Life, Among Other Things

A post a day!

2012-02-28T10:33:00.000+05:30

I am really surprised to see blogs out there that post at least once every day. Blogging takes time and effort, and to take out time every day from one's schedule, I am sure, must be very difficult. Many people would say that blogging, especially blogging everyday, is for those who have a lot of free time on their hands, but to them I would say that if someone like Amitabh Bachchan can find time to blog every day, I am sure they can too.

Since this is more of a personal blog, and doesn't have too many readers, I have decided that I am going to try and write as often on this blog as possible. for a variety of reasons I can blog everyday, but what I can do is try to come as close to blogging everyday as possible, especially since writing for one hour every day is one of my New Year resolutions for 2012.

If by any chance you happen to drop by on this blog, please be kind enough to drop a comment.

How often do you blog?

Innocence, Lost!

2011-08-02T10:59:00.003+05:30

When we are born we are all sweet and simple.

Then, we start growing up.

As we begin the process of growing up, we start losing our innocence. We begin to believe that all that is sweet and simple is childish and needs to be done away with. In the beginning, an individual enjoys the process of growing up, especially the guilty pleasures that are associated with the first sins. With time, however, the pleasure aspect begins to diminish, and the guilt part becomes powerful until there comes a time when a deep yearning for return to innocence takes birth in the heart.

Along with the yearning for innocence, there is another voice in our hearts that tells us that it is too late.

"Innocence, once lost, can't be regained, you fool," the voice tells us, and we believe it.

The yearning for innocence is quickly overpowered by this other voice that tells us that we are doomed to live with this complicated and unforgiving life.

The choice, however, is always ours.

The innocence that we believe to be lost is never lost. It is always insides us, even if it is hidden under layers of "real-life advice" and "worldly wisdom" that we have acquired over the years. We can choose to uncover these layers, or we can choose to put more layers on it, so that it is lost forever.

What are you choosing?

(Image courtesy: andreyutzu from sxc.hu)

Back again!

2011-01-17T19:55:00.000+05:30

It has been such a long time since I have posted anything on this blog. Often and again, I have stopped blogging here, but soon I come running back to it. This is the first blog that I ever started, so I guess I have some kind of attachment to it - not very different from first love.

Every time I come back to this blog, I have different ideas for what I am going to write here.

This time however I am not going to think a lot, and just write whatever comes to my mind. Let us see how that goes.

Today is a "Present"

2010-03-10T12:00:00.004+05:30

Life has a way of continuously making us realise things. Most of the times, we are already aware of these things, but we conveniently choose to ignore them, until they come to stare us right in the face.

Yesterday, I was sitting at my desk, writing something, and all of a sudden I found myself searching for a word. A word that I could faintly recognize on the horizon, but couldn't clearly make out. It was a weird feeling. Quite like a dream, where you are being attacked and you want to scream, or hit back, or do anything at all, but you simply can't.

It was not the first time something like that had happened to me, and I am sure it must have happened to all of you too, when there is a word on the "tip of your tongue" but you just can't get it out. But, somehow, this time it felt different. It was as if I had lost an ability, a gift. I have always thought of words as something I could bank upon. When everything else would fail me, I was sure I could count on words. It seemed like I had lost one of my most trusted allies.
It was a scary feeling, and one that almost made me break out in cold sweat. What would I do if I lost the ability to write? Or, for that matter, what if I lost any ability that I have got so used to that I have begun to take it for granted. For example, what if I am not able to walk when I wake up tomorrow. It may sound implausible now, but going by the lifestyle we have come to adopt these days, we are prone to quite a few maladies that can severely hamper our lives.

So, in a matter of a few minutes my mind turned from a calm, serene ocean, into a whirlpool of unpleasant, scary emotions. There was no way I could get myself to do anything until I had dealt with these thoughts, once and for all.

The future, as they say, is uncertain and even the best laid plans can fail. This makes worrying about the future a futile exercise.

Que Sera Sera- What will be, will be.

Therefore instead of worrying about the future, it would serve our interests well, if we do whatever can be done today making the best use of all our faculties while we still are the masters of them. Tomorrow they may be there, or they might not, but we have them today, and we should make the best use of them. As they say, "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, but Today is a Gift. That is why it is called the Present."

With those thoughts, and a calm mind, I abandoned my search for the right word, and finished what I was writing using the words that I could come up with. After all they were what I had at that point in time, and I had to make the best use of them.

BYBS: Getting Hurt!

2010-01-11T08:57:00.006+05:30

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One of the last things that I thought I could be thankful for was getting hurt. There are times when someone says something, and you can't help but feel offended. Sometimes, you react immediately and tell the other person how you felt about what he, or she, said. At other times, you stay quiet but make a mental note of avoiding the other person as much as you can.

Something similar happened to me recently.

I was talking to a friend on the phone, and she said something that I thought was hurtful. I did not say much at the moment, though I did drop a hint about feeling hurt by what she said. I realised, however, that she had no idea about what it was that she had said to hurt me. In fact whatever she had said was in a matter of fact way, with no intention of being offensive. So, I tried to forget it, and let it go at that.

