Found and Bliss

The Midnight Library - Book Review

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Mon, 31 May 2021 22:03:00 +0000

Vancouver B.C. Library

How often do we wonder how our life might have turned out if we had made a different choice?

The Midnight Library shares a glimpse into the ‘other lives’ the main character could have had. It is an enlightening journey into how each action of ours can send us onto a completely different path, how our words or lack of words can effect someone else and how the most simple act can transform us.

Life is brief but it can be long when it is unhappy, it can fill our heart with important moments or keep us in the dark of denial. Nora Seed is mixed up, she arrives at a place in her life where she gets to try out the lives she had dismissed, she sees that there is no 'one' perfect life. Each one gives us a gift, and the same one has the opportunity to destroy us.

As in our real life, our heart goes with us in each life we choose, it can expand our thoughts or increase our doubt. Our heart will continue to beat, although it is broken. (Tweet This)

This book speaks to the simple life each of us want, it could be on a stage adored by a crowd, or lovingly shared with those who know us best. It depends on us.

The Midnight Library is the setting of our choices, the millions of people we could be, each book balancing on the others, each one with the potential to write the life we want. Each one with the power to make us real.

The quiet made her realize how much noise there was

elsewhere in the world. Here, noise had meaning.

The Midnight Library

A library (anywhere) is one of my most favourite places, because it offers secrets and the answers, and also the quiet to ponder both. This book is definitely one of my favourites, it makes you think of all the other books that you didn't choose.

Each book balances on the others, each one with the power to make our life real. (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.

(read a book!)

The Ripple of Kindness

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Sun, 16 May 2021 18:32:00 +0000

Just as ripples spread out when a

single pebble is dropped into water,

the actions of individuals can have

far-reaching effects.

Dalai Lama

Courtesy of Pixabay, Sandid

Kindness counts.

I was at a local thrift shop the other day as I am apt to do when they give a discount to celebrate those of my age. A young man approached me as I was leaving and asked if I was looking for my shopping cart.

What a strange question, I thought.

As I made my way to the front of the store, I heard one lady speaking to a rather frantic lady.

Did you lose your cart? she asked.

Yes, the frazzled one said, as she looked around for it.

I took it to an employee because your purse was in the cart.

The frantic lady was relieved and thankful. The helpful lady laughed it away, and said that it's easy to forget when you're excited looking for a great find!

As easy as that. Kindness.

I'm sharing this story from the side streets of life to remind us all. Kindness exists. (Tweet This) I saw it, the almost-had-a-terrible-day lady saw it, the young man working there saw it. And now you can see it too.

Start the ripple. Give hope, give kindness.

Let's all be aware of what we can give, what we can receive graciously, and the stories we can share. (Tweet This)

Now tell me, when did you give, receive or witness an act of kindness? Please share your story, we could all use some good news right now.

Stay well, stay kind.

Live Slow Be Kind

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Fri, 14 May 2021 21:39:00 +0000

These words were originally a Guest Post on the Be Well Coaching Programs site, July 2019 and have been edited. Thank you Cassie for sharing my thoughts with your readers.

This is a story about kindness and generosity.

So often in our busy lives, we forget an important thing. We dismiss the idea that some small act is more than a token of kindness to someone else. Yesterday, I was the recipient of such an act.

When busyness is the measure of time,

no matter how much time exists it is never enough.

Diana Hunt

We are constantly hunting down the next deal, the next best job opportunity, the newest movie. We are always looking for NEXT.

This is the reason I decided to take a morning off and head to the local Thrift Store. You probably have one just like it in your town. I would use Julia Cameron’s suggestion in The Artist's Way of having a creative day to re-juice.

I would put away my keyboard to play. It is hard for most of us to stop. To be still. To reflect, appreciate, and see with open eyes. We are wrapped up in being the center of our universe and do not look into the eyes of others (often enough). (Tweet This)

I have been re-organizing my office/guest room/craft space into something more manageable. It is not a large room like what you sometimes see on YouTube as other crafters show you their divine spaces overlooking the treetops or the ocean. However, it is my haven.

Live Slow Be Kind - Jessica's "gift" of kindness

I have had my eye on a three-tiered rolling cart to store and keep my craft items near me. They could be rolled into another room with more working space and be transported in style. As I searched at the Thrift Store, I saw a woman with the cart I was looking for already in her shopping cart! “Darn, I missed it,” I thought to myself. Quickly I realized that if there was one, perhaps next time I would get lucky. As she approached, I said to her, “That’s a prize you found there!” To which without any hesitation, she replied, “Oh, please take it”. I was astounded!

She insisted that I take the rolling cart as she had also chosen a beautiful wire chair that she would put in her garden. I told her that I could see a large basket of potted flowers overflowing from the wire seat. "Will it sit in the sun or the shade?" I asked. We both smiled then as we continued talking about being creative, we were no longer strangers.

She was thrilled with the addition to her garden and I was delighted to get my rolling cart at a fraction of the cost. Then she obligingly allowed me a hug to seal the deal!

We then had a ten-minute conversation about how I would fill the cart with my various containers of beads and trinkets, mixed media tidbits, stencils and stamps. She suggested that a person always arrive as soon as the store opens on the sale day. She had experience, I could tell!

Jessica and I met in the most unforeseen circumstance but I hope that she felt my heartfelt thanks at her generosity.

Without that pause of awareness, of silence, of connection, we would not have met and shared a few moments that lightened both our days.

Live Slow Be Kind. Each interaction deserves it and the benefit will warm your soul. (Tweet This). This is what happened to Jessica and me in the time we stood still.

Take care of yourself and stop long enough to notice.

What could happen today if you stood still?

Stay well, stay kind.

I Named this Piece, Light

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Sun, 09 May 2021 18:17:00 +0000

I Named this Piece, Light Photo by Author
Afraid that our inner light will be extinguished or our inner darkness exposed, we hide our true identities from each other. In the process, we become separated from our own souls. We end up living divided lives, so far removed from the truth we hold within that we cannot know the integrity that comes from being what you are.

Parker J. Palmer

Change is difficult for all of us, sometimes we get years to do it and often we are thrust so suddenly that we tend to recoil in fear and surprise. (Tweet This) We can break open.

