Everything You Need to Know . . .

Farewell . . . for now

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 13:08:00 +0000

I've been really lax about posting & just haven't been able to give this site the attention it deserves. As such, I've decided to end Ask Steph. I'm sure in the future the unsolicited opinions will build up inside of me, demanding a release in the form of some other blog. Until then, I bid you all farewell & happy blogging!

Check Out the New Chick!

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 14:05:00 +0000

I know, I know, I'm the most unreliable blogger ever. Sorry to everyone, especially Ashly. Thank you so much for introducing yourself.

Ashly rocks, you guys will love her. Welcome, Ashly.

This post was pure trash and cabaret

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 21:21:00 +0000

So, last night I proved once again that I am a sucker for train-wreck syndrome and tuned into the latest American Idol audition special. As per usual, the show mostly focused on showing the people who were so terrible that you have to wonder why they would try out for this show. Because no one can be that bad without knowing it in some way.

But what amazed me the most was when a young woman who was in school for opera tried out. In her pre-audition interview she talked about how she would probably lose her scholarship if her school found out she was skipping to audition for A.I., but that she didn’t care, she was taking this chance.

Her audition was, honestly, so-so. She sang two different pop pieces before Randy asked her to sing some opera for them. She begins belting out an opera piece looking far more confident than she did with either of her previous pieces. When she had finished, Simon looks at her and says, “You’ve shown us three different voices, who do you want to be?”

She stutters out “The next American Idol…”

Simon, showing some semblance of humanity, says, “I’m not criticizing you. I’m just saying, you sang three different songs in three different voices. Which of those three people do you want to be? Who are you?”

The girl says, somewhat shyly “I’m a singer and a songwriter…” and then, suddenly, she gets this much bolder look in her eyes and says with emphasis “…and a rock star.”

I never thought I would see the day when Simon Cowell would, so offhandedly, make such a poignant statement.

The number of people that come through those auditions and say “I’m going to win because I’m unique,” while dressed up in some ridiculous costume or playing some ridiculous character (and I know that’s what a lot of them have to be doing. A.I. has become two contests, the drawn out one to find the next Kelly Clarkson, and the short audition round one to find the next William Hung. If you can’t sing it doesn’t matter, you can still attain something not totally unlike fame. And you know what? Considering how much of a joke I think a lot of American Idol is, I don’t totally see an issue with that) is overwhelming. But the number of people who can honestly come in and say, “This is who I am,” and believe it, mean it, and be able to back it up? Is very, very small.

I guess that’s just generally how I feel about humanity, though. People talk about how hard it is to be an individual. This is sort of true, but what’s even harder is actually knowing who you are and being yourself. Dressing, acting, writing, dancing, or even just speaking “uniquely” can achieve being an individual, but if you’re not being yourself what’s the point? Honestly, I think it’s harder to be honest with yourself as to who you are and what you want in life than it is to simply be an individual.

So Simon Cowell actually asked the most difficult question in the world last night. “Who are you?” And amazingly, he actually got a response. A response I could get behind, even.

So, who am I? Well, for now you can think of me as "The New Girl." It's a place to start. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Speaking of Windbags . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 14:08:00 +0000

I know this is kind of behind-the-times but there's been a lot of debate in the local media about controlling the deer population. Some recent letters to the editor in the PG have offered timeless wisdom on hunting & other management methods.

One guy tells us that people are more important than deer so we need to do whatever it takes to protect ourselves. A particularly venomous shrew of a woman decrees one run-in with a deer tick will immediately change the minds of the idiot "do-gooders".

I beg to differ. An encounter with a tick might be gross but it's not particularly painful or life-threatening unless you ignore it for months - or even years - and it just happens to have been an infected tick. Lots of big ifs there. Worst-case scenario for any normal person is a short course of a simple antibiotic such as amoxycillin which is hardly a big deal & only costs about $10 if you don't have insurance.

And by "normal" I mean people who practice even the most basic personal hygeine. I speak from experience when I tell you that you will not miss a tick on your body. Even the most half-assed effort to bathe yourself will reveal them. And local doctors & vets will tell you that Western PA is a relatively unlikely place to encounter any type of tick, especially the kind you need to worry about.

Certainly I don't question the value of human life. However, our wildlife management is not so lacking that we need to be protected from nature. That's freakin ridiculous. Wildlife is usually only a "threat" to us when their habitat has been recently disrupted. I see deer in the heart of the city almost every day, but rarely see roadkill or a wildlife related accident. Why? Because the development is relatively old & everyone has adapted.

But in the suburbs there's a TON of roadkill & lots of accidents. There's also constant development. Wildlife habitat is disappearing daily. Surely, I'm not the only one that sees a connection.

Not to go off on a tangent, but just because a car hits a deer, is it always the deer's fault? Let's be realistic here. People crash into inanimate and/or stationary objects all the time. Is it the telephone pole's fault when you hit it?

Lots of drivers don't pay enough attention: talking on the phone, looking at their kids in the backseat, reading a newspaper, shaving, putting on make-up, intoxication, stupidity or just plain old not a good driver. Sometimes road or whether conditions are simply out of our control & even the best driver can't avoid an accident.

How many people hit deer on suburban roads because they're blinded by some oncoming idiot with high-beams or excessive flourescent headlights? I'd love to see statistics on that. (Note: areas like Shaler & Oakmont do not require high beams. If you think you need them, simply obey the speed limit, know where you are going & shockingly everything will work out ok, dummy.)

All I'm saying is that vehicle-deer collisions are usually noted as unavoidable accidents. They're not always unavoidable but there's no victimized driver to report what you were really doing, so the deer take all the blame.

In short, if you feel threatened by Bambi, buy a house in an established neighborhod instead of building your McMansion on an abandoned farm. Duh. Animals adapt, often much better & more quickly than humans. If you don't like them, stay out of their home & you'll likely avoid them altogether. But if you want to "share" the land, you're going to have be a better neighbor.

I Feel Stabby, Oh So Stabby!

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 14:06:00 +0000

I recently quit smoking & it's just awful. Words can't even describe it. Let's just say that I'm not fit for social interaction right now. I did smoke half of a cigarette yesterday while wearing a patch but then someone caught me & I was shamed into putting it out. This sucks.

Mind Your Own Beeswax!

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 12:37:00 +0000

As a blowhard & blogger, I take great pride in giving the world my unsolicited opinions. The beauty of my system is that nobody has to read the blog & the world doesn't change to accomodate me. Sure there's the occasional tete-a-tete with some wacko (see Mr. Enlightenment on why women should in fact not think for themselves or the more recent comments from "Omar", the guy who insists that I mean the opposite of whatever I say . . . ).

