packed, ready to go.

people who say APPS trigger a wild knee-jerk hate-on reaction within me. significantly so. i feel like i am being spoken to by a desperate to please woman-baby. i was around for the 80s and you’re older than me, so i know there was a time when that term was so not in your vocabulary you fucking liar and if you ever say that shit around me again i am leaving your snoozer get-together. (after i eat everything of course) ps. just try and pull “appys” and see what happens.

don’t care how slumming ghetto it appears, shit’s good st. louis.

could put my dance lessons to use here. ha.

much like that radiohead collab with unkle rabbit in your headlights video that i will now listen to fifty times. “she cries when she’s laughing.”

happened upon this amazing little scene, hidden gem i’d imagine. felt like going back in time a bit. i’ve been feeling that way a lot lately actually. being the new girl, where nobody knows my name. it’s kinda great. i always fantasized in school to move around a lot, new friends, new places. to be a new person.

sometimes i feel like poison. like my world is poison and what i mean by that is, i like to keep things separate. would like to. but i also feel an innate sense of obligation to be out with everything. then i remember the poison, the pressure rather, how it affects everyone around me and i want to protect them from it. i’d like to be more forthright is what i’m getting to. maybe.

that tee from walmart (yes i know)(ugh) was 7 bones. the cardi also from w-mart. yes the place is disgustingly evil but, when in rome…nah it was late and zellers was closed. we needed scrabble and 140 dollars later we were done.

i summarize yesterday’s camp scene to that of fubar meets trailer park boys.

no i’m not above it. i’m in it.

every shade of pink i have. commencing nail regrowth. grow and paint and rip. grow and tear and throw it in an ashtray, hide it in the carpet.

there’s been a lot of woods squatting lately.

catching yourself on some twigs on the way down is a little bit of a shock.

how many times do you live?

these guys barely made it through the day. the box kinda gets me jazzed for christmas already. that’s just the stupid talking though. not at all considering any and all potential stress revolving around the holidays.

hi leslie.

yes those seriously were my letters.

i would be lying if i said these dogs weren’t full-on enchanted by me.

and they respond to me as mummy.

it was close but i won. dave got stuck with a Q. i’d like to give a shout-out to dictionary.com for allowing words such as po and i swear there was an “ay” in there too but i can’t see it now.

watching a dog dismantle a stuffed creature of yours is satisfying. freeing.

+++

and allan as always, rules. he came to my first art show and gave me a nice bottle of red wine, shyly spake some encouraging words and then he was gone. that’s class.

Daily newspapers and television and radio seem to go out of their way to pretend that the internet doesn’t exist.

I’ve always admired her courage, and think she’s brilliant.

as does sean ward

I was catching up on your blog over the weekend and I wanted to tell you that as a member of your audience, I am very excited about this crossroads that you’re at. i wish I had the balls to be as honest and open about my life as you are.

Keep shining, you bright star.

remember this gem wow summer feels so far away. that’s an entire life away. the best quote in this video is when i say, “it’s like here’s my head and my face and then it’s like my face is trying to leave my head.” that’s before i even started smoking the sweet cheecha my friends. don’t be jealous if your face doesn’t look mounted on your head like mine does.

Sean & Raymi discuss the issues from Sean Ward on Vimeo.

just wanted to let you know that i emailed hal, and he said the quote was taken out of context/misquoted. i’m familiar with his writing, so it seeme really weird for him to just say something as cutting as that.

lucas

for the record i am OK with the g&m article. the picture could have been painted differently, but so what. it’s press. many things i said (and we all know how much of a big mouth i am) were left out. but apparently i am a hypocrite for not sending out a press release statement regarding my painful private breakup because i talk about bowel movements and how much everyone sucks secretly on the internet all the time. me and shulgan are cool, in fact he just called and is being rather helpful with book agent name-droppings so… though i’m not going to ignore my suspicion of his desire to create this grand internet drama clusterfuck betwixt us all. i do admire his shit-stirring candor, it’s amusing. he also considers me the most prolific blogger ever, so there’s that.

