The Horn Section

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob Falls in Love" (1955)

2025-12-27T13:00:00.000-08:00

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob Falls in Love" (1955 Laurel-McCadden Productions/CBS-TV) Original Air Date: October 20, 1955. Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary DeCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Lola Albright as Kay Michaels, King Donovan as Harvey Helm, Yvette Duguay as Linda, Minerva Urecal as Mother-in-Law. Written by Paul Henning and Bill Manhoff. Directed by Rod Amateau.

Series overview of LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW is at this link.

"Oh, you don't know me. I'm the Bob Collins no one knows. I'm home loving, I'd like to settle down, raise a family. I'm the Bob Collins he pretends doesn't exist."

In this continuation of a story arc (third installment) started with Bob Meets Fonda's Sister we are introduced to Bob's "other self", who bemoans all that wasted time going out with a different model every night. Other Bob sees Kay Michaels as our best and possibly last shot at domestic bliss and foils our playboy's dalliances better than Margaret or Schultzy ever could.

"It's harder for Cupid to hit a moving target."

As you'd expect, after all, Other Bob is our shutterbug's subconscious. Just a few slips of the tongue (calling Linda "Kay" at inopportune moments) sends our loverboy out of Linda's apartment and, presumably, into his own cold shower at home. As you'd expect, Other Bob has company there in trying to get our hero to the altar: sister Margaret recognizes her brother's hiccups as a telltale family sign that's he's in love, and Harvey Helm is also overjoyed at the thought of his Air Force buddy finally walking down the aisle.

"So it's finally happened to Bobby!"

Well, we're led to believe it finally would have, but fortunately Bob's better half had a helper who couldn't get out of his own way--not the first time, nor the last time that would happen. Our flesh and blood introduction to Ruth Helm wouldn't arrive until The Sergeant Wore Skirts, but we're given the essential gist of Harvey Helm's happy life via a one-sided phone call to her that Bob Newhart would be proud of.

"The first thing in the morning I'm going to get her the biggest diamond in this town."

That's the line that spurs the 1 A.M. call, which itself inspires plenty of sleep-deprived profanity from Harv's beloved. The thought of Bob getting hitched gets her laughing, at least, but Harvey pushes back for once when he realizes his mother-in-law is staying with them. The latter will be especially unfathomable in the future once we meet Ruthie (Mary Lawrence) in the flesh, but henpecked Harv is a little braver with the distance provided by a phone.

"Bobby, can I spend the night with you please?"

Simultaneously both a quintessential LOVE THAT BOB episode and an anomaly, Bob Falls in Love is one sterling example of Henning's ability to have his cake and eat it too--much like his lead character. Traditionalists can take the side of Inner Bob and point to the Playboy's potential to change, but much like a coach making halftime adjustments, the Wolf wins out in Act Two, soundly reasserting the subversive status quo while nevertheless giving the marriage minded a late episode fantasy of Beta Bob. (Yeah, that show would have lasted about a month.) Incidentally, Bob's many little cameoing Collins' are played by the real life Cummings children.

"Mother, please don't yell at Bob like that! You'll wake the children!"

Unfortunately for everyone but Bob's "worse" half, high strung Harv blows the nuptials with his very early morning eagerness. The ensuing phone call triggers an avalanche of red flags: Ruthie managing all finances, Harv walking the floor with the baby, working nights instead of clubbing, and a lunch allowance for the hard working husband. It all culminates in a dream sequence that cures Bob of any notion of wedded bliss--terrorized by a mother-in-law (a hilarious Minerva Urecal) just like Harvey's!

"You would have seen me if you hadn't been asleep on the job, you miserable worm!"

By making Kay Michaels' mother the primary villain of Bob's hallucination, Henning and friends wisely keep her desirable, and we're not quite done with Lola Albright just yet. Scared away from the alter, he's nevertheless jealous enough to block Jack Carson (as himself) when he tries to cut in the following week (Hawaii Calls). Albright's five episode second season arc concluded with Wedding, Wedding, Who's Having a Wedding? but she returned for a terrific two parter in the show's third season.

"oh, Kay" "uh, that kiss, it was OK!"

Lola Albright takes center stage, and no one came closer to actually sealing the deal with Collins during the show's five year run. But a little love needs to be shown to unsung (these days) Yvette Duguay, child actress of the 1940's who graced many a western throughout the 1950's as an adult, notably in this most serious of all MAVERICK segments. Returning to LOVE THAT BOB after the first season's The Eyes of Texas, Duguay was praised by director Arthur Lubin (FRANCIS COVERS THE BIG TOWN) as "a rare actress with a bottomless well of emotion". That well remains largely untapped in this episode, and Duguay unfortunately didn't appear after the show's second season. Her career ended in 1960, and her life was sadly short as well--she passed away in 1986, only 53.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Bob was blocking himself for once, though the usual suspects were certainly with his alter ego in spirit.

DID BOB SCORE?

Couldn't get out of his own way with Linda during this installment, but maybe he mended that fence after the fadeout when he was cured. He had four children already in his dreams with Kay, so he certainly didn't see a scoreless marriage in his crystal ball.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Downright brilliant flirtation with the conventions LOVE THAT BOB always flouts, with our boy literally fighting himself in addition to his usual obstacles. Albright and Dugay hold interest at least as well as Lansing and Gaye would in the show's middle years, and while many shows joked about the limitations of marriage, this show always gave added bite to those barbs. This would only sharpen when Ruth Helm started appearing in the flesh, but even without her physical presence Bob Falls in Love is still one of the show's best subversions. (**** out of four)

If you'd like to check out this one for yourself, courtesy YouTube:

F TROOP Fridays: "The Great Troop Robbery" (1966)

2025-11-28T17:00:00.000-08:00

F TROOP Fridays - Number 43

F TROOP: "The Great Troop Robbery" (ABC-TV/Warner Brothers 1966) Season Two, Episode 39. Original Air Date: October 6, 1966. Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Bob Steele as Duffy, Joe Brooks as Vanderbilt, Ivan Bell as Dudleson. Special Guest Star Milton Berle as Wise Owl. Written by Stan Burns and Mike Marmer. Directed by Seymour Robbie.

Talk about a con man getting conned. Corporal Agarn has purchased Thunder the Wonder Horse from a traveling medicine show. Dubbed "the smartest horse in the West", Thunder doesn't live up to his billing when attempting to dance or count, but when Agarn channels his inner Evel Knievel, Thunder is smart enough to pull up before jumping a hitching rail. Unfortunately our Corporal kept going, and ended up concussed and confused as a result.

"THAT'S the smartest horse in the West?"

Post-injury Agarn is behaving strangely: much more astute in his judgement despite misremembering his name and O'Rourke's among a number of memory lapses. One might consider this a positive side effect, but then the entire troop is robbed of money and belongings and Randolph's strange behavior and close proximity makes him the primary suspect. Crazy Cat and Dobbs are also under suspicion, and the troop turns to the new Hekawi medicine man Wise Owl to investigate.

"He go from tribe to tribe--has couch, will travel!"

Milton Berle guest starring on F TROOP. This was apparently after the showdown with Tuck that has only become more legendary over the years, so I can only imagine what locker room talk on the set was like. While we viewers can't be privy to that, we do get a heaping helping of witty onscreen dialogue from Burns and Marmer (Too Many Cooks Spoil the Troop). A lot is generously thrown Berle's way, he gets all the usual wisdom (see below) and Chief Wild Eagle deferentially vouches for the traveling psychologist/detective/medicine man. Spoiler alert!--Wild Eagle's endorsement ultimately proves to be a rare lapse in his judgement for the usually savvy Hekawi leader. I can say rare, but not unprecedented (Honest Injun).

"For confession, getting there is half the fun!"

It isn't just the Chief showing very special respect to our guest. After Wild Eagle's endorsement, O'Rourke hires Wise Owl to identify the thief and recover the stolen property for $2 hourly. The Captain is also taken in, putting his savings at risk to trap the guilty party and even giving the Wise one use of his office! One has to wonder why such a revered shrink and investigator feels the need to put that seemingly thriving business reputation in jeopardy by theft--maybe he just can't control his kleptomania?

"Vanderbilt isn't aiming at us, Sergeant."

"I know that. If he was I wouldn't be worried!"

As was the case in their previous entry, Burns and Marmer give our secondary characters a little extra love. Vandy hilariously guards the barracks after everything has been stolen, and suspects Dobbs and Crazy Cat get more time in the spotlight than usual, albeit via the Wise One's rather brutal interrogation methods. The anticipated sly satirization of absolute power and its abuse is followed by the first limits to that hastily granted power--Wise Owl has Parmenter and Wild Eagle pulling their respective manuals out. While Dobbs and Agarn both face blazing heat in his efforts to draw an admission, Crazy Cat probably endures the cruelest questioning.

Berle doesn't disappoint with the wide berth he's given. He's nowhere near as hammy as Rickles nor as imposing as Korman, contributing mightily to this most vaudevillian of F TROOPs. A thoroughly appropriate assignment for the writers, who were on the staff of Berle's 1966 series comeback (that lasted only a week into 1967 on ABC) and later worked together on practically every successful variety show of the late 1960's and 1970's (i.e. DEAN MARTIN, FLIP WILSON). This was their second and last F TROOP, with both their freelance scripts proving to be winners.

"Not think Crazy Cat type to steal."

While Wild Eagle originally outs Crazy Cat's wampum problems at home, it is heartening to see that when the chips are down the Chief gives Crazy Cat the grace that his assistant rarely (re: never) gives him. O'Rourke casually throws Dobbs into harm's way in an effort to deflect suspicion from his amnestic V.P., but to be fair the Sarge knows the Captain will protect his orderly. As always, keeping business running smoothly probably motivates our Enterprisers more than altruism, and con man Wise Owl cannily plays them against one another to divert all eyes away from him. His eventual slip of the tongue is abrupt and obvious, but doesn't detract from an otherwise really good (if not transcendently so) time.

Oh, and there's a cute almost-reference to Wise Owl's Medicine Man predecessor from the first season, but apparently the inventor of the RoarChick test (ha!) is in fact a different guy actually named Roar Chick and not this elder statesman seen standing behind Wild Eagle:

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

None of the thefts were a direct hit, but one can assume that the troopers being short of funds can't be a good thing for the saloon.

HEKAWI WISDOM?

How enthusiastically did they roll out the red carpet for Mr. Television? He gets three aphorisms to the Chief's zero! The first two: "When fox look at sky, Easter get bitten on kneecap by toothless rabbit." The second makes a little more sense, though it provokes one of Tucker's greatest reactions of the series: "Sometimes not wise to be wise--more wise to be unwise!'

BAITING THE CENSORS?

Which brings us to our third Wise Old saying: "When shadow of wet bird fall on crooked log, time out for beaver." Followed by Wise Owl abruptly ending his session with Agarn after seeing this P.O.V.:

Wise Owl looks ready to walk over to her as the camera leaves. Mmm hmmm....

PC, OR NOT PC?

Any lechery that followed that was kept offscreen, and Wise Owl gives some equal time to the traveling medicine show after paleface Professor Cornelius Clyde hoodwinked Wild Eagle and most of the troop in season one. As noted above, the white men are just as deferential to all knowing Wise Owl as the natives, and he's no noble Native, already absolutely corrupted before getting absolute power over the investigation. He's just as tyrannical to his own as the white suspects if not even more so. Takes a while for O'Rourke to catch on to him, but to be fair the threat of losing his Vice President was more than a little distracting.

THE ALL IMPORTANT NIELSENS:

Uncle Miltie's appearance probably didn't hurt, but the bigger factor in the highest Thursday rating to date (18.8 rating, 33.2 share) was likely lead-out TAMMY GRIMES (9.9!) getting replaced at 8:30 P.M. by THE DATING GAME (16.6). Berle was returning a favor, as Storch and Tucker had appeared on Berle's new series the previous Friday. Unfortunately they couldn't dislodge many viewers from MY GEISHA or THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. and Berle was a poor third in the time slot yet again with a 12.0/21.8 share. However, BERLE saw a spike the night after his F TROOP with a 13.8/25.3.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

With its venerable guest star who is forever linked with Tucker in Hollywood lore The Great Troop Robbery can't help but be one of the most famous F TROOP installments. Loads of fun but not quite as inspired as the business agreement that kick-starts the previous Burns/Marmer entry. Despite the thin plot and fairly obvious guilty party, a good job from Berle makes this sitcom's inevitable amnesia plot highly enjoyable despite its slightness. Originally rated it a half star higher; it's really close. (*** out of four)

Film Review: STAGECOACH TO FURY (1956)

2025-08-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

"Why the Hell isn't THIS on DVD/Blu yet?" -- Number 108

STAGECOACH TO FURY (1956 20th Century Fox/RegalFilms) Starring Forrest Tucker, Mari Blanchard, Rodolfo Hoyos, Wallace Ford, Paul Fix, Margia Dean, Wright King, Ellen Corby, Ian MacDonald, Leslye Banning, Rico Alaniz. Written by Earle Lyon and Eric Norden. Directed by William Claxton.

A disparate assortment of passengers on the titular stage are intercepted at a stopover by banditos expecting a gold shipment on the coach. Leader Hoyos kills one commuter (for keeping his pants from falling!) and wounds driver Fix, motivating his shotgun rider (and army Captain) Tucker to give up the actual bullion's location--destination unchanged. As Hoyos and company hold the travelers hostage, Tucker methodically waits for the right moment to strike back and flashbacks clue us in on what sent Blanchard, King and Ford headed towards Fury--and not just the town.

The very first of about fifty Regal Films to be produced in the late 1950s, STAGECOACH TO FURY spends a lot of time indoors on soundstages but offers a few novelties on the familiar situation of a diversified group held hostage by criminals. In this case, the viewer gets backstories for Fix's passengers indicating to us that the situation is grimmer than we thought; the "help" that Tucker is hoping for from within simply isn't courageous or inclined towards team effort. The lone exception to the latter is rewarded with a second chance while the true mercenaries get their just desserts. Whether it is retribution for their earlier misdeeds, current selfishness, or both is open to interpretation. Suffice to say they might have flunked a pop quiz from above.

Tucker's hero? Surprisingly no flashback for him, and no romance with top billed femme fatale Blanchard either-- Tuck's engaged to Banning. It doesn't stop him from standing up for Mari's honor when no one else will (which itself should clue the Captain in to the backup he's getting), Blanchard's virtue is much more dubious than Tuck realizes and when the chips are down it's Banning who stands up to her.

"The eyes, they are the windows to the soul. And these are such dirty windows."

Hoyos makes an intriguing antagonist; perceptive of Tuck's status but seemingly clairvoyant when it comes to Blanchard and (wanna-be) gunslinger King, with both meeting consequences at the hands of the banditos. This horrifies their fellow travelers, but to the viewers privy to each's true circumstances, deserve seems to have everything to do with it. Not that our thieves are avengers--they prove in the opening scene that the innocent aren't any safer than the guilty in their presence.

Hoyos' chain is only as sturdy as its weakest link, and that fatal flaw down the totem pole is found by the Captain, who is left completely in charge when Fix is wounded. While a predictable imperfection in the plans, it seems to be a spot check that the otherwise well prepared Hoyos would not miss (he has English speaking underlings). The lengthy hostage situation at the way station relegates the gorgeous Kanab, Utah scenery to the initial five minutes and the final fifteen, but even this limited outdoor exposure was enough to bring STAGECOACH TO FURY an Oscar nomination for best black and white cinematography (by Walter Strenge).

Both of Tuck's RegalScopes with Claxton and the writers turned a healthy profit ($147,000 and $135,000 respectively) in 1956-57, but while THE QUIET GUN ended up gaining a cult following and reevaluation over the years (culminating in a handsome Blu-Ray in 2015 from Olive Films), STAGECOACH TO FURY has largely vanished in the past few decades. While FURY isn't nearly as good as the taut, terrific GUN, it doesn't deserve its dismissal as a "flat outlaw holdup oater" in Maltin's Guide (which curiously never even listed GUN in the 1980's/1990's) either.

The star crossed Blanchard (after surviving polio as a child, she died after a seven year cancer battle at 47) was as underappreciated as the film; she would return to Regal Films to headline SHE DEVIL six months later. While that and other Regals have made it to home video, STAGECOACH TO FURY remains unjustly on the sidelines--unreleased even during the VHS era. However, you can now find it on YouTube:

F TROOP Fridays: "Reach for the Sky, Pardner" (1966)

2025-05-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

F TROOP Fridays: Number 42

F TROOP: "Reach for the Sky, Pardner" (1966 ABC-TV/Warner Brothers) Season Two, Episode 38; original air date September 29, 1966. Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane Angelica Thrift, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Bob Steele as Private Duffy, Joe Brooks as Vanderbilt. Guest Stars: Charles Lane as Mr. Maguire, Paul Sorensen as Tombstone, George Barrows as Pecos, Mary Young as Widow O'Brien. Written by Arthur Julian. Directed by Seymour Robbie.

The latest expansion of O'Rourke Enterprises is a literal one of the Fort Courage saloon's banquet room, designed to attract convention business away from Dodge City. The augmentation necessitated a loan from miserly Maguire, eager to foreclose on the lucrative property at the first missed payment. The deadline is no problem for the Sarge....until desperado train robbers make off with the Fort Courage payroll during their latest heist.

"I guess it's true what the Apaches say about him--Wild Eagle is a cheap, miserly skinflint who wouldn't give his own mother a piece of dried buffalo!"

"Never know Apache such good judge of character!"

With trooper IOU's no longer a viable source and time of the essence, O'Rourke pulls every string he can. Things look mighty dark after his business partners refuse to loan him the money, attempts to persuade a hardship emergency payroll are thwarted (partly since the real source of said hardship cannot be revealed to the Captain) and Maguire unsmilingly forecloses on poor old Widow O'Brien in front of them--so much for Irish sentimentality.

"Sarge, you saved your saloon!"

"What's that, Corporal?"

"I said the train arrives at Noon!"

Just when it looks like the saloon is about to change hands, a lifeline is thrown by the unlikeliest of sources--territorial headquarters! In the form of a second payroll via tomorrow's train. With no margin for error, O'Rourke and Agarn volunteer Parmenter to go undercover as mail clerks to ensure safe delivery. There's also a warning about the bandits, however: murderers wanted in four states. So is it a lifeline or a death line?

"Oh, Wilton, I just love it when you make these quick decisions!"

Your money or your life? The question that had Jack Benny thinking it over for a patented pregnant pause causes no such consternation for O'Rourke and Agarn--greed wins decisively. The troopers both voluntell their boss in head spinning fashion that they'll accompany the payroll. For his part, President O'Rourke never wavers, while V.P. Agarn separates slightly once they're on the train and reality sets in.

"If they get THAT payroll it'll be over our dead bodies!"

"YOU shoot it out with them, Sarge! I'd rather reach for the sky than BE there!"

Expansion of O'Rourke Enterprises is a frequent F TROOP storyline but usually involves the creation of new souvenirs or side businesses. This time, literal expansion of the existing cornerstone is the focus, with the Sarge looking to compete aggressively with Dodge instead of just extolling the 109 mile distance to that next saloon. It doesn't appear that the more fiscally conservative Wild Eagle was enthusiastic about this growth from his reaction to his partner's request for a debt relief loan. Wild Eagle's reticence to loan money to O'Rourke isn't surprising, but the Chief risking the potential loss of his lucrative whisky sales (maybe the next owner will buy Hekawi, maybe not) by not having his pal's back raises an eyebrow. He'd normally acquiesce after negotiating himself some solid vigorish.

While we're on the subject of the cheeseparing, Charles Lane moonlights from PETTICOAT JUNCTION and gives O'Rourke Enterprises a different kind of threat, one arguably more difficult to solve than any Inspector General to date. You'd think he could obtain the saloon by simply threatening to expose the Sarge's clandestine proprietorship, but takeover doesn't appear to be his primary motivation. Rightly so. If you're a banker it's probably more profitable for less of a headache to keep the vigorish coming in without actually running the place or trying to find a suitable buyer. Notice he shows no pleasure in obtaining the widow's property and considers it an immediate headache, wanting to unload it "cheap".

O'Rourke Enterprises seems to be a much more open secret than previously intimated, since it is used as collateral for Maguire's loan. But as long as Captain Parmenter is kept in the dark, that's all that matters. Nevertheless "the old man" is oh-so-close to getting in on the secret twice, once when he stumbles onto the construction (just missing the Sarge barking out instructions), and later after he smuggles himself onto the train to assist his undercover underlings. Fortunately the President and Vice President don't engage in any shop talk during that brief time that they are unaware of Wilton's presence.

Reach for the Sky, Pardner lacks a secondary plot, but that doesn't hurt this nimble entry from Julian, who bounces back nicely after the subpar How to be F Troop Without Really Trying. O'Rourke's search for alternate funding leads us through the lyrics from When Irish Eyes are Smiling, September in the Rain and (best of all) Oh! That's Good, No That's Bad in the first Act alone--one song for each stop, in fact. The only real quibble comes from killer bandits Tombstone and Pecos both being so distracted by the hot n' spicy letter that they fail to notice O'Rourke taking his gun off them while he listens. To be fair, that's an almost pornographic letter for 1866 and even pretty interesting a century and a half later--see more below.