Later, however, I was thinking if I should have something to her, and I realised something. There must have been times when I must have hurt people without realising what I was doing. I like to believe that I am a frank person who doesn't mince words in telling people what he thinks about things. In my frankness, I am sure I must have said things to people which might have hurt them. Had I ever apologised for that? I don't think so.

By being hurt the other day, therefore, I realised two things:

1. Sometimes people don't mean to hurt you even if they eventually do. Before you form an opinion about them, you have to think carefully about whether they were meaning to be hurtful, or whether they said something that they believed was in your best interests.

2. Sometimes we say things that we believe are in the best interests of other people, but these things might actually hurt others, and they may even decide to stop being our friend.The solution lies not in hiding things, but in choosing your words carefully to ensure that the other person involved understands that you have his, or her, best interests at heart.

Have a great week ahead!

Fifteen Years Ago...

2010-01-07T13:27:00.001+05:30

We all like to believe that as we grow up we learn new things. If someone asks us, we accept unhesitatingly - with some pride even - that we made some mistakes, but we insist that these mistakes were necessary as they were an integral part of the learning process which makes us what we are today. If someone were to tell us that we have not learnt anything from our past mistakes, we are sure to take offence. To accept that we don't learn from our mistakes is to accept that we are not as smart as we like to think we are.

It might, however, be true. As much as we may want to believe that today we are better at living our lives than we were, say, fifteen, or twenty years ago, it might not be true. It is a possibility that we may just be living our lives without actually benefiting from the experience.

I say this because, recently, I came across this question: "If you were able to go back in time and get a few minutes to spend with the person you were fifteen years ago, what would you tell the young yourself?"

On the face of it, it seemed like a simple question, with answers that were not difficult at all. Wouldn't I have so much to tell a young me? Haven't I went through fifteen years in the meanwhile and experienced so many new things? I would share all that with him, so that he would not make the same mistakes as I did.

A little thought, however, disturbed me.

I realised that most of the things that I was going to tell him were things he already knew, and still, he made the mistakes that he did. In the last fifteen years I might have had different experiences, met new people, got a few degrees, etc. but did I really grow as an individual? Or, did I simply keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again?

Something tells me that the answer to the question is not something that I would like to hear. So, I am going to avoid the question for now.

What, however, I would like to do is to live my life in such a way that if fifteen years from now I get another chance to interact with the present me, I would not have such a tough time dispensing advice to me.

Who Am I?

2010-01-01T13:36:00.002+05:30

Another year has gone by.

With time I have felt that the years pass me by at a faster rate than they used to when I was younger. Some might say that this is merely a matter of perception, as time continues to flow at its own steady rate, and does not vary its pace for any reason whatsoever. This is no doubt true. But, then again, there are reasons why we feel that time runs faster as we grow up.

The main reason for the perception is simply the increase in the number of things we begin to do as we grow up. A one year old is content to spend all the time laying in bed - maybe he isn't, but he has no other option. No wonder to him time seems to stretch forever. As we grow up we learn to do things - sit, walk, play, make friends, read, fall in love, fall out of love, work - and pretty soon we have no time for anything at all. We always seem to be short of time, and, as a result, we keep wondering - where did the time go?

There is another reason (which has no basis other than my meandering thoughts), I feel, for the perception that time runs faster as we grow up. When a baby is newly born he has been on this planet for only a few seconds, and those seconds are his entire life. Every second of that life is important to him. As he grows up the number of seconds in his life keep increasing, and accordingly, the relative importance of each second in his life decreases. This is just a hypothetical argument, but it could be a reason why we feel that time is running faster as we grow up.

In 2009 I felt I was short of time, or that is what I told myself and those around me, who cared enough to ask. But, on hindsight, it was not the lack of time so much as it was the lack of proper management of time. There are so many things that a person can do with his, or her, time. The trick here lies in identifying the things you enjoy doing, and those that satisfy you.

There are a thousand books - or even more, I am sure - on time management out there. It would be too easy for me to say that they are totally useless, but they are not. They have their use. They will provide you with tips and tricks to manage your time. But all that will go in vain, unless and until, you make an attempt to know yourself.

Before making any attempts to make resolutions, or enhance the quality of your life, in 2010, it is important to ask yourself questions like : What do I want? Why am I doing this? Where do I want to be at the end of this year? You need to make sure that the resolutions you make are inspired by your needs, desires, and aspirations, and not by what is fashionable, or acceptable in society. I don't know about you, but I have found myself, and some of my friends, do things not because they wanted to, but because their friends, relatives, or parents wanted them to. These people are important parts of our lives, but they are not you!

I start 2010 with along list of resolutions. Some I will keep, and some I will not, but in 2010, I will make a sincere attempt to answer the question : Who Am I?

Will you?

The Right, The Wrong, and The Middle Path!

2009-11-26T12:25:00.002+05:30

Life is all about decisions. Every moment we are making one decision or another. Some of these decisions are big, life changing ones, while others are small, less significant decisions. For example, right now, you have the option of continuing to read this post, or click on the little cross button on the top right hand side of the web page. This small decision will affect, in the least, the next five minutes of your life.

Before you make a decision, you invariably weigh your options – either you choose the better of two goods, or as is more probable, the lesser of two evils.

