LaLa Land

To Do or Not To Do

2011-03-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

Which is worse?

a) Losing someone because you’re afraid to love them

b) Holding on to someone who doesn’t love you because you’re too afraid of losing them

For most it would seem that option b would be the worst. It is a type of masochism after all, self inflicting suffering because we know the person that we love does not love us. And even so we keep at it, waiting for them to make the decision for us – break it off or realize that you DO love me. The problem is we can’t force someone to feel a certain way, and we most certainly cannot demand anything from anyone. If we decide to chase after something that has already been lost then all we will find is disappointment, and of course heart break. But, in a way we know all this – in a twisted way we know what we’re doing is wrong, and no one is hurting us other than ourselves. We suffer because we want to, and it’s one of the worst feelings. All you can ask yourself is, why? Why doesn’t he love me back? Why did he stop loving me? Why can’t it just be simple? Why can’t this work? Why, why why? Well, the good thing about this question is that there is an answer to it. Either it be because he met someone else, you were too clingy, he wants to focus on other things and doesn’t have time for a relationship – it can be complete BS, BUT, there is an answer to Why?

On the other hand, there is NO answer for What If? Which is the one which I believe is the worst option – a. Losing someone because you are too afraid to commit is the worst for me, because you leave things floating in the air, you never took the chance to see if it would work. Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all? Yes! Being afraid is no good – but holding on to something you know has no future will end eventually. There will be suffering but it will go away with time. Not knowing what could have happened will only grow with time. Why break off something that you don’t know yet will work or not. Why would you be so afraid of trying? I say jump off the diving board, you will either sink or swim – but you tried, and now you KNOW!

Being left with what if is a horrible feeling, you make up so many alterantive endings to that story that you keep wondering and wondering, and you go back to see where you could have done something and your life could have changed. We live and we learn, but if we’re too afraid to to actually live, then what will we learn? Not doing something is what you will probably regret down the line, than having done something and failed.

For me, losing someone because you’re too afraid to love them is the worst. Its better to look back and know you tried, than be left wondering what could have been. Take the risk, I may be more of an optimist than I thought, but you never know – it might work out!

Losing the Race

2010-06-02T11:09:00.000-07:00

Ever hear the phrase “Easier said than done”? Of course you have, who hasn’t? It’s an undeniable truth, and one of the most annoying truth’s at that. We all tend to know better, but how many of us actually have the discipline to do what we preach? It’s hard to do the right thing; it’s hard to go through with the goals we set for each other…. It’s just hard to follow ones own advice.
For example, I set a goal for myself to begin writing again, to think of new things to write about, to share new experiences, stories, research, etc… and so far, nada! I’m still blocked, still can’t think of anything new to write about. I also set a goal to re-activate my healthy lifestyle (eat right, exercise more, bla bla bla)- I’ve done it once I can do it again… right? Well, this time around I’ve found that it’s hard to stay on track – on a lot of things.
I don’t know why I just keep changing directions, keep hitting walls, and can’t seem to get over the hurdle. My problem? Easy, lack of the right motivation.
For most people, motivation is an external factor (new clothes, money, a trip, etc…). They use these “prizes” as their main motivating factors to do what they need to do in order to get them complete their task. We’ve been trained to react this way since we were kids – if you go to the doctor you get a lollipop at the end of the visit, if you go visit your grandparents you’re guaranteed a plate full of cookies, and the list goes on and on. I’m not saying that this type of rewarding motivation is bad, it’s just more of a short term solution.
Take for example dieting, you’ve been practically starving yourself for an entire week; what do you do (or are supposed to do) at the end of the week – reward yourself for your hard work, and the first thing you do is splurge on a piece of cheesecake, or you go on a shopping spree. This is where most of us go wrong, the reward is in the result itself, it’s within you – and that’s exactly where our motivation should be coming from in the first place.
Intrinsic motivation is the factor I seem to be lacking, and it is the one thing I truly need. Who is going to reward me for writing? Who is going to reward me for eating an apple rather than a brownie? I’m going to reward myself - but to be honest I can do that without even achieving my goals. So, extrinsic motivation isn’t going to help me in the long wrong. My internal desire to do better, and to actually do what I want to do will give me the discipline to go through with it.
It’s interesting how I already know the solution, but have yet to really discover my actual problem – why can’t I get over my writer’s block? I obviously want to write otherwise I wouldn’t have entered this text, but the real problem is rather I haven’t found anything yet worth sharing I guess. Like I said, easier said, than done. Let’s see what my internal motivator has to say…

Thinking of Yester-Year

2010-05-25T23:31:00.001-07:00

“You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.”

I can’t help but think back at the best times of my life. Life is definitely a rollercoaster ride, full of ups and downs, full of memories – some we remember fondly, others we just think of as a blur in time. I don’t know about you, but especially when I’m down, I like to reminisce on the good times that have passed, and pathetically wish to be able to go back and experience them all over again.

Is it pathetic? Or is it a bit inevitable, to yearn for the good old days. Even though what you have going on in the present is quite good, there’s just something about wanting to go back - after all “Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”

Some may say it’s not beneficial to be stuck in the past, to try and do it all over again. They say those times have gone, and it is now time to focus on the future. We have our memories to take us back like a little time machine, but if we wish to move forward then we have to focus on our dreams. Is it possible that both these suggestions might be slightly wrong? Isn’t the present the most important phase of time? Isn’t that the one thing we should be focused on?

There’s nothing wrong with feeling a bit nostalgic ever once in a while, we wish to be young again, to re-live those zany adventures (however big or small), we were having the time of our lives and we shouldn’t stop ourselves from remembering. What we should be careful of is getting stuck in the past. Trying to actually, literally, re-live those moments when you know they were good then but wouldn’t really work out right now. It’s also not such a great idea to get lost in dreams, if we think too much about the future we tend to lose sight of the present – and thus won’t be able to acquire even more great memories, other great times in which we can think back on and say – what a great day that was, what an amazing vacation, so much fun just hanging out, learning, travelling, taking risks, going to the beach, drinks with my friends… and the list keeps adding on and on.

Like they say, “a moment lasts only seconds, but a memory lasts a lifetime”. Smile about the good times that have passed, learn from the bad ones, keep pushing towards your dreams, and always do your best to live in the now – otherwise you won’t have any memories to be able to reminisce on.

A New Leaf

2010-05-12T16:27:00.000-07:00

I figure I've spent my days writing about frustrations in life - especially in work. When you're part of the Entertainment Industry (film, tv, music, etc...) it drains you of so much of your passion sometimes that you get sidetracked. I've been expressing and exposing these issue that have annoyed me and my colleagues for a while now, and I think I've proven my point. When I started this blog, it was meant more to incite motivation and allude change.

They say that the tried-and-true method can only work for so long, so hopefully I will have more positive things to write about in the following months. I've decided to leave work frustrations at work and focus on more lifestyle crusades to write about instead. So, bare with me as I brainstorm ideas regarding psychology, sociology, the arts, political issues, etc... hopefully making each subject relevant to the daily reader.

Cheers to getting out of my comfort zone... let's see where this takes me

Eye of the Beholder

2010-05-12T16:15:00.000-07:00

A Room with a view, wouldn’t that be nice. It might perhaps be a lavish penthouse suite, or a very spacious modern office at the top of a prestigious building (which might as well end up being your penthouse suite), or you might be staying on vacation at one of the top rooms at an exclusive hotel. Whichever room it might be is not what’s truly important, what does matter is the view.
A view from the top means nothing if you’re looking down at ant size people walking around, feeling like you’re better than them. A view of a wall (from the building next door) also doesn’t help in appreciating ones environment. Your view from whichever room you choose needs to be one thing among others – it need to be yours.
Our perceptions are our windows to ourselves, to our manner of thinking and of viewing the world. It doesn’t matter where we are as long as we can have a room with a view – meaning, geography shouldn’t become a factor as long as your view is one of optimism.
You could be at a grand hotel in Paris, looking at the Eifel Tower from your room. Or you could be in New York overlooking Central Park. If you perceive your vision in a pessimistic nature, then that is where you’ve lost yourself in a fog of negativity. Rather than viewing the Park, or the historic monument as just something to look at, or not wanting to take part of going and enjoying these sites because it’s too much of a hassle; try to appreciate what you are looking at. Try to find the greatness in your views of the world, big or small, it doesn’t matter. As long as you take a second to acknowledge your surroundings and appreciate the good, the better off you’ll be and the more your view will increase with happiness and beauty.
If this sounds a bit too fluffed up for you, then look at the facts. Research shows that in order to be more optimistic and happy one should invest more in experiences – the more you spend on experiences rather than on material things, the better you’ll feel in the long run. Stories will only get better with time, as opposed to material things which will eventually have no more use for you. People should also learn to be present, savor the moments and start noticing the good things around them. You don’t necessarily have to stop what you’re doing, just try to be mindful of your actions and acknowledge those moments, which you might not get to experience again.
People who are optimistic are also by nature strivers, they are always pushing, never conforming, and always having to adjust and re-adjust. This is good because it gives them drive and motivation, which make them more likely to reach their goals, and eventually set up more goals – giving them a long list of accomplishments to be proud of.
Just to be clear, happiness and optimism are not the same. Happiness is about today, while optimism is about tomorrow. To be continuously in a good frame of mind will eventually get you to feel happy on a daily basis. And to consistently be on the look out for good things coming your way will suffice your optimistic views of life. They are both key elements to finding success, and great allies to have in this (sometimes frustrating) life. It’s not just about having a room with a great view anymore, you need to a) be able to create your own view and b) be able to appreciate it as well.