The very self-important just can't accept the fact that their ideas are too stupid or unpopular for practical implementation. So they form groups with likeminded jackasses to bully everyone until they get their way. Such actions can be witnessed on every level of our society, from peer pressure among children to political lobbyists. But when it screws with pop culture, even I'm forced to take a stand.

There's a group called the Parents Television Council. Their entire purpose is to watch television shows of which they do not approve, then harass corporations until said companies refuse to advertise during those shows. All of this time & effort is expended in the name of "protecting" our children.

There are shows & even entire channels just for kids and/or family viewing. Federal regulations dictate what can/can not be said or done on TV. Technology exists that allows parents to block out specific channels & shows. Most significant, there are these people called "parents" who are supposed to pay attention to their kids, interact with the children & ensure that the child's life isn't spent in front of the TV.

In their latest newsletter, they are targeting some of the best shows (Family Guy, Criminal Minds, CSI, Rescue Me & others). Even if you don't watch these shows, would you deny the rest of the world an opportunity to view them merely so that you don't have to be responsible for your own children?

In particular, they're harping on CSI: New York right now. Hello, but that airs at 10 pm in most markets. Why isn't your kid in bed yet? They have successfully chased off big bucks advertisers (Verizon, Clorox, Mazda & many more), convinved the FCC to increase fines tenfold & are challenging license renewals for local stations in large markets such as Houston & Dallas.

They're working diligently to "abolish" violence in video games & "indecency" on the radio, as well. Incidentally, they gave their broadcaster of the year award to the Hallmark channel. And their efforts aren't limited to the major networks, as they're attacking cable channels as well.

In short, their tactics work because people give in just to be rid of the unrelenting harassment. We all have the right to choose such things for ourselves for now but that right is going to disappear quickly if we don't counteract their efforts.

They're going to do to television what ClearChannel has done to radio but it's not going to stop there because ClearChannel radio isn't wholesome enough for them!

Let's inundate them with letters, complaints & harassment until they give in & mind their own business! I'm going to request a list of their financial sponsors & then start a boycott of those who support this censorship. I encourage everyone to do the same. Let's see how they like their own medicine.

I don't know about you but I do not want Ned & Maude Flanders to be the final authority on all of America's entertainment choices. If music, television, movies, video games, free speech or autonomy mean anything to you, please act accordingly.

You're It!

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 03:02:00 +0000

Umm, okay, I'm it . . . I've been tagged by Heather.

Grab the book closest to you
Open to page 123, go down to the fifth sentence
Post the text of next 3 sentences on your blog
Name of the book and the author
Tag three people

"It's true that the various police departments involved in the case --- particularly the Michigan department --- are ready to have both you & Mr. Turner arrested. I, however, do not share their enthusiasm."

"Get to it, Doctor." - Mortal Fear by Greg Iles

That's incredibly boring & is totally not representative of the book, which is one of my all-time most favorite novels! I have no idea who to tag. Seriously, nobody I know is going to do this but I will try . . .

You say tomato . . .

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 19:36:00 +0000

It's not as though I have some fantastically high profile blog, as though the world waits with baited breath for the next post. As such, this blog receives a variety of interesting & thought-provoking comments but doesn't attract so much attention as to make me a target of wackos.

Until now.

If you disagree, offer a rational point of view instead of calling names & hurling unfounded accusations. If my posts seem ridiculous, ask questions instead of making crazy accusations.

Everyone makes mistakes sometimes or misunderstands others on occasion. But there's no acceptable reason to make comments on a blog if those comments have nothing to do with that blog.

It takes an extraordinary coward to make crude, offensive anonymous "comments"; How easy it must be to criticize others while denying them the opportunity to critique you in any way! If you can't be bothered to make any effort of your own, you should be especially considerate of those who do.

If you have something to say, blog. Blog away! But don't unload the chip on your shoulder on someone else's page. I'm perfectly able to admit it when I don't understand something & require further explanation. I believe that only then will I learn.

When I comment, I apologize when I'm mistaken or misunderstood in any way. I also thank people for taking the time to explain their point to me, since I missed it the first time. Even when I disagree with other people's opinions, I appreciate having had the opportunity to hear them out & consider where they're coming from.

Sometimes I change my views as I gather more facts. But even if I don't, I'm always grateful to have had a chance to critically examine & affirm them. If I read something that I find offensive, I write down my response, walk away for a while & revise it as necessary before submitting -- or sometimes just delete altogether.

Knee-jerk reactions, closed minds & emotional responses never lead to broadened horizons or meaningful discussions.

I believe in being gracious -- and grateful -- to everyone who puts themselves out there and especially to those who that the effort to get their point across to everyone.

The key to good communication isn't getting it "right" the first time, but rather in being able to reiterate your statements as needed to reach as many interested parties as possible.

Life is not static, it's fluid. You can't go through life without ever forming new views, revising existing ones or opening yourself to ideas you've never considered. Well, it's possible but would prevent even an iota of personal or intellectual growth.

As this year draws to a close, I would like to thank everyone out there for blogging & commenting. I learn something each time I read your thoughts & I hope that every reader is enriched by my own, even if only in a very small way.

Merry Christmas to All!

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 19:10:00 +0000

Would you like to wish a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to some of your online friends in their native language? Here are some great links to translation pages, to help you do just that.

Translations from Omniglot

Greetings & goodbyes around the world

Central European translations

Merry Christmas in all languages

Merry Christmas!

Leave Santa Alone

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 13:57:00 +0000

Illegal immigration has long been a hot topic in this country & we all know that it will be in the spotlight for the next presidential election. (Yay! Election season! All soundbites & rhetoric, that time of year when facts & intelligent dialogue just fall by the wayside.)

Being of Native American descent, I follow the arguments with both interest & a hint of amusement. I can't help but see the parallels. That said, there's an important point in this debate that nobody seems to want to face. Illegal immigration as a whole is not a real problem in the US. What is a huge problem is illegal immigration of Mexican citizens.

Let's face it, most foreign-born citizens that want to come to the US have to follow a process. There are only two places geographically positioned in such a way as to allow people to sneak into the US illegally & you'll never convince me that large numbers of Canadians are fleeing here.

Since the rest of the world has to abide by our regulations & established process to gain citizenship, why would Mexicans be exempted? It seems really unfair to the rest of the world to let Mexicans just walk right in when that won't fly for anyone else.

It's ridiculous to characterize the problem as illegal immigration when in fact it's not about immigration at all. The real issue is that citizens of one particular nation consider themselves to be above our laws. They want special preferential treatment above & beyond what is afforded to everyone else.

If you have no respect for the laws of a nation, no faith in that nation's due process & no compassion for others (people such as foreigners from countries other than your own, who seek citizenship through proper channels), then why do you want to come here in the first place? Logically, this place isn't for you. You hate it's laws, you hate the people it welcomes, you hate the people who already live there or you'd pay all the same taxes they pay . . .

