Far From Flawless

You Might Be Ready for October If…

2026-09-28T13:32:13.386-04:00

Have you earned your unofficial degree in navigating October as a mom?

I am currently planning an extensive family trip that involves our large family arriving on different days, from different locations, with multiple flights, trains/car rentals, hotels, reservations and enough moving parts to qualify as a military operation. At this point, I feel I should be awarded an advanced degree in logistics, with a minor in international diplomacy.

But then I realized that motherhood has been preparing me for this for years. If you've raised children for any length of time, you've acquired a very particular set of skills. You know where to find free entertainment, which experiences are worth opening your purse for and how to get an entire family across town without losing your mind.

So, in honor of October, football season and the mothers who keep this city running, here are a few signs that you've officially earned your Mom degree.

You know how to entertain your family without spending a dime. You've mastered the art of free family fun. An afternoon at World's Fair Park? Absolutely. A hike at Ijams? Pack the water bottles. A stroll through Market Square? Even better when there's something happening downtown. Hit the Greenways or the duck pond and consider a backyard picnic. Many times, keeping our kids occupied doesn't need to cost more time.

You know when to splurge. You've learned that not every family outing needs to cost a fortune, but some experiences are worth the investment.

Maybe it's a day at Dollywood during the Harvest Festival, tickets to a Tennessee football game or a special outing to Zoo Knoxville. You know which experiences your family will remember long after they've forgotten what you spent.

You also know that a family of any size can turn a seemingly innocent afternoon outing into a significant financial event.

You understand that October is not for amateurs. Between football games, pumpkin patches, corn mazes, fall festivals, homecoming and Halloween, October requires its own color-coded calendar.

Like me, you've probably purchased pumpkins in 85-degree weather while wearing a sweater - purely out of principle. And you've learned that planning a Saturday family outing without first consulting the Tennessee football schedule is a rookie mistake.

You have strong opinions about Knoxville traffic. You know that "just across town" is a relative term. You know when to avoid Kingston Pike, that Turkey Creek on a Saturday afternoon requires patience and that game-day traffic is an entirely different species.

You've also developed the ability to calculate travel time based on school dismissal schedules, construction, football and whether there is a rolling roadblock on Alcoa Highway.

Your family may question your preferred route, but you know better. You've been driving these roads since before they were born.

You are a professional negotiator. Finding an activity that appeals to kids in elementary school, teenagers, and even college students plus two parents deserves its own certification. Finding a restaurant where everyone agrees on the menu? Doctorate-level work.

You've mastered the art of presenting three carefully researched options while making everyone believe they had a choice. And you've learned that sometimes the most successful family outing is ordering pizza and staying home.

You know the memories are worth the madness. Somewhere between coordinating schedules, finding parking, buying tickets and reminding everyone to bring a jacket, something wonderful happens.

You look around and realize that everyone is together, laughing and making memories. Even if someone complained about the parking, someone else was hungry and you paid entirely too much for a Coke.

Whether your children are little enough to love a pumpkin patch (don't we all still love them?) or old enough to arrive at the family vacation on separate flights, motherhood remains one big exercise in logistics.

And if you've successfully navigated an October in Knoxville with children, football, family activities and your sanity reasonably intact, congratulations! You've earned your degree in Mom Logistics.

Unfortunately, it comes with no diploma, no salary increase and absolutely no guarantee that anyone will appreciate your carefully planned itinerary.

But the memories? Those are worth every bit of it.

A Little Surprise at Just the Right Time

2026-08-29T12:00:00.000-04:00

How a scruffy little kitten found his way into our hearts—and stayed.

We are a family of dog lovers. Solidly in camp canine, we had never once considered adding a cat to our family.

Then one summer night, my husband saw a kitten in the tall grass beside a parking lot near our home. He mentioned it casually, but as mutual animal lovers we couldn't stop thinking about that little creature out there alone. Surely his mama was nearby. Did he get dumped? Thinking about all the recent storms, we drove back to check out her situation.

She was still there—crying out and popping her little head up from the tall grass. We offered her a little dog food because that's all we had, and after a few hesitant bites, she let us pick her up and we brought her home - just for the night. Just temporarily, of course.

The next day, we went back looking for her mama or other kittens, but there were none. We couldn't leave this skinny, scruffy little girl to fend for herself, so we purchased some kitten food and a few supplies, asked around for anyone who might be ready to adopt a kitten, and waited.

Meanwhile, the kitten was busy making herself at home.

She entertained us with antics, amazed us with agility and thoroughly disrupted the lives of our older dogs. We treated her fleas, gave her a bath and took her to be fixed and get basic shots through our local shelter.

That's when we discovered something else: Our little “Penny” wasn't a girl after all. As the kitten was growing, we began to suspect we may have gotten the gender wrong and the Young Williams crew confirmed that he was "definitely a Patches and not a Penny." A boy kitten - Patches. Finally, a name that seemed right.

By this point, we were beginning to enjoy the kitten snuggles, the mesmerizing purr and little chirps of this sweet guy. My husband looked at me and said, “So we are keeping him, right? We have a cat now?”

And I guess we did.

Patches came into our home at an unexpected time. Our youngest had just moved into his own apartment, and our house felt a quieter and a bit empty. We were proud and excited for our son, but there was also that ache that comes with watching your children grow up and need you a little less.

And somehow, right into that tender space came a kitten we never planned to have.

Patches has brought laughter, silliness and a little bit of whimsy into our home. He has given us something to smile about every single day.

We'll never know how he ended up in that parking lot or why he cried out to my husband that particular night. But I'm so glad he did. We still aren't cat people.

But we really do like this one.

Building a Life Beyond Motherhood

2026-07-14T11:24:47.483-04:00

I'm a summertime girl, but late summer has always felt a little bittersweet to me.

The garden is beginning to look tired. The evenings arrive just a little earlier. There is still plenty of sunshine, but if you're paying attention, you can feel the season beginning to shift.

Motherhood has seasons like that, too.

One day you're packing snacks and wiping sticky fingers. Then, almost without realizing how quickly it happened, you're helping someone move into a dorm room, watching another head off to work, or realizing your family dinner has become so much quieter than it used to be.

It's exactly what we've prayed for.

And it still makes your heart ache.

I don't think the ache means we've loved motherhood too much. I think it simply means we've loved deeply.

But I've also been wondering if these changing seasons carry an invitation.

For years, so much of my energy has been joyfully poured into raising the people God entrusted to me. I've rearranged schedules, built traditions, cheered from the sidelines, stayed up waiting for my chid to get home from a game or a shift, and demonstrated love often looks like showing up again and again.

Now, as our children begin building lives of their own, God is gently reminding me that He is still building mine. Motherhood is not ending—it never really does—but because our lives were always meant to be beautifully full in more than one direction.

Maybe this is the season to linger over coffee with a friend instead of rushing home.

To rediscover the joy of volunteering or creating something crafty.

To invest in your marriage with the same intentionality you once reserved for music lessons and football practices.

Friendships have a way of changing with the seasons. Some women knew us when our babies were in strollers. Others stood beside us in school hallways or shared blankets on chilly football nights. And perhaps God, in His kindness, has new friendships waiting—women who understand this season of letting go, of cheering from a little farther away, of discovering that He still has new things to teach us.

Our children were never meant to carry the weight of being our whole world.

They were meant to leave with confidence, knowing they were deeply loved, while looking back to see parents who are still growing, still serving, still laughing around tables filled with friends.

Late summer reminds us that every season carries both an ending and a beginning. The leaves haven't begun to change just yet, but if you pay attention, you can feel the promise of something new in the air.

Tomorrow begins TONIGHT!

2026-06-27T14:41:00.000-04:00

"The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep." - E Joseph Cossman

It's almost 3 am and I'm concerned that I'm not getting the proper sleep for my day tomorrow. It's more than that, I know I'm not! I have long valued sleep and know that I function so much better when I get the recommended amount, but some nights just don't unfold the way I hope.

Most of the time, I'm a great sleeper as reported by my Apple watch, and so it feels frustrating when that sleep doesn't come as I wish. Spiraling thoughts, long to-do lists, concerns about life and interruptions from sleeping partners and kids all conspire against us getting the sleep we truly need.

When I sleep well, I'm more patient. More present. More emotionally resilient. More capable of handling whatever challenges the day brings. I'm a better wife, a better friend, and a better mother.

Our culture often celebrates exhaustion as evidence of commitment. We wear busyness like a badge of honor and joke about surviving on coffee. For me, the stronger choice is recognizing that our bodies were designed with a built-in need for sleep and going without damages us in ways we are only beginning to understand.

I've been reading Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker, PhD and it has only reinforced what I've learned in my own life along the way. Now more than ever, I'm motivated to prioritize sleep for the healthy and longevity benefits, along with mood and basic functionality. And I'm especially aware of how my kids can benefit from the mental and emotional repair work done while sleeping. Sleep is one of the major legs of health on which we stand in this life - right up there with exercise and nutrition.

