2 Little Piggies...

Let Me Entertain You...

2013-04-19T00:30:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow fatties, bloggers, dieters and beautiful people!

NOTE: This entry will always be posted at the top of our blog. The date will change every day as I add another blog entry. I would like our readers to always be able to view this intro as a way to get to know who the feed bags really are. So please do not let the date of this entry deter you from reading on because our journal has begun long ago!

Before you read any further, I thought that I would take this opportunity to introduce to you both myself and my sponsor and co-dieter, my aunt.

My name is Messa and I am a 3 year old eater who has been dieting for nearly 30 years.
I was not always overweight for those years, but I didn't realise it until recently. I was raised in restaurants. While growing up, cafeteria's, canteens, and coffee shops were not a source of nourishment. Rather, they were our social scene.

Fast forward to today. I am post menopausal and think that it's safe to say that I am ready to take my life back without having to worry about mood swings, depression and excessive cravings that seriously used to affect how I ate.

I stand at 5 feet 10 inches tall and weight 281 pounds. I am determined to drastically change the latter number.

Joining me is my 71 year old aunt Irene who has been
yo-yo dieting her entire life. As a wife and mother of one, she is the best cook that I know. Growing up, she always had meals ready on the stove and left overs on standby for all of her company. I know this because I visited frequently so that I could play with her son while she visited with her mother.

I have seen Irene on Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, TOPS and have seen her succeed in losing as much as 100 pounds after a gastric augmentation in the late 80's. Regrettably, she gained it all back again and struggled with every fad diet imaginable. At least she tried. Her head was in the right place, but her heart would not allow her to alter her lifestyle and give up what she loved, food.

Now that she has lost 125 pounds on the HCG Diet over the course of the past year, she said, "I am ready to adopt a sensible lifestyle for the rest of my life." - As if 125 pounds isn't adopting a new lifestyle, Irene has 60 pounds to go.

This is the beginning of our journey from the darkness of food addiction into the light of life.

Thank you for joining us on the ride.

M & I

Read Our Very First Blog Here! The Cleanse...

Reason Your Way Through Addiction

2013-04-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

Hidee Ho my lovelies!

I thought I would give you an update on my fellow Feed Bagger and senior piggie, Irene.

I spoke with her last night and she is doing well. Now that she has reached a new decade, her seventies, she has made a vow to not allow dieting to control her life.

This is a new phase in overcoming food addiction. When you start battling your demon addiction, you will notice that making deals with yourself become the norm, a way to get out of the fight for your life. It sounds crazy because it's your life, so why would you want to reason yourself out of healing???

It happens. Especially when you are dealing with food as your substance of choice. It is sooo much harder when food is your drug because we need it to survive. Whereas, street drugs or alcohol are easier to reconcile as these are not essentials for living. When one has more than a few pounds to lose, a total life changing commitment is required in order to overcome ones addiction and have markedly improved health.

At the very beginning of a dietary journey our intentions are the best and we always do a great job the first day. If we haven't quarantined ourselves within a plastic bubble this greatness diminishes the further we are from our start date and the more we are exposed to the elements of every day living. While we cook for our children, mates and special events, we can't expect to be immune from sampling, tasting and participating in the most social of human events. The extraordinary, everyday meal.

I say extraordinary because I look at every meal as a unique, daily gift that is given to us for our benefit or detriment. Let us not fool our eyes. After all, they are symbolically bigger than our stomach. My unprofessional suggestion is to make sure these presents to ourselves and others are wrapped in love. Prepare each one while thinking of what the end effect will be on all those who partake. Nutrients for our bodies don't have to be all quinoa and wheatgrass poured out of a blender. We can still enjoy everything we love as long as we balance our eating AND reasoning.

We all know what our food weaknesses and strengths are. So instead of thinking solely of exercising our bodies to help us lose weight, why don't we start by stretching our brain a little and warm it up to the idea of our new lifestyle change a little at a time? Our eyes don't play tricks on us, our mind does. If we start with our head, our body will follow. Trust me, it takes tonnes (pun intended) of practice!

When you are ready, you will take over the indulging and regain power over your addiction.

Like your food. Love yourself.

Good Stress Produces A Well Balanced Meal

2013-03-25T19:28:00.000-07:00

Hey Hey All,

As we all know, stress can lend itself to succumbing to an addiction, no matter how long we have been in recovery. As you also know, The Feed Bags addiction is food and yes, this little piggie is stressed. It's kind of a good stress though, so I don't feel too bad about it. Allow me to elaborate.

Late last year after this little piggie went to the rodeo, there was a problem in my apartment that I made management aware of. In one week they had someone come in three times to look at the damage, take measurements, make notes and put in a requisition for repairs. Or so I thought. Nothing happened between then and as of two weeks ago. And THEN...

I called someone from the Health Protection and Environmental Public Health department of Alberta Health Services (notice how they stress "health"). A young inspector came into my place two weeks ago and spent 90 minutes taking a thorough overview of my place. Today I received a notice on my door from management giving me my 24 hours notice to come in to inspect for the purpose of repairs. Great! The time has finally arrived for them to do what I have been waiting over four months for.

This is still stressful because, although the necessary repairs are finally on their way, I have a feeling that management is not happy. This is not my problem. I like to make peace and avoid confrontation, so I am prepping my mind for any possible events. Herein lies the stress. So I baked bread. That in itself can be a hazard to a dieter, however I served it with my famous rip torn, DIET FRIENDLY soup. Gotta love it!

Thanks For Checking In!

Lots of love from Messa the Piggie

Read The Previous Post HERE! Au Revoir...

Au Revoir Son, Cousin, Husband and Friend

2013-03-18T18:46:00.000-07:00

Howdy Y'all,

The Feed Bags would like to announce a hearty Bon Voyage to Lane; the Senior Piggie Irene's son and the Junior Piggie Messa's cousin.
He is off to Shanghai, China for eight weeks to train with operations management for Hilong.
Congratulations and safe travels Lane! You will be missed by all!

Read The Next Post HERE! Good Stress Produces...
Read The Previous Post HERE! The Feed Bags Reunite!

The Feed Bags Reunite

2013-01-02T17:30:00.000-08:00

2012 Rolled out with a nice little spontaneous family reunion for The Feed Bags.

Lane and Noriko came down from Wetaskawin to pick me up on Friday night and we drove out to Westbank. It was such a peaceful trip. It was the first time I was a long distance passenger in a very long time, almost ten years. In fact the last time I was on a trip with Lane was in 2003 when we were on our way back from Vancouver and we stopped to swim with Oni in the Similkameen River.

Ten years older and hopefully ten years wiser, we arrived very early on Saturday morning and had a
wonderful weekend of visiting, eating and enjoying the scenery. On Sunday, Irene hosted a beautiful supper. Attending were: Millie, Chris, Greg, Shawna, Amy, Corey, Lane, Noriko, Annie, Irene and yours truly.
Irene had lovingly prepared enough food for three families to divide and take home. We had turkey, creamed potatoes, dressing, gravy, veggies, yams, perogies, cabbage rolls, gods salad, coleslaw, cranberry sauce, 2 different pies and 2 ice creams. Naturally every event is not without it's ups and downs. However, with some fast thinking and a few sideways glances, Irene and I managed to avert crisis and do some damage control.
Yes, we went off our diets for the main event. We learned to plan ahead for such times and make concessions so as to not have any post feasting guilt. We did it and enjoyed our family down time!

I didn't take any photos. I know, sad right?

Oh, I lied. I went down to the lake to watch the sunset on New Years Eve and snapped this:
To the right at the old ferry docks in Gellatly Bay, Wetbank. It was super chilly that night, but the pink sunset made up for it.

Below was the second shot that I snapped for a friend. It's a mountain along the Rocky Mountain Foothills on the East side before our approach to Calgary on January 1. 2013.

