Everyday

I want to meet the PA DPW Whistleblower

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Sat, 09 Nov 2013 04:55:00 +0000

I am so serious! I think that what is going on with Welfare System is an injustice to many people. I want to agree with the whistle blower especially having gone through the system myself.

Read about it here:

http://www.local21news.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/whistleblower-accuses-dept-public-welfare-fraud-waste-4206.shtml?wap=0#.Un2_f6a9LCQ

http://www.gofundme.com/4startup

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 16:17:00 +0000

So #EBT (Food Stamps) is down and the News has informed us that is not because of the government shut down. Isn't it funny that this "glitch" has happened when our government can't decide to what's right for us?

This happening should leave us with a point to ponder with all that has been going on ... Raising the debt ceiling means nothing to the majority of people who are being effected by this shut down. What is going to happen once a decision is made for the people that effected right now?

Think about it: People have lost jobs, and to top it off; they are left wondering if they will able to feed their children, provide a decent Thanksgiving and then hope that by Christmas everything will started looking hopeful.

~What does our future - Really - look like?

Distant and Ambiguous

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Fri, 16 Aug 2013 19:48:00 +0000

There is one in particular that I'm ready to give-up on. But if I do, I might as well give up on all of them and live a life of conformity. Which is ...

-Not ME

That is just an emotional response that would impede the progress of the dream. But also frightening because I might be wasting my time and also counter-intuitive because I don't feel I am until distance and ambiguity sets in. So you know what, I give up on conveying how it makes me feel. Either that part of my dream will wake up as I have before it's ...

-Not ME

Desiring that achievement.

Thank You, Thank You!

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Fri, 16 Aug 2013 01:27:00 +0000

GoFundMe

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Tue, 13 Aug 2013 17:17:00 +0000

Free Money

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Thu, 01 Aug 2013 14:37:00 +0000

http://visitors2cash.com/ref.php?refId=136804

Re: It Goes Two Ways

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Tue, 30 Jul 2013 16:52:00 +0000

“Some people can tell you everything you shouldn't do…”

“But fail to see their life in plain view.”

I admit I recently have been a culprit of doing this. I just caught myself telling someone about something that they did wrong and had to stop myself. I started complaining about something they weren’t doing and that offended me and made so upset I couldn’t take not addressing the issue with them. But as I was talking and hearing myself talk and started thinking… “WHOA…wait a minute – don’t do that. This could back fire.”

And it really could have because I was complaining about something that they don’t do but I also don’t do myself. So…

-Have I been offensive to someone unwittingly?-

….PROBABLY….

The last few days I’ve been racking my brain thinking that I have really changed these last few years. While doing that I narrowed down the standards that are acceptable to me. And to this person that I was complaining to about the situation that was offensive – I was explaining what I expected to happen. The funny thing is - situation had never happened before and I only knew what I didn’t want it to turn out to be like.

So how can I tell someone that they are doing something wrong?

Because I was so upset with this person and was thinking all types of horrible things – even ending our friendship and forgetting I ever knew the person. Um, Yah … it was that bad. But then I thought about this blog post and how I was complaining about someone else but being on the receiving end of it. I had to come remind myself that I’ve been in that person shoes and I’ve felt how it had so unfair to me. So I apologized to them and now we know that there is something that we need to work on.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all relationship worked like this?

I Want You too

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Sat, 27 Jul 2013 14:53:00 +0000

Anyone that knows me knows that I like to share and this is really awesome. I've made over $3000 since December (12/28/12 to be exact) with this website!

So here's what I'd like you to do.

1. Sign up (and you'll get a surprise). Don't worry it's Free and they give you $'s [Maybe I will too]!

2. Come back to my blog and we'll talk about what you think.

3. Do what the sites says (and you'll get a surprise).

4. Keep doing what the site says (and we'll be a team).

This is what I'm on course to make with half of my earnings: $2,407.20 (So total from Dec. to Aug. I will make over $5000) NOT BAD ... huh?