It's a quite venerable guest cast this time, with Mary Young making her penultimate TV appearance at 87 alongside Lane, who was 60 but always looked 87 and had another three decades left in his career (he died at 102 in 2007). ROBOT MONSTER Barrows not only gets out of his usual gorilla suit but is also credited for a change, and Sorensen was over a decade away from his long running recurring gig as cartel oilman Andy Bradley on DALLAS.

NAGGING QUESTIONS:

One will come later, during Bring on the Dancing Girls. In that installment, Dan Larsen blackmails "the owner of the building" who is leasing to O'Rourke--yet here, O'Rourke must be the owner, since the saloon is his collateral for the loan. Well, is the Sarge owning or leasing? Which is it, Arthur Julian, since you wrote both episodes?

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

Sarge comes away with a nice windfall in the end that for once is related to his duties as a soldier instead of his illicit activities elsewhere. While things look shaky until that point, the banquet room will come in handy when Emilio Barberini passes through later (La Dolce Courage).

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH TREASON:

Zero, in fact he's a model soldier in spite of himself here, heroically capturing two killer bandits with assists from Parmenter and Agarn.

BAITING THE CENSORS:

Julian slyly gets a blowjob reference past them while Agarn reads the sexy letter: "you placed your lips on my mouth---(pregnant pause, turns page)---organ".

WISE OLD HEKAWI SAYING?

Wild Eagle is slipping--he can't recall the wise old Indian saying about lending money. The paleface have one of their own: "You don't lend O'Rourke the money, he loses his saloon! And stops buying whisky from you, and you walk around with holes in your moccasins!" A bit long winded, but the Chief concedes it isn't a bad little saying.

THE ALL IMPORTANT NIELSENS:

Reach for the Sky, Pardner underperformed the season average with a 17.3 rating/29.8 share, losing to DANIEL BOONE on NBC. Lead-out THE TAMMY GRIMES SHOW was really dragging ABC's fortunes down, posting an absolutely abysmal 9.9/16.6 in what would be the disastrous sitcom's fourth and final airing. With GRIMES gone the following week, F TROOP rebounded to a 33.2 share and began the climb back to 1965-66 levels that took the first half of the season to complete. Yes, GRIMES really was a debacle heretofore unseen on network television at the time.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

This time the status quo is threatened by a menacing miser, proving that black swan events for our Enterprises don't have to come from Washington, D.C. Wobbles a bit in its resolution but Julian has his feel for these characters back and Robbie (arguably the finest F TROOP director--close race with Rondeau IMO) camouflages the thinness of the plot nicely. O'Rourke Enterprises in peril is always a winner for this sitcom, and Charles Lane guest starring is a winner for any sitcom. Reach for the Sky, Pardner has both of these positives. (***1/2 out of four)

F TROOP airs 9 to 10 a.m. weekday mornings on Outlaw The Western Channel.

Guest posting at IT'S ABOUT TV! Today

2025-05-14T15:06:00.000-07:00

THAT BOB, with Tania Velia!

Very special thanks to Mitchell Hadley, author of the forthcoming DARKNESS IN PRIME TIME and several other television books. You know his IT'S ABOUT TV blog very well from my links on the right side of your page and weekly TV GUIDE posts every Saturday, and he has kindly invited me to provide today's guest post at his blog.

The occasion? An appreciation of THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW, a.k.a. LOVE THAT BOB, which turns 70 this year. Yes, I previously posted an overview of the series way back when on the 100th anniversary of the star's birth, but starting the episode guide on this blog has given me new perspective on my prior thoughts.

Gratuitously showing you Lisa Gaye (2nd from L) as I am apt to do

Check out today's post at this link, and check out this one for more information on Mr. Hadley's past and forthcoming literary works. We now turn back to our regular programming at The Horn Section, and will resume the ongoing episode guides next week. As always, thanks for reading!

F TROOP Fridays: "How to be F Troop Without Really Trying" (1966)

2025-04-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

F TROOP Fridays: Number 41

F TROOP: "How to be F Troop Without Really Trying" (ABC-TV/Warner Brothers 1966) Season Two, Episode 2; Original Air Date: September 15, 1966. Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat, James Hampton as Bugler Hannibal Dobbs, Bob Steele as Duffy, Joe Brooks as Vanderbilt. Guest Stars: George Tyne as Major Bradley and Les Brown Jr. as Lieutenant Harrison. Written by Arthur Julian. Directed by David Alexander.

Major Bradley is the latest visiting officer to ride into Fort Courage. Inspection? Hardly. F Troop has been ordered to train their own replacements, G Troop. The entire squad is being transferred to Bloody Creek, with the exception of one N.C.O. who will remain: Corporal Randolph Agarn.

This news is poorly received by all: Agarn doesn't want to be left with a bunch of strangers, Jane and Wilton don't want to be separated by distance, and O'Rourke surely doesn't want to be away from his lucrative side hustle (though, unbelievably, this isn't even brought up until Act II). An order is an order, however, and this is one time Uncle Sam seemingly won't be deterred by any shenanigans.

After The Singing Mountie opened F TROOP's sophomore season with a bang, the second color entry is a huge letdown. The weakest of the 36 segments to date, How to be F Troop Without Really Trying is almost completely incongruous with everything that preceded it--surprising since it was written by the most prolific of the show's writers, Arthur Julian. The single biggest issue is the complete impotence of Sergeant O'Rourke, heretofore the man who ruled while Parmenter reigned.

More fun than the audience is having, that's for sure

Much like Bilko at Fort Baxter a century after him, O'Rourke was the real mover and shaker at Fort Courage. When we met him in Scourge of the West, he'd already eliminated two Captains and a Major before Parmenter arrived (two desertions, one nervous breakdown) and gave him his "Great White Pidgeon"--the perfect C.O. for O'Rourke Enterprises. Presidency of that Enterprises paid well enough that a General's pay would be a salary reduction, and threats to the Sarge's business were eliminated one by one--be they from a quartet of visiting Majors (including one from the Bengal Lancers!) or from empowered members of Parmenter's esteemed military family. He might be temporarily bowed by each obstacle presented, but O'Rourke was never surrendering his highly profitable side hustle meekly.

That Sergeant O'Rourke is missing entirely from How to be F Troop Without Really Trying. Previously defending his Enterprises at all costs, he's oddly submissive to this order, deferring to Wilton's formal protest via official channels. The helplessness might be understandable, but not the apathy. The Sarge weirdly seems more concerned with the potential breakup of Jane and Wilton than with the loss of his own business until the literal day before the move, when he suddenly realizes he has one. Even then we get no real subterfuge from the NCO's or their partners, just a toothless threat from Wild Eagle to break the treaty which goes nowhere. A man willing to sabotage military strategy (to the point of letting the Hekawi take over Fort Courage once!) and even risk being burned at the stake to save his beloved establishment is now ungrudgingly handing the reigns to Agarn and becoming a soldier again. Hey...who are you, and what have you done with Morgan O'Rourke?

The impression given is that working on Major Bradley is completely useless against this bureaucratic order--one somehow superior to all the others previously faced. Why then, is it so abruptly overturned by a few seconds of post-Parmenter ineptitude (no worse than anything we've seen previously) by....Major Bradley? And Sarge does nothing to facilitate the eventual fatal flaw---that incompetent F Troop would produce trainees just as hopeless. He's already ridden off to Bloody Creek, when in fact this Achilles heel should have been one of O'Rourke's first thoughts, since this was his initial counter to the threat Bentley Royce posed in the aforementioned Phantom Major.

As for the Vice President, Corporal Agarn's response also lacks his previous greed and ambition. Before now (Play, Gypsy, Play and Lt. O'Rourke, Front and Center) eager to prove he could provide the brains of the organization just as well as the Sarge, Agarn is also a changed man for the worse. Yeah, he's always been gentler than O'Rourke, but never to the point of having no heart whatsoever for even keeping the Enterprises going without him. He's always been a weeper, but an avaricious one. Until now, that is.

"I was told you even smoked the peace pipe."

"I didn't inhale!"

With complete changes in our characters that normally would never be found outside of a dream sequence, there's little to recommend about How to be F Troop Without Really Trying. It is historically significant for the above line, a quarter century before Bill Clinton famously used it, and also as the very first example of the "Who says I'm dumb?" exchange that would rival the falling lookout tower as F TROOP's signature running gag. The rest of the time, this slow moving plot give us lots of ineptitude-fueled slapstick and sappy sentimentality failing to bolster Julian's still-solid wordplay. Fortunately, O'Rourke and Agarn would return to being their normal materialistic selves in subsequent weeks, thankfully making this dire affair an outlier.

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

About to go bankrupt without a whimper, apparently. We never even visit the saloon and it is as if it doesn't even exist this week. Strangely, O'Rourke has all that merchandise surrounding him while he sits in the NCO Club while he worries about the fate of the Wilton/Jane romance. Yes, really.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON?

He did consort with the enemy when he advised the Chief to threaten to break the treaty. That's still a far cry from actually throwing battles or paying for easily repelled attacks, though, and not nearly as much fun.

WISE OLD HEKAWI SAYING?

Not much wisdom from anyone young or old in this. Parmenter had a long-winded quote from his father that defended seemingly unjust Army orders, but extra verbiage didn't equal extra wisdom or humor.

HISTORICAL FACTS:

Agarn asks Duffy to send him a letter Pony Express about his Alamo exploits, with the Private reminding him that it stopped running five years ago. ("I know that Duffy.") It did in fact cease operations in October 1861, so apparently How to be F Troop Without Really Trying takes place exactly one century prior to its September 1966 air date.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

The worst installment to date by far and arguably the worst of the entire series. Other segments that didn't get the show's characters right were usually done by freelancers or first time F TROOP scripters. Writing his 15th episode here, Arthur Julian has no such excuse. Fortunately, this was not indicative of a new direction. Sandwiched between The Singing Mountie and Bye, Bye Balloon, How to be F Troop without Really Trying is an isolated dud best skipped over while you are binging IMO. (1/2 star out of ****)

F TROOP is currently airing weekdays at 9 a.m. Eastern on THE OUTLAW NETWORK.

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob and the Ballerina" (1959)

2025-03-25T19:51:00.000-07:00

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob and the Ballerina" (NBC-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions 1959) Original Air Date: May 5, 1959. Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Sylvia Lewis as Natasha, Lawrence Dobkin as Maestro Bert Prival, Elvia Allman as Sylvia Montague, Marjorie Bennett as Betsy Niemeyer, Larri Thomas as Daphne, Jean Willes as Evelyn Engel, Tammy Marihugh as Tammy Johnson. Written by Paul Henning and Dick Wesson. Directed by Bob Cummings.

Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide is at this link.

Missing out on a beach vacation because her ladies' club is hosting a ballet, Margaret is dismayed to learn the the production of Swan Lake is troubled despite the secured services of director Prival and star Natasha. The source of the trouble? Here's a hint: after calling in with a "charley horse" for today's rehearsal, Natasha was observed leaving her apartment with a bearded gentleman.

"If you ask me, the horse is a wolf!"

Yes, the only one making any progress with the temperamental star is Margaret's brother Bob. Prival bemoans that Natasha has missed multiple rehearsals, and is too pooped to pirouette when she does show. Prival is ready to resign, but the ladies beg for patience: in a last ditch effort to save the production, they've set a trap to catch the couple and move practices to a top secret location away from El Lobo.

"Stay quiet as mice and we'll catch a rat!"

The second half of Bob and the Ballet, Bob and the Ballerina continues that installment's effort to get back to the show's basics and steer away from the Tammy Marihugh Experiment. Over a decade before THE BRADY BUNCH crashed and burned with Cousin Oliver, THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW attempted to introduce a youngster to idolize Bob with the pending departure of Dwayne Hickman to headline DOBIE GILLIS. The eight episode Tammy arc accelerated the show's diminishing returns both creatively (we were past 150 episodes at this point) and in the all important Nielsens, so Tammy and her aunt are jettisoned to a beach vacation in the first thirty seconds so Bob can get back to horndog mode. And as Tammy exits, nephew Chuck returns--for Act One, anyway.

Finally, after several episodes trying to woo Tammy's widow aunt Evelyn, Bob is back to being our Playboy, sweeping the ballerine leader right off her feet. "The King" is back in top form: Natasha is miserable when she's missing practices, but her interest level trumps all and Bob's organ is beating Bert's organizing, so to speak. Since Margaret's culture committee needs its star, Maestro Prival has a lot of backing in his efforts to reclaim Swan Lake's star attraction.

Womanizing is back on the front burner, Chuck's back at home, Bob is in full lothario mode (just can't wait until the show is over to woo her, can he?) and facing many obstacles to his latest conquest. What's not to like? The problems that preceded ersatz domestication remain: creative exhaustion with over 160 episodes in the can and a reduced writing team. In LOVE THAT BOB's prime years we had a trio or quartet of scripters but Henning and Wesson had to handle the entire 38 episodes for 1958-59 themselves. The strain shows: while this plot is faithful to the original premise, the execution isn't as crisp as before despite Cummings' disciplined direction.

Bob and the Ballerina isn't overly reliant on slapstick like a few other fifth season entries, but isn't quite as inspired as the show at its peak either. Natasha remains "tired, temperamental and uncooperative" when rehearsal is moved, so Bob seems more like a scapegoat instead of the root of the problem. The denouement seems to open up more problems for Prival--how cooperative will jealous Natasha be working with Daphne now that she thinks the latter has been trying to steal her man? Bob's comeuppance is based on wrongful accusation; it was always funnier when he crashed and burned under his own hubris.

NATASHA: These are legs of a prima ballerina!

PRIVAL: Those are legs of Primo Carnera!

Still, there are some terrific lines and sight gags here, and Dobkin is inspired as Prival. The real Bert Prival started dancing in the 1920's with the Metropolitan Opera and kept his durable L.A. dance studio until 1981. Dobkin's fictional version is meticulous, enjoying telling off his fickle star when he thinks he has a replacement, and hilariously obsequious once he realizes he doesn't. He isn't a romantic rival for Natasha, but he sure looks envious at Bob's mastery of her moods.

The great Sylvia Lewis is still with us at 93, and makes her sixth series appearance after playing an eponymous model during the first two seasons. Her lifelong friend and fellow dancer Larri Thomas passed through for the only time with this two parter; a shame, she'd have fit right in as one of the many models in Bob's studio and has a funny scene throwing herself at him (Bert's idea).

The retro approach makes this one of the best episodes in the final stretch for BOB CUMMINGS; with only nine episodes to go, we had the return of Tammy (thankfully, no longer a focus) and more "name" stars playing fictionalized versions of themselves (Ken Murray, Harry Von Zell) yet to come in efforts to freshen the humor. But what worked best for LOVE THAT BOB was simple trust in its original premise, and Bob and the Ballerina offers solid proof of that despite falling short of top tier status.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Outside of Chuck, who isn't given security clearance for the top secret rehearsal location, everyone is trying to stop our boy this time.

Go away, boy, you bother me!

DID BOB SCORE?

Seems likely from the comments at this episode's outset that he already has with Natasha....see next section:

MOST SUGGESTIVE LINE:

"You can dance one length in your sleep...and a couple more nights like last night and you will!"

See what I mean? The mob is successful in stopping Bobby Boy from any repeat performances during this one, albeit through wrongful accusation. For once he isn't two timing! It also seems like this comeuppance is unlikely to stick for long, Natasha's mood changes early and often.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

It is great to see LOVE THAT BOB returning to its roots after flirting way too much with domestic conventionality for two months of shows, and Bob's carnal pursuits conflicting with his sister's charitable venture is always a winner. All that said, inspired scripts like Bob Gives S.R.O. Performance have put up a high bar to clear in that latter area, and while Bob and the Ballerina is a decent, slightly above average effort, Cummings and friends aren't quite all the way back to top form here. At least LOVE THAT BOB is looking like an adult sitcom again instead of coming painfully close to becoming what it spent four years lampooning. (*** out of four)

Courtesy of Vern's 16 MM Showcase on Youtube, here's a terrific 16 MM print with original Winston commericals of Bob and the Ballerina for your viewing pleasure. Yes, it is disabled on this site, so you'll have to click on the link to watch it there:

The WHITE SHADOW podcast with Cosmoetica

2025-03-01T18:57:00.000-08:00

Yours truly returned to Dan Schneider's COSMOETICA podcast this weekend and also returned to one of The Horn Section's earliest television posts, on the woefully underrated yet fondly remembered CBS series THE WHITE SHADOW, which aired 54 episodes from 1978 to 1981. COSMOETICA is one of the links I suggest you check out at the bottom of the right side of the page, as Dan has covered a wide range of great TV shows of the past, primarily covering the years 1965 to 1980.

Dan and Harv Aronson of Abstract Sports participated in the discussion with yours truly, in which we reminisce about the critically acclaimed and often prescient CBS series. In preparation for the podcast, I revisited my Season Two DVD review from back in the day, and binge watched the show. If anything, it looks even better to me today than it did in 2006. Or even 1981 for that matter.

Anyway, here's the link to the one hour podcast. On my second visit to Cosmoetica I was able to avoid technical difficulties this time around, so by all means check it out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzibTaiAgj0

Back with more reviews soon!

F TROOP Fridays: "The West Goes Ghost" (1966)

2025-01-24T16:50:00.000-08:00

F TROOP Fridays -- Number 40

F TROOP: "The West Goes Ghost" (1966 Warner Brothers/ABC-TV) Season Two, Episode 40: Original Air Date October 13, 1966. Starring Forrest Tucker as Sgt. Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, James Hampton as Bugler Hannibal Dobbs, Joe Brooks as Private Vanderbilt, Bob Steele as Trooper Duffy, Ivan Bell as Dudleson, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat. Guest Star Don Beddoe as Harry The Hermit. Written by Arthur Julian. Directed by Seymour Robbie.

Sergeant O'Rourke's latest scheme is arguably his biggest ever, big enough to need two new partners (Dobbs and Vanderbilt): homesteading Paradise Junction, a nearby ghost town. O'Rourke has inside information that the railroad will soon be passing through Paradise, and the Sarge feels the upside is high enough for the men to legally buy their way out of the army. It isn't the easiest sale to Agarn, but the two men who aren't benefitting from being Vice President of O'Rourke Enterprises already are ready to try it, and the Corporal follows suit.

"We can make a fortune here!"

"Selling dust?"

It's easy to see holes in the plan right away: Dobbs and Agarn will be the town dentist and doctor, respectively (that's what medical books are for, right?). "Man of Vision" Vanderbilt will run the hotel while O'Rourke runs the bank. Doctor Agarn is the largest obstacle once he's clued in by Jane and Wild Eagle that Paradise has literal ghosts roaming the grounds--those of Black Jack Crawford and Maud Fletcher.

As was the case in Captain Parmenter, One Man Army, O'Rourke decides to take his Enterprises into the civilian world. That was planned as a temporary side hustle, though--this time it's for keeps, with O'Rourke citing the Homestead Act (1862, one would assume) and planning to leave Army life for good. Attracting people to the abandoned former Paradise hinges solely on the Sarge's inside information on the railroad and it isn't much of a spoiler to reveal that the scuttlebutt has it wrong.

"If we believe in happy hunting ground in the sky, how tough is it to believe in ghosts?"

The President of O'Rourke Enterprises also had much more enthusiastic support from his regular partners in the previous season's venture. Wild Eagle has zero interest, though it appears his aversion is to offering whiskey on credit rather than the rumored apparitions. Since there are no residents in Paradise Junction yet, one must assume O'Rourke needs the red-eye advance for the regular saloon while he meets the financial requirements for the application.

"Are you sure Millard Fillmore ain't President?"

Unsuccessful at bringing life to the deserted Junction, O'Rourke does manage to solve the mystery of Blackjack Crawford: he's Harry the Hermit, who seems to be a big reason the town has no other residents. Not that he needs to scare them away, as he seems more than capable of annoying anyone away who comes near in our few minutes with him. Delightfully grungy here, ubiquitous character actor Don Beddoe's more than 300 credits included UNHOLY PARTNERS, the MAVERICK episode Rope of Cards, and HONOLULU LU and HOODLUM EMPIRE with Tucker.

With a pencil thin story to hang everything on and a punch line delivered long before the end, the key point of interest for The West Goes Ghost is seeing so many secondary characters in different duds. Vanderbilt gets more to do than usual (though the "sight" gags are never far away); Dobbs is the nominal adult in the room as his running season two rivalry with Agarn picks up steam; O'Rourke and Agarn's suits from One Man Army look funnier in color (particularly the latter); but Duffy's promotion all the way to three stripes after over thirty years of service seems like it should be a bigger event. Predictably, the new Sergeant's role model remains Davy Crockett.