A new day, new year and continued success to all!
Read The Next Post HERE! Au Revoir...
Read Previous Blog Here! This Little Piggie Went To The Rodeo

This Little Piggie Went To The Rodeo

2012-11-16T17:58:00.000-08:00

Hiya fellow Feed Baggers!

Messa went to the CFR, otherwise known as The Canadian Finals Rodeo. This is an annual trip that I take with my friends the Redman's. This year was a bit different as Dave had to work later in the week. So, Treena, Austin and I drove up ahead of Dave at our usual time and BOY OH BOY... We hit a massive snow storm on our approach to Edmonton, just outside of Camrose actually.

We checked into our Motel and were snowed in, not literally but we
were erring on the side of caution. However cautious, AMA was reporting 8 hour waits on tows, transit was a minimum of three hours behind schedule and the sand trucks & plows could not keep up with the snowverload!
Nonetheless, you cannot keep a true Six Pack holder down, especially those from Alberta and Saskatchewan. We know what winter survival is all about!

It was the best CRF yet!

Enjoy a few photos and keep in touch!

With love from Messa

In HUGHENDEN ...Really hard to pronounce!

Behind The Chutes Private Tour

MOTEL BLUES

Frank and Flo pulling a photo prank!

Rider Game Day Green

Saturday Night Live ant the CFR

This post is dedicated to Lady. She succumbed to her health problems shortly after the Redman's came home from the CFR. Affectionately known as Ladybug and Bug-a-boo, she was an amazing pooch and loved by all. We will miss you girl!

Read the next post HERE! The Feed Bags Reunite!

Read the previous post HERE! Eating Through The 4 T's!

Eating Through Travel, Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph Part Four

2012-10-03T07:28:00.000-07:00

Salutations Sweetu's,

When I last left you hanging in gasp of suspense, Jan was on the road to recovery from cancer. Her father's funeral was a week ahead and Lane's wedding was a mere five days away.

It felt good to be home, as good as it get's. My home is the home of my aunt Irene who is also my dietary sponsor. We hugged in the driveway and went inside to lay off my things and take refreshment until the rest of our crew came in from GP, 13 hours N/E of us.

Two hours passed and then we all heard the roar of Aaron's RAM 3500. The whole town did. George and Tara were literally in tow, with their boys and pooch plus fifth wheel. Hoaky Croaky. Good times were on their way.

Head gasket blown on their Ram, George and Tara were grateful to arrive when they did, despite being 2am and waking up the hood. Hmm, more tragedy? Yeah, kinda...
We all have vehicles for work and play and we take good care of them. At least the guys are in the business and Lane had a few names lined up to take the edge off after a short night's rest. No worries. We'll take care of everyone.

Breakfast consisted of Irene, Tara, Tiffany and me summarizing the food lists for the wedding over coffee. The four of us were off to Costco by 11 am leaving the baby with the guys. Eight hours later we were back with the first "dry" run. I had chalked up a Chicken sandwich from BK and a wicked awesome Costco Ice Cream! Damn. What did I do?

I ended the night with a burger that Lane made on the bbq. As I passed by to snag a chair on the lawn by the fire, George offered me a beer, cracked it open and I kept walking... RIGHT into a hole. I fell, landed backward while my burger managed to bounce off the grass and back onto my plate. I didn't spill a drip of beer! It foamed to the top of the neck and I soothed it back down. There I sat in the dewy grass with my knee twisted under me facing away from the fire and my family. IT LOOKED POSITIVELY ASININE! However, I was not able to adjust at the time and when I did, I made a bee line for the house to nurse my wounds. MORE TRAUMA??? Yes, I just didn't know it yet.

The next day was a Wednesday and we were getting ready to meet our soon - to - be relatives that were flying in from Tokyo that afternoon. I loaned my car to Tara and George since their truck was in the shop for a week. Irene and I met the crew at Red Robin for lunch before going our separate ways. YAY, more food. Hmmm. Clucks and Greens anyone?

That night after our meet and greet at the airport, Irene hosted supper at her house for everyone in our family. There was The Bride, Noriko and her family (dad, mom and sister), three brides maids, The Groom, his mom, Cousins: George, Tara, Kelly, Eli, Aaron, Tiffany, Aaliyah, Izzy the Pitbull and Annie the Border Collie. Oh and me. 19 in all. How do you feed 17 people and two dogs in a hurry? KFC. It worked and all of our new Japanese family kept repeating "KENTUCKY" because that's what they call it in Japan. It was an awesome time of laughter, translating, and comparing cultures. TRAUMA? Hell no. This was the beginning of the TRIUMPH. If I was in a tunnel, this reaquaintance with my family was the burning glow guiding me out.

As the next two days wore on, Jan arrived on Thursday and as we were coming down to the wedding wire, I began to stress out. I knew there was a problem because people were saying, "relax Messa", or "what are you getting excited about" and I was feeling the pressure to comply. That was my choice, comply I did with the pressure, by going to the doctor and asking him for a band aide to soothe me through the next four days leading up to and including Lane's wedding and Jan's dad's funeral two days later. At the walk in clinic I was put through a thorough ringer regarding my case history, reason for travel, events leading up to my potential derailment (hahaha) and after the resident interviewed me he left and brought back the doctor. Dr. Warren confirmed some info and commented on the stresses of wedding preparations and lengthy travel. I agreed and with that he prescribed Ativan. I asked, "is this enough to get me through the funeral?" "FUNERAL" he exclaimed, "I thought you were going to a wedding!!!" ... Yeah, about that... Stranger than fiction.

Script in hand, 12 hours to departure for the reception facility, the tension was mellow and the spirits high. I didn't sleep much knowing that Irene and I had a huge bulk of work to do Saturday, morning of. I was up at the crack and she had not slept at all. Apparently her insomnia lead to a "new" plan that I was briefed about and we were off to the hall by 6:30 am. Back by 11, our "crew" was all decked out in their slickest attire. We have a very handsome and beautiful family. I am proud if nothing else. The mood was a bit stilted as there was some miscommunication betwixt us due to Irene's last minute plans. No probs... Get over it. We did.

I was totally fagged out and even contemplated not going. Yes. But I wouldn't miss Lane's wedding for the world even though he missed mine. I'll make sure to give him a second chance. (wink wink) I dragged myself to get ready. It was fatigue and lack of food. We made it though, and picked up Shirley in tow.

It was a day! I cried so much, you could have called me Ol Faithful! All the men were dashing and the ladies were adorable. It was a time of uniting two souls to walk a new path of life together and also a time of reuniting friends and family. The food was wonderful, the drink was flowing. We struggled with the music a bit, but love conquers all.

L-R: Top notch friend Linda, Mother of Groom, Irene and my back

Jan and baby Aaliyah

George in Bridal Party and Rosie Tara

Papa San in Kitchen

Irene and Shirley "chafing" each other!

The Party

Mr & Mrs & Jan

Love, love, love. All you need is love. And vodka.

Really, what I should do is turn my summer events into a series, apparently it is already lending that way. So, I will continue to write about the summer and 10k more kilometres logged on the wheels of my trusty Nissan.
Keep hanging in there as I continue to write about eating through the three T's. Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph!

Thank you my precious and patient peepers!

Hugs from your shrinking Mess!

Read Yesterday's Blog HERE! Eating Through the 4 T's!

Eating Through Travel, Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph Part Three

2012-09-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

Hello little lovely's!

It was mid-March and I returned from Grande Prairie to Calgary 10 pounds heavier then I was when I left, but still 25 pounds lighter than I was when I started my dietary rehab back in November of 2011. There I was - trying to figure out how I could manage to fullfill my upcoming obligations while travelling and trying to maintain my girlish figure. Okay, okay. Not girlish, at least not yet. Little did I know...

...that travelling long distance, providing physical and emotional support to relatives, attending conventions, weddings and an unexpected funeral all within six weeks of one another, were not conducive to my rehabilitation from the demon drug, food. And on top of it all, I had allotted myself one last venture in an attempt to dump my bridal inventory before I set it all afire with one final lash of my tongue; all at least 37 paces from my product as I didn't want my eyebrows blown off from the possible raging inferno of tulle and sequins. (I'm laughing inside).

