Fred Sketches

ART WORK

2011-04-07T16:52:00.000-07:00

This is a design i recently did for....wait for it. Fishing.
but i really like it, mix of photo's texture and designs. anyway.

I'll do my own like button. LIKE.

Swiping the Tiny Giraffe: Opulence is mine!

2011-04-02T17:01:00.000-07:00

You've seen the direct TV commercials and so have I and like you, I also yearned to capture my own tiny giraffe. I searched all over, but no pet store carried them. I tried the black market and still had no leads as to how I would acquire such an amazing specimen. Finally I decided that the only way was to break into the guy from the commercial's heavily guarded home and take what should have been mine from the beginning. Now I too have opulence. oh the sweet sweet opulence... cleaning the tiny giraffe poop sucks and I'm not sure what they eat so I gave it my bonsai tree as that is also tiny. Hopefully opulence lives. oh yeah, I named the giraffe opulence.

Missing Cobra found in South Beach

2011-04-01T13:45:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I was super bummed when they found the cobra still in the zoo. I mean, it could have gone anywhere. It could have gone to a movie theater and slithered across the screen during the big action scene or made it's way on to the Trading floor right before the day closed causing mass chaos. What a let down. I like to think the snake found it's way down to South beach and is sucking down a martini. Then we could make a made for T.V. movie of the snakes daring adventure. Wouldn't that be something?

I Adopted a Plant.

2011-03-25T06:34:00.000-07:00

It's an older adoption, but a good one. Just because it's older doesn't mean that it won't get to know me or some day call me dada.. I think I can still have a positive influence in it's life. I think I will also put googley eyes on it so I can know where I stand with it. Don't turn your back on a plant..

IQ TEN POINTS HIGHER THAN EINSTEIN

2011-03-25T05:46:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I loveee reading about quantum physics and all the workings of our crazy universe and while I hesitate to post stuff about that fearing people wouldn't care or it would be too complicated for my stupid posts, this topic fills both needs. A kid with Asperger's syndrome is the new rising star in quantum phsyics. An honest to goodness Doogie Howser, but with a cooler job..... I can't wait to see what this "kid" comes up with. He's 12 people. 12. Imagine what he'll be doing in just a couple of years.

The reason for the cat? It's one of the cooler theories in quantum physics... Schrodinger's cat theory...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger's_cat

Here is the INDYSTAR LINK.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2011103200369

SNOW IN LATE MARCH?

2011-03-23T09:12:00.000-07:00

Holy Hell!, It's almost april.. It IS spring. Why in God's name is it white outside? I think it's global warming... on a side note, they should rename global warming to global chaos or global weather confusion. I think more people would be on board with the theory renamed because people don't understand that it works both ways. Anyway I disgres. I don't give a shit what this craziness is called I just want it to stop. To explain the picture. Maybe this is why the dino's are extinct. They were fooled by the shorts weather last week and are thus ill prepared for today's occurrence. Maybe?...

PAUL MCCARTNEY LIVES LIKE A ROCK STAR. U CAN TOO?

2011-03-22T05:55:00.000-07:00

I have some friends, I won't say who, but they are always going out to fancy restaurants ordering appetizers that only feed one person and dining on fancy wines with names I can't pronounce. I think everyone has these friends with a seemingly unlimited amount to spend on these luxuries. Maybe the money tree my dad used to talk about is a real thing or maybe my friends have a secret paper route or are secret agent couples that are normal people by day and are fighting the seeding underbellies at night. I tried to have this lifestyle 10 years ago when I was single and it STILL didn't work. I would eat and drink like a rock star for one night and live like I was homeless till the next paycheck. I asked said friend what his secrect was and I'm not going to bore you with the answer, but it wasn't satisfactory.... I guess I'm just jealous, I was never good at fund management, but I feel like even if I was.... sigh.

MOUSE LIKE STRENGTH

2011-03-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again folks. It's getting warmer out, we have a little more sunlight. A renewal of drive to get back to the gym and get in shape. For most, this is an off on thing, some of you are very driven and do not waiver...For me this is a year and half long struggle. After my kid was born I had zero time to get back to the gym andddd I'm paying for it. I have the strength of church mouse. I find myself flashing back to high school and that's never a good thing. I've regressed so much I'm nervous to do free weights in the event that I embarras myself and get trapped under a bar bell or something. anyway... hopefully a couple months from now we can all laugh at this and say remember when.