Some People make It Look so easy!

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Tue, 23 Jul 2013 18:24:00 +0000

CNN just post a picture of the new prince and his mother who is standing up straight!

REALLY - was is that easy that she just rolled out of bed less then 24 hours after having the baby and is posing for the cameras?

YUP! I am truly amazed at what seemed(judging by the picture and not being judgmental)to be so easy for Mrs. Kate!

Anyways Congratulations on the birth of the new prince.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/23/world/europe/uk-royal-baby/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

RE: ~ Last Love Letter

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Sun, 21 Jul 2013 18:52:00 +0000

I had to write something in reference to that Last Love Letter because it addresses so many things going on in my life at that time. I have to laugh a little too because at that time I thought that I would never make it through the hell I was in. So that Winston Churchill quote comes to mind:

"If you're going through hell, keep going."

It was in writing that post I swore I would never love those that hurt me. I also swore I would never be so kind as to give up what I needed for myself in order to provide for someone else. Confirmation to that came when the wise man came along and told me to figure out my priorities and attack them and pursue your own happiness not dependent upon others.... Huh?

I have to say at first it didn't make sense. I had a hard time finding what made me happy that didn't require other people. That's why writing these post became less if a priority for me. I depended on the hope that someone would come along and care about what I was writing. I felt like I could access a person through my words that could cure my pain caused by others. Needless to say it didn't work.

Through all my failed attempts to find someone who cared as much as I do, I just found more pain and more self-center people. I started to feel hopeless and that humanity was lost. Everyone I found to enjoyable turned out to be on an agenda of their own and not one with the thought of others in mind. This included my family (my blood) as well.

I was jobless, and hopeless and I didn't care for much or many. Every corner I turned was a fail, every wall hurt more then the last one I ran into to. The pain I felt on a daily was becoming hard to endure and I was tired of trying. I was hurting bad but I kept walking and had faith that things could be different.

With that said.... Where I have ended up is so much better then I thought it could be. And the love I reference in that Last Love Letter has figured out I'm not dumb and that they will not be my anchor. I'm actually happy and that something I thought was taken from me.

So to my Last Love, My New and 1st Last Love has shown me that I was missing in the first place. And I love him for that and I'm even more in love with me then ever before.

I'm back...

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Sun, 21 Jul 2013 17:53:00 +0000

It's been a long long time since I've visited this page. Hey, a wise man told me:

Figure out your priorities and go after them one by one.

So unfortunate for my readers - blogging wasn't one of my top priorities. But life is taking a turn for the best and I have a lot in my mind. So I will share as I take this journey.

Enjoy as I update you and entertain you with my thoughts and processes.

~ Last Love Letter

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 18:52:00 +0000

Here we go a fuckn again!

People always want to act like they are innocent. But when shit hits the fan and all the bullshit starts sling out …You want to play like you're Deaf, Dumb &
Blind.

…Oh you didn't realize I was paying attention!!

FOOLED YOUR ASS… Bamma!

Let's see how long it takes you to figure this out, because I know you're still lying …

I am so sick of you talking shit and never do shit –

-I mean, how are you going to tell me how to do something; but you not doing it or even been through it…?

-Baffling-

Really …

You should be listening to me and following my lead, so I can help you out of the shit you in,

But NAWHHH…

You want to abuse a blessing. AND really it doesn't make such since. I mean why would you give-up your future for an "easy-button"?

~ Good things come to those who work for GOOD. ~

You can't break under any pressure. You can't choose to do something different because it sounds easier or quicker…

In that moment –YOU- have given-up on yourself.

…and the situation that you are in. All you had to do is follow the rules because they've long been predetermined…

Look – I find it completely disturbing to injure

THE PERSON THAT IS HELPING YOU!!

-if you can't tell, I'm completely angry inside...

And this is about me sanity and MY Personal Happiness

-I can NOT allow YOU to steal my MY Joy.

