This is my Life

Blogger Fail but Blogger Success

2017-04-07T08:08:00.002-04:00

Good Morning! Happy Friday!

I have failed miserably for the This is My Life readers. I do apologize. I failed to direct you to my new location when I launched 3 days ago!

My new "do" is This Life. This Wife.

I consider it to be a fresh hair cut where 4-5 inches have been cut off, you know what I'm talking about? I hope that if you have been a faithful reader here, you will take the plunge and move on over with me. I'd love to interact at the new place with my readers! I needed a bit of a change, and Wordpress seemed to be the place to go. I hope you will enjoy the site. I will keep this and may occasionally pop in to direct folks over. Hope to see you in the new neck of the woods!

Breaking Blog Silence. Like Breaking Bad but not at all.

2017-03-21T14:20:00.001-04:00

Happy 2nd Day of Spring! I'm finally seeing some sun and the two feet of snow is melting! Praise!
I've been pretty silent around these parts with good reason...

Yes, yes I've been working like a Santa's elf to get a new blog up and running. Back at the beginning of the year, Jeremy encouraged me to invest time and effort into some creative outlet. I'd run the gamut already of my brilliant ideas and with nothing to show for it. After reading "Restless", I decided to go with what I believe God has gifted me with and write. Why had I been avoiding the ONE thing I love to do? So, off I went and took a writing course in February. I felt like I was back in school all over again with deadlines and such. But nonetheless, here we are. On April 4th, I'm going to launch a new blog- this day is important to me because it's the day Jeremy first emailed me... and then a year later asked me to be his wife. In honor of his encouragement, I will launch the new blog on April 4th! More details to come! Just know.. the move is happening, and we are excited!!!

I've also had the brilliant (maybe crazy idea) to begin another Instagram account. Inspired by @whoawaitwalmart, I looked around and saw how much my house is made up of Dollar store finds. And I began a fun endeavor. Follow along @ohhellodollar to see how to brighten up your home and use cheap finds for hospitality and inviting others in! I think hospitality is one of the smallest, yet impactful, ways of loving others. Dollar store finds assist in making hospitality easy!

Post Op Update

2017-02-21T10:01:00.000-05:00

I'll be the first to admit that I went to all the wrong places looking for any information I could find on cyst removal. Think message boards with uneducated folks sharing their experiences. That's where I was for the week leading up to surgery and for a time after surgery. Every little ache, pain and discomfort I experienced, my fingers could not type it in Google fast enough. This is where things always go south, my friends. I'd heard of how people do this, and I became her. Google had an answer for all- by the time all was said and done, I'd figured out that I had appendicitis and another cyst just 48 hours after surgery was completed. Why yes, yes I did.

My doctor wanted me to schedule my first post-op appointment with him a month in to recovery. Last week Jeremy and I went to my regularly scheduled appointment, and guess what? There was not a sign of appendicitis (clearly that would have been an urgent matter and not waiting a month) nor another cyst as far as we know. The doctor did not perform another ultrasound, but based on the type of cyst I had, it takes a bit of time for those to redevelop.

Can I tell you something? I still heard the doctors words. I heard every word he said. And I came home and cried my eyeballs out the next day. What if the cyst does come back one day? What if this prevents me from getting pregnant? What if my tubes are found to have endometriosis? What if I get pregnant and miscarry? The "What-ifs" continued to mount. It was one thing after the next. A spiral, if you will. And here's where I landed, thankful to land on a solid ground (though it most cases that would hurt).

Tears of repentance are a beautiful thing. It is the Lord's grace that brings repentance. These fears had consumed me. Jeremy would lovingly point out my fears and my need to trust the Lord, but I didn't want to hear any of that. I wanted to pout. I wanted to worry. I wanted to fret. The Lord is gracious to use the husband and friends who speak Truth to lead us to where He needs us -- fully submitted to Him.

The Lord is good. He has placed highly trained professionals in my life who didn't blink, wrinkle their brow or panic at any point during this cyst debacle. There was no "rushing" to the ER. There was no stat tests. There was simply precautionary measurements taken to insure optimum fertility. And the rest is in the hands of God. This is where I sit today. I am trusting the Lord, though terrified, knowing that He is good. All things are in His time, and He has taken care of us thus far.

On Sunday afternoon here in the Empire State, I witnessed two little miracles - It was a high of 68, and I was able to run outside on our bridge for the first time since surgery. I'd done a little shuffle on the treadmill Thursday, but I was running at a slow pace. On Sunday, I ran with my arms wide open just praising the Lord. I did not think I would see that day for quite some time.

