Taciturn Reflections

The journey back home…….

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 18:15:00 +0000

It was 28 years since she had traveled back home……..

28 years since she had last smelt the fragrance of her home soil, 28 years since she had last met her family, 28 years since she was held close by her mother, ……..28 years spent in solitude. For the whole time, she was itching to get back to her home ground. All those years spent in anticipation of that one news disappeared when she finally got the news that she would be making the trip of her dreams very soon – that of returning to her homeland.

It was all the more irritating that she had to change her base every 4 years. Packing, moving, settling in & adjusting to her new environment every 4 years though exciting, was definitely a herculean task. She had been the darling of every team that she had belonged to. She was treated like a princess. But nothing……………. nothing could substitute the feeling of being held by her home team. Although she enjoyed every bit of her overseas stay, of being a part of a new team every 4 years, they very thought of heading back home had filled her with such exhilaration & excitement that she couldn't contain it any longer.

She had received the news of her journey 4 years back, but only since a year back it had materialized and happened. As each day passed, her restlessness towards small situations grew. And during the ending 2 months there were many such occasions where she felt her journey would never happen. But she trusted herself and more than that she trusted 'her team'.

But today, 2^nd April 2011, when Dhoni hit the final six, her dream of getting back to her home land was finally fulfilled. All those years of wait & anticipation was washed away when she was finally rested in the hands of her home team. She was ecstatic as she was lifted by the 'Men in Blue' and she literally cried tears of joy when she was cradled like a baby by the L'il Maestro himself. Her joy knew no bounds………………….. she was finally back to where she longed & belonged………….. in the arms of her team – The Indian Cricket team.

** In the words of the World Cup Trophy.

PS: 2011, there was no other team, other than the Indian Cricket team who deserved the World Cup. Sachin: I'm glad that Dhoni's men were a part in materializing your dream of bringing the World Cup home.

In the words of Virat Kohli: Sachin has lifted the burden of Indian Cricket for the past 21 years, Its time the team lifted him on their shoulder!

Technology Vs Human brain comprehending ability - 2

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 05:52:00 +0000

On the advice of a colleague and to show that I'm not Ms. Perfect as perceived by the world around me, the below mentioned situation shows off my goofiness to an extent that it surpasses the minimum threshold set by the Guinness book of world records!

7 months back when I was recruited into my current organization, it had been 2 years since my previous stint at the IT industry. So needless to say, my familiarity with technology was a big zilch! I had to re-build on whatever basics I had picked up at my previous organization. So my goofiness was at its all time high. (I have been very famous for my goofiness right through my life. I've built a minimum threshold level among friends with which they compare other goofiness and so far nobody has been able to beat my record on it! :p) Just so that I do not screw up my first impression at the workplace, I had to curb on my goofiness and it was becoming very difficult for me to control it.

The first week was when I got familiar with the place, with people around me, people in my team (Training), and people from HR. It was also the time when I got my computer connection, got my outlook configured and got access to the printer. I was asked to give a test print of a page by the person from the Helpdesk to check on the access. Being new to the team, I dint know where the printer was located. Now this is where my goofiness acted up and I became the laughing stock of the team. I being my regular pompous self was too snobbish to ask my team mates where it was located. So I thought of finding it out on my own. Finally after searching nearby, I found something that looked like a printer. I gave a test print and when to collect it, but I couldn't find it in the printer. So I gave another one just to be sure and again went to collect it. Yet again I dint find it. Now I was really confused! Coz the person from helpdesk was saying that my computer was connected to the printer, but I was not finding any prints coming out from the printer. So I let go of my snobbish attitude and finally asked a colleague where the printer was located. She counter questioned me on where I was trying to retrieve my print outs. I pointed out to her on what I thought was the printer. She was quite for some time with a big grin on her face. She couldn't control anymore and she burst out laughing. Finally when she was able control on her laughter, she pointed out to what I thought was the printer and told that it wasn't a printer, but actually was a 'Scanner'! I went red in the face and didn't know what to reply. I was silent for a few minutes and then I too joined her in laughing at my goofiness.

That situation not just broke the ice, but made me famous for my 'goofy' attitude at work! :)

I have a poster on my desk that reads: Warning! I have an attitude and know how to use it! People, who know me quite well by now, know that the word 'goofy' needs to be added in the sentence. So it should read as: Warning! I have a 'goofy' attitude and know how to use it!

Statutory Warning: This incident may or may not depict my IQ level. You can take a call on it. I'm not giving any hints! :)

Technology Vs Human Brain’s comprehending ability

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 11:17:00 +0000

The incident I'm going to be narrating is a classic example of how technology diminishes the comprehending ability of human brains.

We have a college intern who recently joined our team to do a project as a part of her course requirement. First look of her – She's smart. She carries herself well, is able to communicate well, is able to understand when we explain the concepts to her and at the end of the day delivers what is needed of her.

Being in HR, most of our job gets done over MS Excel. So obviously anybody who joins us would be expected to have a decent knowledge of it. This intern (let's call her V) was given a large chunk of data (obviously in Excel) and was asked to make some sort of sense from it. (Poor gal!) She was shuttling between multiple excel files simultaneously. She was lost amidst the huge chunk of data given to her and the multiple excel files. She looked like a walking zombie who needed a serious break from the computer table. After some time there was a groan of frustration from her end. When enquired by a colleague, she said that she had put in all the data required into the Excel sheet, but now all of a sudden the keyboard was not working and she couldn't work any further. Another colleague tried to pitch in & help her. Both of them tried innumerable things checked all the connections. Everything was working fine, but still her keyboard was not working.