You get that [it's not yours] it's MY JOY!

…;And Not about your selfish Bullshit!

…So I'm Telling you now…

You don't ever have to worry about me

because I don't need your negative attention (from any direction).

I love ME

And it's TOO bad you Don't

Love Me just as MUCH!!!

See, I cherish every moment I spend with myself and I do believe you should as well because; I fathom my next my next thoughts because I'm fascinated by me ability to come up with some amazing things. And I do believe you should too.

So with that said…

If you don't agree; here's your "Easy-Button". Take your chance – BUT I can't guarantee that I'll wait for you to comprehend.

And if I do desire to be so generous again and you find me …

-I'll still be your friend-

…And you don't have to worry about paying me back, because I'm good and will always be. (Remember, you used your Blessing the wrong way)

~I just wanted you to happy; because that's what you asked…

To get what you want, is a GOD given gift.

~Last Love Letter + Dueces

Who Cares?

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 04:58:00 +0000

I write these things (blogs) when I'm presented with a problem hoping that some one will come along and comment and offer a solution. But really I sit back sometimes and think ... Really Who Cares?

Look at this situation:

A family memeber comes to you one day and says they need help. With what, you ask and they respond with this lomg drawn out story about how they need to pay this bill and they promise to pay you back. So you loan them the money never to see it touch your hands again. It is then that you say to yourself that you will never loan money out anymore.

Here's another:

A friend comes to you with a relationship problem and they say they need to get out. They tell you want's going on and at the end of the story they say they need to borrow some money. Feeling sorry and wanting be a good friend you loan them the money never to see it touch your hands again.

So you've learned two lessons here: 1. You don't loan money to family ... You just give it to them. 2. You don't loan money to friend because you will never see it again.

But here comes the question of who really cares. Say you're in a relationship and it falls completely apart. You have two kids and everything that you have is savagely ripped away from you. You and your kids left with nothing, not even a roof to put over you head.

You run to your family 1st because that is what most people are taught to do. Why: because blood is thicker then water and family comes first. So they let you stay with them until they realize how difficult your situation is and it starts causing problems.

Then you run to a friend and say I need help and they tell they can't help you because they got problems of their own. Baffled, you say wow and think back to when you had problems of your own but you were still there to help.

So now let's say you've been working hard to get back your feet and have had many set backs. You do your best still to be the kind hearted person that you are and when people come to you in trouble you do your best to help in ways you can. The funny thing about doing your best with what you have some people never see it. And that becomes not good enough and put stress on you and the relationships you have but you try so hard not to hold any grudges.

Through this you work harder and then hit with even harder times; car brakes down, child support isn't paid. Because of that you can't pay to get your car fixed and then daycare becomes an issue and with that you lose your job. Leaving you feeling like what else can go wrong and when is the wrong going to stop and become right. After all, you're a good person - you go to school, you were working, you don't hang out; you're just focused on getting back on you're feet.

Now you're at the point were you feel it's your lowest and you can't go any lower without dieing. Energy is zapped and you are literally dragging youself throughout the day. Only because you believe in all your heart that something has to change.

Then you notice it ... Small things everyday getting better. New doors opening and those people that you ran to for help that looked down on you through their nostrils are now on the same level as you ... And they see that you that you are still going. They start reaching out to you trying to tap you the back. But you notice this and give them a moment of your attention and they start with their stories again.

Again not holding any grudges you listen and feel sorry ... But really you think. Really do you care about me. Did you see the real and apparent problems that I am facing and trying to rid of? And you're still holding your hands out to me so you can catch up. I mean C'mon you threw a trash-can at me as I was running after you. I fell and you didn't even see me scrap my knee.

But you being the kind hearted person you are you sit there and contemplate ... If I help again this time ... Will you hold me back again or will you help me like you say you would? Is this a desparate plea that will only hurt me again?

So who really gives a fuck ... People that I thought it would be automatic ... It's turns out they don't.