The research is clear: sleep affects nearly every system in our bodies. It impacts memory, learning, emotional regulation, immune function, metabolism, creativity, decision-making, and even life expectancy.

In other words, sleep isn't simply rest. It's active restoration. Sleep is the superpower we have available, but all-too-often ignore.

As parents, we spend countless hours thinking about what our children eat, what activities they're involved in, how they're performing in school, and whether they're developing the skills they'll need for adulthood. Yet many of us allow sleep to become negotiable.

Tonight, one of the most powerful things we can do for our kids—and ourselves—might be surprisingly simple: Go to bed. My projects can wait. There will always be another deadline. The laundry will still be there. My mind is craving downtime. Tomorrow will come soon enough.

Grad Gifts for Every Age - Because this year, it's personal!

2026-05-05T02:00:00.001-04:00

Every year, graduation season rolls around and I find myself asking the same question as everyone else…What do I get them?

But this year, it feels a little different.

Because I’m not just showing up to someone else’s graduation party—I’m standing in my own kitchen, looking at my senior, wondering how we got here so fast.

One minute he was asking for snacks and rides, and the now he is stepping into a life he has created for his future.

And somehow… a gift is supposed to hold all of that?

The pride.
The memories.
The letting go.
The quiet hope for who they’re becoming.

If I’m being honest, I’ve always tried to strike that balance between meaningful and actually exciting. Over the years, we’ve done a little bit of both in our family.

There were the gold hoops for one daughter—simple, classic, something she’ll wear long after this season passes.
A string of pearls for our college grad—timeless and a little sentimental, the kind of piece that quietly says you’ve stepped into something new.
And yes… one year, a puppy was the grad gift. (Very loved. Very memorable. Not something I broadly recommend unless directly requested from the grad.)

And now, this year, for my son—it’s a new iPhone. Because apparently, tech still wins when it comes to teenage boys. We’ve made a deal: I’ll cover it for four years. After that? It’s on him.

Part gift, part life lesson, which feels about right for this season.

Because graduation gifts, at their best, aren’t just things. They’re little markers.
A way of saying I see who you are… and I believe in where you’re going.

And whether you’re shopping for your own child or someone else’s, I’ve found the best gifts usually fall into a few categories: meaningful, practical, fun, and my favorite are the ones they don’t even realize they’ll need yet.

So here’s a list, in case your mind is blown away by the May calendar and all the other decisions needing to be made:

Preschool Graduation (yes, it counts—and it’s adorable)
- Gift Card for “You Did It!” Experience
Ice cream date, donuts before school, letting them pick dinner—this age remembers moments, not things.

- A Memory Book or Journal Printed
Something simple where you write who they are right now—their favorite snack, what they say when they’re tired, the way they mispronounce words. Print one that includes photos and handprints.
(You’ll cry when you read it later. Just a heads up.)

Elementary School Graduation
- A Wallet/Purse with Actual Cash
Tell them what you see in them right now—kindness, bravery, curiosity. This is the age where those words start to stick. Then demonstrate your trust and confidence by giving them the choice to spend $25 however they choose!

- A “Big Kid” Backpack or Watch
Something that quietly says, you’re growing up. Not flashy—just meaningful enough that they feel it.

Middle School Graduation (We are all so glad to be done)
- A Journal or Devotional
A space to process feelings, questions, friendships—all the things that get a little more complicated here.

- A “Just Us” Day
Shopping date, lunch, coffee—whatever makes them feel seen. Middle schoolers won’t always say it, but they need that time. For girls a mani/pedi and for guys a hike might be great ideas.

🎓 High School Graduation (This is the big one, right?)
- Tech or Tools for Their Next Step
In our house this year… it’s an iPhone. Because apparently, that still wins.
But beyond that—laptops, headphones, or anything that helps them step into independence.

- A Faith-Filled Gift They’ll Carry With Them
A Bible, devotional, or something that anchors them when everything else feels new. Because when they leave your house, you want them to take more than just their stuff—you want them rooted.

- Life Starter Kit
Laundry supplies, basic tools, first-apartment essentials and be sure to include a gift card for gas or groceries. Many girls love it when it's monogrammed, the guys not so much. Not glamorous… but incredibly loved about three weeks into real life.

College Graduation
- Luggage or Travel Gear
Whether it’s for a new job, moving cities, or finally taking that trip—this is the season they start going. Quality luggage is one of those gifts they’ll use for years.

- A Classic Piece of Jewelry or Keepsake
This is where those gold hoops… the pearls… the meaningful pieces come in.
Something that marks the moment in a quiet, lasting way.

- A Gift That Fits Them
And yes… sometimes that looks like a puppy.
(Again—not broadly recommended unless you’re ready for the commitment.)
But when it truly matches who they are? It becomes part of their story. This could be new personalized stationary, tools needed for grad school, or whatever the next step. I personally adored when I was gifted a couture bag to carry my work gear.

The gifts will change with every stage—bigger, more practical, maybe even a little more expensive—but what matters most never really does. It’s you. Your steady presence. Your pride. Your voice cheering them on as they grow. That’s what they carry with them into every next step, whether they realize it yet or not.

My Assignment Has Shifted

2026-04-09T08:56:00.000-04:00

I knew my assignment as mama and I didn’t take it lightly. I embraced it with my whole heart. I read the books, asked the questions, paid attention to the details. I showed up with intention, even when I felt unsure. I sacrificed, I guided, I corrected, I cheered, and I prayed so very much.

I am an all-in kind of person.

Motherhood wasn’t something I tried to survive, it has something I treasure. Even the hard parts felt like a privilege. The long nights, the hard conversations, the sacrifices, the moments of stretching and refining… it all matters because they matter.

And for a long time, I was needed for everything: Snacks. Rides. Lost shoes. Last-minute school forms. Questions I could never answer but talked through with them. I was the center of their world in all the small, ordinary, sacred ways. I understood the assignment. And I loved it.

And now…Now the assignment has changed.

My kids are all consider adults and they are truly wonderful. I genuinely enjoy them. I like being with them. I trust them. And I can see clearly—they are stepping into their lives in a way that no longer requires me at the center.

They can make their own appointments. They manage their schedules. They solve problems without immediately calling me (most of the time). They are building lives that don’t revolve around our kitchen table. This is exactly what I raised them to do.

But if I’m honest, it’s a little disorienting to feel the shift. To go from being constantly needed to… intentionally available. To move from hands-on to hands-open. I find myself learning a whole new way to be their mom.

How do I show up without hovering?
How do I stay close without overstepping?
How do I keep the door open without trying to pull them back through it?

This version of motherhood requires something different from me.

More restraint.
More trust.
More prayer than ever before.

Because I could still step in. I often know how to help. I have years of experience and a deep desire to make things easier for them.

But that’s not the assignment anymore.

Now, my role looks like listening more than speaking.
Waiting to be asked (sometimes… I’m still growing here).
Offering encouragement instead of solutions.
Reminding them who they are, not what they should do.

And trusting—really trusting—that what was planted over all those years is still growing.

There is a quiet kind of bravery in this season. In stepping back while staying deeply present. In believing that the love, the consistency, the prayers, and the everyday faithfulness took root.

This isn’t about losing our place in their lives, it’s about redefining it. We are still needed, just differently. I am still the safe place. The soft landing. The steady voice when the world feels loud. The one who believes in them without hesitation.

And maybe this is part of the beauty of it all. To watch them become exactly who they were created to be. To see the fruit of years we invested with open hands.

So here I am, learning this new assignment. Still their mom. Always mom.

Just with a little more space, a little more trust, and a whole lot of love.

The Home Stretch and Finish Line!

2026-03-04T12:32:00.000-05:00

My “baby” finished high school last semester.

Not with a big ceremony or a last walk through crowded hallways, but quietly. His classes wrapped up, his books closed, and just like that, the rhythm of high school ended in our home. He’ll still walk in graduation ceremonies in May, but in so many ways, this season has already turned.

And now month, he just turned eighteen.

In 2026, our oldest is getting married, and our youngest is graduating high school. Somehow, all at once, I’m closing one chapter and opening another. My motherhood journey has gently, and quickly, shifted into the season of coaching young adults.

These days, my son’s life looks different than it used to. He’s working to save for college. He’s studying to improve his ACT score. He’s practicing percussion with focus as he prepares to audition for collegiate marching band. There’s a steady purpose about him lately, less little boy, more young man with a sense of purpose and direction.

It feels like the final lap of a race I’ve been running for twenty-two years.

For a long time, motherhood meant hands-on everything. Daily direction. Monitoring schedules. Checking homework. Managing rides, meals, bedtimes, and boundaries. I built worlds for my kids and invited them to live inside them, safe and structured and centered around our family rhythm.

Now the work looks different.

My kids haven’t all moved out of the house, but they have clearly built worlds beyond the ones I created for them. Their friendships, jobs, callings, schedules, and dreams stretch farther than my reach ever could. And with that comes a gentle, but absolute shift in my role.

I’m moving from hands-on mothering to hands-up cheering.
From daily directing to daily connecting.
From monitoring to guiding by invitation.