I spent a month planning my routes and calculating my time to ensure a way out to assist Jan during her surgery, as I had the same operation three years earlier and didn't have the help I needed. I injured myself badly and wasn't about to let that happen to anyone else. I wasn't trying to play the heroine, I just refused to take no for an answer. So with the help of my friends who were to stay in my apartment while I was gone, I finalized my departure date for Victoria, BC. April 27.

After driving 18 hours from Calgary to Victoria, I was physically spent. That was not a worry or problem to me because I was "home" again and could enjoy a rest. Jan was in good spirits since returning from Mexico where she received alternative treatment for her cancer. She still required surgery and I was there to assist her through the recovery process.

My dietary success while there was less than moderate, and that's a stretch - in my pants!!! Despite eating a nearly organic diet, I continued to stress eat. On my menu was potato chips, ice cream, Spitz and even chocolate and I don't even like chocolate. We ate out a few times at an amazing burger joint called Big Wheel Burger, mainly because they serve organic meat, gluten free buns and vegetarian options. Best damn burgers I have ever had in my life! Please keep in mind that this food was eaten over a period of six weeks! Nuff said.

Our Order

The classic Big Wheel Burger... freaking amazing!

And then there was Chili Fries

The Veggie Burger (with chili fries! hahaha)

Must have beer!

Jan's surgery was a success and her recovery was very rapid, a reason to rejoice. The weekend of her discharge from the hospital, her son became a first time father to a gorgeous baby girl named Aaliyah (pronounced Ah-lay-ah) and Jan became a grandmother for the third time. Of course a new life is a cause for great happiness. Rejoice again! I believe in celebrating not only my accomplishments, but also those of my loved ones, no matter how huge or teensy. Every hill we climb is a great success to me and I am the self designated cheer leader of my family. The trauma part of my travels was nearing an end and I thought I would be able to go back to my regularly scheduled program of weight loss. However, not long after Aaliyah became a citizen of the world, a major bend in the road presented itself. Jan's father died suddenly. For me, no matter where, when or who it is, death is always sudden. The "tragedy" part of this trip was now rearing it's ugly head. *See Footnote

I gave Jan as much space as I could in a one bedroom apartment, but somehow being together through this time allowed for us to mourn together and sustain one another through our shared grief. Of course, I ate through everything. I put down my Magnum ice cream bar long enough to assist with the long distant phone calls to family, funeral arrangements, reminiscing over old photos, bawling fests and bouts of laughter. Jan had to fight every breath to maintain a positive sense of balance in order to physically recuperate from major surgery and yet allow her mind to accept her father's death and offer comfort and solace to herself. There was only one thing on the menu of her life at that moment, a double helping of intense healing.

While Jan was making the necessary preparations for her dad's funeral, etc, I was internalizing all of my emotions and burying them deep down in order to manage the long distance phone calls to my co-piggie Irene to discuss Lane's wedding plans. Venus and menus, music and decorating, everything! More celebration was on the horizon and I could feel myself growing a third chin just thinking about the work that lay ahead. Um, yeah. Eating is work.

Despite having to expect more major events, both happy and sad, they did not make me lose focus on the more important things. Both Jan and I were able to attend all three days of our bible convention. We were refreshed, encouraged and built up. We were able to plug along with much hope and a renewed sense of positive purpose for each of our distinct journeys. SUCCESS!

I left Victoria the day after the convention. I also left behind my wedding inventory, knowing that I would return a few weeks later to finalize my sales. It had been six weeks since Jan's surgery and everything was on schedule going click, click, click. I spent that night driving, reflecting and contemplating. I cried, I laughed, I talked to myself and sang out loud at the top of my lungs! It felt sooo good! I rolled into Irene's driveway at 11:30pm at only to find her and Lane standing in the driveway. This was odd, even for them. "What are you doing," I asked. "Oh," she said, "Tara, George, Kelly, Eli, Izzy, Aaron, Tiffany and the baby are on there way! Lane is moving our vehicles to make room for the Fifth wheel."

WHAT THE HECK...

Please wait for tomorrow's entry to read about eating through triumph!

Good night my monkey's!
M

*Footnote:
(While this new hairpin turn in the road may have put a temporary kink in Jan's recovery, I was suffering again from my heart condition (pericardial effusion) and landed in the emergency room of the RJH. Not cool. What was cool, was that the doctor was incredible! Within a week I was set up to see a specialist at VGH to discuss my treatment options, which by the way are being set in motion TOMORROW as I go to see my new doctor here in Calgary.)

Leaving the hospital

Read Tomorrow's Blog HERE! Eating Through the 4 T's Part Four

Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Eating Through Travel, Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph Part Two

Eating Through Travel, Trauma,Tragedy and Triumph Part Two

2012-09-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome back friends,

Yesterday in Part One of Eating Through Travel, Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph, I left off asking three questions:

(1) What made me stop caring about my diet and my health after such diligent and constructive work in losing weight and changing my eating habits?
(2) Had I really adopted a new and healthy lifestyle, or was this a façade?
(3) Or, was I temporarily reverting to my old comforts in order to bear up under the pressure of my cousin's fresh wound of a cancer diagnosis?

Here is how I first allowed my cousin Jan's cancer diagnosis to put me on what I will affectionately call my "DIETARY DETOUR".

Firstly, I made a silent deal with myself when I was up at Tara and George's looking after their two son's. I said to myself, "self? If I re-route my journey through this jungle of junk food for two weeks,
I will do my darndest to get back on track when I get back to Calgary." This is where (1) I temporarily stopped caring about my hard work and diligent efforts over the past four months. I am no expert in aeronautics, so just humour me and consider this illustration: I know enough to say that when NASA plans a shuttle launch into outer space, it must be executed with utmost precision. The space craft can end up years away from it's destination when it fly's even a fraction of a degree off of it's charted course.

Albeit a short blip on the radar map of my diet, I made the mistake of thinking that detouring from my diet for two weeks would be a safe move because I was in control. After all, I just spent four months working to lose 35 pounds, I can do this with no problem! How quickly I forgot how I spent the past 30 years wrecking my body with demon food. It's not food's fault, it's wholly my doing. I rationalized myself into thinking that this detour would only be temporary, then made an irrational decision to re-route, making my destination a much farther point on the horizon of my future as a permanent resident in Thinland. (Note to self, I am sorry for lying to you!)

I do believe that (2) I made an earnest effort to succeed in developing a healthy new lifestyle and no, this wasn't a façade. But, as with most successful relationships that take years to develop, lot's of love to nurture growth and patience to overcome hardships, my new relationship betwixt myself and food was still in an introductory phase. I was in dietary rehab for crying out loud! I was only four months into my program when I reverted back to my old habits. I knew that I should suffer a measure of guilt for mistreating my body and mind. However in retrospect, I believe that I was too lenient with myself. In my experience the right thing to do is always the hardest thing to do. And following a life changing dietary program is very difficult! Oh sure, I eventually end up doing the right thing, but not until I submit myself to a mountain of procrastination before getting down to brass tacks.

The answer to the above question (3) is ultimately, YES. I was emotional eating myself through Jan's diagnosis and feeling the fear that her kids were undergoing too. No one asked me to feel this way on their behalf, I chose to because I was also genuinely afraid for my family members. My feelings were real. Plain and simple. I used food to temporarily cover up the feelings that I was not comfortable enough to reveal at that time. Whether anyone else was aware or not, I was too busy being strong for Tara and George's boys and doing my best to support the immediate family involved. That strategy worked, for them. It failed miserably for me and I began to gain back the weight I had previously lost. I did not let on much about my true feelings of desperation regarding the recent turn of events. Not only was I internalizing the fear and anxiety I was feeling for Jan, I now had to fight off my closeted guilt and anger that I developed from my weight gain. Double trouble.