That’s OK Raymz. I’ve got no problem being mentioned in any article with you. I’m kinda flattered and I’m a big fan, but you already know that. I’m a little disappointed, but not surprised at the tone of the article though. To me it’s just another illustration how out of step mainstream print is. The hoity toity tone they take: how they imply that their writing is more important than your writing, and their need to marginalize you and your followers is so hackneyed. It’s also interesting that they have to give you context by dropping mine and Matt G’s names! I’m a Globe reader, 42 years old, and been around. I love all kinds of grown-up things, and I’m pretty well read and informed - but even I felt like I was dealing with close minded parents or teachers while reading this article. The beauty of Raymi The Minx is how immersed, how involved I can get in the writing - whether you’re talking about bacon martini’s, japanese jewellery, or rabid Twilight fans. The Globe missed that, and they missed it cause they’re not in on it. The only way in, is to discover it. To your thousands of followers, Raymi The Minx has something that the Globe and other mainstream print media are losing by the hour and desperately trying cling to, especially with articles like today’s: Connection With Their Readers. Not tokenism, or trendwatching, but true emotional and intellectual relevance. That’s why you are the success story that you are, Raymi. Yee Haw!!!! Keep it Comin…..

tyler

Subject: hey beautiful

I’d like to visit you. I’ve got a car.
Love,
Melodie

Dear Editor…

-HKD

i’ll sound my mouth off regarding the globe “piece” later, or tomorrow. everyone knows how media works, now while i wasn’t to anticipate this particular slant, i was nervous and ready for something. dunno. it’s good and it’s bad. i’m certainly not the only one benefiting from all this attention so it would be nice if that person who keeps harassing me, who has overstepped boundaries MANY a time with me over the years and i have patiently tolerated it, it would be wonderful if they ceased ever contacting me, talking about me, or considering i even exist anymore lest i call their parole officer tomorrow. also, why you feel the need to defend someone who hasn’t wanted a thing to do with you for a long time now, is beyond me.

that aside, this is the life that i have chosen for myself. you may have chosen an easier, simpler one, a quiet one, a desk job one, i don’t know because i don’t know you and i don’t ever presume to. i have chosen to focus my life on living and being and sharing. and so fucking what. i gambled. i keep at it, and i keep going until i can go no longer. i don’t have a boss telling me what to do everyday or how to do it. am i proud of myself? yes. do i hate myself? daily. am i sick of myself? yes. am i bored by this? yes.

Hey Raymi,

-L

people tell me all the time that this is really easy what i do. oh it is? makes me laugh. when i talk about dieting someone with the poorest physique having the audacity to tell me my plan will not work. it’s like that. i do this because i love it and it’s the longest relationship that i have ever had and i can depend on it. do i expect everyone to be cool about it? never ever. i haven’t had the courtesy to. you lose friends. your friends lose friends even. true colours become revealed.

here’s an email i just sent (edited out the personal bits)

hey always nice to hear from you i think of you fondly in a fond i dunno, way.

sorry about yer grandma, mine took a spill once down some nasty steps, concrete. bah.

im on the fence as per how i feel about the globe piece i sort of knew he was going this way but then it was said to me that they were going to make me out to be the paris hilton of canada, not only perez, what?

true colours come out when things end, when breakups happen. it’s amazing i feel woken up to so many brand new things. (about people)

suburban fall is how she goes. from one ’saugan to another, represent.

dont be a stranger

@karmacakedotca

Just read abt @raymitheminx in the Globe. A portrait of Toronto’s most famous diarist. Shes more than just Alice. She’s the looking glass 2.about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck

@abc4
@raymitheminx critics are dicks by occupation. but denouncing art is extra dicky.

Well, first, I think there is a little jealousy on display here. The writer of the article works for a medium that is losing readers; Raymi and Phil are both working in mediums that continue to attract readers. So there is that.