You're probably wondering what brought this on. I recently came across an article about an anti-Hazleton, PA website which accuses the town of banning Santa Claus because he's not a US citizen. I visited the site & frankly it's pretty stupid.

For starters, Santa is not a good example. He visits everyone once a year for a few minutes, which does not qualify as illegal immigration. Also, I truly believe that Santa not only pays taxes but also that the elves earn a living wage & have excellent benefits.

More importantly, it's a really bad idea to promote, encourage & champion illegal immigration. It does a terrible disservice to potential immigrants from every other nation, for one thing. They may hear stupid messages such as this & think that they aren't welcome here because they're not the preferred race or ethnicity. In some parts of the US, public & social services which exist to help newcomers are overburdened by illegals & not accessible to our legal immigrants.

Just look around the next time you go shopping or visit a doctor. Everything is in Spanish today. Imagine how confusing & frustrating that must be for the hundreds of thousands of people from non-Spanish speaking countries that come here & struggle with language every day. In essence, by embracing the current "movement" put forth on behalf of illegal Mexican immigrants, we're telling people from all over the world that we don't care about them at all. We're telling them that we're only extending ourselves to the squatters & scofflaws.

The solution is simple: don't support this movement. It harms many & benefits only a selfish few. By being illegal, these people are often put in a position where it is difficult or even impossible to assimilate. By accomodating them, we ostracize everyone else. That isn't welcoming to new citizens. It unfairly burdens the law-abiding taxpayers who have to foot all the bills -- many of whom are legal immigrants themselves; What a slap in the face! It does nothing to help the illegals become legal, yet it condones that way of life & encourages the cycle to continue.

It's a lose-lose situation for everyone. And the root of the problem here is the lack of focus in the debate. Obscuring the real issue prevents critical thinking on the subject. No useful or relevant solutions can ever be put forth when all subject matter is completely out of context. We can only help that this issue will be discussed in context as the debate continues.

Homage to Blinky

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 17:38:00 +0000

Here's some food for thought: Imagine that you encounter a strangely freakish animal, a mutant of some sort. Maybe a hermaphroditic cow/bull with 7 legs. What would run through your mind?

I think my thoughts would turn to the possible cause of the mutation. I'd wonder what dangerous pollutants or dire genetic abnormality might be responsible. Maybe I'd try to get a photo of it. But I definitely wouldn't accept a burger made from that cow. Would you?

A daring chap in Wisconsin does not share my reservations. The man ran over a young buck in his driveway. Being an avid deer hunter, he decided to take the carcass home for dinner. I can only imagine his surprise upon closer inspection, when he discovered that the buck had both male & female sex organs, as well as 3 extra stump legs similar to crab pinchers.

Incidentally, the story brought to mind good old Blinky, the 3 eyed fish caught in the river just outside the Springfield nuclear power plant.

"It was definitely a freak of nature." He's quoted as saying in a recent MSN article. "It kind of gives you the creeps when you look at it." He also described the deer as quite tasty.

Sorry, but I just couldn't eat the mutant. It would be interesting to see a follow-up story on this guy years from now. Will he have dolphin-like flippers or perhaps nub antlers of his own? One can only imagine.

I don't know what kind of environmental laws they have in Wisconsin, but I sure hope this kind of thing is stringently investigated. That seems unlikely, sine the evidence was promptly processed & consumed but I'd still like to think someone will try to figure it out.

Idiot Laws

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 18:38:00 +0000

It's a shame that such things have to be legislated but we all know these laws are desperately needed. They're long overdue but 3 new state mandates are about to take effect. The term "idiot laws" is often tossed around in reference to things we shouldn't have to legislate but do, so it seems very fitting in this case.

Has this ever happened to you: You're driving along on an icy morning when suddenly George Costanza's evil twin in 80's couture flys up behind you, weaving in & out of traffic in an extremely unsafe manner.

Between gelling what hair he has left & starching his collar into just the right "casually dork" somewhat upright position, he must have run short of time. He was simply too pressed to clear the 2+ feet of snow & ice from the roof or covered bed of his grotesque, taxicab yellow foreign mini-truck.

He completes his final slalom through traffic & in celebration of his victory of passing all traffic on the right, he floors it & starts to fishtail. The aforementioned winter build-up goes flying & hits the windshield of your vehicle & 2 others, temporarily blinding all 3 drivers on the icy overpass. As a result, you have pull over on an icy road with no shoulder to clear your own windshield.

Even though there are clearly 3 vehicles & 3 drivers occupied on the side of the road, other drivers have no consideration for these people whatsoever. They don't even bother to change lanes when possible. One exsquisitely mannered gentleman in a McClane rig even feels the need to holler disgusting epithets - let's just say British terms for cigarettes & a "Catch you next tuesday" kind of thing.

Apparently, their victimization had somehow inconvenienced him. Maybe he prefers more of a challenge when nearly running down motorists in distress, I don't know.

Of course, there's a few nicks in the windshield from the ice balls that struck it. By the time you drive the final three miles to your office, there's a crack in the windshield. By the time you return from lunch, there are 2 cracks. By the time the glass repair guys arrive, you know you need a whole new windshield.

Three people were put in harm's way, inconvenienced & endured out of pocket expense upward of $200 bucks, all because "George" is stupid & lazy. And yes, I was one of the victims.

But I'm happy to say now "Georges of the world beware". Failure to completely clear one's vehicle of snow & ice can receive fines of $200 - $1000. For inconsiderate motorists like our classy rig passenger, fines start at $250. If you fail to change lanes (or move to your left as much as possible) when encountering a vehicle or person on the shoulder, you can lose your license for up to 90 days.

The third law requires headlights on whenever windshield wipers are in use, which is plain old common sense. At least, it should be common sense . . .

I don't mind taking a few extra minutes to brush & scrape when Mother Nature sprinkles my Jeep with her frosting. I'm short but I keep an empty milk crate handy so that I can fully clear the roof. I'd rather be a courteous, intelligent motorist than injure or kill an innocent person. I wouldn't even want to live with the fact that some poor driver had to spend a few hundred bucks on a new windshield just because I'm a stupid, lazy, selfish jerk.

Personally, I think the penalties are too lenient. But of course these laws aren't made for people like me, they're made for people like "George". Maybe "stupid" really is a handicap & the hit to their wallets will drive home the point. I sure hope so.

A Trivia Nerd's Dream

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 13:21:00 +0000

My life is fairly stressful, not a whole lot of "me" time. So I like to devote as much of my free time as possible to good old-fashioned silliness. My intellectual side is generally satisfied by my job, my often dour coursework & an occasional serious book.