Running to Catch Up

2010-05-06T10:01:00.000-07:00

What is normal vs. what is normalized...Why do we rationalize our surroundings when we know it's not the best environment?

I believe it is normal to feel - to be frustrated, happy, sad, etc... and be able to express ourselves. To normalize something happens when we conform to our environments, and to those who believe to be in authority. Of course, I am not advocating for people to have meltdowns and tantrums at the workplace - there is a place and time to blatantly expressourselves, but still it doesn't mean we should just let things rolls off our backs (unless it doesn't really affect us, or unless we really don't care). To have thick skin to many means to be able to roll withh the punches, to not let things get to you... To me, it means to normalize outstanding behavior - to normalize being yelled at, getting stressed over the most insignificant detail, becoming the butler, maid, go-to person whenever your boss needs an emergency psychology session... all this gets rationalized as paying your dues, it's part of the "hazing" that everyone goes through - it's how the weak get separated from the strong; or rather how the normal get de-sensitized to be able to take the worst from the worst.

My question is, is this process really worth it? Is it necessary or can there be another way to prove whether or not a person belongs to the industry? Some people might say why mess with something that has been going on for years? Well because as times change people do as well - everything evolves on some scale.. and are those left behind truly those who are the strongest from the bunch? or are they the ones who slowly loose their common sense and normalize their surroundings in order to reach the top? How effecient have these people proven to be?

For example, by challenging newcomers with tasks that actually have something to do with the job at hand? Giving them projects to analyze, simulate a meeting and make them work under real pressure; by actually showing them what it means to do your job and seeing if they have what it takes if far greater than having them run around like headless chickens, screaming at them for not getting your coffee right, etc... is worthless in my eyes. Maybe by initiating them into the workforce, rather than hazing them for a year or so, there would be more competent and content people working out there.

The last thing a recent grad (or anyone for that matter) wants to do is become an insignificant tool within a company. Us youngesters want to prove ourselves. So, give us real responsibilities and we will show you just how productive and beneficil we can be.

This however, is a vicious cycle which can only start to change if WE do something about it. We have a voice, we have motives, and we have skills. Things would run more efficiently if we wouldn't normalize this hazing ritual, and instead re-make the workplace into a normal environment where conforming is substituted with compromise and not with being exploited.

Too Much or Not Enough

2010-03-07T22:38:00.000-08:00

Do you re-call me previous blog entry: “Pushing and Shoving”? Well, just to summarize, I touched upon the reality for most recent graduates who have been having a hard time finding a job due to their lack of experience. I still stand by what I said, but now, after talking to some friends who were previously employed and now are back at zero – I’ve realized they are having the same difficulties in getting new jobs as well. The reason? Too much experience.
Ironic huh? In other words, due to the on-going recession (the Government isn’t fooling anyone, we’re still hurting) the majority of companies have gone to extreme measures and have had to cut their budgets – meaning less money for employees. So by hiring people who are barely starting, they can get away with paying them next to nothing. That’s right; minimum wage is no longer the norm for just McDonald’s workers. Having a Bachelor’s degree doesn’t seem to make that much of a difference in monetary terms – at least not in the Entertainment Industry. Sucks, I know.
So, what incentives are these media people offering young eager people who already have experience and want to take the next step in their careers? Or for those unfortunate others who had to be laid off? Beats me. The potential to learn and grow within a company, or the promise that if you work hard for a year or two will eventually pay off when taking the next step seems like a dream of yester-year. Working your butt off nowadays means that you will continue to pay your dues until some form of miracle happens and you finally get the job you always wanted – and even then you will have to keep digging deep to keep it and you will have to work just as hard to continue to love it. Sounds like taking the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of a job right? Wrong.
The incentive to work in such a difficult environment is no longer external. You gain experience everyday, you meet new people everyday, network anywhere you can (if you meet the Director of Creative Affairs of a major studio in the bathroom you need to find a way to introduce yourself – easier if you’re a girl, just compliment her shoes); being able to grow in the right direction is now up to YOU. And the drive that keeps you going in a seemingly unfair trade is your passion for the Industry, your belief in writing, directing, producing, acting, representing the crème de la crème, etc… In today’s world, you need to be in charge of your motivation. Our incentives are internal; we push ourselves and put up with so much bull in order to get to the next step. Once we reach it, we realize that you have to continue to push, reach, fight, and yes, cry your way to the top.
Anyone who enters the realms of Hollywood knows it’s not an easy task. Rejection is not just for actors or models, “thick skin” is required but it’s not as important as having a strong belief in yourself. We are here for a purpose, and unfortunately it will take us a bit of time to find out what that purpose is. It doesn’t matter really, everything changes, we will have our ups and downs, but as long as we maintain focus on our dreams and passions, I’m sure we’ll be able to survive this struggle. Rejection is not really all that personal – overqualified, under-qualified, chemistry, competence; these are mere factors that shouldn’t play such a gigantic role in our work life. If you have a passion for the industry and are able to communicate it efficiently to the right person, you are very likely to land that dream job and keep pushing – because this is what you chose, this is where you want to be, and all the sweat and tears will be worth it. Only the strong survive, and only you can build up that necessary strength. Don’t be discouraged if you had to start from scratch and no one is making you a great offer, it’s not really their true choice – so many factors align in these decisions that it’s unfair for both parties sometimes. And if you have little experience and are having a tough time finding an entry level job, the same goes for you, all you need to do is show how much you are willing to invest in your work and how much it will pay off for both. Passion is key for most things in life, but right now, it’s an integrate part of putting yourself on the map and positioning yourself in the right direction. Whenever you feel discouraged, remind yourself of why you are here, why you want to be a Producer, Director, etc… and you’ll be able to continue moving. And if you can’t think of why, then I suggest you re-evaluate your situation - maybe this wasn’t the right place for you after all. There’s no shame, as long as you are able to find your passion and drive, you are one step closer to being where you’ve always wished to be, but most importantly, to be where you deserve to be.