Instead of managing every step, I get to walk beside them, listen first, pray more, and speak when invited. It’s less about control and more about trust. Trusting the God who loves them even more than I do, and trusting the seeds planted along the way.

This season of motherhood has been mostly beautiful. The role changes with each child, because hearts are different.

One child thrives on affection and responds best to a whispered correction. Another needs space where too much structure feels stifling. In the same home, with the same parents, souls can need completely different approaches. And over the years, we’ve learned together how to love well.

Along the way, I’ve been too harsh sometimes.
Too lenient other times.
Too isolating.
Too inconsistent.

But in every season, I did the very best I knew how to do with what God placed in my hands at the time.

I carry a peaceful hope that love and connection will outweigh my mistakes. I want each of my kids to know I am a safe place, to fall apart, to laugh too hard, to ask hard questions, or to celebrate any accomplishment, big or small. I want them to know there isn’t only one “right” path. That God unfolds plans as we walk, not before we move.

One of my favorite ways to talk about the future is simple:
Take a step in a direction and allow God to guide.

Scripture says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps” (Proverbs 16:9). We don’t need the whole map, just faith for the next step.

And lately, I’ve been watching my final guy take his.

There’s something tender about this last one moving into his next season. I find myself soaking in the glow of watching him move forward with discipline, humility, determination and hope.

I will always treasure the days when their hearts were all mine, the scraped knees, bedtime prayers, carpool talks, and the sweet simplicity of small hands wrapped in mine. Those moments shaped me as much as they shaped them.

But today, I’m also content with where we’ve arrived.

I’m excited about doing life with grown kids. About travel and shared adventures. About coffee dates, cheering sections, and spontaneous plans. About supporting their dreams without carrying their backpacks. About staying connected, not because they need me to manage their lives, but because they want me in them.

As I watch my baby finish his final lap of childhood, I see clearly now, this isn’t an ending. It’s a handoff. From mothering children to walking alongside emerging adults, cheering just as loudly, praying just as fiercely, and loving just as deeply.

I've still got big moments like prom and graduation ceremony just ahead, so there are moments left to mark these final days. The race looks different now, yes. But we will always be running together!

Granny Hobbies Your Kids WillLove on a Cold Day

2026-01-29T10:23:00.001-05:00

Granny Hobbies Your Kids Will Love on a Cold Day

Apparently, our kids and teens are officially cool with doing things that look suspiciously like what our dear grandmothers may have loved.

There is a growing trend among young people to embrace what the internet now calls “granny hobbies.” Knitting, baking, gardening, sewing, journaling. Slow, cozy, hands-on activities that feel calming instead of chaotic. Country artist Emily Ann Roberts even hosts knitting groups, and yes, pop culture royalty is in on it too. Taylor Swift has shared about making sourdough bread when she is home. If it works for her, it can work for my kitchen on a freezing Thursday afternoon.

Why the shift? Because these crafts offer something screens cannot. They give kids sensory satisfaction and real world focus. They provide a mental break from constant digital input. In a world full of notifications, scrolling, and group chats, granny hobbies invite quiet productivity. Kids use their hands, their creativity, and their patience while their minds get a rest.

A movie and popcorn are always fun, but when the cold keeps everyone inside and the walls start feeling closer, these screen-free ideas can turn a long day into a meaningful one.

First, baking. Baking is basically science class with sugar. Let kids measure, pour, stir, and sample. Start with muffins, cookies, banana bread, or homemade pizza dough. Everyone gets a job, and suddenly the kitchen smells like comfort and cooperation. Recently my own 17-year-old started sourdough from scratch and let the concoction mature in his room and then he baked his first loaf! We are all loving it!

Sourdough bread sounds fancy, but kids love the process. There is something magical about feeding a starter and watching dough grow. Let them name it, mix it, shape it, and watch it bake. It teaches patience and responsibility, and if the loaf is imperfect, butter fixes almost everything.

Crochet or knitting feels very granny, but kids are surprisingly drawn to it. Start with finger knitting or chunky yarn and big hooks. Scarves, headbands, or doll blankets work well. It is quiet, focused work that keeps hands busy and minds calm.

Button crafts are another simple win. Grab a jar of buttons and some cardboard or frames. Kids can make mosaics, jewelry, name art, or decorate keepsakes. Sorting, designing, and gluing tiny things feels creative without overwhelming the house.

Fairy gardens in a terrarium add a little wonder to the day. Use a glass jar, soil, moss, pebbles, and tiny figures. Let kids design paths, houses, ponds, and secret corners. Once it is done, they tend to check on their tiny world like responsible landlords. Add these pod creatures for an prehistoric vibe.

And when creativity starts fading, bring out the secret weapon. A complicated Lego set. Not the toddler kind, the big box that looks slightly intimidating. Even our teenagers still love it. They just pretend they do not at first. Then they are on the floor for two hours sorting pieces and solving problems. Legos build focus, patience, teamwork, and give kids something tangible to be proud of when the last brick clicks into place.

What I love most about these slow hobbies is what they do for us moms too. They invite us to pause and to sit instead of rush. To notice flour on noses, yarn on the couch, quiet conversations, and the gift of being together in the same space. Every season of motherhood looks different, but being indoors with our kids has always been part of it, whether they are toddlers underfoot or teenagers pretending they are too cool for crafts.

Sometimes God uses ordinary days to grow something steady in us. A loaf of bread, a knitted row, a Lego tower, a tiny fairy garden. None of it is flashy, but all of it is forming hearts, patience, and connection.

So yes, enjoy the movie and popcorn. But when winter traps us all inside, try a little granny wisdom. You might be surprised what your kids fall in love with, and what your own heart settles into while they do.

When Christmas Comes with Grief

2025-12-08T02:00:00.001-05:00

This year, Christmas comes wrapped in both joy and ache.

Just a few weeks ago, our family lost my mother-in-law so suddenly and unexpectedly that it still doesn’t feel real. Even though we lived in different cities and weren’t together all the time, her presence was a constant thread in our lives. She was the one who kept the family connected, checking in, planning the gatherings, making sure everyone was thought of and included. She’s the one with the cherished Hello Dolly recipe and the Christmas candy that appeared like clockwork each December. She was the one who made the lists, organized the schedules, and reminded us what really mattered.

Now, her absence feels like a quiet echo in all of our familiar plans. We’re facing Thanksgiving, her birthday, and Christmas without her, and there’s no pretending that it’s easy. But I’m learning that grief doesn’t cancel out celebration. It just changes it.

The lights still sparkle. The music still plays. The cookies still bake. But underneath all of it, there’s a tenderness, a reminder that love leaves a mark deeper than loss. Every tradition, every memory, every recipe passed down feels like a gift she left behind. And while they bring tears at times, they also bring comfort.

I’ve realized that those pangs of sadness are just proof of how deeply she loved and how much she was loved in return. The memories that come when I catch myself hearing her laughter or picturing her focus on a Scrabble game aren’t painful reminders of what’s gone. They’re gentle evidence of the gift she was to all of us.

This December, I find myself doing things she once did. Reaching out to family to find out when we can gather. Making space at our table for dad, hoping to give him a change of scenery during the days he’ll miss her most. Pulling out her recipes, even though no one can quite make them the way she did. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I can feel her influence, the legacy of a woman whose faith and love still shape our family, even now.

Christmas doesn’t drive away sadness, but it makes room for it, alongside hope, gratitude, and even joy. The story at the heart of this season, of God stepping into our world and light entering darkness, reminds me that grief and celebration can coexist. That love doesn’t end, and that faith continues to carry us forward.

So, as we hang ornaments and light candles, we’ll do so with full hearts, thankful for the years we had, the lessons she left us, and the chance to carry her spirit into the generations that follow.

Her touch is still here, just in new ways — in the laughter around our table, in the quiet prayers we whisper for one another, in the way we keep showing up for family, just like she taught us to.

And maybe that’s the beautiful mystery of this season: that even in grief, we find comfort; even in absence, we find presence; and even in loss, we find love that endures.

Teaser: This Christmas looks different. As our family walks through grief, we’re learning that sorrow and celebration can share the same season — and that love, once given, doesn’t fade with time.

Finding the Heart of a Holiday Movie at Home - the Real Hallmark of Christmas

2025-11-11T08:20:00.000-05:00

There’s something about Christmas that touches a longing deep in within us. Every year, we wait for it—the flicker of candles, the scent of pine, the sound of laughter drifting through the house. For a few fleeting weeks, the world feels softer, more beautiful, more possible.

Maybe that’s why we love Hallmark movies so much. By the end, the problems are solved, the people find connection, and light breaks through the shadows. Along the way we glimpse nostalgic décor, cozy sweaters, and snowflakes that never seem to melt ... along with women who have perfect hairstyles that survive any weather condition and men who actually wear winter scarves. We watch as strangers become friends and hope is restored in some small-town main street where everything seems just right.

It isn’t our normal world, and that’s exactly why we’re drawn to it. Deep down, we all long for the same kind of redemption—to see the broken made whole, the lonely find belonging, and the weary find peace.