Johnny Maudlin

i shall rebut this moreso later, kinda gotta split. a few parts i take issue with but more or less, i’m fine with it. to say i have no real gift to speak of is a bit rich. i’m interesting, that’s a gift. it’s a talent, in fact. you’re not. so, respectfully, fuck you. writing about individuals who do rather than not, does not make you interesting. taking advantage of popular culture, is not interesting. nor is it a gift. everything is old news before you even hit publish. maintaining eyeballs for ten years IS a gift. going out everyday looking at the world and asking yourself how to make the mundane, endearing, you try it. and good luck too. put yourself in center focus while you’re at it and take lots of shit for every minor detail down to your eyebrows.

another thing, i do not find honesty to be distasteful. there is no back and fight war going on, there is simply here and there is there and over here i’m finally purging, as respectfully as i know how, presently. also, over there the “veiled references” had been going on long before this week. i’m giving bare bones information, i feel. minimal.

here’s a quote not used in the article:

I’m not part of blogging circles. I can only tell you that Raymi is deftly holding back the feeding frenzy while she sorts out her life. She just took a bold leap and removed her safety net, meanwhile people just want the dirt. There’s a huge opportunity here for her to exploit the relationship’s demise and get a lot of attention from it, but out of respect for the other person, she’s not doing that and I think that’s confusing her readers more than anything.

i also never complained about the suburbs. make fun of, sure. certainly. absolutely. i grew up in suburbia so i know it well, hate it well, but still love it. i’m fine with where i am right now in fact, britt asked me yesterday when the plan was to make my way back to the city and i said i’m actually considering going further away. i was done with the city before i even left it.

one thing typically left out when it comes to the matter of breakups is feelings. manners. respect. we didn’t part on awful terms so i’m not going to paint the internet scarlet with IT’S FUCKING OVER YEAAAAAAAAAH blog posts straight off the bat. i’m going to, bit by bit, emotionally make out of context vague references, as i always have.

and now if you’ll excuse me i have to go figure out another way to get attention.

ps. i dug on the coors light mention. you know, being interviewed on a good day is nerve-wracking. try it on a bad day, following a couple bad months. see what drink you go for.

Hey Raymi

You’re probably my favorite stranger.
James

goin’ catwalk.

party store post halloween, weird vibe. ’specially from the above it teens working there. i think we did a good job in irritating each and every one of them.

girls nite out attire. i’d be game for that. elton john on the juke til dawn.

i could easily handle a room with the walls adorned entirely in curled ribbons.

yuh-awn. just look in the mirror, guy.

into that wig. daisy of love? i’d be good for one ridiculous marie antoinette wig for sure.

almost went there.

too masqueradey. too phantom. too geeky, essentially. grabbed a couple feather face pieces, one black, one white.

COOL! HUGE!!!! WILD! YES NOW THIS IS A PARTY!

too superhero.

albino eyes.

director, ms. britt.

angel pie.

no discounts. don’t worry it won’t “be right” for “the costume” so we’ll have to return it sunday.

oh, hi.

just a dollar. it’s like they knew i was coming.

man, if it wasn’t for the sun, somedays i’d just. you know? you do.

it’s so easy to fall in love.

guys i have a vision ok so it’s like this: i emerge from this stump. yeah and then?

then, when i figure out how to turn around in it…

then you make it rain leaves all around me.

this is what i’ve been dreaming about. crazy girl on film, long dress, lying down (so lazy) slow motion emo running through the tall dead grass. oh and balloons. oh yes. there will be balloons. (hence party store)

OMG THIS IS SO GOING ON FLICKR.

UFO landing. sorry, signs.

fuh-licker.

recommend a new fly purse please. cheapo, el.

stupid astors. bladder is the last word you want to see when yer poundin’ brews.

a beautiful old man moment is captured. he was intensely considering something. saw it from miles.

the rest of the day’s goings-on (way too many s apostrophy thingers in a row there) can be found here.

check the globe&mail tomorrow. toronto section. goes up online too.

happy birthday mom love you! XOXOXOXO

Hey Raymi/Lauren.