But how do you define what is good, and what is bad.

However much we may like to claim that we are the masters of our own thought, the fact remains that our thoughts are a result of years of indoctrination of what the society believes to be right, or wrong. What is even more surprising is that most people who tell you the difference between right and wrong – and expect you to do right – themselves choose what might not be right, but, of course, they have a very good reason for it.

The most common being - Life is not black and white, but grey!

I am sure all of us have used that statement to get out of a tough spot, or justify a decision that we knew was not one of the best that we could have made.

So, what are we supposed to do?

Before I try to answer that, I will assume that most of us are aware of what is right and what is wrong. It is simply the enormity of the consequences of doing the right thing that makes us stray from that path. For example a kid may lie to his parents about his marks to avoid the scolding he might receive if he speaks the truth. It is just a small, but relevant example nonetheless.

Just like that kid, we are constantly deviating from the right track, to avoid unpleasant consequences. Then we find an excuse to justify our deviation. Sometimes the excuse is so good that we are convinced that what we did was the best possible course of action.

But these deviations, over the long run, lead to confusions. Since we have always justified our behaviour in the past, we are convinced that what we have done was right. We ask ourselves then, “What did I do to deserve this? Haven’t I always done the right thing?”

Maybe we haven’t. Maybe in our search for a middle path, we have taken the wrong path. It is not that there is not a middle path, but taking the middle path is actually harder than taking the right path, because the middle path is not defined, and each one of us must define that for ourselves. Before we can do that, we have to ensure that we have the capability to do so. We must not fool ourselves to believe that we have that capability, we must be sure that we have.

Till the time we have the capability, I say, it is best to choose the white, over the black and grey. What say you?

BYBS: Children's Day and Our Environment!

2009-11-14T11:11:00.008+05:30

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Two months and a day. That is how long it has been since I posted anything on this blog. Come to think of it, this is the longest blogging break I have had since I started blogging almost four years ago. In the last two months I have tried to write something on the blog, but for one reason or another I have managed to put it off. But, as those who know me well would know, it was only a matter of time before I got back to regular blogging, and here I am again.

And when I am getting back to blogging, what better subject to start with then Blogging my Blessings.

One of the things about my life I really like is living in the hills. Despite the recent developments that have converted our villages and towns into cities and mega cities, the hills have manged to retain some of the original beauty that nature had bestowed upon them in abundance. Living in the hills since my childhood, I have managed to stay in touch with nature and appreciate the bounties that nature holds for us.

Living in the hills means living in close harmony with nature. A picture they say is worth a thousand words. So, without using too many words to explain what I mean, I'll just show you a picture of the view from my window:
On the tree that you see in the picture, in addition to observing birds of many varieties, I have often spotted a monkey, or the occasional langoor.

This is when I am living in the capital town. When I was a kid, I lived in many smaller towns and villages, which were quite untouched by modernity. Living there was a great blessing as I got to see first hand what the poets of the past have tried to describe in the unforgettable lines they wrote. At the same time, knowing how things were once, makes you even sadder when you look at the way things are changing now.

In our quest for comfort and a better life, we are hurting the environment. The changes that are happening now are irreversible, but the good thing is that we still have time to stop these changes for the worse, and turn the wheel around. Mother nature has a way of forgiving us our transgressions, and if we learn our lessons even now and decide to repent, things can still be good, and our children can have a chance to be as close to nature as we were when we were kids. we owe the future generations at lest this much.

This Children's Day let us decide to make this world a better place for our children. What say you?

(To know more about Himachal Pradesh, the State I live in, and stay up to date with the latest happenings in the state, you could follow my friend's blog)

BYBS: Seek Not, And You Shall Find

2009-09-13T08:25:00.004+05:30

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It is, sometimes, hard to come up with ideas to write about. It is not that the mind runs out of ideas; the ideas just decide that they want to play hide and seek. As soon as you try to grab one of the them, it slips away into a dark corner. You don't mind because you are sure there are other ideas in there, but as soon as you turn around to hold on to any one of them, you find them all slipping and sliding away into the nooks and crannies of your brain.

You are left with an emptiness, which gets deeper with every attempt that you make to fill it.

What do you do now?

Well, I don't know about you. But, off late, I have developed a strategy. I have stopped trying to look for them. If they choose to hide, in stead of going after them, I let them be. Ideas, then, are not unlike mischievous children. When you scold them, or try to stop them from doing something, they will run all over the room. They will hide behind a sofa, or in an inaccessible corner of the room. They have fun teasing and taunting you. But the moment you start ignoring them, and begin doing your own work - pretending they don't even exist - the fun goes out of hiding. The children, now, will come to you, without you having to lift a finger.

Ideas, I feel, are similar. Don't try too hard, and your brain will be overflowing with them.

A good example of the above theory is today's post. As I began to write this post, I had no idea of what I was going to write. I searched my brain, and found nothing there save for an irritating emptiness. So, I just sat back and, without actually trying too hard, wrote this post. As for how good it is, I will let you be the judge.

