I am Bjork’s yin. Platinum Bjork. I’d love to be in a video of hers. HUGE fan. I knew this was my dress from just loading the website before we even got there. These are emu feathers by the way.

This is quite a high-end dress. There is a thing called dress insurance thank god for that.

Shannon said we were heaven and hell. Finally I get to be the good girl.

Being dressed is awesome. Considering I’ll have to buy some outfits for Valentine Vamps.

She has better ones tell her to hurry up and get me them.

We are both size 2s. After this weekend we will see if that will still be the case lol. Hibernating!

I only tried on two dresses. I was fast.

I’m so blown away by it haha.

#hatersgonnahate.

So small may as well be a tie.

I could have tried on everything but I knew the white was the one. Dream dress.

And all the dates are sponsored too, tickets to leafs game, $150 on dinner at a nice joint. I don’t care take me to the moon.

Shankell is wicked.

You fill that out very well babe. I wanted this one, didn’t try it on cos blabbity blah WHITE DRESS. But this pink one is SO Raymi right. When did I ever start talking like this ew.

This was really a lot of fun.

We get to try them on in these tents, so fun. I made bird calls to get their attention to help zip/unzip me. I am funny. DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Someone was having difficulty raffling his girlfriend off and I was having just about enough of it lol seen here. We made up at Mildred’s Temple, got polluted, fought again, then I went out aaaall night long ah heheh. We are cool now don’t worry, can you imagine dating me? I get it. It was Bechnique’s actual birthday and you are a crappy friend if you bail on that stuff.

I am about to lose my cool here.

Go have a time out in the wino section thank you very much RFR! That’s my dress on the flyer there. I can barely bend over in it please don’t make me pick up a pencil or tie your shoe. Pfft as if, people tie MY shoes.

Dude where is unit 35?

Some of these as well of course.

OK sit ups and jersey shore time bye bye almost through winter.

Valentine Vamp stamps!

This dress is amazing. Many thanks to Rent Frock Repeat for upping the sexy swan ante for Raymeh and #loveaheart. Feb 9 at the Hideout, come bid on me!

This is what a date with the Minx is like Ready, set, go.

And Happy Birthdayte Bechnique while I am at it! Here is your present.

It’s the ORHMA: Ontario Resorts and Hotels Restaurant Awards Gala. That is Tony and I, he is on the board, I was his date! Baha kidding, Muffy was his date. Yes that is her name.

What the hell were we talking about here? Lots of people watching and colleague said you are creating a sensation. Glad I wore that dress I guess.

Oh look it’s me! See how I have spy espionage on me at all events, creepy right? Creeps. Meanwhile I’m walking around like a spanish dancer slut hahaha nice wicked your hero is the best like a poor man’s Angelina Jolie Mr. and Mrs Smith ball spy scene ahh gad dream job.

We will be having a burlesque show here. Steffan and I are becoming buddies whether he likes it or not (not that I have time for friends anyway) I gave him a hug and said thank you for everything you have ever done for me awww. Then we talked party talk, both lifestyle and future. I will be rehearsing tonight and then every single day until FEBRUARY ELEVENTH. AT THE BOVINE. 9PM. Flyer coming later. It will be packed. It’s a Singles Mixer too so if no one has girlfriends or boyfriends come get laid get wasted, heck I know I was practically suicidal last year so I feel for you and I want to party with you. Teacher will also be on deck polluted to cope with his stripping girlfriend who does weird shit in public for attention and then everybody makes fun of it together afterward. Like Hot Rod. We watched it on the weekend or yesterday which was a mini-weekend mid-week spike cos someone else “was sick” yesterday. Blaha.

My godmother said I am looking pale. Take me away then . Omg please do put me on a rocket ship the heck out of here. I need a winter holiday. Do I look like shit here? I think so whatever I was a bit stressed about MTV but we gave’r boy did we ever. Ps. Lois I thought this was supposed to be today and I wanted extra tickets for you and my mom fyi before she starts mouthing off about why she wasn’t invited. Birthday treat for Bechnique too.