This piece of mine is about change, about letting the days of our lives slather us in the shades we are ready to see. In the words from one of my most favourite poets, 'that's how the light gets in'.

I thought about Leonard Cohen as I played with this piece. It lived in fragments and chaos for some time, it was truly ugly and unfinished. And also how I knew that I had to just let go and keep going. One moment at a time.

I Named this Piece, Light

I named this piece, Light.

The dark, the bright, the footsteps that cross our path, the pungent and the sweet. All there across my heart.

Then the white reflecting light showed up.

The light that joins pieces of our lives previously separated by loss and disappointment, it sneaks in with messages that we needed to hear. It shows up with an unexpected phone call, a song lyric, or buried deep within the pages of a book. It hits you in the face while you're running, or when you see the smiling face of a stranger.

The light is always there in the cracks. (Tweet This)

It's up to each of us to let it in.

Stay well, stay kind.

I have just discovered these two wonderful, supportive artists whose books and exercises I have drawn from in my playing time.

Please note that I am an affiliate. I will receive a small commission if you purchase (at no extra cost to you) if you also come on this learning journey.

From Somewhere at Some Point

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Wed, 14 Apr 2021 22:16:00 +0000

We all start from somewhere at some point.

When I first retired, I made this from the name plate that had hung outside my office door. I was interested then, and am still learning about collage. I like the idea that if we try, we can see the 'other-than-usual' use for scraps of all kinds, and then make them into something that speaks to us.

From Somewhere at Some Point

In the majority of the pieces I've made in last several months, I've included word and text in different fonts and ways, and this has definitely helped fulfill my writer's needs. It's challenging at times to fill a page with your feelings, but a word or two are usually within reach. (Tweet This)

But when using these words, I also like to tell a story, to make a statement of some sort. Sometimes only in a subtle way for those who are looking for it. Other times in a bold way that you can't miss it.

This was She. When I started.

Well as you can see, She was pretty but flat, I was tired by then, of propping up people, and doing my best to motivate. Trying with words which too frequently fell on deaf ears. The message I needed to give in my own way had been buried by years of pretending by then. And She reflected that.

But, She still managed to stand tall, and since then she has moved towards embracing the colours and the celebration that she was ready for. And She continued to learn through collage.

She learned that with our growth and experiences, we are able to add more layers, we gain dimension, we are better equipped to make the statement that is ours to give.

And then, lockdown.

When each new day brings a challenge of how to fill our time. Do we really want to learn a new skill, or would we rather drift away in the moments until the next tv show starts, or find a new binge-worthy murder mystery, or sit on the balcony and watch what the neighbours are doing through their open blinds.

I arise in the morning torn between a desire

From Somewhere at Some Point

to improve (or save) the world

and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world.

This makes it hard to plan the day.

E.B. White

I would like to say that creating has become easier, but each day I still need to make an effort.

Because as any of us know, we can't get better if we don't try. We can't learn if we don't fail. We can't create anything new if we let the old remain. (Tweet This)

So after many months of ignoring her as she stared back at me, I saw that She needed a change, I started to see that I could do more.

Then one day...

She heard more words, She understood that maps make imaginary lines, She imagined her life and brought her dreams into the day. So did I. So can you. (Tweet This)

The message I needed to give in my own way had been buried by years of pretending by then. (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.

These are the basic supplies I used to take She 'From Somewhere at Some Point'. Have fun with your next creation, whatever it might be!

Can You Wait to Get Up in the Morning?

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Thu, 25 Mar 2021 22:53:00 +0000

We could hardly wait to get up in the morning.
Wilbur Wright

Let's admit it, we probably don't all feel like the Wright brothers at this moment. In the last year we've all experienced a loss of some kind. Some a little easier to handle, many quite difficult. Many dreams and ambitions put on hold.

From lost friendships, to losing a steady income, to everything in-between. Each disappointment has caused us to re-think who we are, what we want to contribute, where we are heading.

Each zoom call, each email tells us a story of what people are experiencing around us. Netflix dramas are downright scary, many filled with deceit few with laughter. Some of us are craving the Hallmark movie because it is sweetly predictable. We are often underwhelmed with honesty and truth these days.

So recently, when I encountered a youtube that I regularly follow where she shared her vulnerability of burn-out, my heart surrendered.

As a fellow creator, with a thousand ideas but only 24 hours each day, holding the responsibility of satisfying her public and her family, she told us in her video how she was doing/drowning.

Can You Wait?

Tell me, do you honestly tell anyone how you're doing? It is okay to be sad, directionless, uncomfortable. It is okay to step back and admit it. And this woman did all that in her video.

She opened the door to honesty. She was real. She cried. She encouraged others to seek help.

It is the nature of despair that we want to hide. Regardless of who we are, we are all hiding something. (Tweet This) Fear of the expectations of our family, fear of time running out, fear of what we have invested with no or limited outcome. We are tired.

It can paralyze us. But if this fear also gives us the invitation to re-invent ourselves, to re-think our previous choices, gives us the courage to share with others who might be feeling the same, how much hope and comfort could it bring to us all?

Climbing that wall to understanding that our pain is not ours alone takes utmost courage. That others feel it too right now, knowing that we can turn to those on the other side of this experience. Is that not a gift?

Can You Wait?

In the last few weeks, I have heard from people whom I had lost contact with over the last few years. What struck me each time, was how open we have been. How we've shared our feelings of our past memories, asked important questions that showed how much we cared, and opened the door as my youtube lady did.

We stop pretending when we choose our community. For support, for understanding, and also for talking nonsense. (Tweet This)

As our time apart slowly comes to an end, let's not forget what we learned. Perhaps we can create a brighter world, with real hugs, all based on our new more open hearts.

Our fear of today is also our invitation to make a change. (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.

They Baffle and Bamboozle with Choices

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 22:53:00 +0000

I remember when it was easier to make a decision. Fewer brands of everything including toothpaste, they basically said that they cleaned your teeth. And they did. There wasn't a specific one for whiter teeth, sensitive teeth, or shine-up-faster for your date in one week teeth.