However, to thank you for your patience with reading this post, I am going to leave you with this video, which, I guarantee, will make you smile:

BYBS : A Great Teacher

2009-09-06T06:47:00.007+05:30

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In India, September 5 is celebrated as Teacher's day to mark the birthday of the second President of India, Dr. Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan. Thankfully, its not a holiday - we already have too many of them to want any more - but on this day the regular schedule of the educational institutes is replaced by celebrations and special events.

One of the things that used to happen at our school was that the students of the senior-most class volunteered to teach the junior classes, while the teachers looked on. The time-table for the day was not changed, only the students replaced the teachers. When it was the turn of our class to teach, we were very excited and nervous. I chose to teach the subject that I had always liked - English.

I really don't remember what happened that day, but I do remember that I used to like my English teacher, and the way she taught us. So, I am sure, I must have tried to copy her style while taking the class. I had a great time, and I thought, then, that when I grow up I am going to be a teacher.

Though I never became a teacher, I still wonder that if I had become one, would I be as good as some of the teachers, who have taught me over the years, have been. Teachers have great power over their students, and they can lead the students to give their best. If you are able to find one such teacher, you can count yourself lucky.

Here is an example of what a great teacher can to his students:

BYBS: Those Who Took a Stand!

2009-08-30T12:24:00.002+05:30

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All of us, at some point of time or another, have been discriminated against by others or, like it or not, have held a prejudiced opinion about other people based on caste, colour, sex, creed, money etc. Often, these biases get so well ingrained in a person that they become like second nature.

Today, in spite of what the dooms day prophets might say, the world is a much better place than it was fifty years ago. Most countries of the world now have democratic systems which allow the principle of equality to thrive. These systems allow people to raise their voices if they perceive injustice being meted out to anyone.

It is, however, a fact - and a sad one - that a majority of us will still choose to ignore an act of discrimination, sometimes even when we ourselves are at the receiving end. We simply hope that in time this will go away too.

But, it won’t…unless someone acts.

We simply cannot imagine today what persecution people who stood up against any discrimination suffered, when society thought of the discrimination as the most natural thing. For example, when caste system was socially accepted in the Indian society, it would be suicide for any one from any caste to try and fight against the system. Similarly, I think, in the US when the discrimination based on colour was widely accepted, anyone- regardless of his colour- who raised his voice against the system, would be ruthlessly crushed.

Yet, people stood up for what they thought was right. These people did not care for what the society – their friends, relatives, peers – thought of them and their ideas. They knew that their cause was just and they were prepared to go to any length to fight for the cause. We remember many of these men and women as our heroes today, but many, I am sure, must have perished without anyone knowing of their sacrifice.

With today’s post I would like to thank everyone who has stood up for what is right, without worrying about what the others said. It is because of these people that we live in a world that has more respect for life, ideals, and values. I hope that more of us have the courage to stand up against anything wrong so that we can gift an even better world to our children.

Wishing you all a great week ahead!

BYBS : Weather!

2009-08-24T08:04:00.003+05:30

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Somethings are all around us, and yet we miss them. In fact, the reason we miss them is that they have always been there and we can't imagine a life without them.

One such thing is the weather.

Shimla, the town where I live at, has always had great weather. Its climate, I am sure, was one of the reasons that the British chose it for their Summer Capital of India. Living here for most of my life, I never stopped to appreciate the good weather we have almost all year around. For, the last one year, however, I lived at Delhi, and suffered the extreme temperatures there.

So, naturally, coming back this year I was more appreciative of the weather. For the last four days, especially, the weather has been simply out of the world. Clear blue skies, sunlight bathing the world with it's golden rays, a chill in the air...you get the picture. The picture seems perfect, but there is something wrong with it, something dreadfully wrong.

This is not the time for the weather to be like this.

The climate changes and global warming have silently taken charge of our environment over all these years. For a long time we, being so short sighted, failed to observe what we were doing to our environment. Now, Mother Nature seems to have decided that enough is enough, and we need to be given a warning in a more palpable form. The signs are now there for all of us to see. I am sure you must have also observed the change in weather wherever you live. Haven't you?

I think it is time for each one of us, as individuals, to take actions to save our planet. Not only for our children, but for ourselves too, because at the rate we are going it won't take long before things get really bad.

Let's all join hands, and make the change that we hope to see in the world!

BYBS : Smile

2009-08-16T09:05:00.003+05:30

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I read something interesting the other day, and I have been trying to implement it in my life ever since to test it for authenticity.

What I was reading was a book on destructive emotions, and how to deal with them. By choice, or not, all of us are affected by destructive emotions - like anger, craving, and delusion - at some point of time or another. More often than not we also regret our decisions made under the influence of any one of these destructive emotions. The answer lies in waiting before acting; we have been gifted with enough powers to ensure that we make the right choices, but for some reason we choose to act in haste, and repent in leisure.

The chapter that caught my attention, however, talked about how we feel any emotion only after the chemical reaction for it has been initiated in the brain, mostly involuntarily. We never realise what emotion we are feeling, until it has already begun. Then, the book went on to take the example of a smile.

When we sense something pleasant, we smile. That's a natural involuntary reaction. Most of the times we smile without actually making an effort to do so. This much is common knowledge. The chapter, further, went on to say that the reverse is also possible i.e. if we fake a smile, it can cause a chemical reaction in our brain that is the same as when there is something good happening around us. In short, even if we fake a smile, we will feel like smiling in a few minutes.