Now I being a true Libran, I believe in bringing harmony at my work place, I thought I could pitch-in with my indigenous brains and find a solution to this problem. So I opened a word file and keyed in some random alphabets and it worked fine. When I showed the same to Miss V, she was kinda confused. How could it work in a word file & not in an excel file??? So I asked her to open the particular excel file in which she was finding it difficult to type. When I saw the file, I couldn't control my laughter. I burst out laughing. (I'm famous for being extremely loud on the floor)

Actually she had taken a screen-shot of the excel file and had copy-pasted the image in an outlook file. Now a person who is a little tech –savvy would have understood by now that, one cannot type on an image. Poor gal, she had been staring at the excel files for such a long time that she was not able to differentiate between an actual excel file and the screen shot image of it!

Statutory warning: This incident does not depict the IQ level of Miss V. Rather it depicts on what prolonged usage of MS Excel can do to a person's comprehending skills!. She is a fellow blogger like me and u can find her blog here

3 days - 3 burns

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 08:58:00 +0000

This has just been the 3^rd day since my mom's been out and I already have 3 burns on my skin.

The day my mom told me that she would be off to a 15 day yoga camp, I was ecstatic, obviously after feeling sad that I wouldn't be seeing her for the next 15 days. I was ecstatic for the very fact that I would be the king ( err….. more like the queen, but who cares!) of my world …….. my home and most importantly the kitchen. I was very enthusiastic on the verity that I could do anything I wish, experiment new dishes and my poor dad would have to bear the brunt of my cooking!

I must tell u here that I'm an absolute spoilt brat at home. I would never dare to step anywhere remotely close to the kitchen when my mum's around. My mom's tried innumerable excuses on trying to get me interested in 'horror' termed as cooking and I've happily stayed away from it. In spite of comparison with friends, cousins and others of the same age or much below my age, it has not affected my happy-go-lucky character on skipping from entering the kitchen every time I pass through it. And just for that, she was paranoid of leaving my dad in my clutches, lest he be left starved!

So this time when she made the announcement, I decided that come what may I will enter the lion's den and deal with the monster termed 'cooking'. So I thought I'll begin with the basics:

Day 1 – I tried boiling water and I got burnt

Day 2 – I tried boiling milk and I got yet another burn.

But still my interest towards mastering cooking didn't die. I wanted to conquer the monster!

Day 3 – I tried heating oil and I got another burn

ohh what the hell! Gimme me the directory, what's the number of Pizza hut???

Whoever said cooking is a woman's art?

The March of Daffodils

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 03:51:00 +0000

The month of March is here. It's the month of colours (Holi), the month of Woman's day and how can I forget……. It's the month of exams.

I remember slogging my *** off in school during the month of March. Coz that was the month when I finally woke up, realized the enormous amount of lessons I had to study, panic on whether I would be able to finish them before the exams begun, set into an absolutely biologically impossible rhythm trying to finish off the enormous portions in an absolutely limited time frame and finally bow down to the powers of almighty to have me scrap through the exams with a decent percentage which would give me the courage to stand before my teachers & parents when I went to collect my marks card.

High School was particularly difficult for me for the simple reason that I choose to have my first language as English when compared to the horror of having to choose Sanskrit. I prefer to be bred as a decent English lady than being bred as a Sanskrit pundit wherein I wouldn't be using the language for any other reason than to get good grades during the 3 years of my high school.

So obviously the language of English was accompanied by its entire clan of phonetics, sentence formation, correct usage of words and dissecting the sentences into simple & complex sentences. Not to mention that the Subject itself was split up into Literature, grammar & poetry. How did I manage to get through those 3 years of absolute drudgery??? I still wonder about it sometimes!

As much as I hated doing all the boring work in the subject, what particularly interested me was the part of poetry. I loved 'The Daffodils' by William Wordsworth.

I WANDER'D lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

The poem is written so beautifully that each time I read it I went into a trace-like state where I could feel the summer breeze, smell the rich aroma of the woods, and feel myself drifting through a meadow filled with golden daffodils.

Wordsworth's Daffodils has been my favorite poem ever since. And each time I read it, it recreates the magic for me.

Amazing Amazon Kindle

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 05:24:00 +0000

I've been an avid reader of books ever since I can remember. Sometimes I wonder if I was born with a book in my hand. I lovvvvvvvveeeee reading. Given a choice between reading & doing something, I would pick the choice of reading. And my interest in books varies like my temperament. I can move between an Archie's comic book and an Ayn Rand Fountainhead with the greatest of ease. And somehow the thought of borrowing books and reading never appealed to me. So needless to say, every month there would be a huge chuck of my salary that used to be spent on buying books and reading them. Looking at the huge collections of books I have, I've been called as a 'Book Library' among my friends coz they would borrow books from me for reading. Very often my mom would joke that the only dowry that I would be carrying to my hubby's place after marriage would be my huge collection of books.

My parents got tired of telling me not to buy books. The more they told me this statement, the more I was tempted to buy books and read. It was like a never ending saga of my life.

This was until, my father hit on a jackpot idea and man what an idea it was! When he got to know that one of my cousin's was traveling abroad, he ordered an Amazon Kindle for me to be gifted to be as a surprise birthday present. For all the naïve readers of this blog Amazon kindle is an e-book reader. Though it was a late to get it as a birthday present (my birthday is in October and I got this in the following February) I was obviously ecstatic when I got it. It's been my constant companion, and just like a much sought after thriller book, I can't keep this down.

