Pecan Cottage Life

Tween book list!

2022-06-02T20:26:00.000-04:00

Hello friend!

Thank you for sharing your time with me today! I have had several requests for what we will be/are currently reading. I often share what we are reading together on Instagram and Facebook; but I decided to send the kids to the bookshelves and get some of their favorite books that we have read for me to share with you all as I am able. Here is our first list. It’s Aaliyah’s pics (and a couple that her mother has added that she will be reading this month.

I hope you will find something that interests you and your family. These books I consider appropriate for children ages 10-13.

Until next time,

Creating Home

2022-06-02T20:14:00.002-04:00

Hello friend!

What says "home" to you? What is it about your home that makes it the place that uniquely comforts you?

My husband told me a story about a coworker of his who was moving across town. He and his new bride had purchased a home together and were moving from their apartments into their first home together. While he was at work, she was given the task of loading up and moving the first load of things. This would be the only load they would be able to move for a few days. What do you think he came home to find she had thought the most important thing to move first? A huge load of books! He was upset at first. Books!!! You can't eat them. You can't sleep on them. They won't keep you warm or safe; but that was all she moved. Why? Can you relate?

I certainly can. When we moved from North Carolina to Arkansas we had one trailer. Everything in that trailer moved with us. Everything that couldn't fit in the trailer was sold or given away.

It was hard for me; but I was able to pack two FULL boxes of my favorite books. Some of them I had been collecting since the eighth grade. Sometimes my husband jokes that he didn't know that he was marrying a librarian.

On my moving priority list are:

1. Books

2. Blankets

3. Plants

4. Snacks

5. My Piano

Books are a given, especially since we recently moved during a time when our local library was closed due to the pandemic. We have great librarians who often order books based on our wish list. We know that we are very blessed in this regard. I love to read. I often found my mother and grandmother reading when I was a child. We also used to get those books from Reader's Digest in the mail often. Anyone remember that? I want my children to have a love of reading and I make sure we have plenty of quality books surrounding them.

Blankets

The first time we moved at the end of spring. This time we moved during the beginning of Winter. Blankets are just a practical edition. For some reason, I seem to have started collecting those as well. It may have begun when a dear friend of mine made a quilt for Aaliyah when she was born; or it may have begun when I began learning to knit. I have a new appreciation for anything that was quilted or hand knit.

Plants

When we moved into our new home here in Arkansas; we moved from a house surrounded by beautiful plants and huge trees. The area directly in front of and behind was being farmed. We had a good sized garden there as well. This home only had a few trees. I say had because I have since planted seven; but it will take years for us to really be able to appreciate them. While the area behind us is being farmed by those same farmers; we no longer have the corn/bean/rice field directly in front of us to admire.

I planted a little garden last Spring and I am planning our garden for this year now; but what did I do to ease the transition? Every gift card I was given by our wonderful friends when we moved, I used a great portion of to buy plants. We may not have as much greenery outside to enjoy; but we definetly have plenty inside...so much so that my loving Hubby has "requested" that I not purchase any more plants. It can be pretty addictive, I admit.

Snacks

This is a new addition and only added to preserve my sanity. Heaven help me if my son should come to me and ask for a snack and me have nothing to give him! Raymond DeSean seams to graze all day long!!! He is going to need a job to help with our grocery bill before long.

Piano

I am SO thankful for our piano! It is a digital Yamaha and is a pretty good quality. I am praying for a really good upright; but in the mean time, we love it. I am able to give lessons on it as a source of income to support my habits 😄; and my children are learning on it as well. A few of them play on it often just for fun.

I am hoping to make this a sort of series as we continue to make adjustments on our home. One of the topics I hope to cover is why we have chosen to name our home. Until the next post, I hope you enjoy a few of these little snapshots of Life at Pecan Cottage.

Until Next Time,

Morning Routines

2022-03-05T20:28:00.003-05:00

Hello Friend!

Thank you for joining us today! I would like to talk with you today about our mourning routine. As a homeschooling parent, I think it is very important to have some sort of scheduling system or routine for your home each day. We have tried many different versions of morning routines (thank you YouTube!). The one I am about to share with you has served us well for years, but I am finding that we are needing to make some adjustments to accommodate our growing children, new home and neighborhood, and changing interests. Do you have a schedule system or routine that works for you? I'd love to hear about it! Drop a comment below or email me at tinylabeckles@yahoo.com.

1. Grooming

Grooming includes washing our faces, brushing our teeth, showering (if we are scheduled to shower in the morning), fixing our hair, and getting dressed.

2. Quiet Time

Quiet time includes reading the Bible and praying, if you are a reader. If not, it means you pray and look through one of the many Bible picture books on the bookshelf. The point for the younger ones it to establish the habit of personal devotion to the Lord very early in their lives, even though they can't read.

I have added to Aaliyah's list to write in her "Proverbs Journal" one verse from Proverbs every day. She will continue this until she leaves home. Raymond and I originally wanted to start the children writing Proverbs when they turned 12, but I forgot all about it. I was recently reminded about this desire and decided to go ahead and have her start now. She will be 13 in June.

3. Clean Zone

Cleaning zones includes making their bed and cleaning their area of responsibility in their room, as well as, to tidy/clean their assigned area of the house. I have divided the house into 4 zones. They are each responsible for one zone. We switch zones on Mondays. Raymond and Cassidy are responsible for walking the dogs (Max and Pita) in the morning. Aaliyah is responsible for any laundry in the dryer (I usually wash and dry a load as part of my routine.) and to do a new load of laundry.

4. Read

Those who can, read at least one chapter or for twenty minutes (we have to put a cap on it for some 😏). The others look at a book; or listen to one of the readers read a book.

5. Breakfast

Most days breakfast for us is really simple. Muffins, yogurt with fruit and/or granola, cereal and milk; something like that. Aaliyah cooks eggs and bacon or sausage on Fridays. Cassidy makes oatmeal for us on Saturdays. BUT you only eat breakfast if you were industrious enough to get out of bed and get your other things done before it's time to begin our morning school things. If not, you will be really ready for snack/lunch time.

6. Play Outside

This happens daily unless there is a dangerous blizzard outside. If so, we do an exercise video together on YouTube or something.

Once all of those things are done, it is usually eleven o'clock or eleven thirty and time to begin our morning school routine. I mentioned before that we will have to make some adjustments. One of my girls naturally includes music as part of her routine; one of them needs to. Also, we plan to be getting chickens, and maybe even a couple of goats as soon as the fence is up. I will be doing most of the work for these additions initially; but it will also be delegated to the littles. I do enjoy animals; but I also want the kids to learn valuable lessons that only taking care of others/animals can provide. That's all I have for today.

As usual, I hope you enjoy these snapshots from our Life at Pecan Cottage!

Until Next Time,

Creating Home

2022-01-09T11:10:00.001-05:00

Hello Friends!

How are you enjoying 2022? It feels so strange for me to be uttering those numbers as our present. I graduated high school in the year 2000 and it sounded so exciting. Once you put that 22 behind the 20…it just feels odd; BUT I’m grateful to be a part of it!

We have been busy little bees over here at the cottage. The last time we met, I was telling you all about Little Miss Zoe Shanice not sleeping through the night. She still doesn’t, but she is waking less often. Now, we are just waiting for her to decide to walk on her own. She will take a step or two; but that’s it. Zoe is cute and she knows it. The main reason she isn’t walking is because someone is almost always willing to carry her around. She is such a joyful and precious addition to the family. We are SO thankful for our little Zoe.

I mentioned that we have been busy. Last November, we moved into our new home. I have been doing my best to be a good wife and mother and to create a beautiful an comfortable place for our family to dwell in. A little over a year into our new space, and I am beginning to feel like we are home. The interior is not where we want it to be forever; but it is clean and cozy.

The requirements for a house to be considered our "new home" were three/four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a good size yard with at least one climbing tree.

This home met all those requirements and had a couple of other perks. One being a sunroom. The sunroom sold me on this home. I could see the sunroom as our school/music room. We spend a lot of time in the “Play room”. Even my husband uses it from time to time as his study.

In the past year we've ripped up some carpet; taken down some cabinets, painted other cabinets, painted a LOT of walls, replaced some flooring, and painstakingly removed some very stubborn wallpaper. This house was built in the 1960’s and it has many of the markings of that generation…including the paneled walls. At first I HATED the walls. They have since grown on me. We still intend to remove them, but I can see their part in making our house look warm instead of cold.

SO, that was the housekeeping and the “let’s get caught up” bit of this post. Let’s get to the point. Why have I bothered to ask for your time today? I hope to encourage you in the matter of prayer.

Every new year there are some fundamental issues that I like to revisit and check the status of in my life. Prayer is one of those issues for me. I have been particularly challenged about how I pray with and for my children.