Take care, eh.

so it went well i felt. hopefully all the times i said OFF THE RECORD is respected. this saturday or next it should run. (globe&mail)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feFKalYdeSk

here is what i have learned this week. shockingly, so many women, married, with kids, without, men too, boyfriends, girlfriends, so many of you feel trapped in relationships you’re unhappy in. unions you’ve stuck it out years for. YEARS. aside from the piles of comments (which are splendid thank you very much) coming in i have been receiving a gauntlet of emails, truly personal painful emails. long ones that take me ages to get through, like entire afternoons. not all sad, though the ones that stand out most are the sad of course.

but i don’t know what the answer is. for you. i just know that being unhappy for the sake of someone else is probably the stupidest life choice ever. i am not saying that is what i did but from my pedestal it’s easy to be like oh no, that’s what other people do. fall into.

look, i am likely the most annoying insufferable partner you can take on. i will smother the shit out of you. that’s my game plan, basically, and i have to KNOW EVERYTHING. i am super jealous and possessive. lazy. irritating. opinionated. but that’s not the point. the point is i am also fucking wonderful. i am a treasure. endearing. i will give you all of my attention and i will worship you. i make US my world. i do not self-serve. i will distract you from your pain and i will buy you stupid presents you do not need.

however, when someone stops being blown away by you, that’s when you have to leave. when the reasons why someone fell in love with you get choked (unintentionally) into submission that’s when you must leave.

i was told once that there were things about me that could not be replaced, or found in someone else. this is true but is it worth sticking it out with me because i say things in weird cute voices sometimes? (YES)(hahhaa)

my fear is that i morph men into fucked up pieces of shit like me, just the bad parts. apparently men aren’t jealous prior to me. pfft. well. i dunno.

when you’re with someone who is equally attractive as you, maybe even more so depending which way you look at them, or seeing them in action, how women react to them - it fucks you up. when you have some insecurities to begin with, shit gets crazy. one, you are constantly at battle with hovering women. then you are at battle with friends discussing said hovering women. then you are at battle internally over it and then you are also fielding shit from strangers on the internet. everyone tells you how you should be handling jealousy, ugh. look that’s all fine and good if the person i shouldn’t be jealous of was actually giving me some validation. if they came alive for me and not just for everybody else in our world.

in summation. i do not know. we are all feeling the same things on this planet. isolation, controlled, stuck, unhappy. it’s boggling that this is the way of the world and humans. that it degenerates into this. birth, courtship, marriage, unhappiness, death.

somewhat of a sidenote, periodically i get emailed from a recently broken up soul telling me that they were not allowed to read my blog because their past other half would not allow it and then it became “a thing” and basically i broke them up. that’s pretty ridiculous.

the globe and mail is coming by tomorrow to, not exploit but, “the idea is a new yorker mag talk of town piece” profile me. i better watch my mouth.

first question asked, “now, is this a publicity stunt?”

it’s been thrown around more than once. that astounds me. who would benefit from that, namely, what could be benefited from a fake breakup?

more than five years later. i took this photo of myself on my 21st birthday that liz expertly, uniquely recreated in painting-form. anyway aside from the no bangs (that i frequently pine for) and the blond, pretty much the same yeah?

i don’t know why it’s funny to me it just is. when i go to the bathroom i stand beside it and try to pose like that and it’s impossible, my brain tries to tell my head where to look and then i feel really smart. here’s the photo, was used for the cover of dear raymi, that jamie designed.

sigh. youth.

here’s something from someone smarter and wiser than i.

First I want to state I am an old guy. Am not on your site to look at your tittys, though they are nice, there are a lot of that all over the internets. You are an entertaining writer. I enjoy your humor.

Have a great day………………………

how much did sesame street pay google for this one?

thanks cousin lisa xoxo.

for the billionth time, weed helps.

canned wine.

felt completely mentally exhausted yesterday, put through the ringer. lamest statement ever, second half of that last sentence. cliché pile. lets invite the entire town to the trainwreck.

and so halloween evening i was treated to a taste of class, burlington style. on our way to bar 2 this car of four attempted to drag race us at some lights, cool. minors, assumed, why else would you be riding around halloween nite in a car if you were old enough to get into a bar? you wouldn’t be is the case, you’d be partying. anyway, as we were going on ahead to park safely making passage for the other car to speed away one (putrid looking angry nerd) guy in the back screamed at dave NICE WIG YOU FUCKING LOSER. dave thinks he said faggot. i heard loser. no matter, crazy rage shakes took hold and i said can we do something about this right fucking now!? so we peeled out of the parking lot in pursuit for awhile but they were gone. SO so mad. who does that? that guy deserves a curb-stomping and i’m certain if he lips off strangers on the regular, someday he shall be gifted by one. it was the way he said it, the look on his face, so certain, so disgusting. ugh. plus acne and bad hair, and he wasn’t riding shotgun so we know the pecking order of his social circle. desperation is not a hot look.