Between then to now, I'm become absolutely crazy of the Kindle. It carry it with me when am traveling to office every day, It's by my bed side during the night and during weekends it's like my best buddy.

I've been absolutely blown away by the impact this particular technology has over my life. I'm never loved technology more than now! :)

Cool Breeze!

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 11:56:00 +0000

It’s really strange how a human brain can get accustomed to something to such an extent that you actually look forward to it happening every day and when it doesn’t happen the absence of it leaves a void in your life.

A smile as began my day at work, a casual chat over lunch, the loud laughter when somebody cracked a joke and the best of all……. being his secret Santa during Christmas at office.

The last 6 months at my current work place has been a smooth ride because of the first interaction I had with you. Thanks for being a part of my learning process. My only crib is that I dint interact with you much more & learn from you. I surely do hope that I get this opportunity sometime in the near future!

Full Circle

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 06:21:00 +0000

It's strange how life turns around when you are least expecting it.

2008 - 2010 has been extremely taxing on me, in terms of personal life, relationships, professional life and in terms of maintaining my sanity as a person, as an individual. I always had this thoughts that I was bound with shackles which was making it very difficult for me to think, strategize and come out with a solution. It was like I was on the brink of insanity and many of my previous posts have reflected this.

The last 2 years, I've realized emotions which I've never expected, experienced frustration at its peak, desperation clawing in me and depression killing me from inside. But if there's something that I must be proud about in these 2 years, it is the ability of having grown as a person internally and individually. The ability of having to withstand negative emotions without reacting to it. The ability of being indifferent towards people and towards circumstances which I no longer cared about. The ability of controlling my anger towards people and towards circumstances.

Just when I had given up hopes of a brighter tomorrow, the sun shone with its glorious rays encapsulating me with a warm glow of contentment from within.

Delays are not denials - I had read this as somebody's status message on gtalk a couple of days ago. When i had read the message, I was filled with rage. Because for me, delays have always turned out to be denials.

But then I also do believe in the adage of a silver lining for every dark cloud. And Trust me; I believe this now more than ever.

It's strange how life turns a full circle when you are least expecting it.

2000 – 2010, 18- 28 a decade well lived!

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 10:38:00 +0000

I was just wondering that 2010 as a year went by pretty easily, hassle free and quite quickly too. This was until; the realization hit me that it wasn’t just a year but an entire decade that ended, a decade in which I started with 18 and ended on 28. And boy, what a decade it was!

This decade was when I overcame the initial hurdles in my education, finished by graduation, was the first MBA in my extended family, got my first job, hated my first manager, managed to hit an all time low patch coinciding with the downturn of the economy and managed to land a 2nd job that I currently love doing.

This is also a decade where new friendships were forged, bonds were strengthened, a decade went by in studies and perfecting skills I didn't know existed in me.

If somebody asked me what was the best moment in this decade, then I would have to probably say the journey of having to grow from being a tom-boy to a woman……. The journey of having to emerge as a butterfly from a caterpillar. And just like a caterpillar, I had to weave a cocoon around me, contemplated on my personality, what is happening around me, what is right and what’s not and how to emerge as a better person. I’ve not been completely successful, because change is a part of life and it’s better if it isn’t constant.

Looking forward to 2011 being a fruitful learning journey personally & professionally.

Happy 2011! :)

HUM TUM

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 10:29:00 +0000

He comes running up the stairs, panting.

Hum: Which paper today?
Tum: Eeeks! You don't even know the paper???
Hum: (Grins!) What difference does it make? I know you'll help me out anyway!
Tum: Get lost! I won't help you in your exams. I don't cheat
Hum: That's what you said during last exams also, but in the end you helped me out!
Tum: That was because you said you would flunk if I dint help you out!
Hum: I did flunk anyway (grins wider!)
Tum: Fine! In that case I will not tell you which paper it is today
Hum: No problem I'll ask Shwetha
Tum: (Fuming!)Ohhhh! So you just need an excuse to talk to HER. Then why did u ask me in the first place?
Hum: (Grins!) Now that you know my intentions, help me in getting a date with her
Tum: You must be crazy! I don't know what you see in her anyways. She's just a little pretty looking but she has no brains
Hum: Who said girls had brains anyways??? (Laughs!)
Tum: You men are always so insensitive (Fuming!)
Hum: Why should it bother you anyways? When I ask you out, you never come with me. So I thought I'll try Shewtha.
Tum: Eeeks! All you men are the same. If not one then the other!
Hum: Aaj Puja kal koi duja! That's my philosophy of life!
Tum: Get lost! I will never ever talk to you about this.
Hum: Ok forget all this; tell me which paper is it today?
Tum: I just told you I won't talk to you again and you're asking me this question?
Hum: You said you won't talk to me on that topic, but I'm asking about today's paper
Tum: Ufff! (Mutters to self) He'll keep bugging me until I tell him so its better I tell!
It's Mathematics
Hum: Oh ok!
Ok gimme a pen to write!
Tum: You haven't even bought your own pen??? (Rolls her eyes) I hope you at least remembered to take bath???
Hum: (Grins wider!)
Tum: Yuck! I don't know why I even make an attempt to ask you about it! (Slams the pen into his hands)
Hum: I hope this writes??!
Tum: Of course it writes! It happens to be my lucky pen!
Hum: Just because it's lucky, it doesn't mean that it would write
Tum: (Snatches back the pen!) Fine then get you own pen
Hum: Ufff! You girls get angry for all small things! I was just kidding yaar!
Tum: And you guys are always so irresponsible…… don't know which paper it is today, don't carry a pen, don't take bath……. I don't even want to attempt asking you the next question.