After Agarn's disastrous kitchen foray in Too Many Cooks Spoil the Troop O'Rourke doesn't take any chances--Dobbs handles the cooking in Paradise. There's a great foreshadowing in-joke after the Bugler names the ingredients of his Louisiana roots-driven dinner: wild rabbit stew, corn fritters, mustard greens and black-eyed peas. O'Rourke responds by quoting the signature song of Tucker's childhood hero Phil Harris: "and that's what I like about the South!" Harris was three months away from memorably guest starring in What Are You Doing After the Massacre?

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON:

None; can't commit many military crimes when you're not in the service for ninety percent of the episode.

NAGGING QUESTIONS:

Lots. Why doesn't Captain Parmenter just show O'Rourke the letter requesting a railroad protection detail--proof that Paradise is being bypassed--instead of the elaborate ruse with Jane? Why doesn't Harry the Hermit stake a claim to the town, since he claims to have lived there 20 years? And why is Harry so quick to leave when he feels he has ghostly competition, since two decades seems like a Hell of a commitment to abandon in five seconds?

PROMOTIONS:

In Lt. O'Rourke, Front and Center the Sergeant's temporary commission resulted in equally temporary promotions to Sergeant (Agarn), Corporal (Dobbs), and Bugler (Hoffenmueller). Agarn and Dobbs join this venture, leaving F Troop with a distressingly thin bench. Duffy goes from zero stripes all the way to three, and Dudleson gets the bugler nod (he isn't really a downgrade, IMO). But apparently no one left can fill Agarn's shoes, since there's no temporary Corporal. Interestingly, the new cannon crew is able to miss the lookout tower, but unable to avoid hitting Jane's general store and the customers in it.

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

While the Paradise Junction venture yields no profits, one would hope he isn't out the cost of the homestead application yet and that he and the men get their buyouts back after the quick reenlistment.

WISE OLD HEKAWI SAYING?

Some wisdom regarding lending and the aforementioned quote on superstitions, but no literal saying this time.

PC OR NOT PC?

A stereotype is only being played up as an excuse. Wild Eagle isn't really afraid of ghosts, just of extending credit. Considering the success of the venture, he's proven right.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

The West Goes Ghost goes down easy enough during its inevitable journey back to the status quo. Some good lines by Julian and a rare chance to see everyone either out of uniform or in different positions but this one is awfully slight and seems padded well before the end of Act II. An average entry at best. Every Sixties sitcom needed a haunted house or town at least once and F TROOP did their comedy of horrors better with V is for Vampire later in the season. (**1/2 out of four)

F TROOP airs at 9 A.M. to 11 A.M. Eastern Time weekdays on The Outlaw Network.

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob's Economy Wave" (1957)

2024-12-16T18:03:00.000-08:00

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob's Economy Wave" (1957 NBC-TV/ Laurel-McCadden Productions) Original Air Date: April 18, 1957. Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Lyle Talbot as Paul Fonda, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Lisa Gaye as Collette Dubois, Maxine Gates as Maxine, Ralph Dumke as Leo the Butcher, General Clarence Shoop as Himself. Written by Paul Henning, Shirl Gordon, Phil Shuken and Dick Wesson. Directed by Bob Cummings.

Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB/BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide at this link.

Bob's Economy Wave is an annual occurrence after income taxes are paid each year (note the air date), so let the cost cutting begin. Challenged to do a better job with the food budget than Margaret is already doing, Bob baffles the family by bringing home what appears to be $100 worth of meat after exiting with a double sawbuck.

Well, $94.50 worth of meat to be exact; a phone call from Leo the Butcher reveals that Bob bartered his studio time ($100 value) photographing Leo's daughter Maxine in exchange for months of prime beef. Not wanting to give up on his original belt-tightening point, Bob enters into an agreement (overseen by Schultzy) that he will join the rest of them in sticking to a set "allowance"--a contract that may not make it 24 hours once Collette reminds him of their big date that evening. And speaking of big dates, Maxine arrives for her studio time and proves to be a literal eyeful.

Bobby boy is in full fledged stinker mode from fade-in to fade-out in Bob's Economy Wave. After the attempted subterfuge on his fair exchange fails he schemes to: fake Margaret out of their agreement with a phony phone call; paint the town rouge with Collette on Fonda's dime; and finally, shift that date with her to steak Chez Moi (by faking a cold).

"The man of iron is about to be melted, how you say, down?"

Each new ruse blows up in his face, and the faked call creates a bigger misunderstanding by giving Bob a second date that evening--one he'd never set up for himself knowingly. Bob succeeds surprisingly often during this episode guide--when he does crash and burn it is usually due to his own hubris (Bob Batches It) which often brings the same height of humor we got when BILKO overplayed a hand. The new wrinkle in Bob's Economy Wave is that our boy never knowingly two times Collette--it really is a misunderstanding. Bob's deadly sin this time is pride in his thrift.

"Did you photograph her?"

"With a wide angle lens..."

And, boy, is this a collapse worthy of the 21st century Miami Dolphins in December. When the music stops Margaret is dressed up and going out with Paul Fonda, but Collette's date for the evening is the very married General Shoop (his real life wife Julie Bishop is name dropped, so no hanky panky Shoopy!), and despite her fuming once she learns of Bob's (inadvertent, this time!) "two timing" she is thrilled to learn that Clarence is fluent in her native language. Bob? His date for the evening is the very eager Maxine, who keeps turning the lights out on him when they're alone and looking at "shy" Collins like he's one of those steaks on the stove.

"When Bob says he'll get a girl like that (snaps fingers) he means like that!"

Bob's Economy Wave may not offer many love lessons, but it does offer a historical lesson on the barter system. One could use it as Bob does here to fly under the I.R.S.' radar in the Eisenhower Era. It took another 25 years before Uncle Sam really got wise to it, with the Fiscal Responsibility Act of 1982 taking this loophole away. It seems like everyone wins financially: Leo the Butcher is ecstatic with his side of the deal. Hey, if daughter's happy, momma must be happy too. Bob's ultimate victory is open to debate, but at least he has yet to cave on his three way family contest at fade-out.

Ease up there Shoopy, Julie Bishop is waiting when you get home

"Parlez vous Francais?"

"Well, not enough!"

Bob may not be having much mirth onscreen when all is said and done, but the star obviously enjoyed directing this door slammer. Particularly the second act, which only leaves the maison for two calls. Suffice to say that the phone was consistently our playboy's undoing, whether the calls were incoming or not. I guess saving money by getting rid of it is out of the question though.

Maxine Gates was likely best known for her trio of Three Stooges shorts and brought her comedic timing back to LOVE THAT BOB in similar fashion for Bob, the Matchmaker. This was Ralph Dumke's only appearance here, but he was familiar to McCadden Productions as Mr. MacAfee in a quartet of BURNS AND ALLEN episodes. In its ninety-third episode overall, LOVE THAT BOB is past its halfway point but solidly in its prime, with its best team of writers (IMO) and director on a roll.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Bob blocked himself with his zeal to prove his superior management of the family purse strings in the view of yours truly. However, the final blow is delivered by "that wolf" Paul Fonda himself, who gleefully informs Collette of Bob's "other date". The end result was a definite downgrade in his evening's plans. To be fair, we all know Collette will be back and resuming her rivalry with Shirley Swanson in the future, but as for the present.....

DID BOB SCORE?

With Collette, an emphatic Hell no, and I'll bet old Shoopy could have if not happily married from the looks of things. But home plate is still available to Bobby Boy if he desires. He has the house to himself with his consolation prize, and from the looks of things he's going to need that steak dinner, since he'll be calorically depleted from running or being caught. Possibly both.

Lisa Gaye fresh out of the bubble bath. You're welcome.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

After viewing this episode and the riotous Bob and Automation it feels safe to say that Mr. Collins should just lay off the austerity plans for his fam. In that instance the end result was a swing and a miss with Millie Davis; here, it costs him what seems to be a certain score with Collette DuBois. Those draconian income tax rates from days of yore would be mined at deadline time a year later in Bob Retrenches, but this episode has higher stakes (Lisa Gaye, gents!) and with them higher comedic peaks, outdated fat shaming be damned. (***1/2 out of four)

Bob's Economy Wave was originally viewed on another YouTube account; while my original source for this episode is gone, there is this colorized version still up on YouTube so you can check the episode out for yourself:

GET CHRISTIE LOVE!: Teresa Graves in TV GUIDE, November 30-December 6, 1974

2024-12-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

Fifty years ago this week, Teresa Graves graced the cover of TV Guide, two months after the premiere of GET CHRISTIE LOVE!

"He throws her to the floor. She gets up. He knocks her down again. She kicks him. She stomps him hard with her foot and uses karate to toss him over her shoulder....Then Time out for Bible Study".

So begins Richard Warren Lewis' cover story, written some eight months after Miss Graves was baptized a Jehovah's Witness. Her trailer on set is noted to have a New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures and several copies of Awake magazine rather than the expected "Hollywood trade papers and dog-eared scripts".

Maybe this issue, from July 1974, was one of them

Graves relates spending 100 hours per month (nights and weekends) pioneering for Jehovah, and her agreement with producers guaranteed her a 5 P.M. release once a week for Bible study along with a two day furlough to attend the sect's Dodger Stadium assembly.

It's too bad TV Guide is typically skimpy with the photos, as the only accompanying one is shown above. Still, we do get a thorough retrospective on Graves' career, with the star apparently time limited (or perhaps reticent) and co-manager Laura Brillstein filling in the blanks for Lewis. "She played the hippy-dippy girl on LAUGH-IN, but that's not Teresa". Indeed it isn't, Miss Graves is a non-smoker and non-drinker who lives with and supports her mother. (This would incidentally also be the case some 28 years later when Graves sadly perished in a house blaze; Graves' mother had recently had a stroke and was hospitalized and thus not at the home when it caught fire in October 2002.)

Manager Laura Brillstein keeps a scrapbook for her client, admitting that "in six years, I don't think she (Teresa) has saved a clipping". She also admits that "we have no immediate plans for what Teresa is going to do if and then this series is over". Further, "she has expressed no tremendous desire to be a superstar. If it happens, it is going to be in spite of Teresa". As it would turn out, GET CHRISTIE LOVE! would be her Hollywood swan song: a year after this issue was on the newsstands, Graves had already walked away from showbiz for good at age 27.

Teresa Graves in VAMPIRA

One can certainly see that coming from reading Lewis' article. VAMPIRA (playing a titular creature) and BLACK EYE (as a bisexual girlfriend of the lead detective) are cited as two projects Graves had taken pre-conversion but would not have considered after it. Lewis himself notes the impact on her vehicle: "with the downgrading of violence has come a lessening of the show's original bite".

To further that thought, Cleveland Amory's review in this issue is POLICE WOMAN, NBC's more successful female undercover officer given a Friday time slot following SANFORD AND SON and new hits CHICO AND THE MAN and THE ROCKFORD FILES. Predictably, Amory isn't all that impressed with the show, but the review certainly describes the key difference between it and CHRISTIE succinctly. POLICE WOMAN has "so far given you either rape or prostitution every week, although once in a while, as a special treat, you get drugs!" Proving that POLICE WOMAN was giving the 10 P.M. audience what it wanted half a century ago, Angie Dickinson and the late Earl Holliman were off to a four year run on NBC. Meanwhile, the content restricted CHRISTIE was gone by the Spring of '75. GetTV has run POLICE WOMAN on weekends recently, though it is currently on hiatus.

This issue (mine is the Cleveland edition) contains a six-page TV Guide insert that you would only see in the heart of the Seventies: a Happy Hour Mixology with 45 drink recipes plus a Primer of Happy Hour Astrology! The picture makes it clear, this is your guide to impressing the opposite sex (and presumably, drunkenly getting it on after the Christmas party!).

Yes, you'll have all the answers when inevitably asked "What's your sign?"

And you'll have new fewer than 45 bartending choices, so your odds of being able to mix her favorite just got worlds better. TV Guide, giving you all your viewing choices AND helping you get laid for the holidays. But just in case you strike out (maybe you're just the wrong sign?) we've got TV listings for you too!

If you're not reading Mitchell Hadley's weekly vintage TV Guide reviews every Saturday at It's About TV, you should be. When he does an issue from the 1960's, he compares ED SULLIVAN to HOLLYWOOD PALACE; for his Seventies issues, we get DON KIRSHNER'S ROCK CONCERT versus MIDNIGHT SPECIAL every week. Following Mitchell's example, I'll do the same:

The Cleveland area has an embarrassment of riches at 1 A.M. early Saturday, first off. We have NBC's MIDNIGHT SPECIAL going head to head with not one, but two KIRSHNERs. Check it out:

MIDNIGHT SPECIAL gives us Tom Jones, Chuck Berry and....Kiki Dee??? Ok, two out of three ain't bad, especially when Tom and Chuck do a medley together. KIRSHNER 1 counters with Felix Cavaliere and Donovan; KIRSHNER 2 gives us Golden Earring, Bloodstone and Jo Jo Gunne. Neither is a bad option, but SPECIAL wins this battle hands down with two Hall of Famers. Having said that, check out a third option, WIDE WORLD IN CONCERT, going head to head with Carson an hour and a half earlier:

Kirshner created this monster, which ran on ABC approximately bi-weekly from 1972 to 1975, leaving it to go syndicated with the show bearing his name. And check out this powerhouse lineup with two Hall of Famers in its own right: Sly and the Family Stone? The late, great Minnie Riperton? And Rush, fresh off their first album? Easily eclipsing both Kirshner shows later that night, and it would create a dilemma if it aired at 1:00. It's likely that this was one of Rush's earliest shows with Neil Peart, who made his debut with the band on August 11 that year. Fortunately in this pre-VCR era, you can catch this at 11:30 PM and change the channel to MIDNIGHT SPECIAL right after for a phenomenal Friday night of concerts. And if you get lucky thanks to your newfound drink and astrology wizardry, you have some great music to make out to.

KIRSHNER might be beaten on Friday by the networks, but shows the power of syndication by having three additional cracks at it on Saturday night at 11:30, going head to head to head with himself on Channels 5, 9 and 35! We don't have a listing for Channel 35's offering, so if these two lineups don't float your boat you can take your chances with that one. Channel 9 offers Fleetwood Mac (pre-Lindsay and Stevie), Weather Report and Blue Swede (ooga chaka!) Channel 5's ROCK CONCERT counters with the Edgar Winter Group and Foghat. Suffice to say that no matter what your taste you could find some live music to your liking at some point on the weekends.

Speaking of multiple options in syndication, 1974 was a great time to be a GILLIGAN'S ISLAND fan living in Ohio.

Yes, that's GILLIGAN going head to head to head with itself at 4 P.M. on channels 6, 13 and 33, and channel 43 wisely avoiding the fray by airing its GILLIGAN a half hour after the chaos at 4:30! Better still, Channel 24 offered you a fifth trip to the Island at 7 P.M. each weekday! If you don't like MIKE DOUGLAS, MERV GRIFFIN or GILLIGAN though, your options seem somewhat limited. Though I could always deal with Charo in 1974:

You could too, admit it!

Getting back to our articles for a minute, it says something that Teresa Graves got the cover over two guys at the peak of their respective powers in December 1974. First we have Paul Newman, just a week away from hitting theatres in THE TOWERING INFERNO. His TV venture for the week is narrating The Wild Places for NBC, airing Monday the 2nd and spotlighting America's wilderness areas: a caribou range in Alaska, Utah's Red Rock Canyon and Minnesota's North Woods lakes among them. Newman likely had a tough go in the ratings against THE ROOKIES and GUNSMOKE though.

And second, John Denver, who got the plum spot of 8 P.M. Sunday night on ABC for his latest special, Back Home Again. Obviously, he plays that track, sings with guest Doris Day, and of course gets around to "Thank God I'm a Country Boy".

Dick Van Dyke and George Gobel help supply the comedy, and Denver gets his own showcase article indicating that many more ABC specials are forthcoming. Indeed there are, one or two annually through 1983.

Competing with Denver is the debut of AMY PRENTISS, yet another female detective making her debut in 1974-75. Jessica Walter has the title role in this spinoff of IRONSIDE (in its final season) and has a lot going for it: William Shatner guest stars in the debut and it is the newest spoke in the NBC MYSTERY MOVIE. Alas, both POLICE WOMAN and CHRISTIE LOVE outlast it: PRENTISS airs only three installments and is gone by February. All is not lost, though: Walter does win an Emmy for outstanding actress in a limited series, beating out Susan Saint James.

My Dolphins beat the Bengals 24-3 on MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL, but the one and only World Bowl, 1974's World Football League championship, takes place on Thursday night at 9 P.M. on Channel 61 with Jack Gotta's Birmingham Americans edging out Jack Pardee's Florida Blazers 22-21. The Americans led 22-0 going into the fourth quarter but a furious rally by the Blazers comes up a point short. Thrilling, no doubt, but I always hated the WFL for taking Csonka, Kiick and Warfield from my 'Fins and then folding. So I probably would do it like Pruitt and watch MOVIN' ON instead. You can catch it on Tubi and on ION network yourself in 2024.

Christmas specials won't kick into high gear for another week, but we do have Santa Claus is Coming to Town at 8 P.M. Thursday and Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus at 8 P.M. Friday, both on ABC.

My tough decision of the week comes on Sunday night, with a couple of choice reruns and a personal favorite film colliding at 11:30 P.M. Eastern. You get Buddy Hackett AND Steve Martin on a TONIGHT SHOW rerun. Even if Buddy can't be as hilariously blue as he would be on his HBO Special a few years later, it's still gotta be pretty great. Meanwhile WIDE WORLD repeats an EVENT from earlier (like I said, concerts on TV were incredible a half century ago) recorded during the legendary California Jam on April 6, 1974: Earth, Wind and Fire, the Eagles, and Seals and Crofts! Jackson Browne joined the Eagles, filling in for Don Felder (whose wife was giving birth). Just a fabulous lineup, arguably the best overall 90 minutes of live music in a week full of riches.

Marie Gomez (L) making the movie better, as always

And yet, I'm considering a third option: RIO CONCHOS on Channel 11 because my girl Marie Gomez is in it.

And wrapping up this look at TV GUIDE a half century ago this week, I'll take it back to another childhood crush of yours truly, cover girl Teresa Graves, who remains "eternally optimistic" and quotes the Apostle Paul for her closing quote on her way out of Hollywood stardom: "For all things I have the strength by virtue of Him who imparts power to me." We certainly missed her on the tube in the years to come, but she certainly found something in life more fulfilling to her than superstardom.

Agent Brillstein might have been about to lose a client, but hardly seems bitter: "She's found something for herself, a very calm, controlled way of life. Few people can live that way. She's very lucky."

And we were very lucky she shared her talents for a few years before moving on to her life's calling. R.I.P.

F TROOP Fridays: "Reunion for O'Rourke" (1966)

2024-08-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

F TROOP Fridays: Number 39

F TROOP: "Reunion for O'Rourke" (1966 ABC-TV/Warner Brothers) Season One, Episode 25; Original Air Date March 8, 1966. Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank de Kova as Chief Wild Eagle, James Hampton as Private Dobbs, Bob Steele as Private Duffy, Joe Brooks as Private Vanderbilt, Ivan Bell as Private Dudleson. Guest stars: Eve McVeagh as Wilma McGee, Ben Gage as Mike O'Hanlon, Marjorie Bennett as Ella Vorhees, Richard Reeves as Jim Sweeney. Written by Ed James and Seaman Jacobs. Directed by Charles Rondeau.

"Many years ago, tribe leave Massachusetts because pilgrims ruin neighborhood...."

Sergeant Morgan Sylvester O'Rourke lets slip to the Captain that he is celebrating his 25th anniversary in the service this month, but his accompanying furlough request is motivated by business rather than nostalgia: namely, a surplus of souvenirs needing a buyer. Unfortunately, an elevated threat of Indian uprisings has by-the-book Captain Parmenter denying O'Rourke's reasonable request.

The threat of losing his share of the profits has Agarn off to persuade Parmenter but the Captain coaxes the Corporal with an idea of his own: a surprise testimonial dinner. As planned by the C.O. the secret celebration will make travel unnecessary by bringing the Sergeant's oldest and dearest friends to Fort Courage for the occasion. Yes, Agarn puts sentiment ahead of profit once the Captain puts him in charge of the entire affair. But as demonstrated in Play, Gypsy, Play the previous week, there's good reason not to have him in the driver's seat.

"We have lined up the finest entertainment west of.....hey, what's just east of here?"

As I've noted in prior posts, series creators Ed James and Seaman Jacobs envisioned a more cynical F TROOP than what ultimately emerged once Hy Averback won the post-William T. Orr era power struggle on the set. Reunion for O'Rourke was as close as we ever got to a heartwarming outing from the James/Jacobs team, and you can forget about a sappy conclusion like those found in A Gift From the Chief or Will the Real Captain Try to Stand Up here.

"Sarge, if you ruin this night--I'll kill ya!"