Less of This

It was a more simple time. Less interruptions to who you are. You did or you didn't and you didn't care as much. It was easier to hear the answer. Who am I?

Now, you can spend hours choosing a hair product, a box of cereal, or a brand of coffee.

We are overwhelmed with choices.

Now, you can be a minimalist or fill your walls from floor to ceiling. You can order a print online and hang it up in two days. Do you change your decor with the season, the next holiday or whenever you go by the decor store?

I know many of you came from a family who had the same sofa from when you were born to when you packed a suitcase and left home. Right? Did anyone care?

And for the last year, we have all been held captive within the four walls 'that we really should paint in the colour of the year'. Yea right, because this is our biggest dilemma? Decision making has become worse.

They want us to choose because they need to sell! (Tweet This) They want to give us a course, send us an email filled with links, offer us something to make our life better. Now sometimes this is good, but often it isn't. You need to choose.

And they won't leave you alone. Psychology Today says that we likely make 2000 decisions every hour! No wonder we are baffled and bamboozled.

Most times what they tell us would be wrong. Only you know what you need. (Tweet This)

More of This

I aim to tell people to not look for the hack, the fix, the instant cure.

Instead go slow, to get ahead. The chances are you will not strike it rich or be fit or find your life partner on a dating site on your first try. You could be lucky, but you're not likely to be the exception.

The world is full of people looking to get 'there' easily. And it doesn't work because the finding is in the living.

Because here's the secret, no one has it all figured out. We are all not complete, we are all searching.

So I say, be patient, keep trying, make some mistakes, learn from them, look for the people you can trust. (Tweet This)

And then be still, listen, give it room to happen. Choose to find yourself instead of things.

Stay well, stay kind.

Heart Tread

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Tue, 23 Feb 2021 00:05:00 +0000

The weather has been bitterly cold here as it has been in many other areas in Canada and the U.S.

With the promise of sunny and more temperate numbers, I donned my running shoes and returned to my daily morning walk.

Fresh air, it's told, is good for our bodies and brains. Change your route they say, change direction in your usual loop, they suggest. All in the effort to keep our minds alert.

So how many steps did I walk this morning? That really isn't a measure I keep, with head down (watching for slippery spots), I more likely consider it a good walk based on what I see. And today I found this heart.

Surely just a tread from someone's running shoe. Trampled in the not-yet-cleared sidewalk, I had crossed the street within steps of home, and it was there!

It reminded me of an article I had read recently that asked this question of readers: when was the last time you gave or received a hug from someone outside of your household? (Tweet This)

Shocking to me, most of the responses were not related to the current isolation we are all in. And sadly, the answers spoke of a long-term lack of connection. The person who said that he hadn't given or received a hug for two years. And the break-my-heart answer which said that he/she could not remember when they were last embraced.

Okay now, I know what you might be thinking. We all know someone who has consistently done what they can to not be hugable. But the number of people who said that they missed being hugged, that they did not have anyone to hug, that they never learned how to hug. Oh my goodness.

The heart I saw goes out to them. (Tweet This)

A gentle reminder that hugs are everywhere, not only wrapped in your arms. (Tweet This)

Hugs can be found in the cup of coffee paid forward for the next customer, the late night text from your adult child, the shrieks of laughter of a child, even in the holding open of a door.

Sometimes it's found on a sidewalk when you least expect it.

Accepting and giving this hug to you.

Stay well, stay kind.

Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It : Book Review

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Fri, 12 Feb 2021 23:49:00 +0000

Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It

Ethan Kross

I hear a voice, don't you? It sounds like my own, but it also sounds like a family member, a teacher who didn't believe me, a partner who spoke as he walked away. It is the voice of a threatening boss who said something that was untrue, and a celebrity who admitted a shocking failing.

We listen to them all the time even when we don't hear them. (Tweet This)

This is a great book. A book that cannot, no should not, be rushed. It talks about things we've heard, and things we should have been taught.

Because knowing which voices to listen to and which to hear but still put away is probably our biggest lesson of all. (Tweet This)

I had a friend decades ago, who was outgoing and the centre of every party. She could tell the most outrageous of lies without batting an eye and bend the truth with the skill of practise. We weren't friends for long, but I remember her well. I heard her voice, I didn't trust my gut, I didn't listen to the warning of the adult in my life. And it all turned to crap. The details aren't important. I'm sure you've had someone just like that in your life too.

Chatter gives you the tools to identify the importance of all the voices we've heard along our way. The sounds that come from a television and what they are trying to convince you, the placebos that work because we want to believe, the green spaces that filter into our minds and can truly make us better. All important so that we can choose which ones to let in.

It combines stories of everyday people (some of whom you probably know) with scientific research written in an understandable way. It addresses psychological pain as real as the physical kind and how we can recognize both for the value they bring to our growth.

This is a book to have on your shelf whether you are a student of psychology, now or always, and for everyone who wants to understand their day and the people around them better.

Pick it up! It's definitely worth it.

Stay well, stay kind. (this book will help)

I received an advance copy of this book for an honest review, and now you know what I thought. #NetGalley #Chatter

Do We Ever Finish - My 3-part Party

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Mon, 01 Feb 2021 20:55:00 +0000

I'll show you today how our layers run deep, overlapping days of our lives, pages of lessons, chapters we have hidden, all starting from blank.

Do we ever finish? Are there not pieces that always need to be added, words that need to be said, worlds to be entertained, colours to be investigated. You too may have messages to be scraped up and dug through. Circles of friendships and stamps of pain, letters and marks that forever change us.

My 3-part Party

I was thinking of this piece (a 3-part-er) while I walked this morning. Remembering how when I first started on longer races, someone had given me a little trick.

My 3-part Party

He said "concentrate on someone who has touched your life" while you are putting one foot in front of the other, because there will be scary times when you won't be able to picture the finish line.

We need to be distracted by the right things. (Tweet This)

Think about that one person for one kilometre, concentrate only on them. What they brought to you whether a joy or a lesson. Think about what they grabbed from their life, and what they discarded. Think about what they chose to keep that defined them.The time will pass. And then for the next kilometre think of someone else and do the same.