I find Jeremy's class motto to be aptly appropriate for this season of my life, yet I will change it a little. The class motto was chosen from George W Bush's speech post 9/11 attacks: Never falter, Never quit.

Except this is my hope - He [our God] never falters; He [my God] never quits.

This Valentine's Day

2017-02-14T11:01:00.001-05:00

Three years ago today I barreled home in my SUV to make it in time for a steak dinner provided by my parents for Valentine's Day. After years in junior high and high school of never receiving the heart-shaped ballon or Valentine-gram, the day of love was never one to be a favorite. Thankfully, the Lord showed me in 2014 how to love others around me, rather than focusing on myself and the lack of a romantic relationship.

However, that evening of driving down Interstate-95 is not lost. The three hour long drive had proved time again to allow the appropriate amount of silence to speak to my God. And what happened to be on my mind this evening -- my future husband (wherever he might have been). I didn't know who he would be at that time, though I was certain I could have presented God with a least that I deemed appropriate. Yet, God had greater plans. That evening the Lord laid it on my heart to pray for the man I would marry and what he would be doing that very evening - whether he was alone or with a gal who would not end of being his wife. I prayed for protection and his growth in the Lord to one day be my spiritual leader.

I've shared this story many times on this blog, but it gets me every single time. What I did not know at this point in my life- I did not know Jeremy Stache. I did not know he had recently proposed to his girlfriend at the time. I did not know she began to second-guess her decision to marry him that very night due to job opportunities that opened up for him. What I know now: God orchestrated every piece and part of our story to bring us together. God put it on my heart to pray for Jeremy's protection that evening and whatever he was going through - though I did not know of a Jeremy Stache until months later. God planned our meeting for just the right time and used these moments to shape us for today - together. In marriage.

Jeremy, on this Valentine's Day I am most thankful for the spiritual leader you are and your ever-pointing me to Christ, though I sometimes kick and scream at your direction. You are patient. You are kind. You are humble and selfless. You are the definition of love her on earth. I love you.

Why Christian Women Shouldn't See 50 Shades

2017-02-11T11:42:00.001-05:00

Call me a rule follower. Call me innocent. Call me ignorant. Call me what you will, but when someone says, "You shouldn't do this or that," I'm one to generally fall in line and obey. When I understood the content of the first installment of books and subsequent movie for 50 Shades of Grey, I knew enough to know it wasn't something I needed to dabble in. I had heard it enough times that Christian women should not go watch this movie much less read the book, and thus that was enough for me. Until now.

On this side of marriage. Now it wants me to stand my ground and tell others why we shouldn't go see this movie.

Though I've never delved into that realm of wanting to know anything about the book, I did find myself looking through more of the plot yesterday and was nauseous. I was nauseous because of the damage soft porn and pornography in general causes to marriages.

It is well known in the Christian community of the prevalence of porn among men; however, movies of this nature offer an option for women. According to a study done by SAGU in 2015, a Christian university, 17% of women in their study population claimed an addiction to pornography. The study also showed 1 in 3 visitors to a pornography website are women. You can read the full article here.

What are the implications?
The multi-million dollar pornography industry creates a dissatisfaction in marriages by allowing men and women to have their sexual fantasies met by means other than their spouse. There are multiple levels in which I could address this; however, I want to look at the emotional/mental aspect. A woman or man who entertains a situation in a hard/soft porn website/book/movie allows thoughts to enter into their mind that are far above the reality of normal sex. Because these expectations far exceed the God-honoring sex sanctioned between a husband and wife, the partner entertaining such situations withdraws from the other and withholds the love and intimacy that are part of the core of sustaining a marriage.

More importantly it leads to a dishonoring of the marriage bed. In Hebrews 13:4, the writer of the letter proclaims: Let marriage be held in honor among all, and the let the marriage bed be undefiled.
The marriage bed is for the man and woman. It is for them to enjoy between the two of them. This is the way God designed it.

This industry and its many components are the "foxes" Solomon wrote about that attempt to sneak in and damage the joy to be experienced between a man and a woman - the intimacy ordained by God between them alone.

In closing, I am reminded of Proverbs 4:23 that admonishes us to guard our hearts. I always thought of this verse in the sense of dating and not giving my heart away to various young men. Yet, it is greatly applicable beyond that thought process - particularly here. Those in Christ are to ever be guarding what enters their minds and hearts. What enters into the heart and mind will steer our course. What may seem harmless will in fact harm over the longer course. Christian woman, guard your heart while you guard your eyes.