This went to charity. It is massive. MASSIV. MASSIF!

Obvi.

That dude’s white hair is awesome what are you a scientist? Some rich eccentric, I like it. Those guys who secretly do blow and then stare into the room like it’s a galaxy before them. I can’t remember if there were any ascots.

The weather is why I wore these dumb shoes, too slushy to wear open toe burlesque heels and I didn’t feel like trying to be a barbie in my guess stilettos, too obnoxious.

I wonder what made everyone sick. I cannot tell you how immensely relieved by having dodged that particular bullet. Oy vey I would lose my goddamn mind.

Yeah ok cool story there bro.

You can see me beside Kernel Sander’s head.

I did not want to talk business but at the champagne station Bechnique went and came back and said someone wants to talk to you ugh thanks! I blundered my way through this awkwardly and was like just check it out. I gave them my only card and Bechnique was like SEE I should be your manager. She just wants to boss me around haha yeah dude, colleague has owed me new cards for a month now.

After awhile I was like THIS IS AN AWESOME CRUISE SHIP THAT I AM IN THE BELLY OF. Originally our VDay show was going to be here but it was too early to get it together. No matter, next time!

We were the cool dudes standing around at all times, except hot girls. With a personal photog. I felt famous but I was not ready for it, I liked it and I was like getting totally gong-showed in honour of my new favourite idol Frankie of Celebrity Big Brother. Blond hair, check. Loud red dress, Check. Partner in crime, check. Have to leave to go watch myself on MTV, check. Ahah fucking asshole!

I am a spanish ice dancer.

Where is the vodka? HAHAhahah No seriously, where is it? I don’t even remember if we got any. This was a weddingless wedding! Open bar, classy reception, holla! Wish we could have stayed longer.

It took three people to make our drinks. Kidding! People relax!

You said it bottle of sparkling! Give me some more of these please. Delicious.

I am getting cut eye. TYPICAL!

I had Yogurty’s for lunch/dinner is one reason why we passed on eating. The second reason is I have a Burlesque show on the horizon. I ate crap all day long yesterday though to make up for it don’t worry.

He was the city councillor at our table in place of the mayor. I have his card. It has brail on it. I made a dumb joke and said blind people read my blog ahah (they do it’s true) then he went away then he was on stage and then I was momentarily proud of him and completely buzzed like hey that guy we talked to in line is doing something look honey. I could only tell him apart from all the other old white haired rich guys from his tie. Dude if I were an old white dude I would be wearing an ascot. It works.

This was the alleged sensation we did you proud mes amis. I just stand there and people go bananas! Do you want me at and to cover your next function? raymiATraymitheminx.com I also have a hot single mom that dudes fall in love with and go googly-eyed for and an entire crew of cougs at my disposal .

They gave 10k to George Brown.

It was a jolly fuckin good time. Peace!

Presidential. Someone also said I was jiggly AHAH RIGHT! You wish baby.

Jokester. Many hats.

Gotta bounce though!

Cos I am on tv!

I was the deciding determining vote in Tommy Hollywood winning, swayed it! Could have gone him or Erik obvi but I was like I dunno, Jersey Shore is popular for a reason guys. He’s polished too blabbity blah.

Mom you were awesome and nice jugs.

I’ll post the clip with my mom soon for the americans and uk and elsewhere fans. Wearing a Valentine K sweater, holla!

Omg dying hahaha Bye for now be back soon!

Faaaaaaaaabulous.

REGRESSION! The younger you act the older you get the younger you look. I am taking a peewee herman approach to things (minus that one incident minor career hiccup of course) now that I have fallen on to his twitter page, he tweeted about doing homework and Velociraptors dropping bananas on his head. Hilarious! He also looks like my (still living) papa in his suit I love it. Yogurty’s can you sponsor me to go party with PeeWee Herman thanks. Actually I got totally intimidated by his feed. He’s a genius. Yes I know that’s not his real name. Sidenote: I got a pee wee doll for christmas at age 4, comedian from day one. Ok more peewee talk later. I promise.