Two resources I want to share with you about this are:

1.) Focus on the Family had a dear lady speak on the topic. I haven’t read her book, but the podcast was extremely helpful. You can click on the links below if you’d like to listen to it. One thought that she brought out was to consider the idea of if you could pray only one thing for your children, what would it be? The one thing that came to mind for me was for them to have a teachable spirit. Of course salvation is top priority; but a teachable spirit was the first thing I thought. Another thing that blessed me is the clever way she had her children give a praise report and prayer request. They would each go around the table and say what they were happy about (praise) and what they were hopeful for (prayer request). She used the info they provided to pray for them.

2.) The book “52 Things to pray for your Kids” by Jay Payleitner is what I’ve chosen to be my prompter and reminder in prayer for my children this year.

My plan is to read a chapter each week. Last week’s challenge was to pray with your children when they hear a siren. This has a twofold benefit, in my opinion. First, when our silence is interrupted by loud sirens, we are encouraged to go to God for a moment. Secondly, we are encouraged to think of others. Does your family have any particular prayer habit that you find effective in going to the Lord as a family? Do you have any personal prayer goals? I would love to hear about them! Drop a comment below, or email me at Tinylabeckles@yahoo.com.

I would like to share with you a couple of things that I feel we are doing successfully…as far as I can tell.😉

I was challenged some time ago to not pray that God would be with my children; but to instead pray for them to see His presence and influence in their daily lives. God has already promised never to leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), but many times we don’t honor Him because we don’t acknowledge His presence and influence in our everyday lives.

Also, we have been in the habit of praying together aloud when we are taking a trip more than 20 minutes or so away. As each child prays, they are encouraged to thank the Lord for something, pray for something/someone that’s on their mind (a certain family in our church, a friend, a missionary, world event,…), and end by praying for the sibling beside or I front of them. I want them to be in the habit of praying for one another. I also enjoy hearing the purity of their prayers.💕

Thank you for sharing your time with me today!

Until next time,

Tinyla

The Waiting Game

2021-12-14T11:26:00.000-05:00

Hello Friends! So glad you are joining me today! This is just an update on what's going on with the Beckles at the cottage. First, and as the title suggests, we are patiently waiting for miss Zoe to sleep through the night! I kind of promised myself that I would take a break from most things social until Zoe was sleeping through the night. Having babies in your 40’s and still being able to show up in your life requires a certain amount of rest.😊 I assumed that would be at around 8 months to a year.

When will we parents learn that each child is different and each experience unique!

All of my other babies would sleep through the night from about 6 - 8 months old. Let me define “sleep through the night” for all of the new mamas. In my experience, that means from their 10 o’clock/12 o’clock nursing session to their 5 o’clock/7 o’clock nursing session. Usually my babies would nurse and then go back to sleep in their crib after their morning feeding. This is not Zoe’s story!

She still wakes at least twice a night and demands to nurse. She has a beautiful crib that she now has learned to tolerate napping in; otherwise she sleeps with us. I’m just wait for my husband to say that she has been officially kicked out.

Zoe is currently 14 months old, and shows no desire to stop her night feedings; even when she eats dinner with us. I decided to break from my blogging fast to give a little update and to tell you that I’m not giving up…just still in transition from surviving to thriving. I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel; so I hope to be retuning to you all soon. Thank you for sharing your time with us and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day/evening.

These are a few pics of our gingerbread house competition fun.😁

Until next time,

Tinyla

Birthing Tips: My Easiest birth Yet!

2020-11-02T15:57:00.005-05:00

Birthing Tips from Tinyla - Without pictures, but with the a few graphic details.

Birthing Zoe has been my easiest labor, yet. What helped me to be able to say this with such certainty?

I have had six deliveries. When I delivered Brayden (number 5), I did take medication once I got to the hospital. I made the decision that labor pain was one less thing for me to deal with, so I took an opioid through my IV. I cannot for the life of me remember the name of it...maybe that is a side affect of the drug itself. I must say that I don't think that I would ever consider taking an opioid in normal circumstances because of the side affects to the baby that could arise. Even still. I labored for a while at home with him AND I only took the medication when I was in the last phase of labor...I had already dilated to a 7 when I agreed to medication.

With Zoe, I endeavored to be intentional about every aspect of the labor.

On to MY tips:

Labor Prep!

Stay hydrated and well rested.

Somewhere around week 36 I began experiencing a LOT of braxton hicks and back pain. I think this began happening for two reasons. One being that I was dehydrated, the other - mainly the back pain - due to me not resting well. During this week, there was one particular day when my back was hurting more than usual and I went to the hospital to make sure everything was alright. They kept me there for an half hour monitoring me and the baby. Once they told me that everything was alright, I began researching what I could do to remedy the situation. The first thing I did was increase my water intake. I admit that I don't have a habit of drinking water throughout the day. I usually have a cup of coffee at breakfast and a glass of water, tea, or kool-aid 😁 at lunch and dinner. I added to that a protein shake made with THM protein and sweetener and almond milk, a cup of tea (usually raspberry), and an additional bottle of water.

In order to make sure that I was resting well, I took an hour or two break during the middle of the day, usually around 3:00 p.m. when the kids were finished with school and on to their afternoon chores and activities. This usually included me having a glass of tea and a snack, or a protein shake. Sometimes I would nap on the couch in a reclined position, other days I would put my feet up and enjoy my snack and my Youtube playlist or favorite show on Prime.

I also became more diligent about taking my magnesium supplement with dinner every night.

I think managing pain during labor is a Mental Game.

I did my best to prepare for labor mentally by...

A.) Listening to positive birth experiences on podcasts and Youtube. This helped me to cast down negative thoughts when they arose.

I would like to share with you the address to three sites that were most helpful during the last month of my labor prep.

Bridget Teyler

Sarah Lavonne

Above Rubies Podcast

B.) Firmly establish a plan to manage pain during the entire laboring process. Many people talk about birth plans, and they may include pain managment on that list; but that is not what I am speaking of today.

When I had my first child, Aaliyah, I found myself counting (with Leslie Sansome's voice in my head) during every contraction. I have been walking with Mrs. Leslie for many years. I'm sure she doesn't know that she is also my labor and delivery duola as well. 😀

For Zoe's birth, I planned and prayed that I would labor at home until I was dilated to a seven. We live only a couple of blocks from the hospital, so I was at peace with this decision.

I have always downloaded an app that timed my contractions for me; but when the contractions became closer together and more intense; I counted aloud.

With Zoe, I began this even before I was in active labor. I was usually somewhere around 45 to 60 seconds when the I felt the contraction subsiding. Reminding myself that the intense pain is only for about a minute and is bringing me closer to having a precious bundle of life in my arms is a HUGE game changer. I knew that I was changing to active labor when I couldn't intelligently count to 60 anymore (LOL). It's almost hilarious, I began to count noticeably faster and skip numbers.

POSITION

Three of my children were born in a sitting position. Usually I would feel the need to go to the bathroom. With my two home births; I did use the restroom; but I usually stayed in the restroom and had the baby while still there.

Zoe was born in the hospital. They have certain things they want you to do in order to make it easy on the hospital staff. One of them is to stay laying down in bed. Not a great position for laboring without medication! One of the reasons that I wanted to labor mostly at home was because of this one restriction.

Because I was so far along, There was little time for them to strap me to the bed, or to even put an IV in my arm. I told the nurses that I didn't want medication; but that they could put the IV needle in my arm in case of an emergency. The nurse did; but it came out while I was pushing.

When I had a contraction, I simply sat up and over the side of the bed. What could they do? Push me back down. NO, they were very understanding and let me do what I needed to do to get through the contraction.

While laboring at home, I sat in the edge of my favorite and most comfortable chair. I tried just sitting on the toilet; but it was uncomfortable and cold.

PUSHING

When pushing, I leaned back on pillows, grabbed my thighs and imagined that I was having the hugest bowel movement EVER. I literally had to imagine the spot where "it" was coming out. This allowed me to focus my energy on pushing the baby out of the correct spot. Some of my contractions were wasted on "bad pushes". Initially, I forgot this tip; but once I remembered and put it into practice; things moved along a lot more rapidly. The doctor was helpful in telling me when I had made progress. Once he told me that my baby had a lot of hair; it gave me the boost of motivation to continue with energy.

I must add that the nurses coached me to push, take a breath, then push again. I did best with just taking one large breath and giving one great, long push per contraction. 20+ minutes of pushing and she was here.😌

I want to add that I began taking evening primrose supplements and walking 5 times a week at week 38.

Thursday night before she was born, I took a version of the midwifes brew. (I didn't have access to the exact ingredients mentioned online, so I substituted them as best I could.)

Friday I had one of the major evidences of the first signs of labor - loss of mucus plug + diarrhea. Saturday I had diarrhea and mild contractions all day. EARLY Sunday morning I had a contraction hard enough to wake me up. I began having consistent and painful contractions Sunday morning at about 10:30. By that evening at about 3:30, I told my Hubby I was ready to go to the hospital. Sunday evening at 5:09, Zoe was born.