Treasure your mind.
Treasure your heart.
Treasure the man in front of you.
Treasure the man who will one day be yours, if the Lord wills.
Treasure your God.

Jealousy

2017-02-08T15:57:00.000-05:00

It happens most notably when I'm scrolling through Instagram. I'll see a picture and want to like it, but there's a tinge in my heart. Not a tinge of excitement, but a little bit of jealousy. It creeps over me, and sometimes (certainly not all of the time) I feel as if I'm missing out on something. Why don't I have her hair? Or that dress? Or that awesome experience? How can I make my makeup like that?

The guarding of the heart in this area of life is not for the faint of heart.

It requires armor. It requires a will for joy. It requires persistence in contentment.

And yet, at the end of it all God permits jealousy.

He what? This is a hard one for me to swallow. But I believe the Lord permits jealousy in our lives for our greater sanctification. Jealousy breeds discontentment; and as one working our their salvation with the accompaniment of the Holy Spirit, there is much putting off the old qualities of man and putting on that which brings life. Thus, we are to put off jealousy and discontentment and put on kindness, humility, compassion and contentment.

This morning I intentionally turned back a few chapters in Exodus to work through a different passage than where I actually ended up landing. I wanted to focus on the glory shining on Moses's face after the Lord passed by Him in the cleft of the rock. Yet, I didn't start in the right place. It is all about the context and so back a chapter I went. There it was: "-- for you shall not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God --" (Exodus 34:14). God is jealous.

But how can God be jealous, when I'm a little jealous of so-so? God can't be jealous because He is God! Just keep reading, Erin. Don't stop to think about that. Get to the veil. Keep going. But the Lord had me stuck there for a moment. He knew I'd been dealing with jealousy in my heart. He knew I needed a teachable moment, and it was found in the verses I'd never intended to read that morning.

Yes, our God is a jealous God. He is jealous for us -- the entirety of us. When I'm scrolling the social media outlet of choice and the tinge overcomes me, it's the same tinge He feels, except His jealousy is times infinity and a holy jealousy. When I'm looking at what everyone else has and wanting what they've got rather than being contented, He's doing the same. He sees me chasing after the things of the world for satisfaction rather than Him, and He is jealous.

Our God is jealous for our attention and desires and delights that find themselves resting in anything but Him. He wants us to look to Him and be satisfied. It's not in the busy schedule, the numerous commitments at church, the children, the career, the growing salary or husband; It's Him. He is our ultimate!

Though my jealousy may come from wanting the things that are not good for me in the moment, His jealousy comes from wanting the one He has created to be completely devoted to Him. And that... that is a good jealousy.

His jealousy is right. His jealousy is pure. His jealousy is for our good. Yes, our God is a jealous God.

And as we read the title to this post, we collectively thought of the Gin Blossoms.

He's Just That Into You

2017-02-06T16:38:00.001-05:00

Each week I have the opportunity of serving a meal to a group of forty to fifty female cadets as part of a Christian ladies luncheon during their normal lunch hour. The ladies file in, grab their meal from the buffet, and then head to an assembly room for a brief message that focuses on principles of the Christian faith and their walk with the Lord. This past week as I was eyeing the salad bowl and debating in my mind whether or not I should add more lettuce and such to the bowl, I heard it. And then the debate in my mind switched gears - Should I say something? Do I interrupt? These girls don't know me.. do I have any weight in this conversation? An iron in the fire? But the talk continued:

Female 1: I went home and bought it. It's a legit book. Stuff like that happens.
Female 2: Have you seen the movie?
Female 3 (who came into conversation late): Are you talking about "He's Just Not That Into You."
Female 1: Yes, It's so good. And that's how guys are.

I couldn't take it any longer and had to interrupt. I, myself, had owned the book at one point in life. I knew what it contained and easily convinced myself to throw the thing away knowing there was nothing biblical within the confines of the front and back cover.

These books - He's Just Not That Into You, Fifty Shades of Grey, The Feminist Mystique, just to name a few- are all steering women away from a dating/courtship that fosters the femininity of a woman and the masculinity of a man. These ladies who long to be in relationship wanted any nugget of information they could receive about the opposite sex and how to "reel" them in or know whether or not they the man was even worth casting a line towards.