And the battle between the sexes continue………………………………..

Surabhi's back!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Thu, 13 May 2010 07:01:00 +0000

I had written a blog entry about this spectacular drama team from Andra sometime back. They are back at Ranga Shankara, thanks to the Infosys foundation.

This time they've come with 2 new dramas: Bala Nagamma and Sri Krishna Leelalu and a repeat of the block buster Maya Bazaar. I managed to catch their performance last time and its pure magic........... totally beyond imagination for a theatre performance. The special effects used on stage would even put "the Matrix" team to shame.

The plays are in Telugu but that shouldn't stop the others from admiring the work of art. Tickets are pretty cheap and come at 100Rs per ticket.

This is one performance that I wouldn't dare to miss no matter what happens................... :)

The hope of a brighter tomorrow

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Mon, 10 May 2010 04:50:00 +0000

* Dedicated to every student who has failed in the board exams but has had the spirit to fight back and emerge as a winner!

She sat on the bed with the bottle in her hand, tears flowing down her cheeks. She dint remember for how long she was crying. She didn’t even attempt to stop the tears from flowing or to wipe them from her cheeks.

Her bedroom was a total mess. There were papers, clothes and other personal articles strewn everywhere. Her question paper was lying in tatters on the floor. She was still trying to come out of the shock of what happened. How could she do something so stupid like this?

Sanjana was in her 12^th standard. She had taken Science as her specialization. Although she was handling all her subjects well she faced difficulty with Physics. So she had been extremely careful when she was preparing of her board exams. She had paid particular attention in studying the subject, referring previous year’s papers, textbooks and notes. She had made sure she had prepared well.

But as she sat down in the exams hall she started feeling nervous. When the exam paper was handed over to her, she had one look at it and she started sweating nervously. She felt a little faint and completely blanked out. It was then she realized what would be in store for her. Tears started to well up in her eyes. She knew she would never pass in the exam. In spite of it, she wrote what she knew. But that was not what she wanted or expected out of herself.

As she came out of the hall, she dint stop to meet her friends or to discuss the paper. She wanted to be left alone. She roamed around the streets. She dint want to go home and face her parents. She dint have the guts to disappoint them. She dint know for how long she was roaming. It was only when it became dark, did she realize that she was late.

Nobody was there when she reached home. She was relieved. She dint have the guts to face her parents for what had happened. She knew what she must do. She went to the bathroom and got the bottle out. She took it to her room and locked the door.

She remembered what had happened in the exam hall and tears started flowing down her cheeks. She dint have the guts to tell her parents that she had disappointed them and messed up with her future. She had the bottle of rat poison in her hands. Just as she was about to gulp it down, she heard the calling bell ring. Although she was in no mood to talk to anybody, she dint know what overcame her and she answered the door.

Answering the door made a world of difference to her life. It was her best friend who had come just to say that she was missing her. Sanjana couldn’t handle it anymore and broke down before her friend. On questioning she explained everything to her friend. Her friend consoled her and gave her hope of a brighter tomorrow. She said that it was not the end of the world. And no matter what happened, people would always love her for what she is.

That conversation with her friends gave new hopes to Sanjana. She felt she had got a new pair of wings to soar up in the sky and reach up to her dreams. She was determined to approach her life in a positive way. Her friend guaranteed to support her and stand by her in all her endeavors. Those words of assurance offered a hope for a brighter tomorrow for Sanjana after which there was no looking back for her.

(PS: Exaggerated; but taken from life)

Board exams are very pressurizing situations given the competition now a days. What one must be able to realize is failure is not the end. It’s just the addition of another step towards your success. Children may not be able to realize it then. But if they have the support of family and friends no failure would be difficult for them to face.

I was lucky enough to have the support of my uncle (NRVK), my cousin (SVR) and my biology sir (MRF) to support me especially during the tough times. These are some people whose support can never be forgotten. It definitely made a world of a difference to me.

See if you can do the same to somebody else. Who knows? Like Sanjana’s friend you may pull them back from committing suicide and give them hope of a brighter tomorrow.

Justice after all............

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Mon, 03 May 2010 11:11:00 +0000

After almost a year, she had stepped out of the house today. It was a year and it almost seemed like yesterday.

Pranav had been extremely busy with his new business venture of late and had taken extra strain and stress on himself. She had complained to him often about it but he just wouldn’t stop. He was extremely passionate about his business venture. She would often find him logged on to his computer late at night designing proposals for clients. And when there was a long weekend ahead for them, it seemed like a welcome break for her and Pranav to catch up. Pranav was still trying to master the art of driving, but he had coaxed her into taking their car for their weekend get away. It was their first out of town drive in their brand new car. Those 3 days were blissfully spent in a wonderful resort. Having their daughter with them was like an added bonus. She got more time to spend with Pranav and she was very happy about it.

The drive back was a little strenuous for Pranav because it had started to drizzle lightly and they had left right after a heavy lunch. She had warned Pranav to be a bit cautious while driving and he was driving slowly as well. But the heavy lunch took a toll on Pranav and his eyes closed for a fraction of a second at the steering wheel. Unknowingly he stepped on the accelerator and the car steered out of control. She tried to take control of the steering wheel but the impact was such that she was thrown out of the car. The car steered to the opposite side of the road and was smashed into pieces by a passing lorry right before her eyes. She went into a state of shock. The wailing sirens of the ambulance, police jeep, visit to the police station, hospital mortuary nothing was registered in her mind. All she could remember was her daughter’s face through the window yelling out at her.

