Words By Wendy

A Reminder to Myself

2011-08-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

The Bible reminds us to pay our taxes and pray for our leaders. And that all governments are put in place by God - and that one day, every knee will bow. Can't think of a verse or passage where Jesus was disrespectful to the leaders of His day - even as they crucified Him.

I won't even get into the whole Christianity does not = Americanism. There are plenty of places that explain it better than I could.

redletterchristians.org

(as in following Jesus' words (the ones in red lettes in some New Testaments) )

sojourners.com

So in church can we just concentrate on worshipping Jesus? Learning to become more like Him? And loving like He did? And remembering what God requires of us who call ourselves Christians?

Micah 6:8 - "Do justice. Love mercy. And walk humbly with God."

Psalm 46:10 was my personal verse today.

“Be still (another version puts it "Cease Striving" - and that's a tall order for me to follow sometimes)
and KNOW (accept, meditate on)
that (what? Here is is....)
I am God" (i.e. He does not need my help!)

SUMMER HIGHLIGHTS 2011

2011-08-21T17:33:00.000-07:00

Dorney Park with our friends the McCarthys

Nick's first trip with the youth group to Harvey Cedars (a town on Long Beach Island, NJ)

The Bible camp there has a week just for junior highers - about 70 from our church joined some other churches. A week of great speakers, worship bands, sports, beach time, and all the crazy fun junior highers can have by just being the awesome kids that they are

My sister Kristen's son, Matthew, age 10, flew out to see us and we had an awesome time showing him parts of PA, NYC, and the Jersey Shore.

Here are some pictures that capture our time with him (he's an awesome kid, self assured, very polite, and definitely has the gift of encouragement - I'll never forget him cheering Nick on during 2 outdoor summer league basketball games.) He also has a great laugh.

Making the "Lemonade for Sale" sign

First customer - Great Uncle Bob drove all the way from NJ in his BMW and

paid the boys $5 each - what a guy!

Ocean City, NJ

All tuckered out on the way home

A favorite stop in NYC - Dylan's Candy

(Dylan Lauren - don't each too much or you won't fit

in her father Ralph's jeans)

A Very Good Tuesday

2010-09-14T11:51:00.001-07:00

Today started out pretty well considering I went to bed a decent time, slept well (not always a possibility, even medicated), and did Yoga while Nick was finishing his homework. Did I say Yoga? As in exercise?

Wonders never cease! Yes, I took advantage of Comcast On Demand and did Yoga - for beginners. Now I know the Mountain Pose, Downward Dog (w/ my own accommodations), Child's Pose, etc. And I saluted the Son. Not the sun like the instructor said, but the One who made the Sun. I may never worship again like I did this morning, but I am full of hope!

It felt great, gave me energy, and didn't hurt my knees.

Then as Nick stood at the bus stop with his buds, I wore my Jackie-O sunglasses and hid incognito in the car with the paper and my coffee lest he be abducted by some stranger right under my nose (it happens, right?).

Then I was off to Bible Study - haven't been to a bible study at this church in several years - have had them in my house for a long time for other people. It was great, but always a lot of work, emotionally and spiritually. It was great to be refreshed this morning as I heard Priscilla Shirer (a black Beth Moore if you ask me! daughter of Tony Evans - awesome speaker) talk about the life of David. I'm excited to see how God works in my heart to help be me more like Him and as I mother my son into manhood.

Then I went shopping at my some of my favorite haunts - the thrift stores run by the Mennonites in Souderton. Scored: Coldwater Creek sweater for $8, candle holder in purple and green for $4, and a few other goodies. With what I dropped off at the back in terms of donations, I came out even thanks to the tax receipt.

Didn't hurt that I ran into 3 friends doing the exact same thing - one in particular, Judi M, reminded me how much I am loved. Sometimes you need that reminder!

After that it was time to pick up Nick so he could head home to hear President Obama speak to him. We started the tradition last year, that whomever is president, we will stop school and listen. Unfortunately, our district does not air the speech as some do - last year, they cited "technology concerns" as if it was too hard to hook up. Not that I believed that, mind you.

Many other districts around here followed suit. But this year, they wised up. Apparently, the figured out how to hook things up and work a President's live speech to school children into the curriculum. Amazing!