I thought, isn't that a good way to feel better when we are felling...not so good. Have you ever felt something like this happen to you? If not, try it, and you just might agree with what that book said. I know I do.

BYBS: Formalities

2009-08-09T10:37:00.004+05:30

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Last week, we celebrated Raksha Bandhan, popularly known as Rakhi, in India. It is a festival that celebrates the strong ties between brothers and sisters.

Usually, it is a day where people visit their families, spend time together, eat dinner, etc. I am sure you get the picture, because this is what people do all over the world on major holidays.

We had gone to my maternal uncle's place, where a few other friends and relatives had gathered for dinner. During the course of conversation One of the guests made a remark. She said, "These days everything has become a mere formality. Relations, festivals, ties, everything. We do them because we have got used to doing them, and they must be done. They actually don't mean anything."

As you can imagine, this line of thought made everyone a little uncomfortable, and no one wanted to continue this discussion over the dinner table. However, I found it hard - and I am sure there must have been others like me - to push the thought out of my head.

Was what we did on all major festivals a mere formality without any meaning whatsoever? If one person felt that way, I am sure there must be others who feel the same way. And what if it is a mere formality? Should such practices be abandoned entirely?

These questions bothered me for a while, but, then, I think I found an answer.

Whether such occasions become a formality, or not, depends, to a great extent, on the state of mind we are in. If we are happy we look forward to such occasions where we can share our happiness with others. At such times, the question of these days being a mere formality doesn't even arise in our minds. If, however, we are under a cloud, we tend to think that these occasions don't mean a thing and we just have to suffer them as something that must be done. But, even under such circumstances, without our realising, being with friends and relatives helps lift our spirits to a great extent.

So, formality or not, these days that come in our lives at regular intervals are a great blessing and, like most blessings, we tend to underrate them, what say you?

BYBS : Friendship Day!

2009-08-02T21:51:00.005+05:30

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Anyone who knows me, or reads this blog, knows that I am not a big fan of the trend of naming days after relationships. I believe that every day should be a day when we nurture our relationships, and remember our friend and relatives. My first reaction, therefore, on receiving the various friendship day messages and emails in the morning was one of irritation, and annoyance.

As the day progressed, I received some messages from friends who, I must admit, I had all but forgotten about. I couldn't help but wonder: How did that happen?

Sometimes, we think we believe in something, when we actually don't. We convince ourselves that we believe in it, and we have ourselves completely fooled. While going about the funny business of living our lives, we hardly get a chance to put ourselves, and our theories, to the test. Maybe a part of us doesn't want to take these tests, in case we fail. But, every once in a while, life will provide us with an opportunity to test our theories and, sometimes, the result may surprise us.

This happened to me today. I thought I was paying enough attention to all the friends in my life, but now I think I don't. In fact, I now think that our lives today have become so fast paced, that it is simply not possible to pay attention to all the aspects of our lives. We need to get our priorities straight, and try to do the best we can in the time that is given to us. The "best we can" is a relative phrase, and once again it provides us with an excuse. Wen we fail. we quickly say, " I tried to do the best I can, and yet..."

You can, perhaps, fool the whole world with that, but you can never fool yourself. When you haven't given it your best, you know it. Whatever you might tell others, you know you could have done more. However, I digress. We were talking about friendship day.

Whatever the reasons for the origin of this day might be, I am glad that today is friendship day. It made me think about all the friends in my life - from my early days to today. I am thankful to all of you for having helped me through all these years. I am sure I would not be what I am today, if it was not for you guys.

Wishing everyone a very happy friendship day.

I am posting a couple of videos from Bollywood movies that celebrate the spirit of friendship. Also, these are songs that I have always liked (especially the sad version of Yeh Dosti).

This is the sad version of the same song:

BYBS: The Darkest Hour

2009-07-28T17:22:00.003+05:30

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Like a plant that starts up in showers and sunshine and does not know which has best helped it to grow, it is difficult to say whether the hard things or the pleasant things did me the most good. ~ Lucy Larcom

I am posting this on a Tuesday, but since this post has to do with a blessing – although in a roundabout way – I am posting this under the BYB Sunday category.

Last week was another busy week for me during which I spent time with my parents, and a few family friends. We had something going on at home, and it took up most of the week. The week ended very well. But then, on Sunday, something happened that shouldn’t have happened, and was not expected to happen.

I can’t write in detail about the incident here, but it would be sufficient to say that the incident came like a dark cloud on the horizon of life.

For a while, I was sad and devastated. But, for some reason, I can’t stay in a sad state for a long time. I think it is only natural. No one can stay in one state of mind for any length of time. If you are happy today, you will be in a different mood tomorrow. If you are sad today, that will change too.

However, there is a huge difference between being happy and being sad. In a happy mood, it is easy to live in the present, and it is easy not to worry about the past, or the future.In a sad mood, one can’t live in the present, and one is forced to think of all the bad things that have happened in the past. Also, one looks toward the future with little hope of things getting any better. At the darkest hour, it seems that life is not worth living. Whatever direction we may look in, all we are able to see is despair.