As the remainder of our conversation unfolded, I had the opportunity to point these ladies back to the plans of the Lord for their lives, rather than them searching amongst a book written by a man who is not a believer for all the answers to their relationship woes. I needed to point them instead to the One who had written the very story of their lives.

And so, I will share with you. Dear one, if you are single, The Lord knows the plans He has for you. He knew you before you were even a thought in your parents' mind; He knew you before time began. How grand for us to even imagine! Some may venture to ask, "Does He truly give us the desire for marriage, or do we create that one on our own?" I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, marriage is a desire given to us by the Lord. We are already self-centered individuals as singles; therefore, it would be uncharacteristic for a selfish human being to desire to unite with another self-centered human being in matrimony, apart from the Lord's intervention. He plants the desire for marriage within our hearts because it is through the institution of marriage that He will show the world a picture of the gospel. Thus that desire for marriage originates from Him for His purpose of sharing His gospel.

Though this desire for marriage be present, it may not be on our own timetable. It may be years from now. Sigh. I know. I never wanted that either. As the twenty-four year old looked at me seemingly believing I did not understand her desire for marriage, I could only reply with a response of my age when I was married. I married Jeremy six months after I turned 31 and ten years after I thought I would be married. Though some may be older and still single, I use this example to firmly declare the timing is not our own.

"Erase my desire, Lord!," you may say. Yet as the clay cannot speak back to the potter, why would we fight against the One who has given such desires. If He has given, we must receive and trust that He will fulfill.

There is One who is in to you. He is completely into you - so into you that He gave His Son as your ransom. He put His wrath towards His one and only Son that you might live - live and be free, and live unto Him. Dear sister, because of this, rest assured that He has wonderful plans for your life - possibly a husband and family of your own, possibly a ministry you've wanted to pour in to, possibly a home in another country to share more of Him - whatever it be, He has you. He has your plans and will reveal them in His perfect timing. He has your future -- because He's just that into you.

An aside: I loved reading Passion and Purity and Quest for Love by Elisabeth Elliot during the season of singleness.

January Book Review

2017-02-02T15:47:00.000-05:00

This post contains affiliate links. This means a small commission is earned if you purchase anything via the links provided. Thanks for supporting businesses that support This Is My Life.

Oh how I love to read! This year I've challenged myself to read 60 books in 2017. What am I thinking?? Life seems busier now than it was when I worked 2 jobs sans a husband, but somehow I managed to accomplish 50 books then. I'm upping the ante/ raising the stakes and shooting for the stars of 60 books! And so, I begin again. I'll spread the wealth each month with my monthly book reviews. Add them to your Beach Reads List... Oprah has nothing on this book club.

First Women: The Grace and Power of America's Modern First Ladies

Ok, so I started reading First Women shortly after Christmas, but it took me a while, and I finished in the New Year. That counts, right? This book was everything my history-lovin heart wanted it to be. Now I'm hooked on all things Presidents' wives. The book explored the lives of the first ladies from Jackie Kennedy to Michelle Obama and everyone in between. Y'all - the drama is real! I was hooked to find out who didn't like who - who snubbed who- who were actual friends; it's all there. The only thing I didn't particularly care for is the layout of the book. Chapters were based on subject matters, rather than one chapter per First Lady. That made it a little more difficult to keep up with especially when trying to navigate the actual marriages and affairs. Whew! This is a must read.

Grace, Not Perfection: Embracing Simplicity, Celebrating Joy

There was a girl who walked into the bookstore and saw this pink and gold cover and just knew - This is the book for me. So I did what any girl would do and marched myself up to the counter. Grace Not Perfection is the book that has challenged me to just slow it down. I want everything to be in order and perfectly aligned. I don't even know what it means to rest, know what I mean? I wrote a little about this book here. With grace, we can thrive. If God has shown me such grace, then I certainly need to show myself grace as well as others that same grace.

Bulletproof

Bulletproof is for all the Teen Mom fans! I have watched this show from the beginning. Call it a guilty pleasure? But I am a fan - well maybe not of Farrah. I'm proud of these girls for keeping their babies and wanting to be parents, despite the circumstances. Maci wrote about it all - from before Bentley was born to the potential struggle of having her second and surprise of her third child. I seriously found myself going to Hulu to watch old episodes of the show as I read through the book. If you've ever watched the show, this is the book for you.