Not our district - they took the easy way out to avoid offending people. Whatever. (I really hate that word but to spare us all, I'll leave it at "whatever"). So I took Nick home, and the following is my new Facebook post:

thank you Mr. President for telling my son he needs to put forth "Effort" and not ride the coat tails of his natural ability. And for reminding us that his potential is "God-given". Wish you had been on my couch instead of on my TV when he said "since you took me out of school for the speech, can I just stay home for the afternoon?" HELLO! Have you not been listening to the President?? ♥

Then.......I headed to the middle school to be trained on "stream mapping" for an outdoor field trip. The highlight of the day was cooking with friends at an evening Pampered Chef party on my deck..complete w/ the firepit (tended my my hubby) and a warm cherry dessert.

All in all, a very good Tuesday.

HELD

2010-08-19T18:13:00.000-07:00

The following is one of my favorite songs by Natalie Grant.
Natalie Grant

The song was written by her friend, a mother who knows.
this says it all

HELD

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life ~ And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell ~ We'd be held

Visiting Daddy

2010-08-14T18:12:00.001-07:00

On August 31, Daddy will be gone 20 years...one year more of missing him,

one year closer to seeing him again

Today I visited my dad's grave. For only the second time since 1993.But since he doesn't inhabit the ground, I haven't felt the need to make a yearly pilgrimage, so to speak, to the grave marker. It's just a plaque. He's not there.

But as I get older, as as Nick gets older, I have felt the need to return. And I'm glad I did. Obviously, it was long overdue. As soon as Wayne found it (my directionally-impaired self could not seem to find "Section C"), I lost it. I just started sobbing. And sobbing.

I was on my knees in seconds, without thought of the pain that usually I'm so aware of when I get down that low. I tore away the grass and dirt with no thought to my manicured nails. No thought to anything except how much I love my father.

Next to his marker was another one. That one needed even more clearing and cleaning. It had been there since August 19, 1955.

I was sobbing just as much when I cleared that one. For that one was engraved with the name of his first wife and the sister I never knew.

My dad's grave had his name on it and the brother I never knew.

Let me backtrack.

My dad was born in 1908. He married Jean and they had 4 children. Jean and the 2 youngest, Jimmy and Susan, were killed in the Pennylvania Flood of '55. (My dad was at work at the time and got a call that Jean and the children were "gone".) They had been vacationing at a Christian family camp in the Poconos with lots of other moms and kids. Between a hurricane and some other freak conditions, hundreds of people died on August 19th that year.

Click here for a link to the book that details the events of the flood.

My dad, a pastor, flew in from Morocco (where he'd been working) to JFK Airport;his two oldest sons shepherded him through the press who were anxious to know "how does it feel to be a pastor and have God wipe out your family?"

Daddy knew it wasn't God - it was a terrible act of nature, and a human tragedy; the kind that happens because we live in the world we do. What he also knew that it was God who gave him the ability to get through it. He described the spirit of God giving him a kind of "holy anesthesia" - holding him together so he could do what needed to be done.

One thing that needed to be done was search for bodies. He found Jean's. And Susan's. But never Jimmy's. That was a sadness he carried with him till the day he died. Never having found his son's body - after all, he was only 8. Susan had been 6.

Years later, my dad married my mom - then I came along, followed by my sister. We were fortunate and blessed to have a dad who loved us so well that all the blogs in the world could not detail. He loved Jesus and loved his girls.

My dad related to Horatio Spafford who lost his four daughters on November 21, 1873. While crossing the Atlantic the S.S. Ville Du Havre was struck by an iron sailing vessel and two hundred and twenty six people lost their lives, including all four of hymn writer Spafford's daughters.

Somehow, his wife Anna survived. She sent a telegram to Horatio with the words "Saved Alone."

Spafford then took a ship to England, going past the place where his daughters had died. The hymn "It Is Well" was written in 1873 in mid-Atlantic.

When I was a kid my dad sang with gusto in church that old hymn he loved....

"When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows rolll

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say

It is well.It is well.with my soul"

I wasn't the only one crying today. My husband cried today too. For the father-in-law he only knew a few years. My dad had been praying for him since Wayne was 6 weeks old, not knowing he was growing up nearby in Pennsylvania. He kneeled every day at 4:30 am, outside my bedroom door (before he went to work), to pray for the man I would someday marry...those prayers and so many more on my behalf were answered.

I had a daddy who prayed - to a God who loves me even more than he could. Thank you Daddy - I miss you. More and more all the time.

Love Me, Never Leave Me

2010-02-19T19:38:00.001-08:00

This is a title of a great book about the fear of abandonment and issues of control that often come along with it.

Control freak anyone? I'm learning lots about myself and highly recommend this book.

Love Me, Never Leave Me - by Marilyn Meberg.

Find it used at www.half.com or at www.womenoffaith.com

Merry Christmas 2009!

