. Look at him now, dreaming about his PSP and Xbox, perhaps?

Mother's day recollections

2011-05-06T13:45:00.000+08:00

It offends me sometimes when people judge me when I tell them I stay at home to take care of my kids. A few years back I would have judge another mom who chose to do what I do today. After all, my plan was to start a career and be quite successful in it.

It's true. I wasn't in love with the idea of being full time stay at home mom. I never expected for it to grow on me though. No, there were no climactic moments that made me turn 180 degrees and fall in love with motherhood in an instant. Fact is, motherhood and I had a long and slow courtship and it took more than a few highlights before I fell deeply into it. Mostly what earned my favor towards motherhood were the little things like my constant conversations with Kyle (believe me they can go on for days), seeing my Sophia explore (it often makes me wonder what she's thinking) and hear Mischa shriek with glee!

Sometimes, I wonder what it would have been like if I was pursuing a career instead. Would I have felt better about myself? Would I have been happier? And when I'm in the brink of thinking yes to these questions, I see my kids--I witness their laugh, their cry, their tantrums... their life. This alone can do wonders and melt my doubts away.

Some moms work and I know of some who are actually better parents because they pursue a career. Some parents give up on work to focus on the children. I'm not saying that one is better than the other because at the end of the day, what truly matters is that we raised good hearted and compassionate citizens.

First wedding of the group

2011-02-25T22:44:00.001+08:00

I have to admit I was quite hesitant to attend Keijei and Ronald's wedding. Not only was there an appointment with the transplant doctor but more bothering for me was that I haven't lost weight yet and I didn't want to show up like a an overweight mom of three. I did come though because as my friend Amelie has said, it's the first wedding of the class and how many times would Keijei get married? It's the last I could do to show my support.

I am glad I came even if I'm late. I've never seen Keijei so happy. She was positively glowing and it's evident how inlove they are.

Ofcourse having my other friends with me made the reception so much more fun. I wish our other friends were there too.

I think I know whose to wed next... but I do wonder? hmmm...

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The Day Off

2010-12-12T10:33:00.000+08:00

It's Mischa's last day of antibiotics today and I'm feeling a little generous to myself. This is why I have decided to indulge myself and I am holding nothing back. I have resolved to FEEL GOOD today despite Kyle's constant badgering. So I put Bruno Mar's "Just the Way You Are" on loudspeaker as I step on the bathroom. I lathered on my facial scrub, body scrub, liquid soap, and bath & body oil never minding that I'd smell like a fruit salad on summer afternoon. I put on my old and ratty and very comfortable clothes; resisted to put on socks (it warms my cold feet); and I get ready to read that book I've been eyeing for days. I have no plans of going out today but that doesn't mean I can't put on a little make-up. So, I toned and moisturized and dolled myself with a little powder and gloss. I feel beautiful and it brings about a warm feeling within me.

Tomorrow, I get back to errands, medicines, bills, and groceries. I will be more than ready for that because today I lay low and enjoy the simple things. IT IS A GOOD DAY and IT WILL STAY THAT WAY. :)

Murphy's Law

2010-12-09T15:30:00.000+08:00

Three sick kids and two hospitalizations in a month can really stretch your will power to the limit. I haven't slept since I can't remember when, been too worried that I started pigging out again (well, that's actually not the only reason), and I've encountered too many doctors this month for my liking ( don't get me wrong, I have nothing against doctors). I have been too stressed that I had my period three times in a month!

You would think that now that the kids are all at home, it is back to normal. But no, that is far from the truth. Groceries are dwindling, bills are coming, and appointments after appointments are to be set up. Where did my old boring life go? I AM LOSING CONTROL and I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET BACK ON TOP OF THINGS. I am physically tired, emotionally exhausted, and mentally harassed. I am not complaining (well, maybe a little) and I am aware that I am ranting my brains out. I just need some sleep. 24 hours of sleep. Or maybe 12... Even 6 goddamn hours is fine by me. I. JUST. WANT. TO. SLEEP.

Realizations

2010-12-02T17:27:00.000+08:00

When I first learned of Mischa's condition, my heart took consolation on the thought that we were given Mischa because God knew we were capable of loving her more than we thought possible. In my mind, it is a given fact that I will be the donor, should we push through with the liver transplant.

It goes beyond that though. I realized that I need Mischa more than she needs me. If we were not in this situation, I wouldn't have valued health as much as I do now. If my Mischa wasn't sick, I wouldn't have known who would have really stood by me through this hurdle. And if it weren't for my Mischa, I would have stayed obnoxious thinking that I can survive with as little help from other people.

Yes, I need my Mischa. If only to remind that there are a lot of good people, supportive friends, and loving family around me, I need her more than I have ever known.