Hiding from Reality: My Story of Love, Loss, and Finding the Courage Within

Look, I was honest in my About Me section that I loved a train-wrecked celeb bio, and well, this one was just that. Y'all. Hiding from Reality is about Taylor Armstrong who was a regular cast member of Real Housewives: Beverly Hills. The show definitely showcased some of her troubled relationship with husband, Russell. But this book just laid it all out in the open. Beyond just the normal celebrity aspect, the book also showed insight into the regular cycle of domestic abuse. I know Taylor wanted to share her story to help other women recognize their own trappings of abuse, and I think she handled it in an appropriate manner, for the most part.

The Residence: Inside the Private World of the White House

Now - it's Inauguration Day. You could find me curled up under my electric blanket reading this gem. How appropriate! The Residence is written by the same author as First Women. Once I knew it was out there, I just had to have it. Honestly, I liked this book better, if that's even possible. Especially, with it's timely arrival by Jan 20th, I was so invested as everything unfolded on TV. Though there were many moments that made me want to know just a bit more, the White House backstory on September 11, 2001 was enough to bring tears to my eyes. This book is once you must grab! Buy it. Read it. Share with a friend. It's just that good.

Restless: Because You Were Made for More

Restless. I could just end there. I'm going to say this. I was a little skeptical about this book. I'm not in love with women Christian authors sometimes. To be fair. I hadn't heard much about Jennie Allen. I've been living under a rock for sure. But this book has challenged me so much. The end of this book resulted in an hour long discussion with Jeremy the other night about all the Lord had showed me while working through this book. We are a restless generation ladies. We need to rest in Him and the gifts and places and people He has given us - bringing glory to Him. I plan to write an entire post about all I learned - but for now .. I think this will do!

Alright. This ends January reading! On to February.. I mean, we are already there.

Any books I should put on my list? Let me know!

#prayersforAmelia

2017-01-27T12:37:00.001-05:00

Today I write for Amelia.

Amelia and I were able to meet during our time at Southeastern. We were both in hot pursuit of degrees that would allow us to grow in the Lord and share our love for Him with others. Our mutual friend, Jonathan, connected us one Wednesday evening. And now, I know it was a meeting coordinated by the Lord.

Amelia and were not able to hang out in person as much due to the fact that she moved home, so we became quick long distance friends. Our friendship grew by leaps and bounds as we made weekly appointments to talk over the phone. Much of our conversations include and continue to include prayer requests and what the Lord is teaching us -- this is the stuff Christian friendships are founded upon. This is the good stuff the apostle John meant when he said his joy was made complete.

My sweet friend has been experiencing quite a few health problems over the past couple of years. It was truly a blessing of the Lord she was able to be apart of our wedding. For that I am thankful. I'm writing this post to ask for your prayers for this sweet friend of mine. In the near future she will need to make some decisions about the next steps for her health. Please pray the Lord would give Amelia, her family and the doctors much wisdom as they determine the options available for her.

I'm always encouraged by the story of Moses, Aaron and Hur on top of the mountain while Joshua was fighting the Amalekites below. As long as Moses's arms were raised, Joshua was victorious. But Moses's arms got tired. He needed help for the victory. Aaron and Hur came alongside and held Moses's arms up in the air when he was tired, so the Israelites could win the battle. We are Aaron and Hur for Amelia. We are going before the Lord and holding up her arms when Amelia can't do it for herself. We are her friends fighting for her. Join me in praying for Amelia.

Amelia's friend, Becky, wrote a blog encouraging prayers for our friend. You can read her blog here. Please feel free to share with others either blog.

Show and Tell Tuesday: Steal and Splurge

2017-01-24T15:21:00.001-05:00

I always loved a good "Show and Tell" in kindergarten, so I'm pleased as a peach to link up with Andrea at Momfessionals for Show and Tell Tuesday to share a few ways this household does a STEAL and a SPLURGE.

We are by no means couponing people. I tried. I really did. I watched multiple episodes of "Extreme Coupling" and became inspired. But it's just not something I want to put the effort or brain power into. My hats are off to those who do it, and do it well. We try to save in other areas. These are the STEALS.

We buy Broadway tickets at half price.

Living close to the city allows us the opportunity to ride in within an hour, do something fun, and get out before it's too late. We decided we would try to see a few shows when we got married, but these shows aren't for the ones who don't want to spend a little cash. A friend of mine told me all about Broadway Week and half price tickets. They do one in the Fall and one in the Winter. There may be a few more, but I'm not certain. We were able to see Wicked in September and will see Dear Evan Hansen in a few weeks for less than $150 for two tickets. Broadway needs to keep the income high, so they run these specials when people are naturally coming to the city in masses. Word to the wise - Plan a trip to the Apple accordingly.