That longing is what Christmas is really about. It’s the story of Christ stepping into our darkness to bring light, to set right what has gone wrong, and to offer salvation to every heart that will receive it. The truest miracle of Christmas isn’t found in the perfect movie ending, but in the reality of God’s love coming near—in a manger, under starlight, in the most humble of places.

I think that’s why I find so much joy in creating a Christmas movie atmosphere at home. It’s my small way of reflecting that light and hope into my own space.

I get to visit Kansas City this November—the home of Hallmark—I can’t help but think about how this company has shaped how we feel about the season. And yet, for me, it all circles back to something much simpler: home, memory, and meaning.

My first Christmas on my own, in a tiny apartment as a single woman, I bought a stunning sleigh ride figurine. It sat on my table surrounded by twinkle lights, a reminder that beauty and hope could still exist in quiet and humble places, like a single gal's new apartment. Nearly thirty years later, that same figurine still comes out every December. And shockingly, I found the exact same piece at our local KARM thrift store just this season! I bought it for my daughter. I want her to have a bit of that same magic, that same reminder that joy can last through the years.

There are the ornaments too, the ones that have hung on our tree since “Baby’s First Christmas.” Some are handmade, some chipped, all loved. Each carries a story, a moment, a piece of our family’s journey. They are far from coordinated, but together, they are perfect.

Some people begin decorating the moment November arrives, others wait until after Thanksgiving. I tend to start when time and mood allow—placing greenery in mid-November, hanging lights on a warm weekend, adding touches of red as the days grow shorter. The tree often goes up before Thanksgiving, but we save the ornaments and finishing touches for afterward, turning that weekend into a cherished ritual of unboxing memories and stringing lights.

My home may never look like a curated aesthetic. It’s not the latest style or a picture-perfect Hallmark set. But in the soft glow of evening, surrounded by the treasures of Christmas past and the memories of those I love, it feels sacred.

So whether you live in an apartment, a cramped home, or a sprawling empty nest, you can still create that spark of Christmas magic within your own walls. No matter if your home glitters with gold or whispers with natural greens, let it reflect your story. The magic of Christmas isn’t in perfection, it's in honoring your stories and your loves, especially those with whom you celebrate.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

— John 1:5

Stuck in the Middle - With You!

2025-10-21T09:06:00.003-04:00

Somewhere between raising teens and caring for parents, between college bills and retirement dreams — we find ourselves in the middle.

There’s a line from that old song that plays in my head more often these days: “... here I am, stuck in the middle with you.”

Middle. That’s where so many of us find ourselves — somewhere between carpool lines and college tours, between our teens’ independence and our parents’ growing dependence. It’s a strange tension, this middle season. One moment you’re coaching your son through ACT prep, and the next you’re helping your mom sort through medical bills. You’re celebrating a child’s first taste of adulthood while trying to manage your own creeping awareness of time passing — and your knees reminding you that they are, in fact, not 25 anymore.

Financially, it can feel just as tight. College tuition meets retirement planning somewhere in the middle of your bank account, and neither one wants to budge. You start to realize that “someday” planning isn’t theoretical anymore — it’s now. The juggling act between helping your kids launch well and preparing yourself (and maybe your parents) for what’s ahead can leave you feeling stretched, tired, and guilty that you can’t do it all perfectly.

But here’s the truth: you’re not meant to do it all. And you’re certainly not meant to do it alone.

In the middle, we learn to lean. To ask for help. To accept that caring for others means caring for ourselves, too — because burnout doesn’t serve anyone. That might look like carving out time for a walk, scheduling your own doctor’s appointments instead of pushing them off, or saying no to one more obligation so you can actually rest.

Taking care of your aging self isn’t selfish; it’s stewardship. You’re modeling for your kids what it looks like to prioritize health, balance, and faithfulness in every season. You’re showing them that strength isn’t about holding everything together — it’s about holding on to what truly matters.

And in all of it — the uncertainty, the exhaustion, the in-between — God is there. The middle may feel messy, but it’s not without meaning. Scripture reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5–6).

We may not see how the pieces fit together — the parenting, the caretaking, the finances, the plans — but God does. He’s already ahead of us, preparing what’s next. Our role is to trust Him in the tension and rest in the truth that He’s faithful in every stage of life.

So maybe being “stuck in the middle” isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe it’s the sacred space where we learn to depend more deeply on God, to laugh at life’s absurdities, and to discover a deeper joy in walking this middle road together — hand in hand with Him.

Here’s to all of us in the middle — still learning, still loving, still trusting, and still finding our way. We can’t see what’s coming around the next curve, but we can breathe, trust, and enjoy the drive.

A Day for You: Why Moms Need Time Alone (and How to Actually Enjoy It)

2025-09-11T13:59:00.002-04:00

Intro: Got a rare day all to yourself? Whether you’re craving rest, adventure, or a little indulgence, here are some fun ways to spend it—without the guilt.

Recently, I took a day off work and I found myself realizing I had a whole day with no commitments. No ball games. No appointments. No family schedule to coordinate. Just me. And do you know what my first thought was? Oh good, I’ll finally catch up on that project…

But here’s the thing: every time I tell myself I’ll spend a free day being “productive,” I end up disappointed. What I’ve learned is this: the best use of a day alone isn’t checking off tasks—it’s removing all demands. Giving myself space. Letting the day unfold with fewer expectations.

So let’s talk about what to actually do with a day that’s all yours.

Step One: Tell Your People

Before you dive into your adventure (or non-adventure), make sure your family knows what you’re doing. Not in a “asking for permission” kind of way—but in a “I’m taking this time for me, and I’d love your support” way. It helps to share what you’re hoping for: “I need a reset, so I’m planning a quiet day with no demands” or “I want to explore and have fun, so I’ll be out and about.” When they understand, it feels less like you’re sneaking away and more like they’re cheering you on. I make sure to let everyone know that I won't be cooking and to make plans for themselves - pizza is usually involved.

Step Two: Decide Your Vibe

Some days call for adventure. Other days call for pajama pants and snacks. Here are a few ideas to spark your imagination:

Get into nature. Lace up your shoes and go for a hike. If you’re in East Tennessee, House Mountain is a great option—it’s close enough for a half-day trip but feels like a world away. The view from the top is the perfect reminder to breathe deeply. We have many options from hikes, to lakes, to Seven Islands Birding Park.
Book something indulgent. Schedule that massage, facial, or hair appointment you’ve been putting off. Even a simple shampoo and style can make you feel like a new person.
Play tourist. Visit a museum, a historical site, or even just a quirky little shop you usually drive past. There’s something fun about wandering with no agenda.
Veg out. Queue up that series you’ve been dying to watch (you know, the one no one else in your family is interested in). Make yourself comfy and binge guilt-free.
Dream a little. Unplug for a few hours. Bring a notebook and jot down ideas for the future—not to make a plan, but just to imagine. Sometimes we need space to think about what we want, not just what needs doing.
Wander and shop. Drive to that part of town you never get to, grab a coffee, and meander through boutiques or antique stores. Let yourself linger without rushing.
Rest. This may sound simple, but sometimes the bravest choice is to nap in the middle of the day. Rest is productive in its own way.

Step Three: Mix It Up

One of my favorite combinations? A hike and a massage. Move your body, breathe in the fresh air, and then reward yourself with deep relaxation. Or maybe start the morning unplugged with coffee and journaling, then end the day wandering through shops. Think of it like building a menu—you get to pick and choose.

Step Four: Hold Expectations Loosely

Whatever you choose, give yourself permission to shift gears. If you planned to wander shops but instead feel like curling up with a book, that’s fine. If you thought you’d binge a series but find yourself craving sunshine, go outside. The goal isn’t to do it “right.” The goal is to feel renewed and take advantage of having no one else's needs in mind for a day.

The Takeaway

As moms, we’re so used to organizing, planning, and making sure everyone else is cared for that we sometimes forget how to just be. A day alone—whether it’s filled with adventure, pampering, or total relaxation—reminds us that our needs matter too.

So the next time your calendar cracks open a little space, don’t rush to fill it with chores or productivity. Take the day for yourself. Tell your family, choose your vibe, and lean into whatever feels life-giving. You might be surprised how a single day can reset your spirit.

The Gift of Stepping Back - Raising Capable Kids

2025-08-14T12:25:00.010-04:00

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 1:6

My youngest just started his senior year, and I can’t help but feel the shift. It’s exciting and bittersweet. And if I’m honest, I’m still fighting the urge to over-mother, even though I’ve technically been “launching” kids for a few years now.

But here’s what I keep learning in this season: When I step back, they step forward. Every single time.

The urge to over-function—doing things for them to make life smoother or safer—is real. But more often than not, that instinct doesn’t serve our kids. In fact, it sends a message I never intended:
“I don’t think you can handle this.”
And that’s not what I believe at all. I believe they’re strong and capable - and watching them prove it has been one of the greatest joys of motherhood.