I've found this to be a handy tool to use each day, because often we don't allow ourselves to fall into it when we should.

And that's what I've done here in this 3 part-party. I let my mind float, let my hands move, let my heart feel. Layers of thoughts that finally culminated in something that has meaning for me. Maybe not for you, we both know our lives are separate and distinct.

Even my husband had to ask which side was up in this party. (Tweet This)

My 3-part Party

So for today, put down your list of things to do. And think of one person at a time, it works for me, it helps me remember why they are are a part of me, especially when I rather cover it up.

Finished, for the moment.


My 3-part Party

This is a handy tool to use in anything that you know you need to fall into. (Tweet This)

It helps me remember why they are a part of me, especially when I rather cover it up. (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.

It's All About How We See It

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Mon, 18 Jan 2021 20:38:00 +0000

People talk about walking meditation, and you might already know that I do some serious walking and non-thinking. The kind of walking that you're surprised when you get to your turn-around point and give thanks that your feet knew what they were doing, because your mind was somewhere else completely.


A mountain or a mound?

Shadows are my thing these days. I saw this one on my way out one morning. I marveled at the jagged, scary picture it painted. Frightening to climb and painful to land on. And yet, you need to know something. This mountain was hardly more than a mound. It's just the way it looked that day. (Tweet This)

Which of course made me think. How many obstacles do we circumvent, or shy away from entirely because they appear too daunting?

But if we took one step at a time, assessing our path, learning as we go, without doubt we will eventually climb over to the other side.

It's all about how we see it. (Tweet This)

Because these words are all about freeing my mind and yours. Here's a question for you.

Does anyone else see the gnome with the pointy nose, his shoulder hunched, and eyes closed finishing his morning meditation walk?

Morning Gnome

Stay well, stay kind.

Create - the only thing you need to know: Word for the Year

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Sun, 10 Jan 2021 20:25:00 +0000

Resting on a colander

These two birds were found with the rest of their family many years ago at a garage sale. They, as well as their siblings were feathered in downy red at that time. But over the years these two have changed.

They have aged, been moved around, dangled from the edges, and fallen...off the tree which we prop in a corner of our living room during the season.

They have grown weary over the years and needed an update. They inspired my word for the year, Create.

The rest of the bird family has been packed away for another year, these two however, remain staring at me. And in this project, you will see them enter this new year in a new form.

Trying to improve

Anyone who knows me is aware how I like to re-imagine things. On empty pages, and with torn bits of the past, pieced together to make something new. Fitting for a new year, don't you think?

If you decide to continue to follow along here, you will see a shift towards creation in my words. Over the past year (perhaps enforced by distancing), I have realized that creating is much more fun than consuming.

And in this attempt to Create, I ask you too to give yourself permission to do what needs doing this new year.

You may choose to de-clutter (because space is a good thing), to re-read a favourite book (because you've grown in the meantime), to investigate a new skill (because, why not?).

We all Create in different ways. (Tweet This)

A piece here, a piece there. Note the glue medium stuck to fingers.

Smart Husband suggested they could dry this way!

I will aim this year to Create as much as I can, out of words - a poem or a story, on canvas - with paper and markings from anywhere, ribbons, wool, textile donations anyone? Using things that others might call pieces of trash.

Many of course will call this madness, but I name it Create. (Tweet This)

And now, here sit two new birdies. In this new year.

The only thing you need to know?

Start small. Change takes time.

All the pieces of yourself count.

They make you, You.

(Tweet This)

May your Word of the Year guide you to a better you. (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.

If you are looking for other ideas for your Word, you can read some of my previous choices.

Re-Write How to choose your word Open

Then choose your word at One Word 365

It was a Love Story only to Them

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Tue, 22 Dec 2020 19:25:00 +0000

she told me once that she had wanted to be free.

she'd play in the fields, come in with dusk

walk barefoot through her cloud

throw paint at the sky

that even though

she was attached to his stable ways

his work in the sewers kept him dark (Tweet This)

the waste of other people's lives

dragged the filth around him

as much as he tried.

she could hose him off

and giggle as he shook the droplets

which she could catch on her fingers

and eat instead of a meal

she was never hungry for real food

because the sun and the moon

the breeze and the shadows

kept her full of the world.

It was a Love Story only to Them Photo by Author

but she would stay by his side

always

knowing that when it ended

when it was black everywhere

she would hum, sing, flap her fragrant wings

and watch her life below.

and she did.

It was a Love Story only to Them Photo by Author

she saw.

(he climbed to the top of the hill

where she had said she could be the entire world (Tweet This)

and there

he'd shirk off the stink of his daily clothes

the stench of his life

and climb the tree

so he could be close to her.)

Love is not the same for each of us. (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.

Feel Good and Feel Well

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Fri, 18 Dec 2020 02:26:00 +0000

How often have you felt like that little one left with the marshmallow?

Sitting with the choice of feeling good quickly or gazing beyond the closed door that held the promise of two marshmallows in a few minutes/weeks/years? The famous test that gauged who a child would turn out to be, their later success in life, in love, in their bank account.

Sitting here on this shady afternoon, as the trees dance their branches against the falling sun, I think of that experiment. My nature has always had me watching that closed door, waiting for the double treat, that's just the way I'm built.

But...I'm also pondering if it was worth it. That belief that if we just worked a bit harder or longer into the night, we could still meet our friends who were 'well on their way' with the cheap beer. How long can that really serve you?

Or, forget it. It's only one class. Where are my friends?

And then as we grow older, the one more side-job, one more place to look for a deal, one more article to read. How long can we be tired and still continue.

Or, it doesn't matter. I'll do it tomorrow.

But here's the secret. The gravitational pull to being at either end is something that we are all working on. Finding balance is a trick we need to find soon, we can Feel Good and Feel Well, it's not an or. (Tweet This)

It is okay to sit and watch the shadows move right in front of us. To watch them bounce and change. And fade.

Feel Good and Feel Well, Photo by Author

Don't wait too long. It is that magical place in-between that keeps us Well.

There are definitely some days when sitting in bed and devouring a good book is a good idea. We learn to not overdo.