Artists get the Shaft

2011-03-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

Are you listening Microsoft, Google, Apple and whomever else is getting into the tablet market. I Want a Fucking Pressure sensitive Pen for which to actually make stuff which is the opposite of what you can do on these cursed devices. I have a little piggy bank with dollars and quarters all ready to go when one of these things comes on the market. HTC is coming out with a little 7 inch one, but it really doesn't look like it has pressure sensitivity and ASUS has one, but it's odd. Why is this such a huge task for them to do? Part the way the screens and recognition software is made.... and PART because the people who are begging for this device are few and far between. It's a nitche market to be sure but a necessary one. A pen is a very natural input device and I want it the hell back... Everyone's so obsessed with the multi touch bullshit and it's all novelty. I just want a pretty UI an art program/pen and leave me alone. I guarantee it'll fly off the shelves if you have both types of input. Sooooo. If you people are listening. I would like this for xmas. Thank you.

Charlie Sheen: Crazy?

2011-03-15T05:32:00.000-07:00

I've been following the Charlie story since it broke and I have to say the only thing that I thought was crossing the line is when he made fun of John Cryer. The other parts of the story I find harder to find anything wrong with them.. YESSssss there is the crazy drug use and porn stars, but to each their own I think... If he wants to kill himself that way then so be it. I do think he shouldn't be taking care of children, THIS is how to screw up kids.. although I'm sure the boys don't mind the porn stars being around.. Why did he attack John? This truly ruined it for me. Not Winning Charlie, not winning. A couple of fun articles and video's came out of this that charlie wasn't even in.

Article by Alex Baldwin.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alec-baldwin/alec-baldwin-charlie-sheen_b_834847.html

John Cryers response to Charlie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6tQz6UBu8k

CLIPPING THE FINS

2011-03-14T05:58:00.000-07:00

Short story, we bought a fish for Silas because Nicki won't let me have a kitten. :) This is going to get me in trouble, but I feel it's necessary to the story. So.... anyways, we got a starter fish because I didn't want a goldfish and we don't have a big enough apartment for koi. Starter fish = beta fish. Really beautiful, but likes to fight so you have to have them in separate tanks. They're easy to take care of because they don't require a lot of food or care. Now, just because something doesn't "require" a lot of care doesn't mean you shouldn't give it to them. They(pet store) want you to buy a tiny tank for this poor fish like it's decoration. They even sell them with a wall mount. Bottom line is I feel bad for the little dude(Petey).. He likes to fight so we isolate him. He's pretty so we limit his movement. I feel bad just writing this blog. Gdamn... I think I might be heading to the pet store after work. sigh...

THE BIRDS

2011-03-04T13:57:00.000-08:00

I like angry birds.. I have had the game erased on me 3 times so I'm not that far into it, but if you ask my wife I think she'd say birds aside, Fred's on his phone a lot and I am. I admit it. It's tough to quit, I'm constantly looking for the final answer to tech. I don't know what that is, but I'm looking. Maybe it's just the quest for the next great thing that makes it fun. I don't know... it's the end of the day and I'm fried. BYe bye.

Patting our belly

2011-03-04T08:36:00.000-08:00

My little dude has become obsessed with sticking out his belly and patting it. He seems so proud of his belly and it has me thinking maybe we all should be a little bit more proud of our bellies. In the Czech Republic I was told the Men are super proud of their guts. I'm not sure if I was lied to or not, but it's something.

Hindsight IS 20/20

2011-03-03T13:27:00.001-08:00

So I'm driving to work the other day and it's around 7:56... so naturally I'm stuck in gridlock down a side street as I try to avoid some lights. I see this guy who has taken his dog out to do his business and this dog was the biggest one I've ever seen. EVER... Like a marmaduke dog. I just looked quickly and couldn't miss the fact that it was taking the biggest dump I've seen from a dog. You would expect this though since the dog was so Gdamn big. Bottom line is I can't immagine picking up person or bigger sized shit a couple times a day just to have this dog. I think that's one of the things you would think about before buying a massive pup. Thought of the day.

MY BUG

2011-03-03T07:02:00.000-08:00

This is a post. there might be more, there might not...

Misleading our Youth

2010-09-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

There are animals out there who are very dangerous and yet we draw cute cartoons of them and little kids learn to make their growl or imitate how they behave and we don't sit down and tell the kids that a bear can and will rip your F@#% head right off. Don't try to pet them or growl at them... We should be teaching our kids that dogs aren't always friendly and most things under the sea are in a better position to end you while you are swimming. Just saying.