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It Goes Two Ways

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 13:07:00 +0000

Some people can tell you everything you shouldn't do and point out all the things that you have done wrong. But fail to see their life in plain view. Then when you point out something in their life that is an analogy of what they are saying to you ... They want to get mad and run away.

See I'm the type of person that takes the hits and keep on going. Ok, you tell me what's wrong and I'm listening, not arguing;

Number 1. Because I want to make yourself better, and

Number 2. Because arguing isn't worth wasting my energy.

But I am also they type of person that pays attention and can point out what's wrong with you in comparison to what you are talking about.

So don't get mad; although most do. Then they don't want to talk to me. But look at this: most people in my life know that if you're in distress I'm there; doing whatever it is that is needed.

Which lead to my point: You people can't get mad at me when you know I'm telling you the truth about yourself. You can dish it out to me and expect to me coward out. But I don't and you ran away slinging your anger at me. BUT you came running back because you need something from me... BUT you know what: this time I'm not giving in.

You put me down but you don't spend the time pulling me back up. I do; both when you're down and when I am too. It's a two way street and collisions happens. It takes time to repair damages but both parties at some point have to come together and figure out how to make it happen.

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This Damn Arizona Shooter

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 00:35:00 +0000

Ok I'm not saying this out of ignorance, I'm just sick of hearing about this damn shooter that is taking over our media. I mean C'mon, we have a lot of crazy people in this world that do a lot of crazy things everyday.

Why so much attention on this? Is it because she was a Congress woman. What about the little girl born on 9/11... I think that her death is equally as tragic and the injuried congress woman. But why so much hype?

We all agree the man was crazy and the event was tragic. When will people get past this drama?

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Watching: 17 Kids and Counting

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 12:44:00 +0000

Ok so I'm sitting here watching this show and first off I can't believe this woman had all these kids and is about to have another one. Crazy! Why didn't she just open a daycare. Crazy!

But anyways so they are saying that they are a very conservative family and they don't let the kids watch too much tv. ... So my first thought is: Why The Hell Are They On TV? I wonder do they let the kids watch themselves or will they have to wait until they grow up and see how crazy this shit is?

Look Amish people seem to be very cool, calm and collected people and I respect their values. But this shit right here is crazy!

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Crazy Muthafuckas

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 03:47:00 +0000

We all encounter then everyday and we just brush them off like..."yah, that mofo is crraazzyy!" And then try to avoid them. But some of them, hide it so well and they pull you in; then snap. Leaving saying in your head "fuck, I got to get away quickly and not cause anymore trouble."

Those type of crazy people leave a lasting impression on you life. They leave you wonding how the hell you even got connected with them. Like this one guy I met, he was real sweet and tended to my every need. I said to myself, "man, he's a catch...but something isn't right about him".

At some point, I guess he could tell I was getting a little defensive and did more to draw me in. Then one day it all came out and I was like, "Oh...fuccck".

Let me tell you, this creep had me looking over my shoulder like Jason was coming after me. He was a total nightmare. I think what made him go even more psycho is that I would tell him he was crazy... Lol. But I guess that was the craziness in me(I'm always up for a challenge...but not this one).

He had these mood swings. One minute he was happy, next minute was cussing me out calling all kinds of names. Then he'd tell he love me. And I was like...

Whooeee, whoooee, slow down ...

You really got some serious issues here. You need to go talk to someone about this... And I left him alone.

But he didnt leave me alone... Texting, calling, texting calling. Dude stop! You are really doing some crazy shit here. Think about it... Damn!

Lesson here: go off your 1st thoughts. Question it and question it and if the answers don't match and leaves you with the next Scooby Doo mystery.... RUN!

The next crazy set of mofos make me laugh because I wonder why people go to such lenghts ot get someones attention. You know those online relationships people have but they never get to see the person. Not even a picture and they never get to hear the persons vioce. But yet they fall in love and become committed to something that they have never seen, heard or felt...