The fun part of me wants to read funny books & watch stupid-silly movies. Nary a day goes by that I don't quote The Simpsons. I'm one of those annoying people who frequently reference movies most popular with teenage boys. I have successfully surrounded myself with like-minded people who share my love of all things ridiculous.

And I love trivia, although I'm not really a force to be reckoned with in that arena. Have I also mentioned that I'm sometimes the last to know about cool stuff, since I'm often in my own little world?

You're probably wondering why I'm boring you with this. Well, I've recently made a delightful discovery: The Internet Movie Database is chock full of cool trivia & quotes. And it's not limited to movies but includes your favorite television shows as well.

I may not always have time to sit down & watch an old favorite, so IMD lets me steal a moment to relive the funniest scenes & the best lines. It's also inspired some unique & sure-to-be-appreciated gift ideas this Christmas season.

Some of the pages I've recently visited:

Quotes from CB4, one funny movie. Chris Rock, Phil Hartman & Chris Elliot -- could anyone poke fun at gangster rap, right-wing conservatives & clueless wannabes better? Well, no.

Airheads is a cameo-laden exercise in stupidity & I absolutely love it. All of your favorites are here, from the obscure (Ed & His Dead Mother) to the classics (Animal House, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Caddyshack) and the contemporary goofs (Billy Madison, Dodgeball, Old School, Happy Gilmore).

Goodfellas is one of my personal favorites but I'd also like to call attention to one of the most underrated gangster flicks of all time: New Jack City. Memorable line from Nino Brown, referring to his girlfriend: "Cancel that bitch. I'll buy another one." Love it.

Cruel Intentions is totally underrated as well. This story has everything & is no-holds-barred cruel to everyone. An exercise in sarcasm & satire but very entertaining indeed. Great Quote from Cecile: "He took down my pants & started writing the alphabet but he was writing it with his tongue!"

In addition to the entertainment value, I'm learning stuff as well -- useless stuff, my absolute most favorite kind of knowledge.

For the Scrubs fans out there, did you know that (916) Call-Turk is a real number? A voicemail recording is set up to give you the latest information about the show. The cell phone is normally lying around the set & is occasionally answered by cast or crew members who enjoy chatting with fans.

So next time you need a laugh or just a few minutes respite from the world, give it a try.

Is this Irony or What?

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 14:27:00 +0000

One can hardly read the local news without hearing of yet another effort to prevent a casino in the Hill District. Various church organizations & community groups are working diligently to ensure that the casino is built elsewhere.

Let me first make it clear that I personally think legalized gambling establishments are a complete cop-out from our state government. Our leaders have no vision. They lack the creativity & progressiveness needed to create jobs, decrease government waste & improve our state for the better.

Here's a novel idea: Instead of giving humble public servants lavish perks, salaries more than double the median PA income or free health insurance into perpetuity -- not to mention the extravagent pension plans that aren't subject to any state or local taxes -- use some of that money for property tax relief, infrastructure costs, etc.

But I digress. Casinos are touted as the answer to all of our problems when in reality the money being spent there will most likely just be the same money that's already being spent here right now, it will merely be spent at the casino instead of the mall, some restaurant, concert hall, mortgage payment, grocery store, etc.

The point is that instead of coming up with viable solutions, the whole casino dog & pony show has monopolized public interest, taking focus off of real issues & problems in our little corner of the world. We debate the veracity of the casinos themselves as a good solution to our ills, we bicker over the details - where will it go, how many free drinks can they serve, can we smoke there - and the debates could go on forever with no satisfactory resolution to any side of any argument.

While we debate the details, the corruption behind the entire debacle goes largely unnoticed. The average taxpayer is completely clueless about the role of lobbyists in all of this, nor are they aware of the corruption involved.

But the reality of the situation is that a casino is going to come to Pittsburgh. If history has taught us anything, we know that PA taxpayers will somehow get screwed on the whole deal. Since the proposed sites are basically within walking distance of one another, it's unlikely that any one community will see horrendous detriment due to the actual location of the casino.

Case in point: With the Isle of Capri plan, Pittsburgh will get a new arena for free. That would help our hockey team a lot since they play in the oldest & crappiest arena in the league. Anyone who enjoys music would benefit, since our existing arena is so outdated that it can't support modern equipment used by most bands these days. The arena is useful for much more than hockey & concerts, so this would offer the entire region a perk that would benefit many people.

The other proposals offer considerably less to the region & give little, if anything back to the average citizen. In fact, one of the plans offers next to nothing.

But there are all these groups from the Hill mobilizing protests, rallies & the like to do everything in their power to make sure the best plan for everyone gets shut out.

It amazes me that they'll work so hard against the one plan that would make the whole slots debacle somewhat worthwhile to the region. At the very least, it will create some decent jobs for the area & greatly increase the tax base. Plus, the developer has proposed donating $1 million per year to the Hill itself, which would go a long way toward rebuilding this once-great neighborhood.

I'd like to know why these same "concerned" community groups can't organize that kind of determination to clean up their neighborhood & reduce crime.

For the People

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 14:14:00 +0000

Life is good with Verizon DSL. Don't let the tortoise commercials from Comcast bias you against it. Anyone who knows me will tell you that Comcast was my archnemesis for years. Crappy service, phony "specials", mysterious rate increases . . . everything about Comcast just plain sucks.

I was stuck in their clutches due to the strange positioning of my townhouse, which prevented satellite reception. But then I moved & got my dish, along with DSL. Best choice I ever made. I now pay considerably less to receive far more. My internet connection is not only faster but more reliable.

My satellite service is far more reliable, offers more channels for less money & gives me channels I actually want. No more of this: "What? I no longer have NFL Network or Bravo unless I pay $20 more each month? No, I don't think the 24 hr. golf station & radio Disney fill that void at all . . . "

And I don't their need the totally overrated "On Demand" -- having a dual DVR box means never missing anything in the first place.

For those of you who buy into the anti-DSL propaganda or are just plain afraid that satellite service means no reception when it rains, you'll soon have an alternative. Verizon is finally working to bring programming to our area. After decades of revolting tyranny, everyone will have a choice, even the meek.

It's way overdue, but we'll take it. Not that I'd get rid of my Dish, but it's nice to have options in case they become somewhat "Comcastic" in the future.

'Tis the Season

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 15:18:00 +0000

It's that time of year again, that magical time when we push & shove through the crowds, elbowing our ways to fantastic deals.

On Saturday, I stopped to fill my gas tank & was chatting with my friendly neighborhood convenience store employees. In the midst of discussing the awesome weather & our fantastically delicious holidays, another clerk straggled into the store, shaking his head.

"Stay away from K-Mart!", he announced loudly. "Don't go there for any reason!"

Normally, I do just that but we're running out of Beggin' Strips so I'd planned on picking up a few bags. Before I could even ask, he offered a harrowing tale indeed.