DAVE’S NOT HERE MAN!

White chocolate is the best one. So good. Eating the creation in the freezer later on will certainly be interesting. Not this one though it lasted under a few minutes I stuffed it in my mouth so fast while listening to Lisa talk a million miles a minute. Speed sugar vortex in a futuristic hello kitty bubble during the winter blahs was a very nice girl date. Especially because I go outside never.

Hot sweater Lisa!

Free adorabz buttons. It was like they were listening to my obvious requests or like, paying attention to my VITAL needs or something (from past posts lol). Love you Yogurty’s! You guys are sprouting up everywhere.

Hot asian bad girl (actually super good girl) everybody wins.

I pretended to sneeze on the sneeze guard. NO LAUGHS! Just kidding. TOTAL Laughs.

Lisa and I ate Yogurt for happy hour lunch yesterday. I hoovered mine instantly, it was delicious and I took some more to go. I’ve some other stuff to attend to at the moment so our girl date post will be coming soon. Blogger’s promise*.

*Blogger’s promises bear no guarantee on timing, they happen when they happen.

Loved catching up with you babe. Ps. Every weekday from 11-5 is 50% off Yogurty’s happy hour.

And here is a deal frenzy deal $6 for $12 Worth of Self-Serve Frozen Yogurt at Yogurty’s (multiple locations) if you can’t make it between those hours or wanted to go on a weekend and like saving money. I was shocked when our tubs only came to $11 I thought my hotness got it half off haha turns out, no, you do not have to be hot to get 50% off lol. This is how it looks today! Neat!

In my next post watch me eat a peanut butter cup bigger than Lisa’s head!

What are my fingers doing?

These frozen will be so amazing in the summer time. At one of my fav tiki rooftop patio places during summer they have frozen grapes for when you are sweating in to your clothes tanning on the patio ahh glorious summer GET HERE. Can’t wait to cut the inaug grand opening red ribbon on your Libville locayshe it’s my hood after all.

Thank god for happy hour, cos my hotness certainly wasn’t a determining factor this day in our savings. It was out taking a wizz sorry Yogurty’s big wigs! xo your pal RLW ESQ.

Nice catalogue stance and stupid pants much? I wear them once a year and feel like Garth Algar combined with hair and acid wash. Kay more later! Happy whatever day this is!

Bringing back Myspace.

Come over for a photoshoot here! Ha.

This view of old world carpet factory inspires and motivates me. It has magical properties!

This is from last week at some point. I have no idea. I am recovering from the stress-induced necessity of a bender in anticipation of (my entire life) what Creeps might have been, then I put my foot on the gas and accelerated it because it went from NAHHHHHH to YAAAAAAAAAAH! So, what day is this? It was Friday probably.

And I only fuck that up because we use Teach’s phone and my phone is like 2000 pictures of events stapled together (that you have already seen) in a pile of black hole party time excellency on my blackberry. Not complaining it’s just that my years of hard work are paying off? I don’t care anymore. Maybe a bit of both. When some n00b wanders in here going off about my half assed shitty blog I just go oh yeah, well numbers don’t lie and I looked around the web and all I saw are tumblrs full of ADHD none of this wordsmithy garbage that is pleasing to the brain, the cabin fever, the narcissism that they can depend on daily. Wit. I got a lot of friends and a lot of foes in my field and my friends are doing well and my foes can keep stroking their can’t hold a candle to it low ranking websites til the boring comes home. It did and they do.

It’s not that you’re mean or proud of it, it’s that you’re dull and no one cares as much about you as they do about me. Suh-orry. They say that when people talk shit about you it’s because they are jealous (Bill Murray says that in Life Aquatic) then Owen Wilson passes him his diamond earring back and helps him off the floor. He then says “but it still hurts.” (Something to that effect). They overhear some critics in the next room bashing his film. At the end of the day, he wins, is a loveable dude. People put up a fight when the war is already won, when they know they’re beat.