Crazy

I mean c'mon how is that even possible. What is the self image issue that you have that you feel it's ok to have an unseen love? I know I can't be the only person that thinks there is something wrong with that.

Lesson here: learn how to love yourself. Then you won't feel so needy.

I know some people that are so afraid of the crazy people in thier lives that they plot and plan everyday to get away from them. And I think that it's so sad they they are going though the things that they do. Me personal, I have had my run-in's with many crazy people. Some real close to me and others just happenings. But those that were close to me now understand, I'm not taking their crazy shit any more.

And I wish that more people in these types of situations would just stand up to the Bullshit and walk out. Stand up and say not another day will I let these crazy muthafuckas fuck with me.

Look I'm not trying to put any one down but you only allow yourself to have what you want. So if a crazy muthafucka is good enough for you... I hope all your dreams come true. Ha!

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Lesson Learned

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 15:13:00 +0000

I put you in this place in my heart so long ago. Good or bad, happy or sad; I said I'd be there. But as son as it got bad we both ran away. And the saddest part is that we only had to hold on and remember how good it felt to be together.

So I suppose a "do-over" is needed. And that the past be the past and us that as reference of what not to do again. I know over all, you were great. We were great and it felt good.

Let's see what heights we can reach and what lows we can defeat. But most of all let's do it together. And fuck what everyone got to say.

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You're "Bittersweet"

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 14:09:00 +0000

Those Letter[s] to the One I Love are like "The Tell-Tale Heart". My mind just can't let you go. I know I wrote the final chapater...but is there a second version.

Was I mad to let you go, or to let you in once again. Either way, I miss you so bad. Ever since that last day we spoke, everyday, every single day, in my mind you were there. But I just wiped that memory cloud away and went on like nothing was unusual.

Then when, the other day I heard your sweet voice on the phone; and this heart of mine said it has been yours for so long, even those days while I gone. I can't help but to say I Love You, because I still do. I still very much do.

I Love You, forever and alway, I do.

Remember these....Pinky Swear: (child-hood memeories) [LOL,smiley face], in the basement with that black tuxedo (you tried on)...that's when I fell in Love with you.

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I Know a Certain Day is Coming

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 23:37:00 +0000

I know many people will ignore this because really it has nothing to do with them. But even the people it does have somthing to do with; will ignore it as well. Just like everything else that comes out my mouth.

I tell you now that I know a day is coming that we will all dread. And it is coming sooner then we thinking.

It is time to let go and forgive all our disagreements and live in the moment because if we don't, soon there will be no more time to think about what was said wrong.

Refer back to my blog titled "Go Ahead and Kill Yourself".

**Get Over it and forgive**

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Just the way I See it...

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 23:33:00 +0000

Don't obsess yourself with other peoples talents. Over time you will lose sight of yourself and miss out on your destiny. When you do wake from the dream of living life as someone else, you will see the nightmare of letting your own life pass by.

Probably when that happens you'll end up blaming your problems on someone else as well. Now is that any way to live your life... stuck thinking about someone else?

You know in that movie "The Sixth Sence" the little boys says...everywhere a see dead people. Well everywhere I see stuck people. People running around in circles and met wit the same problem they have been trying to run from. Just face it and straighten out your path so you can advance past all the bull shit....

I was told last night that I was a radical, not afraid to speak my mind and tell people what I think or the way I feel. I looked at the person and ask if that was a problem... I dont think so. Matter of fact I think we need more people in this world like me. And not just people that go with the trend of things.

Which brings me to the major point... live your life and don't take things that others think about so seriously. I bet as soon as you realize what you like and think about your life the way you want to see it, your life will turn around. Worry will be lifed and light shine down on you.

So stop looking for things to do because someone else would do it. Do something because it's what you would like to. And fuck what everyone else has to say. You weren't put on this earth to please any one but yourself.

That's just the way I see it...do with it what you want. Just remember your actions are yours, no one else. Therefore you can't blame any one for the reaction but yourself...and no one can make you feel good but you.