NO intervention, NO medication, NO tearing, YES to a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

All of this said, the Lord allowed me to have the best pregnancy, labor, and delivery I have ever had! I did what I could; but I was reminded that He wants to participate in EVERY aspect of our lives. Birthing children is not excluded. I did not play worship music, or have anyone present speaking positive things to me; but I made sure to remember that the Lord was with me. I am grateful!!!

Are you expecting? I hope this helps in some way.

Do you know anyone who is currently pregnant? Feel free to share! I have done this thing five times before; but I learn with each delivery (from others) how to do it better.

Until next time,

Our Newest Edition! Zoe's birth story

2020-10-19T17:03:00.001-04:00

Hello Friend!

I cannot believe it has been almost five months since I have posted here!!! Time is flying right past me. So much is going on in the world that I may have withdrawn into my little bubble for sanctuary. In order to keep in a good frame of mind, and a (somewhat) joyful spirit; I have scaled my "extra" activities back. SO...what brings me out of my cave for today? The news of our most recent arrival.

Introducing Miss Zoe Rae Shanice Beckles

For some reason I feel compelled to start with a bit about Brayden's story. (you can read more about this here). In March of 2018, our son Brayden was born. Unfortunately, Trisomy 18 caused many issues for Brayden's little body. He survived to week 36 of the pregnancy, which was a miracle in and of itself, but this very serious illness caused him to be stillborn.

In July of 2019, I became pregnant again, only to miscarry at week 13 - September 2019.

Fast-forward to January 2020. I began to feel a little fatigued. In February, with much trepidation, I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I have to honestly say that I had mixed emotions. Physically, I was just getting my body back. Emotionally and spiritually, I wasn't sure what to feel or expect. I had to choose to be happy everyday. I scheduled our appointment at week 12 and everything looked good. Because of our history, I had to go see a specialist at week 21(ish). I chose to take all the tests for genetics and disorders and such. The tests and the ultrasounds all showed that our baby girl was as healthy as a baby could possibly be. I'd like to say that I knew by faith that everything was going to go perfectly; but that would be a lie. Some days were great days, others...not so much. One day that was special for me was the day that I walked into Walmart and they had a brand new stroller/car seat combo on clearance for $100 dollars off of the original price. Somehow, I knew it was for us. For one, I LOVE a good bargain. One problem...at this time we didn't know if baby would be a boy or a girl. Everyone in the house was praying for a baby boy. I just wanted a healthy baby. I called by husband to get his thoughts and he just kept saying over and over again, "but it's pink". I bought it anyway. 😁 We could always return it; but an opportunity to save $100 on something you need does not happen daily. Why was this so special to me? Because I believed it was the Lord saying to us that he was providing for a need. If there was going to be a problem with this pregnancy, I wouldn't need a car seat or stroller. With the previous pregnancy and Brayden, I never purchased anything. With Brayden, I would see cute little things for baby boys; but never felt comfortable buying anything.

I am able to honestly say that this has been my easiest pregnancy. I did have some fatigue in the very beginning; but that's about it. In about week 35, I don't know what was going on; but I slowed my activity WAY down because my hips and back were hurting so badly that I could barely walk. I even went to the emergency room once to make sure everything was okay.

Baby was in great position; but I wasn't dilated, or anything at the time. I continued to take it easy until week 37. Baby was still in position and I was dilated at 1. At this point, I began to prepare for labor.

I walked about five days a week for half an hour. At week 38 I added Evening Primrose to my vitamin intake ( I had forgotten about EP and red raspberry leaf tea until then). I listended to positive podcasts about birth, and I began to watch about 2 birth information videos on YouTube. At week 40 I added midwifes brew and eating pineapples to my daily routine. (Thanks for the tips, YouTube Mamas) Both of those things are supposed to soften the cervix. I also spent a little more time in "fellowship" with hubby than usual.

FINALLY, at 41 weeks and a day, Zoe decided it was time to make her appearance. I had my first contraction at about 3 in the morning; but I was able to go back to sleep until time to get up for church.

I did my normal Sunday morning routine, all the while having sporadic contractions. I began to have really painful contractions at about 10:30...during our second hymn in church. After the music and announcements I went home and I continued to labor at home until my contractions were about 3 minutes apart and I could no longer count to 60 intelligently. (Part of a future post about laboring tips.)

My husband drove me to the hospital, I was checked in and then the nurse checked to see how far dilated I was. An 8!!! They called the doctor and about 15 minutes later he arrived. He checked me, said I was ready and asked if he could break my water. He broke it and told me to push with the next contraction.

I was not expecting to hear push!!! It actually took me a couple of contractions to compose myself and prepare to push. Once I got it together, I pushed for about 20 minutes and out she came.

Once I arrived home my daughter Aaliyah asked if I was excited when Zoe finally was born; to which I responded..." I think I was more relieved, than excited in that moment."

Now I feel a little more excited, than relieved.

Until next Time,

April Update

2020-04-18T14:51:00.001-04:00

Hello Friends!

It's me again. I have missed being with you all on this venue; but I felt that there was/is so much going and so many options to chose from online and in the world that I should maybe be quiet for a while.

As time continues to tick off the calendar, so much has happened that I want to share with you now. The most exciting announcement I have is that we are expecting a baby girl sometime in September! Her name will be Zoe R. (Rae something...My husband likes Raven; but I am not sold on that name yet.) Sharice Beckles. I love how the Lord has already provided for her in so many different ways. Just as I did with Brayden, I took all the tests at 10 weeks. I am so grateful to report that she has no markers for any type of genetic disorder! Everything is right on target for her at this point. Praise the Lord! We are SUPER excited and eagerly anticipating her arrival. I am currently 17 weeks into the preganancy...only 161ish days to go! If you know me, you know that I tend to be in a hurry for everything; but I am trying to enjoy life and not rush this pregnancy along. One funny thing that I did was announce to the facebook world that we are expecting on April 1st. Of course, some folks thought I was joking. Perhaps I should have waited until the second. 😁

Other exciting news is that we have had 5 little furry friends join our crew! Joey and Joanna (Raymond DeSean and Cassidy's 4H rabbit projects) had a litter of 5 kits. It is fun to watch them. They develop so quickly! I am very happy to share that we have already found homes for most of them!!
You can check out THIS video if you are interested in seeing them in action!

Day 16 for these little kits!

I don't know how COVID 19 is affecting your lives; but we are doing our best to continue with life as ususal. Of course, we are not being careless or foolish; but we try to turn off the voices that promote fear. One major change for us is that our local library is closed!!! Because of this I have made more book purchases than I usually do. I am thankful that our local thrift stores are still open (with amended hours); otherwise, I would be broke! I have been able to find some pretty great books for $.50 - $1.00 each.

Some of our bargain book finds!

How has Covid 19 impacted your life? Feel free to share with a comment!

Until Next Time,

Love Requires...

2020-02-25T18:11:00.003-05:00

Hello Friends!

Thank you for taking time out of your day to join me here. Today's topic....LOVE.
Are you surprised? This being the month of February, I suppose you have been/will be hearing a lot about love.
This year, for the first time ever, we left our kids with a friend and got out of town.

We went on a marriage retreat in Georgia. The venue was gorgeous! The food was good! The fellowship was great! and the teaching was spot on!

We heard teaching about godly leadership, godly submission, marriage and money matters, and marriage and passion. What I especially enjoyed about our speakers, is that we saw them model how love and friendship should look in the golden years. It was a beautiful sight. They not only loved each other; but they obviously and very genuinely delighted in each other.
As I considered what about love (and marriage) I wanted to share, these thoughts came to mind:

Love requires a choice.

I think it would be more accurate to say that love requires many choices; but I wand to debunk the idea that people arbitrarily fall in love. We chose to love...or to be infatuated with another person.

First you choose to spend time with them. Then you choose to connect yourself, or associate yourself with them. Maybe you choose to see the beautiful things about them. Sometimes you may choose to ignore the not so beautiful things about them. Who you "fall in love" with is a choice. It's not like the old commercial used to advertise. "I have fallen and I can't get up". Anyone remember that commercial?
In our young and searching years, it would behoove us to choose wisely and involve much prayer and counsel.
The second thought that comes to mind is that...

Love Requires humility.

Man, or woman, you will often have to chose to put your own pride aside...if you want a great marriage. Both the husband and the wife has strengths and weaknesses. Often, the strength of one will compensate for the weakness of the other.

If we are humble enough see and admit that our weakness exists. Then it will require humility to realize that your spouse is strong in that area. If we want to be better together, we will humble ourselves enough to point out that strength in them and admit that we need help with said area. This also requires trust. Sometimes we keep quiet because we aren't sure that we can trust someone else with knowing too much about us. We set up walls and borders that don't allow us to grow into who we could be...