act two. in bar, meet some pals, there’s a back private party going on we get in on, realise we’re pretty plastered but oh my fuck they do it differently here. everyone is wrecked, i’m kinda diggin’ on it but also a little taken aback. ps. my nickname is toronto by the by haha. we go to the pool table near the back just to, do something? we get to playing, then it’s my go (stripes) and there’s a table tucked in the corner with some surly folk haulin’ drinks. one thing here is people are ready to throw down at the drop of a hat, are actually looking to do so. this ain’t your hipster pretend you don’t see one another scene which you don’t realise you’re fond of (though while immersed in it, hugely HUGELY annoying) until you hit “downtown” burlington. this scene’s number one priority is YES i saw you and i saw that you saw that i saw you, now what the fuck do you want to do about it? everyone in costume adds an extra element of bizarro. ps. for the record i LOVE that “i know that you know that i know…” saying. typing it is very rewarding. you feel like you invented comedy.

anyway, my shot is up and it’s one of those have to shove the pool cue way out in to someone’s personal space shots. this girl, or shrek as i might say, (not dressed as, just unfortunately shaped as such) in a terrible platinum blond bob wig is sitting on a high chair seat watching my uncomfortable situation. there’s also an empty seat right beside her but she’s choosing purposely to stay put, jack and coke in-hand, exactly in my way. i give this scenario two second’s worth of patience then i purposely flub the shot, put cue down on the table and commence knocking all the balls into their pockets by hand. shrek blechs out at me AW SOMEONE GOT UPSET. i ignore, continue over to my pint and other table casually, gingerly, librarianly. shrek says YOU COULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME TO MOVE. i make my way around the pool table to get the rest of the balls in, put my arms in the air and say I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS (in my most effective you are so beneath me tone of voice, it’s a pretty good one ask my brother or anyone who knows me) in normal people maturity manners land, it is. you just move and carry on with your own shit. not here. then some other unintelligible shit was uttered in my direction, the air got a little tense. i was still pissed about the piece of shit from the car prior to this wonderful scene plus way too blasted to deal so we chugged then split once the proper amount of standing there making everyone as uncomfortable as possible time was allocated.

if you choose the table by the pool table intended for pool sharks, you are not allowed to be annoyed if someone playing pool gets in your way a little. that’s kind of the fucking rule and you are no exception, aside from being exceptionally white trash. why does crazy follow me, do i bring it on myself? am i deluded? i used to defend myself in saying it’s cos you live in a city and go out a lot, the probability of more and more shitty scenarios is higher and likelier but now i’m beginning to wonder. i never initiate aggression with others is what i’m saying. is it my vibe, my look? what the hell.

oh and on my way in one genius girl says to me ARE YOU A NERD!? (librarian glasses) i was just like where am i what the fuck, how do you react to all of this? this change. everything. i told her um, yes? she was dressed as amy winehouse and holy moly what a mouth, what an incredibly loud belligerent wailing mouthpiece on’er. i kind of admired her.

maybe a little anti-climactic but i’m sure it’s only a little while til the next class-act reveals themselves.

in other news, the local mediterranean establishment continues to offer up the most colourful and amusing of drunk people watching spots whence hangover dining.

also don’t forget tonight to nominate my blog for the 2009 weblog awards if you want to help motivate me to continue on the coarse of steering this shit show ship. i took it last year for best diarrheaist. i feel like the last year i did a pretty good run of things, yeah? pretty on par and consistent. also hello, how could you say no to this little elf?

that’s what greasy write-off day hair looks like. this picture is so fucking stupid i am making it my new blogger profile picture. i might even put it up there where the welcoming i am a pretty girl with an internet website sidebar photo is supposed to be. WELCOME MUCH. i title this image the weed grinch: comes over, gets high, eats all your candy, talks mad shit, makes you laugh so hard you die then steals all your dvds.

(ps. needing a volunteer makeup artist to paint this mug saturday for a video shoot. come be a part of something spectacular)

here are the categories you can nominate my blog in.