Tara and her brother Aaron came back from Victoria with news that their mother's surgery was being postponed until a later date. Despite the surgical delay, it was good for all of them to be together during this time. I returned to Calgary mid-March and contemplated my available choices for the upcoming events which included my obligatory attendance at an annual bible convention, Jan's hysterectomy and Lane's wedding. These were all events that I felt I needed to be at and couldn't figure out how I was going to be able to be there for everybody, as all the aforementioned occasions were within very close proximity to one another.

What was I going to do and how was I going to do it?

Please stay tuned for Part Three in my series on eating through travel, trauma, tragedy and triumph.

Lots of love... M

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Eating Through Travel, Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph Part Three
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Eating Through Travel, Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph Part One

Eating Through Travel, Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph Part One

2012-09-23T22:28:00.000-07:00

Hello my dear friends,

It has taken me what feels like forever to harness the time to sit down and write about why this little piggie went to the market and didn't come home for seven months... SEVEN MONTHS??? Yes, that's what I said.

Here's what happened since we last saw each other:

After returning to Calgary on the first day of February, I thought that I would enjoy a short respite from my travels to my co-piggie, Irene's; after all, February IS the shortest month of the year. Let's make the most of it. I enjoyed a full month of activity doing my regular volunteer work, and spent the month catching up on hugging all my friends. I was successful in continuing my diet (after I devoured my cookies and chips) and managed to lose almost 35 pounds when the first in a series of events would thrust all of my hard work into a downward spiral, flushing my great achievement down the toilet with my hand on the lever.

Like most everyone, I have little control over the events in the world around me that occur from day to day. These are the incidences that I am not immediately related to, I having more or less, no influence on them and in turn they remain oblivious to me. At least, that's what I thought up until that email from Jan. I contemptuously refer to it as The "C" mail.

This is a story about how our journey in life is not ours alone. No matter who we are, what we do or what happens to us along the way, our life makes a distinct impression - whether visible or unconscious - upon the lives of others. This mark can affect how we think, speak, act and react and links us all together in the marathon that is the human race.

Flashing back four weeks when Irene and I were in Grande Prairie visiting Tara and her family, we had the opportunity to talk to Tara's mom Jan, in Victoria, BC. Jan was not well; she was very weak and tired and was taking time off of work, something that never happens. Flash forward four weeks. It was the evening of Monday, February 27. In the "C" mail Janet told me that she had cancer, uterine cancer. I was stunned and in obvious disbelief. I called Jan with a flurry of frenzy in my head, but a wave of peace over my speech as we talked about her diagnosis, treatment options and recovery. She was optimistic and sporting a courageous front over the telephone. However under her fragile exterior I knew her body was retching in toxic disease.

By the time we exchanged encouragement, it was too late to call Tara and see what her plans were for her and her brother to leave GP and see their mother. So the following morning I sent her a text message after the boys left for school and she got back to me after the boys were home from school. I called immediately. Tara was obviously upset, but more concerned with how she and Aaron were going to see their mother through an up coming surgery over 1,200 km away.

Tara's husband George was working and the boys were in school. I offered my services. Family is family, whether in times of rejoicing or adversity, we need to be there for our family. Tara was surprised and even admitted that she never thought to ask me to take care of the boys. I said, don't worry about it, I am on my way tonight. And so was the beginning of my next adventure into the world of weight gain.

I

ordered a pizza for the 8 hour road trip (actually it was 2 for 1)
drank copious amounts of vodka with Tara and George, well maybe not copious, I just hadn't had any alcohol in a while, so it seemed like a lot
spent two weeks with the boys making and EATING "fun" meals like taco's, pizza, eating at McDonald's and Blizzard's from the DQ
bought candy and chocolate, ate it - not to mention every salty snack in the world and ate them too

Basically I was soaking up all of the family's un emoted grief and pouring out processed food. What made me stop caring about my diet and my health after such diligent and constructive work in losing weight and changing my eating habits? Had I really adopted a new and healthy lifestyle, or was it a façade? Or, was I temporarily reverting to my old comforts in order to bear up under the pressure of my cousin's fresh wound of a cancer diagnosis?

More to come in part two of my series on "Eating Through Travel, Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph".

Lot's Of Love...M
Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Eating Through Travel, Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph Part Two
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Newsflash! Messa's Back In Calgary

Newsflash - Messa's Back In Calgary

2012-02-06T18:30:00.000-08:00

The Feed Bags have officially separated after 75 days together.

Some may say, awe that is sad. I say it's a very good thing. The reason that we were together for so long is because Irene and I wanted to support each other through a new dietary procedure. Irene also sponsored me as my weight loss coach, giving me tips and tricks after her 100+ pound and continuing drop in weight.

We finished the first three cycles of Dr. Moreno's 17 Day Diet. As per his instructions, if one does not finish their total weight loss by diet day 51, you must re-cycle, starting over from either first or second cycle depending on how much you are willing to sacrifice. Honestly, there has been no sacrifice on this diet! It is wonderful.

Last Tuesday night, I arrived back in my town of Calgary, Alberta and took a few days to clean, reorganize, unpack and launder to mention just a few things. I kind of went off my dieting for three days because before I left, my apartment was not diet proof. So rather than throwing out food whilst the famine is just "ending" in Somalia, I chose to eat my triple chocolate chip cookies, dill pickle chips and
be grateful. Despite this part time binge, I managed to start my diet over from the beginning again as instructed and also lost a couple more pounds. I have currently dropped a total of 23 pounds in under two months. I have continuously lost weight and have not plateaued yet. YAY. SUCCESS.

There is so much I have to tell you all about!

I want to mention my new routine, now that I am home. It is drastically different from how I have lived the past two months with Irene. I have changed some of my cooking methods and also have incorporated portion control and calorie counting. I began to do a daily dry brushing routine to make sure that my skin eliminates the maximum toxicity from my body. As I said when I first began blogging, our intent was to diet once our bodies finished a minor detox in order for our organs to assimilate our food to it's fullest potential. My skin is the biggest organ my body has, and it throws off major waste. My grand mother used to dry brush every day and I have always had a body brush, but only brushed randomly. The benefits are not just about cleansing, but also improving my circulation system and also having more firm, toned and glowing skin! Now that I have returned home to my sanctum, I began this healthy regimen. IT WORKS!

Even though I am making physical changes to my routine et al, I really believe that dieting is a 100% mental thing. I need will power, strength, endurance, self control and major balance in order to succeed. As you can probably figure out, all of the aforementioned qualities overlap into my daily routine and other aspects of my life. It is a win-win situation when I can have control over just one area of my life and then have it manifest itself in the others too. This is not to say that my life is in any way out of control. Rather, just in the process of being fined tuned according to my growth and progress.

I find that dieting has showed me how to be more self aware, even selfish. But that is okay. If we are not a little selfish, then how can we be at our prime to help others? I used to make constant withdrawals on my own emotional bank account, thinking that I was helping others. I may have helped in a temporary way, but eventually I found my coffers dry and I was wait deep in used up sacrifices.

So thank's to this new way of eating, I am improving other areas in my life that I thought were okay before, I see that almost everything can be improved upon. I really am healthier, lighter and happier. Happiness is contagious and this is one disease I intend on spreading viciously!

How about you? Where do you fit in through this whole process? Are you achieving your goals and reaching a self balance? Where would you rate your positivity and your happiness?

I hope to hear from somebody. Anybody!