Building Blocks

2010-03-02T12:03:00.000-08:00

Leaving your mark on the world is beyond difficult for me to even wrap my mind around. There is a vast ocean of things one could do, and places and industries where one could work in, that to choose one thing seems limited and unfair. We’re not used to thinking about our capabilities in more than one thing, but to be honest it’s what we’ve always done. In school we would juggle 8 different classes in one day, we would then come home from school and go to other classes like dance, piano, soccer, tennis, etc… Then when in high school, most students get part time jobs, same goes for college students. We’ve been multitasking for a while now, so why would we decide to stick with just one thing now that we’re all grown up (and so much more capable). My question is, if you were working at X company, and were suddenly able to establish your very own company, a) would you do it? And b) what would your company be?
There are a lot of people that are content with being the employee, there’s less pressure and stress trying to carry an entire company (no matter how small it might be), doing your job and receiving a pay check is enough for them. This doesn’t mean they are less passionate about their jobs than others; it’s just more comforting to be taken care of than to take care of others. To be fully responsible for your staff and company transactions, doing every thing possible for your company to thrive is very risky and nerve racking. But, to be the boss has its very nice advantages too. You run the place, no one moves unless you approve, and if you’re successful you can run more companies and be the overall “big man on campus.” Not a bad way to live, huh? Especially when you’re ambitious.
Well, I’ve been employed for roughly over a year now, and I think I like the idea of being your own boss, rather than following instructions and doing things for other people. Don’t get me wrong, I love to help out and be productive, not to mention that great feeling of “I pulled off a miracle!!!” - but sometimes I just want to do my own thing on my won time. It’s really hard to be your own boss in the Film Industry; most people are actually independent contractors – especially those who work on film sets. But, to form your own company when you’re just starting out is one of the most difficult things to do in Hollywood. You lack sooo much experience when you first get here, it’s not even funny. Everyone here starts from the very bottom (unless your Spielberg’s kid, and even then you’re not guaranteed a big position when you first start). The Entertainment Industry is like no other; there are no set rules, everything is more of an understanding and there are a number of rites of passage. However, there is no better way to learn than through experience here, and for that you need to start as an Assistant.
Everyone in LaLa Land knows exactly what being an assistant is, and to be honest, it’s not for everyone. Confused? Let me clear it up. Being an assistant in Hollywood is not the same as being a secretary. Being an assistant to a Film Producer, Agent, Manager, Executive, Studio Head, etc… is being their shadow, their go-to person, their apprentice and their “punching bag”, among other famed titles like business manager, banker, driver, doctor, and the famed and loathed title of Psychologist.
It’s really not what people sign up for, but it’s the first step to making it here. If you can survive the first 2 years of being an assistant, you can survive just about anything. You learn the business, how to be resourceful, creative, and efficient – not to mention, learning some pretty useful survival techniques. Once this “boot camp-like/hell week” is over, you’re off to your next step. Here is where you may actually have the ability to choose your area of expertise. But, it has come with a price, you slaved for 2 years and you still have a long way to go to reach the top. Unfair? I’d say so. But, it’s the way it has always been so, no one does anything – they all just complain, ALL of them.
I don’t plan on ruffling any feathers here in Hollywood, nor am I going to try to create a rebellion against the Hollywood Monarchy. But, I do wish I could build up my own company within the Industry, and slowly create positive change. It’s going to take a while, but hopefully in the end it’ll be worth it. There have been a lot of people of have actually tried to establish a company based on morale, but have failed at the hand of the blood sucking Industry – no wonder the vampire trend has yet to lose speed. However, there might still hope, after all Hollywood movies are famed for their happily-ever-after endings.
So, referring back to my question, if I were able to establish my own company would I do it? Yes! In a heartbeat. What type of company would it be? I would love to create a corporation and have a variety of diverse companies under it – film production, talent management, maybe a magazine, some franchises, etc… the number of options are limitless, no matter what anyone says. Why not try out different things and be good at more than just one thing? We all have various skills that can be channelled to different things. So, instead of criticizing celebrities for trying to do it all, get inspired. Come one, if the Olsen twins could form a very profitable Empire by the time they turned 18, you can certainly put on your thinking cap, and see what innovative business you can integrate to the world.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

2010-02-17T13:40:00.000-08:00

Whistling while you work is one thing, but sneezing while you work is not cool. Annoying your co-workers whilst you whistle isn’t so bad, you can just stop and/or switch to humming – irritating your co-workers can be funny… sometimes. But, when you’re sick and sneezing, couching, and not making any sense when you speak then that is no fun at all. A) You feel crummy and are not properly motivated (or capable) of working. B) Your co-workers will treat you like the plague or a leper (no one wants to get sick, so they’ll maintain their distance). And C) staying at home and sleeping is your best bet, but it’s not really an acceptable thing to do. In a nutshell, being sick sucks, and it’s worse when you have to work.
Most companies give their employee’s “sick days” from which they are allowed to call in sick without feeling guilty of not going to work and thus delaying a deal or leaving clients high and dry. Unfortunately, in my industry, calling in sick makes you look like a wimp; everyone is expected to come in to work no matter how sick (or hungover) you are. If you have a migraine, take Exedrin; have a cold, DayQuil; etc… No one ever tells their employees to take the day off and get some rest, and most of us feel guilty asking, we would hate for it to translate into an excuse to just not come in. You’ve probably seen your boss working 24/7 no matter how stressed out and sick they might be, so you don’t want to be considered the weak link just because your body functions differently. Many of the execs and heads of companies can afford the best doctors and medicine, thus they are able to work with out the need of rest because of all the “superman” pills they take. We on the other hand are stuck with over the counter stuff that only works temporarily, and most of the time we don’t even take what we should – what do we know? If the bottle says it will take care of a fever, nose congestion, headache, stomach pains, and irritated eyes we’ll take it even though our main problem is a soar throat. We don’t know any better when it comes to over the counter medication, and we don’t know any better when it comes to calling in sick.
Would you rather call in sick on a day you don’t feel 100% and you’d rather just skip working and stay at home watching TV – sort of like skipping class. Or, would you rather call in sick because you have an interview for a waaay better job and don’t want anyone to find out about it until you actually get it? I’m guessing you’d opt for both. But, then comes this little irritating reality (at least for me) called karma. If you called in sick on a day that you actually could have gone to work without a problem, then eventually your lie will catch up to you. With all the extra stress and guilt of making up excuses, you’ll end up actually being sick– enough not to be able to go to work, but you’ll have to suck it up because you called in sick last week, so calling in sick again will only perpetuate your image of being a weak little person who will use the “sick excuse” any chance they get. It’s a no win situation if you ask me.
So, is it worth telling these little white lies to get out of going to work? Or will it come back to bite you in the end? In an ideal world, work would be like school – if you really don’t feel well, then you can stay at home watching TV as you drift in and out of sleep. When you get back you will have a whole lot of catching up to do, but at least now you’ll be clear-headed and properly capable of dealing with your responsibilities and stress. In the real world, I say, be prepared to issue those little white lies every once in a while, but also anticipate that you might have to use them again very soon – and you’ll need a different plan to carry it out. Outsmart your boss, and be wise about the choices you make at work. Like the saying goes, if you’re going to do something wrong, then do it right. And, if you truly are sick and know that you’ll recover faster by staying at home, then call in sick – you’re more of a coward if you prefer not to call, than calling because you need rest. In the end it’s just a job; your health and happiness is way more important and should be number one on your list of priorities – it’s better not to get paid on a sick day, than to get fired for having sneezed in your bosses face, or being so out of it that you email the wrong person confidential information about the company.
And if you have an in at another place for a better job, then take it and see what happens – you might miss out on something really good if you decide to not risk it and stay in the same place with no hope of moving up. It’s your health, your career and your future; do whatever you think is best, and make the necessary sacrifices only when necessary.

Down the Road Apiece

2010-02-06T22:43:00.001-08:00

When I talk or write about something I have a strong opinion about, I tend to express myself in a very animated and affective manner. It might become misinterpreted as a negative energy coming from a source of anger. I know I might speak with some intensity, but in my perspective, I’m just simply saying what I think and believe. There are certain subjects that I am very passionate about, and there are others that bring out frustrations.
In this day and age I can assure you that there are more frustrations than contentment around the world. And all I’m trying to do via this blog is bring awareness to what others might be dealing with in the hope that they might feel comforted knowing that they share their dilemmas and unfairness with others. It’s not so much that misery loves company; rather, it’s more of a let’s try to turn that frown upside down type of thing.
In bringing awareness to these situations I am trying to keep my values and priorities in order, preaching without the ability to back it up isn’t really my way of being. If you read between the lines of what I write about, you’ll realize I’m emphasizing the unfairness and inequalities that some people (mostly those of my generation) might be going through. They might be serious, or they might be mundane frustrations, I try to give them a glimmer of hope in that things will eventually get better. But, you have to work at helping your situation – no fairy godmother or genie is going to wish your worries away. If you want to be happy, you have to find ways to deal with your concerns in order to achieve your goal, rather than looking the other way and just faking it.
It’s a true sadness that in today’s world, being realistic has become associated with being bitter and negative. Thinking in realistic terms doesn’t mean that you can’t be a romantic and a dreamer. Being realistic is knowing what you want, what you are capable of, and how to reach your goal. Being realistic is knowing who you are, and not being bothered with the need to conform into what you think you should be in order to have people think of you a certain way. I feel blessed in the sense that I know who I am, and I’m ok with it. I don’t feel the need to convince anyone of my opinions or manner of being, I just am.
Through my writing, I show you who I am little by little – you get to know my interests, perspectives, motivations and of course, my opinions. The subjects I parlay don’t necessarily apply to me (not everything is personal), but they might apply to others – including you Dear Reader. All I am responsible of is shining a small light on the situations I see happening around me. Unfortunately some of them might have a negative appeal, but you will (hopefully) realize that in each of my blogs there is a moral to the story – life doesn’t have to be so complicated and down, it really sucks if it is BUT you need to be aware of your surroundings in order to be able to help change them into something better for yourself and for others. Whining is unacceptable if you’re not doing something about it.
I grew up watching Disney movies religiously, and so I’ve grown up learning how to read between the lines – and before you even start, no, this is not an expose on the racist and anti-feminist underlying tendencies of the Disney characters – my point is, if you remember these Disney films, you’ll see that they all had to struggle in someway in their journey in order to get their “happily ever after.” This very notion is embedded in my way of viewing life: nothing is perfect, and it doesn’t need to be; there is a solution to each problem; you need to learn how to fight for yourself; and most importantly for me, you have to learn how to be yourself and be able to express who you are without fear. If Belle from “Beauty and the Beast” would have let the townspeople win, she wouldn’t have set the Beast free. Right?? Like I said you have to read between the lines, not everything is spelled out for us, and it is our job to interpret these messages as best we can to help our situation. This is the main reason for why I started this blog, so that I can be able take things off my chest and try to find ways to make these concerns turn into better situations.
I take time to enjoy the good things in life, being grateful for what I have and the people I get to call friends. But I also don’t blind myself or turn my back to the bad. Having said that, I want to thank those who have taken the time to read what I have to say – it truly means a lot to me, and I hope you’ve been able to relate to what I write about in some way. We’re all in the same boat trying to reach land (our goal of happiness and fulfilment). All I ask is that you help me row, so we can get their together (& faster ☺).