She tried invariably to get that thought out of her mind. She shut herself completely from the outside world. She stopped taking calls from her well wishers, friends, and relatives. She had even come to the extent of ignoring calls from her own parents. She was hurt and no words anybody could say would lessen the deep scare that was left on her heart a year ago. She even changed her city because she dint want people dropping in to her house and sympathizing with her. Yet she was not able to bear the grief and pain that came from within. She was in a state of depression. She had thoughts insider her head which she couldn’t share with anybody. The anguish she had felt in the last few months was something which she couldn’t explain but they tore her heart from within.

With great difficulty she had got dressed that day and stepped out of the house to buy groceries. The strong sunlight pricked her eyes as she has spent the last few months in darkness. As she was walking back from the nearby market, she passed a compound with high walls. She could hear children yelling from inside and it reminded her of her daughter. She tried to stop the tears that were welling up inside her eyes. She heard children enjoying. She heard them giggling and laughing, but there was one distinct giggle which stood out for the rest. She couldn’t help from being drawn towards the gate. As she stepped inside, she saw her………………She had the same beautiful light brown eyes, the same smile and the same dimple like her daughter! She was taken completely by surprise by such a sight! She dint know for how much time she had stood there staring at the girl, seeing her giggle, laugh and play with her friends. She wanted to hug the child and kiss her. She tried calling out to the girl, but the girl did not hear it amidst all the din. She reached out to the child a tried speaking to her, but the girl just gestured something. She then saw the board hanging above “School for Deaf and Dumb”

That moment was a new awakening for her. All those months spent in feeling of guilt of not having saved her daughter vanished as a new horizon opened up before her. She felt her calling and decided that she would enroll in the school as a teacher. As soon as she made this decision, it started to rain. It was like God giving his approval for the decision she had made. She was not ecstatic with the decision she had made, but she did feel a strange sense of contentment and happiness within her. It was like she had breathed for the first time in her life. She saw the world through new eyes.

As she walked back to her house, she waited for the dawn to bring a new beginning in her life, a new start, a new chapter.

Nature's fury

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 09:53:00 +0000

It was raining heavily and the atmosphere outside was grey, just like how he was feeling. He had just heard the words that he had dreaded the most. The last 12 hours had turned his world upside - down. He was soaked with perspiration with all the running about he had done. He did not even have the time to change his clothes before he rushed his wife to hospital.

Looking back he realized it was not even 24 hours since he had seen her radiant with happiness. It was their first wedding anniversary and like any typical husband who was madly in love with his wife he wanted to do something very special for her. He had racked his brains for the last 2 months planning out every single detail for their special day. He had called up her friends at odd hours asking for help from their end, in turn being cursed for having disturbed them. He had planned the most special day for her and she had absolutely loved being pampered from the beginning of their special day.

When at end he had taken her to that special dinner which he had planned along the sea shore beneath the moon light she had tiny tears of happiness in her eyes. She was completely smitten by the love he had showered on her. They had enjoyed their dinner in each other’s company talking about sweet nothing’s and about their journey so far. After their dinner he had insisted that they take a walk on the beach, holding each other’s hands. It was on this walk that she had felt uneasy with a sudden shot of pain in her head. She had ignored it as an onset of migraine. She dint want to miss this beautiful moment so she dint bother to inform him about it. But all of a sudden she felt weak and felt his grip slipping away from her hands and she fainted.

He panicked and did not know what to do. He tried sprinkling a few drops of water on her face to revive her from her unconsciousness but it was of no use. The call to the hospital, the blare of approaching ambulance siren, taking her to the hospital in the ambulance all happened in a daze. Even before he regained his composure, the doctor had stabbed him in his heart by revealing that his wife had brain tumor and just had a few hours to live.

He dint know what to do. He dint know whom to call and whom not to. He had no clue how those last few hours passed by. When he received the news about her death, it felt like the world around him had crashed and crumbled into pieces.

Being an orphan nobody had taught him how to pray. He dint know how to fold his hands and stand before the almighty. He dint know how to humble himself before god.

But that day as he walked out of the hospital he was a defeated man! He dropped down on his knees and cried. As the rain lashed out its fury on the human form, he completely surrendered himself into the hands of god and cried for her.

Games people play

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 07:31:00 +0000

She had seen him through the fence that was separating the play area from the common area.

She could clearly remember he was wearing a white shirt and blue jeans. He was about 25 years old. He had carried a pink teddy bear in his hands. The moment she had set her eyes on it, she had decided that she wanted it. It was one of the most beautiful one that she had ever seen. She had dragged her father along with her, running behind that guy just to make sure that she could have the teddy bear, take it home and play with it, show it around to her friends and make them feel jealous.

She had run behind him all around the fun fair. She wanted to hug the teddy bear just once and keep it next to her when she slept. She had finally seen him keep the teddy bear on a bench in a park. But the park was filled with children of all ages. She began to panic that somebody would reach the teddy bear before she did. She let go of her dad’s hands and ran as fast as her tiny legs could take her. She reached the bench and even before she could lay her hands on the teddy bear, she heard a powerful noise, heard her father calling out her name and saw bright colors around her before she closed her eyes.

When she opened her eyes, she saw her father kneeling before something and crying. But why was he crying when she was right next to him, speaking to him, telling him that she was alright. She tried touching him to tell him to take her home to her mommy and her small brother whom she adored. She realized that her hands just passed through and couldn’t touch him.

She went forward and then she saw …………………………………………..her body in tatters. Her father was hugging it and crying. Tiny drops of tears started dropping from her eyes. She dint want to die. She dint deserve to die.