Agarn temporarily putting his greed aside is an eyebrow raiser but makes sense here, as the opportunity for the second banana to run the show is the one thing almost as appealing as money to the frustrated subordinate. Softie underneath he may be, but the empowered Corporal really gives that hat a workout and even goes after O'Rourke with a hat rack(!) when the guest of honor refuses all efforts to lure him out for the surprise. He even rubs off on his underlings, as Duffy gives Vanderbilt a whack with his (likely decades-old) head covering.

The James/Jacobs attitude (also likely director Rondeau's) towards any F TROOP mawkishness is in evidence throughout O'Rourke's big night as every single attempt at hugs or tears is thwarted. Often violently. His old schoolteacher confirms that kid brother Morton was "the good kid" in the family and still holds a decades-old grudge over a frog in her teapot. Old girlfriend Wilma McGee still has her figure despite gaining eight children (the Sarge's reaction is one of the best laughs in an episode stuffed with good ones) and her own thriving Emporium (now this interests Morgan) from the husband she married "while she was waiting" for O'Rourke to come home. Two old buddies from the Mexican-American War have ended up on very divergent paths, to the peril of all party attendees--Mike O'Hanlon's shows us O'Rourke could be doing far worse things than his Enterprises.

"Where the Hekawi?"

Despite it's title and the numerous welcome tidbits from the Sarge's past, Reunion for O'Rourke is almost certainly best-remembered for the backstory provided for his business partners. Yes, this is the episode that reveals just how the Hekawi tribe was named. I won't reproduce the entire story; I couldn't tell it nearly as well as Frank deKova's Wild Eagle does anyway. Suffice to say it is a legendary moment among F TROOP aficionados that lives up to the hype.

Not long after his 2,038 performance run touring the country as THE MUSIC MAN, Forrest Tucker sings Dear Old Donegal. Or, I should say, finally gets in more than a line or two at the fadeout of Act Two. My Wild Irish Rose however is mostly ceded to the Hekawi Glee Club(!). At least until the coda. Par for the course for F TROOP, both are sung decades before they were actually written.

Once more, the co-creators allow O'Rourke to succeed where Bilko often failed, as the Enterprises finds that much-needed buyer in the Sarge's romantic past. No, he and Agarn will never get rich either, but they'll surreptitiously keep ill-gotten gains almost every episode. At least until the J.J.'s (and Rondeau) were completely out of the picture in Season Two. Too bad.

Look out for LOVE THAT BOB's Mrs. Niemeyer (Bob Gives S.R.O. Performance), Marjorie Bennett as the Sarge's still-angry third grade teacher, and for MAVERICK's James Arness impressionist extraordinaire Ben Gage (Gun-Shy) as the Sarge's shady old pal O'Hanlon aka The Canary Kid. O'Hanlon demonstrates the pitfalls of sentimentality in this universe better than anyone--if he could have forgone going to see his old friend, the Kid would still be at large and the most successful outlaw in the West at episode's end, right?

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

Way too slow at the outset, but a timely sale to the McGee Emporium gets the souvenirs moving again by the epilogue. Ever the shrewd negotiator, O'Rourke manages to make that sale without becomin' that father to eight blessed McGee young 'uns.

TIME PASSAGES:

O'Rourke states he "joined up for the Mexican War" and since it has been 25 years, this episode likely takes place circa 1871. O'Hanlon's statement that Morgan was a Sergeant 22 years ago (and 3 years after that enlistment) is contradicted in Our Brave in F Troop later: "it took me ten years to get these stripes!" In the coda, we learn that Chief Wild Eagle has been leading his tribe for 17 years. Hey, close enough for that golden sundial.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON:

Zero, with everyone putting any differences aside for one night to celebrate the Sarge's silver jubilee.

PC, OR NOT PC?

Natives and palefaces come together in peaceful harmony to pay tribute to the Sarge, and the Irish cultural appropriation by the Hekawis is received well by the patrons sans O'Rourke. The festive occasion even has by-the-book Parmenter cutting through red tape to let the Natives into the saloon, with the dangers of letting them near whisky going unmentioned.

THE ALL-IMPORTANT NIELSENS:

Reunion for O'Rourke scored well with viewers with a solid 21.4 rating and 31.6 share, both above the season average of 20.4/31.3. RED SKELTON led the 8 PM pack as usual with a 28.4/41.9 for the half-hour but the Troopers bludgeoned NBC's movie September Affair (15.7/26.3).

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Nice bit of symmetry for the show to celebrate O'Rourke's 25th year in the Army with its 25th episode. Reunion for O'Rourke demonstrates the show in full stride on all fronts; just a tad of unintrusive heart and chock full of laughs. I originally gave this the top rating and an extra half star for the classic Hekawi history story, and while I'm taking that half-star back in my revisionist rating, it's still a very worthy entry in a very worthy season. (***1/2 out of four)

F TROOP is currently seen weekday mornings starting at 9 A.M. Central Time on Outlaw TV.

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob Digs Rock n' Roll" (1958)

2024-06-25T11:50:00.000-07:00

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob Digs Rock n' Roll" (1958 NBC-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions) Original Air Date: May 27, 1958. Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Olive Sturgess as Carol Henning. Guest Stars Ingrid Goude as herself, Dan Tobin as Wallace Seawell, Stanley Stenner as himself, El Brendel as Ole Svensen. Written by Paul Henning, Dick Wesson and Shirl Gordon. Directed by Bob Cummings.

Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB/THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide is at this link.

Trouble in the McDonald/Collins household--Chuck has lost Carol to rock n' roller Stenner. Wishing to step up his game, Chuck wants $20 down payment on a guitar to compete with the singing sensation. Bob's reaction? Well, he explains it better than I can:

"A girl goes for the same thing she went for 2,000 years ago--a man! And you don't need an overgrown ukulele around your neck to get her!"

Chuck remains unconvinced, and determined to cut a deal at the pawn shop to compete with Stanley on a level playing field. Even learning that Stenner went to Bob's arch rival Wallace Seawell for his promotional poster doesn't commit our Playboy to his nephew's cause, since Bob has a girl of his own to win: the unattainable Goude.

"Uncle Bob, you don't know what makes the girls go ape!"

"Are you kiddin'? I've been monkeyin' around since I was twelve."

Miss Sweden is modeling for the day's bathing suit ad, giving Bob one more opportunity to close the language gap (and the deal) with the nubile beauty. Having tried almost everything else, Bunko Bob produces a medal proclaiming him Sweden's Greatest Hero. (Our playboy has made some pawn shop swaps of his own!) It looks like the big bad wolf might finally make some headway with the Scandinavian supermodel until Schultzy switches Bob's medal with janitor Ole's lookalike 'award'. All the while, Seawell's portrait of Stenner keeps getting redeveloped--to no avail as each new poster eventually receives darts from the rivals of both the singer and his ace shutterbug.

In a show loaded with in-jokes, Bob's unfriendly rivalry with Wally Seawell was explored in a handful of episodes sprinkled throughout the first four seasons. In real life, Seawell was the show's technical advisor: in reel life, he's played by Dan Tobin, returning to the role after Bob Enters a Photography Contest and Bob Sails for Hawaii. Collins definitely comes across as the least mature of the shutterbugs here, joining Chuck in throwing darts at his rival's work. Which is fine, 'cause its a lot funnier that way. No one wants to see our Playboy lose his youthful edge--something the ratings would prove in 1959 when Tammy Johnson arrived. The mustachioed Tobin took over the Seawell role in 1957 from John Hubbard (The Petticoat Derby).

The first of a two parter, Bob Digs Rock n' Roll gives seventeen year old Stanley Stenner a push towards rock n' roll stardom. Who's he, you ask? The son of Cummings' valet who was also a protege of Mary Martin after being cast as Curly in PETER PAN on Broadway at age 14. Stenner had a lot of star power behind him, and demonstrates a solid voice, but neither acting nor music worked out as a long term career for him. This one is an admirable effort to put Stenner over worthy of any wrestling jobber. To be fair he's a much better candidate for rock n' roll stardom than Hickman ever was, something Hickman would freely admit in FOREVER DOBIE.

Bob Digs Rock n' Roll is the last of seven episodes for unattainable Ingrid Goude, and Bob gets no further here than before. It's later than you think, Bob--that rock n' roll that you so casually dismiss appeals to the ladies in your desired age group! (Once Bob realizes this, he sort of lives up to the episode's title--once he thinks it'll help him score that is.)

But lest you think Bob is just too old for Ingrid, she is dancing with Ole to Stenner's strumming, and in real life Goude was finally landed by apparel mogul Jerome K. Ohrbach in 1962 (54 to her 25 at the time). So much for that coming youth revolution! Speaking of, that would be explored much more fully when the story continued the next week (sans Goude) in Colonel Goldbrick. Chuck's relationship woes continued into that installment as well.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Schultzy took these "honors" more often than anyone, so it isn't surprising that she does it again here by switching the medals. I'd still say Bob's chances were mighty slim even with the real one, though...

DID BOB SCORE?

No, but it's a noble stab at glory--secluded beach shoot, war hero story complete with artifact, and even his own attempt at rock n' roll. Too bad none of it worked in what would prove to be his final attempt with Miss Sweden.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Director Cummings worked his magic with countless inexperienced actors in his two and a half seasons at the helm while also maintaining top notch work from his pros. Bob Digs Rock n' Roll pokes fun at our hero’s age, but not as pointedly as the better half of this two parter, Colonel Goldbrick. Part one is still up to the overall high standard from the show's last great season. (*** out of four)

Don't want to take my word for it? Want to see Bob Digs Rock n' Roll for yourself? Here ya go:

F TROOP in the Nielsen Ratings Part Four - What REALLY Was, and Wasn't--and What Might Have Been

2024-03-18T14:17:00.000-07:00

And now the thrilling conclusion of the F TROOP in the Nielsen Ratings series. For you latecomers to the party, first, a chance to catch up:

F TROOP in the Nielsen Ratings PART ONE at this link

F TROOP in the Nielsen Ratings PART TWO at this link

F TROOP in the Nielsen Ratings PART THREE at this link

I'm providing more context to the findings on the 1966-67 television season (see Part Two above for more), the show's second and unfortunately last. We can dig into (and debunk) myths that had a half century to gain traction thanks to the newfound availability of Nielsen pocketbooks courtesy of Ratings Ryan. Long-held perception and ratings reality have been proven to be two very different things throughout this exercise. Thanks for checking out my ramblings over your morning coffee--I sincerely hope I've made it worth your while.

F TROOP improved ABC's fortunes in its time slot again in 1966-67.

After BATMAN and GIDGET replaced SHINDIG! and DONNA REED for the second half of 1965-66 to kick off ABC's Thursday lineup, GIDGET averaged a rating of 18.6 for 14 airings (260.2 total) and a 29.2 share following BATMAN from January 12 to April 14, 1966. Decent numbers on the surface, but losing over one-third of BATMAN's audience (27.0 rating/43 share). When F TROOP moved into the time slot that fall, it improved on both GIDGET numbers during the season's first half (18.8/30.7) despite a lead-in from a weaker BATMAN which fell to 19.3/33 during that September-December 1966 span (losing 28 percent of its rating and 23 percent of its share from its first season) and starting the season with one of the weakest lead-outs ever (more below).

GIDGET averaged 10.0 million households in the Spring of 1966, F TROOP bumped that up to 10.6 million households the following season. This despite BATMAN dipping from 14.5 million households to 10.7 million in front of it. F TROOP increased GIDGET's rating by 3 percent, share by 7 percent, and was seen in 6 percent more households.

F TROOP did lose some of the audience from its lead-in--temporarily:

Over the course of the entire season, F TROOP lost 156,000 households on average from BATMAN:

F TROOP 10.615 million HH 19.24

BATMAN 10.771 million HH 19.53

For the full season, BATMAN rated 19.5, F TROOP 19.2: losing 1.5 percent of BATMAN's rating. BATMAN had the higher rating of the two every week but two during the season's first half; the two shows tied once at 18.5 and F TROOP had a higher rating on 11/17/66. Over the entire period from September 1966 through the end of December, ABC went from losing 32 percent of BATMAN's audience to less than 3 percent at 8 P.M. with F TROOP taking over for GIDGET. Still, a loss is a loss.

Then, starting in January 1967, ABC gained households at 8 PM E.T.

In the second half of the season F TROOP was actually stronger than its lead-in. Beginning 1/5/67, F TROOP had a higher rating than BATMAN nine out of the 15 weeks, with the two shows tying once. BATMAN improved to 20.2 (302.8 over the 15 weeks) over the second half, F TROOP to 20.3 as noted in Part Two; if we remove reruns, F TROOP still holds a 7-5-1 edge in the 13 weeks in which both aired original episodes. For the season, BATMAN held a 18-10-2 edge against its lead-in, but this was due solely to the first half. During the season's second half, F TROOP (11.2 million households) actually averaged 60,000 more households than BATMAN (11.14 million). Both shows improved from the first half of 1966-67, but F TROOP improved more.

F TROOP's lead-outs might have had an affect on it at first.

Moving to a new night and time was what I previously cited as a reason for F TROOP's somewhat slow start in Season 2, but another factor might have been one of television's all-time greatest disasters: THE TAMMY GRIMES SHOW (gone by October!) at 8:30 P.M. With TAMMY GRIMES following it, F TROOP averaged 17.7 for the 3 weeks in September. This improved to a 18.8 once DATING GAME was installed for GRIMES. F TROOP surged to a 20.3 rating from January to April once BEWITCHED was moved up to 8:30 PM Eastern. So BEWITCHED was very good for F TROOP, as you'd expect. But the reverse is also true.

F TROOP and BEWITCHED were actually good for each other.

ABC made Thursday ladies' night beginning in 1967-68, moving Sally Field back to the 8 PM Thursday slot and adding Yvonne Craig to the cast of BATMAN as Batgirl. But teaming F TROOP and BEWITCHED meant that ABC's two highest rated sitcoms in the Nielsens for both 1965-66 and 1966-67 were airing back to back on Thursdays, and F TROOP's second half increase of 1.5 ratings points was certainly helped by this schedule change. Now, get a load of what having F TROOP as a lead-in did for BEWITCHED:

348.6 total in 16 weeks with TAMMY GRIMES/DATING GAME preceding it (21.8).

346.4 total in 14 weeks with F TROOP as a lead-in (24.7)

ABC gave an early green light to THE FLYING NUN for the Thursday 8 PM slot in the Winter of 1967, so F TROOP would have been moved to another night had it returned. Going by the ratings (not the only consideration for networks, obviously), that decision was debatable. THE FLYING NUN briefly improved on F TROOP's showing (see more on that below) but BEWITCHED dropped from a 24.7 rating over the second half of 1966-67 with F TROOP as a lead-in to a 23.5 rating with NUN preceding it in 1967-68.

THE FLYING NUN did--again, temporarily--improve upon F TROOP's showing on Thursdays.

THE FLYING NUN appeared to be a hit and an improvement, after taking over for F TROOP. The sneak preview on September 7 averaged a 23.0 rating, which was higher than all but two F TROOP episodes the prior season. In addition, NUN lasted three seasons after taking over at 8 P.M. Thursdays and finished 1967-68 in 34th place, up 5 spots from F TROOP while DANIEL BOONE slipped from 27th (remember, I came up with 20.5, not 20.8 for 1966-67) to 29th (20.0, though I came up with 19.8--a total of 514 in 26 airings). So on the surface this decision bore fruit, since BOONE fell 3 percent and NUN gained a little less than 2 percent on the full season F TROOP numbers during 1967-68 as a whole.

Sources elsewhere gave NUN a 19.5 rating, but I came up with 19.7 rounding up. THE FLYING NUN had a higher high share-wise during the first half, but after Christmas came a lower low than F TROOP had in either half of the previous season (30.7 and 31.8 respectively), finishing below a 30 share for the second half.

First, the season as a whole for each:

1966-67 F TROOP 19.24 rating/31.3 share (39th) 10.61 million HH

1967-68 FLYING NUN 19.66 rating/31.9 share (34th) 11.02 million HH

THE FLYING NUN also had the handicap of a weaker lead-in, as BATMAN utterly collapsed in front of it in 1967-68, totaling 246.1 for the season's first 16 weeks for a 15.4 average rating, losing nearly a quarter of its second half (20.2) audience from the previous season.

So why do I say the improvement was temporary? Because THE FLYING NUN was, like F TROOP a season earlier, a tale of two halves. Only this time, the inverse of F TROOP's showing:

First half of 1967-68: 303.9 rating in 15 shows (20.2) 504.9 total share (33.7).

Second half of 1967-68: 246.8 in 13 shows (19.0) 387.7 total share (29.8).

NUN did have 10 weekly wins over BOONE to F TROOP's 9, but only one of those wins for FLYING NUN came after Dec. 14th. By contrast, F TROOP won the entire 7:30-8:30 hour for the final month of the previous season.

Taking each entire season into account, THE FLYING NUN did slightly improve the ratings and cut into BOONE's audience--thanks to the first half. It is debatable whether ABC was well served in the long run by the switch. By the 1967-68 season's end, the number of households tuning into NUN (10.75 million) was 450,000 below F TROOP's second half average for 1966-67. BEWITCHED also performed better with F TROOP in front of it (24.7) than in either half of the following season (23.6 and 23.4 respectively) with NUN as a lead-in.

While F TROOP had a similar dip to NUN in the second half of its first season (20.9 to 19.9 opposite RED SKELTON) it reversed this in season two, regaining all of its 1965-66 audience by the Spring of 1967. In its second season, THE FLYING NUN continued declining, sliding to a 16.9 rating (456.9 in 27 shows, 9.8 million households) and well out of the top 50 (51st place KRAFT MUSIC HALL averaged a 18.0, that's as far as any ratings I could locate went) with 9.8 million households per week. Perception of THE FLYING NUN's success was shaped by its first three months on the air--the next two and a half seasons demonstrated a fall arguably faster and farther than BATMAN's. With the benefit of long-term hindsight it appears that THE FLYING NUN maintained positive momentum of the prior half-season from F TROOP (20.3 for the latter in early 1967 to 20.2 for the former in Fall 1967, not much difference) for only a few months and then the bloom fell off the rose.

F TROOP versus its peers--was it really that disappointing in 1966-67?

Peers being the 1965-66 sitcom class that returned for 1966-67.

F TROOP went from 36th (20.4) to 39th (19.2);

HOGAN'S HEROES went from 9th (24.9) to 17th (21.8);

GET SMART from 12th (24.5) to 22nd (21.0);

I DREAM OF JEANNIE from 27th (21.8) to 41st (19.0);

GREEN ACRES 11th (24.6) to 6th (24.6), the only one to move up in the rankings in Season 2, but the rating was identical to the year before.

GREEN ACRES as noted stayed the same, F TROOP's rating dropped 6 percent over the entire season (second half was less than 1 percent below its 1965-66 rating), HOGAN'S HEROES 11 percent, GET SMART 14 percent, JEANNIE 13 percent. In that context, F TROOP seems less disappointing in its second season than perceived, since all of its peers sans one fell further from season one to season two.

What might have been:

Since the 8 P.M. Thursday slot was promised to THE FLYING NUN long before schedules were announced, the most likely landing spot for F TROOP in Fall 1967 would have been in the 7:30 to 8:30 hour on Wednesdays, opposite LOST IN SPACE and THE VIRGINIAN. It's hard to see F TROOP failing to improve on CUSTER, which was off the air before January 1968 with an anemic 11.7 rating. As for the competition, well, F TROOP did post a higher rating than LOST IN SPACE in the first and second seasons for each:

1965-66: F TROOP 20.4, LOST IN SPACE 20.3

1966-67: F TROOP 19.2, LOST IN SPACE 18.8

Just sayin'.

With Ben Kalmenson holding the cards at Warner Brothers, and the Seven Arts sale announced in November 1966, it is likely that F TROOP was a goner no matter how high the ratings. For sure, though, ABC was too quick to deem it a disappointment in its new timeslot when THE FLYING NUN was promised the 8 P.M. Thursday slot for the following Fall by January. (Why, exactly, when even the "disappointing" Fall 1966 F TROOP numbers improved on those for Sally Field's GIDGET the season before? But I digress.)

F TROOP's second half performance helped give ABC ratings of 20.2, 20.3 and 24.7 for the 7:30 to 9 P.M. period on Thursdays over the season's second half, with all three shows benefitting. One would think this would have solved the "Thursday problem" from the Fall, right? We can only wonder what might have happened to it, and to BATMAN, if the fates would have allowed a return of all 3 that Fall unchanged. Television history is full of what-ifs, and F TROOP suffered from poorer timing that most successful series. We can all be thankful the fates allowed us the 65 episodes we have--imagine if the Seven Arts sale had gone through a year earlier. Miracles do happen--HONDO eventually got rediscovered with only 17 episodes--but without critical syndication exposure afforded it by that second season in color, we might still be waiting for F TROOP to get its due. There'd have been no five years on Nick at Nite, no three years on Me-TV, etc.