A quick jaunt around the corner for cold medicine had ended up being one of the most frightening experiences of his life. In his short journey from the medicine aisle - very near the entrance - to check out, he was subjected to bodily injury & witnessed physical altercations resulting from jerks taking stuff out of other peoples' carts.

A blue-light special ($30 no-name brand DVD player) was announced & all hell broke loose. His shaky mannerisms & halting speech were remniscient of refugees fleeing civil war.

Not willing to risk my personal safety for fake bacon, I opted to get Rocco a couple of cheeseburgers from the fast-food joint down the street. As I waited patiently for my order in the 1/4 mile drive-thru line, I decided that this will be the year I do all of my Christmas shopping on-line.

All of it.

I don't like to shop. It's a pain in the ass. I'm quite impatient & hate waiting in line. I can't stand invasion of my personal space & must repress the urge to slap away any hand that reaches in front of me. When hit with an errant cart by a clueless shopper, my first instinct is to start a nasty game of "bumper carts".

The prospect of some jackass taking something out of my cart thus forcing me to re-shop could potentially push me over the edge into a very dark place from which there is no return.

Since I'd rather not celebrate the season by posting bail, I'm committed to avoiding the stores as much as possible until approximately mid-January.

For my regular shopping needs, I plan on to wake up in the middle of the night on Tuesday or Wednesday (not the weekend) to hit the 24-hour stores. Really. And if I can't get it on-line, it won't be under the tree this year.

Of course, there may be a few small exceptions but all in all, my list should be fulfilled with a few clicks of the mouse. I'll group my purchases as much as possible to keep shipping fees down. Many retailers offer free shipping anyway. Even with shipping costs, I'm sure to come out ahead when you consider gas costs & the time wasted driving around parking lots & sitting in mall traffic.

The lack of impulse buys will keep me within my budget. My shopping efforts will be focused on gifts for others rather than stuff for me. I won't snap & assault anyone. There are just so many pluses & nary a con to this plan, so far. But can it really be that simple? Let's hope. I'll keep you posted.

Kramer vs. Everybody

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 23:07:00 +0000

If you're like me, you're sick & tired of hearing about Michael Richards. It seems to me that he may have had some sort of mental breakdown. (He had at least one in the past). Now I'm not saying that it's ok for comedians to just stand on stage & shout racial slurs at the audience but . . .

Well, wait a minute. Comedians do that all the time & people looove it. How can that be? Well, the comedians I'm talking about aren't straight white American folks. They're black, Hispanic, Asian, Jewish, homosexual, immigrants & handicapped.

For some reason, that makes it ok. It's never a racial slur if it's directed at Caucasian people.

Likewise, it's never hate speech if it's directed at women, children, the rich, lawyers, politicians, Italians, blondes, the poor, anyone from the South, people of Polish descent, the Irish, policemen & women, Catholics (especially priests), your own husband or anyone who has ever lived in West Virginia.

There are a couple of things particularly troubling about this incident. For starters, the "victims'" lawyer immediately demanded a monetary apology. It's impossible to maintain even an iota of integrity while cashing a check with "Sorry I hurt your feelings" in the memo line. If money salves your alleged wounds then you don't have enough human decency in you to even have feelings.

Hip hop & gangsta rap culture are celebrated & even emulated by many people. It's also defined by violent & racist language. I'd like to think that every person pissed at Richards has written at least one letter to the FCC or their local radio stations in protest of this pop music . . . but if everyone was as outraged by this term as they claim to be, rap artists wouldn't be getting richer & more famous every day.

In America, we're at the mercy of the media. When was the last time you saw copious news footage of a murderer, rapist or pedophile being called on the carpet for their crimes? But heaven help any person who commits some sort of perceived social faux pas because the media will flay you mercilessly. Seems pretty lame to me.

The media panders to the poltical correctness of the moment. The same media pressuring us to denounce Richards used the word "colored" with no apologies just twenty years ago. Only a week ago, that same media was salaciously anticipating OJ's new book.

Our culture should shape the media, not the other way around. It's time for America to take back our society from the reporters & broadcasters. They should be reporting what we do, not contriving & manipulating situations to garner the desired reaction from us.

In this country we have freedom of speech. That means that if you don't like what someone has to say, you don't have to listen; You don't have to condone it but it also means that you can't ever shut them up. What's ignorant or demeaning to you is empowering & motivating to another -- for example, words like bitch & nigger, which have been embraced by many women & blacks in recent years.

The downside to your freedom is that everyone else has it too. At some point, a person is going to spit your own sexuality, culture, etc. back in your face & you're not gonna like it.

But freedom is an all-or-nothing principle & it's not to anyone's advantage that we all give it up. If you don't want to be free, there are plenty of other places you can go. There are countries all over the world where people can't speak their mind for fear of execution.

Join the US military & you're almost guaranteed instant deployment to a nation that supports censorship. By the time your tour has ended, your idea of freedom -- and what it's worth -- will probably have changed for the better.

Odds & Ends

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 13:54:00 +0000

I know I should post more often & I'll try to do better but I have been sick. Very sick. For weeks. It probably has something to do with standing out in the cold & rain handing out flyers on election day. Maybe I supported the wrong candidates & God is punishing me. I don't know.

The pace at school is finally slowing down a little as the semester winds to an end. In fact, there's been such a remarkable downturn that I was able to get caught up on the entire season of Prison Break over the past week. Yay! I love that show.

Sadly, it's just a tease & is not indicative of what's to come. During my lengthy 14-day break between semesters, I'll be loaded down with assignments! They even take Christmas from us, it's so unfair. Right now I'm completely devoid of interesting topics of discussion, save for sports talk & commentary on my favorite tv shows.

By the way, can somebody please tell me why the FBI would bother harassing C-Note's wife & daughter when Teabag is running around the country with $5 million cash, murdering people? Let's take an informal poll: How many of you went to Halloween parties this year & saw at least one person dressed as "Injured Ben Roethlisburger"?

That's a great costume. I hope every single one won a prize. Far more original than the Crocdile Hunter, which was everywhere this Halloween. (Note to my brother: I want my stuffed manta ray back before your dog gets it.)

Bummer of a Nascar Championship. As a fan, I like almost every driver in the sport. Almost. Out of about 45 drivers, there are only 5 or 6 I don't like. Of course, one of them won. I personally believe anyone caught cheating more than once should be disqualified from contention, but that's just me. I can take comfort in the fact that this particular driver is frequently jeered & that the majority of fans were probably disapointed with the outcome this season. Perhaps it will encourage Nascar to dump the ridiculous "chase" format for good.

I'm done wallowing in self-pity & have simply become resigned to a never-ending cold/flu thing. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'll blog more. I promise.