She was to celebrate her 6^th birthday that weekend. She has everything planned out for her birthday party. She wanted to tell her father that she was ready to cancel all her celebrations if he could take her home just once. She wanted to go home once to her mom. She wanted to keep her head on mommy’s lap and sleep. She wanted her father to throw her up high in the air so the she could squeal with laughter. She wanted to run around the house playing with her kid brother. She wanted to hug grandma and listen to her stories. She realized all that would never be possible. She would have to leave her family and her home to go to a far of place.

She like millions other dint deserve to die, but were innocent victims of terrorism and jehad. When will we realize that war and terrorism just causes hatred among people? Its love & universal brotherhood that would end all our problems.

Colours.....

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 07:11:00 +0000

I wish I had more colours with me

All I have is black and shades of grey

I would have painted the most beautiful picture

Allowing my thoughts to stray

I would have depicted love through a mother’s eyes,

Aloneness through a lover’s byes

Deceit through a fiend’s vice

And pain through a baby’s cries

But you know that I would fill the world with rainbows

Taking the glory away from you

This is why you have given me just No’s

Every time I ask a favor of you

But there would be a time, when you realize what I am

For I know you would walk me through the sands of time

*Pardon my immaturity at this amateur attempt of poetry. Hope to improve with time! :)

It hurts............. but do 'You' realise that it does???

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 05:38:00 +0000

Given the kind of human beings we are, one of the things that would hurt us the most is Differentiation!

Having known that do we stop others from doing it to us? No! Do we stop ourselves from doing it to others? No! Yet, if there's something that hurts us the maximum its differentiation! And its probably the most widely used tool too - the Power to differentiate!

It hurt in school, when I was differentiated from the rest of them coz I was an average student. It hurt when I was differentiated amongst my cousins coz I dared to think beyond the regular engineering stream and ventured into business management & administration. It hurt when my relatives differentiated my parents and me for a crime which my brother had committed. And its still hurts when I am differentiated by my friends for having chosen my family over them at a 'certain' point of time.

In spite of knowing that it hurts, do I make an effort to change my thinking towards it? Yes! But its been of no use. Coz the power to differentiate is the ultimate weapon that can be used against human existence. But by differentiating between the pretty and the ugly, the nice and no so nice, we are just admitting that we are pawns in the game play of the power to differentiate.

The power to differentiate is much larger when compared to the mere instances that I am referring to. But if these small instances can have such a profound impact on me, just imagine the kind of impact it can have to that section of people who are differentiated based o their religion, caste, physique, color, race and gender. And yet we differentiate between a Muslim and a Hindu, an Indian and a Pakistani, a boy and a girl, a person who is fair and a person who is dark.

When would we learn that the power of differentiation is for us to distinguish and segregate the good from the bad and not to differentiate amongst people based on their color, religion or race!

People gazing???

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 06:36:00 +0000

I knew I was a people watcher…….

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those persons with cold leery stares that would send shivers down your spine, nor am I a guy crazy gal who would blankly stare with star struck gaze into any guy’s face who would walk before me.

I’m actually a really warm person with soft brown eyes who likes to watch people’s mannerisms and actions. This is not something that I started consciously. I just happened to pick it up as a distraction from having to wait endlessly for my friends who would make sure that I wait the maximum coz I was a sticker for time. Time passed and it kinda got developed into a hobby. Now it’s become more of obsession kinds. Coz every time I see a person, I seem to analyze his mannerisms, body language, facial features unconsciously. And to complicate the entire thing, I somehow manage to link it up with the zodiac features of a person and end up being right! (of course, its by fluke!) Phew! Too complicated to understand, but I’m of the feeling that if I’m able to develop this it may be good for me. No harm in trying though! :-)

My sorrow is not for sale

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 11:12:00 +0000

My sorrow is not for sale,
Nor for exhibition.
Yet I end up auctioning my tears
The devil bids the highest.

Courtesy: http://gaurigharpure.blogspot.com/

Guess I'm the one who's most familiar with this. My only hope would be to wish that the devil is actually an angel in the guise of a devil

Water colors

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 10:13:00 +0000

I've been trying very hard to change the theme of my blog to something more pleasant and colorful. Either I don’t come across any themes I like or if I do then I screw up when I'm implementing them and make a hideous comedy of the entire situation, making people doubt on my computer skills.

The last time I attempted to change the theme, I took 1 hour to change the theme, and 1 week to getting things back to how it was before, coz I dint like the outcome :(

So this time when I decided to go for a theme change, I had to think a hundred times on it before finally deciding to go for it.

So Voila! I’ve updated my blog with a new theme and aptly this theme is titled Water colors. My choice for this theme did not just depend on my liking towards this form of art but also because of the varied mix of colors used in this template. I especially like the splash! effect the maker has given to the template. I do hope the color mix would definitely have some pleasant impact on the readers!

Give me some sunshine give me some rain, give me another chance to grow up once again……….

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 14:17:00 +0000

Of late there’s this strange sense of loneliness that’s creeping into me. I’m feeling myself drawn into a black hole with no way out. It like walking in a dark room with no support, or like somebody’s blindfolded me and let me loose in a place which I’ve no clue about. Finding myself alone amidst a crowd of strangers is understandable. But I seem to be finding myself alone even among known people. I’m lost in my own thoughts when everybody around me is discussing something important. I don’t seem to connect with them on any level. I’ve tried to reason it out with myself, and am not able to come to any substantial conclusion. What’s more disturbing is every time I contemplate about it, I’m being drawn deeper into the black hole. It’s happening from within and it’s like I’m completely shutting myself from the outer world. I’m not becoming conceited but I do feel that I’m on the verge of becoming oblivious to the world around me. I know it’s not a good sign but I don’t see any ray of light which can pull me away from this feeling of emptiness.