The closest comparison to F TROOP ratings-wise among its peers is I DREAM OF JEANNIE, which ranked 27th and 40th during the two seasons in which F TROOP ranked 36th and 39th. The two shows were two tenths of a percentage point apart at the end of 1966-67, but JEANNIE had support from NBC and Screen Gems, and three more seasons of life in it, returning to the top 30 in its fourth season.

How many more Emmy nominations would this man have received with two or three more seasons?

Hope you've enjoyed my ruminations on F TROOP and the Nielsens of the mid 1960s. Now, back to reviewing it and all the other shows you've been enjoying episode guides for here at The Section. I still reserve the right to return to the ratings in the future, so be warned!

F TROOP in the Nielsen Ratings PART THREE: Dispelling More Myths

2024-02-20T15:11:00.001-08:00

F TROOP in the Nielsen Ratings PART ONE at this link

F TROOP in the Nielsen Ratings PART TWO at this link

So to recap the first two parts of my analysis of the Nielsen Ratings for F TROOP, here's the overall findings for each season:

1965-66: 20.4 rating, 31.3 share, 36th out of 108 shows

1966-67: 19.2 rating, 31.3 share, 39th out of 113 shows

Each season had a higher ranking, rating and share than THAT GIRL ever achieved in five years on ABC (to name one example from the show's peers) so the perception that F TROOP was a lowly rated failure in its network run is dismissed! One myth of many I'll be poking holes in as I provide some missing context in parts three and four.

I know I'm taking a considerable amount of time with this. Hey, if Marc Cushman and Susan Osborn can take three of the six volumes of the THESE ARE THE VOYAGES book series to defend STAR TREK against decades of dissing its ratings, then surely I can take four blog posts (ok, make it five) to defend F TROOP against similar misconceptions.

The third post in this series will now take a closer look at the 1965-66 season, which as I mentioned in the previous posts, Ratings Ryan was kind enough to make available here.

Going into 1965-66, ABC had experienced five consecutive years of failure at 9 P.M. Eastern on Tuesday nights. Beginning with 1960-61, the network had tried westerns (STAGECOACH WEST), police drama (THE NEW BREED), Desilu Productions (THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH), sitcoms (THE TYCOON) and even relocated established hits (HAWAIIAN EYE) to no avail attempting to compete with CBS and NBC. CBS' RED SKELTON in particular--a Tuesday juggernaut throughout the 1960's with a "kill list" to rival BONANZA's on Sundays at 9. Even finding success a half-hour earlier at 8:30 Eastern with McHALE'S NAVY beginning in 1963 had not resulted in ABC continuing that success from a strong lead-in.

F TROOP changed ABC's fortunes for the better in the 9 P.M. timeslot on Tuesday nights in 1965-66, and provided the network with its only season of sustained success there between 1960 and the 1969-70 debut of THE ABC MOVIE OF THE WEEK. I'll just stick with the immediate "before and after" to illustrate:

1964-65 TYCOON 19.5 rating/28.2 share (49th)

1965-66 F TROOP 20.4 rating/31.3 share (36th)

1966-67 PRUITTS OF SOUTHHAMPTON 14.0 rating/24.1 share (77th - first half) THE INVADERS 19.1 rating/28.6 share - 2nd half, 40th season) COMBINED 16.6 rating/26.4 share.

TYCOON starred Walter Brennan, fresh off a six-year run in THE REAL McCOYS, and enjoyed a 22.3 lead-in from McHALE'S NAVY (29th in 1964-65). TYCOON nonetheless became ABC's fifth 8 PM failure in a row on Tuesdays, losing 13 percent of McHALE'S audience. The next season, F TROOP was given a weaker NAVY (19.8/30.1 share, 44th place) preceding it, and not only improved on its well established lead-in but also outrated another long-running favorite that immediately followed:

8:30 P.M. McHALE'S NAVY 19.8/30.1 (44th) 10.67M households

9 PM F TROOP 20.4/31.3 (36th) 11.0M households

9:30 PM PEYTON PLACE (II) 19.5/31.1 (46th) 10.5M households

It would appear that F TROOP was actually getting quite a few viewers to switch channels; to further bolster this appearance, SKELTON's season average is shown as 27.6, but its rating during the second half hour at 9-9:30 P.M. for the 27 weeks it went head to head with the TROOP was nearly a point below its overall rating--26.7. When McHALE'S NAVY and F TROOP were preempted for the only time on February 1st, SKELTON soared to a season high 33.3 rating.

F TROOP shoring up the longstanding weak link in the middle of the Tuesday lineup helped ABC to its only night of victory during 1965-66 despite ratings dropoffs from all of the otherwise intact 1964-65 schedule the rest of the night--COMBAT (10th to 35th), McHALE'S NAVY (29th to 44th), PEYTON (20th to 46th) and FUGITIVE (5th to 34th)! Before BATMAN came along in January, F TROOP was ABC's highest rated new show. It still ended the season 7th out of the 39 offerings from the Alphabet network (see part one for more on how even F TROOP's ranking has been misrepresented in the decades since). Still, you'll rarely hear historians mention that--only that the show never made the top 25 and lasted only two seasons.

One of the more recent chroniclers to cover the era is Thom Shubilla, author of Primetime 1966-67: The Full Spectrum of Television's First All-Color Season. Not to disparage; I'm glad his book exists despite a number of inaccuracies (i.e. JULIA did not replace OCCASIONAL WIFE, THE JERRY LEWIS SHOW did). I can tell, though, that he's no fan of F TROOP. Shubilla cites the show as "waning" and a supposed non-factor in the demise of competition JERICHO during the season he writes about (more on that next post). The author also has a number of head-scratching claims about the 1965-66 season. Shubilla's assertion (page 206) that "F TROOP lost out in the ratings to both RED SKELTON and NBC TUESDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES during 1965-66 (page 206)" is provably false no matter how you examine the numbers.

No one is disputing the first contention, since SKELTON was the # 4 show on all of television during 1965-66. The statement that NBC's Tuesday movie defeated F TROOP is really dubious since the August 1967 TELEVISION (a source Shubilla cites elsewhere in his book) had NBC TUESDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES at 60th place at season's end (it was 57th at midseason to F TROOP's 27th per the March 1966 issue).

During the 9 PM - 9:30 PM half hour, NBC's movie averaged 16.2 on the 29 Tuesdays in which it competed with F TROOP. This was below its average overall rating of 18.1 from 9-11 P.M. E.T. for thirty movies, as NBC gained viewers in later hours (competing with the extremely low rated CBS REPORTS from 10-11 E.T. helped there). NBC TUESDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES was bested by F TROOP by an average of 4.2 ratings points in the head to head half hour of 9-9:30 P.M., then gained an average of 1.9 the rest of the night against other shows. F TROOP averaged 11 million households from 9 to 9:30 to the NBC MOVIE's 8.73 million over the season's 30 weeks.

F TROOP's only losses to the NBC movie were to Home From the Hill on 3/1/66 and to G.I. Blues on both 11/9/65 and 4/12/66. It appears that Shubilla confused the 1965-66 listing in TELEVISION with the 1966-67 listing, which had the NBC Tuesday Movie in 35th place that season. But it wasn't opposite F TROOP that year--it was opposite the bomb PRUITTS OF SOUTHAMPTON, and the lack of effective opposition from ABC at 9 P.M. was a contributing factor to NBC's rise of 25 spots in the ratings. SKELTON also benefitted from F TROOP's second season move, rising from a 27.6 rating to a 28.2 and from 4th place to 2nd behind BONANZA in 1966-67.

Shubilla further cites F TROOP as the season's 40th most watched show "though the ratings started out high". I can't blame him for missing that one, as it took some real digging and calculating for me to determine that 36th place was the correct ranking, but even the show's second half rating and share outpointed every other ABC show that was put up against SKELTON during the Sixties. Including THE INVADERS, a second season entry that followed the Diller debacle in 1967 but managed a renewal despite a 28 share (it was subsequently canceled halfway through 1967-68).

F TROOP sustained those "early high ratings" better than most despite having an immovable object in front of it during its freshman season. While there were quite a few 1965 premieres ahead of F TROOP, here's some of the new programs ranked behind it: LOST IN SPACE, THE BIG VALLEY, I SPY, THE DEAN MARTIN SHOW and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. BIG VALLEY (53rd midseason, 57th on the year end list) had to compete with GREEN ACRES (11th) and DICK VAN DYKE (16th) on CBS, but none of the others were facing unwinnable battles. And BIG VALLEY at least got to air in color against ACRES (VAN DYKE remained in black and white) whereas F TROOP aired in black and white versus color competition from the other two networks--SKELTON was always in color and most of NBC's movies were as well.

Speaking of the color/black and white disparity which was in its final season during F TROOP's first: two shows that F TROOP gets compared to concluded their runs during 1965-66 under the same circumstances: CBS' THE MUNSTERS and ABC's THE ADDAMS FAMILY. Both get more respect than the TROOP in general because both made the top 25 during 1964-65 while F TROOP never did. All three managed only two seasons on the network (ended up between 64 and 70 total episodes) but enjoyed lasting success in syndication despite the relatively low number of segments available.

During 1965-66, though, all three sitcoms faced the same situation: airing in black and white against dynamic, Nielsen top-10 competition in color.

I stress that the following is not a diss of either MUNSTERS or ADDAMS FAMILY (I like both), but rather just to bolster two points I've consistently made in this series:

1) F TROOP performed better than other shows facing similar obstacles, and

2) Second half performance was consistently a key factor in whether a show was renewed or not--second half surges typically brought you back, second half swoons usually got you a pink slip.

After ranking as ABC's seventh highest rated show in 1964-65, winning its time slot at 8:30 P.M. on Friday and finishing that season in 23rd place overall (23.9 rating), THE ADDAMS FAMILY remained in black and white for season two but faced new color competition from CBS' HOGAN'S HEROES (24.9 rating, 9th for the season) in 1965-66. While it took a hit, it still looked like a decent bet for renewal at mid-season: 267.1 rating in 15 airings (17.8 average) and 479.6 share (32.0 average). A strong enough second place despite a drop to 49th, especially the share, to look like a renewal for the third place network. But the second half demonstrated further decline, totaling a rating of 256.3 in 15 shows (17.1) and 422.3 share (28.0 average). It came out to a 17.4 rating, 30.0 total share for the full season. Despite the respectable overall share, the steady decline throughout the season and eventual fall to (reportedly) 62nd place from 23rd resulted in a cancellation.

THE MUNSTERS suffered a change of fortune that was one of the decade's most abrupt. 13th place in 1964-65 (24.7 rating), and while it dropped into 31st place during the first half, 15 airings through 1/6/66 totaled 320 in ratings (21.3) and 566.6 in share (37.8). A solid hit still, easily cruising towards renewal. Then, beginning on 1/13/66, SHINDIG! was out and new color sensation BATMAN (27.0, 5th for the season) was in on ABC. THE MUNSTERS' final 14 airings totaled 211 in ratings (15.1) and 338.5 in share (24.2). By the final two week Nielsen report those numbers were down to a 12.1 rating/21.2 share. While the full season totals were 18.3/31.2 (not 30.7 as I've seen elsewhere, just a number of errors I've found when running these numbers myself) which might result in renewal in a vacuum, the poor third to BATMAN and DANIEL BOONE over the second half sent the MUNSTERS packing just three short months after a third season looked like a lead pipe cinch. Darn, darn, darn, darn!

In contrast, F TROOP maintained a rating over 20 all season long despite facing the highest ranked and long-established competition, and ratings fell 6.2 points in the time slot in Fall 1966 after F TROOP was moved. THE ADDAMS FAMILY and THE MUNSTERS are perceived as hits due to high first season rankings and ratings which fell off sharply within a year, while F TROOP gets penalized for its consistency and perceived as a failure for never finishing in the top 25. Just saying.

One other comment: TELEVISION had MUNSTERS ending the season in 61st, ADDAMS in 62nd, but again I can't help but notice the likelihood of really lazy tabulation at the time yet again. I find it hard to believe that not one show finished with an overall rating between 18.3 (MUNSTERS) and 17.4 (ADDAMS)--mainly because I found one above without even trying to! The aforementioned NBC TUESDAY MOVIE (allegedly in 60th place, remember) averaged a 18.1 rating in 1965-66, so THE MUNSTERS should at least be in 60th instead of 61st. The MUNSTERS share was wrong for the full season, off a full half point (F TROOP's as you'll recall was reported as 3/10ths of a point lower than actual as well). I wish I had the time to run ALL the numbers for the season and see what I come up with, given all the errors I am finding in the so-called official Nielsen list. Maybe another time.

For now, though, I'll be moving back to 1966-67 in the conclusion of this quadrilogy (tetralogy? quartet?). Stay tuned!

F TROOP in the Nielsen Ratings - PART TWO - 1966-67 SEASON

2024-01-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know, I promised further exploration of the 1965-66 numbers. Trust me, that's coming--but I pushed it back a post because the full 1966-67 ratings are now available courtesy of Ratings Ryan! For more on Ratings Ryan's site, check here, and if you'd like to subscribe and support his research, here's the link to do so.

Okay, end of commercial. My thoughts back in 2013 were formed with a handful of ratings obtained from newspapers and limited data (i.e. share only post-season) from TELEVISION magazine. The opportunity to finally peruse the weekly ratings confirmed my suspicion that this was a tale of two halves when going week by week. Let's dig in to the Nielsen Ratings for the second and final season for F TROOP:

Moved to 8 P.M. Eastern Time on Thursday night for year two, F TROOP replaced GIDGET one season before Sally Field would reclaim the time slot on ABC in 1967-68 with THE FLYING NUN. That series had already been earmarked for Thursdays at 8 the following Fall by February 1967 (reports indicated F TROOP would likely be moved to Wednesdays). I'll have more to say about that (debatable) decision when we get to Part 3 of this series, possibly part 4 if I get long-winded (you longtime readers are expecting that, I'd wager).

F TROOP's first color episode and 35th overall, The Singing Mountie aired on 9/8/66 before the official start of Nielsen's 1966-67 period (September 12, 1966 - April 16. 1967) with a 13.9 rating and 25.3 share. An inauspicious start in the new time period which came in third (NBC's TARZAN preview won the time period), something that would not happen to F TROOP in any ratings period in-season. That slow start continued until October, when F TROOP began to build its audience on Thursdays.

The week by week in-season results, with the five highest rated episodes of the season noted):

How to be F Troop Without Really Trying 9/15/66 17.7 rating/30.2 share

Bye, Bye, Balloon 9/22/66 17.9 rating/31.9 share

Reach for the Sky, Pardner 9/29/66 17.3 rating/29.3 share

The Great Troop Robbery 10/6/66 18.8 rating/33.2 share

The West Goes Ghost 10/13/66 18.6 rating/32.0 share

Yellow Bird 10/20/66 18.6 rating/32.0 share

The Ballot of Corporal Agarn 10/27/66 18.5 rating/30.5 share

Did Your Father Come From Ireland? 11/3/66 20.3 rating/32.0 share

For Whom the Bugle Tolls 11/10/66 19.2 rating/31.4 share

Miss Parmenter 11/17/66 18.2 rating/30.1 share

La Dolce Courage 11/24/66 12.5 rating/22.9 share

Wilton the Kid 12/1/66 19.6 rating/31.8 share

The Return of Wrongo Starr 12/8/66 17.5 rating/29.9 share

Survival of the Fittest 12/15/66 19.6 rating/32.8 share

Bring on the Dancing Girls 12/22/66 (No rating - Nielsen Black Week)

The Loco Brothers 12/29/66 19.0 rating/30.7 share

From Karate With Love 1/5/67 24.1 rating/38.5 share (1st)

The Sergeant and The Kid 1/12/67 20.8 rating/32.7 share (3rd-tie)

What Are You Doing After the Massacre? 1/19/67 20.5 rating/31.8 share

Horse of Another Color 1/26.67 19.4 rating/29.3 share

V is For Vampire 2/2/67 19.3 rating/28.8 share

That's Show Biz 2/9/67 20.0 rating/29.0 share

The Day They Shot Agarn 2/16/67 19.9 rating/29.4 share

Only One Russian is Coming! Only One Russian is Coming! 2/23/67 23.4 rating/35.7 share (2nd)

Guns, Guns, Who's Got the Guns? 3/2/67 19.4 rating/30.7 share

Marriage, Fort Courage Style 3/9/67 18.5 rating/29.9 share

Carpetbagging, Anyone? 3/16/67 20.8 rating/33.2 share (3rd-tie)

The Majority of Wilton 3/23/67 18.8 rating/31.9 share

Our Brave in F Troop 3/30/67 19.3 rating/32.0 share

Is This Fort Really Necessary? 4/6/67 20.7 rating/34.2 share (5th)

The Singing Mountie (rerun) 4/13/67 19.2 rating/30.1 share

The total for 30 rated weeks during 1966-67 is 577.4, coming to a 19.2 rating for the full season (splitting hairs, but it is 19.246, almost a 19.3). The share total: 937.9 so the 31.3 share reported by TELEVISION is correct. F TROOP scored the same 31.3 share in both of its seasons.

(underrated guest star above: Patrice Wymore appeared once in each season, and both episodes were in the season's 5 highest rated)

As you'll recall my original thought was that F TROOP took an initial hit after the change of night and time, then steadily improved as the season wore on. The first 15 airings totaled 273.3 (Sept-Dec 1966) for an 18.2 average (TELEVISION's March 1967 listing excluded the September episodes, covering October to December only, thus the 18.8 there) so in the second half of the season, F TROOP totaled 304.1 or a 20.3 rating in the season's final 15 weeks. Share totals? 460.7 first half (30.7 share) and 477.2 second half (31.8 share). Second half surge confirmed. And since strong finishes were cited as the reasoning behind the renewals of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE and THE MONKEES among others---anyone think that third-place ABC might have wanted a show back with a 20.3 rating/31.8 share over the second half? F TROOP improved its first half rating by 11 percent and its first half share by 4 percent.

Now, about that ranking, as shown in the screenshot above from the August 1967 edition of TELEVISION: THE INVADERS is listed 39th, but the second season entry aired 14 times after its 1/10/67 debut and totaled a 267.8 for those airings, or 19.13. Yup, behind F TROOP's 19.24. The Monday PEYTON PLACE averaged 19.7, TUESDAY MOVIE 19.75 in 29 airings, MR. TERRIFIC 19.8 in 13 airings (the highest rated cancellation), and F TROOP's lead-in, the Thursday BATMAN was at 19.5 (585.9 in 30 shows). So those three are correctly ahead of F TROOP, but THE INVADERS is not, and moving up that one spot puts F TROOP in 39th place for the season out of 113 shows. BATMAN should actually be 38th, with PEYTON PLACE 37th and MR. TERRIFIC in 35th. Despite these discrepancies, the TELEVISION article is more accurate in this limited sample for 1966-67 than I found it to be the previous season. Here's what I came up with:

35. MR. TERRIFIC 19.8

35. NBC TUESDAY MOVIE 19.8 (rounding up)

37. MONDAY PEYTON PLACE 19.7

38. THURSDAY BATMAN 19.5

39. F TROOP 19.2

40. THE INVADERS 19.1

41. I DREAM OF JEANNIE 19.0

42. THE MONKEES 18.8

42. LOST IN SPACE 18.8

42. HOLLYWOOD PALACE 18.8

As you'll note, I did double check again by running the shows listed immediately below F TROOP in the rankings also. THE MONKEES ended up at # 42. Total rating of 546 for 29 airings, or 18.8 to go with the 31.2 share. LOST IN SPACE had 507 for 27. HOLLYWOOD PALACE at # 41 also averaged 18.8, though listed # 43 I DREAM OF JEANNIE totaled 532.5 for 28 airings, good for a 19.0 which would put it 41st, with MONKEES, SPACE and PALACE in a tie for 42nd. Regardless, all remain below F TROOP so I feel confident that 39th place is correct. This makes F TROOP ABC's eighth highest rated show (behind BEWITCHED, LAWRENCE WELK, RAT PATROL, THURSDAY MOVIE, THE F.B.I., Thursday BATMAN and Monday PEYTON PLACE) after being the network's seventh highest in 1965-66.

Points of comparison: CBS's 7th and 8th highest rated shows in those seasons: GREEN ACRES and GOMER PYLE. NBC's 7th and 8th in the same: I DREAM OF JEANNIE and DANIEL BOONE. Each one of those shows ended up running at least five seasons.

Looking at the shows F TROOP outranked in 1966-67, it's a pretty impressive list of 1967-68 renewals: WILD WILD WEST, LOST IN SPACE, THE BIG VALLEY, STAR TREK, I DREAM OF JEANNIE, THE MONKEES and MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE are just a few of the notables shown above. THAT GIRL, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE and VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA are further down after the top 55. The oft-maligned GILLIGAN'S ISLAND (shown 49th above) has been frequently cited as an unjust cancellation in 1967--it too was bested by F TROOP. For the curious, GILLIGAN totaled 525.3 for 29 segments, 18.1 rating; share was 870.3 total, averaging out to the same 30.0 shown above.