Another topic for another day!

One of the things we were gifted on the retreat is a series written by Dr. Tony Evans - the "Kingdom Agenda" series. It has three parts: One booklet "for Men Only, One booklet "for Women Only, and One booklet for Couples to read together.

One thought that spoke to be in the Women only book is about us as women "putting up the yield sign" and allowing our husbands the right of way in all matters in our marriage. This REQUIRES humility; but I realize that if no one acknowledges who has the right of way, then none of us would ever arrive at our proper destinations in one piece, or on time. One partner committed to godly leadership (yielding to God's ways and views) and the other partner, the wife, yielding to the leadership of her husband (as God has commanded us to do in His word) will require each partner to humble themselves in the sight of God and man. Last of all for today...

Love Requires work.

People with jump through hoops for years in pursuit of money or a dream career; but give up in a year if their marriage requires them to leave their comfort zone for any reason. We become lazy in pursuit of our spouses hearts. We don't want to put in any extra effort to go out of our way to do something that inconveniences us; but would make life easier or more pleasant for our spouse.

I am always challenged by what scripture says. Let the woman be in subjection to her own husband. Let her boss ask her to work overtime...no problemo. Let her husband ask her for a little extra time. SAY WHAT!@#@!

And visa versa. I challenge my husband, who is a great man, to be careful about bending over backwards for Suzie Q. I do not have a jealous nature. Honestly, I think my husband would like it if I was a little more zealous in that area; but even I don't like when he spends time with others that I don't feel like he would spend with us voluntarily. It is easy to neglect the ones who seam to require the least from us. You may have a high maintenance job and a low maintenance family. Making it a point to spend time working on and developing that low maintenance relationships will bring a great return in time.

May this little post bless and challenge you in your love!

Until Next Time,

Three Mistakes

2020-01-24T12:13:00.000-05:00

Hello Friends!

Thank you for joining me today. What is the topic of interest? Well, I am in a reflective mood this morning, so I will be talking about my mistakes. I actually have been wanting to write about this topic for a few weeks now; but I am finally sitting down to do it.

I have been a pastor's wife for about 10 years. TEN YEARS!!! It is hard for me to believe. After the first year I wanted to write down all the things I learned in our first year here; but never did. My desire is to be faithful at journaling daily; but I have not worked hard enough at cultivating that desire; so it isn't happening daily; but I do journal. I mention journaling because I have some things jotted down; these three things I will share with you today.

Mistake Number One: Focusing on the Work instead of the Lord.

Before we became the pastor and pastor's wife of this church, we prayed daily for God's direction and the willingness to obey when He showed us that it was time for change. A decade ago my husband was serving as the assistant pastor and youth director of a church in North Carolina. To be quite honest, when we got the call to leave, I was just starting to feel at home. It was our third year of marriage. I had just had our first child. I had my own local friends and was finding my place in our community and local church. I am not sure why; but that same month we were offered two other ministry opportunities. We prayerfully considered all three and knew that this was the place where God wanted us to serve.

With much excitement and anticipation, we packed our little trailer and moved to Arkansas. God had called us here. We knew we were where He wanted us to be; problem was, few others knew it. I thought that the folks of our town would flock to our church when they saw the love and dedication we brought with us. I thought that when they saw that we wanted to help them make the best of their lives for the Glory of God that the people of our town would be grateful for such a family to leave their home and come here to minister. After all, my husband is a graduate of Bible Institute, a great preacher, a man of integrity, a prayer warrior, ....and I could go on.

I am a Bible College graduate and have a few gifts and abilities as well. In my mind, we made a great team. We had arrived and were going to conquer our area for Christ. Problem? Nobody seemed to care....at least not the ones that I wanted to care. There were SEVERAL services where only our family was present. I became discouraged. Why? Because I began to focus on the work (the people) instead of the Lord. I had forgotten that Only God is faithful all the time. Only God knows all the time you spend in prayer and in the word. Only God sees your heartaches and heartbreaks. Only God knows why and how He is using the work that you do. Only God can provide every need. How does the song go? Noone ever cared for me like Jesus. It took me a w h i l e to stop waiting for the people to see me as mentor and friend. In those early days and years (if I am honest) to forgot that God not only sees me; but that He has promises that He will never break.

My Challenge to You:

NO matter what you are involved in, let God be responsible for the results. Focus on the only thing that you can have control over, your obedience to what you are responsible for and your own attitude. God has truly blessed our family! We aren't where we hope to be; but we are a lot further along on this journey than we were ten years ago. God gives my husband a message. We have done our best to put the things he preaches into practice. If nobody else wants to show up to be fed; let us be found in our place, doing the work we are called to do, and receiving the blessings from being obedient.

Mistake Number Two: Being Over-eager

My second issue was that I thought that just because I had, what I thought, was good information to share; that I should share as much as possible and that people would show up to hear what I had to give. I planned events for our ladies. Lots of events. I would have classes where I taught things like cooking healthy and wholesome meals, parenting classes, how to study the word classes, bow making classes, and so on and so forth. Often, I was the only one who would show up.

The people are not to bear the total blame here.

I have come to learn that I tend to give too much. To over-prepare. In other words; I was so eager to be a blessing that I overwhelmed them.
It is possible that my teaching could have been interpreted that "you need to become more like me and this is how"; or "everything you think you know about God is wrong, and this is why".

My Challenge to You:

In the first year, focus your walk with God; then your family, then the church - in that order. In the second year, focus on your walk with God; then your family, then the church. In the fifth year, focus on your walk with God, then your family, then the church. In the tenth year, focus on your walk with God, your family, then the church. I slowly began focusing some of the energy that I was giving to helping better other people's homes to my own. You know what? I am glad I did. Some of the families that I spent so much time trying to help weren't able to hear me, weren't willing to do the work, and most have since disappeared.

Mistake Number Three: Having No Personal Boundaries or Limitations

In the Bible, there are qualifications for a pastor, for a deacon, and for the wife of deacons. There are no qualifications for the pastor's wife. What should I learn from this? The gifts that God gave you to use in the church, use them accordingly, just like any other church member is commanded to do. Anything extra that you do, is just that. Extra! I am not saying that you shouldn't stretch yourself, or ever serve sacrificially. I am saying that if you choose to do those "extra" things, do them for the Lord and Him only as an offering.

My Challenge to you:

Initially, I was only a phone call away. I would help pretty much any and everybody with any and every need. I used some discretion; but not much. "NO" was not a word that I liked to use often.
No Bueno!

Prayerfully set boundaries for yourself and stick to them without exception. Otherwise you will feel unappreciated and may even become that bitter pastor's wife that eventually doesn't even go to church.
If you are curious about the boundaries I have set for myself, send me a message or comment and I will be happy to share; but realize that they are what God has given ME peace about and may not be for you.

Also, especially in the first year, don't add anything to the schedule. Change as little as possible. Learn the community. There may be a reason why the service is set for an odd time (to you) on an odd day. There may be a good reason why there's no Sunday School or vacation Bible school at your church. And dare I say (as a person who was saved as a result of the bus ministry) there may even be a reason why your church doesn't run a bus or van to bring people to church. Begin new things with much prayer and clear and definitive direction from God. Occasionally my husband will ask me to do things, and I have to challenge even him a little bit instead of saying a quick yes. This is the new, more mature me. It's not always comfortable; but It helps me to be the sane and loving me.

May this blog post bless somebody's life!

Until Next Time,

View companion vlog on YouTube here: Three Mistakes!

I Need a Cleansing!

2020-01-21T11:14:00.004-05:00

Hello Friends!

Last year, the ladies of our church met together about three times for the purpose of focusing on and sharing a specific portion of scripture. Our first meeting had the theme of putting God first (Matthew 6:33) . The second meeting we studied the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5). In the third meeting we focused on the armor of God as it pertains to women and mothering (Ephesians 6).

We had our first meeting for the year last Saturday. Our verse and topic to meditate on was Psalm 119:9 -

"Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word."

I thought it was very appropriate that the ladies wanted to have a juice bar instead of normal snacks. I mean, who isn't up for a cleansing juice, right!?!

The meeting went well; but one thing stood out to me as I was preparing for my five minutes of sharing. The difference in the definition of clean and cleanse. Clean has to do with removing dirt from the external. Cleanse has to do with purifying the internal.

The best tool I know for cleansing the soul is the Word of God. As a young person I was challenged to hide the word of God in my heart, to read it daily, to memorize it, and to put into practice what I learned. I don't think I realized how establishing the habit of reading the Word of God was cleansing my way.

I tried to issue the same challenge to our ladies. I know the verse specifically says, "young man"; but I believe ANYONE can benefit from taking heed to the word of God. Rather than focusing on looking like a clean vessel; May we let the Word of God make us a clean vessel, by cleansing us of our ways and intents; and replacing them with His.