I always had this thought in mind that I was surrounded by the best of people around me. Not that I doubt their caliber or the fact of their goodness, but on a personal level I just can’t seem to open up with them like I used to earlier. It’s like being dumb. I can see, hear, feel and sense everything that they are trying to communicate to me, but unfortunately I’m not able to reciprocate the same from end. It’s like I’m opening my mouth but no words seems to be flowing out. I don’t think anybody has been able to grasp on to my helplessness, they just think I’m not interested.

I always thought that I had the best of friends with whom I could talk about everything important or not so important topic under the sun. Not that I doubt on their friendship towards me. But quite disturbingly I find myself to be drifting apart from everybody whom I thought of as my close to me. Though the warmth in relationship is still there from their end, I don’t see the same to be happening from me.

It feels like my friends and I are standing on the opposite banks of a river. No doubt we are heading to the same direction. They have others with them, and I find myself walking alone. And there is this huge uncrossable river separating us. :( :( :(

These are just thoughts that I’m expressing from deep within. Knowingly or unknowingly my actions might have hurt people around me. I just want to say that these actions are not something that I am doing with full consciousness. Most of the times, It’s a just a post-action of something that’s already happened which I’m not able to fully recollect in picture but my heart can definitely recollect the pain it has caused.

As friends I do hope and pray you are able to understand my situation, and deeply apologize for the conflicting circumstances I have created. But I seek out for your support during these troubled times, coz I know that it’s with you by my side that I can face the world with full confidence like the sunflower faces the sun. Tolerate my clumsiness for a few more days, I’m sure your support can awaken the real me!

Phir Mile sur???

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:14:00 +0000

Of all the songs in the world, the TOI group just had to, had to chose the iconic “Mile Sur Mera Tumhara" to mutilate. No I wouldn’t use their version of ‘Phir Mile sur’ (1) (2) coz I don’t see any sur meeting. Shankar Mahadevan said in the making of the video that all of them are using the same raang, but I see Aamir doing something that looks like a cross between an Aati kya khandala tune and a 3 idiot look, and SRK, Gosh! I don’t even want to talk about his act. I wish he would stop raising his arms for everything. He does it when he’s sad, happy, romantic, patriotic. Wtf! (u must have realized by now that I’m not a SRK Fan!)

I have my own doubts on this new version of the song. Is this a song that supposed to be epitomizing national integrity? I just see it jam packed with bollywood celebritites. If the TOI group feels that Bollywood represents India completely, they must be mistaken. I don’t see the others in the video at all.

No cricketers. Sachin easily represents 2 decades of Indian cricket. And isn’t dada supposed to be the most successful captain of the Indian Cricket team? And where’s Kumble? Wasn’t he the captain of the test team that beat Australia after 22 years?

No Great Personalities? Na da! I don’t see them being even remotely mentioned anywhere. No Man Booker Prize winner Arvind Adiga, No APJ anywhere and mentioning Nobel Prize scientist S Chandrashekar in the video would not have even come in their minds!

When cricketers are not featured, I doubt whether they would have thought of other sportsmen! Vishwanatah anand, Leander Paes, Mahesh Bhupati, Rajyavardhan Rathore………..rings a bell, Mr. Surendranath???

And don’t get me started on the wardrobes!!! Deepika’s leg show = Unity? National Integrity? Patriotism? I thought the men would enjoy that bit, but I’ve been receiving mixed reactions about it! Taking into account the nature of the video, the least the people featured in it could have done was to dress appropriately. The old video was really special! The new one is just an attempt, and a really pathetic one I must say.

However the one worth mentioning aspect of the video was the message on women's education, women empowerment and Salman's effort with deaf and dumb. I must say that of the 3 Khans, its Salman’s, that’s worth mentioning.

If the TOI group wanted to capture modern India in their song, they should have featured personalities like NRN, Premji against the back drop of Electronic City. At Least it would have shown progress in the right sense. I don’t see how the new song depicts modern India when it has an overdose of bollywood celebs.

I feel the old one was picturised on such a high note that anything these people would attempt at would fall short of it.

I, honestly wish that they would stop making such pitiable attempts at recreating such wonderful songs.

This is what one user had commented and I absolutely agree with him: A song with its wings fluttering to the higher spirits is chopped down by the "commercial bollywood mafia" and some unaesthetic new generation thoughts". The soldiers gone behind the screens , sportsmen all bowled out, and yes you have " aati kya khandala " with all its vulgarity. A shame to the Director, producer and yes to all of us.

Sad but true…

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:40:00 +0000

Today I had to take one of the most difficult decision of my life………… closing my first ever salary account. I had been postponing this decision over the past 6 months with the hope that I may find a job and the account would become active again but it’s been of no use.

As I walked to the bank I had the feeling that I was going to lose a very dear friend of mine………… my debit card. I probably never felt this depressed even when I quit my job coz I was never attached to it.

I remember the very first day I had touched it, it felt so magical. I was ecstatic the day I was handed my very own debit card. I even remember the first purchase I made using the card.

Finishing the formalities as I handed the debit card and cheque book to the person sitting across the counter, he started fidgeting with my debit card. He bent it so that it cannot be reused again and I felt that he was bending a part of me. That’s when I realized: somebody’s prized possession may be somebody else’s toy.