Speak from the Heart

2010-01-27T18:11:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or have you become just as overwhelmed with all the headlines the press has been shooting our way lately – Haiti (globally important), President’s State of the Union address (politically important), Golden Globes (important for Hollywood), SAG Awards (important for Actors), launch if the iPad (important for technology), US still in national debt (politically and economically important), the Australian Open (athletically important), Avatar biggest grossing movie of all time (important to the industry, economy, and James Cameron), etc…. obviously there’s a lot more going on, BUT, just you wait… in two weeks all the frenzy, believe it or not –will be revolving around Valentine’s Day. Sad, but true. With so much going on, it is very likely that people will want to use this day as an excuse to escape and be selfish and superficial and just want to celebrate the love in their lives without any judgment or guilt. I understand, and am on board with taking a break for the harsh reality we live in. However, the actual meaning of this holiday has been distorted over the years and has come to mean something different not just to people across the country, but to people across the world as well. When did all the lovey dovey nonsense surpass the celebration of love all around?

The army of cupcakes, heart shaped cookies and cakes; red and pink balloons, flowers; cards and billboards; chocolates, champagne and strawberries will be invading us very soon. We live in a society where heart shaped candy that says “I Love You” is an acceptable tool to use when the words simply can’t seem to come out of you own heart. This is a holiday in which actions (and materialism) actually speak louder than words. I don’t get it…

A friend of mine sends me a daily horoscope, so that I can “be prepared for whatever the day may bring me”. None of it every happens, but it’s still kind of comforting to be prepared for something than for nothing. This week I have been receiving horoscopes that highlight my love life – if I’m already in a relationship, then it will only get better; if I’m single, then the love of my life is just around the corner. The timing couldn’t be more perfect – Valentine’s Day is on it’s way, and I am getting positive cosmic vibes telling me that I will soon find love, and thus will be able to celebrate it.

I have observed some cultural differences in the way this day of love is perceived around the world – and I’ve noticed that people in the U.S. nowadays take this day way more seriously than others do. For example, in France, a "High Court of Love" was established in Paris on Valentine's Day in 1400. The court dealt with love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women. In Latin America the day is known as “Day of Love and Friendship,” in Finland it is known as “Friends Day,” in Portugal “Day of Lovers,” and the list goes on and on…. There are so many meanings behind this day, but the one that surpasses them here in the states is “Single Awareness Day” a.k.a. SAD (ironic). On Singles Awareness Day, single people gather to celebrate or to commiserate in their single status – isn’t that the same as getting together with friends, family? Do you really need to be attached to someone romantically to appreciate and celebrate this holiday?
In my opinion, I think it is absurd to exaggerate ones expression of love for life, family, friends, and loved ones on this specific day. If you love someone (anyone) this should be expressed and appreciated every single day. If you truly feel lucky to have these people in your life, then that is something they should know on a regular basis. Why hype up the holiday and add pressure on people who are happy just as they are - not needing to buy presents, and pay for expensive dinners, or feel bad that they are single, or in an unhappy relationship. Generalizing what you should be doing on this day, it A) throws the “surprise factor” out the window B) everything now is a complete cliché C) it builds pressure around a relationship (especially for the guy) D) it excludes people.

In order to make a reservation at one of the nicest restaurants for this day, you have to call 3 months in advance, otherwise forget about it. Chocolates are used more by single people as a way of eating their emotions, cards are floating all over the place saying sentimental romantic phrases because you (the person in love) couldn’t come up with anything to say? Really? By buying in to this generic form of celebration it makes people spend money they could have used for something else, it makes women have extremely high expectations for this day to be perfect – will he propose? Where will he take me? What surprise does he have for me? For guys, it makes them feel like the have to do something extra special for their girl on this day (if they remember).

Showing someone how much you love them is the best form of expression, but, it shouldn’t be limited to this one specific day just because someone decided to make February 14 into the “universal” day of love. Everyday love, in general, should be appreciated and expressed – when it’s gone it is one of the most horrible emotions one can feel, and not having cherished it on a daily basis may become a great regret in the future. So if you are married, in a relationship, yes celebrate this day with the your loved one, but don’t limit yourself to showing how much you care for them to only happen on Valentine’s Day. Also, include all the rest of the people you love and appreciate having in your life – family and friends are truly precious and shouldn’t be taken for granted either. And if you are single, please don’t be S.A.D., it isn’t the end of the world, and there are plenty of people you can share this day with who love you and feel lucky to have you in their lives. Valentine’s Day is coming at us full throttle, will you succumb to its pressures, or will you take it as any other day and continue to spread the love just like you do through out the year? I say let Peace and Love reign!

They Need Your Help

2010-01-20T16:02:00.001-08:00

It’s sad how a tragedy needs to occur to get one’s priorities in order. The Haiti earthquake disaster has shifted the world’s attention, and has given us a reason to do good for others. Disasters like these will push us back to the “good” people we know we can be, some turn to prayer even though they haven’t been very religious for a long time. Others create charities, fundraisers, and events to bring awareness and raise the necessary money for doctors, re-construction, food, shelter, assistance of any and every sort. When we see tragedies unfold all over the world it can scare a lot of people, but it can also make them feel guilty for taking for granted everything they have in their lives.
What would you do if one day everything was taken from you, no home, no family, nothing. And everyone around you is in the same situation. You walk around where you used to live, lucky to still be alive, but in complete pain because you’ve lost everything dear to you. If I try to put myself in the shoes of all those orphans in Haiti, of the people who have lost their homes, of those trying to rescue and help – it’s too overwhelming, I honestly don’t know what I would do. I know what I would like to do – help; but at the same time I feel so powerless, and so guilty to be healthy and have my family – there are so many things that are taken for granted on a daily basis, replaced with superficial stupidity. I see people all the time with mixed up priorities, and it truly bothers me. In Hollywood a person is more likely to freak out and get furious over a salad that came without bacon when they very specifically ASKED FOR BACON! Or, they will spend the entire day grooming themselves to “perfection” spending money on nails, hair, clothes, expensive food (which shouldn’t be expensive in the first place – I’m sorry but $20 for a Caesar Salad? Ridiculous), but not pay their bills, their kids tuition, or even their staff. If they can’t get a table at a certain restaurant they get offended, if the Bentley they want isn’t in the color they want then they throw a fit. And then a worldwide wake up call happens and all of a sudden everyone remembers how to be (or at least act like) a decent human being. But how many of them actually do something about it? After the exposure is finished they go back to their plastic ways, and continue on with their “very important” daily routines; meanwhile the world is still suffering, still in need.
With so much to give very seldom people will do it, unless of course it makes them look good in the public’s eye. If Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are donating, then I will too. Please, that has nothing to do with helping out the poor people stricken with this disaster. Writing a check is only significant if you mean to help, if you check every day how things are going, if you can do anything else, send food, help raise awareness and bring to light all the necessary elements that could be put to good use.
It truly is sad that a tragedy has to occur to a) bring people together b) make people aware of worldwide news and events c) get us to put our priorities in order d) stop taking for granted what we indulge in every day – it’s interesting to think that health, family, food, etc.. are actual luxuries that some people don’t get to enjoy of.
Join me in helping the Haiti Earthquake relief, there are so many organizations out there trying their best to help the situation as much as possible – try to imagine yourself in their situation, and help them as you would like them to help you.

www.haitirelieffund.org
www.haitiaction.net/About/HERF/HERF.html
www.worldvision.org/
www.redcross.org/

No Child Left Behind

2010-01-12T17:53:00.001-08:00

Schools around the U.S. have taken a different route in their teaching and evaluation requirements, making it worse for students in the long run. “As deadlines approached for schools to start making passage of the exams a requirement for graduation, and practice tests indicated that large numbers of students would fail, many states softened standards, delayed the requirement or added alternative paths to a diploma.”