However, even the darkest hour has to yield to light. Eventually, sadness has to take a backseat. And it doesn't take a lot to make that happen. All it takes is one happy thought; one happy memory.

The one thought makes us realize that things were not always bad. Since, they were not always bad, they will not always stay bad either. We consciously begin to think of why we are in a position that we are in at the moment, and what can be done to get out of that situation. We realize our mistakes and decide that we are not going to repeat them. We make a promise to ourselves to ensure that things improve. We know that they will because we will make sure that they do.

It is at this moment then that the dawn breaks.

BYBS : The Others

2009-07-19T22:49:00.004+05:30

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Most of us spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves. It is all about me, myself and I. The questions we ask ourselves are: How could I do this, how could I achieve that? What makes me happy? What would make me happy? In a lecture, I once attended, the speaker said something about intrinsic motivation being more important than the extrinsic one. Even a lot of inspirational books tell us that we are the most important thing in our lives. Everywhere around us we find cues that make us believe that our world revolves around us, or, at least, it should.

I am no one to disagree. It is an undeniable fact that we have to pay utmost attention to ourselves. So many people, and so many books, can not be wrong, can they?

But, for a moment, think of a world where the only living person is you. You pay all the attention to yourself that you deserve. You do all the things that you have ever wanted to do. You become all that you have ever wanted to be. But, will that leave you satisfied? Happy, perhaps?

If I was to hazard a guess, I would say it will not.

Like it or not, our happiness is inextricably linked with the happiness of others. Be it in material terms, or spiritual ones, we need others to share our achievements, our victories, our failures, our losses with. There are times when we need others to guide us, and there are times when we need to guide others. There are times when we need to take from others, and there are times when we need to give to others. During such times if we don't have the others, we feel incomplete, and our lives cease to have a lot of meaning.

So, when others are such an important part of our lives, why do we ignore them? Because somewhere we begin to believe that if we succeed, the others will have no option but to like us. We believe that our achievements will guarantee that the others will be there when we need them - for giving or taking, as that case may be. But, it does not always happen that way.

I don't mean to undermine the importance of focusing on self in any way. To be a member of a strong society, every member needs to be strong. But, with this post, I intend to make you focus on that other, who may be needing you today - when you don't need him - so that the other can be there for someone else, or even you, when the time comes.

BYBS : Food on the Plate

2009-07-12T22:22:00.005+05:30

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One thing I have never been any good at is cooking. Trust me, I have tried, and more than once.

The first time was when I was quite young. My parents were out of town, and I thought it would be a good idea to cook something at home instead of going out to eat. So, out came the utensils, and the cutlery, and the vegetables. I had seen people cook before, and it never seemed like a big deal. But, as they say, the devil is in the details. The tomatoes were too soft to cut with a knife. The onions brought tears to the eyes. The garlic was all but forgotten. And there were so many kinds of spices in the box, that I was not sure what to use. Eventually, I put in a little bit of each.

At the end, what was cooked looked delicious. I invited my younger brother to eat, and with great love and care I filled our plates. The food looked good, and I felt sure that he was going to love it. I waited for him to take the first morsel in, and prepared myself for a pat on the back. But, to my dismay, his face turned green and he all but threw up. I tasted the food, and I realised what the phrase "looks can deceive" meant. The food, that looked so good, tasted bad, very bad. Too little salt, too many spices. However, to a mother, no baby is ugly. Morsel after morsel, I swallowed the food, with a smile on my face. I went to the extent of telling my brother, "What's the matter with you. This is delicious."

Seeing me eating the food with such poise and grace, he ventured to taste it again. The result was the same for him. He thought I had gone crazy.

After that, I did not attempt to cook for a really long time. But, when I tried again, the results were the same. Each time I got a little better, but never good enough to cook a whole meal by myself.

So, today, when I found myself alone and hungry, I thought to myself : what now?

Lucky for me, in the kitchen, I found the two minute Maggi noodles, and bread to go with it. Not a wholesome meal, but a meal nonetheless.

I know that canned food, and ready to eat foods are not the best kind of foods. But for some, like me, they can be a real blessing.

To Err Is Human...

2009-07-10T07:52:00.004+05:30

I am not perfect. Far from it, I have more failings than your average guy. Yet - and I have said this in many of my earlier posts - I hope to get rid of these failings someday,and get as close to being perfect as I can. I think being perfect is achievable, and everyone should aim for it.

The biggest obstacle in achieving this comes from the society itself. The society wants us to be good, but when anyone starts becoming good, the society begins to get threatened by that person, and thus they begin to thwart his or her attempts in getting better. And when faced with the opposition of the society itself, most of us give up our attempts to become unique, and fall in line with what is generally accepted.

To take an example, let us consider the oft-quoted, and widely accepted, idiom: "To err is human, to forgive divine". I am sure all of us have used this phrase at one time or another.

I completely agree with the statement. But, I also think that this statement has a hidden meaning too, which stops us from improving ourselves.

When we make a mistake, we usually realise it. When we realise it, we get angry with ourselves for making the mistake. We are not happy that we made the mistake, and perhaps we would have been determined not to make that mistake ever again, but then we think, "To err is human...", and that is the end of all our troubles. For, aren't we human? If we are then making the mistake was just a normal thing, that was bound to happen. Wasn't it?