As I walked back from the bank, my bag did feel lighter with the absence of the debit card and cheque book but my heart sure felt heavier.

Taciturn reflections indeed!

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 10:55:00 +0000

I thought my creative juices had dried up & I was suffering from a temporary period of writer's block until a disturbing event surged up my emotions wreaking havoc in my mind.

The past few weeks have been extremely disturbing at the personal font & taxing my brains creating unexplainable turmoil within me. I have been muddling my way through this mess, dragging myself to face the realities of the harsh world yet again. I thought “YOU” were giving me the courage & the hope of a brighter tomorrow. All “YOU” were doing is feeding me with enough strength so that when I could faintly stand up on my legs, “YOU” can beat me down to dust again. “YOU” & me have an on-going battle, since time immemorial which both of know & are aware of. By now i have learnt of tricks to deceit “YOU” in “YOUR” own game. Yet my love & devotion towards you has never become less. Yes, I do question “YOU” on occasions when I felt “YOU” were not by me, those occasions when I needed “YOUR” support the most, I had to search high & low for “YOU.”

I do believe in the "footprints of sand", but “YOU” have never proved it to me when time & again I was faced with such situations where I wanted “YOU” to hold my hand and comfort me. Yet, I am not complaining about it.

But I don’t understand “YOUR” actions towards the people who trusted “YOU” the most. Even during the most disturbing times they never forget to thank “YOU” for what “YOU” have given them, yet it is these very people who “YOU” are torturing today with pain like they have never experienced before.

I know I deserve the 'testing times', “YOU” are taking me through. “YOU” probably want to make me emotionally stronger. What I fail to understand is why “YOU” are taking 'them' through these testing times when they definitely do not deserve this at this age. Don't “YOU” feel you are distancing “YOURSELF” from them??? Yet their love and devotion towards “YOU” will not become less. They will never complain to “YOU” about it.

I don’t know if this would make “YOU” feel any much guilty than “YOU” already are?

An evening to remember

noreply@blogger.com (Divz!!!) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:10:00 +0000

Sometimes you have something special to write about, but you just can’t find the time to do it. This is precisely what happened to me and hence you may actually find this post a bit outdated, but this is something that I had to write about and hence writing.

The last week of December was spent quite valuably. Not because it was close to Christmas and new year and that’s when I decide about my new year resolution, but because I actually found myself going back to one particular landmark in Bangalore more than often.

The landmark that I am actually referring to is “Ranga Shankara” a theatre put together by Arundati Nag, the wife of Late Shri Shankar Nag. People familiar with Kannada cinema will be definitely proud of the two.

Coming back, the last week of December was culturally and socially the best I had spent in the year and I say so because I got to witness 2 of the most amazing plays of Indian theatre.

These 2 plays were actually in Telgue put together by Sri Venkateshwara Nataka Mandali (Surabhi) team which was bought down especially from Andra Pradesh courtesy Infosys foundation. This team is actually a family of 60 people that is carrying forward the tradition.

Patala Bhiravi and Maya bazaar are the 2 amazing plays that I am talking about. The former has been made into a movie in many languages and is actually an Indian adaptation of Aladdin and the magic lamp. Maya bazaar is however a small story taken from the Mahabharata about the marriage between Shashirekha and Abhmanyu.

“Maya Bazaar” is a spectacular mythological play with lively music, imaginative scenery (including sets of hand painted curtains, wings and frills!), impressive lighting and innovative special effects that will leave an indelible impression on the audience.

A true celebration of the theatricality characteristic of Company Theatre, “Maya Bazaar” is run by members of the one family under a banner first established in 1885. To this day, Surabhi continues to tour Andhra Pradesh extensively, performing in pitched tents for months at a stretch.

This epic drama narrates the love story of Sashirekha, the daughter of Lord Krishna’’s elder brother, Balarama and Abhimanyu, his sister Subhadra’’s son. Central to the plot is the colourful character of Ghatodgaja who uses his magical powers and ingenuity to bring the lovers together in the face of opposition. The play is a must see for its innovative special effects on stage including the descent of Narada from the skies and flying ladoos that land in the mouth of the hungry Ghatotkacha!
Maya Bazaar tells a mythological tale from the epic Mahabharata. It is the story of the romance between Arjuna’s son Abhimanyu and Balarama’s daughter Sasirekha, and how they united against all odds with the help of Ghatotkacha, the demon son of Bhima, using his magic powers.
Best-known for its special effects, Maya Bazaar is unquestionably a treat for the eyes, with arrows flying on the stage causing a wall of fire, another brings down rain to put off the fire; a romantic song with real pigeons flying around and Narada descending from the clouds.
And that’s not all, when Ghatotkacha makes his appearance; the magic seems to begin all over again!

The 2 plays are stories of the bygone eras but the flavor of which is still amazing. I had seen of magic been created on screen using all the multimedia effects, but creating it on stage before a houseful audience was something I saw for the first time and I must say I was speechless.

Be it the dream sequence of the romantic song between the hero and the heroine or the magical fight between Gatokacha and Abhimanyu in Maya Bazaar or the magic slippers and magic carpet in Patala Bhairavi, it definitely left us all spell bound.

Such effects, such dramatization, such magic even puts Harry Potter to shame. I actually did hear one of the audience whispering that Lord of the rings was nothing when compared to the on- stage effects of Maya Bazaar.

People who missed this, I would say you definitely missed something very good. Do catch it when there is a repeat performance. AS far as I’m concerned I would say I am lucky that I got to watch such an amazing play.

Three cheers to Surabhi team!