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Bringing It to an End

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 03:33:00 +0000

Ha haa, in just a few hours it will be 2011. Wow! I'm so ready for this. I have so many thing waiting for me in the new year I can't wait to get started.

I got so far past the things that have happened in the past and I refuse to let it take over my future. I know a few people have already cashed in on me when I plead with them to hold on. Well I'm telling you now you should have held on.

Lil'mamma is on her way and I would have shared it with you. Therefore the one thing that you didn't learn about me is that I am not a selfish person.

With that said, that was most of my problem in the past... I gave and I gave 'til I had nothing else to give and looking for help and the same hand-out that I gave others... Never got it form those whom I had faith
But didn't have faith in me.

So when you see me in the dream I so dearly told you about and you realize you could have been standing next to me or known that you could have been close to me. But you know what...Forget about me. Turn your head in disbelife and say damn!

O and by the way I forgive you ... and Happy New Year.

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Wack

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 04:03:00 +0000

In the search of where I want to be everyday, I found myself making list of the Pros and Cons of my daily contacts over the past few years. Some were easy to get rid of but most took some time and I felt it was necessary in order to move freely into this new year that is upon us.

I came across this one contact that seemed to be in my best intrest, so I approached them. We talked good for days and hours on each of those events. Then.... all the sudden, slience...

So I say "what's the problem" and they respond with distance between us. So I'm like, that can all be worked out in due time, lets work on that basics that most seem to forget about and make this strong and everlasting....because I'm willing if you are. They say ok.

We talk good, but once again, slience enters between us (for days) and I say once again "what's the problem" in addition to "I thought we were getting somewhere"? They say, "I'm trying to enjoy my day off"....

OK... wow. I didn't mean to bother you on your day off. I didn't think I fell into the same list as your "wack ass" job. I will leave you alone.

My Thoughts:
I'm not saying anything extra, but just showing you how it is. As I said before I thought it was understood that we were going to work on something more for us. But I guess not and I well move on because it is very apparent that you don't want me the same way I want you. Plus we are both grown and I'm a big girl. And I'm beautiful and I chose you... you didn't pick me... ahhh. I'm good.

Moving on...

I think there is one more person a need to cross off this list but I just have to wait and see.... but you know one thing this list has shown me is that it so amazing how people only think of themselves.

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Merry Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 19:46:00 +0000

Let's not forget the real reason why we celebrate this day. It's not for the gift other bring us, but the birth of our God! With everything that goes on in our life before we even reach this day, it so easy to lose focus and get caught up on the wrong things.

Take this Christmas Eve to reflect to the the days prior to this and realize the blessings that here today. They are there you just have to acknowledge them.

Merry Christmas :)

Completing 2010

noreply@blogger.com (K.C Darling) — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 15:19:00 +0000

I don't know about many of you but it feels like this year went by quick! It's amazing the things that many of us have lived though this year. But let's give ourselves a pat on the back because we MADE IT! The end of the year is near and the most stressful portion of it is all most over. Yes, I am talking about Christmas.

I am a public service worker and I have had the pleasure of talking to many people of the past year. Though these conversations I have realized that many people of all colors and values have had it rough this year. So I wanted to take this time to focus on that fact that it's over. Let's let our trouble of this year stay in 2010 and visualize the blessing of the new year coming.

One thing that we seem to forget as get older is how to get back up. You fall, you get back up, brush yourself off and get back to what you are doing. Simple lesson of life we just magically forget. Why is that?

Maybe we focus too much on what made us fall. Or maybe we fall a little harder then any other time and we have a longer recovery time then before. But what is it in those times that keeps us from regaining our position?

Nothing but yourself.

So here and now, get over it and move on. If it was meant for us to look back, we would know exactly what our asses look like. But we face forward in order to see the beauty before us. 2010 is over, so let's continue to move forward.

Think eggs, think nightmares.