2009-12-08T09:15:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas 2009! Wayne, Nick and I remember you all fondly as your cards, letters, and pictures come in (and blog posts!)

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is celebrating Christmas with friends. Every year, I host a "Christmas Coffee" - nothing like 20 good girlfriends and fresh roasted beans.

NICK turned 11 in November and celebrated with a Wal-Mart Scavenger Hunt, pizza & cake. With his bounty of gift cards and cash, he bought an electric guitar (among other things). Yikes! He loves art and playing the oboe.

WENDY continues to substitute teach, work a few afternoons a week at our local hospital, sell AVON and above all, maintain a thriving social life!

WAYNE had his 25th HS reunion this year and had a great time reconnecting with old friends - one even gave him tickets to a Phillies playoff game. He and his Dad sat with the players' families - it was awesome. Dietrich Associates had a rough year with the economy but we're hanging in there!

TRIPS & TRAVEL are a big part of our lives. Highlights this year were trips to Ocean City MD, Cape Cod, and Colorado to see Wendy's family. We also see Wayne's folks often as they are nearby in Lancaster County.

Have a blessed Christmas and a great start to 2010!

Love, Wayne, Wendy & Nick

Learning to be a Self-Advocate

2009-12-03T21:12:00.000-08:00

Nick, on Wednesday, learned a valuable lesson. The power of self-advocating. He has become increasingly frustrated (as have we) with the Everyday Math curriculum used in his school district at the elementary level. It is one that relies too much on manipulatives (counting on fingers, counting circles, etc) and does not rely on "math facts". Consequently, students are still being groomed in the times tables in the fall of 5th grade!

He's in the gifted program and his scores on standardized/intelligence tests are almost off the charts so our concern is that he be challenged in school. It doesn't seem to be a major problem in any subject except math.

In order to effect a change, we needed to initiate a meeting with 3 teachers and 2 administrators (the homeroom teacher, math teacher, gifted teacher, the gifted supervisor, and the principal). All of them, plus us, were in a conference room with Nick whom we have made an official member of the GIEP (Gifted Individualized Education Plan) Team.

Our goal was to require his teacher to give him challenging assignments once he demonstrated that he is proficient in the math being taught. Previously, his only challenges were "extra papers" that could earn "extra tickets" - they did not interest him at all, as they were skills he was capable of at the end of first grade.

During the meeting, we tried to stick to the main point - that Nick is frustrated, needs more challenge, and he needs to be able to self-advocate. I proceeded to explain why the math curriculum is deficient and why it concerns us as parents. It wasn't about his teacher, or her teaching ability (she is a very kind and competent educator)

We got what we needed and Nick was a huge part of that. He explained in very direct and convincing terms why he deserves to be challenged and educated to the level his ability necessitates.

Great reading for all parents is William Bennett's The Educated Child.

Master Class - Skincare & Makeup

2009-11-18T06:18:00.000-08:00

Skincare & Makeup alert: here’s an excerpt from a newsletter I issued to my clients…enjoy!

SKIN CARE 101

Skin Type is classified by the amount of oil (sebum) the skin produces. Dry skin has too little, Normal skin has the right amount, and Oily skin has too much. If your T-zone and cheek area differ, you have Combination Skin. Skin type is genetically predisposed, but is also the result of environment, stress, and diet.

Key Question: What concerns you most about your skin?
How does your face feel 10 minutes after washing?

Daily Rx for Skin:
1. Cleanse
2. Scrub or Mask (if desired)
3. Tone
4. Repair Product (if desired)
5. Moisturizer
6. Eye Crème

COLOR THEORY 101

Color Theory applies to the face or complexion in terms of undertone. Undertones are the underlying color of the skin, and are either:
• Cool (blue undertone)
• Warm (yellow undertone)
• Neutral (balanced blue and yellow undertones)

You can wear whatever makeup colors you want to. However, you will look most natural wearing the colors of your undertone. Wearing the opposite undertone, you’ll look more dramatic.

All makeup (lipstick, foundation, etc.) starts out in the factory either blue or yellow

Lip Tip - Want your lipstick to last?

• First blend concealer on your lips. Just like primer before you paint your walls, it will help your lip color to "stick".
• Then, outline your lips and fill them in with the liner. Pretend you are coloring and color within the lines! Filling in is very important! Otherwise, when lipstick naturally wears off, you will be left with an unsightly "outline"!
• Then, apply lip color over lipliner.
• DO NOT press lips together and rub! Just blot gently with a tissue. Lightly dust powder over lips (thru a one ply tissue) if you wish and apply a second coat. It's insurance!
• DONE!