Lot's of love.
Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Eating Through Trauma, Tragedy and Triumph Part One

Read Yesterdays Blog Here! Cycle Three Measurements

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 17 - Measurements

2012-01-17T20:51:00.000-08:00

Messa's Measurements on The 17 Day Diet Program*:

January 1, 2012 January 17, 2012 Difference

Head Circumference:   Head Circumference:
56cm = 22" 55 cm = 21 6/8 " - 1 cm = 2/8 "

Neck: Neck:
39cm = 15 3/8" 38 cm = 15 " - 1 cm = 2/8 "

Shoulders (around)   Shoulders (around)
119cm = 46 7/8" 119 cm = 46 7/8 " No Change

Chest: Chest:
126cm = 49 4/8 125 cm = 49 2/8    - 1 cm = 2/8 "

Waist: Waist:
123cm = 48 3/8" 122 cm = 48 " - 1 cm = 2/8 "

Hips: Hips:
136cm = 53 4/8" 133 cm = 52 3/8 "   - 3 cm = 1"

Left Bicep: Left Bicep:
40cm = 15 6/8" 38 cm = 15 " - 2 cm = 6/8"

Right Bicep: Right Bicep:
39cm = 15 3/8" 36 cm = 14 1/8 " - 3 cm = 1 "

Left Thigh: Left Thigh:
73cm = 28 6/8" 69 cm = 27 1/8 - 4 cm = 1 5/8 "

Right Thigh: Right Thigh:
75cm = 29 4/8"   68 cm = 26 6/8 " - 7 cm = 2 6/8 "

Left Calf: Left Calf:
45cm = 17 6/8 43 cm = 17 " - 2 cm = 6/8"

Right Calf: Right Calf:
45cm = 17 6/8" 42 cm = 16 4/8 " - 3 cm = 1 2/8"

Left Ankle: Left Ankle:
28cm = 11" 26.5 cm = 10 3/8 " - 1.5 cm = 5/8 "

Right Ankle: Right Ankle:
27.5cm = 10 7/8" 26 cm = 10 2/8 " - 1.5 cm = 5/8 "

*Please not that metric (cm) measurements are more accurate than standard (inches) measurements. The numbers I have recorded in standard are to the closest 1/8 of an inch.

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Newsflash - Messa's Back in Calgary
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! The Feed Bag's On Vacation

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 16 - Feed Bags on Vacation

2012-01-16T23:34:00.000-08:00

It is with mixed emotions that I write this post.

I am thrilled with glee to say that my aunt Irene has asked me to go away on "vacation" with her this winter. I agreed despite the minus 30 degree weather and the 15 hour trip ahead of us. This trip is many years in the making for both Irene and I. The last time that she was at our intended destination was 40 years ago, and I have never been. Hence my excitement. We have family that has been living there for 9 years now. We owe them a big visit!

However, it is with much sadness and regret that I say that this will be my last entry for a while. By awhile I meant that I am not exactly sure of how long we are going for or how busy we will be with family, etc. Also, I have packed a few extra woollen blankets and survival gear in case we blow a tire and land in a snow bank, trapped alive.

Where are we going you may be wondering? GRANDE PRAIRIE, ALBERTA! This is how REAL Canadians vacation in the winter!

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Measurements
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Food Is A Drug

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 15 - Food is a Drug...

2012-01-15T23:30:00.000-08:00

...and I am my own pimp.

I had a surprise visitor in my bedroom this morning. Someone was waking me up and requested my presence at an impromptu luncheon conference. Great. I love surprises. Not.

As it turns out I had a meeting at The White Spot with Irene and addressed some major topics that were causing her some clearly visible stress. She was able to vent and use me as a sounding board to bounce thoughts and ideas off of. I was not able to mirror her anxiety which is a positive thing. This I say because if also became worried over the matters at hand, then it would have been detrimental for the both of us and we would have literally fed into each other's weaknesses of food addiction.

Yes, when I poured over the menu, I felt tempted with food. I was able to resist the burgers and pasta. But when I saw the
appetizers, I found it hard to turn away from the things deep fried and from carbs. Thankfully, after many cups of coffee we were able to overcome the challenge together and stick to our diet. Breaking for lunch Irene chose to order a Caesar salad. I opted for the signature "Santorini" chicken salad. I have always wanted to go to Santorini. Alas, with Irene's and my choice, I suppose we must have to settle for a North American raw veggie interpretation of the Greece rather than travelling to the Mediterranean.

Irene was still a bit edgy by the time we rounded the home stretch at the restaurant so we went to Orchard Park to do a little shopping. It was a good excuse for me to make a necessary purchase, a belt. I think that she felt better by the time we finished our coffee in the food court 90 min later. All was quiet on the front and I scored a belt on our way out. Koolio.

I think that a true testament of ones strength in overcoming addiction is when an individual is put under stress relative to their situation. What may be a cake walk for one, is certain death for another when the latter has to cope with the weakness of turning to their crutch to support them in their time of need. For many it has been prescription drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and street drugs. These all produce feelings of relaxation, euphoria and lead to a more depressive feeling after the high is over. I know. I am a former smoker and drank very heavily during a few critical moments in my life. Food however, produces the same effect to a person addicted to this substance.

For many, food is a source of energy needed for survival. To an addict, food is a comforting friend and drug pushing enemy. Yeah, I am my own worst pimp. I could more easily deal myself a deadly hand of carbohydrates and fat, than shuffle a deck of lean protein and veggies. I recognize this and I fight. I totally know why thin people are obsessed with their weight. Staying thin is really hard work. But getting thin is even harder when you have to lose half your body weight to achieve what is the medical standard for normal. This is the challenge before us now and we readily accept that challenge. When it comes time for maintenance you better believe that I will become the most selfish person I know.

Selfishness has no correlation to greed, narcissism, or meanness. Selfish for me is this: If I do not make a deposit into my own personal bank of well being, than I have nothing to draw on in order to help others. I must take care of myself first, or I am nothing to the people that I want to t help. To illustrate, think of when you board a plane for a trip. The staff never fails at doing their pre flight safety speech to make sure every one knows what to do an in emergency. If oxygen is needed, you must secure the mask upon your own self first, then you may be in a better position to attend to others who are in need of assistance. This blog is my pre flight speech. I am telling everybody about the journey ahead. Some of it may not be smooth. In case of emergency, analyse the situation first to see what my immediate needs are. I must be aware of in flight turbulence if I cannot attend to myself and need help. Before a crash landing is imminent, I have to seek out help, encouragement or a boot in the butt. To do this I can call upon someone that I trust as my life sustaining help. Sometimes all you need is a few seconds to change a drastic outcome into a smooth landing.

We are not alone. I am grateful for a massive community of family, friends, peers, professionals and a host of other people who are have various resources to tap into. Many have the capacity and eagerness to assist one another. This is good news for me, Irene and any other fellow Feed Baggers!

Just ask. We answer.

Much Love.

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! The Feed Bags on Vacation
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Just Like Starting Over

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 14 - Just Like Starting Over

2012-01-14T23:41:00.000-08:00

Hey hey everybody.

Did the med change work? Did I go back to 169 lbs?
The answers are no and no.
The medication wouldn't really produce proper results because I was going through so much. I did feel more stabilized and felt like I was not suffering all the time. Family anxiety, one death, one near miss, two major moves and two surgeries for me made my mental state more difficult to regulate. The worst of it all was when I had my hysterectomy in 2009.

Previously, I had ovarian surgery in February of 2005 and stayed quite ill. I may have fluctuated by 10 lbs here and there but for the most part remained at 280 lbs. I was continually experiencing health problems until my OBGYN and I decided that a hysterectomy
and bi-lateral oophorectomy would be the best move for me. To tell you the truth I pushed him more for the hysterectomy than he wanted for me.

It was 24 months after my surgery. May 2011 when I woke up one day and went from my occasional bouts of depression and constant death fixation to a feeling of normalcy. I stopped taking my anti depressants and sleeping pills cold turkey. I struggled with sleeping during the nights and still do. But I have only had two sad days in eight months, once was in July and the other was just after Irene and I began cycle three of this diet.

I am pretty confident that a severe hormonal imbalance was the cause of my life long battle with insomnia and depression, not to mention my weight fluctuations. I am hoping now that all of this is behind me, I can focus on my real life, my future and most of all, helping others achieve their happiness. I believe that I got a second chance at life and it only took 22 years. Why not take this opportunity to find my true self and show others what possibilities lie ahead?