My 19-year-old daughter recently planned and paid for two incredible trips—one to Hawaii and one to the Bahamas. She researched the details, created a budget, booked everything herself, and pulled it off with confidence. I didn’t lift a finger.

My 21-year-old son just signed a lease for an apartment. He’s managing rent, utilities, and grocery shopping—all on his own. He asks questions when he needs to, but he owns the responsibility, and I couldn’t be more proud.

Even my 17-year-old, who’s juggling a full course load and a job during his senior year, is figuring out time management and discipline. It’s not always perfect, but it’s real growth—and it’s his to own.

Their independence didn’t appear overnight. It started years ago, when we gave them space to try. It looked like letting them walk into unfamiliar rooms and meet new people. It looked like managing a small allowance, saving for things they wanted, paying for their own app subscriptions, and learning to make choices...and sometimes mistakes. Each little experience planted seeds of confidence:
“You are capable.”
“You can do hard things.”

So now, when I feel that old urge to swoop in and solve, I remind myself:
My job isn’t to do it for them—it’s to remind them they can do it themselves.
And if it doesn’t go as planned?

I’m still here. Not to fix, but to be a resource. To listen, brainstorm, offer encouragement, or help them figure out what’s next. That’s the shift in this season: I’m not raising little kids anymore. I’m guiding young adults.

And while there are days I miss being more needed, I wouldn’t trade this for anything. Watching them grow into themselves with courage and responsibility is its own kind of gift.

If you’re in this stage too—watching your kids take steps toward independence, while you quietly step back—you’re not alone. It’s a hard and holy place. It’s parenting in a whole new way.

Letting go is an act of faith. As moms, we’re wired to protect and nurture, but there comes a point when releasing our children is the most loving thing we can do. It’s in those moments of stepping back that we create space for God to step in—to grow them, stretch them, and meet them in their independence.

Watching our kids rise to the occasion doesn’t mean we’re no longer needed; it means the seeds we’ve planted are beginning to bloom. We move from directors to cheerleaders, from daily decision-makers to faithful supporters. And that is a beautiful, sacred shift.

Let’s be the kind of moms who trust what has been planted.
Let’s give our kids the gift of believing in them and the space to rise.

Campfire Conversations & Car Talks: Summer reflections on connection, chaos and the gift of just a little more time

2025-06-15T10:25:00.002-04:00

It’s that time of summer where the rhythm is a little less structured and a little more sacred. The college kids are home, the high schooler’s got one foot in childhood and one in grown-up territory, and my kitchen feels more like a revolving door than a calm domestic haven.

There are days when it’s a lot—laundry everywhere, the fridge emptying faster than I can restock it, calendars overlapping with summer jobs, church activities, and the endless rhythm of “Who’s coming over? Who’s staying for dinner?” But as much as it boggles my brain, I’m learning to lean in.

Because this season? It’s fleeting.

During the in-between moments—those unscheduled evenings, late-night hangouts, and long car rides—I’m reminded of the gift it is to still be here. Not hovering, not fixing everything, but close enough to listen, to ask, and to simply be present.

These are the days of seeing them take big steps toward independence. Summer jobs aren’t just about staying busy—they’re funding pieces of their dreams: College tuition, a first car, travel plans, savings accounts. They’re learning responsibility, but they’re also learning about their own capabilities. And I get a front-row seat to witness it and cheer for each one.

There are spontaneous coffee runs, random driveway talks, and the golden moments when their friends pile into our living room and laughter fills the house. I’ve learned that making space for their friends—keeping the door open, snacks on hand, and letting the house be loud and full—is one of the most meaningful things I can do for them. Because when their friends feel safe here, my kids feel even more at home.

It’s not always convenient. Sometimes it’s exhausting. I’ve had days where I just want quiet, where I’d love a clean kitchen that stays clean, or a night without anyone asking, “What’s for dinner?” But I’m reminded again and again—this is temporary. This season of a full house, late nights, chaotic calendars, and a refrigerator that never stays closed… it won’t always be like this.

And while it can feel like I’m running a 24-hour diner, I know what I’m really doing is investing. Not just in meals and rides and folding towels, but in connection. In trust. In creating a space where my almost-grown kids can still land safely while they figure out who they’re becoming.

Sometimes the most important conversations happen without a plan—around a campfire, during a walk, or on a long road trip. I’ve learned to welcome the silence just as much as the moments when they open up, because both are valuable. Both are connection.

We’ve traded bedtime stories for conversations about internships, relationships, faith, and adulting. And they still need my voice—not to direct, but to encourage. To remind them they’re not alone. To remind myself that presence is enough.

So I’ll keep making space. I’ll keep offering time, open ears, and a revolving door that creaks from all the comings and goings. Because as much as they’re growing and going, they’re still mine. And I want them to know that home—real, grace-filled home—will always be here for them.

And that’s worth every dish, every late night, every moment of beautiful, midsummer chaos.

What Easter Has Taught Me About Motherhood

2025-04-18T09:30:00.009-04:00

Motherhood has a way of bringing you to the end of yourself over and over again. That’s kind of where Easter begins too!

I used to think Easter was mostly about celebration—and it is—but it’s also about surrender, waiting and trusting God with the things you can’t fix or fully understand. Sound familiar, mom?

If I’m honest, I’ve had seasons in motherhood where it felt like something had to die for something new to be born. Not always in a dramatic way, more like a quiet surrender. A letting go. Sometimes it’s been my pride, or my need to be right. Other times, it’s been my expectations of how things “should” go, or how my kids “should” behave or respond. I’ve had to release dreams I had for them that no longer fit who they’re becoming, and all of that is hard.

Easter reminds me that even when it looks like everything’s over—when Friday feels final—a new morning is still coming. God is always at work in the unseen. I may not understand the path my kids are on, but He does. I can’t always see the outcome, but I can trust the One who’s writing their story.

One of the biggest things Easter has taught me is that my children are still becoming who God made them to be. And so am I. That gives me so much peace. I don’t have to be the perfect mom with the perfect plan. I just have to be faithful with what I’ve been given, one day at a time.

That includes making space for forgiveness. I’ve had to offer it more times than I expected—and I’ve had to ask for it, as well. I’ve snapped when I should have listened. I’ve tried to control when I should have trusted. And I’ve carried guilt longer than I needed to, forgetting that the same grace I offer to my kids is available to me too.

And let’s be real—sometimes the “little deaths” of motherhood feel quiet and unseen. The letting go of the way things used to be. The slow fade of a role you once played. The ache of watching them grow more independent while you grow a little more invisible.

But Easter says that death is not the end. In God’s hands, it’s the doorway to something new and better. Something full of life. Something that looks like trust, hope, and love that never quits.

That’s what I’m holding onto. Even when I can’t see the full picture, I know God is working. He’s shaping my kids. He’s shaping me. And He’s doing it in His perfect timing.

So I’ll keep showing up. I’ll keep letting go. I’ll keep trusting Him with every unanswered question and unspoken prayer. Because love—real, steady, resurrection-kind-of-love—always wins in the end.

And that’s what Easter has taught me about motherhood.

The Lasting Joy of Gardening With Your Children

2025-04-10T09:30:00.000-04:00

There’s something deeply special about sinking your hands into the soil alongside your children. Gardening is more than planting seeds and pulling weeds, it’s an unspoken language of love, a garden bed filled with quiet conversations, laughter and the tender touch of working the earth together. It’s about more than just flowers and veggies, it’s about roots - both in the soil and in the hearts of those we cherish.

The Bond That Blooms

Gardening offers a gentle rhythm of working together, celebrating small victories and embracing the beauty of each passing season. For young children, digging in the dirt and planting flowers is pure magic and opens their eyes to the wonder of nature. Kids learn patience as they water tiny seedlings, and then joy as they see their efforts transform into bursts of color.

As they grow, the garden becomes a safe haven, a space where time slows down, even as life speeds up. Maybe your teenager won’t hold your hand anymore, but they’ll still kneel beside you in the soft earth, pressing zinnia seeds into the ground. These hardy, vibrant flowers stand tall and strong, much like the children who plant them. And just like the love poured into them, they keep blooming, a reminder of love that lingers even as seasons change.

One day, my son visiting from college told me, "Mom, when I'm on campus, I notice the flowers and think of you." His words were a reminder that the love we plant stays with them, blooming in unexpected moments, even when they are far from home.

Then comes adulthood, when the garden becomes more than a place, it becomes a memory of your sweet times together. A daughter, now grown, might plant nasturtiums in her own yard, remembering the way their peppery petals made her mother laugh as they tossed them into summer salads. A son, living miles away, might catch the scent of daffodils in the air and be transported back to a crisp autumn day, when small hands helped mom place bulbs into the earth.

The Healing Power of Nature

Beyond the bonds it builds, gardening is deeply healing. Life can be overwhelming and growing up is hard, parenting is hard, letting go is hard. But in the garden, there is peace. The gentle hum of bees, the warmth of the sun on tired shoulders, the cool embrace of soil beneath fingertips give us space to pause and savor the present moment.