FUN FACTS:

• in the golden days of Hollywood, makeup artists used tape and string to pull up aging brows (sounds like fun)
• don't shower or bathe for more than 20 minutes or you'll risk drying out the skin
• you have a window of 3 minutes to apply moisturizer after bathing - applied to slightly damp skin, it will seal in moisture thereby halting evaporation
• 59% of women age 18 and over cite dry skin as their major concern
• 52% of all women say their top concern is wrinkles
• normal skin has a protective barrier, much like Saran Wrap
• sensitive skin has a low tolerance for fragrances & dyes - identifying what disrupts the barrier and protecting it with the right moisturizer = thicker skin
• excessive daily scrubbing can cause the skin to produce more sebum (pore clogging oil)
• scrub or peel only 2 - 3 times/week
• a blackhead is a clogged pore exposed to light - the light oxidizes the bacteria and turns it black
• a whitehead is a clogged pore not exposed to light
• lotions adequate in the summer months leave skin vulnerable in the winter - listen to your skin and adjust your products accordingly

ON BEING ADOPTED

2009-11-07T10:30:00.001-08:00

Last Saturday, Wayne was driving Nick and I to the airport as we were headed to Colorado to see family. Out of the blue, and on the Blue Route, known around here are Rte. 476, Nick says "Today in Mr. Graver's class, we had to list three things we are thankful for. Then we had to pick which one we were most thankful for." I picked "being adopted by you guys."

For any of you adoptive parents out there, Wayne highly recommends this book:
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self.

At any rate, this was something Nick had said before and he knows his entire story - every detail. And it usually makes him quite happy. However, true to what this book suggests, he is coming to an age where he is mentally able to make some sad conclusions:

"You know what I just realized? The only reason I could be adopted is because my real parents didn't want me." And he started to well up with tears. Needless to say, so did we. Poor Wayne is driving in crazy traffic and I wished I could jump out of the front seat and hug him.

I asked Nick how long he'd been mulling this over. "It just hit me, right now," he said.

Wow. Even though I knew the answer, I knew it was important to ask him how it made him feel. He is very emotinally in-touch and he likes to verbalize his emotions.

He told us how it made him feel; we listened. The first thing we said was how normal it was to feel like that and and that even though we "get it", we won't ever really understand that feeling because we weren't adopted. We don't know how it feels.

We spent the rest of the time reminding him of some very important things. He knows what abortion is, what childhood slavery is, and what being "dropped on a doorstep" is (a friend once told him he was a Nazi and that his parents left him on a doorstep - true to form, Nick told him to stop but when he didn't , he let him have it. The kid was sore the rest of the day).

So we reminded him that his mom loved him. That she left him at the hospital where he could be cared for. And that she came to visit him 4 months later when he was admitted with pneumonia. (I'm so glad I know that - what a gift to be able to give him!) And that she would be so proud of him.

What I didn't think of until talking with another adoptive mom, is that he needs permission to love both her and me. He doesn't have to choose. We adopted Nick in April of 2001, when he was 2 1/2. That November, when he turned 3, I wrote this:

To Mirela ~

What through, while the wonders of God exploring
I cannot your mind or your feelings attend
Nor can comprehend the gift I’ve received
Sweet baby Nicholas, the enthusiast’s friend

Why couldn’t you care for his brothers and sisters?
When you birthed him, why did you leave him alone?
Please don’t think I judge you, I’m just glad he’s my own

Thank you for leaving him at the hospital that day
And for the visit four months later, though you could not stay
Were you poor? Where you ill? Was your mind not quite right?
Whatever the reason, it’s really all right

I tell him about you, and your husband too
How God had other plans for me and for you
I know where you live and how I wish I could look
At you and ponder our storybook

You gave him those big, bright brown eyes
That infectious giggle - that smile so wide
I give him love, and teach him new words
He notices everything, even the birds

He’s learning to count and play “hide and seek”
He brings pennies to church that he saves every week
Maybe someday we’ll meet you but until then we’ll pray
That someone will say “Jesus loves you” today

What through, while the wonders of God exploring
I cannot your mind or your feelings attend
Nor can comprehend the gift I’ve received
Sweet baby Nicholas, the enthusiast’s friend

I will always remember the gift that you gave
You changed my life forever that day

11/22/01
Nicholas’ 3rd birthday
and Thanksgiving Day, 2001

A horse is a horse, of course!

2009-11-03T15:21:00.000-08:00

My favorite thing to do in all the world is ride a horse. I haven't done it in years, until today, mostly due to the cost of renting a horse for an hour's pleasure ride. Other things are dominating my financial priorities lately - but....I really need to make it more of a budgeted priority.