Ok new direction. I have to do ma face for a blogvertorial soon. When I ramble it’s cos I am avoiding something. Namely having to get up off my ass in under an hour.

These shorts used to be fat jeans, from h&m, a thousand years ago when I first ever ballooned up. Now they are perfectly shrunk and worn in like they were starched. No belt necessary I wore them like I was going to return them. I have been doing the tights and shorts thing for forever I could give a fuck. No bra either, flat lithe model ballerina day.

I have been thinking about going darker A LOT lately. Casie I need to borrow your wig for Valentine Vamps, kay?

This one.

Have to get the top for these now.

They starred in my last xmas show. There’s one pic I love. I’ll go get it.

Totally gotta go now though. BYE!

Great style dude lets make out!

I look like Duncan!

Thai delivery and tv. Inhaled the tv with my eyes too this day. Frat boy couch life 4 life!

We have a show at the Bovine Sex Club Saturday February 11th Doors at 9. HERE IS THE FACEBOOK EVENT It’s also a Singles Mixer so you can go in a crew. I’ll be auctioned off two days prior for love a heart and this will be a perfect V-Day week bender, non? Lots more to confirm and share yet, very exciting shit!

Will you be my Vampentine SAT FEB 11?

Girls on deck:

PASTEL SUPERNOVA, BUNNY ANGORA, RAYMI THE MINX, MARI JUANA, RED ZEPPELIN, ROUGE LA ROUGE, CHOW MEIN & BECHNIQUE.

Fierce.

As well, there will be my cast of VIPLEASE PLAYERS CLUB BACHELORETTES mingling about doin’ their thing. Celebrate Saint Valentine in style with all your friends in one big giant horny obscene mobscene. All shows are legendary. Guaranteed. Bring the boys and watch the girls! Bring the boys and find a girl, bring the girl and watch her ease in to a sexy alter-ego of her former conservative self. Cabarets are always heart warming and work magic over your lady pants parts.

See you soon, I’ve got a show to prepare!

There will be an MC and he WILL be FUNNY. And famous!

SAT FEB 11 DOORS 9PM BOVINE SEX CLUB
TELL EVERYONE.

XO RLW.

If you cut through eaton center you can save like five bucks off your cab ride back to the west end (girls!) also, I love empty malls at night, wide open spaces and maybe only a hobo or two mingling or tramping about. I really want to hit the underground path sometime this week for an adventure, starting at marche (their bar opens at 11am lol this is a Saturdate idea) eat then hit the weird wacky world of the under city. This kind of activity is how I got my ears pierced finally, last year. I have been doing my gender backwards for a long time.

Ugh January, longest month ever. Everyone I know is just trying to get through it. This is the crappy kind of weather when people try to shush you about summer ending, THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE was what I was talking about stupid. Meanwhile look at you, your wrists are slashed so stfu next time thanks!

+++

Hi Raymi!!

Talk to you soon
Ramona

PUMPED.

This is what I did during the day before I went to MTV’s taping of Creeps. Polar opposite, that’s how I do.

Ready for the MTV spin-off reality show, hipsters in Disneyland?

OMFG I would so watch that show if it was an actual show. I am 28. Still have never been to DLand. Help me go! Even a cruise. Disney cruise to Disneyland, and by the time we get there I am so done with Disney (not poss).

We took That’s so RaRa on a date to three places yesterday. I felt protective of that girl, she’s only 20! Could not believe my age either (flattered) I was like well, I am trying, very, hard.

Is this like that moment when Britney and Madonna Kiss. I am Madonna’s age in blog years I guess but I am still an it-girl so holla at me layta bitchez.

MTV is notorious for exploiting interesting characters.