The garden is a place to pause, focus and attend to the rhythmic needs of plants and spaces. The noise and demands of life are turned down in the garden where only the simple tasks are necessary.

For teenagers navigating the ups and downs of life, the garden offers a quiet escape. It is a place where the world slows, where hands are busy but minds can rest. It teaches them that growth takes time, that beauty emerges even after the coldest winters and that sometimes, all we need is a little light and time to bloom again.

Keep Planting, Keep Loving

Gardening with your children is a love story that never truly ends. It’s a quiet promise, sealed in the soil, carried in the wind, blooming long after hands have let go. So keep planting, keep growing, and cherish every moment spent in the garden together. Because long after the petals fade, the love you’ve sown will keep blooming - in the flowers, in their hearts and in the cherished memories that time can never take away.

Start Your Own Tradition

If you’re a young mom, wondering how to create something lasting with your children, start small. Grab a pack of zinnia or marigold seeds, and press them into the soil with tiny hands beside yours. Watch together as the green shoots break through, as the colors burst open like laughter. One day, when they’re grown, they’ll notice flowers on their own path and think of you. And in that quiet moment, love will bloom again, just as it was planted by you - season after season, heart to heart.

Blended Family Holidays: Experiencing the Joy

2024-11-20T12:00:00.001-05:00

I’ll be honest—when I first stepped into the world of blended family holidays, I felt overwhelmed. The logistics alone were enough to make my head spin: juggling multiple schedules, coordinating traditions, and trying to make everyone feel included and loved. And then there were the emotions—the kids missing their other parent, the weight of expectations and the delicate dance of honoring old traditions while creating new ones.

It hasn’t always been smooth, but over the years, I’ve learned something important: the beauty of blended family holidays isn’t in getting it all right. It’s in showing up, loving deeply and finding joy in the messy, imperfect moments.

The Struggle Is Real, but So Is the Joy
One Christmas, we finally had all the kids under one roof (after they spent Christmas morning at other homes) and I wanted it to be magical—a picture-perfect holiday. But as the day unfolded, reality looked more like mismatched stockings, rejected recipes and a battle over who got to open the last gift.

At one point, I found myself standing in the kitchen, feeling defeated. But then I heard laughter from the living room—our children (biological and steps) were all together, playing a game and cracking up. It wasn’t perfect, but it was ours. And that was enough.

Later, in a quiet house because the kids had all departed to their other parents' home, I remembered something that calmed my heart: Christmas isn’t about perfection. It’s about the perfect gift of Christ Jesus. His birth brought light into a messy, broken world—and that light shines in our homes, even on the hardest days. The glow of the Christmas tree felt warm but my home felt empty. I had to shift my focus and knowing we had made sweet memories together let me keep my focus on the happy day just shared.

Letting Go of "Perfect"
As moms, we carry this weight of wanting everything to be just right for our families, especially during the holidays. But in a blended family, perfection isn’t just unrealistic—it’s exhausting.

What I’ve learned is that it’s okay to let go of what I think the holidays should look like. Instead, I’ve started asking myself, What really matters? For me, it’s connection. It’s making space for everyone to feel seen and loved. It’s finding the small, sacred moments amid the chaos.

Practical Steps for a Smoother Holiday Season
While no holiday season is stress-free, I’ve found that being proactive helps:

• Communicate early and often: Talk through schedules, expectations and emotions ahead of time—with your spouse, co-parents and even the kids.
• Be flexible: Plans may change, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to stick to a rigid schedule; it’s to create meaningful moments.
• Focus on what unites your family: Whether it’s a shared meal, a game night or a service project, find something that brings everyone together.
• Start with scripture: It reminds us why we’re celebrating and sets the tone for the season and can be incorporated into advent calendars, meal times and worship. Calming my own heart helps me bring peace and comfort to those in my home.

Making Space for Hard Feelings
The holidays can bring up big emotions for everyone, especially kids. One of my children once confided that while he loved being with us, it was hard for him to leave his other parent behind during Christmas. That broke my heart—but it also reminded me how important it is to create a safe space for those feelings.

I’ve learned to ask gentle questions like, “How are you feeling about the holidays this year?” and to listen without trying to fix things. Sometimes, just acknowledging their emotions can make a world of difference. Being the safe place is the greatest gift you might be able to offer the kids in your family.

I’ve found that pointing our attention back to Jesus—the one who understands every hurt and heals every heart—can be a source of comfort for us all.

Building Something New
The beauty of a blended family holiday is that it’s a chance to build something new—a celebration that reflects all the unique pieces of who we are. In our family, we started our holiday celebrations more than a decade ago with two family trees. Now, we combine all our blended memories onto one tree. It’s a small thing, but it’s become a symbol of how we’re all part of something bigger now. We brought the memories from our separate trees into one that showcases the history of all of us.

A Holiday Full of Grace
If you’re in the thick of blended family holidays, I want you to know this: it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. The burnt cookies, the scheduling mix-ups, the tears—they’re all part of the story. Even the ache of how this isn't the idea of what you thought your Christmas would be like is alright. If you're feeling it, likely your partner is, too, and that can be a bond you share. We can hold the hard things along with the wonderful moments.

This season, let’s give ourselves and our families the gift of grace. Let’s laugh at the mishaps, cherish the small wins and lean into the love that brought us together in the first place. Most importantly, let’s turn our eyes to Jesus—the reason we celebrate, the source of our peace, and the foundation of the joy we long for.

Blended families may not fit the Hallmark mold, but that doesn’t make them any less magical. In fact, I’d argue it makes them even more so—because they’re a testament to resilience, forgiveness and the power of love to bring people together.

Here’s to finding joy in the chaos, beauty in the blending, and hope in the One who makes all things new. What’s one way your family creates connection during the holidays? I’d love to hear your stories—drop them in the comments below.

More of our Christmas stories can be found on Far From Flawless Life, my blog.

Turning The Page

2024-08-19T10:21:00.001-04:00

Things are changing in my life, and that is never an easy space for me. I feel it in the rhythms of a new job, another child moving to college, and even in the way my own body feels existing in a new decade of life. It's all so unfamiliar. I would love to be able to see around the bend to what this next season looks like, but I am only able to walk ahead with what I know for today.

There have been tears, there have been smiles, and I wish I could name all the good that will happen. First I must simply live through the daily changes and navigate things one step at a time. Looking back, I must admit that my greatest growth and most significant joys have come through uncertainty. Letting go of control prompts resilience and wisdom as we grow through any struggle to identify who we are.

My dear husband reminds me that in the midst of what is changing, so much also remains consistent: our home, our family, and our commitment to one another along with our faith. It helps to remind myself that these things will be the same no matter what. These anchors provide stability in the winds of a new season. The values that ground me provide a foundation for curiosity and openness to something new and wonderful.

Some of the changes we face are brought by our choices, while others a decided by others. I recently chose to change my field of employment to an area where I feel great passion. I failed to anticipate the significant feeling of grief I would face in letting go. After almost twenty years of working for one company, it is more challenging than I anticipated to let go of the responsibility.

I have felt unsettled. Untethered. Unsure of myself. Uncertain.

What if I fail? What if I don't find my way? What if this change brings more pain than joy? These fears, though powerful, are often rooted in our deep desire for stability and control.

I decided to leave and pursue a new opportunity where my passion and fulfillment took precedence. I'm so grateful for almost two decades with one boss, many familiar coworkers, and a very predictable schedule. The decision stemmed from a deep realization that true satisfaction in life comes from doing what I love and feeling a sense of purpose in my work. While my former job provided stability, it served an industrial field more than people. In contrast, my new role aligns with my values and interests, offering a renewed sense of excitement and purpose.

Uncertainty is a feeling we all face at one point or another, so while it makes me uncomfortable I know it will not always feel this way. That sense of the unknown is the very path to new possibilities. Life is a path that takes us through so many transformations where we grow and change. Part of human existence is adjusting to what we encounter.

While my current season of transition is daunting, it is time to shift out of my comfort zone and into the fertile ground where I may flourish in a new and fulfilling way. Embracing changes and new seasons means embracing life itself, and that is my choice today!

No, You're Not Cool - But Being an Uncool Mom is Actually the Best Kind of Love

2024-06-23T12:00:00.001-04:00

Do you feel like a fish out of water when you're around your teen and their friends? It's not you, it's reality. Most likely, they do not think you are cool. They aren't imitating your fashion or looking to you for tech tips. Your idea of the best movie isn't going to be the one they will choose.

In a world where social media bombards us with picture-perfect families, trendy moms who seem to have it all together, and kids who are always smiling in the latest fashion, it's easy to feel like you're falling short. Let me tell you a secret: I am not a cool mom. And you know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world.

The Myth of the Cool Mom

First, let’s debunk the myth of the cool mom. You know the type: always on top of the latest trends, effortlessly juggling a career, a spotless home, and kids who never misbehave. She hosts post-worthy parties and somehow has time for a social life that rivals a Hollywood celebrity. She’s on Instagram, showing off her flawless life, and you’re left wondering how she does it.