Today, courtesy of my sister's friend here in Colorado, I rode a beautiful horse. Ruby Tuesday is her name and she's got a smooth gait, a calm sense about her and is just all around great pleasure horse. As I rounded the end of the ring where my sister and her friend were watching, they told me "your butt's a little off center - on the right" - as I continued to ride, I tried to overcompensate by leaning left and putting most of my considerable weight on the left side of the saddle.

It didn't help. Not only did it not help, it got worse. By the time I was in mid-canter, the saddle came completely undone (if you know horses, you know they inflate their belly while you're tightening the girth because they don't want that saddle too tight! Well, by the time you ride for a while, what was "comfortable" for the horse is "undone" for the rider!)

Once I realized I was going down, come hell or high water, I purposed to slide off slowly, casually, and land on my butt (not my arm or shoulder) - which I did. Poor Nick was in tears. My sister was cracking up hysterically (and still was 2 hours later).

I've been on horses since I was 10 years old. And I've been thrown off a few. So this was quite different - just a casual "slip and slide". Even the horse just slowed to stop and stood there, looking at me like "Well...get up!"

I did eventually, and felt fine. Until later when I had to use an ice pack the size of a bath towel to swaddle myself!

Still, it was worth it. I even got back on, post-fall for a few more smooth canters. Watching Nick ride was awesome too. He was 5 last time he'd been on a horse and he loved it. Jeannie, Ruby Tuesday's owner, led the horse around on a lead while Nick enjoyed a slow walk.

Then we groomed him when we were done and fed her her favorite treats - what a perfect afternoon.

This Is It

2009-11-01T21:53:00.000-08:00

I just came back from the Michael Jackson movie, "This Is It". We 4 ladies really enjoyed it - it was a testament to his immense talent, his childlike-ness, and the gracious, humble way he interacted with those working for him.

The "Man In The Mirror" song reminded me of Romans 12:1-2 and how transformation is at the core of what needs to happen to all of us on a regular basis. Our church is currently doing a study on Transformation and it has been a great encouragement to me and I hope to many others. Part of the process of spiritual transformation involves regular practice of the disciplines like prayer and solitude.

I wonder how much solitude entertainers/athletes in the public eye are able/willing to get. I've been reading a bit lately about three of my favorite entertainers and athletes and they all seem to have been pushed into their career by stage crazy parents who manipulated them and used them to accomplish selfish goals.

Despite all three of them having achieved monumental success in terms of their craft, and despite financial rewards beyond what most of us can imagine, the pain in the lives of these three was and is so palpable.

I wonder what it would have been like to, at some point, get off the treadmill they were on and pursue a life that was calm, happy, and centered - on the things that truly were fulfilling and deeply satisfying.

It makes me think of Eric Liddell, who despite being a champion athlete, gave it all up. Not because he hated it or because he found himself managing a lifestyle beyond his control.

Eric left it behind because transformation was at the core of his being. He regularly spent time in solitude, and prayer, and having conversations with God. And he knew God had something bigger and more important in store for him.

Read his story. Show your kids the movie - Chariots of Fire you'll be glad you did. Eric Liddell is portrayed beautifully in this song:

"...there once was a boy who could run like the wind

Given to lead, he was every man's friend at the line

But the light from the cross made his dream appear small

And to their surprise he went far from it all

For the love of His Savior, for one priceless jewel

The could not understand so they called him a fool

He is no fool if he would choose

To give the thing he can not keep

To gain what he can never lose

To see the treasure in one soul

That far outshines the brightest gold

He is no fool, he is no fool.."

(from He is No Fool by Twila Paris)

"...

Family Fun

2009-10-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

Wayne was at the Phillies game the night Jimmy Rollins had the great hit in the 9th inning...what a birthday present! We'd had Wayne's 25th HS reunion several days earlier and a high school pal hooked him up with 2 tickets in the players' section. After the game, Wayne high-fived Mrs. Jamie Moyer. Pretty cool.

Nick and I stayed home to bake.

Memories like that are the best.

COLORADO BOUND

2009-10-25T17:59:00.001-07:00

Nick and I are off to Colorado in a few days to see my mom, aunt & uncle, and my sister Kristen and her family - Kristen's newest addition (and the reason we're VERY excited about out trip) is her precious daughter, Karli.

ABUSE OF POWER

2009-10-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a long time - I write often but not always on here. It's my blog - if I want to update it, I will! Sooner or later LOL.

Billy Joel's song "Extremes" describes me in more ways than one - and it definitely describes my blogging style.