Correcting the standings means that ABC renewed a whopping 11 shows for 1967-68 with lower ratings than F TROOP's. I can't help but wonder why F TROOP was ranked behind shows that had a lower rating on TELEVISION's list in both 1965-66 and 1966-67. Four of the five shows (combined) that were erroneously shown to be ahead of F TROOP in the two seasons were strangely ABC shows--there's a significant difference between being the 10th rated show on the network and the 7th. I doubt if there was an agenda to downplay one show's performance--lazy calculation once past the top 30 seems more likely--but the numbers don't lie: F TROOP performed better than about two-thirds of its peers in each season it was on.

From Karate With Love posted F TROOP's highest share ever with a 38.5 on 1/5/67. It was not only the entire night's highest rated program (yes, beating 22.9 for BEWITCHED) but was ABC's highest rated program of the entire week ending 1/8/67. The 24.1 rating was the show's second highest ever behind Don't Look Now, One of Our Cannon Is Missing. Only One Russian Is Coming! Only One Russian is Coming posted F TROOP's third highest rating ever on 2/23/67. So two of the show's three highest Nielsen numbers ever and all of the second season's five highest came in 1967 when the show was supposedly fading. Pre-emptions on CBS no doubt helped these top two episodes, but that could be a double edged sword. For example:

La Dolce Courage was the lowest rated F TROOP episode ever by a wide margin on 11/24/66, Thanksgiving Day. The entire ABC lineup was hurt that night, likely by CBS' NFL game between the Dallas Cowboys (the first such game in what is now a 57 year tradition) and the Cleveland Browns (no rating shown, but certain to be stronger than cancelled JERICHO in light of ABC's weakness that night and the SMOKEY THE BEAR special on NBC posting similar numbers to DANIEL BOONE).

For tbe second consecutive season, F TROOP got the silver medal in its time slot as DANIEL BOONE's 20.5 average rating won the time period (although I've seen 20.8 listed as the season average, I came up with 552.8 in 27 showings or 20.47--rounded up to 20.5, which would be 27th instead of 25th in the rankings). However, the contest was more competitive than you've been led to believe over the years. F TROOP scored 11 weekly wins on the season, with a higher rating than BOONE nine times and also winning the time period two of the three times DANIEL was pre-empted. F TROOP finished ahead of its BATMAN lead-in each of the final five weeks of the season and also bested BOONE in all but one of those weeks--the only loss coming on 4/13/67 with a rerun of The Singing Mountie (19.2) beaten by an original BOONE episode (21.0). The final three times DANIEL BOONE and F TROOP both aired a new episode, F TROOP won. Finally, putting it all together, each of F TROOP's last four new episodes posted the highest rating for the entire 7:30-8:30 P.M. hour on Thursdays (3/16 - 4/6/67).

Sure doesn't fit the narrative that F TROOP was cancelled in season two after failing to hold the BATMAN lead-in and performing poorly against DANIEL BOONE. On the contrary, you could make a case that F TROOP was beginning to take over its time slot by season's end. If ABC didn't want that back, they deserved the decade-long ass kicking they got from CBS and NBC in the Sixties. No, Ben Kalmenson had it in for the Troop (and for WB involvement in television period) and had production stopped. If the show had been in the top 10 Kalmenson would have still wanted it gone--ratings didn't matter.

So to recap the first two parts of my analysis of the Nielsen Ratings for F TROOP, here's the overall findings:

1965-66: 20.4 rating, 31.3 share, 36th out of 108 shows

1966-67: 19.2 rating, 31.3 share, 39th out of 113 shows

So much for that supposed Sophomore slump. With numbers comes clarity, and I'll save the rest for PART 3, when I plan to debunk some long-held misconceptions about F TROOP's performance in context and in comparison to its peers. Stay tuned!

F TROOP in the Nielsen Ratings: PART ONE - 1965-66 SEASON

2023-12-27T19:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the ever resourceful Ratings Ryan I now have access to the weekly Nielsen ratings from 1965-66 TV Season. The weekly pocketbooks, all 111 pages of them, can be accessed at this link.

Incidentally, more about Ratings Ryan here. We should all be grateful for his work, I know I am. And I think we should all support him too--please see more on how to at that link, and join me in supporting his efforts if you can.

For my prior observations on F TROOP's performance in the Nielsens, please check out this post from ten years ago. With more time comes more information, so away we go:

Now I have access to the full season. Ho ho ho! You can tell that I am going to get multiple posts out of this new bag of goodies, so let's just call this part one and get on with it. My initial findings are enough for me to dispute the 40th place ranking F TROOP has been assigned for the season on other online sources.

The Thursday PEYTON PLACE (II) is listed in 38th place for 1965-66 in this TELEVISION MAGAZINE listing from August 1967 with a 33.4 share. However, running the numbers for all 29 airings of each show (each preempted once) I came up with a 20.44 average rating for F TROOP and 20.23 for the Thursday PEYTON.

The Monday PEYTON (III) on this year end list comes in at 39th, but remember, at the start of the 1965-66 season this installment aired on Fridays until changing places with FARMER'S DAUGHTER in November. PEYTON 3 was at 17.5 as of January 2nd per TELEVISION (March 1966 issue) but totaled 174.1 in nine Monday showings for a 19.4 for that night. The Friday airings for the first seven weeks of the season were apparently the only ones considered for that midseason ranking. Might be splitting hairs, but if it isn't considered the same show, then why isn't there a PEYTON IV on that list for the Monday only showings, especially since they numbered more than the Friday premieres by midseason?

Why this is important: the season ending numbers taking Mondays only into account gives 21 airings on that day, 429.9 total rating for an average rating of 20.47. This would put it marginally ahead of F TROOP's 20.44 but remember, those Friday airings are supposed to be included for this program since it technically is the same PEYTON, listed above as having been moved at mid-season. Those 7 Fridays totaled 120.8 so PEYTON III totaled 550.7 for 28 showings for the entire season or a rating of 19.7. Incidentally, that 120.8 calculates to a rounded up 17.3, not 17.5. And including all 15 rated Monday/Friday episodes as of January 2 gives a total of 274.9 even for a midseason 18.3 for PIII. Eight Mondays at mid-season totaled 19.3--nice second half on that night.

PEYTON PLACE had a second half surge on all three nights and did yeoman's work for third place ABC with competitive showings on three different nights. Great job, but that doesn't change numbers that show for the entire season, F TROOP outrated PEYTONs I (19.5) II (20.2) and III (19.7) with its 20.4. That is, if the Friday/Monday showings are combined as one as they should be. Since there isn't a PEYTON IV on either list, pretty clear that both are considered one and the same.

I also calculated the Tuesday only PEYTONs just to be sure on that, since some confusion might have been created due to the Friday/Monday switch 7 weeks in. I came up with 278.8 for 15 Tuesday showings as of Dec. 28th so the 19.1 in TELEVISION seems off; I had 18.6. By season's end, Tuesday's only, it was 584.1 in 30 airings (no pre-emptions for PEYTON on Tuesday) for a 19.5. I think it is possible there was some midseason and postseason confusion created by the show's move. As noted above PEYTON III is shown at 17.5 on the mid-season list, so it appears that the Friday showings only are listed (and calculated wrong to boot).

Did PEYTON III become PEYTON I accidentally with the switch? Since the Tuesday midseason numbers also appear off, that's possible. TELEVISION also has Thursday and Monday PEYTONs as "moved in season", but that's not true, the Thursday edition aired on that day exclusively all 29 weeks. PEYTON I (Tuesday) comes to 19.5, which fits with the August 1967 ranking of 46th. PEYTON II (Thursday) comes to 20.2, which likely is 39th but isn't ahead of F TROOP. 19.7 would be the actual rating for III (Friday/Monday) so perhaps that August 1967 TELEVISION ranking of PIII is missing the Friday showings. But...they still count!

Anyway, leapfrogging these two PEYTONs brings our boys to 38th place. Listed at 37th place at season's end was SHENANDOAH, at 20.3 at midseason (36th), with 14 airings totaling 285.1 (I've never seen it, but comment on its ratings more below). SHENANDOAH's second half total was 264.7 in 13 shows, meaning that despite powerful competition (see more below) it was competing well with a 20.36 rating.

However....SHENANDOAH is also behind F TROOP for the season's ratings after running the full year's numbers--20.44 to 20.36. We do get a tie with rounding, but unless I am missing something, this puts the TROOP in 37th place at worst now. Looking further ahead, FUGITIVE (34th) totaled 561.8 for 27 shows, or 20.8, and COMBAT (listed 36th) ended the season with a 20.6 average in my calculations. BUT...LOST IN SPACE, shown in 35th place above, totaled a 547.0 rating in 27 airings..which comes out to a 20.3! That changes things up further. My findings, assuming that I don't track down other discrepancies later:

34. THE FUGITIVE 20.8

35. COMBAT 20.6

36. F TROOP 20.44 (20.4)

37. SHENANDOAH 20.36 (20.4)

38. LOST IN SPACE 20.3

39. PEYTON PLACE II 20.2

40. CANDID CAMERA 20.0

Without running more numbers for now, it appears that F TROOP actually finished the 1965-66 season in 36th place, NOT 40th as has been reported elsewhere. It also appears to be ABC's 7th highest rated show of the season, behind the two BATMANs, BEWITCHED, LAWRENCE WELK, FUGITIVE and COMBAT. I, for one, will be adjusting my prior posts on the topic accordingly.

F TROOP had a 21.1 rating per TELEVISION March 1966 through 12/19/65; my 20.9 figure includes the final 12/28/65 December episode and splits the Nielsen year into two 15-week halves. Nevertheless with a 20.9/32.9 share at mid-season there was a slight second half dip. For the full season I came up with a 31.3 share instead of the 31.0 indicated by TELEVISION (908.5 total for 29 airings). The January-April airings averaged a 19.9 rating/29.7 share. The show was pre-empted once by a Sammy Davis Jr. special on 2/1/66 which rated 10 percent below the F TROOP second half average with a 17.9.

Breaking it down, from episode 1 to episode 30 (4 more remained after April 12, the last airing of the 30 week season which ran from September 13, 1965 to April 17, 1966 with one "black week"). The 5 highest rated F TROOP episodes of the first season are noted (1 to 5):

Scourge of the West 9/14/65 22.0 rating/35.2 share (5-tie)

Don't Look Now, One of Our Cannon Is Missing 9/21/65 24.5 rating/37.6 share (1)

The Phantom Major 9/28/65 21.5 rating/33.6 share

Corporal Agarn's Farewell to the Troops 10/5/65 20.1 rating/32.6 share

The Return of Bald Eagle 10/12/65 22.5 rating/35.2 share (3)

Dirge for the Scourge 10/19/65 21.5 rating/32.7 share

The Girl From Philadelphia 10/26/65 20.5 rating/32.1 share

Old Ironpants 11/2/65 23.0 rating/36.2 share (2)

Me Heap Big Injun 11/9/65 15.6 rating/27.1 share

She's Just a Build in a Girdled Cage 11/16/65 22.4 rating/34.4 share (4)

A Gift From the Chief 11/23/65 19.7 rating/31.0 share

Honest Injun 11/30/65 20.6 rating/31.5 share

O'Rourke vs. O'Reilly 12/7/65 21.1 rating/32.3 share

The 86 Proof Spring 12/14/65 20.6 rating/32.6 share

Here Comes the Tribe 12/21/65 (Nielsen "black week" no rating)

Iron Horse Go Home 12/28/65 18.5 rating/29.3 share

Our Hero, What's His Name? 1/4/66 20.0 rating/30.1 share

Wrongo Starr and the Lady in Black 1/11/66 20.7 rating/29.8 share

El Diablo 1/18/66 22.0 rating/34.1 share (5-tie)

Go For Broke 1/25/66 20.3 rating/30.9 share

The New I.G. 2/8/66 18.4 rating/27.3 share

Spy, Counterspy, Counter Counterspy 2/15/66 20.7 rating/ 30.1 share

The Courtship of Wrangler Jane 2/22/66 20.5 rating/30.0 share

Play, Gypsy, Play 3/1/66 18.7 rating/26.6 share

Reunion for O'Rourke 3/8/66 21.4 rating/31.6 share

Captain Parmenter, One Man Army 3/15/66 19.6 rating/29.1 share

Don't Ever Speak to Me Again 3/22/66 18.5 rating/27.5 share

Too Many Cooks Spoil the Troop 3/29/66 19.8 rating/28.5 share

Indian Fever 4/5/66 20.3 rating/31.7 share

Johnny Eagle Eye 4/12/66 18.0 rating/27.8 share

Some notes:

Both Me Heap Big Injun and Johnny Eagle Eye had to square off with Elvis Presley, as G.I. BLUES was the NBC Tuesday Night Movie 11/9/65 and was popular enough that night to repeat 5 months later. It posted a 21.3 when rerun (19.2 in the half hour against F TROOP) which was even higher than its 20.4 overall on 11/9/65.

I'll go into more detail about the NBC Tuesday Movies vs. F TROOP in a later post, but Fort Courage prevailed in 26 out of 29 contests versus the movies during 1965-66. Play, Gypsy, Play sustained the other loss on 3/1/66 (to HOME FROM THE HILL, which started an hour earlier than usual at 8 PM ET). Me Heap Big Injun was F TROOP's only rating below 18 all season; yeah, the Corporal was no match for The King that night.

The New I.G. might have been hurt a little by the pre-emption the previous week with that 18.4, second lowest rated show up to that point (too bad, it's hilarious).

As you might expect, F TROOP's only victory against RED SKELTON was on 9/21/65, when Don't Look Now, One of Our Cannon Is Missing outpointed the CBS star 24.5 to 23.0.

The total 20.4 rating, 31.3 share I came up for the full season is higher than what has been reported elsewhere for both, as is the 36th place ranking. The total number of shows rated in 1965-66 was 109 (it was 99 at mid-season; ten mid-season replacements) but it appears that F TROOP had higher ratings than every cancelled show during its freshman season except 32nd place BRANDED (which lost a ton of viewers between DISNEY and top-rated BONANZA on Sundays). It was ahead of at least 17 renewals that I can find for that season and at least 16 renewals the following year--but more on that in future posts of course.

Looking at SHENANDOAH for a second: I can't understand why it wasn't renewed. ANDY GRIFFITH and ANDY WILLIAMS arguably provided even stiffer competition than F TROOP faced. Still, Robert Horton's series still managed a 20.4 rating (rounding up) and 37th place, gaining on its JESSE JAMES lead-in, finishing the season without a second half dropoff (exactly 20.36 rating in both halves of the season!) and improving a bit on 1964-65's NO TIME FOR SERGEANTS (40th that year and the highest rated cancellation). Might deserve its own post sometime.

And as you might have guessed by the 34th to 40th listing above, I checked accuracy on the spots listed directly below F TROOP by TELEVISION. Listed # 41 was CANDID CAMERA, Allen Funt's classic that aired all 30 Sundays totaling ratings of 599.4. Which comes out to a weekly average of 19.98 (20.0 rounded up) for the season. So this puts it below one PEYTON PLACE shown above but ahead of the Friday/Monday airing--if we include the first seven Fridays. I'm inclined to believe PEYTON III was listed several spots higher than it should have been. CAMERA would be below SHENANDOAH as well but this should have it in 40th place, not 41st. And therefore it took a 20.0 just to make the top 40 in 1966! I did not find any show listed below 41st with a rating of 20; TO TELL THE TRUTH averaged 19.4 in 29 airings, McHALE'S NAVY 19.8 in 29 (so my guess is that it should be a spot or two higher).

In Part Two I plan to take a deeper dive into the 1965-66 numbers for F TROOP and its competition, as well as the time slot it will inherit in 1966-67. Stay tuned!

F TROOP Fridays: "Go For Broke" (1966)

2023-09-29T15:30:00.075-07:00

F TROOP Fridays: Number 38

F TROOP: "Go For Broke" (1966 ABC-TV/Warner Brothers) Season One, Episode 20; Original Air Date January 25, 1966. Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank de Kova as Chief Wild Eagle, James Hampton as Private Dobbs, Bob Steele as Private Duffy, Joe Brooks as Private Vanderbilt, Ivan Bell as Private Dudleson. Guest stars: Del Moore as Dapper Dan Fulbright and George Gobel as Henry Terkel. Written by Howard Merrill and Stan Dreben. Directed by Seymour Robbie.

The Inspector General is on his way to Fort Courage yet again, this time to check on F Troop's pension fund of $2,000. Too bad that Dapper Dan has beaten him to town, getting into a poker game with Sgt. O'Rourke in which our crafty Sarge has lost the $2,000---and then some.

Scrambling to find a replacement stake to fortify O'Rourke's short stack, Agarn finds little help from the troop, Wild Eagle, or Jane. The Corporal also sees little immediate assistance from Jane's visiting cousin Henry, who has a knack for invention. Until Henry also shows a knack for counting cards, something that would balance the books once it is discovered that the Dapper One is cheating with the help of an accomplice. But how to get the mild mannered innovator into the game and our hapless Sarge out of it?

"Play slowly. That way you won't lose so fast!"

Since F TROOP is THE PHIL SILVERS SHOW's spiritual brethren and shared its locations with MAVERICK, it is somewhat surprising that Go For Broke was the show's only real foray onto the poker table. But it's easy to see why: he might be more successful in the business world, but O'Rourke is definitely no Bilko at cards. So-called "easy mark" Dapper Dan could re-name the business Fulbright Enterprises before the end of Act One!

Yes, we do learn in the second half that O'Rourke is being cheated (and even the great Bilko displayed this same blind spot in his pilot, The New Recruits), but it still diminishes his character somewhat. The sharp operator of other installments should have had a inkling of the situation long before losing over $2,000 AND his beloved saloon. He's also being cheated inside his own saloon, a cardinal sin (see the MAVERICK motto further down).

"Why do you think Indians always ride bareback? Dapper Dan win all the saddles!"

With O'Rourke having his worst outing of the black and white season, it's up to Agarn to save the day in Go For Broke. While we're still several months from the debut of the iconic catchphrase, you won't know why everyone says Agarn is dumb. He exhausts every plausible possibility, finally gets caught red handed by Parmenter, then convinces the Captain into a temporary alliance aided by Terkel and a timely glance at a crate of sorghum cookies:

"Perhaps you didn't catch my name. I'll throw it again: Beauregard Clayton, sir!"

A Captain Parmenter masquerade is our second novelty in this Merrill-Dreben script, and a highly plausible lampshade is provided for why Agarn can't do this one. Dapper Dan would recognize Agarn behind a ruse but hasn't seen the Captain yet. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Parmenter sets his by-the-book approach aside to save the troop's pension fund. True, it's a gamble that they'll be able to talk The Old Man out of a military court later, but the Sarge is generally able to talk him out of anything, right?

Besides, Parmenter's disguise provides Go For Broke with its biggest laughs, with Berry's performance rivaling his conditioned Custer in Old Ironpants in that department. The crash course in poker takes, and the highly unlikely scenario of Captain Parmenter running the conman out of town at his own game is another commendable curveball in an episode not only full of, but driven by them.

Great as it is to see the creativity, the execution is too sloppy for Go For Broke to soar with the eagles. O'Rourke stands up in front of everyone and declares he'll bet the saloon at one point, an exposure that goes against everything we have learned before and everything that happens after. O'Rourke does overplay his hand in other installments (i.e. Yellow Bird, Will the Real Captain Please Try to Stand Up?) but stays conscious of the need to conceal the business at all times.

When the Sarge is quickly rebuffed by Dan ("you lost that an hour ago") and scrambling for cash only to come up with enough for one chip, it seems highly unlikely that the Dapper One would stick around with nothing left to win. How'd O'Rourke keep playing? And along the lines of the last paragraph, the most nagging question of all: how to conceal the Enterprises after Dapper Dan runs out of winnings and table stakes at the end? Isn't Parmenter now the owner of the saloon? At the very least, wouldn't he now know who Dapper Dan won it from?

"I could use an extra cane!"

Beauregard Clayton is quite the creation--I would have welcomed a return visit at some point. A notable difference from Berry's previous alter ego: even while under the influence of Custer in Old Ironpants, Wilton couldn't mask his clumsiness. As Clayton, this pushy Parmenter intentionally destroys mugs with his cane on the way in, far more bumptious and arrogant than even his officer siblings. The ability to completely disappear into character is impressive--he gives even the Corporal a run for his money.

George Gobel ended up with this gig at Forrest Tucker's recommendation after lunch at the Lakeside Country Club (Tuck often lunched there as it was a stone's throw from the F TROOP set) and he's a perfect fit for Cousin Henry, who like many other Fort Courage visitors was just a little ahead of his time with embryonic versions of the automobile, telephone and radio. The assertion that the folding table was inconceivable in 1866 is shakier, since they are documented to have become common by the Colonial Era.