We stalk out plane tickets.

We travel quite a bit because our families don't live close by - so either I'm buying tickets for us, or I'm helping them scope out the greatest deals. Kayak offers a great service of helping you know just the right time to buy a flight. (This is also my own opinion.) I usually start looking about 9 weeks out from my trip to know when to strike. The best time is between Monday night and Thursday night around 7-8 weeks out.

We use the Old Navy card to buy largish purchases.

We don't typically buy anything on credit. It's just easier to go ahead and pay it out. However, I found the Old Navy card does a few great Rewards stints throughout the year. I try to maximize my larger purchases with this card - flights, hotels, play tickets etc-- so I can earn "bucks" back. After Christmas I was able to buy two pair of jeans without paying a dime. Hello!?! It can't get much easier than that.

I started using SwagBucks.

Insert an eye-roll years ago. I used to think I didn't have time for this. BUT I search the Internet for anything and EVERYTHING. Why wouldn't I take the opportunity to earn SwagBucks while I search the Internet. Fellow blogger Bailey introduced me to this on her blog. Basically you earn SwagBucks by making your normal online purchase through their site. You get a percentage back and your bucks add up. You can turn those into useful gift cards to make your normal purchases. How easy and fantastic is that?! You can use my referral link: here to start your own account. (I do get a bonus of 10% of your SB purchases towards my own SB account.) Let the fun begin!

And this... this is where we SPLURGE.

I am a Loft girl.

For the most part, I like to buy my stuff at Loft. I use my Old Navy bucks for the occasional trendy piece that can fit into my wardrobe. But Loft provides the basics that will last a lifetime. Maybe not a lifetime, but you know. It's all about the quality.

We like to travel.

We like to splurge by traveling and taking in all the opportunities around us. This past year we were able to go to Disney World, Niagara Falls, Boston, South Carolina and Tennessee. We pretty much did some of the cheaper options at each place but also took part in military discounts. The splurge is that we get to travel often!

We are starting to eat more natural products and organic meats.

Because I don't want to put a picture of organic chicken on here, these meats are big splurges. After the cyst situation of 2016, I decided to incorporate more wholesome eating into our diet. Yes, it does cost more, but I'm hoping (and I know) it will make an impact on our overall well-being.

I'm sure there are more ways we Splurge and Save/Steal but for now.. the laundry is calling. Happy Tuesday!

Joseph

2017-01-19T10:48:00.000-05:00

It has been three years since I've read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. This year I decided it was time to do that again. I crave structure, and there is no better form of structure than to go in order. However, I decided I would take my journey through the Bible slowly. I'm certain I've grown as a believer over the past three years because the Lord is most assuredly faithful in that, so now is the time to take it all in again. No rush. No finish by 2018 resolution (It stings a little to go ahead and mention the next year like that.) Just taking my time. With that being said, I hope to occasionally post about some of what the Lord is teaching me - His Word does not return void. You should know, however, that occasionally is a vague term that takes on various meanings for me. And because this post is overdue - there will be several posts coming up. Here we have...

Joseph

Joseph isn't much different than you, or I.

He was a dreamer, literally. He had a family. He was a rule follower and did exactly what his father asked him to do and checked on his brothers. He was the prized child and had a beautiful coat to prove it. But that's not where we are alike.

Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers because they were quite jealous of the special treatment he received by their father. Their own envy prompted them to "get rid" of Joseph for a small price. When I was reading this passage, I couldn't help but think of Judas who betrayed Jesus for a small price as well. Eventually, Joseph found himself in the land of Egypt working for the royal official, Potiphar. Just like any good soap opera, when a woman doesn't get her way she cries wolf. Because Joseph chose to honor the Lord by not having an affair with Potiphar's wife, the wife made false accusations against him, and thus Joseph was sent to jail. But. There's always a but. But in the midst of that prison cell - dark, dank, smelly, filthy- the Lord was with Joseph and showed him love and gave him favor in the sight of the guards. Joseph was allowed to be in charge of all the prisoners. The Lord gave Joseph the ability to interpret dreams and used his gift to provide meaning to the dreams of key people in Pharaoh's court, who were also in prison at the time. Upon release, the cupbearer promised to tell the Pharaoh about Joseph, but he was forgotten. It wasn't until two years later when the Pharaoh had a few dreams that the cupbearer remembered Joseph. Joseph was brought before the Pharaoh and interpreted his dreams, noting it was God who would give him the ability to find the meaning of the Pharaoh's dreams. Because the Pharaoh was pleased, he placed Joseph in charge of all operations needed to brace for the season of famine that was coming. Joseph found himself, as a Hebrew, in Egypt and in a place of power.