I've been contemplating lately how my dad handled bullies - he'd seen many by the time I was born (he was 57 by then but I'm willing to bet that memories of his physically abusive, alcoholic dad (who is rumored to have committed suicide) were still fresh in his mind).

What's really troubling to me is that he faced bullies at church. Can you imagine? Of all places. Somehow it makes me think of the "sheep and the goats" passage in Scripture. The people I'm remembering from the 70's and 80's make my blood cold.

Abuse of power is dangerous anywhere, and happens in church too. My dad, a pastor (not the church's pastor but an ordained minister who had had his own churches both here and abroad) was widely considered the church "prayer warrior" along with a few other saints. Just last month I was at the Women of Faith Convention in Philadelphia and met up with two old friends....both of whom my dad prayed for faithfully - Joanne was quick to remind me how much she counted on Bill's prayers.

I didn't find out till adulthood about the "bullies" my dad faced in prayer meeting. And on the elder board. Comments like "sit down old man" and the like. And the ones that bullied him, harassed other sensitive, fragile, easy-to-pick on men. Takes a lot of courage to bully men like that.

I wonder what he'd say to me today? I've found myself several times on the end of attacks from church leaders. Sometimes I knew about it. Other times, I only know because I've been told by others (who find it quite disturbing and threaten to tell church leadership). The troubling thing is, it's not just me. This is a pattern of attempted dominance and coercion with a trail of victims.

I've been a bully too. With my words. Sometimes I'm brutally honest with the emphasis on the brutal. When your words and emotions take over, you find out real quickly who your friends are. The ones I really cherish are the ones who say "Whoa, Wendy - hold on. Rein it in girl!" Or the ones who call me from out of state saying "my friends and I are reading your posts - you are cracking us up. But boy! Are you ticking people off!"

The people I tick off? They know it's me, I know it's them, and we always make up and wind up apologizing (usually me more than them b/c I have more to apologize about) to each other - and growing in the process. And learning more about each other's views, and trusting that the Christ that holds us together is what counts.

The ebb and flow of relationships is not easy, and sometimes painful, but real friendship/real families have stress. Truthfully, I hate interpersonal stress, but it can't be avoided.

While the Bible is very serious about teachers and elders having tremendous responsibility both for themselves and their families, I think my dad would say "Be still. And know that HE is God." And he'd know the reference for that verse too - he spent hours soaking up God's word in that easy chair of his!

Church conflict is so especially tough - in an environment where we try to express God's grace to those who don't know Him, we often have trouble having grace with each other. And ourselves, when we blow it.

Just a few weeks ago at my church, the senior pastor and church board expressed concern over the congregation's angry responses to some proposals of theirs. But they also expressed regret for presenting things harshly...all in all, I've never seen a more poetic display of humility and grace.

It was refreshing! And a great model for me.

BEST BOOK I'VE EVER READ

2009-01-09T20:01:00.000-08:00

"An Unquiet Mind" by Kay Redfield Jamison.....

Dr. Jamison is a leader in the psychiatric field and writes most personally about bipolar disorder. She takes you into the terrifying spiraling madness as both one who suffers, and as a clinician.

Reading this book was eye-opening and terrifying, almost as though I was reading about myself. The description of what one's mind goes through during mania and depressive episodes is dead on.

CHRISTMAS 2008

2009-01-01T04:14:00.000-08:00

Officially, it is 2009 already, and our Christmas cards have gone out - most with pictures. Every year, we (I) write a letter...we'll try it on the blog this time.

NICK turned 10 in November and celebrated with 3 friends. We took them to a hotel for an overnight stay, complete with pool, pizza, and Kung Fu Panda. We spent the next day at the Franklin Institute.

He also had 17 friends over one day after school for pizza and backyard football. In retrospect, that was too many friends for a house our size! But Nick is blessed with many good friends and even at 17, they weren't all there.

Nick is a loyal and kind friend, compassionate and trustworthy. He continues to learn to stand up for himself and enjoys pleasing his teacher. Sometimes, he is too concerned with that, so Wendy encouraged him to strive for a "red ticket" one week (less than the perfect "blue ticket" in his class) and when he got it, she rewarded him with a trip to Red Robin!

He excels in the gifted program at school, loves art and playing the oboe. We are trying to figure out how to keep his piano skills up as well. Sports continues to be a fun but very informal activity for Nick. We are not on the sports treadmill in our house!