Until Next Time,

New Year. New Word.

2020-01-02T10:39:00.001-05:00

Hello Friends!
It's Tinyla again and I want to wish you a wonderful new year! I am so excited about 2020 and all of the potential it has. Sooo...

In the last blog post I mentioned that I prayed for and focused on the phrase "enlarged capacity". I communicated, I hope, that I prayed earnestly for an enlarged capacity; but my understanding of what that meant was immature.

Now that I know a little better; what have I chosen to focus on in this new year? One word, Pursue. Pursue, by definition (according to Mr. Webster) means 1.) to find or employ measures to obtain or accomplish: to seek. 2.) to proceed along; or 3.) to engage in.

What am I trying to accomplish or obtain?
What am I seeking?
Proceed along what?
Engage in what?

I want to pursue all that God has for me.
I want to seek His face.
I want to continue, or proceed in walking with Him.
I want to engage in the tasks that He has for me.

My focus for this year is to pursue the best version of Tinyla as a child of God, as a wife, as a mother, as a church member, as a sister, as a friend. I pray He continues to enlarge me. I pray that He continues to increase my faith; that he helps me to not become weary in well doing; and that by this time next year I will be a better person than I am today...because I look more like Christ.

What is your goal for this year?
What are you focused on in your life?

Until next time,

Stretch!

2019-12-30T19:41:00.001-05:00

Hello Friends!

This year has almost come to a close. It is hard to believe that in just couple of days it will be 2020! I am grateful for all that 2019 brought into my life; but I am very happy to be starting a new year. My goal and prayer for 2019 was for the Lord to increase my capacity. I heard someone say that in the beginning of the year and I thought it sounded so good that I began to consistently pray for my capacity to be increased as well. Sounds great, right? As the year progressed, I didn't feel like my capacity was increasing. Instead I felt like I was being pruned...which sounds a lot more like decreasing than enlarging! Not what I had in mind; but I am sure it is what was needed.

I expected to see more happy and exciting things happening for us and to posses more experiences and things that I desired. As I look back on the year, I don't really see either of those things. Please understand that I am not saying that God has not been good to us; or that we are in need of anything. What I am saying is that this year I have experienced some disappointments, some heartaches, and some loss. Initially, the words "enlarged capaicty" (at least in my inmature mind) translated to "more stuff" and "fun experiences". As I asked the Lord why so many things that I desired I did not see; I felt like His answer was "Selah"; or stop and think. Mediate on the words you have so consistently been praying.

Upon further review, it seems that my little teacup self was asking God to bless me with gallon sized blessings. Well, what happens when you pour all of the contents from a gallon jug into a teacup? A huge mess! In order for a tea cup (6-8 ounces.) to receive all that is meant for a gallon jug (128 ounces; some major stretching must happen. Maybe some breaking, remolding, and a kiln (very hot oven) may even be involved. So, it seems that I have been praying the prayer of the spiritually mature with the understanding of a child, and the Lord has graciously answered me by stretching me past my understanding, imagined limits, and out of my comfort zone in so many areas.

This year, 2019, has been a blessing to me in a unique way; but as I think about my word, or phrase to focus on for the next year; I am going to spend a little more time thinking and praying for understanding BEFORE I commit to making it my prayer for the year!...with a heart open to whatever God has for me, of course. Thank you for joining us on our little journey in 2019! In the year 2020, I pray for the best that God has for your life and mine!

Until Next Year,

Christmas Time is Here!

2019-12-20T19:26:00.000-05:00

Hello Friends!

What a busy time of year for our family! This year, like every year for the past 11 years, we decorated Christmas cookies with the children in our church. Unlike previous years, 1.) We had more children in attendance who are not members of our church than those who are members. 2.) One of our children placed third in the cookie decorating contest...Ironically, it's the one who probably cares the least. 3.) My "perfect" Christmas cookie recipe wasn't so perfect. I reviewed my actions and I have concluded that we did two things differently this year which contributed to our cookie crisis. 1.) I used duck eggs instead of chicken eggs when baking the cookies. Normally, using duck eggs for my baking results in decadence. Not this time! 2.) We let the dough set out of the refrigerator for too long before we cut into it. I think the dough got too warm as we were handling it. Tomorrow morning the kids and I will be baking another batch for our Christmas party on Monday. We will use regular eggs and work more quickly. I will share the results with you. Hopefully they will handle as well as they taste; unlike last weeks cookies which tasted great; but were crumbly and not as well formed.

My "No Fail" Christmas cookie recipe

One other thing that we have added into the mix is our music program. I have a dear friend who has entrusted me with teaching her kids music. Word has spread and our little choir is growing! We performed at one of our local care homes and are scheduled to perform at two more before Christmas. They will also be performing at church as part of our Christmas festivities.

I am having a blast singing and playing with these kids! Music is a precious gift to share.

The last thing I want to comment on today is how we handle gift giving in our home.
First, the kids use a portion of the money in their piggy banks to shop for stocking stuffers for their siblings. They pull a name from a box and I take them one by one to shop for one another.
The second thing we do is ask the children to tell us two things that they would like for Christmas; we surprise them with the third item. Yes, you read that correctly. We limit them to three gifts. Usually Grandparents send gifts for them in addition to what we give. Some years they send money and I am able to upgrade what we plan to give them; but I do my best to limit them to three gifts each. This is just one way for us to not get caught up in the hullabaloo of the holidays and to remind us of Christ. The Bible mentions the three gifts from the wise men. We use that as our guide for our three gift rule.

Here are some snapshots from our lives this season.

This is our second year to participate in the Operation Christmas child program.

Cassidy and Pita

Rayanna is learning to tie her favorite shoes.

A few of our favorite "scenes" on or Christmas tree.

Beckles's Christmas tree 2019

Raymond DeSean finishes his first, first grade reading book

Cassidy gives a little attitude.

Do you have traditions that you treasure for Christmas?
Do you have a favorite Christmas song?
What do you do to keep yourself from falling prey to commercialism in the holidays?

Until next time;

Merry Christmas from our home to yours!

Celebration Time!

2019-12-06T19:27:00.001-05:00

Ready to hit the road!

Today the little people and I went out on the town in celebration of them having a dry pull-up for 14 days.
What an accomplishment!!! For a while we were buying pull-ups every two weeks for three children.
I felt like I was throwing money in the trash!! We tried a variety of different approaches to solve this
problem (no drinks after dinner; plastic liners for the mattresses; supplements for stronger bladders,
etc) ; but nothing worked. One day while the grandparents were here; we were told stories about
certain individuals who used to wet the bed and then blame their older siblings. In my family;
I remember that my brother was a bed wetter until he was about 11 years old.

One of children decided that they were not going to wet the bed any longer and asked their dad
to wake them up in the wee hours of the morning in order to use the restroom.
Their mama was willing to pay for the pull-ups so she could sleep in peace. (cheese!)

It worked for her. She has not been wearing pull-ups and has had a dry bed for several months now.
The two small ones were soaking through pull-ups and waking with wet sheets; and then some
days one or two of them would be dry in the morning. This made me think maybe the issue with
at least one of them was laziness rather than genetics.

Raymond and I decided to give them a little incentive to wake up dry. I counted out 14 pieces
of candy and put them in separate containers for each kid. If they brought me a dry pull-up
in the morning, I would give them a piece of candy. Once they finished the candy we would
get them a burger and fries as a celebration. Please understand that we don’t buy candy for our kids.
It is amazing what a little candy will motivate a kid to do! Instead of me buying pull-ups and doing loads of
soiled laundry and sheets; I now hear them using the bathroom early in the morning
on. their. own.

Today was day 15 for both lil’ Raymond and Rayanna. We made a day of it.
(...or at least an afternoon. Our morning was filled with our normal routine, music class,
and school work).

Where did we go? What did we do?

We went to the bank, then to Walmart. We got burgers, drinks, fries and mozzarella sticks (for me) at Sonic, and took Max to the dog park. We had a good time.

The lake by the dog park. A lot of people in our
area enjoy fishing here as well.

A beautiful view in our backyard.

Can any of you relate? Do any of you have bed wetters?

Until Next Time,

A Note to Single Mamas....

2019-11-02T14:11:00.000-04:00

photo credit

Hello Friends!

I have mentioned before that I have a heart for single mamas.
My mother was a single mom. Her mother was a single mom and orphaned at an early age. I have limited knowledge of our family history before her; so I'm not sure how far this cycle has been present in our family.
Our church is comprised mainly of single mamas and their children. I see things happen in their lives that burdens me.
My heart ached often as a child for my mother. Someday I will share her story (from my perspective); but today I want to share some things that I think would have blessed our family. And may bless yours, if you are a single mama - for whatever reason. If you know a single mama, please feel free to share if you think it will bless them. Thanks for visiting me today!