Wouldn’t it make more sense to better prepare students for college, rather than making it easier to pass a test, which may or may not even be useful to them. A true or false question, or a multiple choice question answered right, doesn’t make for better performance in college. Professors, teachers, parents and students need to step it up. Standardized tests have never been anyone’s favorite exam, but if it has gotten too difficult for students now, instead of making it easier for them, why not take a different approach. Essay questions and presentations might be a better way for getting kids to actually understand what they are learning and not just memorizing for the sake of an exam. Standardization of school material means that kids learn how to increase their memory for specific data, and soon after the exam is over, they are quick to dispose of the info. This is how schools teach kids to believe, rather than to think. Is this truly the best way to prepare kids for a college education? Or is watering down the tests to make it easier for them a better way? If test scores are down it might also mean that children have no interest or desire to try their best, and the economic situation as of late may have catapulted their apathetic view of education. For them it is something forced upon them, for teachers it is a job and their lack of pushing their students to reach their potential may also be a problem.

So, if standardized tests don’t really show how prepared a student is for life after high school, then what do they show? Or rather, why are they used? Is it a mechanism used for separating the weak from the strong? Who will be moving forward and who will end up working at a gas station? Or is it a way for the government to make more money? It makes no sense, we are all different, we learn differently, we express ourselves differently, so what if a multiple choice test is not our forte, but we might be a genius if you would just let us tell you what we learned and how it works? Will the school board listen, categorize the child as lazy, lacking knowledge or logic? How in the world is this fair?

When applying to a college, your SAT scores are important, I get that. But, what the admissions office really looks at are your essays, and the way you differentiate yourself from the rest. Any kid who is applying to a college is smart, they know that. What’s important is how they have used their knowledge, how their experiences have affected who they are and how they’ve handled themselves in life. Shouldn’t this type of expression and learning also be included in a child’s education?

The No Child Left Behind Act “calls for every state to set standards in reading and math, and for every student to be proficient at those subjects by 2014.” It was meant to be a motivator and potential mover. In reality it hasn’t done all that much other than ironically leave kids behind. It was meant to lift up the test scores for minority groups, but now it seems that kids in general are having a hard time with these tests, and making them easier won’t get them anywhere.

The Obama administration is set to use a “Congressional rewriting of the federal law later this year to toughen requirements on topics like teacher quality and academic standards and to intensify its focus on helping failing schools.” Let’s hope that by increasing educational quality all around will help get these kids motivated, interested and capable of taking on life after high school – it’s not easy, and by making it seem like it is will only jeopardize their futures.

All the World is a Stage

2010-01-11T23:17:00.000-08:00

Everybody loves a good scandal, as long as it’s happening to someone else, someone not all that real to us, someone we can hate/love without actually having to interact with them. Our ideal candidates? Public & political figures, celebrities, and as of lately athletes. It has gotten to a point where “we the public” can now dictate a person’s worth based on actions that have nothing to do with their profession. Is a candidate for presidency not capable of running office because he/she cheated on their spouse? We learned with Bill Clinton that it doesn’t matter, and whatever goes on in their personal lives is none of our concern. But, we love to humiliate the powerful and all mighty; show them their flaws and make them known all around. You are not so grand and your personal life is a mess, this is what we tell them in our own way. Well, wouldn’t that be their problem, not ours? The public’s “power” has transformed into a ridiculous judiciary system where we put these “public figures” on trial for all the world to judge. How do we know that what we are judging is even true? And shouldn't we be judging and checking that they do their job responsibly and as best they can?
Mel Gibson recently said he felt bad for Tiger Woods, and that the whole situation of his various infidelities is being blown way out of proportion – you think? "Why are we talking about this when we're sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan?” said Gibson... “He's being used as a diversion, and it just drives me crazy." I agree, there are so many other more important things happening in the world, things that actually have an effect on the great majority of the worlds inhabitants, and here we are watching headlines all over the place about Tiger Woods and what he did, the fact that he has decided to take a break from what has made him so great – he is an athlete, he very seldom failed as a pro; and now due to all the scrutiny about his personal issues he has decided to take a break from continuing to accomplish his dream. Sean Penn did the same when his marriage was falling apart; he took a break from acting after just having won an Academy Award. Interesting trend, as soon as these people reach an important accomplishment or success, they are quick to fall. Why should their personal lives matter to the public, and why should they affect their careers? There is no justification in their actions, and I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that they feel like they need to “act responsibly” in order to appease the public, rather than doing it for themselves. Where am I getting the idea that their attempts at reformation are for the public rather than for their families? Perhaps from their very public announcements? Or from the fact that we refuse to let them get away with it – boycott their films, endorsed products, etc… If they are going to reform that is great, but it should be done for them and their family, truly. Why make a speech, do an interview and address the issue, making it into something worthy of attention?
Is it their fault or ours as an audience? Both I guess. We tend to prefer soft news versus hard news, maybe because we are so used to fictionalized and sensationalized drama. We see it everywhere and it’s become easy to manipulate and create these events at our request. These public figures aren’t real to us, they are simply characters meant for our entertainment, everything about them is made up in our minds, made up by the press, made up by themselves- we forget they are real people. Isn’t it better to see a celebrity in yet another scandal than to see the reality of those poor people who are in grave danger on a daily basis finding themselves as collateral for a war they didn't wish upon themselves?
Some people might say that the news is a plethora of negativity, it’s just one catastrophe after another: death, disasters, war, hunger, poverty, etc… the list is never ending. Meanwhile, the tabloids are full of sensationalized stories that read like a soap opera, full of juicy gossip on people you don’t even know, but people you have come to love or hate a.k.a. “the popular crowd” people seen from afar, easy targets for gossip and bashing. I really don’t want to think that ignorance is the reason for why people would prefer reading about an actor/athlete gone wrong, rather than read about what bill’s are being passed by Congress, which issues are not being addressed by our government, etc… If the public can be so powerful as to control what we want to read and learn about, then we should be directing such focus on reality, on world events, on finding solutions to the many problems that plague our newsrooms. Yes, the world is not a perfect place, and neither are the people in it. I’m just asking that our attention be directed towards more substantial issues rather than who is dating whom. At this point I would have thought that we would be over the whole “high school” notion of what is newsworthy. So the man cheated on his wife, why on earth should you care? This problem is between him and his wife, and the reformation should be for the benefit of his family - that’s it, you are out of the picture, and so are all your judgements. Try to re-direct that anger towards this person you don’t even know, and focus on the evils of the world, try to think of ways to make it better. If you don’t want the news to be so negative then you shouldn’t be either. More important issues and situations need our attention. Be the powerful public that makes them come to light.