Similarly, we all know that forgiving someone is one of the hardest thing to do. I have still not forgiven a guy who I had a fight with in school, almost fifteen years ago. I am sure all of us have someone that we have not, or cannot, forgive. I am sure we try, but then we think,"To forgive is divine...". And who are we to try and claim to be divine.

What I have said above is merely an example of how the society has come to accept, and propagate, mediocrity. Instead of helping us trying to become the best we can, it makes us believe that we are good as we are, with all our weaknesses and faults. Now, I am not saying that there is an ideal, or a perfect being, that we all should try to follow or become like. All I am saying that we should be comfortable with ourselves, and our faults, but we should not get too comfortable and we should constantly strive to improve ourselves. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

What do you think?

BYBS :Coming Home

2009-07-05T08:38:00.005+05:30

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"If you come home as happy as you leave, you have had a good vacation."

The above quote seems quite apt. Most of the time, when our vacation ends we are so weary that we are happy simply to have come back home. When we embark on any new adventure, our spirits are high and we just want to leave our homes behind. Our home is the last place we want to be at such times.

But, somewhere along the journey, we begin to miss home. There are so many memories - sweet and bitter - associated with our home, that we begin to crave for another chance to be back there. Sometimes, it is easy to come back home. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, it is not possible to do so. But, in either case, the knowledge that somewhere there is a home, that we can return to if everything goes wrong, fills us with hope and courage.

In the Lord of The Rings, Frodo and Sam thought about their homes back in the Shire whenever they felt their mission was doomed. This thought filled them with hope and lifted their spirits. This thought also gave them courage, as it made them want to fight till their end to save the Shire.

In our lives too, having a home to come back to makes life so much more easier. We can go about living our lives, taking risks, doing new things, knowing fully well that if all else fails us we have a home to come back to.

BYBS: Looking

2009-06-14T15:16:00.003+05:30

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There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.

-J.R.R.Tolkien

Almost an year ago I took a chance - I took a break from my job, left the life I had been living for the past five years behind me, and joined a one year management course. I was definitely looking for something. Now, an year later, I am still looking, but the time left for looking has come to an end. In a few more days, the course will be over and I, in all likelihood, will be heading back to my old life.

So, was this a wastage of time?

This is a question I often ask myself. Would I have been better off if I had chosen not to look, and continued with my old life. When I discuss this question with my friends, I find that both sides have their supporters. Some of my friends feel that coming here was a mistake, while others feel that it was worth the time and trouble that it cost. One big factor for the disappointment is the current economic downturn that the world is facing. The recession has made it difficult for most people to find a job of their liking. So, most of us have to either go back to our old jobs, or take up a job that is less satisfying than the last job.

For me that is not a big factor. However, even I can't say that I found what I was looking for.

Yet, I am not disappointed. The reason is simple: While I was looking for the thing that I was trying to find - but couldn't find - I found many other things; things that I did not know I needed.

Today, as I was thinking of what to write, I chanced upon the above quote, and I thought how appropriate it was. Looking will always help you find something. Even if we take the quote in the most literal sense, I am sure all of us have examples of finding that long lost thing, when we were looking for those misplaced car keys. Have we not?

Looking, thus, is a great blessing. Let us hope that we never stop looking, at least not till we have found everything that can be found.

BYBS : All Things Simple

2009-05-25T00:34:00.003+05:30

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There are so many things that make our lives simple, but, because they have always been there, we take them for granted. If we sit down to think and make a list of such things, the list could very well be endless. From the shoes we wear to the hats we don, everything is a blessing. One thing protects us from the stones and the thorns that might lie in our way. The other thing protects us from the harsh sun and the dust.

Whenever we need these things, we reach out and grab them. We never pause for one moment to think that maybe these things will not be there. For us these things have always been there, and will always be there. So, why be grateful for them?

But the fact is there are so many people out there who do not have access to even the most basic amenities of life. The much talked about and Oscar winning movie, Slum Dog Millionaire, became a spectacular success because of the way it depicted the life in the slums of Mumbai.

Though I can not comment on the authenticity of the life the movie depicts, it is safe to say that even if half of the things shown in the movie were true then a majority of humanity is living in conditions that can at best be described as sub-optimal.

So, this week I am thankful for all the simple things that I have always taken for granted, and which form an integral part of my life.

What is the one thing that is important to you, but you have always taken it for granted?

The Curious Incident of a Lizard in My Bathroom

2009-05-23T00:38:00.002+05:30

I am an animal lover, and I am very sure about that fact. When I see an insect, or a reptile, on TV I marvel at, and appreciate, the beauty of mother nature. I love to see the animals going about doing their thing in their natural habitat. However, I am not so sure about my love for animals when they choose to abandon their natural habitat, and decide to enter my domain, my bathroom to be more precise. That, putting it in the most simplest terms, freaks me out.

But let me begin from the start. Yesterday, I came back to my room after a few games of Table Tennis (some might know the game as ping-pong). It is not a tiring game, but Delhi weather in May being what it is, I was sweating profusely. Uncomfortable as it was, it also made me look forward to a nice, cold shower.