Know and Accept that fatherless homes are more susceptible to SO many ills in society; so realize that you are operating as the underdog when it comes to raising successful kids from a functional (as opposed to dysfunctional) home. Mama, you CANNOT be and weren't created to be Mom and Dad. Get some help! If you don't; you will likely drive yourself (and possibly your children) crazy.
That being said, Be extremely intentional about your outside influences. The first thing that comes to mind is the subject of sexual abuse. I am not a psychologist or DHS worker; but I KNOW that children (girls and boys) are being sexually abused at alarming rates these days. I once heard that three out of five (3:5) children have been molested. How many kids do you have? If you don't want them to be counted among the three, you have to be Vigilant...even if people think you are being rude. Don't sacrifice you children on the alter of social politeness! The second subject that comes to mind is gang affiliations and cults. Children without fathers are more susceptible to joining groups that manipulate folks as a means of recruiting them. Side note: Don't use manipulation as a means of getting your children to do what you want.
Self Care is a must. This applies to all mamas. Often we feel tired and worn out because we are so busy sacrificially taking care of others. Time passes. We feel unappreciated. We become bitter against those we took care of for most of their lives. We feel like they owe us something; but they don't agree. They often feel that you were doing your job and shouldn't expect to get paid. After all, they didn't ask to be born. I say, take time to pay yourself. Invest in yourself. Maybe get/give yourself a manicure periodically. Do, or get your hair done. Get a hobby. Join a club somewhere. Make time to do something you love. Learn to say no more often (politely) and yes slowly and less often (don't feel obligated to give a reason). And, as my wise husband told me, "Don't punish others because you failed to establish and enforce personal boundaries.".
Join/create a tribe. This kind of pairs well with getting help. Church is a great place to find a great tribe. Even in church...still be selective (Remember, this is coming from a pastor's wife. Just because you go to church with them, doesn't mean they should be allowed into your inner circle.) Seek HIS face for who your tribe should include. Mine includes an older couple that I met through our local library's book club. Not all of my tribe agrees with me about everything. This is a good thing. A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land. - Psalm 68:5,6
Pour into yourself. This pairs well with self care and includes, at least for me, quiet time with the Lord every morning and sometimes at the kids' nap times. I am blessed in that I live across from our church. Sometimes I get to go to church and just be still for a while. Occasionally I go "clean the chicken house" which is code for me going to listen to a podcast or YouTube video. Nobody wants to volunteer to help me clean chicken poop! I know I will be left alone.
Frustration in being the "mean" parent happens; but it's worth it. Have a vision for you kids and be wiling to do the hard things to make that vision happen. Life is not always offering candy and gifts. When the hard things come into your kid's lives. Who do you think they will go to for real help? Long term respect is better than superficial love.
Release yourself to be you - a human being with wants and needs of your own; who occasionally has a bad day. When down days happen, tell your kids just that. I warn my family when I am not feeling like a patient and loving person. I don't always tell them why; but I do give them a heads up. Superwoman (or in this case supermama) is a myth.
Marriage is not the be all and end all. Don't romanticize it - no pun intended. 😉 A happy marriage involves a lot of hard work. Also, if you don't know how to live by yourself and be happy; how do you expect to know how to live happily with a someone else in your life every. single. day. who will bring differing opinions, habits, and baggage into your home? Personally, I would suggest to single moms that they wait to get married until all of their kids are at least middle school age. This may be a naive suggestion; but in light of the afore mentioned things regarding abuse and such; I would be very careful to bring a man in my home that my children will be alone with in private settings when they aren't old enough to speak for themselves intelligently. Maybe I am speaking from a paranoid married persons point of view; but I firmly believe this is good advice. Infatuation (love) can cloud your vision and judgment. You should at least submit yourself to the judgment of someone else when considering marriage. If the man in consideration will not submit to pre-marital counseling (We recommend at least one day a week for six days); DON'T MARRY THAT PERSON!!! During counseling; have the hard conversations.
Last of all, limit outside activities - Have a goal for time spent at home. Learn who your children are as they are becoming that person. Love your children for who they are are who they are becoming. Let them learn and love you. Win their heart and they will keep yours in mind as they make choices in life.

I have given a lot of advice with very little scripture, so take this as my humble opinion on this matter; but please keep in mind that this is advice given with love and the background of a child's experience in this matter. What would you add/remove from this list? I am interested to know. Comment below or send me an email (tinylabeckles@yahoo.com).

Until Next Time,

It's Monday!

2019-10-21T13:46:00.003-04:00

Hello Friends!

I love Monday's. It's a day of rest for our family. Most people would consider Saturday or Sunday their day of rest, or house cleaning day; but Monday's are our day to do those things. Saturdays are basically our day to prep for Sunday. Sunday is set apart for church.

On Monday's, I do the afore mentioned things. I also plan our homeschool work for the week. I find this more helpful than planning every day for a year, semester, or month.

Most importantly, I rest, do things I enjoy, and stay home as much as possible. Thoughts of errands that I need to run and other things that I "need" to do always pop up in my mind. I jot them down and do them on another day. I think it is important to develop a love for home and model that love for your family. What kind of message does it send to them when mama is always eager to go away from home, and always hesitant to return? We (my husband and I) try to vocalize our love for being home every time we return. Our homes are meant to be a place of refuge and peace. I am thankful for a day to restore order to our home and make it a pleasant place for us to do life together.

Today I thought I would share with you a few things that I enjoy. In closing, I will share with you a few snapshots of our September/October. Thank you for spending time with us today! Please come again.😁

I enjoy reading.

I don't always have the time, opportunity, or stamina to read a "real" book; but I do love to at least make an attempt.

What's on my bookshelf?

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
This is our library book club group's book of the month. I am only able to attend about three times a year; but I thoroughly enjoy meeting with these ladies. At this time I am the "darkest skinned" attendee and also the youngest. I get to bring the "young", Black, Baptist perspective. I love it!

What am I listening to on audible?

Creating Innovators: The Making of Young People Who Will Change the World by Tom Wagner
I listen to a book while I am doing house work, traveling, or during nap time. This is the book I chose for this month.

I enjoy knitting.

I am currently making a hat for my husband. I have one step left; then I will choose another project to begin.

I enjoy music.

I play the piano. I would consider myself an intermediate to moderately advanced level pianist. I currently give lessons to three of my children as well as five other children. I have committed myself to play a challenging piece every month as a church offertory. This helps me not to become stagnant in my skill level. I also am considering getting myself a guitar. I don't play; but our Aaliyah has a ukulele and we are learning together. It is fun! I am currently learning to play "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder. Our teacher , if your interested, and the song.

What project am I currently tackling?

I am currently in the beginning stage of writing a Bible Study for ladies. It is a study on the armor of God mentioned in Ephesians chapter six. The passage is VERY familiar to most Christians and many great studies have been done; but sometimes I think that as mothers and women, we don't always see how critical it is for us to have our armor on daily. I hope to have it completed by Thanksgiving.

This will be my third attempt at a writing project. I wrote a book about my hair journey about 9 years ago. I was too chicken to submit it to publishers, and now there are several in print that are so similar that I feel my book is now for my children's and my benefit only. I wrote a children's book that was published about 6 years ago. I lost the rights to it when the company went under due to its owners being prosecuted and sentenced to jail for making some terrible choices. I wish I had framed my first check instead of cashing it. 😉

ON the the snapshots of our lives...

The Beckles come for a visit! Uncle, Grandma, and Grandpa

The Beckles Men and boy

Us entering animals at our three county fair

Aaliyah showing her bunny

Aaliyah and Grace (the bunny)

Aaliyah and Grace won best of breed.

Raymond's hen won best of show.

Cassidy won first place for showmanship.

Wheel barrow race...we didn't win.

Picking Pumpkins

Fall display at our church

Until Next Time,

School Begins!

2019-08-13T16:03:00.001-04:00

Hello Friends!

It's hard to believe that it has been a month since the last time I was here; but here we are!
This morning, I smiled to myself as I heard the public school bus pass by our house on the way to pick kids up for the first day of school.

One of the many reasons that I am thankful for the opportunity to homeschool is that I don't have to wake up any little people early in the morning and prep them for a day away from home.

We actually began school again several weeks ago. I hadn't originally planned to begin that early; but both the kids and I were ready. They were actually asking to go ahead and start.

This year (2019-2020), I am planning to continue teaching 6 weeks on and 1 -3 weeks off (the longer time for Christmas and the new year as well as Easter week). I call them sessions and we will have about 6 sessions (36) weeks of school. One of the many differences from last year is that every child will be doing some amount of school five days a week. Last year, only the older ones "did school" daily.

We really enjoy our week off (this is week 7 - our week of rest) as it gives us all a break; but not so much so that I have to re-teach previously learned lessons.