Final Round-Up

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 13:41:00 +0000

Ok, ok, I know I've been slacking. But just to prove my point, I've gone to considerable trouble to compile a list of reasons why you shouldn't cast a vote based on the local newspapers' endorsements.

Election day is almost upon us & this state really needs some help. Are the same old dinosaurs going to wake up Wednesday morning with a new outlook on life & sudden motivation? No, they're not. If anything, they'll be more secure in their greed & self-serving agendas.

There are a lot of important issues facing voters across the state. One's personal view of abortion & smoking are hardly relevant for a state legislator. So do not blindly support a candidate merely because the popular local paper endorses him/her.

Visit www.vote-smart.org to get the scoop on the candidates. It's a non-partisan site offering information on candidate positions, campaign finance sources, incumbent voting records, public statements, interest group ratings & much more.

Our local media is doing a horrible disservice to voters by ignoring the real issues & focusing on two hot-topic but essentially inconsequential non-issues. If you don't believe it or feel the previous examples given may be coincidental, just visit these links to see for yourself:

In the 46th district, the PG endorsement goes to the candidate lacking a specific plan to reduce the size of the legislature. This is also the candidate who would choose to raise income tax & sales tax to eliminate property taxes. The other candidate would like to find alternative funding for schools so as not to overburden taxpayers or drive down consumerism. Unfortunately, the guy with the better ideas & more comprehensive plan also doesn't support a smoking ban. Sorry but this kind of logic couldn't help me to find my way out of a paper bag. Thanks but no thanks.

With elections looming, our local media missed a prime opportunity to demand answers from the candidates. An October 11 article introduced the findings of a Harrisbug study that proposes creating and/or raising regional taxes to fund our transportation deficit. The problem with that is 1) our taxes are already quite high 2) we pay a ridiculous gasoline tax 3) taxpayer funds for roads & bridges are continually diverted to bail out mismanaged & unapologetic quasi-governmental public transit like PAT & SEPTA.

Please lawmakers, take more of my hard-earned money, charge me more for gas, force me to drive on crappier roads & then give my money to PAT so that they can raise prices, cut services & pay more drivers triple their base salary in overtime wages.

This is a huge issue crucial to our state & region. In order to make an informed & educated decision as to a candidates qualifications, how about asking their views? Why not ask candidates to provide solutions, proposals or at least some vague suggestions? Our infrastructure is exponentially more important than whether or not you can smoke in a bar, yet the topic hardly receives lip-service in comparison.

It doesn't hurt to add that our state legislature costs more than $431 million per year & our state budget has increased drastically (which dramatically out of step with inflation & with comparable states) under our current leadership. Why isn't the local media focusing on this waste in light of our infrastructure crisis?

And although the PG has endorsed Jason Altmire, they still deserve to be chastised for defending Melissa Hart's rotten voting record in an Ad Watch article on October 24.

The piece states that Ms. Hart did in fact vote with the President 89% of the time (or more) but contends that this is a lower number than other Pennsylvania Republicans. What does that have to do with anything? Her vote is her vote, regardless of what anyone else is voting.

Some other politician votes against his/her constituents more often than Ms. Hart does, so that somehow absolves Ms. Hart from her duty to represent those who elected her to office? Certainly not. It has no bearing whatsoever on the matter.

The article also questions Altmire's choice to criticize 9 specific Hart votes by reasoning that these particular votes all took place among party lines with very few defectors.

So what? As my mother would say, if every other Republican legislator jumped off of a cliff, would you jump too, Melissa? That's no excuse for ignoring the voices of your constituents. She is a representative of the voters, not a representative of her party. If she'd prefer to serve the party then she should bow out of elected office & become a paid employee of the GOP.

Be Careful What You Wish For

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 13:36:00 +0000

Was your political post an endorsement for the 20th District challenger or do you actually have a point to make about local media election coverage? - Scott in Westmoreland

Sorry, Scott. I've been busy & slacking on my posts. I'll try not to bog this down in too many details but here goes:

The October 17 PG editorial valiantly refuses to endorse any candidate. Well, thanks for nothing. Challengers in the 27th & 24th districts are apparently not pro-abortion & anti-smoking enough for the paper's editorial board.

In the 27th, the challenger (Ogden) would suport a ban on Roe v. Wade & feels that business owners are competent to run smoking or nonsmoking establishments. He supports reducing the size of the legislature, term-limits & would like to promote fiscal accountability (i.e., state funds shouldn't have to keep bailing out public agencies such as the City of Pittsburgh & the Port Authority.)

The incumbent (Petrone) has given us 12 useless terms & has no accomplishments to speak of. He voted for & took the pay raise, tried to weasel out of repayment by claiming he "donated" the money to families of servicement killed in Iraq & now claims to be paying it back in $100 monthly installments. If I stole thousands from my employers I'd go to jail, how about you?

Petrone claims to be pro-choice but is listed as an abortion foe by various PACS. He says city leaders are fiscally responsible & wants state funding to relieve Pittsburgh of various financial burdens -- including the generous pensions enjoyed by the generations of nepotism-spawned yokels on the city payroll.

In Petrone's time in office, much of his district has seriously declined. What used to be thriving neighborhoods in the West End of the city have degenerated into bastions of section 8 housing, businesses are closing their doors & crime is skyrocketing. Gangs are fighting in the streets & people who have lived in these areas for 40 years or more are desperate to leave & having difficulty selling their homes. No thanks to the local rep, the area is going to get their police station back but a lot of work still needs to be done to revitalize these communities.

The choice here is clear: Petrone has had 12 terms to act in the best interests of the citizens & has done nothing to make this a more prosperous or better state. He is part of the problem in Harrisburg & serves only himself, not the constituents. While Ogden may not be an ideal candidate, is there ever such a thing?

We don't need career politicians in Harrisburg. They have proven time & again that they are more concerned about their own benefits & salaries than any of the issues of taxpayer concern.

Give the challenger a chance. If he doesn't satisfy, we can replace him next election. Why vote to keep the proven failure?

In the same editorial, the incumbent in the 24th (Preston) is called "uninspiring" & it's noted that he voted for the pay raise, illegally took the money & isn't repaying it.

Yet the editorial board still can't find it within themselves to endorse his opponent? Who's running against him, Osama bin Ladin? What could possibly be so bad about the challenger?

The challenger (Koger) is honest about how much one rep can accomplish. He speaks frankly about issues such as reducing the size of legislature & admits that it isn't likely to happen anytime soon. That's probably true. Unless we make a concerted effort to send a lot of inspired challengers to Harrisburg, it will never happen.

Apparently being realistic & honest will work against you in PG country. Rather than fault the guy for telling the truth, they should be shouting from the headlines that this is the man for the job & he needs likeminded colleagues from other districts to get results.