This is where you and I are like Joseph. Joseph sat in that prison cell for years, even an additional two years after he thought he would be released. This wasn't a condition he chose. I'm sure it wasn't ideal. We, you and I, find ourselves in that place, don't we? How in the world did I end up in this place? I can't seem to find an end to all of this! Why is God doing this? For a faithful guy like Joseph, I think he might have asked the same questions. Yet Joseph continued to believe God had something for him. He just didn't know what. Eventually it would all come full circle to where Joseph was able to bring his family into Egypt, who were also effected by the famine, and save and protect that remnant of God's people.

Joseph needed to be hated by his brothers.
He needed to be sold into slavery.
He needed to work for Potiphar.
He needed to honor the Lord and avoid an affair.
He needed to be thrown into prison.
Grab this one! He needed to use the Lord's gifts to interpret those dreams.
He needed to be remembered two years later, at just the right time for Pharaoh's dreams.
He needed to be put in charge of storing and saving food.
He needed the favor of the Lord through Pharaoh to have his family live in Goshen and multiply.
Joseph had to be hated by his brothers in order to save his brothers and become the great nation God needed.

I'll be honest. I had a melt down last night. I'm tired of feeling yucky and moving slowly and now having a UTI. But I need the Lord to remind me that I needed to have this cyst. I needed to slow down and cling to Him. I needed to see God for God - every day, all day. I needed that dumb pain in my side to know that I'm not promised normal, but I am promised eternity.

God has a plan, and He works all things for good.
I am Joseph.
You are Joseph.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Genesis 50:20

The Body

2017-01-15T18:22:00.000-05:00

The human body is interesting. It's daily functions deep beneath the layers of our skin is something I have taken for granted. When everything is functioning properly, we fail to recognize there is, in fact, any functioning at all. Until. It's not until things go wrong that we begin to recognize all the intricacies of how our body works. Three months ago, after excruciating pain, I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst. Doctors shrugged it off as going away soon, yet I couldn't shake the fact that it was even there. I began to dive in and research how God had created the female body and was blown away. I was met with the understandings of our bodies constantly having cysts in the ovaries and how these cyst are primarily always for good - the release of an egg. Until. Until that cyst doesn't release, and it decides to stay around for a little while. This past Thursday I entered the hospital with peace and fear wrapped into one; the cyst had received its final eviction notice. What we affectionately deemed "ChadBear" was being taken out for good. As I sit here and type, I am utterly amazed at the knowledge, the tools, the doctors, the anesthesia- all given by a good and perfect God for our good. And we praise Him - the cyst was taken out and no evidence of endometriosis was found.

The body of believers is overwhelming good. The Lord did not mean for us to walk this world alone. He established the primary relationship for man and woman in the garden. Beyond that scope we were meant for relationship - with Him and with others. Throughout the last three days, the body has surrounded us - me. I refer to them as my "girls" - they are the ones the Lord gifted me in Raleigh. We have walked together for several years. I lean on them. They lean on me. We have Christ that holds us together and has brought us into fellowship with one another. I'd like to think we would all be cool to be friends regardless, but it is our God that gives us the depth of friendship that surpasses any other relationship. Outside of Him we don't have true, genuine fellowship. Beyond that, there were magazines and snacks in the mail when we arrived home on Friday. Flowers were in the kitchen. The Lord also provided a body here, in New York, that has provided meals and snacks during recovery. When friends volunteer, my natural default is to say "we've got this". Now that I've hobbled for a couple of days, we definitely didn't have it. Those meals have meant the most to us during this time. Prayers, texts, phone calls, cards - the body of believers - from near and far have supported us and encouraged us during this moment of life.

The body as a wife and Christ as the husband - it's a marvelous, beautiful mystery. I am thankful each day affords me the opportunity for the love I have for Jeremy to grow. I didn't think it was possible. Yet, over the last couple of days my love continues to grow for him, as I have seen him sacrifice himself for me as Christ did for the body. From sleeping on a poorly crafted hospital cot and helping me brush my teeth after surgery to washing my hair salon style, pulling up my pants when I can't bend over and propping my feet up because they are still swollen. He has given me his minutes, literally every second, this weekend to assist me, so that I can recover well. The Lord has shown me the goodness of marriage in an entirely different light. - Jeremy, I love you more today than yesterday and will love you more tomorrow than I do today.