Hy Averback's elevation to de facto executive producer (made official in Season Two) after William T. Orr lost his power struggle at WB resulted in reduced involvement from series creators Ed James and Seaman Jacobs (only 3 shows after Orr's removal). The Dreben-Merrill team got a heavier workload after the shakeup--after only two credits in the first 16 episodes, they penned six of the final 18 first season teleplays. Captain Parmenter displayed more competence in their scripts (see reviews for Captain Parmenter, One Man Army; Corporal Agarn's Farewell to the Troops among others) but the writers were usually adept at staying faithful to the show's characters while getting creative. Go for Broke has its moments but joins Farewell to the Troops as one of the few Dreben-Merrill misfires. Parmenter losing his clumsiness, O'Rourke his secrecy, and a villain sticking around with no motivation to do so results in a wobbly structure for some admittedly good gags.

CREDIT WHERE IT IS DUE:

The poker action is sparse but what's here avoids cliche and passes muster. Shortly after it is agreed they will need "Jacks or better to open", "Beauregard" opens the betting and troubles Dan for one card. Then turns over "2, 3, 4, 5, Jack"---all the same suit for a flush. Plausible under the guidelines, and very trusting of Henry's direction, since Parmenter discards a pair of Jacks to draw at it! It's easily the right call, too. He's roughly 20% to hit that flush versus 12% (assuming three discards) to hit a set, and the set won't help him anyway against Dan's straight. Nicely researched.

SPEAKING OF CLAYTON:

There is indeed a Clayton, Louisiana, near the Mississippi border. Population 584 in the 2020 census!

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

Until the Vice President saves the day (for once), the worst it's ever been: O'Rourke loses the saloon, all of the recent profits, and all of the working capital!

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON:

Zero, but there's plenty of court martial worthy crimes for O'Rourke to worry about without it. Embezzlement gets you twenty-five years, and Agarn's suggestion of desertion ("I just saved us five years!") would net twenty. Neither as bad as the hangman's noose, but still.....not good.

WISE OLD HEKAWI SAYING?

Two, and both of them are uncharacteristically lucid. "Man who gamble with few dollars always end up on short end of buffalo horn." Can't argue with that, and Sarge provides plenty of proof of the second: "Man who play with fire have better chance than man who play with Dapper Dan." Speaking of our one shot sharpie, one of Pappy Maverick's proverbs rings clearest: "Never play in a rigged game unless you rig it yourself."

THE NIELSENS:

Go For Broke registered a 20.3 rating, a tenth of a point below the season average, with a 30.9 share. George Gobel would guest star on F TROOP's competition, THE RED SKELTON SHOW, the following week on Feb. 1st, but the Troopers were pre-empted by a Sammy Davis Jr. special.

BOTTOM LINE:

Always great to see new wrinkles, and particularly hilarious moments by Gobel and Berry, but Go For Broke is too carelessly scripted to really score--these variations on F TROOP themes were better explored in more meticulously written installments faithful to the characters. For a better exploration of O'Rourke Enterprises making a big gambling bet with its working capital, check out Johnny Eagle Eye. (**1/2 out of four)

Television Reviews: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob Helps Martha" (1959)/"Bob Helps Von Zell" (1959)

2023-07-11T15:59:00.015-07:00

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob Helps Martha" (1959 NBC-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions) Original Air Date: May 26, 1959. Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Guest Stars: Elena Verdugo as Rosita Ballestero, Rose Marie as Martha Randolph, Harry Von Zell as himself. Written by Paul Henning and Dick Wesson. Directed by Bob Cummings.

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob Helps Von Zell" (1959 NBC-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions) Original Air Date: June 2, 1959. Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Guest Stars: Elena Verdugo as Rosita Ballestero, Rose Marie as Martha Randolph, Harry Von Zell as himself, George Burns as himself. Written by Paul Henning and Dick Wesson. Directed by Bob Cummings.

Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB/THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide and overview of the series is at this link.

Schultzy's friend Martha Randolph has 'borrowed' the Spanish costume from Bob's studio without the Boss' knowledge, and had a chance meeting with a television star while wearing it--GEORGE BURNS SHOW announcer Harry Von Zell. Von Zell thinks he's really met a Senorita, and plumber's secretary Martha tells a teeny white lie to lead him on. Namely, that she is one of Bob's models. Unfortunately, Martha can't continue the ruse because Bob needs the costume to photograph the much more culturally appropriate professional model Rosita Ballestero for an ad campaign.

Rosita is also much sexier (no offense, Martha) and much, much more jealous and hot tempered. Despite Schultzy's warning that Rosita won't take the gig without a little romance from Bob, our playboy is willing (even eager) to do whatever it takes to get the job done. What a pro!

But you know what they say about the best laid plans (or plans to get laid--however you look at it). Von Zell drops by Bob's office, hoping to see the Senorita Bonita sans mask and veil. Naturally Rosita is confused with Martha by the snooping Harry and sometimes it's better to be lucky than good, as Harry ends up with Rosita as his evening's date after the smoke clears. Martha is angered and Bob is none too happy either but plots to put things back in place before the night even gets young.

"You mean he traded me like a sack of flour???"

A Paul Fonda (or even a Bill Lear for that matter) wouldn't have been so innocent in creating the misunderstanding with Rosita, but the fictionalized Von Zell of the BURNS AND ALLEN universe is certainly clueless enough to seem unintentional. For sure, "turned you over to me" should have been offensive enough wording to shoot both Von Zell and Collins down in Rosita's eyes and Von Zell doubles down: "I got you for nothing!"

"She is a doll, you are a dog, and he is my new sweetheart!"

Yep, ignorance is bliss, and Von Zell doesn't even realize he's being used by Rosita to get back at Bob. The first half of this Henning/Wesson two parter has an amusing springboard that builds for a while as the action moves back to the Collins household as our playboy attempts to get the right puzzle pieces in place for the evening: Bob with Rosita and Harry back to Martha. Lucking into outkicking his coverage doesn't give Harry a clue: he arrives for his date dressed like a mariachi guitarist. (At least Von Zell does have a musical background.) Bob knows how to play to one's strengths, and he gets Martha and Harry together by surmising that the way to Von Zell's heart is through his stomach.

"Between the flippin', flatterin' and flamenco-in', I'm too pooped to park!"

In the star studded (and gimmicky) final season, Elena Verdugo made three appearances in all, with these episodes following Bob and the Ravishing Realtor. She was Bob's special guest star for a reason, hot off PANAMA SAL and her own long running CBS series MEET MILLIE. Verdugo as Bob's latest model was a real coup, but it's too bad her material wasn't better; the earlier segment was marred by improbable silliness better suited to less sophisticated sitcoms, and this two parter really seems padded out--particularly in its second half hour.

As a standalone, though, Bob Helps Martha has its moments, with the confusion at the Collins studio providing the best laughs. The slapstickier Act II at the home front suffers in comparison--as game as Cummings is with the physical humor, Martha's inedible pizza is one more fifth season setpiece that doesn't live up to the standards of the show's prime. Second part Bob Helps Von Zell shifts the focus to the playboy's effort to get Harry to make his moves on Martha, but unfortunately has fewer laughs and more obvious padding. Even the planned payoff of George Burns' guest appearance (stealing Schultzy away to replace Gracie!) doesn't really deliver. Both episodes are thankfully sans Tammy Marihugh (a.k.a. this series' Cousin Oliver) but have the other problems we frequently see in 1959 LOVE THAT BOB segments: an overreliance on meta guest stars, all-too-conventional situations and Dwayne Hickman's M.I.A. status. Wesson and Henning still have some verbal wit in them but the end is in sight. (Bob Helps Martha: **1/2 out of four; Bob Helps Von Zell: ** out of four).

DID BOB SCORE?

How we really know LOVE THAT BOB is nearing the end, just five episodes from it: Collins' aforementioned line about being too pooped to park. With Elena Verdugo???? Dude....Lothario is losin' it.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Von Zell, inadvertently, though Bob loses interest after removing the unwitting obstacle. What show is this again? (The fictional Von Zell of the BURNS universe was single, but the real Von Zell had been married to wife Minerva for 34 years(!) at this point, and remained so until his death in 1981.)

END OF AN ERA:

For McCadden Productions for sure. LOVE THAT BOB was nearing the finish line and THE GEORGE BURNS SHOW had already aired the final installment of its one and only season a month earlier. Burns was making his second appearance of this season (Bob Butters Beck, Beck Butters Better was the other) but all the crossovers didn't help Burns and Von Zell keep their show going sans Gracie Allen.

If you'd like to watch this two parter for yourself, here it is, courtesy the YouTube channel of yours truly:

F TROOP Fridays: "A Fort's Best Friend is Not a Mother" (1966)

2023-05-12T17:05:00.005-07:00

F TROOP Fridays: Number 37

F TROOP: "A Fort's Best Friend is Not a Mother" (ABC-TV/Warner Brothers 1966) Season One, Episode 31. Original Air Date: April 19, 1966. Starring Forrest Tucker as Sgt. O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Cpl. Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Bob Steele as Duffy, Joe Brooks as Vanderbilt, Ivan Bell as Dudleson, Ben Frommer as Papa Bear. Guest Star: Jeanette Nolan as Mrs. Parmenter. Written by Ed James and Seaman Jacobs. Directed by Seymour Robbie.

The latest visitor to Fort Courage is the wife of General Thor X. Parmenter, sister in law to Colonel Jupiter Parmenter, and of course mother of one Captain Wilton Parmenter. Mrs. Parmenter intends to stay with her son for a few days en route to California, but after getting a good look at Wilton's quarters and girlfriend Wrangler Jane the General's wife decides to extend her stay--to keep her son away from things "far more dangerous than wild Indians".

"I made a General out of your father and I can make a General out of you!"

With twin goals to pursue: bringing son Wilton equal in rank to her husband and thwarting Jane's attempts to get wifed by Wilton, Mrs. Parmenter digs in with gusto. Side by side with her son from reveille and performing twice as many inspections (i.e. mess hall, barracks, Duffy's mustache), the General's wife wakes up sleepy little Fort Courage. It's only a matter of time before her snooping uncovers O'Rourke Enterprises, so the Sarge decides to convince her that the Fort is a powder keg that can go off at any second. As always, O'Rourke half solves the problem--Momma Parmenter is headed off on the next stage, but she's alerted the family friends in D.C. that the Captain is to be transferred with her!

"She wants us to dig a moat! Who we fightin', Robin Hood??"

After a visit from the Captain's Uncle in Iron Horse Go Home, we find out this time that A Fort's Best Friend is not a Mother, as the Parmenter matriarch proves to be the biggest threat of all potential family members to the Fort Courage status quo. As played by Jeanette Nolan (later to headline her own western sitcom, GUNSMOKE spinoff DIRTY SALLY), Mrs. (no first name) Parmenter is smothering mother one line, stern disciplinarian the next. With her husband's stature, even O'Rourke is wary of her wrath, as she can go places that no officer encumbered by military decorum can.

"Horace Greeley had a terrible sense of direction!"

A mother's touch can only go so far, though, and General Custer was far more successful in turning Wilton into a feared figure (Old Ironpants). The General had the advantage of getting Parmenter away from the men for two weeks--with home field advantage here, the Captain exasperates Mom by being "entirely too familiar" with his subordinates. O'Rourke is correct in figuring her prim and proper Philadelphia sensitivities will be overwhelmed by a "wild" west town, but doesn't figure on her discomfort taking The Great White Pigeon away.

"The town needs you, I need you, the whole West needs you!"

"You're right.....but what'll I tell my mother?"

Not to worry, the Sarge figures out a way to satisfy his adversary's ambition while assuaging her fears with another well-placed Hekawi attack. Or more precisely, plans for one. The Council of War is one of the show's funniest sequences, and Corporal Agarn is to be commended for having the stones to impersonate Geronimo so soon after claiming to have killed the warrior almost resulted in the Corporal's own demise (Our Hero, What's His Name?).

In the end, Captain Parmenter impresses Mom sufficiently with his forcefulness to reclaim his command from her, and apparently one trip out West was enough for her as Nolan was another one and done guest star. We later learn she has a daughter though, as Wilton's sister Daphne visits for the second season's Miss Parmenter.

But that's in the future. F TROOP's initial season displays a show at its peak with three episodes left in that batch, but about to lose its co-creators: this was the penultimate episode for James and Jacobs (The Day The Indians Won). While they lost their power struggle with producer Hy Averback, the writers went out with several high notes. A Fort's Best Friend is Not a Mother is F TROOP at the height of its comedic potency, marred only by the rather tiresome re-use of DODGE CITY footage for the staged "brawl" at O'Rourke's saloon. The move to color would fortunately take away the temptation away to do it again (and Warner's almost certainly would have without it).

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

That sure looked like considerable damage done to the saloon just to scare the Captain's mother into leaving. A new mirror and, well, every bit as much damage to the watering hole as was done in O'Rourke vs. O'Reilly (and of course, the film DODGE CITY). Plus, the scheme backfired, so whatever the cost to repair the place (mirrors, glasses, etc.) was all in vain.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON:

Despite obvious consortion with the enemy, the Sarge is probably in the clear thanks to the deflection of allowing himself to be burned at the stake by the savage Chiefs. Who would suspect a man endangering himself like that?

THINGS YOU LEARNED:

Vanderbilt's enlistment was purely accidental, Duffy remains a bachelor, and most of all, buglers do NOT tell General's wives what to do.

PC OR NOT PC?

Wilton's mother certainly looks down her nose at the "wild" natives, but to be fair, she's that way with everyone. She calls Fort Courage the most peaceful town she's ever seen though, so maybe things are spicier back east than we could have surmised from Lucy Lanfield's visit.

Jeanette Nolan gets the same room to run that was given other 'name' guest stars, and has a field day with some wonderfully loony lines from James and Jacobs. Clumsy stock footage during her town tour is really the only drawback here, and the Council of War is just one of the highlights--others are Jane's subtle tug of war with her future(?) mother-in-law over an oblivious (as always) Wilton and Nolan's scrutiny of the troops. It all adds up to another hilarious first season outing. (***1/2 out of four)

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Return of the Wolf" (1955)

2023-03-14T17:09:00.004-07:00

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Return of The Wolf (or: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonda)" (1955 NBC-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions). Original Air Date: June 19, 1955. Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary de Camp as Margaret MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Lyle Talbot as Captain Paul Fonda. Written by Paul Henning and Bill Manhoff. Directed by Rod Amateau.

Introduction/overview for LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW is at this link.

"I just landed...but now that I hear your lovely voice, I'm right back up in the clouds again!"

No, that isn't Bob on the phone with Shirley or Collette. It's Paul Fonda calling Margaret to let her know he's back in town. The Return of the Wolf is enough to give Bob second thoughts about taking Chuck on a planned fishing trip and leaving Margaret alone in town with his old Army co-pilot. As Margaret surmises when Bob calls Fonda a wolf, it takes one to know one.

Our playboy shutterbug bounces from home to office to lakeside cabin and home again attempting to stop the liason, just missing Margaret and the big bad Wolf at each stop. He enlists Schultzy to provide the workplace distraction and his beloved nephew to thwart the rest, all the while insisting that the latter is way too young for such things.

Simple first season setup puts the shoe on the other foot in Lyle Talbot's titular return after a brief attempt to play matchmaker for Margaret in Choosing Miss Coffee Break and its sequel. Understandably, she finds Fonda more exciting than Hal Peary's giggling politician and chafes at brother Bob's hypocrisy. There's no models to be found and the plot and premise is already familiar: Bob to the Rescue aired just two months prior. But Return of the Wolf improves considerably on its more generic predecessor.

LOVE THAT BOB excelled at dream sequences: The Sheik and Bob Tangles with Ruthie are two of the best examples reviewed here previously. Like the former, Return of the Wolf features fantasy inspired by the silent era, complete with title cards. It's a perfect fit for Cummings and Talbot as they receive free reign to see who can overact most outrageously. Amazingly, Ed Wood alumni Talbot seems to win that battle in hilarious fashion--and deCamp hams it up commendably as well.

Bob's Dream--or Unhand my Sister You Cad! is the climax and undisputed highlight of Return of the Wolf, but the uncomplicated, bare bones plot has other charms. The charms of Charmaine Schultz are used to distract El Lobo while Bob scrambles to cut him off at the office, but predictably Fonda treats the would be seductress as one of the guys. Yes, just like Bob. I guess Schultzy is powerless to land the poon hounds but has the nice guys (a la Frank Crenshaw) to herself. Naturally, she prefers the "cads", and despite the constant admonishing from her younger brother, so does Margaret, apparently.

Despite his cheesy entrance line, Fonda says he's a changed man--though his reaction to Margaret greeting him in a wedding dress indicates he still has lothario tendencies in common with his war buddy. Hey, Paul's still single when the series ends and so is Bob. Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too? Packing for the fishing trip and the lack of success on it offer secondary pleasures, keeping the smiles coming until the belly laughs of the finale commence. It all adds up to a lot of fun being had for actors and audience despite the dearth of models.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Bob was! Yes, it's funnier when he's the blockee instead of the blocker, but variance is welcome in small doses.

DID BOB SCORE?

See above. Wasn't even trying, so you know it's still early in the show's run.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Three segments from the end of LOVE THAT BOB's freshman season, Return of the Wolf displays a sitcom emerging from its infancy and rounding into form. Talbot would continue popping up for the next four seasons, and remained Bob's best male foil throughout. Soon, Henning and friends would find ways to keep Collins and Fonda on the chase at the same time (Bob Meets Fonda's Sister) but with at least two memorable setpieces, Return of the Wolf is a great showcase for the show's regulars and its most frequent recurring character. (*** out of four)

To watch this one on YouTube, click on this link

F TROOP Fridays: "Captain Parmenter, One Man Army" (1966)

2023-02-10T04:00:00.015-08:00

F TROOP Fridays: Number 36

F TROOP: "Captain Parmenter, One Man Army" (1966 ABC-TV/Warner Brothers) Season One, Episode 26: Original Air Date March 15, 1966. Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Randolph Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Wilton Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Bob Steele as Duffy, Joe Brooks as Vanderbilt, John Mitchum as Hoffenmueller, Ivan Bell as Dudleson. Guest Stars: Willard Waterman as Captain Bill "Cannonball" McCormack, Herman Rudin as the Shug Chief, William Phipps as the Scout. Written by Howard Merrill and Stan Dreben. Directed by Charles R. Rondeau.

"You mean...we're civilians?"

Fort Courage is visited by its inaugurating CO, Captain McCormack. The old ramrod was bent up pretty good by his subordinates, becoming a civilian entirely after completing his tour of duty. But the old Cannonball rolled one over on his tormentors before leaving, swearing them in for another hitch after his resignation.

This revelation makes every enlisted F Trooper sans Parmenter a free agent, and ever enterprising O'Rourke sees another golden opportunity: expanding O'Rourke Enterprises without the need to hide his activities from the army. The men follow their non commissioned leader, with Duffy (gold prospecting), Dobbs (orchestra tryout), Vandy (the medical field) and Hoffenmueller (a brewery) seeing the chance to pursue long-held dreams. They aren't the only ones--with Parmenter alone at Fort Courage, the Shugs see a chance to realize their dream--conquering the now very short-handed fort.

In Scourge of the West we learned that Captain Parmenter followed two Captains and a Major who had been dispatched previously by O'Rourke, and Captain Parmenter, One Man Army introduces us to F Troop's first Captain, "Cannonball" Bill McCormack. Understandably, leading F Troop was enough to drive poor Cannonball completely out of the service, but given the pranks described it's pretty clear that blustery Bill just didn't win the hearts of his Privates the way Parmenter has. At least McCormack (played by former GREAT GILDERSLEEVE Waterman) enjoys his last laugh heartily.

Even then, defeat is only temporary for O'Rourke. The Sarge turns this inconvenience into an El Dorado but really doesn't appear to be doing anything as a civilian that he wouldn't be as a non-com. Previously, O'Rourke Enterprises tried having the VP on the outside with disastrous results in Me Big Heap Injun. This time there's lots of money made, with the big difference being O'Rourke's presence--clearly, Sarge is President for a reason. I think quality control would have proven to be a real problem in expanding the 19th Century answer to Men's Wearhouse, however (more on that below).

Stan Dreben and Howard Merrill continue to showcase improved competence for the titular Old Man after his salvage of the pension fund in Go For Broke and his sharp revelation at the denouement of Spy Counterspy, Counter Counterspy. This is Parmenter's finest moment as CO to date, as he holds off an attack by the code busting Shugs with only Wrangler Jane's assistance. Wilton's idea to save Fort Courage is lifted from the MAVERICK episode The Ghost Soldiers, but it is never an insult to have your intellect compared to Bret's! Objectively, Wilton's bluff is even the more convincing of the two (more on that below). Parmenter wears several hats for the week, and there's also little dropoff at Bugler from Dobbs with the Captain assuming those duties--admittedly, that one is a low bar to clear.