Hospital Gossip

2010-12-02T10:32:00.000+08:00

You can't stay in a hospital for more than two weeks and not notice something. Like for example, in my mind I have conjured a hierarchy of hospital doctors. I figured the interns are the mini slaves of the residents. The residents, who are a little too obnoxious for my taste fall below the fellows. The fellows are like the personal assistants of the "real" doctors or the attending doctors, as some other people put it.

I pity the mini-slaves the most. They don't sleep through the night only to hold bandages, tapes, and occasionally, my daughter's legs (if they're lucky and I'm feeling generous to let them).

There are two sets of residents who visit my daughter. We have the pedia residents, who, I think, toss coins before they come to our room. It seems like my daughter's reputation of being "difficult" during IV line insertions preceded her that they developed a strong aversion to that task. The unfortunate ones are Dr. Sweet-and-pretty-face. She tries to be gentle to my daughter but in her unlucky days she wastes an average of 5 syringes before she could get a good line. The nurse and I often gossip abut her engagement ring and her fiance who happened to be another resident. Then there is Dr. Hayden-Kho-Look-alike. It's given that he's good looking and I heard he's got connections too. Someone from his family is a premier doctor in the hospital, if I'm not mistaken. He's a real pain in the a** though! He bickers at the nurses and he's grumpy 95% of the time. I only saw him soften up one time. Someone called from his cellphone (his girlfriend, I think) and he was trying to be really quiet but I heard him nonetheless when he said "I love you" to the other person.

The other set of residents are from the surgery department. They are like a pack of wolves attacking our room at the ungodly hour of 6 am! It would have been alright but they would always come when we have just slept or when I'm having a really good dream and I'd wake up to the sight of them all staring at me and my daughter. The "leader" of the pack always talks to me and I have grown a slight crush on him even if we all talk about is poop, and poop, and even more poop. I swear, if we get to talk about pee I'd definitely fall head over heels in him!

Now, we have another 2 sets of fellows. Fellows from our Pedia-gastro and fellows from the neo-natal care. We had to take on a Neo-natal care doctor too because Mischa's been having episodes of high fever and melena. Anyway, I like the fellow from the neo-natal care unit. They are so gentle and they seem to really like my daughter. I also had some chats with one fellow about some books, apparently we read similar books (and I wonder how she ever got the time to do that! Amazing, right?). On the other hand, I am not so pleased with our Pedia-gastro's fellows. One is Chinese (I have to be clear that I have nothing against the Chinese) and he's so emotionally detached that I feel like he sees my daughter as merely a case. Apart from that, his Chinese accent is so heavy I can only stare at him and understand 20% of what he said. The other fellow, Dr. Little-Ms.Bubbly, is that--Too bubbly! She's so chirpy and cheerful even during the surgery and especially when she was confirming that our daughter has Biliary Atresia that I had to really restrain myself from smacking her and possibly hurting her. I've gone used to it though so I guess her over-cheerfulness is alright.

The attending doctors are very kind and I cannot stress that enough. Our Pedia-Gastro visits Mischa even at midnight and I am not complaining. When Mischa's blood work-ups were very bad, she lead a prayer for our little girl and I couldn't help but cry. I have been doing well preventing myself from crying-- until then. I guess, her compassion for our baby was just so overwhelming for me. The attending Pediatrician from Neo-natal care is very sweet, and mellow, and she dresses nice too! I guess I could learn a thing or two from her. She dresses casually, boho chic actually, and she smiles a lot and she talks so softly, I couldn't ever imagine her getting angry. Lastly, the pedia-surgeon, he's an average height but thin man who reminds me a little of Mandark, Dexter's arch-nemesis in Dexter's Lab. He visits everyday, which I greatly appreciate and I think he's a little too pleased with himself. I can't blame him though, the Kasai seems successful and I won't contradict him even if he says he's the most good looking pedia-surgeon (which I don't completely agree).

When I'm not thinking too much about the infections, and the antibiotics, and the IV lines I enjoy watching these characters play. They are like a bunch of misfits, each unique in his or her own way, but together they fit like a puzzle to form a picture that is my Mischa's recovery.

P.S.
Mischa and I were singing and dancing before she finally fell asleep. It seems like she enjoys my singing (thank God!) and she likes dancing (Just like her Ate Sophia).

Mischa Smiles

2010-11-30T11:44:00.000+08:00

We were about to sleep last night when I noticed Mischa watching me. She was looking at me intently as I looked at her. Her big brown eyes seems to tell me something I can't tell for sure. I smiled at her and told her "I love you." She smiled back and murmured something I didn't understand.

All through the night, I caught her smiling all by herself and I thought to myself: Someone must be talking to my Mischa other than me. Could it be her angel?