This is only the beginning. It's just like starting over.

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Food Is A Drug...
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! The Biggest Loser Pt II

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 13 - The Biggest Loser Pt II

2012-01-13T18:16:00.000-08:00

There I was.
I had lost a total of 127 pounds. I went from 296 pounds down to 169 pounds in a matter of 6 months. I was eating mainly veggies and lean protein. I had a dance partner and was exercising 15 hours a week on average.

And so I stood in Walmart trying to do up a cheap pair of size 28 jeans and couldn't. I squeezed them over my thighs and was actually straining to do them up at the waist. What was the problem?
I grabbed some candy and chips to take back to the hospital with me and when I arrived back at my room, I placed a delivery order for pizza. This was something I had done in the past, ordering take out to the hospital. No problem there. Friday night, upset over weight gain and stuck in the hospital for two weeks so far, I didn't see any red flags about ordering a couple of pizza's.

The problem was that I made the mistake of turning to food at my crisis time instead of
waiting to talk to my doctor on Monday morning. I remember craving carbs and ordering two portions of sandwiches at lunch time from the hospital menu. When supper arrived I was eating pasta's and potatoes like every night was my last meal. By the time Monday came to see my doctor and go for my daily group therapy in 5N, I passed by the laundry room and dodged in to weigh myself. I nearly fell off in horror. I got off and re weighed myself. I tipped the scale at 200 lbs.

I gained over 20 lbs during my two week stay at the hospital and couldn't figure out what was going on. If I was depressed when I arrived, imagine my mood when I saw this. WHAT IS GOING ON? I really had no clue. My head was not in a good place and I had one week left before the completion of my medication change over.

The short of it is this. I was gaining weight like sumo wrestler on steroids. Four months after my hospital admission I had gained back just over 80 lbs and finally clued in why I was gaining all the weight. Yes, I knew that my body had been thrusted into a stressful situation a few months prior. Yes my medication had changed drastically. Yes my diet had changed dramatically. But it wasn't until that moment in June where I realized that my new medication was not agreeing with me. The medication change was the reason why I was gaining weight. Not only was it was shutting off the signal in my head that says "I'm Full", but it was also telling my brain that while I am hungry, I must crave and indulge in carbohydrates. Eat bread, pasta, potatoes and everything I can possibly get my hands on.

I took this self examinations to my psychiatrist and presented my findings. He said, yes, this was very much the possibility. WELL NO WONDER! I was almost all the way up to my original weight the year before and more depressed. I gave him an ultimatum. Either he take me off of this new med and replace it with something more conducive to my chemical needs, or I take myself off of the medication and have no replacement and suffer any consequences that may occur. Thankfully, he agreed with my decision because he recognised that weight gain added more sadness to an already bleak mental state.

Did the med change work?

Please stay tuned.
Lot's of Love!

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Just Like Starting Over.
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! The Biggest Loser Pt 1

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 12 - The Biggest Loser Pt I

2012-01-12T17:32:00.000-08:00

Hello dieters!

I left yesterday's blog entry with a question that stemmed from a massive weight loss in 2003. The question was, what was I doing that caused the sudden fluctuation in my weight and vaulted me into super skinny mode?

One of the contributing factors in this situation was medication. By this time in question, I had been under my psychiatrist's care for about a year and a half. I was bouncing around taking different medication combination's until I could settle with one that worked. I wasn't finding any relief and found my daily habits and personality changing. I was given a prescription for a particular medication in August of 2003 and by the end of September I had lost about 30 lbs. This was a traumatic time as I had also been ill and hospitalized with double pneumonia.

Hospitalized for pneumonia in Sept 2003

So where did this leave me?
I was gaining energy by the day and becoming quite hyper. This is something that had never happened to me before.
I was hanging out with my best friend Yvonne and actually moved in with her for a few months. We did everything together. She had started to lose weight too and so we found ourselves in a routine of dancing three nights a week and eating strictly veggetables and lean protein, mainly chicken breasts.

By January I had lost roughly 100 lbs and was well on my way to skinnyville!

January 2004 - Weight approx 190 lbs

As my goal weight approached in March of 2004, I began to break mentally again. My mother and I were struggling to get along and this was a major stressor on my body. I landed in the psychiatric unit of the Hospital by the end of the month at my lowest adult weight 169 lbs. Every day I ran laps around the unit and also did core exercises in my room on the floor. Every day patients and nurses would ask me where I got my energy. I did not have an answer. After many daily consults, written tests, exams and blood work, it was determined that I did not actually have Bi-Polar disorder. I actually had clinical depression. My base mood level was actually at a level higher than average. So when I was not my normal happy self, I was merely depressed or sad. So my stabilized mood was really not a high or anxiety associated with a manic episode like that of someone who has bi-polar. My excessive happiness was really just my normal self.

That being said, my medication was immediately altered but I had to remain in the hospital because of the side effects of the med changes. I was transferred off of 5N, the psych unit, and moved to a medical ward for observation during this time. Through out this part of the process, I was allowed to have unsupervised passed and leave the hospital grounds as long as I returned by the 9pm curfew.

About one week into my med change, I decided to go shopping with my mother at Walmart for some new jeans and snacks to take back to my room at the hospital. When I picked out my size 28 jeans, I tried them on and had problems with fitting them over my thighs. Did I grab the wrong size by mistake? Was I swollen from the new medication or had I really put on so much weight that I could no longer wear my skinny jeans?

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! The Biggest Loser Pt II

Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Lockout Pt II

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 11 - Lockout Pt II

2012-01-11T23:19:00.000-08:00

Now where was I?

Oh yes, the mental memento!

So why do we have such fond memories of food? Chances are that most of us who are suffering from food addiction have had strong associations to food. As you may or may not have read the preface to The Feed Bags, I indicated that I was raised in cafeteria's, canteens and coffee shops. These regular visits imposed a measure of pleasantries upon my tiny brain. I connected eating out in restaurants with my family and fun times. I also made a correlation between eating out and rewards. If we did something good, we were rewarded with food. And if something bad happened to us, like sickness, we were made to feel better with food. By we, I mean Irene's son Lane and myself.

KILL ME NOW! Oh man, our parents had the right idea about comforting us, but chose to so with a
time bomb that was slowly ticking it's way to a massive coronary or artery blockage in our young bodies. Granted, hamburgers and ice cream didn't always go to our hips. As kids growing up in the 70's and 80's we had regular physical exercise and maintained an ethical standard of activity that is now completely foreign to kids these days. I remember Lane always biking, pedal and motor cross. He also had friends wherever he lived and was constantly running around to & from, playing everywhere along the way. I remember one time when he frequented the local arcade, Little Beavers, which was 4 blocks from his house. To him it must have seemed like a substantially great distance to walk as a 7 year old. However, when his mother Irene bridged the gap with her car, the house could not be close enough for him to run back to. I too, had a few bicycles in my time as well as skates for the summer winter. It seemed like every year I was getting a new pair of blades. We were always very active and on the go climbing trees, digging in sandboxes and playing sports at school. The only time we played indoors was if it was too cold or dark to play outside.

Lane and I both had weight issues growing up, but we were never obese, a term that you hear almost every day on the news, if not on Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz. Kids are so fat these days and are being taken away from their "unfit" parents. Don't even get me started on the SMOKING BABY turned smoking toddler from Indonesia. When Lane hit high school which at the time was grade 8 here in Canada, he trimmed up nicely and grew into his body as most teenagers usually do. I did not get thin, but I was an avid roller blader and swimmer. We were fit and young. Not so much now. But that's par for the course with life and age. No excuses. Just saying.