During that week off the kids get to focus more on creativity, reading, more free play time outside, and extra time on their tablets/tv. Ordinarily, they only play on their tablets/watch tv on the weekends.

On our week off I get to:
1. Read for pleasure!
2. Do house projects or focus on cleaning/organizing some area that has been neglected.
3. Re -decorate for the season.
4. Prepare for the next session.
5. Binge watch something on PBS, Netflix, or Prime.

Our fist session of school was mainly about review of what we already knew and getting into our new routine as "just the Beckles". We are enjoying one another and I am seeing some siblings connect in ways that probably would not be happening if our beloved cousins were here. As you think of them, please pray for them and their mom. I haven't heard from them lately. Life happens.

Thank you all for joining us today!

The white silkie on the top is "Pretty Ricky" our rooster.
The white one in the middle is our "surprise" rooster whom we now call "Albert Einstein".
He used to be "Sky"

Early morning shot of Rayanna doing tricks on the swing.

Rayanna dressed herself. She is a little bit proud of her choice.

Snake ed at the library. This is a real albino corn snake.

Sorting our recyclables

Aaliyah relaxing on a pontoon ride down the river.

Until next time,

Remember to check us out on YouTube ( Life at Pecan Cottage) and facebook (Trinitymamas)!

Summer Begins!

2019-07-04T17:34:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends!
For our family, the Summer usually begins with the big girls's birthdays. Aaliyah's birthday is June 18th and Cassidy's birthday is June 17th. We always aim to take a long break (3 or 4 weeks) from school and just focus on the family having a great time, beginning on the 17th. This year, Summer sort of began on a down not for us, in that we took the cousins back to Oklahoma on the 10th of June.

We only were able to stay for a few hours and spend time with them at their home before we had to head back. We were able to see a little bit of my family before we had to head back.

Aaliyah and her new bunny, "Grace".

Cassidy

Rayanna

Aaliyah

Berry picking fun!

I truly enjoyed introducing my great Aunt Joyce to our Rayanna for the first time. The last time she saw us, I was expecting Rayanna. Aunt Joyce can be quite a character...but so can Rayanna! My Aunt would say something, and Rayanna would look at me like - "is she for real!?!".

Once we landed back home, we rested for a couple of days and enjoyed the peace and quiet; then the festivities began! Family only birthday parties, cooking classes, a district 4-H competition, Swimming and cookouts with friends, berry picking, etc.

Cooking Class

One thing I am especially proud to share is that the girls are beginning formal music lessons!!! I teach them piano because I have been playing for years; but I do not have a music degree; nor do I know how to play ukelele or clarinet. I am excited about watching the girls's musical skills improve.

First Clarinet Lesson

How has your Summer been thus far?
What marks the beginning of Summer for your family?
Share with me in the comment section; or shoot me an email @tinylabeckles@yahoo.com.

Until Next Time,

Father's Day

2019-06-22T13:29:00.001-04:00

Hello Friends!

I trust you all had a wonderful Father's Day! We surely did. In preparation for the day, I made a Dr.'s appointment early in the day on the Thursday before for my girls and I so that my husband wouldn't think it strange that we were gone for a long time. The appointment was actually pretty quick; then Cassidy, Aaliyah and I left town to go shopping for my husband. We found some things that we felt he would enjoy - Habanaro and Mango Kettle cooked potato chips, a piece of home decor, a eucalyptus candle that reminded me of his home in California (there are a lot of eucalyptus trees in his home town), and a fast charging device for his phone. Aaliyah wrote him a beautiful poem, which we are going to frame. We also made homemade lasagna, using his mother's recipe.

We began our morning with a peek at the garden and a leisurely breakfast, then we dressed and prepared for the service. After the service we ate cupcakes and took family pictures. Next we went home and dove into the lasagna, sprouted Italian bread, and a quality Olive Oil enhanced with seasonings for dipping. I am going to take a minute and brag on myself here (ok...maybe I will share credit with my mother-in-love -) that was the best lasagna I have ever eaten!!! I skipped dessert and ate more...then I ate some for breakfast the next day! I loved it so much that I am making more for this coming Sunday...then maybe I will take a break from Italian food (smile).

"Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law." - Proverbs 4:1,2

The kids memorized this verse in honor of this year's Father's Day.

I enjoy Father's Day, not because I had a great relationship with my father...he never even admitted I was his child. I enjoy the day because I celebrate those men who influenced me in my formative years and because I enjoy watching my children interact with their father. May their memories of life with Dad be wonderful!!!

Until Next Time,

Mother's Day 2019

2019-05-15T19:05:00.002-04:00

I trust that you all had a wonderful Mother's Day. I surely did! The kids "surprised" me with several great gifts - roses, a new robe, gum, and a personal pecan pie. My husband "surprised" me with my favorite skin products from Trim Healthy Naturals.

My daughter Aaliyah wrote a poem on the inside of the card the kid's gave me. It really blessed my heart.

Mother's Day Prize

You bloom with colors of kindness

Your peddles full of love

It takes a flower like you

To win

that Mother's Day

Gold Meddle.

-Aaliyah Beckles

Handome Men!!!😍😍

Poem by Aaliyah Beckles

Until Next Time,

Power of Influence

2019-05-04T13:13:00.006-04:00

When You Thought

I Wasn't Looking

When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me. I learned that the little things can be the special things in life. When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick. I learned what it means to serve one another in brotherly love. When you thought I wasn't looking; I heard you pray over me and kiss me goodnight and I felt loved and safe. When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw how you handle your responsibilities even when you didn't feel good. I learned what it means to glorify God in all things. When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw you give of your time and money to the people in need and I learned that God loves a cheerful giver. When you thought I wasn't looking; I saw tears come to your eyes. I learned that sometimes things hurt; but it's alright to cry. When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you praying and reading God's word and I learned to depend on and trust in Him. When you thought I wasn't looking; I looked at you and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

Author unknown

This is also a poem I came across in search of something special for Mother's Day. It speaks to the power of influence and letting your actions speak for themselves.

The type of parenting philosophy that says do as I say: not as I do is not very effective. As the song goes..."Your walk talks, and your talk talks; but your walk talks louder than your talk talks."
Say that 3 times fast!

Here are a few snapshots of our April. Also, feel free to hop over to our new YouTube channel (Tinylasnews...life at Pecan Cottage) and join us on our latest adventure!

Until Next Time,

Legalistic Attitudes

2019-05-04T12:14:00.002-04:00

WARNING! This post may be abrasive or offensive for some. Read on if you don’t mind being challenged about what you believe about God. I have felt challenged about this topic (Legalism, the attitude of legalism more specifically) with my kids. I want them to be comfortable interacting with people - children- who aren’t exactly like them while maintaining who we have raised them to be. I don’t want them going to extremes in different areas in their lives in order to cover for insecurities and seek favor/love. I don’t want them to feel like they have to do everything as I have done in order to win the approval of God...or even me and my husband . Make no mistake, I desire for them to carry on their relationship with the Lord as sincere and devoted Christians; but I want them to see the value in our principles for themselves and as a catalyst to their happiness and well being.

As a young child, age 5ish until 9ish, I rode different Sunday School busses to a few different churches. I distinctly remember praying to become a Christian when I was about 9 years old. Time passed. We moved a few more times. I turned 12 years old, and the bus workers from church found us again. My Grandma, who lived on the other side of town, had given them our address. I was faithful to wake up my 3 siblings every Sunday so that we could ride the bus to church. At the end of every service, our pastor ALWAYS invited anyone in the congregation to come forward and pray to receive Christ as Savior. I went forward during the invitation and the lady asked me if I had ever prayed to be saved before. My answer was yes, so she showed me verses about being sure I was a Christian. This wasn’t enough to make me feel better about myself. I then began to seek out ways to earn more love from God and to feel like I was really a Christian. I increased my church attendance to three times a week. I joined the group of bus workers on Saturday visitation. I noticed that the girls from church always wore dresses. I heard a message that gave me reason to believe that my doing so would make God happy; so I went straight home and threw all my pants away...on trash day. I wanted to make sure that I couldn’t go back on this decision. If my mother was angry about me throwing all my clothes away, she didn’t show it. She also didn’t buy me any dresses; so I was left to wearing the 3 dresses/skirts that I owned.

God provided more clothes. I won a contest at church and the prize was a new Sunday dress. Also, my public school teacher invited me over and gave me a few dresses that she “no longer was able to fit”. I still felt that I needed to do more. One day, at the age of 12, I attended a missions conference at our church. We sang the first song, then a missionary woman gave her testimony. She mentioned that she had just been saved. How was that possible? This woman had grown up in a good Christian home. I knew her family and they were good people. She had attended Bible college AND was now on her way to give her life to tell others about God. If she had not been sure that she was going to heaven; how could I ever be? A heavy fear came over me. I just knew there was going to be an earthquake or something that night and everyone in the building was going to die and I would go straight to hell! I rushed to our bus captain’s wife and pleaded with her to talk with me right then. She politely told me that I would have to wait for a break in the service. Forty-Five LONG minutes later, I went forward and prayed the sinner’s prayer. At this point, I knew all the verses by heart. I had shared them with others. I prayed with the alter worker and when I stood up, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

This time, I realized that there really was nothing I could do to save myself or to earn the love of God. Jesus really had done everything necessary for me to be accepted.