They're critical of the fact that Koger is a lifelong Independent running as a Democrat. Party affiliation is pettiness at this point, because both major parties are are lazy & self-serving once they get to the state capitol. These ae facts evidenced by our crumbling infrastructure & skyrocketing state budget.

Of course, it doesn't help that while Koger supports the indoor smoking ban, he feels it's not likely go into effect. And of course Preston wants to keep abortion legal.

Preston is another 12-term disapointment, representing some of the most impoverished & troubled neighborhoods in Western PA. His district is in continual decline & he has not had any notable accomplishments for his constituents in 12 terms. Is any challenger going to do a worse job for this district? Seems unlikely. Give the newcomer a chance to produce.

PA Politics (Sigh)

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 17:27:00 +0000

It's election time again, so brace yourself for disappointment. In this area, we're continually subjected to the same useless, self-important jerks winning re-election with little (if any) effort.

Everyone should become a politician in this state. You've got nearly unconditional job security. No matter how poor your performance, you'll be grossly overcompensated & always get re-elected here.

Our new state motto should be "Pennsylvania: Bastion of Low Expectations".

After the last election, I didn't think I could ever be more disapointed in politics. There was so much to break my spirit last November but a here are standouts:

A man who's never practiced law or held any job in the private sector was elected as a judge. He was the only candidate not endorsed by the local bar association.

And the chorus of praise for the Sheriff's office absolutely floored me.

There was more integrity in the Wild West than there is in the Allegheny County Sheriff's office. A lawless criminal element masquerading as law enforcement, it makes the murderous gunslingers of prospecting days seem like mischevious neighborhood boys in comparison.

After that, what could possibly be worse?

Right now, it's our local media. Hard to believe, especially if you've witnessed the juvenile debate tactics of our US Senate hopefuls, but true.

Many voters rely on the local papers to inform & guide their ballot choices. Passionate reporting of the facts might even motivate some listless folk to cast a ballot they would not have otherwise cast. Sadly, the wishy-washy drivel in our local papers is nearly identical to the noncommittal lip service we're receiving from our politicians.

For example, the Post-Gazette has chosen to narrow it's scope of issues to a frighteningly myopic two. Every candidate is rated based on their views of abortion & smoking.

This isn't to say that the hot potato of property tax relief is being ignored, it's just that the PG will endorse any candidate no matter how futile their ideas, as long as the person is pro-choice without restrictions & anti-smoking without exception.

Regardless of your stance on either issue, any informed voter would concede that neither issue is the most important in Pennsylvania right now. Nor is either issue even close to being important enough to decide an election.

It's very irresponsible to endorse incumbents who have proven to be useless for the public's interests, term after term. I'm hard pressed to provide a worse alternative than most incumbents. Even the ones that didn't take the pay raise did nothing to warn taxpayers of the sneaky pending legislation.

None of the incumbents are making a concerted effort to decrease the cost of our legislature which exceeds $430 million dollars per year. Imagine the roadwork, bus rides & property tax relief that could be financed instead.

There's been a recent spate of articles about our crumbling transportation infrastructure (mass budget deficits, bridge safety, etc.) but the PG hasn't felt the need to tell us what (if anything) incumbents have done or propose to do to fix it.

On the same day, they ran an article about proposed transportation taxes while specifically shunning a promising candidate (Dilemma in the 20th). The editorial admits that the incumbent (Walko) is poor a choice but criticizes the challenger (Stalter) for having a job in the private sector (he'd be "a part-time legislator"). A lot of people think that's great but a lot of sheep are going to be against it, thanks to this editorial.

I'd love to see someone in office that wasn't there to line their pockets with my tax dollars (has a job), but that's just me. Part-time legislators & term limits are very popular but they're referred to like four-letter words in this piece.

Progressive goals such as tax reduction & accountability in our state legislature are condescendingly dismissed: "Mr. Stalter's agenda is from the standard conservative playbook."

They go on to mention that Stalter is anti-abortion & against the Allegheny County smoking ban. The piece closes by asking if voters should "overlook the incumbents flaw on the pay raise or embrace the obvious flaws of the challengers." (emphasis mine).

To say that the incumbent has just one flaw to overlook is an insult to readers' intelligence. To dismiss progressive ideals & new options when our state is in such dire straits is irrepsonsible at best.

The PG is no friend to the voter this election & is not an objective source of guidance. I don't even know what's more disgusting, the close-mindedness or the assumption that readers are so dumb & pliable that they don't even have to cloak their bias & agenda.

In the Eye of the Beholder

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 16:20:00 +0000

My girlfriend is very pushy and mean. What should I do? - Anonymous

This one is tricky because I don't have much to go on.

The specifics of this situation could run the gamut from your girlfriend is a selfish, emasculating shrew to your girlfriend is perfectly reasonable & you are the problem. I don't know.

On the severe end of the spectrum, you're girlfriend is pushy & demanding. She wants you to work 3 jobs so that you can financially support her while managing to shower her with lavish treats such as fancy jewels & a summer home in the Keys.

On the other hand, maybe your girlfriend is 8 months pregnant with your child & simply wants you to put down the Xbox controller & bong long enough to find a job, since she's going to have to take a little time off.

I suspect your situation falls somewhere in the very large & potentially complex area between these two scenarios. But without knowing more about the situation, I can only offer some very general advice.

How is she pressuring you? Depending on what she's being pushy about, she may be selfish, controlling or she may just think she's doing you a favor by helping to motivate you. Speak with her about your feelings & find out why she's "pushy".

Maybe she doesn't realize that she's being pushy & by bringing it to her attention she'll have an opportunity to change her behavior for the better.

And "mean" is a pretty subjective term. When she says or does something hurtful to you, point it out to her & ask her why she felt the need to do or say that. Ask her what she hoped to accomplish by doing so.

Again, she may not realize that her actions are hurtful to you & bringing this problem to her attention is the first step in solving it. Some people with poor social skills or a lack of experience aren't even aware of their own unacceptable behavior.

The only way to try to fix the problem is by discussing it with her. If she's unaware, she'll appreciate your honesty & will probably make an effort to be a better person.

If she's dismissive of your concerns or in denial about her behavior, it may be best for you to break off this relationship & find someone who will respect you.

Good luck with your lady.

Lawsuit With a Side of Cojones, Biggie-Sized!

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 22:28:00 +0000

Everyone knows that America's supposed to be the land of opportunity. The American Dream is the fabled notion of success available to anyone willing to earn it. Generations of people have come here from all over the world to fulfill that promise.

But some people are taking it just a bit too far. Lately we've seen the spotlight on illegal immigration from Mexico. The Mexican government feels that our silly "laws" should only apply to potential citizens from countries that are not Mexico.

(If I were president of Mexico, I'd worry more about fixing my country's problems so that people wouldn't be so desperate to flee, rather than putting such effort into trying to get another nation to accept them unconditionally. But that's just me.)