There are also days, when we have to act as a superhero to get stuff done. We learn that we are capable.

We might feel okay while we're doing either of these things but we can't do either of them all the time. (Tweet This) As many a wise person has said, 'life catches up to you.'

When it involves feeling good for a short period of time in exchange for feeling well for a prolonged period, which do we choose? And how often? That's the crucial question.

Courtesy of Pixabay, Einfach-Eve

We feel good when we've accomplished a smaller goal, learning a new (quicker) way to post on social media, or balancing in tree pose for a little longer.

We feel good because these little feel good moments are a step to feeling well, for a long time.

Whatever you are trying to 'get over', make peace with how you feel, it's okay. And then, find the courage to make You better. When you keep picking at a wound it might feel good for a moment, but it keeps us stuck right there. Which one of us doesn't look back at a painful experience, and relive it? Again and again.

We need to remember that not feeling good is a sign to find a way to feel well. (Tweet This)

There is an industry out there waiting to help, from weight loss, to healing your grieving heart. But none of it is going to work until you decide that you rather Feel Well.

Picking at a wound might feel good for a moment, but it keeps us right there, it doesn't allow us to heal. (Tweet This)

What are you going to choose?

Stay well, stay kind.

Chance Reward

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Wed, 09 Dec 2020 02:52:00 +0000

There was a boy named Chance who met me many mornings as I entered my workplace some years ago. He was an unkept child, with shoes or boots that always appeared too small depending on the season, and hair outgrown hanging in his eyes. Often there were stains on his face of his dinner from the night before. Orange coloured, was it spaghetti sauce? something that came out of a can? The dried stains added some depth to his pale, freckled face.


Chance Reward

Chance was not a shy boy in spite of the neglect he seemed to come from, he loved to talk. He'd be standing on the sidewalk in front of the school and chattered continuously as we walked to the side entrance that I used. He offered to carry my lunch-bag, my box of papers and any miscellaneous items I was carrying each morning.

One day after several weeks, Chance laughingly said that I should pay him for helping me. I was speechless, the bravado of this child took me back to my childhood when children did not voice what was on their minds. And definitely not encouraged to ask for something so directly.

I fumbled a reply to Chance that day, threw out a platitude that helping someone should come without expecting a reward. I remember telling him that if he helped someone he would feel the happiness of doing a good thing. I'm not sure he understood, but after not seeing him the next few days, there he was one morning ready to help again with what I carried.

I've thought of Chance over the years, he'd be an adult now, and wondered what he thought about our conversation that day. I couldn't tell him that life isn't fair, that doing the right thing takes courage and isn't always rewarded.

This morning when I was on my walk, I stepped carefully off the path to allow safe distance for anyone approaching me. Why did most people not acknowledge, nod, or smile?

And that's when Chance entered my mind. I think about reward and how all of us like to get it. (Tweet This)

How could I have thought that a child would understand, when even now as adults, we still want to be thanked and admired for our big-hearted kindness? Why don't others know that we are a super-wonderful-kind person and should be appropriately rewarded?

We might listen to a friend's complaining for years, and then be re-buffed by them when we finally give them an honest opinion.

Or lend someone our truck to help them to move, and get it back with an empty tank of gas.

We may run errands for someone and then not even be offered a cup of coffee.

Chance Reward https://foundandbliss.blogspot.com

Even in the simple act of a little thing on a walking path, we take a chance, there might not be a reward. And the expectation we didn't know we had can come tumbling down.

In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give,

and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.

It’s very easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements

in comparison with what we owe to others.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Oh how we all forget sometimes just to do the right thing.

Give with an open heart, take a chance. (Tweet This)

Do we only give to receive? (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.

Surviving the White Gaze: Book Review

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Tue, 01 Dec 2020 23:06:00 +0000

In Surviving the White Gaze , Rebecca Carroll writes with harsh, brutal emotion and also with soft and tender recall.

The author, a brown woman details the story of her life showing equal parts courage and confusion. She tells the story of her childhood as an adoptee in a white family in a white town. It is a good introduction for those who have not faced a life of being considered "less".

It is a world best described by someone who has experienced being on the outside for any number of reasons, in this case because of race. Anyone who has felt marginalized by the way they look, will feel akin to the hurt, surprise and determination required to survive. (Tweet This)

Although I did find the constant moving from one city to the next, one best friend to the next, one school and workplace to the next quite exhausting, I feel it did reflect the author's pace towards finding herself. And owning her Blackness.

When she speaks to the conversations with some characters in her life who basically say that 'they don't see her as any different', it hits the mark. As I too am a brown woman. If you don't see your brown friends as different, does that mean that you can't fully appreciate the path that they have walked? I believe that in some part it does.

We never know another person's journey, we never know how their heart has been broken, nor how many times.

This book can be difficult to read because of its raw emotion, Carroll's skin does not fit us all. But it should. (Tweet This)

I recommend this book, because we will all find ourselves within the pages. Either proud in our humanity or shamed in our ignorance. And both are worth investigating. (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.

Thanks to #NetGalley #Simon&SchusterCanada #SurvivingtheWhiteGaze for the advance copy, pub date Feb. 2021

You Don't Learn Yoga

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 23:33:00 +0000

Several months ago when our self-isolation began, I read an article about what people were hoping to accomplish during this time.

Of course there were the goals you expected to hear, clean out the extra room, finish a painting project that you started years ago. But the one that got to me, and has taken me this long to write about, was the person who said that she wanted to learn yoga.

Learn yoga? Gasp. I'll tell you that my reaction was one of shock, even dismay. Yoga is so much more.

So let me share with you what yoga means to me and maybe these words will somehow reach the young woman in the article.

Yoga is life. It will be with you during the hours of the night when you can't sleep, it will help you to listen to your breath, in and out slowly, better than counting sheep. It will be with you, teaching you to be flexible when someone rushes ahead of you in the parking lot. Yoga will comfort you on the mat when the tears called fear escape. Yoga cannot be contained.

You don't learn yoga, you practice yoga. Every moment, every day.

Poses are not accomplished, there is always another pose waiting to show you your limits. Flexibility is never reached, we always need to bend to circumstances beyond our control.