From Start to Finish

2010-01-10T16:40:00.000-08:00

To go big, you have to think small. Sounds contradicting right? Well with all the New Year Resolutions circling about that is exactly what the experts are advising. They say we need to set up short-term goals that you know you’ll accomplish, all the while not losing focus on the big picture. Hmm… seems easier said than done. But, it makes sense to take it step by step. I used to have that type of reasoning whenever I played tennis, focus on the next point, not the entire game. By playing each point individually I would play my best and eventually accomplish my goal. I wouldn’t get distracted, or concerned about how much longer I had to play in order to win, etc… The key is to stay focused on the big picture by breaking it into smaller pictures, which in the end will lead up to your very own movie.
It’s like when you have a jam-packed day at work, 100 things need to get done and before you even start you’re already stressed out of your mind. When this happens, you need to take a deep breath, and prioritize your tasks, make up a list and tackle them one by one. Before you know it you’ll have finished more than you thought.
This manner of rationalizing goals and accomplishments has been around for a long time now, taken for granted by civilians but greatly used by governments throughout time. Think about it, how do countries get taken over? The army doesn’t just rampage around the entire country taking down everything in site. They take over city by city, town by town until there’s no other choice than to surrender – the enemy is all around and there is no where else to turn to. Ok, that’s a little extreme.
A more relatable goal might be to run a marathon. That would be your long-term goal. How are you going to accomplish it? By setting smaller goals. I will run x amount of miles this week, I will change my diet, I will join a training group, etc… By accomplishing these short-term goals, you are most likely to run across that finish line.
Have you noticed that 99% of new years resolution are about improving oneself? Losing weight, quit smoking, be more conscientious about money… it’s like we’re making ourselves into failures before the year even starts, I don’t understand why.

365 days is a long time, and things might get side tracked, not a big deal. Why do we have to make ourselves start to improve right after New Years Eve. How many people said to themselves: this will be my last cigarette, this will be my last piece of cake, starting tomorrow I will practically be living at the gym, etc…And I will start my new lifestyle January 1st.

Improving oneself shouldn’t have a time frame, it should be continuous and you should start whenever you feel ready. Why can’t that be our long-term goal? To improve oneself on a daily basis. I bet that with that type of reasoning and practice, we could end up becoming better and better as the days pass. The point is to get to where it is no longer a burden you need to practice; it’ll become a part of you and how you grow as a person. New Years Resolutions are fine in the sense that it makes you want to put things in perspective, but instead of looking at the whole year to accomplish something, make it a daily routine. You might lose focus on the long-term goal, but at least it’ll already be an integrate part of you. Practice what you preach, and don’t complain if you refuse to act on your problem or you're friends will end up claiming their New Years Resolution was to drop fussy friends who whine all the time.

Gold Star at the End of the Day?

2010-01-05T23:01:00.000-08:00

Which would you rather be – the tortoise or the hare? Would you rather work hard at a steady pace, learn as you go until you finally reach your goal? Or, would you rather speed ahead and teleport to where you want to be? Honestly, I would rather get there faster. I’ve always been one of those people who run instead of walk. Patience has not really been one of my strongest assets; and in turn I tend to fall more than those who take their time to calculate how and when they will jump, I just leap forward not quite sure of where I’m going to land. Does it really matter if you know or don’t? The answer is debatable, unless you’re literally going to jump – then you better know where your next step is going to be or you’ll end up landing in the hospital.
What truly matters to me is how you adapt and handle the situations you find yourself in. If you skipped ahead of the line, then you better know what you’re doing, and if you don’t then I suggest you apply your speediness and learn fast. If you are going to make it step by step please don’t be lazy or you’ll find yourself in the same step for a looong time. In either scenario, one thing is for sure: you have to work hard. You have to be diligent no matter what, never arrogant. Even though you may have been catapulted to the finish line, you still have to work hard to stay at the top.
If you choose to be the hare, then go full throttle on everything you do. Don’t go by the fable and take a nap because you think you’re ahead. In that short lapse of time someone else will come and take your place – their diligence will make them worthy of the position and your laziness will make it seem as if you have taken your job for granted and maybe never even deserved it in the first place. Thinking just because it came to you with ease, then everything else will fall in to place too will only lead to trouble.
Remember my blog about following through? Take another look; it applies to most things you’ll encounter in any environment, but especially at work. Just because the King made you a knight doesn’t mean all you’ll end up doing is gallivanting about enjoying the same luxuries as HRH. Eventually, he will send you to battle because he thinks you are capable of such endeavors. If you go to war not knowing how to do the job you will probably end up losing one way or another.
Don’t try and skip steps with the notion of just getting ahead of the pack, do it because you know you are capable and deserving of such position. What goes up must come down, unless you’ve figured out a way to fight the good fight in order to stay in that place, or continue to go higher. Hard work is always necessary – don’t let anybody fool you.

I Am Me, Who Are You?

2010-01-05T22:50:00.000-08:00

Now that the Holiday’s are over, it’s back to reality for most of us – job, school, etc… And I’m not going to lie; I could have stayed at home a little longer. There’s just something so comforting about being at home with your family and friends you’ve known since forever – you can just be yourself. At work you have a specific title and responsibilities, at school you have to go to class, study and make time to have a social life. At home 90% of what you do is socialize and the other 10% is spent sleeping.
This made me wonder where people mostly feel that they can be themselves. Is it at home? Or is it at work, where their job description defines them? Maybe it’s in school, where they may express themselves through their knowledge? What is it about a person and their surroundings that define them?
In philosophy, identity is “whatever makes an entity definable and recognizable.” That could be just about anything from a laugh to a profession. I work in an industry that is so consumed with image that they fade away the shadows of who they used to be, and build a new identity altogether – something light years away from who they once were, they change their values, their perceptions and behaviors for something they think will be more acceptable in their line of work. The Film Industry is not an easy environment to be in, and to hold on to ones identity without getting lost in the sea of mirrors and smoke is something to truly admire.
Actors, for example, make a career out of pretending to be someone else. Does their profession define them as fictitious people – just like the characters they play? Or is it a way to escape their true identities, personalities that the public can’t seem to get enough of, and even those personal traits and events are fabricated for the public’s eye. Do we really ever get to know a celebrity? Do they dare show their true colors or do they not even know them anymore? There are so many ways to label a person, it sometimes seems unfair. Why should someone else’s perception of you define you? Why should your job define you? Your friends, family, etc… Only you can define who you are. The key is to be comfortable with yourself, with your environment and the people that surround you on a daily basis. I feel more like me when I’m at home because of the freedom I sometimes take for granted in other areas of my life. At home I am free to speak my mind, to manage my own schedule - make one up or let randomness take over, answer my phone if I want to or not, etc.... At work you have to be careful with what you say out loud, to your boss, clients, everything is so thought out that it seems scripted – not natural, eventually not you. At school, you can truly discover who you are, and who you want to be, it’s a great experience; but in the end it's still somewhat of a work in progress, your almost there but not quite yet.
Even though I believe it is a good thing to know who you are; I’m not asking anyone to label themselves in certain ways depending on what you do, think or say. People change. But most of the time you’ll come to realize how much of a lifesaver it is to be sure of yourself, your values, opinions, etc… In a world where most people just go with the flow, and follow the flock, being you will be the best way to remedy any frustration you might have with the outside world. A phony person is beyond easy to detect, and the humiliation of being exposed is not something anyone will ever enjoy. It is better to be you, in all areas of your life, and let your identity define the type of job you do, the type of friends you make, the type of relationship you maintain with your family, etc… Why let external factors determine anything? It shouldn’t be so hard to just be yourself.

Pushing and Shoving

2009-12-20T17:11:00.000-08:00

Does having high standards and goals just set you up for disappointment? There are so many recent Grad’s out there and very little employment opportunities that it makes one think “Now what?”

We’ve worked our butts off in school for so long, and now that we’ve finally graduated from college we can’t take the next step because no one’s hiring? These young adults have spent all those years preparing for their future and their careers, all to be put to a halt when they are finally ready for the real world. Putting aside the economic circumstances, this whole situation is painted from head to toe with unfairness.

It’s unfair for the parents who have paid for their child’s education; unfair for those recent graduates who went to school with the idea that having an education would make their futures brighter; and it is unfair for the workplace in general because they will lack the freshness and innovation that these young adults usually offer. A lot of employers pay great attention to who has more experience; if you’re a “newbie” then your chances of getting hired are slim. What these stubborn employers don’t realize is that the greener you are the more grounded you are. Us young adults have our roots firmly planted; we continue to cultivate our values and morals coming into the workforce with the intention to work hard. We have so much to prove that our eagerness many times gets misconstrued with being naïve and not understanding how the world works. Well Dear Employers, you might want to reconsider and re-evaluate who you hire.