The US government, millions of US citizens & those attempting to gain citizenship through proper channels seem to disagree.

After all, people from all over the world & every walk of life are trying to become US citizens. Should we deny the refugees, political prisoners & dissidents, the sick, the poor & professionals of all kinds just so some folks from Mexico can come here to flip burgers? That's right, they believe that jobs at Wendy's entitle them to subvert our laws.

Seems kinda unfair to me. I guess the ever-popular undeserved sense of entitlement so rampant in America is big in Mexico as well.

These particular illegals are determined to show us that they're as American as apple pie by engaging in some favorite American pastimes such as:

1. refusing to take responsibility for their own actions

2. demanding preferential treatment

3. filing frivolous lawsuits

They came here illegally & got jobs at Wendy's but then had to be fired since they're not legally allowed to work here.

Wendy's was sympathetic & put considerable effort into helping them to become citizens. But Wendy's lawyers missed a crucial deadline & the government is not very flexible about such matters.

Instead of receiving appreciation, gratitude or applause for their efforts, Wendy's received a notice that the illegals are suing the company for firing them.

Tucker Carlson recently interviewed their attorney. The intriguing & somewhat entertaining transcript can be found here from MSNBC. We should have seen this coming. It's not as though we didn't know litigation abuse is happening constantly in the US.

I've heard that America has roughly 5% of the world's population but more than 75% of the world's lawyers. I don't know if that's true but it wouldn't surprise me. It's pretty much been all downhill since some idiot stuck a paper cup of hot coffee in her own crotch while driving & was shocked when the coffee spilled on her hoo-haw.

This was bound to happen. People can sneak into our country because of lax border security. They can live & work here unencumbered by taxes or any debt to society unlike the rest of us.

We pay outrageous health & car insurance premiums to make up for all of the unlicensed drivers & anonymous hospital patients.

When we ask them to please follow our laws they attempt to disrupt our society & intimidate our citizens via gigantic protests. It's their effort to pressure our nation to change our laws just for them, like one big temper tantrum.

So it was only a matter of time until they realized that not only is it easy to get in to, but once you're here you can sue law-abiding citizens for refusing to aid & abet your criminal activity.

In the interest of preserving America, I suggest the hot topic next election season isn't gun control, energy or even immigration.

The key to preventing a further downslide of our nation lies in another area altogether: limits on law school enrollment & graduation.

Bizarro World

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 20:22:00 +0000

Some of the stories in the news are difficult to believe. Do you ever read an online newspaper & wonder for a moment if you accidentally went to The Onion instead?

Here are some of the better ones that I've read recently:

Urine big trouble, mister
Children today have enough to deal with what with child predators, school shootings, bullies & the horrifying wave of "healthy" foods in schools nationwide. As if they don't have enough on their minds, why not bother your young relatives at school when you need a cup of urine?

A Kentucky man was recently arrested in an elementary school, soliciting clean urine for a drug test. When his poor little nephew couldn't produce, he started asking other children & they alerted a teacher.

But don't we all have one of these uncles? If he's anything like me, it'll be years before little Timmy makes a connection between this incident & the "horns" that smell like a skunk at Uncle Bob's but he will make the connection.

Later on in high school or college, Uncle Bob will be briefly popular with Timmy & his friends until they realize that he's the only one of the group that never springs for the pizza.

When Your Little Buddy Lets You Down
In unrelated criminal urine activity a Florida man is in big trouble for not being able to produce. For unknown reasons, the convenience store clerk peed into a bottle of Mountain Dew & then sold it to a customer who got ill.

As part of his sentencing, the man has to undergo regular drug tests but now finds he suffers from a shy bladder & is unable to produce. According to an MSN News article, peeing got him into this mess & now peeing is the only thing that can get him out of it.

Talk about scared straight.

Donate to Pension for Child Molesters
A group of Roman-Catholic priests are raising ire by soliciting donations for defrocked priests. In some cases, this wouldn't be such a bad thing. Some very good priests have been defrocked & excommunicated for asking the Church to be more progressive.

Some have ordained women, gotten married, supported same-sex marriage or merely spoken out against Church positions on bioethical issues.

Not all defrocked priests are potential martyrs & some totally deserve to be excommunicated. Like the pedophiles.

These men have ruined the lives of countless victims & families. They went to great lengths to hide their crimes at the expense of others. The average pedophile is said to have victimized approximately 117 children.

Unfortunately, it's primarily pedophiles that are being helped by this organization, although the group will give the money to a fund for the ill if they run out of needy child molesters.

The Manchester Union Leader reports that The Organization of Concerned Priests is a registered non-profit group that requests a minimum $1000 donation from all priests.

Most disturbingly, the group's president was quoted as saying, "We could not imagine how we would have coped if we were in their shoes."

Well for starters could I suggest not molesting children, not abusing your power, not manipulating everyone around you, not tarnishing an entire religion, not leading a life of crime . . .

I could go on & on but the basic idea here is that, forgiveness is a basic tenet of the Catholic faith & very few people are completely cut off from the Church entirely. Even those who've been disciplined & removed from service - including pedophiles - are usually eligible for various benefits.

The absolute heinousness of the extent of the crimes of which these men are guilty must be astonishing if they are completely cut off from the Church. The fact that these peers would solicit on their behalf when the world has an endless supply of worthy & needy people is horrifying.

Seriously

noreply@blogger.com (Steph) — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 20:05:00 +0000

My bum hurts me. What can I do? - Anonymous

At the risk of some immature goofball laughing his/her head off at my gullibility, I'm going to assume that this is a real question & answer it.

I can empathize with your situation but there's only one thing I can say: See a doctor. Don't be embarassed, just do it. As healthcare workers, they've seen things that you can't even imagine.

Don't ever feel ashamed or uncomfortable discussing your problems or concerns with a professional. They're trained to help you without judging or blaming & their job is to make you better, as well as educating you to prevent further problems.

If you don't have insurance, you need to go online to locate a free clinic or reduced-fee program in your area. There are a number of such places in our local area.

There are countless things that could be causing your discomfort & you didn't give me a whole lot of information to narrow it down.

For the record, even a very detailed description would likely have received the same response so there's no need to elaborate.

It could be an external problem such as a splinter, insect sting or puncture in the fleshy area which can be very painful (I speak from personal experience here).

It could be an internal problem such as hemorrhoids (swollen veins) or a blockage of some sort.

Another potential culprit of mayhem is your diet. An unhealthy diet can cause all sorts of problems so it may be something as simple as a lack of fiber or insufficient hydration.

Whatever the cause, you won't be able to rectify it (no pun intended, I swear) without professional assistance. Don't delay, see a doctor or nurse & feel better soon.