Breath is not just breathing. It is peace, it is comfort, it is the juice used to teach us. (Tweet This)

Yoga is about ignoring the person who doesn't stop talking, and the person who always arrives late to a class, any class. Yoga is about finding the teacher you need at the right time, the one that teaches you about strength, and also the one that inspires stillness.

It is about knowing and keeping close the friends who will fill your heart, the boss to keep away from, the person whom you've outgrown.

Yoga is about growing to be who you are in each new day.

It is not about learning, it is about practicing.

Practicing when you are tired and have one more thing to get done for your child. Practicing when you are impatient because you have errands to run and an elderly neighbour wants to chat. Practicing when you see the poor choices made around you but have to let someone learn on their own. Yoga is about practicing to forgive, practicing to love, practicing life.

You don't learn yoga, ever, you practice it, just like you practice life. (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.

The Line and The Work

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Fri, 20 Nov 2020 03:44:00 +0000

We are raised and we get bigger. Without our awareness and our guilt, we lean in the direction of those who groomed us. Straight and tall toward our future selves, into the space when we are supposedly grown up.

It takes years most often to recognize that we didn't become who we are on our own.

We forget that the ones before us were busy with their own problems, they too were learning to break free of what they were chained to.

And then one day, you are expected to deal with the annoying colleague or stranger. And because those before you taught you to be polite and courteous (always a good idea but dangerous in many circumstances), you were ill-prepared. Standing straight in a crowd of people or trees, is difficult, especially when the wind blows against you.

So you keep your own counsel, and those who were trained to take advantage and to look out for themselves (often by those who came before them) do just that. We've all been practicing our entire lifetime. (Tweet This)

The Line is written around a great big pot-hole called The Work, which looks dark and deep. In its depth you see the memories of the parent who couldn't defend you, the partner who ignored you, the colleague who charmed you, the boss who bullied you.

Each pointing out The Line that you must learn to cross to find out what you are worth, to find your voice, to maintain your calm. Each time one of them enters your life it gets easier if you stop to recognize that gut-feeling that something is wrong. Each time pointing your toe, wavering, testing out the ground of how it could be different if you just try.

What a mess we can make when we try. How tangled our feelings can be. How tightly we can hold on to what we are accustomed to. Regardless of how much pain we know it will bring.

That Line, that Work is waiting for each of us.

But what would it feel like to recognize it at a distance, before we were enmeshed, instead to wrap ourselves with the confidence of past experience and this time choosing to be different?

I know for me this is how it was. Allowing myself the pause to know that this someone was not looking out for my best interest. They were busy avoiding their own Line, how to be vulnerable, how to be honest, how to ask for help, how to be kind.

It isn't at all easy. In being the bigger person we're not saying that what someone else has done is okay. Still, we must keep trying to understand their Line especially when it means crossing yours. (Tweet this)

And let me tell you this, that person is out there, the one who knows how to poke at your vulnerability (whether it be that you need the job to put food on the table, or they feel they can step in front of you in line). And hopefully, because of all the other encounters you've had along the way, he/she will matter less to your life, the next time you meet.

You will observe, you will recognize, and you will step away. Because that person is still doing what they know best. (Tweet This). You will sleep well that night.

The colleague you had, the one who got the equal pay but didn't do half your work, if you're lucky the day will come when you won't even remember her last name. Because while you were doing your work, you were also doing The Work, if you know what I mean. (Tweet this)

Next time, more on Practicing.

Stay well, stay kind.

Rattling Your Chain

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 23:56:00 +0000

Many years ago, I worked with a woman, let's call her Janet. I was hardly out of my teens, in a new city where almost everyone was a stranger.

Rattling Your Chain Chain Photo Courtesy Pixabay Myriams-Fotos

As it turned out, Janet had a daughter a few years younger than me. Daughter and I became friends and I was even invited to her wedding, which was filled with the froth of plenty of pastel-dressed bridesmaids.

No one in our office liked Janet. She was bossy and nosy. She spoke with an uppity accent and constantly interrupted. She talked with her mouth full. She wore cardigans and pearls.There were many reasons to dislike Janet.

Janet was prone to migraines, and even now I picture her with a thumb held up to the side of her head rubbing her temple. She drank strong dark tea.

It was Friday, from what I remember. Janet went home early with yet another migraine.

Monday came, and her desk chair sat empty. Then our boss called us to the meeting room and told us that Janet had died.

What?

I was young, I had not been affected by death yet. And what do you say and do when no one had even liked Janet. My feelings were complicated.

And here I sit, decades later, still thinking about Janet. Was she really that bad? Had I found her annoying just because she was older? Were the little hand-written notes she had left on my desk, though unnecessary, something I should have ignored? Or had she just been looking out for a young woman who was her daughter's friend?

Over the years I've often thought, if I had met Janet at a later time in my life, I might have reacted to her differently. Because I would have been different.

Rattling Your Chain Photo Courtesy Pixabay

Just as the people over the years, you know the ones who have a way of rattling your chain, all have something in common. They all were there to teach me to become aware and to find my voice. To make me understand 'the line'. (Tweet This)

To make me realize that the rattling throws a punch for a more obvious reason. It shakes you to make you think. Although it might take years to take action. And eventually you recognize these people at a distance and think, what the heck am I supposed to grow into?

Because there will always be people in your life, maybe similar to this:

colleagues who get away with doing half the amount of work you do.
the (supposed) leader who shares too many secrets that were shared with her.
The partner who confounds you daily with the choices made.
All the way back to the big adults in your life, who cared a lot, about what other people would think.

I don't know why I was put in their lives but each day I understand a little more about why they were put in mine. (Tweet This)

So Janet, thank you for hanging around in my head all these years. You were one of the first whom I was aware of that had a role to play in my learning.

Now, for the colleagues, the (supposed) leader, the partner and the big adults, more on them later, stay tuned.

Tell me, who was the Janet in your life who taught you 'the line'? (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay safe.

Books Bind Us and Change Us

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Wed, 14 Oct 2020 01:21:00 +0000

I spotted this gentle little reminder as I walked this morning. Finding quiet is something you seek. It doesn't just appear, it is not given to you. But if you search for it, it is there.