I must admit that I’m still very green, I’ve been working for about 14 months and obviously I still have a lot to do and a lot to learn. But, I have been perceptive to my work environment and that of my colleagues and I must say that “we newbie’s” come with our logic and sanity still in tact – and that is one of our greatest assets and strengths as we start our careers. We have just finished 4 tough years of college and are well aware of what past precedents and of what we are capable and able to do in the present. Our standards are still high (with most of us being overachievers) but, they are still grounded in the realm of reality/possibility.
I’ve known, seen and heard so many stories about those in charge and their demands – asking their employees to make the impossible become possible and not in the motivational sense of “you can do anything you put your mind to”, rather in the “I want a flying unicorn in my office by tomorrow morning” type of impossible. And then, when reality sinks in and they don’t get their way they freak out because they are surrounded by incompetent people. This sort of proves my point that the more time and experience you have working, the more specialized your brain becomes, thus logic and common sense are thrown out the window. So, I ask you Dear Employer, would you rather have more flying monkey’s taking over your company, or would you rather have sane and grounded flowers ready to be groomed and eager to learn and help make your company thrive? I’d go with the daisies.

And now back to you my fellow flowers. Yes, it sucks that you can’t get your dream job right out of college; you’ve worked so hard. But, don’t be scared if you stray a little from your career goals and go with the first job you are offered – there’s no shame, you need a paying job so you can pay the rent. No offense Mom and Dad, but after all those years of living on our own, moving back home would feel like taking a step back. So, if you’re frustrated because you’re not where you thought you would be at this point in your life, don’t be – as long as you never loose focus of what you want you’ll be fine. Having high standards and goals not being met right away should not bring disappointment, make them a challenge, push yourself and do your best to get closer to your dream. It shouldn’t matter where you start as long as you’re going in the right direction. “All roads lead to Rome” right? Just stay focused on your version of Rome, and sooner or later you’ll get there.

What's next?

2009-12-17T14:15:00.000-08:00

From the sophistication of the Rat Pack in the 50’s, to the free loving Flower Children of the 60’s, followed by the psychedelic green revolution and women’s liberation movement of the 70’s, and the health conscious money driven Yuppies of the 80’s, finally making it’s way to the Internet Generation of the 1990’s-2000’s. It’s pretty obvious we’ve come a long way. Each generation has been focused on a different ideology, but they’ve all been focused on moving forward. With each youth movement there has been an innate need for innovation, rebellion, and communication.

We rebel in order to produce change; and one of the greatest movements of all has enabled us to reach out and bring awareness on a higher level – Free Speech Movement. Today’s generation has so many vehicles of communication, so many ways of disseminating information that it has become beyond difficult to not know what is going on in the world. But what are we fighting for these days, what are we advocating for? Activism and social issues aren’t the same as they were in the 1960’s, patriotism has overshadowed our protests against the war; corporation’s have been hit so hard by the economy that creating a riot due to the high levels of unemployment wouldn’t really shake or move much. We might not be dealing so heavily with social issues like the generations before us; but we are dealing with global issues, which have been even more difficult to overcome. I feel like most of us have been waiting for those who lead the world to do their job and fix our problems – they caused it, now they fix it. If that’s our way of thinking then we haven’t learned much from those famed “hippies”. We each need to do our part to produce change; leaning on those who have led us astray isn’t the answer, crossing our arms and putting the blame on others never helps.

If you’ve been paying attention to the media lately you may have noticed that little by little they’ve been trying to get us to stand up for ourselves – shocking I know. But, look at the people who are being emphasized for their strength and courage, people being praised for their achievements, for their charity work, for bringing awareness to the public about the world’s current situation – celebrity or commoner, the spotlight is being put on those who are trying to make a difference. Even the film industry has been reinventing old stories and characters, making their background darker and more aggressive, thus giving them even more incentive to achieve greatness. For example, the new “Alice in Wonderland” film will portray a more warrior-like Alice. She’s not the lost little girl anymore; she’s way more empowered and courageous this time around, thus giving girls a new heroine to look up to. Then there’s the new “Robin Hood” movie also coming out next year. Be ready to see a different side of Robin, there are no men in tights in this movie. He is a military man who has fought in the 3rd crusade and now must fight against tyranny and corruption in order to take back what is rightfully his and that of the people. Are you seeing the same trend I am?

But, alas, there will be no hero to come and save us from our crummy situations. And apparently we don’t need one. Each one of us needs to show responsibility and accountability for what is to come of us. We can’t really revolt against our government – what good would that do? What we can do is start to bring even more awareness and get more people involved in helping our cause. Do we really want to be branded as “Generation W”, the generation of whiners? I didn’t think so.

Every generation has been revolutionary in it’s own way. We’ve been called the iGeneration – I for Internet, not for the great abundance of iPod’s – for a while now. Well, it’s about to be 2010 in a couple days, and I want to believe it’s safe to say that a new generation needs to be put into play. Being known for sitting in front of a computer 90% of the time isn’t really what I would want to be remembered as – no offense, I know the internet has been a phenomenal tool in truly democratizing access to information and enabling us to participate on a global level on various forms of communication. But, it’s time to be innovative once again and try to be our own hero/heroine in order to get ourselves out of these murky waters. If the principle of deduction hasn’t been working (going from global to individual), then maybe the notion of induction might prove to be more useful (moving from individual to global).

The Looking Glass

2009-12-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

Why is it so difficult to keep ourselves happy?
We wanted to lose weight, and we did, great. Not enough, 5 more pounds to go – your contentment for what you accomplished is limited to seconds before you need to keep it going. You managed to make a phenomenal meal, and before you even serve it you’re already thinking about what you’ll be cooking tomorrow. Everything needs to be better, bigger, and different. It’s like we’re always competing. We are either trying to prove to ourselves that we can do better or should be better; or we are subconsciously, consciously or even unwillingly competing with others. Having standards, goals and ideals are always good; as long as they are your standards, goals and ideals.

By wishing you were taller, smarter, looked like him, walked like her, etc… you’re focusing on the qualities of others, and without realizing it you end up wishing yourself away. As the saying goes, the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence; emphasis on seems. What you might want that others have may be just what they wish they didn’t have, or it might not be what we actually thought it was.

Nowadays it’s even more difficult to know what we want or what we choose to believe about ourselves. The media plays such a major role in how we perceive ourselves and how we look at others, that we sometimes fall victims to the many messages we are fed on a daily basis. Everywhere we look we see beautiful, almost perfect people with fabulous lifestyles – magazines, TV (another reason why I hate reality TV, it’s all scripted and staged), billboards, film… We see their airbrushed faces and bodies and think this is natural, if she can look like this then so can I. We forget the fact that we are smarter now, and we know better. We know those images aren’t real, they are pure creation. And yet we find ourselves asking why do actresses/actors always look thin, fit and ripped onscreen? Why do these famous women keep having kids and losing the baby weight instantly while I’ve been exercising my entire life and can’t manage to lose those annoying 5 extra pounds? Well, maybe it’s because “beauty” might actually come with a price. These people can afford to train daily with expert trainers, they have personal chefs that make sure their meals never surpass X amount of calories, they have plastic surgeons on speed dial, etc…

Well isn’t that just lovely. Who wouldn’t want their own army of health nuts and stylists making sure we are always looking like a demi-god? And, there we go again, wanting a lifestyle completely different from our own without thinking twice about the reality of it. We forget the major sacrifices these people undergo on a regular basis.

The downside to that type of lifestyle is that one doesn’t get to command that army, the army of publicists, managers, agents, producers, directors, and even us (the masses) have more control over that person than they would like. They have so many restrictions and obligations going on that I can imagine them wanting their old lifestyles back for at least a week or two. If you think your life sucks, don’t forget that Madonna used to work at a Dunkin’ Donuts, yes now she’s the Queen of Pop, but watch “Roman Holiday” starring Audrey Hepburn again and you’ll realize that all royals (real or “fake”) have a price to pay for their titles – you might have a freedom envious of the Queen of Pop; or in that case even of the Princess of Pop (Britney Spears), a mother of two with a huge career and she still needs to be under the guardianship of her father or she might risk flying off the handle again. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, or in our day and age, you never know what happens when the camera is turned off. If you think society is putting pressure on you to look, act, or be a certain way; just try to imagine being on the other side – actually having to be the prototype of such illusions, not that much fun once you think about it huh?

So, why wish for someone else’s life/image when you can just try to make yours better or make yours work for you? First work with what you have, then get the facts right, and if you would still rather see yourself as a blonde then give it a try – just don’t freak out if your hair ends up turning green or if that cream that makes you burn fat faster gives your body a nasty rash. Beauty is only skin deep, don't wish or waste yours away.