WAYNE and Nick (and Wendy) cheered the Phillies on to World Series victory - it was very exciting for Wayne who remembers the 1980s well, and still has his cherished mug from that victory. He continues to work from home financing our lives, our home renovations (new siding and a soon-to-be-completed deck) and everything else. He loves being Nick's daddy, and the older Nick gets, the more like Wayne he wants to be. Using Wayne's grooming products in the shower is particularly important to Nick now!

WENDY continues to substitute teach for our local school district. It is very varied, from Kindergarten through 12th grade and she works when the spirit moves her. Besides that, continuing to sell AVON at President's Club level, and volunteering with the PTO and hosting lots of ladies' get-togethers, she stays busy and happy.

TRIPS & TRAVEL are a big part of our lives. Highlights this year were a trip to Ocean City, MD with Wendy's sister and her boys, and Gotcha Day (annual April adoption celebrating) and Thanksgiving week in NYC.

CHURCH CHANGE was big for us this year - leaving our beloved church after 19 years was very difficult but a matter of obedience. God has blessed and honored our decision and He has grown us greatly in the process.

May you all have a blessed 2009!

SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS

2008-12-22T19:11:00.000-08:00

I received a recent email speech about the dire moral situation of our country, blah, blah, blah and how we have turned our backs on God, blah, blah, blah. The whole tone of it was very judgmental. The speech was attributed to a well known evangelist - I checked it out on snopes.com. Turned out it wasn't that man at all. I wonder if it bothers him that emails like this are going out with his name attached to it.

At any rate, whoever said the words I read didn't sound like the Jesus I read about in the New Testament. Who did Jesus rail against? Not the sinner.

He "wept for Jerusalem". He urged them to leave sin behind and follow Him, but he didn't beat them over the head with vitriolic diatribe!

No, his outrage was directed at the self-righteous hypocrites who judge everybody else.

Like a drunk leaning on a lampost, we use email sometimes for support. Not illumination.(That brilliant analogy is not mine - I have to remember who said that).

CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS

2008-12-22T18:59:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is celebrating Christmas with good girlfriends..every year, I host a "Christmas Coffee" - nothing like good girlfriends and fresh roasted beans.

This year's group.......

Below is a picture of our small group women - we had our annual Christmas party and gift exchange this weekend. A highlight of the evening was Rocky taking possession of the worst gag gift - the thighmaster!

FLAWS & ALL

2008-12-18T06:35:00.000-08:00

If you know me, you know I love shopping. Retail therapy is not just a name!

It doesn't matter if it's high-end retail or the thrift store..I just found TWO Longaberger tie-ons at the Goodwill and knocked a gift off my list for $1.47!

I recently went to a new Goodwill store. It was an hour from home and I had a rare 90 minutes to myself while Wayne & Nick were at a birthday party.

I love discovering new haunts. I love to just traipse through the aisles treasure hunting - sometimes it's profitable. Sometimes, I just browse.

But what I LOVED about my visit to this store was the sign on the front door.

All merchandise sold as is. Flaws and all.

How refreshing! Admitting up front you're marketing damaged goods. I think we should all wear a sign around our necks like that. "Take me as I am - flaws and all!"

Wouldn't it be awesome if we felt no need to pretend we have it all together? No need to "pretty up" before we show our real selves?

We were watching a very well-known actress on TV late last night. She is young, rich, gorgeous (both men and women agree on that), talented, and seems awfully nice (based on my in-depth People Magazine & Oprah research).

But what was painfully obvious (aside from what you can't help but observe if you at all follow celebrity "romance") was that she had virtually no confidence in who see is. I could tell she didn't know she is "fearfully and wonderfully made" as the Psalmist describes. She didn't have the security of knowing she belongs to the One Who Is, and Was, and Is to Come.

I wished I could jump through the screen and tell this woman - "I love your highlights! Who's your guy? Do you think you could get me in to see him? And by the way......dump that loser you're with! You are worth SO much more than that! You need to know that you are loved.....flaws and all! I have a Guy. And you don't need to know me to get in to see Him. His name is Jesus......"

CHRISTMAS WONDER

2008-12-07T21:27:00.000-08:00

One of the best things about Christmas has to be the cards & letters - we got one today from friends we met on the Internet.

As I was surfing one day, I found a couple who live near my in-laws' home in Cape Cod. Turned out they too, have one son.

The same age as Nick.

Adopted from Romania.

From the same orphanage at roughly the same time!

We found out that D. and Nick had grown up together! So it was with great joy that we connected with them on one of our vacations. They have a boat, and took us out for the day. What fun seeing D. and Nick reunite.

It was just us on the Atlantic....two former orphans, four grateful parents...and George Bush, Sr.