As for the Shugs, they get mentioned a few more times during the first season, but this attack is their last hurrah as formidable opposition. New Chief Herman Rudin (replacing Henry Brandon) isn't any more successful than his predecessor at capturing Fort Courage, with little excuse given the troopers' reduction in manpower. We later learn in The Day The Indians Won that Geronimo reduced the Shugs to a half dozen braves, explaining the reason we never saw nor heard from them during the color season. The peaceful, mutually prosperous approach wins yet again!

BAITING THE CENSORS:

When Wilton and Jane are left alone in town for the Dodge City trip, Jane tries again to get fresh, but the Captain pointedly chooses to polish the cannon. Undeterred, Jane suggests he can kiss his girlfriend while polishing it.....kinky!

SOME GUARDHOUSE:

The escape of the Shug Chief in the coda is just the latest: Bald Eagle and El Diablo previously broke out of that cell, which appears to be even less effective than the Fort's cannon.

NAGGING QUESTIONS:

Quite a few. The biggest: why would O'Rourke just come right out and state "this saloon is only the beginning" when announcing the formation of International Trading Corporation? I thought Good Old Pete was his frontman? Even if you're temporarily out of the Army, you've already stated you're coming back, so why risk potential snooping into the ownership later? Why didn't Dobbs and Vanderbilt just change suits during the fitting? And finally, who played the saloon girls celebrating the troopers' freedom? Two have speaking parts--both attractive, yet also uncredited.

HOW'S BUSINESS AS O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?:

Briefly booming, though the quality control indicates the Hekawis are far better at making blankets than suits. Presumably the saloon lost all the troopers (including the owner) to Dodge City for a weekend, but sure seemed to benefit from the same regular customers celebrating their newfound freedom.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH TREASON?

Since he and Agarn were legally out of uniform most of the episode, there weren't any chargeable offenses this time. As was the case in Here Comes the Tribe, the non-coms prove remarkably effective behind enemy lines, but the lack of an official commission at the time of the heroics leaves them with no official recognition for it. Considering their side hustle, it's probably best to keep flying under the radar anyway.

PC OR NOT PC?

A Hell of a lot more PC than the aforementioned Ghost Soldiers. The Shugs weren't able to get very close to Fort Courage thanks to the the number of bullets fired by Jane and Wilton, so falling for Wilton's ploy is far less insulting than Maverick's titular 1959 ruse. Elsewhere the Shugs successfully break the telegraph code and their Chief escapes from his captors, so they are intelligent, resourceful foes--note it was Geronimo and not F Troop that eventually did them in (as we learned in The Day the Indians Won). And as always, Wrangler Jane remains the best shot in the territory by a wide margin. Thank God she didn't go to Dodge for the weekend!

THE BOTTOM LINE:

About par for the season's course, with the civilian clothes alone providing a lot of laughs. Dreben and Merrill go light on the usual pratfalls and generously distribute funny lines to the supporting cast along with a less roisterous helping of sight gags. Parmenter's growing competence doesn't extend to sniffing out the secrets of O'Rourke Enterprises or ending his clumsiness, but he does a nice job literally holding the Fort while we get a glance at what the troopers would be doing if not enlisted. It's too bad we couldn't peek at that weekend road trip. (*** out of four)

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Bob Gets Schultzy into Pictures" (1957)

2022-12-27T18:06:00.007-08:00

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Bob Gets Schultzy into Pictures" (NBC-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions 1957) Original Air Date: October 1, 1957. Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Dick Wesson as Frank Crenshaw, Merry Anders as Mary, Phyllis McMeen as Phyllis, Pattee Chapman as Gertrude, Lisa Davis as Giselle, Doris Singleton as Marsha Singer, Elizabeth Slifer as Freida. Special Guest Star Alan Ladd as Himself. Written by Paul Henning, Shirl Gordon and Dick Wesson. Directed by Bob Cummings.

Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide is at this link.

Schultzy has been sending letters back home (Pennsylvania) to high school frenemy Marsha Singer, bragging about her life in Hollywood "making pictures". The ruse seems blown to bits when Marsha arrives for a visit, and Bob fully intends to pop the bubble until he gets a whiff of Singer's snootiness. Determined to take Schultzy's tormentor down a peg or two, our loverboy begins transforming his Girl Friday into competition for Marilyn and Jayne.

"Do you think this wig'll do it?"

"Well, a wiggle did it for her!'

The silver tongued orator rhapsodizes about his unrequited love for Flaming Charmaine(!) and her steamy celluloid scenes deemed too earthy for France and Italy. With the help of three cooperative models the subterfuge works on Singer--and on Schultzy's sailor date Frank Crenshaw, who gets the acting bug and ends up cast in Alan Ladd's upcoming Navy flick THE DEEP SIX when he believes Bob's bull. That just might come in handy, since Ladd happens to be Singer's favorite actor.

"If Charmaine is such a glamourous star, how come I haven't seen ONE of her pictures?"

"Censorship!"

Bob's successful makeover on Pamela Livingston in The Sheik might well be surpassed by his work in Bob Gets Schultzy Into Pictures. Ostensibly helping her to get his work done, Bob puts his full force into turning Singer green and succeeds despite the expected hiccups. True, it takes the special guest appearance at the end to really sell it, but don't sell Bob short. It was his PSYOP on Frank that ultimately brought the seaman to Mr. Ladd's orbit---and Ladd into Bob's.

"Who knows what motivating forces draw me irresistibly to her?"

Yes, Bob's carnality takes a backseat--for once, he puts his devilish charm to altruistic use. The models are in on the scheme and Collins persuades them all to let Schultzy shine. Lisa Davis played three different characters during the show's run, making her debut as Giselle here. Perhaps Lisa Gaye was unavailable, since Giselle seems to be a carbon copy of Collette Du Bois and even mentions Collette as her friend. Frequent MAVERICK leading lady Merry Anders makes a return after Bob Gets Out-Uncled, modeling this time after being a tennis partner in that third season finale.

Rounding out our trio is twenty year old UCLA cheerleader Phyllis McMeen (at left in the pic), who also continues the LOVE THAT BOB tradition of casting pageant contestants: she was 1955's Miss Woodland Hills. McMeen was quite active during her UCLA years, winning on Strike It Rich in 1956 and scoring this acting role as part of the publicity. After modeling for Halo shampoo print ads and being named homecoming queen for the Bruins as well, McMeen opted for marriage over continuing a career in 1959. She's predictably given the fewest lines of the models but doesn't distract from the fun.

Forever immortalized as Caroline Appleby on I LOVE LUCY, Singleton pretty much plays the same type of nemesis here for Charmaine. Longtime BOB fans won't be surprised by the titular hero's lack of interest in romancing her--snobbery has always turned him off. In one of her final TV roles, Elizabeth Slifer is the woman Bob thinks has the way to Alan Ladd's heart. The prolific character actress and Dallas native passed away a year later at 62.

In the LOVE THAT BOB universe, Bob's stinkerish behavior often gets rewarded (i.e. The Beautiful Psychologist, Bob Gives S.R.O. Performance). With seemingly equal frequency, good deeds do not go unpunished (Bob Saves Harvey). It isn't 100%, but common enough to qualify as subversive for 1950's TV. That is again the case here, with Collins' date for the evening giving him much more than he bargained for. Meanwhile, Schultzy's payback for her fibs? An enhanced stature to her Keystone state homegirls, and some smooching with the star of SHANE. The karma in this setting is subtly but noticeably worlds away from BILKO. Tell me again why this show wasn't really ahead of its time?

Kind of curious that Ladd's promotion of THE DEEP SIX didn't air closer to that film's release date (January 15, 1958--three months later), but like many shows, BOB liked to bring out the big guns early in the season (remember, Zsa Zsa Gabor opened the show's third). Ladd's star power was fading a little from his heyday, but he's flattered handsomely by the script--somewhat to Bob's chagrin, he's everyone's favorite actor, even Chuck's. Returning the favor, his is one of the best meta celebrity appearances on the show, besting those by Peter Lawford and even Cummings himself (more on those later as we continue the guide).

"When there's caviar around, who wants navy beans?"

In the end, this is Ann B. Davis' episode. Hilariously fickle and ditzy in costume, with pitch perfect reactions to the star, this is the installment that finally put her in the winner's circle come Emmy time in April 1958, and deservedly so. Even though the writing slipped during the final season, Davis repeated at the Emmys.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Nothing to block this time, believe it or not. Schultzy is getting all the action--and from our men in uniform to boot!

DID BOB SCORE?

As noted above, he was letting his heart of gold show this time and putting his hard working assistant ahead of himself. To the point that he DID end up with a date, but I doubt if he put much effort into getting on the basepaths. Watch the episode below to see what I mean.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Showing we don't need to focus on Bob's late night exploits to make a highly entertaining segment, Bob Gets Schultzy into Pictures delivers the goods long before the much-hyped appearance by Ladd, who puts a perfect capper on this fun, memorable outing. Well written, directed and acted--Davis might have been the only one awarded hardware but she wasn't the only one deserving it from this show. (***1/2 out of four)

***Want to see it for yourself? YouTube is your friend:

Television Review: LOVE THAT BOB: "Hawaii Comes Calling" (1955)

2022-11-28T16:24:00.012-08:00

LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW: "Hawaii Comes Calling" (1955 CBS-TV/Laurel-McCadden Productions) Original Air Date: November 3, 1955. Starring Bob Cummings as Bob Collins, Rosemary deCamp as Margaret MacDonald, Dwayne Hickman as Chuck MacDonald, Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, Marjorie Bennett as Mrs. Niemeyer. Guest Stars Hilo Hattie as Mother, Dell-Fin Poaha as Dell-Fin. Written by Paul Henning, Shirl Gordon and William Cowley. Directed by Rod Amateau.

Introduction to the LOVE THAT BOB a.k.a. THE BOB CUMMINGS SHOW episode guide is at this link.

Bob is welcomed back to the household after a trip to Hawaii (still not a state yet, that's four years into the future). Ostensibly Bob's excursion was a business trip, but actually he was keeping an eye on his latest target, actress Kay Michaels. Who incidentally never left the mainland: a misunderstanding, go figure. Not that Bob didn't work--every angle. Learning that "a make kaua" usually resulted in plenty of action with the lovely native ladies, Bob ends up necking with stunning Dell-Finn when he tries the phrase. Ten times, she recounts to her overjoyed mother.

It made for a nice vacation for our playboy, but what non-native Bob doesn't realize the phrase ("until we die") is actually a marriage proposal in the islands. Soon our loverboy finds Poaha has followed him to the mainland with her mother and brother in tow--expecting our shutterbug to follow through on the promise.

After concluding the initial three episode arc introducing Lola Albright as Kay Michaels (Bob's primary romantic interest during the sophomore season), LOVE THAT BOB launched right into another trilogy about the Hawaii jaunt and its aftermath. Hawaii Comes Calling is the middle installment in which the chick follows Bob home to roost. At first Collins seems more than happy to reminisce about the trip, so much so that he doesn't even mind that busybody Niemeyer was spying on him out west!

Understandable, as Uncle Bob is a bigger hero to Chuck than ever once the youngster sees the steamy (for 1955) home movies from the islands. If Chuck thinks his Uncle is The King at that point, his awe reaches a whole new level when the island beauty shows up on his doorstep. Hickman gets some of his best laughs of the season with his subtle, yet thoroughly star-struck reaction--hey, he did just see quite a bit of her on the screen!

No series got you acquainted with more of the era's pageant beauties than LOVE THAT BOB, and the appearance of Dell-Fin Poaha is one more feather in the show's cap. 1950's Miss Hawaii, Poaha was starting a showbiz career like so many other contest winners. A multi-instrumentalist who released CD's into the 21st century, Poaha played ukelele, drums, piano and sang with the Dell-Fin Trio for over forty years of mainland appearances. Music was her sole focus after the 1950's, but by decade's end she performed on THE LIBERACE SHOW, acted on HAWAIIAN EYE (of course) and returned to LOVE THAT BOB for Hawaii Stays and Bob and Schultzy at Sea. She's appealing despite her limited acting experience; widowed from Olympian Walter Luchinger last year, Poaha is living in California today at age 91.

Bob’s attempt to weasel out of the nuptials isn’t fully resolved at the fade out, necessitating the aforementioned third installment the following week. This is a fine lead-in to it with one quibble: it's A Make Kaua, not A Mali Kaua. Henning, Gordon and Cowley were usually more meticulous.

What are you guys watching, stag movies???

MOST SUGGESTIVE LINE:

Bob and Chuck watch the aforementioned home movies of the trip with looks on their faces suggesting they're watching something far naughtier on that projector. We do see what they're viewing: Dell-Finn in a two piece bathing suit for most of the footage. After several minutes of watching himself in action with Miss Hawaii, Bob excuses himself so he can take a cold shower.

WHO WAS BLOCKING?

Mrs. Neimeyer was spying, but certainly wasn't stopping anything or even attempting to. Bob had a clear path this episode and didn't even need that car Chuck was so eager to borrow. But----

DID BOB SCORE?

Definitely got on the bases in the islands, with the opportunity to cross home plate back in L.A., but since the traditional Dell-Finn required marriage to do that, our playboy passed. Some lines just can't be crossed with ol' Bob....

THE BOTTOM LINE:

As was often the case with Henning's three parters, short on plot advancement in this middle installment, but it is never dull. The humor involving Hattie's mother is corny to modern eyes, and mute brother George could stand to be more menacing to heighten Bob's anxiety. Then again, perhaps the large knives are enough--Henning and Company seemed to think so. Amateau's deft handling of an installment that barely leaves the Collins living room deserves mention--this never seems stagy despite the household confinement. Here's hoping that prequel Hawaii Calls and sequel Hawaii Stays are made easier to see in the near future, but Hawaii Comes Calling works well as a standalone. (*** out of four)

Expanding on that thought: if you'd like to check out Hawaii Comes Calling for yourself, good news, it's on YouTube! See below:

F TROOP Fridays: "Too Many Cooks Spoil the Troop" (1966)

2022-10-21T16:00:00.032-07:00

F TROOP Fridays: Number 35

F TROOP: "Too Many Cooks Spoil the Troop" (ABC-TV/Warner Brothers 1966) Season 1, Episode 28; Original Air Date March 29, 1966. Starring Forrest Tucker as Sergeant O'Rourke, Larry Storch as Corporal Agarn, Ken Berry as Captain Parmenter, Melody Patterson as Wrangler Jane, Frank deKova as Chief Wild Eagle, Don Diamond as Crazy Cat, James Hampton as Bugler Dobbs, Bob Steele as Duffy, Joe Brooks as Vanderbilt, James Gregory as Major Duncan, Jamie Farr as Standup Bull, Ivan Bell as Dudleson. Written by Stan Burns and Mike Marmer. Directed by Gene Reynolds.

"I hereby requisition your cook--and that's an order!'

Major Duncan brings his usual saddlebag of trouble to Fort Courage, taking Cookie with him after a dinner in the mess hall. Fortunately O'Rourke has a solution for Parmenter, presenting a formerly modest Agarn as the perfect replacement. Of course, it's the latest moneymaker for O'Rourke Enterprises--they can order more food than they need, using some leftovers in the saloon and selling the rest to the Hekawi.

"Sarge, it takes me twenty minutes to boil a three minute egg!"

Despite Agarn's lack of culinary talents, O'Rourke reasons that a simple cookbook will solve that problem well enough. Naturally it ends up destroyed, forcing Agarn to improvise. And subsequently, O'Rourke to do the same in order to calm the restless troopers. Crazy Cat proves to be a much better cook than his army counterpart. Problem solved? New one emerges---the Major is back, ready to pull rank again after losing Cookie to a Colonel.

"This is a balanced meal."

"Yes it is, these biscuits weigh as much as the main course!"

Too Many Cooks Spoil the Troop is one of the boldest expansions yet for O'Rourke Enterprises. There will no doubt be an increase in the requested supply budget caused by the Sergeant's latest idea, but as always, our non-coms will handle one crisis at a time. Gaslighting the Captain is never a problem, first on Agarn's heretofore concealed reputation as a great cook, then on the quality of the chow he's tasting. But Agarn is the only man available for the Sarge who can be trusted, and so this scheme will rely heavily on a cookbook.

"You're going to enjoy that food if it kills you."

"It probably will!'

Once the Corporal's shortcomings in the kitchen become impossible to ignore, O'Rourke has to cut the Hekawis into the subterfuge. Try as O'Rourke might to conceal his diversions, his 50/50 partners always end up getting their cut somehow. Conversely the Hekawis--unencumbered by Uncle Sam's watchful eye--are consistently better at profiting long term from their side hustles: The Playbrave Club, the steam room, even joining O.E. at dipping into government funds.

Another (unknowing) beneficiary is Wrangler Jane, whose general store is the middleman for the orders charged to the Army. O'Rourke has been getting yeast and barley for some time with the mess hall as cover, but said orders increase dramatically with Wild Eagle's taste for beef and squab and the saloon apparently needing geese (30, and the Chief didn't order them). It would appear that Jane, the Hekawis, and O'Rourke all make a profit and the government loses money on the deals. While the Civil War was the biggest cause of the explosion in U.S. debt during the 1860's ($65 million at the start of the decade, $2.76 billion by 1866), Fort Courage certainly wasn't helping matters.

Too Many Cooks might Spoil the Troop but good cuisine is apparently very hard to find, unless the White House cook spoils the demand by writing his memoirs. This little goof (along with O'Rourke's deft maneuver back to the status quo once the credited Agarn is tapped by Major Duncan) results in Cookie getting his old job back--and apparently learning a few tricks of Crazy Cat's trade via Agarn.

Too Many Cooks Spoil the Troop is the only first season assignment for the writing team of Stan Burns and Mike Marmer, and the freelancers show a great grasp of the characters and established tone. They would return for The Great Troop Robbery and enjoyed a long run in the final decade of the variety show's heyday during the 1970's, most notably on Dean Martin's show and celebrity roasts.

The latest in a score of visiting officers, James Gregory would prove to be a great enough foil to return as Major Duncan for Lieutenant O'Rourke, Front and Center. Stern, authoritative, and just a tad obnoxious in pulling rank, Duncan doesn't have a good experience at the Hekawi camp with Agarn showing him to downside of "Indian style" food. The Major apparently doesn't hold a grudge, since he's a very enthusiastic Playbrave Club customer on his return trip. It's too bad that this Major didn't make his way back for the color installments, but Gregory himself did, threatening O'Rourke Enterprises in a new civilian role (Carpetbagging, Anyone?).

Also a returning guest star is Jamie Farr, who wasn't even credited in Our Hero, What's His Name? but gets that wrong righted this time as the unsuccessfully auditioning Standup Bull. How funny was he? Read on:

THINGS YOU LEARNED:

Henny Youngman apparently stole his most famous line from Standup Bull, a little known tribal circuit comic from the 19th century. Alas, Bull's humor is just too ahead of its time--"don't smoke signal us, we'll smoke you" is the stone-faced response from the Chief.

Crazy Cat cooks with wine. I suppose dishes with bourbon or sherry are out of the question since the Sarge wouldn't want to dilute saloon supply to feed the army.

HOW'S BUSINESS AT O'ROURKE ENTERPRISES?

This scam was far from a disaster, but didn't last long and obviously didn't generate the anticipated profits with $11 weekly going to Wild Eagle within a week and the gig ending shortly thereafter. The Sarge should have known this plan was precarious. But while his non saloon-and-souvenir schemes usually fail, he has a commendably high batting average at damage control that rivals Bilko's.

NUMBER OF TIMES O'ROURKE COULD HAVE BEEN TRIED FOR TREASON:

Hiring Native help in the mess hall qualifies if it is learned that he's plying the troopers with alcohol through his dish. Might be stretching the definition, but this places Crazy Cat inside the Fort and gives him access to the plans of the "enemy".

HEKAWI WISDOM?

No official sayings this time, but that bear skin rug in Parmenter's quarters? A gift from Wild Eagle, who feels that "a bear skin in the tepee brings good luck".

PC OR NOT PC?

On balance, the former. Major Duncan feels the Indian cooking is unsanitary. To be fair to him, his opinion forms from the exaggerated version provided by the partners to keep Agarn in the fold and safely away from Apache territory. As noted above, Jane and Wild Eagle likely make out better business-wise from O'Rourke's latest side hustle than the man himself. The ever empathetic Parmenter even defers to the Hekawi manual once. Finally, it may not quite make up for the oft-cited, one sided real estate deal in Manhattan twelve score ago, but Wild Eagle requests and receives a ten percent increase from O'Rourke's initial offer negotiating for Crazy Cat's culinary services for Minuit's aforementioned "bad treaty".

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Consistently funny, Too Many Cooks Spoil the Troop shows the upside of fresh minds getting a crack at a show's well established tropes. Burns and Marmer keep 'em coming fast enough that the groaners aren't intrusive, and the gags that hit give Storch, Diamond and Tucker a field day. Generous portion of laughs for our Privates as they react to a week's worth of starvation (Dudleson's deadpan line might be the best, in context). A rewatchable winner. (***1/2 out of four)