I continued to go to church as often as possible. I even was given the privilege of attending the Christian school. I continued to wear skirts and dresses daily; but this time it was an exercise in delighting in the fact that I was a young woman who loved God and not because I needed to earn anyone’s love and favor...not even God’s. He had already demonstrated the degree of his love for me - before I had even thought about Him.

What is the point of this post? What do I wish for you to take away from my blog today?

God loves you as you are! GOD LOVES YOU! And, The only thing you must do to earn His favor is to believe the gospel and receive Jesus as Savior.
The Bible tells us in Romans 5:8 that God demonstrated his love for us while we were yet sinners! 1 John 1:8 says that if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves...he is talking to believers here! My favorite passage to show others who are interested in salvation is John 3. Nicodemas, a leader of religious Jews, is told by Jesus that if he didn’t forsake his religion in favor of being born into the family of God through the Spirit of God; he could forget seeing God’s kingdom.

Be careful of legalism and legalistic attitudes. Legalism, to me, is following a strict set of rules in order to earn salvation and to prop yourself up above others. Doing things in order to show that you are in God’s favor. It’s forsaking the gospel, grace and a relationship with God for a set of rules or laws that have nothing to do with salvation.

Be careful of borrowing the convictions and beliefs of others who seem to “have it together”. As a young person, I imitated the ladies (good people) who were around me because I respected them and saw the blessings of God on them. Sometimes I knew the “why” (reason) behind the “what”(rule or code of conduct). Sometimes I didn’t. Let me say that imitating good people as a young person never hurt me.

As my relationship with the Lord grew, some of the borrowed convictions became my own because I saw they were good for me. Some of them I shed, as I viewed them as unnecessary for my benefit. I have purposed to be intentional about my standards of dress, actions, dietary practices, and social activities because I want to reflect the God in me as much as possible; not because I want to attract God to me. There’s a difference.

Is any of this making sense? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Can any of you identify with my story? Let me know in the comment section. Is there anything I should have mentioned, but didn’t? Let me know in the comment section.

Until Next Time,

Courage, Identity, Justice

2019-05-03T12:16:00.001-04:00

About three years ago our family watched a movie entitled Courageous. That movie changed my son's life. Understand that my son is currently 5 years old. Even still, this movie was a life changer for him. I have shared before that he is obsessed with becoming a police officer. For his birthday and Christmas every year since then, he wants a new police officer uniform and a suitcase. Last year he added a law book to the mix. We have replaced his uniform a few times; but he still doesn't have a suitcase or law book. I did purchase a kid friendly book about the constitution and the bill of rights. I am planning for the next year of school for him. (I will expand on that topic - prepping for next year's school- later.)

Two years ago, the cousins came for an extended visit. My husband and I noticed and discussed the fact that every time my nephew saw a police officer, he became visibly disturbed. We watched the movie Courageous with him. Problem? He did not identify with the good "Black" cop. He identified with the drug dealers in the movie. We would see him imitating the behavior of "TJ" (head bad guy) in the movie! What do you do???

We introduced him to every police officer (and fireman) we came into contact with...even if it was an incovenience. It became sort of a game. Anytime the boys saw an officer, they yelled out excitedly, "Police Officer!", or "Sherriff!" When Sir returned this year, it was like he hadn't left (in this area, at least😊). The game continued. I am sure that all the stickers, speeches, and extra positive attention had a great effect on both of the boys...and the girls.

A few situations have happened that have caused me to really stop think about what we are trying to accomplish with all this police praise.

1. I was pulled over, treated rudely, and given an unjust ticket....with my son in the car! We were headed to the airport to pick up my husband and daughter. They had surprised Grandpa in California for his birthday. I was listening to an audio book while driving. The other 3 kids were IN THEIR SEATBELTS enjoying the ride. I saw the lights of a highway patrolman, who had been tailing me, come on behind my car! I had seen him a mile back and thought nothing of it. I wasn't speeding, or doing anything else wrong, so I didn't worry. I was shocked when he pulled me over, asked for my papers, and accused my son of "walking around in the back seat". Not just being unbuckled; but completely out of his seat and walking around. Anyone who knows us, knows that is a complete lie. What do I look like having my only son, 4 years old,unbuckled, walking around in the back of my car, on the highway, windows rolled down (AC broken), in the middle of the Summer?!? I'll wrap this little tale up, cause I'm getting upset all over again!!! I went to court - over an hour away from home - twice. In the end, I didn't have to pay the ticket because the officer never showed up for court. He was out on an extended medical leave for throat surgery and no one knew when he would return (according to his officer friend). Coincidence? I think not! I know God is real and that He heard the petition of His child who was treated unjustly and embarrassed by a man in uniform in front of her children.

2. A few months later, I was home doing the dishes. The kids and I noticed that a police officer was parked on the church property (next door), watching for speeders. They excitedly ran inside and asked if they could go say "hello!" to him. I allowed them to go and sent some pecan pie with them.

He came again a few days later and they greeted him with smiles and oranges (I was out of pie!). He came over and thanked us for our generosity, warm welcome, and snacks. He gave the kids stickers and allowed them to look inside the car. This is where the story takes a turn. He only showed them the back seat! I don't know if there is some rule about not letting kids or others see inside the front; but this bothered me. Did he even consider showing them anything other than what the law breakers see?

3. This third situation brings me to the main point of this whole post. Recently I was reading Proverbs thirty-one. Usually, I sort of skim through the first nine verses and focus on the last 20 or so. This is the chapter about how to be a virtuous woman, right? This day was a little different.

I was aware that this passage was written by a queen - a mother, teaching her son. Maybe it was her last words to him before he went off into the world, or even became king. What did she think was important for him to know. I saw five things:

First, she called him king Lemuel. The name/word Lemuel (according to my sources - wikipedia and "she knows" baby names) means "devoted to, or belonging to God"; or "the king to whom God spoke". How Beautiful! My desire is for my sons to be devoted to God and for God to speak to them daily as they grow in the Lord.

Second, she charged him to be chaste. There is noting like a rotten woman to rob a man of all his potential and ruin his life.(v.3)

Third, she encouraged him to be a man of justice. I am reminded of Micah 6:8. God said that doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God is not only good; but required of all of us. (v. 5,8,9)

Fourth, to have mercy. To know when to have mercy requires discernment. (v.8,9)

Fifth, to be characterized by sobriety and temperance. ( v.4 - 7)

Last of all, she describes to him the "perfect" or "model" wife/queen. (v.10 - 31)

What does all this have to do with the movie Courageous and my recent experiences with the "Cops"?

As a mother, I am given direction from the word of God what to focus on as I teach my sons. It doesn't matter what my experiences are; I am to continue to praise and lift up the position of enforcing the law and ensuring peace in our community, country, and world. When we encounter those who abuse that position, or forget the power of their words and actions; we must remind ourselves and our children that EVERY human being makes the choice daily to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God; or not. We don't curse the whole process or institution because of individuals who make bad choices. There will be days when we make bad choices. Every sane person wants justice when they have been wronged. Every sane person wants mercy when they have done wrong. It takes a unique person of great discernment to hold the office deciding when to give which. It is my hope that God will help us to equip our little Raymond with the tools and knowledge to be the man of justice he admires so much.

Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them; Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished. And seek the peace of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away captives, and pray unto the Lord for it: for in the peace thereof shall ye have peace.

-Jeremiah 29:5-7

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

- Matthew 5:9

Raymond is making sure the laundry is sorted properly.😉

Until Next Time,

Love Note

2019-04-25T23:49:00.002-04:00

Lunchbox Love Note

by Kenn Nesbitt

Inside my lunch to my surprise

a perfect heart-shaped love note lies.

The outside says, "Will you be mine?"

and, "Will you be my valentine?"

I take it out and wonder who

would want to tell me "I love you."

Perhaps a girl who's much too shy

to hand it to me eye to eye.

Or maybe it was sweetly penned

in private by a secret friend

Who found my lunchbox sitting by

and slid the note in on the sly.

Oh, I'd be thrilled it were Jo,

the cute one on the second row.

Or could it be from Jennifer:

Has she found out I'm sweet on her?

My mind's abuzz, my shoulders tense.

I need no more of this suspense.

My stomach lurching in my throat,

I open up my little note.

Then Wham! as if

it were a bomb,

inside it reads,

"I love you-Mom."

This is a cute, little poem I found in search of something for our church bulletin last Mother's Day.
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Until Next Time,