I enter the bathroom, hang my towel and underwear on the rack, and then I let out, what I am pretty sure, was one of the loudest screams I have ever screamed. Of course there were some expletives thrown in, but those are best not repeated here. The reason for the scream was that just as I had hung up my towel, something had jumped out at me. For a moment I thought I was being attacked by an invisible force. I think watching too many episodes of LOST and HEROES can do that to a person.

However, I soon saw what had actually come out at me. It was the smallest lizard I had ever seen in my life; a baby lizard, I guess. Before I could think rationally, I had to ensure that the lizard was as far away from me as was possible within the confines of the small bathroom. That done, I had a good look at the lizard. Should I kill it? Should I throw it out? Should I let it be?

These were questions that sprung to my mind. Not surprisingly, I was reminded of the lines from D. H. Lawrence's poem Snake, "If you were not afraid, you would kill him!"

But unlike the hero in the poem, I am too kind, and I couldn't bear to kill the little thing. The fact that I was a bit scared of the lizard had nothing to do with my decision. If you think how anyone can be scared of a lizard, and that too a little one, I would only ask you to try and be with one in the confines of a bathroom, and that too a small one.

In the meanwhile, the lizard - as if reading my thoughts - started moving towards me. It was time for action.

I yelled, again.

It worked. The lizard quickly changed direction and tried to climb up one of the walls. I thought that it was good riddance as that wall had a window near the top. But, what is not meant to happen, does not happen. The baby lizard found it hard to cling on to the slippery wall.

I was praying for the lizard to get out, but it slipped and fell very close to my feet. I jumped, and I think some yelling was involved too. This time the lizard, instead of running in a different direction, came towards me. Maybe, it had decided to fight, rather than fly.

In some quick moves it came very close to me. I was standing there, waving my arms wildly, and making some sounds that can't be really described here for want of words. After a few seconds of arm waving, the lizard moved in the direction where lay my toothbrush, and paste, and soap, and shampoo, and conditioner and...well you get the picture.

I knew that if I saw a lizard walking over my stuff with my own eyes, I would have to throw all of that stuff out. That lizard was going to cost me quite a lot.

Now, money is a strange thing. It tends to strangle whatever slivers of kindness and ethics one has. It has the same effect on me. I decided that I had to kill that little devil.

But, when I looked around, I found that there was nothing around that I could use to kill the beast. Brave as I had suddenly become, I still could not imagine myself killing a lizard with my bare hands. Doesn't their tail fall off, or something. That thought by itself was enough to gross me out. Somehow I made my legs move in the direction of the lizard, and that had a magical effect.

The lizard scrambled away, faster than I had seen it move in all evening. It ran quickly, and fear , it seemed, helped it in climbing the wall this time. It climbed up to a safe distance. It did not go out, but it seemed to me that it had managed to reach a safe height - a height from where she could not hurt me. After observing it for some time, I decided that it had given up all intentions of attacking me. I decided to go ahead and take my shower.

All the while I was showering, my eyes were focused on the lizard. It was moving all the time, but thankfully it stayed at a safe distance. After I was done, I quietly stepped out and locked the door behind me. I had made sure that the thing did not come close to any of my stuff, before I stepped out.

I went out and had my dinner, but all the while I was thinking about the lizard in my bathroom. The food had lost its taste, and the after-dinner walk had to be cut short. I quickly came back to my room and carefully stepped into the bathroom. But the lizard was no where to be found. I checked everywhere, but the coast seemed to be clear. I was glad, but it also made me wonder where the thing had gone. Where would it turn up next?

I didn't have long to wonder for as I stepped on to the balcony, I saw it lazing on the outer wall. It made me smile as now I did not have to worry about a lizard showing up in my bed. The lizard seemed to be smiling too. I wondered if that was because it had seen me naked!

BYBS : Time Flies or What?

2009-05-17T22:58:00.003+05:30

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They say that time flies. Indeed it does.

I can very well remember the time when I was young. I believed that anything and everything was possible. Ghosts, fairies, miracles, angels, Santa Claus, anything.

Didn't we all believe at some point of time in our lives?

Then I began to grow up and realised that everything was not possible. Yet, the level of belief was still high. I still believed that most things in the world were possible. Then I grew up some more, and the full extent of the things that were possible - and that were not - dawned upon me.

Last week marked another mile stone in my life. I turned twenty-nine.

When I was young - about 12 or 13 - 29 seemed like an really old age, but now that I have reached that age myself, 29 doesn't seem that old at all. Age, I guess, is just a number after all.

Birthdays, however, are important days in our lives. Not only do they remind us of passing time, they also help us in breaking our lives down into manageable time periods, where we can set targets for ourselves, achieve them, and move on.

But it does not always happen that we are able to achieve all the targets that we set for ourselves. We might have a tendency to keep on doing what we had set out to do, even after we have failed at doing it a few times. Birthdays remind us that we do not have all the time in the world, that we need to rethink, and re-focus, and re-figure our goals.

So, this year, I have made a few changes to my goals and targets too. Let's hope that I am able to achieve them.

What do birthdays mean to you?