The truth is, she probably doesn’t. Behind the scenes, everyone has their struggles and imperfections. Trying to live up to an impossible standard can be exhausting and ultimately unfulfilling.

Real Love in Uncool Moments

What does it mean to be an uncool mom? For starters, it means embracing the chaos. My house is often a mess, with used dishes strewn about and yesterday's laundry still in the washing machine. My fashion sense is more about comfort than couture. But amidst this chaos, there is love.

Being an uncool mom means showing up for my kids, not just in the picture-perfect moments, but in the messy, challenging ones too. It’s staying up late to help with a school project, even if it means looking like a zombie the next day. It’s choosing a family movie at home over a trendy night out, complete with crumbly popcorn and blankets piled high on the couch. It means finding one-on-one time with each kiddo sometime throughout the week.

Lessons in Authenticity

By not being a cool mom, I’m teaching my kids the value of authenticity. They see that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. They learn that love isn’t about perfection, but about presence. They witness firsthand that it’s okay to be different, to make mistakes, and to grow from them.

My kids know that they can come to me with their problems, not because I have all the answers, but because they trust I will listen without judgment. They see me struggle and sometimes fail, but they also see me get back up, try again, and keep going. This resilience is a powerful lesson that no Instagram feed can teach.

Building Real Connections

Some of the best moments with my kids are the uncool ones: The moments when real connections are built are far from the curated perfection of social media. It's trying on the prom dresses and navigating the insecurities together. It's talking about the first girlfriend with your son and providing a feminine perspective and guidance. It's riding to and from all the places and grabbing Sonic along the way. So much of life happens in the ordinary.

“That might sound boring, but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most.” — Russell (From the movie "UP.")

Celebrating the Uncool

So, to all the uncool moms out there, let’s celebrate our ability to be real. Let’s embrace the messy, the imperfect, and the authentic. Let’s show our kids that love is about showing up, being present, and being ourselves, flaws and all.

At the end of the day, our kids won’t remember how cool we were. They’ll remember the love, the laughter, and the times we were there for them, no matter what. And that, my friends, is the coolest thing of all.

Reflections from Mom at High School Graduation

2024-05-19T01:00:00.024-04:00

My daughter is graduating from high school and it brings about such a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. This is not my first child to graduate, but I find I’m still surprised by the feelings that creep up in unpredictable patterns.

First of all, let me assure you that you get more than 18 summers and high school graduation is not the finish line. You will be the mama to your sons and daughters every single day of your life. However, the role does indeed change and you get to step back a bit to witness your child become more independent and capable. Most of the time, graduation from high school will mark a shift in the way you relate to one another. It is a significant milestone that brings deep pride and a tinge of sadness, along with an intense cause for celebration.

I find myself on memory lane and getting lost in the photos from years that have passed. Memories of the milestones and the everyday moments are treasures to me. The stumbles and heartaches along with the accomplishments each hold meaning and significance. I love the friends who have passed in and out of our circle and the community that joined us along with journey. So much of my mom-life has revolved around the schools, activities and community of my child and I’m grateful for my identity as a mother.

I have learned so many of my own lessons through each season. While my child was getting a diploma, I was also being educated in parenting. Every moment from the sleepless nights of infancy to the drama of dating and driving are a testament to the dedication that being an active, involved parent demands. Parenting is more than guiding and nurturing your child, it’s also about learning and growing alongside them. I’ve learned patience, resilience, and the fierce meaning of unconditional love. I’ve been challenged to understand beyond frustrations and strived to endure with grace more obstacles than I thought I was able to overcome.
As my graduate embarks on a new chapter, I am full of hope and excitement for the next chapter. There is a hint of sadness and lots of nostalgia. Sometimes I long for the days when she was little and my presence could heal every wound. Now my job is to empower her own independence and provide support for her goals.

I know that this is the natural order – for my children to grow, find their own paths, and take their part in our vast and wonderful world. I’ve also seen how our relationship with one another doesn’t come to an end. In fact, though she may not need me in the same way she once did, I will always be the steady anchor my child needs in their ever-changing worlds. We get to be friends and peers in a way that will bring a new kind of closeness.

No matter where life takes my dear graduate, she will be forever loved, cherished, and part of my heart. Let the celebrations begin and may the future be as boundless as the sky, filled with possibilities!

The Impact of PLAY Grows With Your Children

2024-04-26T12:16:00.003-04:00

As a new mom, one of my daily goals was to spend 15 minutes each day on the floor playing with my baby. I was able to put away daily demands and enter their world as a partner. When kids get older, it is easy to leave that playful spirit behind. Academic pressures, social dynamics, and the flurry of extracurricular activities often push play into the margins of daily life.

Studies show that there are untold benefits found during playtime and they do not end at adolescence. Keep the joy and fun alive in your home even as you navigate the winding road of middle and high school. By being the safe place to let down any pretense, we build connections and have more influence during a season when it is naturally dwindling away. By providing space to be carefree, you are creating the very thing that enables them to retain joy and creativity. You also extend your influence as you help to instill priorities and lessons in your emerging teen.

When life becomes complicated, it gets more important to be in the moment and enjoy time together. The demands of adolescence create pressures and stress, you get to be the release valve that nurtures the spirit of your child through a challenging season. We can ensure they have a spark of pleasure that makes life fulfilling and become a resource as they navigate growing up into greater responsibilities.

Lighten up! Our teen begins to tune me out when all they hear are corrections and instructions. Embrace their interests and activate the bonding that happens when you both relax and share experiences together. Mutual participation will create memories and touchpoints for the future.

Make room for joy. Incorporate playfulness into their academic pursuits by using study games or visiting museums and historical sites. Create DIY science experiments and make learning memorable. Let your child be wrong and learn to process failure in a way that builds resilience. Be your child's advocate and partner.

Encourage social play. Since peer relationships become increasingly important, facilitate group activities with their friends. If you begin in younger adolescence to organize friendship activities, your teens will continue as they mature to recreate those experiences when the responsibility transfers to self. For example, we made several group hikes during the middle school years and later these teens continued doing so without their parents. Youth groups and clubs often provide loose structures for "playtime" through this season of life.

Create a playful environment. Keep a shelf of games accessible and have art supplies handy. Let your sons and daughters try new recipes in the kitchen. Create cozy spaces for relaxation and reading. Our patio and firepit are spaces that get regular use as spaces to just be, as well as gathering spots for friends. Play can become a seamless part of everyday rhythms in your home.

Play looks different in the teen years. It might include team sports or membership at a gym. Sometimes it will be a board game, other times a video game. Creativity may include artwork or videography. Sometimes we pay for play like an Escape Room or Go-Kart night out. Other times play means "turning off our brain" to stream something and laugh together. A form of role play happens when our teens experiment with new activities.

Your presence as a personality will shine as they notice your unique and fun ways. We want our children to really know us and what we love. Let the spirit of who you are come through as your connection shifts from what can do for them as a mom to who you are as an interesting person. Incorporate your teens into your hobbies like gardening or bird-watching. Be an example of a grown-up who allows time and space for playfulness in life. There are so many benefits to play that it is worth investing the effort to join them in the practice.

While the demands of adolescence may change, the need for play remains. By nurturing our children's playful, creative spirits, we get to help them through the challenges of maturity and help them retain that spark of joy that makes life truly fulfilling. Let's keep the fun alive, one playful moment at a time!

Secrets to Being a Great Thrifter!

2024-03-28T15:47:00.001-04:00

In my household, we love to go thrifting at second-hand or consignment stores. My daughter and I have a weekly Saturday tradition of going out for coffee, then "thrifting." Often stores are cluttered but we find ourselves drawn to these things with a past. Clothes that may look dated on the hanger jump to life with new styling or a youthful eye. Dishes or little figurines that collected dust for years may simply be overlooked. I like to think about the origin and life these items had before they arrived at the second-hand store. Did the baby outgrow these shoes before they were ever worn? Was that figurine gifted to a mother? We love to wander and wonder.

Still, it can be overwhelming and so there are a few things that help us identify where to look, what to bring home and how to determine value.

Begin with a quick scan, then go deep in the areas where you know you have a need. Do you have an upcoming event for which you need a dress? Review all the dresses on the rack in your size range. Are you looking for a coat, blazer or athletic equipment? Go directly to those areas and see what is available. Unlike a department store, if you don't see what you are seeking, then you are out of luck.

Embrace classics and neutrals. Shop for traditional over trendy. While you're looking, keep an eye out for wardrobe basics. A well made white button-down or designer blazer will never go out of style. If you find one, it's worth it! Exception: go for a trend if the price point is right, low 'cost per wear.'

Skip something you don't love. Too often I have tried to make something work that wasn't exactly right for me. Predictably, I regret the purchase. If the size or color aren't quite right, then pass. Anything damaged is likely to remain in your project-pile, so save your sanity and your dollars by leaving those things behind.

A question that I ask before purchasing items for the home (like decor or seasonal purchases) is, "Where will I put this right now?" Again, if it is requires a project or adjustment then I'm unlikely to follow through and I'm adding to the clutter in my own home.