Remembering that, and the fun of cruising by and waving to one of the most powerful men on earth, reminds me....it was just luck that we happened to be the only ones beside the President boating in Kennebunkport that day. We certainly couldn't get too close (as if the Secret Service didn't have enough to do, they had to pose with me for my scrapbook.)

Yet even though God has infinitely more power than the leader of the free world, there's no need for security clearance. No need to go though anybody. And he doesn't want us at a distance - he wants us up close.

And our access is direct. It's not the lucky that get to be with Him. It's the ones who know their need. And believe He is Who He says He is.

What a great time of year to remember that.

"It is good to be a child sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when it's Mighty Founder was a child Himself."
~ Charles Dickens

SHELTERS & THE HOMELESS

2008-11-23T18:27:00.001-08:00

Before our recent trip to New York, I was reminiscing about The Lamb's - a shelter I had taken my dad to several years before he died so he could help serve Thanksgiving dinner. I'd no idea it had closed........as a kid, I'd always thought of shelters as safe places - a haven for those in need. Many times they are. And many times, they are dangerous - more dangerous than the streets. I taught an 8-year-old girl recently who lives with her mother in a shelter - please pray for her today. God knows her name.......

By MONTE WILLIAMS Published: March 31, 2001 Despite colorful streamers and balloons, and simple white vases holding red and white flowers, this was hardly a celebration. The Lamb's Manhattan Church of the Nazarene was serving the last meal from its soup kitchen yesterday.

About 70 men and women -- all of them poor, many of them homeless and most of them forlorn -- turned out for the last of what regulars called the best free meal in town.

The neighborhood around the soup kitchen at 130 West 44th Street -- once home to the disenfranchised, the sex industry and seedy bars -- is now a precinct of entertainment Goliaths, publishing titans and trendy restaurants. The homeless have been pushed elsewhere -- part of the city's effort to clean up Times Square.

The Lamb's Church is housed in a building from the 1800's, which once housed a theatrical club called the Lamb's Club. The church has entered into a partnership with the Hampshire Hotel Group, a New York chain that plans to build a $15 million, 110-room hotel, preserving the church's sanctuary and renowned theater, but forcing it to shut down or relocate its programs for the poor.

The Lamb's Table -- as the 20-year-old lunch program was known -- will move to the Beulah Church of the Nazarene in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn, which can feed 200 people a day, twice the number served by the Manhattan kitchen.

''The dynamics of poor people in this city have changed,'' said John Bowen, pastor of the Lamb's Manhattan Church. ''We are going to be relevant. We are going where the need is.''

Several of those who eat regularly in the church's dining room -- a handsome facility that seats 150 and resembles a New England lodge, with dark mahogany wood and a six-foot-tall stone fireplace where church officials say Mark Twain once sat and told stories -- said they would miss the Lamb's Table.

''This creates a void,'' said Lewis Haggins, 44, of Harlem, a former audio engineer who lost his job several months ago and now sleeps on the subway or on the streets, shunning the city's shelters because he says they are too dangerous.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

2008-11-23T18:14:00.000-08:00

We are soon headed to New York City, quite possibly my favorite place to visit. I grew up in a New York suburb so I had the luxury of being able to go there often as a kid and teenager. I love driving in Manhattan, although getting around on the subway would confuse me!

We are renting a brownstone in Brooklyn (visit www.vrbo.com to find your own unique getaway), hope to serve Thanksgiving dinner at a shelter, and plan to take Nick to the parade to end all parades - Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

If you're ever in New York (Manhattan), check out these favorites of mine:

Dylan's Candy Bar (the FAO Schwartz of candy owned by Ralph Lauren's daughter, Dylan Lauren)
Macy's! On 34th Street - there's cosmetics on more than one level - enough said!
Carnegie's Deli - best corned beef and pastrami, and most likely place to see a celebrity

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

GET PAID TO SHOP

2008-11-19T23:14:00.000-08:00

Shopping is not a hot topic these days, but at some point, we all have to shop. Even for the boring necessities.....toilet paper, paper towels, etc.

Why not get paid for it? I do. My first check was $41. I shop on-line a lot to save gas and time. But now I access my favorite sites, like drugstore.com through EBATES.

You should too! Check it out.....

http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?id=AofCojOKsxEocEXZ7G8Mdg%3D%3D

MADE IN THE USA

2008-11-18T02:44:00.001-08:00

Enjoy this visit to the Mitman Family's Maple Sugar Farm..........they happen to be Wayne's cousins and a fabulous family.

If you're in need of great gift ideas, here you go! They mail it for you - a truly unique and perfect winter gift!

www.mainesugarworks.com