It’s a small world after all. I’ma resurrect Walt Disney see, I’m primed for your theme park. I worship princesses. This girl was being a mean girl though then I was like fine, I like your vest (I didn’t) and she goes in mean girl voice, thanks. Hot girls don’t like when other hot girls show up you have to accept it though. I don’t miss a thing cos I never leave the house, it’s annoying, I apologize everyone for noticing you suck sometimes.

I tried to tell her how to build a fire. You put the paper beneath the wood otherwise it just burns up into nothing, which it did but did she listen nooo. I could not stop obsessing over her hatred for me.

Do kids read books still? I know my niece does but now that she has a new laptop I wonder if she’s still in to it. That book looked boring and dumb come back and listen to my life story some more Rara.

I think it takes guts to be on the first episode of a show that can potentially rip you to pieces, she took it like a champ and said some offensive shit, got a lot of railroading but it just rolls off her back. Good kid, bright future. Me, I am a giant baby in other news ahhaha.

We had a fab time. Fast friends instantly.

We were late, I saw her standing (there!)(bbbeatles) alone in the middle of all these movie goers and norms and I smiled, she stood out like crazy and I liked it.

Down the rabbit hole with Alice, til next time!

xo RLW.

twitter is down for maintenance so I can’t find her wordpress link. I told he she has to blob more. DO WHAT I SAY AND AS I DO (in this case).

WATCH TIL THE VERY END THERE IS A SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR YOU! But I forgot to say Right meow! My own meme I started! barf meow.

For the rest of the Planet outside of Planet CANADA here is the final decision clip of my MTV Creeps episode. You are welcome! We duel over the pronunciation of my name for the ten billionth time in history.

Gotta say I’m a fan, I saw your blog tonight while looking up cotton candy pink hair, I thought a lot of your comments were hilarious and you seemed to talk about haters a lot but I don’t understand how you could have any! you seem super fun and I am now a fan

R****

YAY Everything you said is perfect. i stoke the flames sometimes then play innocent but still i get them in droves, people just get furious over the creation of my life maybe and i own my shit and ah whatever. comment ON my blog I love that and write any time kay bye.

raymes

Hi new Little Raymi friends I am also on Twitter @raymitheminx

Yes it is still Christmas here. I’m not the man it is not my job to dismantle that. Old fashion sexism mmhmmm honey you betcha.

Would you let this urchin sit in the corner of your house blogging all day long plugged in to the matrix, beeping clacking, talking to herself all day long and when you come home from work or whatever, watch from the couch all day, she keeps going, doesn’t bother you at all or ask for much except for TOTAL LIVING ROOM TAKEOVER ha.

These are Porsche shades I tried to give them to ang (he collects for his gallery) but I think he’s off with a stripper now, haven’t heard back. I tweeted a joke (he’s italian) on twitter at him that went incredibly ignored! I am insulted everyone! I was like hey I didn’t know you were in town and took a picture of my ANGRY WHOP. (printed as such) receipt bahaha. I’m going to say that at my next stand up next week somewhere it will get laughs. Pseudo-racism translates VERY well in stand-up comedy. Especially if you stand there in a bikini delivering it. Tattoo girls get away with everything because everyone is like, oh, bad girl, fell off the rails, just ignore and watch lol. Don’t engage.

Surf hair day! Must get more sun jammers and wrist guards and get limbered-up for longboard season.

Pretty punk. Spot me out about YDS later on this afternoonerz with this insatiable mop exact. Planning a Saturdate in celebration of not partying hard last night. So that we could party in the day today ha ha.

It’s a bit too sunny in here, not complaining but I usually pull the table away from the window when I work or close the curtains. I am very light sensitive. My nerd colours are showing! (nerds say that a lot)(They never go outside and probably have a fern plant)(I WANT ONE!)

Teacher just said to these pictures I’D WRECK THAT. COLD WRECK IT. Someone has been spending too much time in parkdale.

My saudi prince robe look. OK GTG Watching my shit bloggers say video now aiiiiiiiiiiie!