Sooner or Later

2009-12-15T15:26:00.000-08:00

I’ve often heard: you need to spend money to make money; and in turn you make money so you can spend it, right? But, as these financial times get tougher, the more you spend the more irresponsible you become. I realize that nothing is forever, and no one can guarantee your job/income will remain stable. But, if you’re in your twenties and the only person for whom you are financially responsible is yourself, then why would you save the grand majority of your earnings, instead of enjoying (in moderation of course) your hard earned dollars, plus the limited understanding of being young and having fun. You worked hard to get through college; you managed to get a job. And if most of us work out of necessity, doesn’t that kind of, sort of, maybe, make it OK to try to enjoy life outside those office walls?

People my age are supposedly saving for the future? If I want to have a certain lifestyle then I have to start saving as of yesterday, they say. I get that, but what about right now? These precious moments are passing by at warp speed, next thing you know you saved up a whole bunch of cash to finally not feel guilty of enjoying a night out with your friends, going to a concert, or dancing the night away. Good for you, um but did I mention that all this is most likely now going to take place when you're in your 40’s?? Hmm. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that splurging and wasting your money on outings, clothes, and trips is essential in order to have fun. But, you can’t be too stingy either, unless of course you want to wake up middle aged and bitter in knowing that your kid is able to enjoy their youth and you never could because you didn’t want to spend your hard earned money and now your kids are spending it for you.

At this point in our lives I think (hope) it’s safe to say that most of us have learned how to budget one’s income. First come the majors: rent and food, then there’s gas for your car, the monthly bills, coffee (yes, for most of us it has become an essential dietary staple consumed daily), etc… and then you take what’s left over and you put some of it into your savings account and the rest goes to you. This would be the ideal way of managing one’s money, right? Well, couldn't it be?

I’ve had to re-type an entire film budget and I’ve noticed that for every major player there is a category that relates to “entertainment” for the producers, director, etc… If accountants and financial analysts can leave room and account for money to be spent specifically for the entertainment of these people, then why can’t we?

Save for stability in your future, but don’t forget that this is also your time for fun – by the time you think you’ve saved enough to splurge every once in a while, might be a tad too late to enjoy the festivities of your 20’s – that cute short skirt you always wanted might not be appropriate after.

Be sure to prioritize, but manage to make room for some random elements that might take you by surprise. As we all learned in math (even though some of us were sleeping, take a second look at your notes, you might be surprised you actually wrote it down) – always account for variables. And another thing numbers has taught us, especially when applied to expiration dates, enjoy it while you can.

The Art of Following Through

2009-12-15T12:34:00.001-08:00

Ever been a member of a sports team? Remember what your coach would always emphasize at every practice? “Don’t forget to follow through.” Be it tennis, golf, baseball, basketball, hockey, etc… there has always been the athletic known importance of following through. This little lesson has also become a useful tactic for everyday life.

To follow through on a swing, kick or throw means making it through to the end, your goal is to get the ball to the other side of the court, to have the ball go through, over, or into the net; or maybe you just need to hit it out of the ballpark. Whatever your goal might be you need to carry out a stroke until it’s natural completion. According to my tennis coach, that’s the only way of playing properly, of managing to get the ball over the net and onto the other side of the court. If you don’t follow through on your swing you’ll either hit the ball straight into the ground, the net or out of bound. Interesting how this athletic philosophy can be translated into other areas of life.

In life it is just as important to follow through on ones goals. If actions speak louder than words, then we need to get ourselves into motion. From small things to major ones, you’ll find that sticking to your word will be more beneficial. Maybe this way those childish white lies might be avoided; if you say you’ll call then call, if you accept an invitation then attend the event, send a thank you note after an interview... put into effect whatever it is you want to do. These little maneuver’s will most likely get you from point A to B; they’ll keep you going until you manage to get there.

Wouldn’t it be great to get rid of the irritating doubt of “what if?” Think about what your objective is, what will be your drive? The whole notion of “I think, therefore, I am” is a little overrated in my book. These days you actually have to do something that proves you can be whatever you want - you do, therefore, you are. Thinking about it is the first step; but then you actually have to follow through on the requirements in order to achieve your goal. You may want to be a whole lot of things, but the actual act of following through is one of the basic and most important elements that will make you cross that finish line in whatever platform you might find yourself in.

Season's Greetings

2009-12-14T21:10:00.001-08:00

Tis the season to be jolly… With this economy?? Yeah right.
People getting fired left and right, promises of a better tomorrow seem further away, no time or money to go buy presents for your loved ones… One might think there are many reasons for why the holiday’s might be more blue than merry, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all. I mean do we really need to buy gifts for this to be a happy season? Will your sister really wear that necklace? Will your best friend just end up returning her gift? And what unique present could you possibly get your mom? I think she’s received enough framed pictures of you throughout the years. Why try to be creative with material gifts, when instead you can start to think of new ways to make the holidays a joyful and fun occasion again.
Make these hard times work for you, throw away the superficial idea of Christmas, and get back to the basics. Like, spending time with family and friends, so have your parents hide the TV remote; and start calling up people and making plans. Just because it’s cold, snowing or raining outside doesn’t mean it’s ok to turn into a couch potato. Get creative and start enjoying this time of year, even trendy places are making the most of the season; for example the W hotel in Brentwood has transformed the backyard swimming pool into a skating rink. You can also get together with your friends and bake holiday treats, cook up dinners, have cocktail parties, etc… Even people watching at a shopping center like The Grove can give you a new perspective; you’ll either laugh at the people going from store to store as if competing to see who can carry the most bags before their arms fall off, or you can see the look on kids faces as they look up at the huge Christmas tree in awe, or see them pull their parents with all their might so that they can get in line to see Santa. It can take you back to when you were a kid, it can make you smile and remember what this time of year meant for you. Now of course it probably meant getting presents, you were a kid after all; but now you know a little bit better and you can indulge and be creative with its meaning. Will you be bummed out that you might not get the presents you want? Will you be nervous and feel guilty that you might show up empty handed to one of your many holiday parties? Or will you try to make the most of it? As for me, all I want for this holiday season is to be able to enjoy my time at home, no blackberry buzzing every 5 minute with a new email from work, no worrying if my boss is going to call after I left the office. I just want to take a break and be at peace so I can prepare and brace myself for the madness that follows the New Year. As the song goes “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

The Importance of Manners

2009-12-14T16:49:00.001-08:00

I was taught at an early age how to be polite and how to be respectful of others, especially of those who are older. It’s hard not to like a person with good manners; someone who is attentive will be received with a smile as opposed to someone who will cough in your face – pure disgust. I would never dream of interrupting my mom and grandmother when they were in deep conversation, my dad always opened the door for my mom and me, no one started eating unless everyone at the table had been served, etc…
When I went to my friend’s houses, the same would apply. I never thought of myself as extra considerate or extra well mannered, it was just the way things were. Even if you did something you weren’t supposed to, your parents would be the first ones to make you apologize, say hello, or fix whatever it is you did.
Things stayed kind of the same when I transitioned from High School in Mexico, to College in the US. I went to UC Berkeley, and let me tell you, students there are more likely to crucify you if you make a sudden movement in the library that might distract them from their studying. People would walk slower as if tip-toeing so that they wouldn’t disturb their fellow classmates, and also so they wouldn’t receive those nasty glares. Committing a social faux pas is a horrible experience. If you walked out of a lecture while the professor was still talking, then you could expect the whole room of 200+ students turn your way as you “quietly” tried to open the door, sometimes even the professor would glance over to see who would dare walk out of their lecture. Thus students wouldn’t walk out unless their bladder was about to explode, and they had no other choice – can you imagine the other faux pas of actually “going” in the classroom? Beyond humiliating.
After graduation I moved to Los Angeles to work in film. A complete cliché on paper I know, but believe it or not I did not come here to be an actress or a screenplay. I just want to share stories with the world, stories worth telling- yes I know, a Berkeley cliché, but one I actually believe in. I was blown away with the type of people who think they rule Hollywood. Barking orders, yelling at their staff, slamming doors, having guests wait 30 minutes outside the office while they finished updating their Facebook status – sad but true. It doesn’t make you seem more important, just so you know; you look like you’ve lost all type of social decency.
I’m not saying people should be extra considerate of others, I mean I am in a place where everyone puts themselves first, no matter what. But being polite should never be thrown completely out the window, unless you want to look like a complete lunatic and have your staff and colleagues make fun of you behind your back. As the old saying goes “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Be considerate and polite and you’ll find that others will reciprocate. If you want to be respected then you must practice it before you receive it. Don’t forget those little rules of etiquette your parents taught you when you were little, in a world where they are scarce habits, they can make you stand out in a positive way.