A young man was sitting under this tree, and it is only as my walking partner and I approached did I see that he was reading a book. He sat still. He did not look around, he was not distracted by all of us walking by.

I wondered what he was reading. I hoped.

Something life-changing?

Philosophy?

Something deep?

Some minutes later as we returned up the same path, we saw him making his way from under that (Bodhi?) tree. He happened to join alongside us as we walked along the ridge overlooking the water below.

I took a photo of you, I said, you looked like you were meditating about something.

Yes, he replied.

I hope it was mindful, I queried. He smiled. He was not put off by a complete stranger questioning him. It's as if his thoughts were still trapped between the pages he had been reading. (Tweet This)

He tightly clutched his book, he did not reveal what he had been engrossed in. He just calmly smiled.

The book he needed today, his secret still, his moment.

I too have had those moments, I too have leapt into a book, either with confidence or fear of what it held for me. Not knowing what it might say that I needed to know, because one day I would hear more than words.

Could he have been reading, A Handbook for New Stoics: How to Thrive in a World Out of Your Control? A book I found so valuable that it could change your life?

Or could it have been Following the Wrong God Home which I read so many years ago and had a profound affect on how I saw the world?

I hope I captured his moment of change. I hope that he realized that the universe had let me witness his learning. When slowly or suddenly, things are just a little bit more clear. (Tweet This)

Because that's how change happens, whenever we are ready to hear it and accept it. The Last Arrow , another piece of wisdom which prompted me to continue sharing my words at a time when I questioned their value.

Books bind us together. How easily we can chat with a stranger we see on the bus who is also reading the same book. Or recommend to a fellow browser in a store the recent title of one we enjoyed.

We need to hold our book close, like the young man I met, and then to share when we are ready.

Now tell me, which book changed what you knew about yourself and the world around you? (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay safe.

Books to Bind You and Change You:

Songs for the End of the World - book review

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Tue, 22 Sep 2020 21:16:00 +0000

Songs for the End https://foundandbliss.blogspot.com

A person might wonder why in this time of confusion, I might be reading a book about a pandemic.When this book became available for review through NetGalley, I thought 'Why not? Let's see how accurate, real-to-life this book will prove to be.'

Saleema Nawaz

As individuals and families go, this book will have a character that already lives in your life. Someone you admire, or it could be someone you might detest. You could even see you. This book is filled with all of us.

And as in life, we each react differently in the eye of a catastrophe. (Tweet This) Also included in these pages, there is of course what we have grown to expect in the last few months. The hoarding, the making peace with the estranged, the re-living of the past. The generous, and the not. The politics and the opening of the heart. The predictable and the brand new.

Songs for the End https://foundandbliss.blogspot.com

Life in its mystery unfolds. The isolation yes, but oh, the learning, the discovery of a better self. I was mystified on the accuracy of a book written over a course of many years and to what we see looking out our window, maybe as we wait for the grocery delivery.

What this book will give you is the proof of our choices, how each of our repeated acts compound and sometimes leave us on a path with no other choice. Would it be easier or more difficult to change if we are faced with just a few remaining days? (Tweet This)

Who would you turn to?

What would you abandon?

All worthy thoughts as we weave our complicated, completed lives.

As Maria Shriver said so lovingly and firmly in her recent newsletter "You can’t go quiet. We can’t go quiet. We can’t bow out. We can’t believe that we have nothing to add."

This book is not a downer, it sits with a pandemic in the background but it is a book about hope.

A book with value as we continue...

Stay well, stay safe.

#SongsfortheEndoftheWorld #NetGalley

this way to Charming

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Fri, 18 Sep 2020 01:43:00 +0000

Clay Morrow keeps popping into my dreams. His presence shakes me awake and makes me wonder why my choices of entertainment have become rather odd these days. The relaxed, zen-like me disappeared somewhere during season 4.

In any given week, I've spent too much time with the Sons, and then veered totally from that path and enjoyed a Hallmark romantic movie. I've changed eras, gone back and forth in time, jumped when startled, cringed when necessary, and giggled at the nonsensical. I also admit, that I've done a lot of talking to myself while watching this wide array of 'entertainment'.

You too might be surprising yourself of late. I met with a friend the other day who used some colourful @#4% language that I've never heard her use before. She said that she noticed that her vocabulary had changed too, and was quite enjoying saying these words, usually behind her mask while grocery shopping.

I have given in to reading my book in the middle of the day, something I used to reserve for the last hour while unwinding before falling asleep. And have even taken a tea back to my bed, to sit and read on a few mornings. A much more graceful entry into a new day, what with being up with Clay so frequently. (Tweet This)

Honestly folks, I don't like his character one tiny bit.

No one really cares, do they? We've each found some silly thing to succumb to that brings us a little pleasure. (Tweet This) Or deflects from our sense of frustration. And these days, that's what counts.

Next time, about the book I've just finished by Saleema Nawaz.

Now tell me, have you discovered something new or old that gives you your zen?

Stay well, stay safe.

* Clay Morrow is from Sons of Anarchy, located in Charming - not a show I thought I would binge.

Jilted Bicycle

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Tue, 04 Aug 2020 21:46:00 +0000

This abandoned bicycle has been propped against a tree near the path I walk on.

I don't know much about bicycles, but what I see is that it is red and yellow, no visible rust or broken parts, the seat looks pretty good although worn, the chain intact, child-size.

I wonder about its reasons for leaning against this particular tree. Was it left half-way home by an exhausted rider? Or by a youngster who could claim it was stolen and request a new one?

For the last four weeks, I have seen it as I take my morning or afternoon walk. Usually it is standing erect, but sometimes lying sprawled in the shade as if it is growing sleepy in the heat.

Has it been viewed and tested by others going by? Or only questioned by me?

Four weeks is a long time. Would this bicycle survive alone in another neighbourhood? Would it have been picked, been carried, been ridden away to a new home? Would it have maintained its solitary stance for this long near you?

You can call me naive and foolish. You can call me poetic and silly.