Do you collect anything? I'm not a big collector, but I love to decorate with specific colors and so if I see something in that pallet, then I'll consider whether I have a place for it.

Another thing to look for are whimsical items you might use just for fun. I like to put tea cups in the garden or a seasonal figurine to set on your coffee table. If you love Corgis or tea cups, you will find treasures to bring home. Become more environmentally friendly and consider gifting curated finds, also. Often the time and thought, along with the treasure-hunting story are meaningful to the recipient.

A Quick Idea of 5 Things to Always Buy Used:

Quality Cookware that remains in good condition. Stainless steel, Le Creuset or barely used dishes for your college kid can all be cleaned and look like new.
Designer Accessories. Name brand handbags, scarves or jewelry are hot items!
New With Tag Basics. Occasionally you will come across brand new items and if you will use it, it's hard to go wrong.
Additions to a Personal Collection. This is for those who enjoy Fiestaware or Precious Moments.
Whatever brings joy - Does it conjure a memory? Remind you of a special time? Inspire you?

Like people, everything found in a thrift store has a back story, and a future. Every item we encounter has past experiences and unknown potential. Grab a friend and spend some time this week at a thrift store. You may find it’s something you love!

Roadblocks to Love - Beyond Romance

2024-02-12T02:00:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking about love lately, have you? Valentine's holds a special place in my heart and I've always tried to celebrate true love during this time. Real love is so much more romance.

Love, the powerful force that binds us together, comes in various forms beyond the realm of romantic relationships. We often associate love with romantic entanglements, but it extends far beyond, touching friendships, family bonds, and connections with the world around us. However, this beautiful journey is not always smooth; it's riddled with roadblocks that test our resilience and commitment to love in its many facets.

Expectations and Disappointments: We are all vulnerable to being let down.

Love often comes with expectations, be it expecting reciprocity in relationships or anticipating specific outcomes. When reality doesn't align with these expectations, disappointment can set in, creating a roadblock to love. Learning to manage expectations and embracing the unpredictability of relationships is crucial. I have found this to be especially true with my children as they grow into their own unique personhood.

Fear of Vulnerability: It is risky to be real.

Vulnerability is the cornerstone of deep connections, but the fear of being vulnerable can be a significant roadblock to love. Opening up emotionally, sharing insecurities, and exposing our true selves can be daunting. Overcoming this fear requires trust, patience, and a willingness to be authentic, fostering stronger bonds with those we care about. We will never truly feel loved if we are fearful of sharing our true selves.

Unresolved Past Wounds: We must not build walls of self-protection.

Baggage from past experiences, whether in relationships or life in general, can cast a shadow on our ability to love openly. Unresolved past wounds can create trust issues, fear of commitment, or an unwillingness to let others in. Addressing and healing these wounds is essential for clearing the path to love. Take time to assess your ability to seek connection in a healthy way.

Communication Breakdowns: We all have them.

One of the fundamental roadblocks to love is communication breakdown. Clear and honest communication is the bridge that connects hearts, and when it falters, it can lead to distance and emotional disconnection. over than

Time and Prioritization: Our schedules are often the enemy relationships.

In our fast-paced lives, time becomes a precious commodity. Balancing work, personal pursuits, and relationships is challenging, often leading to neglect in one or more areas. Making time for loved ones and prioritizing relationships is crucial to prevent love from being overshadowed by the demands of daily life.

Love is an unfolding journey filled with both joy and challenges. Navigating roadblocks requires introspection, patience, and a commitment to growth. The reward of connection is worth overcoming any hurdle on the path to connection.

On a personal note - I have loved deeply and experienced extreme rejection in the love category. Ultimately, I have found the only love which is unchanging comes from the God of the Bible. Trusting Him and learning his ways lets me love others well. If you wonder where to start? Try beginning there.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God." I John 4:7

Have you ever tried a spending freeze?

2024-01-04T12:00:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year! I'm slow to transition into a new year and new habits. Christmas leaves me spinning, so it's usually early January before I'm able to slow down and consider goals and habits that I want to continue for the next year. One that I often repeat is a spending freeze.

After the holiday season, I feel a little out of control with spending. It seems money is required at every turn and the outflow is overwhelming. A personal spending freeze always helps me feel like I'm taking control of my own finances and self. For me, the first of the year is a natural time to slow the torrent of spending.

You've probably heard of "Dry January" or all the fitness goals that roll out for the start of a new year. A Spending Freeze is just what it sounds like, only there are certain built-in allowances that must be paid (hello, utility bill). Obviously you can't spend literally zero for a month - you need to eat and get around. The key is to cut nonessential spending in order to save, pay off debt or put the money to work in another way.

How does a spending freeze work?

Keep spending on the normal essential. Monthly bills, groceries and medicine, personal hygiene items and the like are things we need and must spend money to provide. The goal isn't to deprive yourself or your family but to filter purchases by actual need.

Set the time limit. Will you aim for one month? Will you try for one week? They key is to exercise the muscle of self-discipline and the actual time limit varies per your family needs. Do you have a child with a birthday during this time? A gift and dinner out don't count against you when there is a reason. You're in charge of your own self, so you get to set the limits. They key is to stick with them.

No eating out or coffee shops. For a set time, make your coffee and dinners at home. Bring lunch with you to the office.

Nix online shopping. It's just too easy to add to cart and purchase. While you're at it, take this time to unsubscribe from all the ads that hit your inbox or text notifications. You don't want the marketers to have a direct hit to your wallet.

Look for free entertainment. Get outside, visit the library (or Libby app) and get together with your friends for an at-home movie night. Go for a winter drive with your partner or do an online fitness class.

Do not purchase new clothes, or anything that isn't essential. Unless you need socks/undies or your children need to replace something, just stay away from retail.

The quick rule is to ask yourself whether you really need to purchase something. There are many great sales, but do you really need another cute top? Can you wait a few weeks before purchasing the new shoes? Challenge yourself to pause and be creative. You will feel empowered by not falling prey to all the marketing schemes that tell you what you must buy now.

What will you do with the money you save? This is the fun part! Even is you are going to use the money to pay back holiday debt, that's a great goal. Could you save it towards a summer vacation? What about a family treat, like season passes to a entertainment spot? Is there a non-profit that could benefit from your sacrifice? Are you looking to replace something at home, like an appliance or piece of furniture?

There are so many ways to implement a spending freeze. Get your family on board, or try it alone for the first time. You will be surprised at easily we normally spend without consideration. Try to stop spending for a bit and reap the rewards of your own self discipline. It's a great way to demonstrate to our kids that we don't always need something new.

My Teens' Favorite Holiday Traditions

2023-12-07T09:00:00.001-05:00

When you get past some attitude and embrace a bit of snarky dialogue, having teen is a lot of fun. Sometimes, it might feel like the holiday 'magic' is a bit lost in these older ages, but I'm hear to share that Christmas can still be a time that builds connection and creates memories...which is something of even greater value as their time in your 'nest' starts to wind down.

As a mom, there are so many traditions that I bring to the family every year: We attend the Christmas Eve service, pack and send Shoeboxes, participate in a daily Advent door reading, annual ornaments, Christmas light road tours, holiday date with mom, ice skating, traveling to visit family, visit to see Santa, decorate gingerbread houses, bake cookies and deliver to neighbors, party with friends at home, and the list goes on.

A few traditions seem to fall away. In middle school they stopped wanting to visit Santa. It became harder for the teens with their own social calendar and job schedules to participate in our family friends party. Traveling to visit relatives wasn't on top of their priority list. So I asked, what do you still love?

After much pulling of teeth, they admit to loving these the most:

"I really like just chilling and watching Hallmark movies with mom."

"The Advent doors are always slap."

"You know I like eating big meals as a fam."

"The advent calendar is the best because it's a little celebration everyday."

"The annual ornaments are great because they hold a memory every year."

"Christmas light drives are fantastic and just feel so festive."

"I like the advent doors, the holiday date with mom and the stockings."

If you have older children, ask them what they like! It's fun to hear their perspective...and it may free you from something that just doesn't resonate any longer.

Yes, the traditions may not look exactly the same as your holiday did when you had young children. Still, your older kids and teens still love and appreciate the family fun of holiday traditions. No matter what season of life, carry something from the past into the future and hang on to the memories while making more. The most valuable point of traditions is the togetherness and that they foster. With teens, it's never been a better time to create that point of connection.

Other Ideas for Holiday Fun with Teens:

- Walk the dog through a holiday light show.
- Deliver cookies to your neighbors, assisted living home or fire station.
- Go to a parade, they are fun and festive.
- Pick up hot chocolate (or make your own) and go for a Christmas light drive. Let your teen pick the playlist.
- Have a wrapping party together.
- Take them to a thrift store and provide $$ to purchase a festive sweater.
- Enjoy a winter hike.
- Have a date with mom and make it somewhere they love.
- Let them invite a bunch of friends over for holiday movies.

What ideas do you have?