I ended up locking out my true feelings about myself and shutting down my internal dialogue. I suffered from insomnia at the age of 13 and spiralled downward into depression. I was misdiagnosed as having bi-polar disorder and spent many years taking prescribed anti - depressants, anti - psychotics, sleeping pills and was in and out of psychiatric units for the better part of six years of my life. I hated who I was, I obsessed about dying a thousand deaths and visualized every one through to fruition, even attempting suicide twice when I was 26. Food was not my friend, yet I turned to carbs for comfort. My solace was in sugars, not salads. Then magically in September 2003 I started to lose weight. Within seven months, I lost 127 lbs. Yeah, the weight of a human being. What was I doing that caused the sudden fluctuation in my weight and vaulted me into super skinny mode?

Stay tuned for the answer and also a few of my mental memento's!

Thanks All! MWAH

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! The Biggest Loser
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Lockout Pt I

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 10 - Lockout Pt I

2012-01-10T23:31:00.000-08:00

I do believe that a lock out is in order.

Hi All!

I'm not quite sure about what the consensus is on re-training your brain to manage food addiction. However, as a current food addict, I cannot call myself a recovered food addict at this juncture of our diet. I think that Irene may have a pretty good handle on her addiction as I see the will power that she exercises. I also see the mind games she has to play with herself, as well as the positive affirmations and some negative motivation too.

For example Irene tells herself, "I will not let food ruin my life, I am in control of what I eat." I see this as a
negative motivation linked with a positive affirmation, indicating that she recognizes that she allowed food to wreck her life at some point, and now she is in control of what she consumes. I have also seen Irene tell herself that chewing Apple Pie flavoured gum is as good as eating Apple Pie. THIS, is a total mind game that she plays to get herself through the next 5 minutes of dieting. That's right. The next 5 minutes.

Sure it's great to fire through your dieting cycles like a bullet from a gun. But, sometimes you really have to take it slowly, listen to your bodily cravings and then tell them where to go! Really listen to yourself. If you want something you know your body doesn't need, break it down and analyse why you want it. Ask yourself, do I really need this? What is it about this food that makes me crave it? Am I associating a good or bad memory to this food? Is 10 seconds in my mouth worth 10 years on my belly or thighs? By the time you give yourself an answer to these questions, hopefully the craving will have passed. If not, the minimum achievement would hopefully help you to reason yourself away from intended bodily harm.

I choose to "Lockout" all of these detrimental lies. We are locking out any association to bad foods and replacing these ideas with glimpses of our past and future in order to fuel the fire of our dietary ambitions. We do not focus on our past, but we do remember our mistakes in order to teach us lessons about what we can do differently to achieve our desired results. Simple right? Yeah, kinda. Maybe a little too obvious. I think that it is vital for us to keep constant reminders as part of our consciousness; mental memento's of how far we've come to set the pace and spur us on to how far we want to go!

Can we do it? You bet we can!
Pt II up and coming...
Love to all!

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Lockout Pt II
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Hum Drum

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 9 - Hum Drum

2012-01-09T23:23:00.000-08:00

Really?

Yes. Hum Drum.

Irene and I have had our dietary balloons deflated. Just one of those days.

We ate well, having eaten a coleslaw made with cabbage, green onion, radish, carrot and a mild Asian dressing. She had salmon for protein and I ate tuna, our desired preferences. We also visited Millie tonight and delivered a whole whack of food from Saturdays supper.

Millie got turkey, potatoes, veggies, gravy, dressing, stuffed cabbage rolls, home made perogies and a special family recipe for
a cream salad. The fan favourite. We had a really nice, debate free visit. We plan on meeting her again on Friday for coffee and to look at old family photos.

When Irene and I got home I stepped in a puppy puddle, planted on Irene's floor. I stayed put until Irene could bring her mop over to me. I wiped my foot on the mop, lost my balance and stepped on the base, cracking the handle. I owe her a mop. She then decided to buy a gate for partitioning the stairway, so I Google'd several pressure mount gates. To our surprise we found a couple at Walmart. We rushed off to buy one, too short. Oh well, return it tomorrow and hope that the puppy does her business when she goes outside.

Draining the whey out of my yogurt tonight. I feel GREEK!

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Lockout Pt I
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! The Week In Pictures

Cycle Three: Achieve! Days 4 - 8. This Week In Pictures

2012-01-08T23:27:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!

The Feed Bags have had a busy week! We have been preparing for company this past weekend, shopping, cooking, supporting Heather through her MRI, ordering wedding dresses, entertaining, shopping for sick relatives and saying farewell to friends moving to Haiti. I thought that I would just compile a quick picture diary to show a few things we have tried this week.

ENJOY!

Monday Morning Venti Bold!

Supper. Fish Cakes with Tomato Amaranth Sauce and Spinach Salad

My First Taste of Shiritaki Noodles!
Tomato Reduction with Shrimp... MMM

TUESDAY'S TEA

Family Supper at Boston Pizza.
Yes, that's wine!

Popped and roasted Amaranth on my salad.
What a delicious texture!

The infamous NUGO Bar! Thanks NUGO!

Half was plenty for me! Noriko had the other half - hee hee!

Irene's Wicked Weekly Find!

Noriko's Awesome snack pick from Natures Fare!

CUZZINS

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Hum Drum

Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Pedometer Time

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 3 - Pedometer Time

2012-01-03T23:56:00.000-08:00

Well well well, thank you for joining us tonight!

The Feed Bags decided to buy pedometers tonight to track our walking distance.

I asked Irene if she would walk with me around the local Walmart parking lot. Why the parking lot you may ask? Well to be honest with you
it is because I wanted a well groomed, level surface to walk on. Not only is it level, but it is also cement, not gravel or dirt like so many other trails and walk ways. When the natural elements come into contact with these kinds of more rustic paths, the results can be a bit chaotic at times, especially in the winter and during busy times with runners and dog walkers.

Irene readily agreed and took on the challenge. She suggested buying pedometers in the Walmart so that we could see what distance we can challenge ourselves to. Yeah, I can handle that. As I found out later, there is one problem with us walking together and that is a distance of roughly 8 inches in the difference of our leg length. Not only am I taller than Irene, but my legs are 42" (107 cm) long! So when the two of us walk together, I naturally go farther, faster. In order for us to keep pace, Irene has to do double time and a half or I have to crawl. It's kind of awkward.

A few times, I broke into a run and headed for a lamp post in the parking lot, did a round and came back, rounded her and walked on. When she got to the starting point again, I told her that I would race her to Starbucks. I ROCKED (my run-walk) and she took her car. She passed me on the road as I was crossing and in 1 minute 42 seconds, we simultaneously walked into Starbucks two separate doors and up to the counter.

Starbuck's TAZO Passion Tea

Not bad, I say. Not bad at all!

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! The Week In Pictures
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! When We're Together

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 2 - When we're together...

2012-01-02T23:29:00.000-08:00

Ciao peoples!

Not much to say today.
I seem to be in my winter insomnia phase and had a little problem sleeping last night. I turned on Netflix and watched Black Swan.
When I got up at 11 Irene had made some juice and saved it for me in the refrigerator. I must say that I really enjoy drinking juice! I don't know why Oprah
hates it so much. What say you, Oprah?

Noriko, Irene and I got ready to do some light shopping, but decided to go to Starbucks for a quick-me-up coffee first. I took along my Japanese text book and had a nice little lesson from Noriko while we sipped on our usual Venti, Bolds.

WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER
I know I'll never fail!
(No Truer Word Have Been Spoken Lately)

Irene was wanting to find Amaranth in the health food store since I read her a few articles last night that compared Quinoa and Amaranth. So how does it stack up? I can't say for sure because I have never tried either and neither has Irene. So, off we go to Natures Fare health foods in Westbank. Amaranth where are you??? Hello! What's this? Ahhh, NuGo!

A few days ago I saw this company on The Feed Bags Twitter. They were called NuGo Nutrition and they make organic, vegan, nutrition bars. I showed Noriko their name and asked if she would help me look for them so that we could have a bite to tie us over until our late lunch. We split up and she found them almost immediately. To make a fare decision on which one to pick and split, I told her the two I didn't want to eat, and asked her to make the choice. We bought their Mocha, Dark Chocolate. It was soo delicious AND satisfying!