HALLOWEEN SQUATTERS

2010-09-24T05:59:00.000-07:00

I passed a newly stocked halloween costume store and it brought warmth and joy to my heart. This is not because I have some great fondness for halloween, but love the stores. They're like homeless people wandering into abandoned apartments or deserted store fronts and setting up shop. It's seriously the only holiday that has this type of phenomenon. Most Christmas stores I've seen are year round. Halloween stores put up a sign, dress some poor kid in a stuffy clown costume to advertise, and arrange their costumes on racks. Done. I love it.

IDEA FROM A BABBLE

2010-09-23T08:26:00.000-07:00

Okay Nickelodeon and Disney and whomever wants to pick up my Sunday morning cartoon. Here it is. RaRaRoo! My baby was babbling and I heard him say that and thought that would be a great idea for a cartoon. I'm not sure the storyline though. maybe like the movie UHF but with the kangaroo as the host. Kind of dumb witted? any ideas you have for the storyline might help the execs buy the concept. You will not be paid for your ideas. It was my kids idea. You like stealing money and food from the mouth of a child? Monster. Thanks in advance for your story lines!

Cold Medicine

2010-09-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

I've been sick so stop yar yappin. Dayquil's been running my life for the last couple days and not effectively might I add. I can barely construct sentences, my sinus' are super sensitive and I feel like I have make apologetic calls the next morning like I would have to if I were hammered the night before and said some shit I shouldn't have. In closing, Sudafed is like putting a bandaid on a gangreen. not the best solution.

THE YOUNG SAMURAI

2010-09-16T08:45:00.000-07:00

These are four of the reasons that lead me to believe that my son is a reincarnated Samurai. He obviously has the body for it, a. B. For his shape he is extremely flexible and does daily stretching to keep in peak physical condition. C. He has a zen stare and keen observation skills both of which are important. D. He keeps decapitating his Hippo toy and I see this as a long forgotten lust for blood from the days of warriors. Or. maybe I'm just a proud dad. ....I say the first one.

Snooki thumb

2010-09-15T06:02:00.000-07:00

I can't really take credit for this concept. www.wwtdd.com commented on some pictures of Snooki being arrested for being a drunken mess and said at best she looked like someone drew a face on a thumb. I thought this was hilarious and wanted to try and illustrate it. Let me just say that I have strong feelings for the Jersey Shore show and they are not positive. I grew up on the Jersey Shore my entire life and never saw more than a handful of the type of people that are featured on that show or housewives of New Jersey for that matter. It misrepresents what New Jersey is all about which is Malls, Diners, and Astronomically high property taxes... oh and I guess the mob too.

TOILET TOSS

2010-09-13T12:12:00.000-07:00

I was at a church sponsored fair in middle america, PA with no more than 5 games and 6 rides. That said, it was fun and the rides looked decent though I would never go on rides from a traveling fair that was this small. Too many things to not trust about it. We were there 5 minutes before I saw it. This picture says it all. Well almost all, you can't see it in the picture, but the rolls were like a dirty yellowish color. I don't know if this was part of the charm of the game or what. Let me ask you, is this game in most fairs? I ask this because I rarely frequent them.

FINDING OUT THE HARD WAY

2010-09-13T11:43:00.001-07:00

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a butt dial or someone stays on the phone instead of hanging up? I worry about what I say after I hang up with anyone fearing I might say something to get me in trouble or offend someone.... When I've been dialed unintentionally I keep waiting for the other person to say something bad about me or something that pertains directly to me even though they didn't mean to dial my number. I know that's paranoid, but I think the odds are that it WILL eventually happen. In the news some kid accidentally dialed the police looking for weed. It's like karma via the butt-dial. In this drawing, the cat gets accidentally dialed and might just be hearing the end of a conversation thinking he's "going to the farm" so to speak. I think he just heard it wrong. Relax buddy.

SpongeBob and Patrick

2010-09-13T07:36:00.001-07:00

Spongebob Illustration I did for a friend of mine's little girl. Not really much else to say... enjoy

Miles of Traffic

2010-09-10T09:16:00.000-07:00

Don't you just sometimes want to plow into the traffic ahead of you. This is how I felt on Wednesday and I'm guess how some of you are going to feel today. There is almost no other cause to turn a perfectly sane man into a crazed raging lunatic. Enjoy.