But I like to think that it has been relaxing, waiting patiently for its rightful owner to miss it, or for a deserving child to come by and pedal it to a new parking place at their home.

Stay well, stay kind.

Hiding in Comfort

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Thu, 09 Jul 2020 02:00:00 +0000

Hiding in Comfort https://foundandbliss.blogspot.com

There are times in our life when all we can do is sit in stillness. It might feel like every other character in your story is living their own life, successfully, and all you have are questions. You cannot focus, you lose sleep, trudge around your house, start an email to a friend and then delete it. What is going on?

Yes, there will be times like this. It happens to all of us. We are not alone in this. And it too shall pass.

'why bother?' author Jennifer Louden is asking me some tough questions right now. In this time of isolation which continues to surprise us in its length, we should have nothing but time to come up with answers. And yet, we can find a million ways to hide.

This is a good book to read, if you too need a gentle but firm nudge. A book to add to your shelf. (Tweet This)

I've always believed that the book finds you when you are ready. So it was a welcome surprise (thank you Calgary Public Library) that this book which I had put on hold some time ago, was ready for pick-up. A proper book, with paper pages that you can turn. I can't ignore that hiding in comfort has been comfortable, kind of, until now. But Jennifer is now asking me some really, really tough questions in just 2 words. why bother?

This is not a vacation

Like many of you reading this, you might have asked yourself this very question today, why bother? It's been a long run now of this quiet time, there are few excuses left for a person not to exercise, eat properly, bake less, read instead of binge. Because similar to those days of childhood, the weeks have become more than a vacation. They have stretched endlessly and if we don't change something, it will go on this way, and the best part of ourselves could be lost.

Oh sure, we all started off well, we washed our baseboards and found hidden treasures buried deep in our freezers. We cleaned out drawers and made piles of things to donate. And then we lost a little steam. Right?

That's okay, we couldn't believe that we had this reprieve from all the noise. And it felt good.

At the beginning of this stretch of time, we could be childlike and postpone! We could live a vacation in a single afternoon. We could be in the zone, chill-out, wait. And now, it's now, except not much has changed. And dare I say it, we're a little bored and a lot scared.

At my desk by the window, it is raining for the third day, there is more rain to come. The Thrift Store that I masked up and went to this morning, was crowded. (And no, there were no treasures for me. Nothing to re-do.) People are getting bored. We want our old lives. Or somehow to know what we should do next.

Avoidance

I have scrolled through every social media account I have, dealt with and responded to most emails in my Inbox and still it is difficult to put my feelings into words. Avoidance is such a big word. I'm trying my best to explain here to you to see if you feel the same. Do you?

The why bother? in my life is looming front and center as it might be in yours. We are tired of not knowing what is coming next. (Tweet This)

So now after answering some of Jennifer's questions, what would happen if we got rid of the why bother? And instead adopt why not?

Regardless of who you are, how old you are, how comfortable you are sitting on your sofa... what would happen if we instead said WHY NOT?, then rolled up our sleeves and tackled down the little voice. The one that has always prevented us from being more? Maybe, even from becoming someone different?

Proof in Print

While cleaning out a cupboard the other day, I found some photo evidence of the creative things I've done over the years, as the small business owner, the gardener, the painter of quotes on my kitchen walls. What happened to that person? Where has she gone?

Hiding in Comfort https://foundandbliss.blogspot.com

I am missing her verve for tackling the new, jumping in with both feet (only knowing that she would somehow land),

why is she hiding in comfort?

So, as I contemplate putting down this pen (sounds so much better than ignoring my keyboard) I think to myself, just be brave! Step off into the unknown and say why not?

What I've realized as time has gone on, is the only permission that counts, is the one that comes from within.

Hiding in Comfort has given me a chance to regroup and discard. To rediscover that doing nothing can be a good thing for a little while but now it's time to Be More.

No more postponing. What would the world look like if we were brave together?

To rediscover that doing nothing can be a good thing for a little while, but now it's time to Be More. (Tweet This)

Now tell me, have you been hiding in comfort? And what will you do next?

Stay well, stay kind.

I'm picking up these things to get me out of hiding. If you'd like to see some of my collage and other crafty work, take a look at Found and Bliss on Pinterest.

Be Witness to Your Life

noreply@blogger.com (Gail Williamson) — Tue, 30 Jun 2020 22:47:00 +0000

Have you noticed how many people are posting old photos on social media these days? How many memories are re-surfacing?

How each conversation sometimes takes on a life of its own? Each one responding with a different take to what they see, adding a fresh perspective of what they remember.

Each one adding to the story.

Many of us have a paper copy of those days, we've rifled through photo albums or shoeboxes to find them. We have re-lived some happy times, because those are usually the ones we documented, printed and filed away. Although, we might find some half-torn photos too. You know the ones I mean.

We need someone to witness them. Because what is our life if we have no one else who also remembers our days? (Tweet This)

There's a wonderful line in the movie, Shall We Dance? which explains the reason for partnership. It says, we need someone to witness our lives. To say, yes this happened! This is what I'm made from.

So as we share these photos, each one is re-lived. Some moments remembered, others no longer re-called. Some that bring pleasure, some that bring pain, some that have little meaning.

A few years ago, some friends and I circulated photos of our college days. We all had a laugh as Michael asked, 'does anyone know who the girl is whose hand I'm holding?' I'm only guessing that she was important to him that day!

I sent a photo to my children a few days ago, asking if they remembered who three of the people were having dinner around our table. Well, we identified one of them. We could not name the young man wearing a beanie and the blonde woman half hidden from the camera. Don't remember why or how they came to be in my dining room. However, they were still a part of our lives, and I have to wonder if they remember us.

Even if those captured moments have been forgotten, those dinners, those class photos with smiling lines, those ski hills the first day of the season, those neighbours next door, they did happen. We have the proof.

This is a good time to go through our memories and talk about them. To give some thought as to why we still have them, what they meant then and what they mean now. Or we might decide that it could be time to get rid of them.

It's like re-reading a book you've had for a long while, looking at your photos will tell you a different story this time. (Tweet This)

Be Witness to your Life, today. Tomorrow will bring new photos. (Tweet This)

Stay well, stay kind.