THANK YOU NUGO!!

The rest of the evening was pretty mellow with some grocery shopping and a light snow. Good day all in all. And the best part for me was spending time with my family. The heart of it all.

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Pedometer Time
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Leap Year Shout Outs

Cycle Three: Achieve! Day 1 - 2012 Leap Year Shout Outs!

2012-01-01T23:24:00.000-08:00

This is not the end of the world. This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship with myself.
Hi Everyone!

In the calendar of our minds, today we have all turned over a new page to welcome a new year. In fact, we have an advantage on our side for 2012, 366 days - yes it's a leap year! So in case you mess up big time this year, consider that you receive a get out of jail free day, dust off your feet and keep moving. Like Miss. Stacey told Anne Of Green Gables, "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it."
And, I do believe that it is sweet. Why so?

The Feed Bags have begun to correspond, message, text and tweet about our story to friends, family, professionals and even
strangers. The response has been good thus far. I haven't seen any numbers jump as far as people reading our blog, but we have had a healthy amount of people respond to us in other means. This is very encouraging and it helps to solidify the relationship I have with others. By this I mean that I no longer feel that Irene and I are the only ones working together to take this dietary challenge.

I also have read many people's resolutions, goals, and strategies for the upcoming year. The common theme that washes over every body is wellness. What is wellness? According to one dictionary, wellness is 1. the quality or state of being healthy in body and mind, especially as the result of deliberate effort. In my opinion, this encompasses a wide variety of results for people. One may choose to reduce stress in the work place by taking 5 minutes of their break to stretch, others may feel the need to quit smoking or incorporate home cooked meals into an already busy schedule. I applaud every one who is making a conscious decision to put forth physical effort to achieve their personal wellness. I, for one have a few goals in mind, two of which are sticking to my dietary program and continue to work toward my goal weight. This is not a new goal for the new year, this is something specific I have to remind myself of every day.

This particular goal of mine would definitely have been harder to achieve if it were not for the help of my sponsor and aunt, Irene. I drove from Calgary to Westbank in late November 2011 so that Irene and I could begin "nutritional therapy" together. Since the beginning, we have lost a combined weight of about 30 lbs. As many of you know, Irene's journey began on December 4, 2010, the day she started the HCG Diet. Irene has lost over 120 lbs! Personally I think it's more, but she down plays her success in many ways as she is unable to accept this weight loss. To Irene, this weight loss is a fact, not reality. So she knows she has lost the weight because she can see it, but does not believe in her mind that she has accomplished anything. That is perfectly acceptable and reasonable because when she is ready, she will flourish like a butterfly morphing from it's chrysalis.

I am quite the opposite of Irene when it comes to weight loss and fitness goals. Irene sees and feels the weight loss, I have lost 23 lbs so far and feel no different. I measure myself regularly, Irene doesn't want to see numbers. Irene weighs herself about once a week, I weigh myself daily. I like to feel the burn, Irene not so much. A true testament for the success of a diet program is largely scaled upon not just what kind of results are produced, but also on what kind of person is capable of seeing results. What may be good for a diabetic may not be good for a pregnant woman or someone with food allergies. However, the Feed Bags being almost polar opposites with habits and likes, are still able to not only enjoy The 17 Day Diet but also flourish under it's guidance and still lose weight. What more could we want? ONE BILLION DOLLARS??? Meh.

Here are five things that I have learned from my past failed efforts and successful goals achieved:

1. Keep your ideals realistic so that you will be able to reach them with minimal trials. Thinking BIG is great, but be sure to implement a baby step procedure to reach your intended destination.

2. If you stumble, only you are responsible for yourself getting back up again. Laying blame and making excuses only create delay in your progress.

3. Forgive yourself for mistakes, no matter if they are willfull or unconscious mistakes. Being hard on yourself hinders progress and wastes healthy energy.

4. Allow your personal self improvement to serve as a positive daily reminder. Leave yourself post it notes on the bathroom mirror or on the fridge to keep you focussed.

5. Reach out. Having a support system can only lead to motivation that will assist you in achieving your goals. I have Irene, but have reached out to friends, other family members, professionals and many others.

I wish everyone out there a happy and healthy life and much success on your road to wellness. Please feel free to contact us if you need a boost of confidence or extra support. I am freely offering my services (for now)! Ha ha ha ha... Remember I am not a medical professional. I am just one amazing girl with outstanding experience! Ha ha ha ha... oh I kill myself!

Special thanks to the following in alphabetical order:

Abd-ElRahman Youssef - Mechatronics Engineer & Fungi
Andrew - Chief Juicer at 877 My Juicer dot com
Asif Premji - My Favourite Tweeter & Buddy System Enthusiast

Body Biotics - Upward Quest Natural Supplements
BUZZ - Media Personality & Our Local Version of The Dude

Dr. Oz - Really? Need I say more?
Dr. Stacia Pierce - Success Coach, Mentor and Author

Eat Local Grown - Data base to find local market growers

Hannah Crum - Master brewer of Kombuchka Tea

Irene - Co-dieter & sparring partner!

James Farmer - Developmental Coach
Jamie Oliver - Inspiration with a whisk!
Jaime Oliver's Food Revolution Team
Jeffrey Straker - Ivory Tickler & Teller of Tales

Kate Manchester - Promos Edible Communities in NM
Kevin Smith - Boot Camp Ninja

Mandy Randall - Blonde Bombshell & Lover of Picnics
Max Goldberg - Verified, organic, passionate and handsome!
Mojoz Surf N Snow - Westbank's Premier Ski & Board Shop

NuGo Nutrition - Awesome Nutrition Bars!

Patricia Forrest - Problem solver, ring leader, consultant
The Pink Apron - Fellow Blogger

Rochelle Forrest - Inspirational Author and Health Coach

Waves Coffee Houses - Canadian Goodness
Wayne Goss - Make Up Whiz & Professional Winker!

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! When We're Together
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Measurements

Cycle Two: Activate! Day 17 - Measurements

2011-12-31T21:40:00.000-08:00

Messa's Measurements on The 17 Day Diet Program*:

December 15, 2011 January 1, 2012 Difference

Head Circumference: Head Circumference:
56.5cm = 22 2/8" 56cm = 22" - 0.5cm = 1/8"

Neck: Neck:
41cm = 16 1/8" 39cm = 15 3/8" - 2cm = 6/8"

Shoulders (around): Shoulder (around):
118cm = 46 5/8" 119cm = 46 7/8" + 1cm = 2/8"

Chest: Chest:
131cm = 51 5/8" 126cm = 49 4/8 - 5cm = 2 1/8"

Waist: Waist:
123cm = 48 3/8" 123cm = 48 3/8" No Change

Hips: Hips:
137cm = 54" 136cm = 53 4/8" - 1cm = 4/8"

Left Bicep: Left Bicep:
39cm = 15 3/8" 40cm = 15 6/8" + 1cm = 3/8"

Right Bicep: Right Bicep:
39cm = 15 3/8" 39cm = 15 3/8" No Change

Left Thigh: Left Thigh:
73cm = 28 6/8" 73cm = 28 6/8" No Change

Right Thigh: Right Thigh:
73cm = 28 6/8" 75cm = 29 4/8" +2cm = 6/8"

Left Calf: Left Calf:
45.5cm = 17 7/8" 45cm = 17 6/8 - 0.5cm = 1/8"

Right Calf: Right Calf:
44cm = 17 2/8" 45cm = 17 6/8" + 1cm = 4/8"

Left Ankle: Left Ankle:
27cm = 10 5/8" 28cm = 11" + 1cm = 3/8"

Right Ankle: Right Ankle:
27cm = 10 5/8" 27.5cm = 10 7/8" + 0.5cm = 2/8"

*Please not that metric (cm) measurements are more accurate than standard (inches) measurements. The numbers I have recorded in standard are to the closest 1/8 of an inch.

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Leap Year Shout Outs
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! The Gift