Romans 8:28 says that all things work for our good. Yet three months ago, I would have never believed a cyst could work for my good. But it has. He has used the cyst to show me more of His faithfulness and that my body is not my own. He has increased my faith. The cyst has increased my fear.. and then the Lord increased my faith again. God has shown me how I must literally walk by faith in every situation - shakily, holding on to a wheel chair on the 4th floor so I can be released. He has shown me the sacrificial love of Christ through my husband. This cyst has resulted in my pride being pushed to the side and allowing others to serve me. God has used this situation to open my eyes to the greater beauty of the body of believers and how we are bound together in Christ to love and support one another for the glory of God. He has used this little thing to slow me down and rest! Our God is purposeful and good in all things. Yes, in all things. I do believe it.

** After 4 incisions; the removal of a 5.9 cm/ sausage link-like cyst wrapped around my tubes; an overnight hospital stay; being cathed in the wrong hole (I can't even); and, nearly blacking out every time I tried to walk, a girl just needs to get her hair washed (however that must happen - I'm talking old school dump the jug of water on your hair and scrub style) and get her hair straightened to feel like a new woman. **

Enough

2017-01-09T09:39:00.001-05:00

I am enough.

I live for award show season. It's the highlight of my winter, as I prepare to nestle onto the couch under a thick blanket and marvel at the beautiful dresses to grace the red carpet. In fact, last night I was so wired up about the Golden Globes I had to put my phone away from chatting with a friend, or I never would have gone to sleep. Thankfully last night I was able to keep these eyes open just in time to see Viola Davis introduce Meryl Streep for the Cecille B Demille Lifetime Achievement Award.

Among many other words, these stood out the most and shone as bright as Davis's yellow Michael Kors gown:

"You make me proud to be an artist. You make me feel that what I have in me- my body, my face, my age- is enough."

I'm a words person. And those words stole my breath away. Even watching the footage over again, so I could accurately record her speech here, still makes me sigh in peace.

The lie we believe on the a regular basis as women, and even men, is that somehow we are not enough. We aren't pretty enough. We aren't a good enough wife, mother, friend, daughter, and yes - Christian. We somehow believe we are falling short of everyone's expectations which put us back into another cycle of doubt, frustration, and attempts to achieve this ideal we have created in our heads.

Though I'm not looking to Meryl Streep to make me feel as if I'm enough, the apostle Paul says in Colossians 2:10 - "... and in Him you have been made complete." In Christ, we are complete. We are given the mind of Christ. We are given righteousness through Christ. We have been given all wee need for life in Christ. That sense of completion makes us ENOUGH. Our body, our age, our minds, our responsibilities and roles - we are enough. It is Him who makes us enough. Sure, we can't do it on our own, but we find the peace of being enough in Christ.

Friday on the Today Show (again a television reference), Jenna Bush Hager was talking about how she often looks back at pictures of her size and wishes she could be that certain weight again. Her husband reminded her that she really didn't look any different than the pictures. She shared with Hoda about how he encouraged her to not wait to look forward to that time when she was satisfied but let that "day" start today.

Jenna's husband's advice isn't scriptural based, but it has implications for the believer. We can choose to dwell on right, true, lovely things - Philippians 4. Why prolong that? God has declared us enough. Thus we can choose to believe what He has said about us, or we can keep on living miserably and doubting our goodness. Today is the day to believe that I am enough. - My body, my age, my place in life, my role as a wife - I am enough. You are enough.

Here's to 2017

2016-12-30T17:27:00.001-05:00

When I was in seminary, all of my friends would head out to our church's gym on Monday nights to play volleyball. Being the social butterfly that I can sometimes be, I caught a ride to the church only to park myself on the floor and watch everyone. I always shrugged it off as not being very good at volleyball, not wanting to disappoint my friends who were definitely better than I was. I failed to try many things because I wasn't sure if I would be any good. My risk assessment of a new activity and whether or not I would participate was solely based on how well I would perform at the given task -- If not well, then I disguised it as looking out for the other person or "it just not being my thing." Can you see the trend here?

At the beginning of the month I decided to take a step away from Facebook in hopes to diminish the many comparison traps my mind plays. Though much of that tricky little Newsfeed contributed to stealing me of joy, I'm convinced the Lord was using this to show me a deeper heart issue. Enter: perfectionism. Now truth be told, I've always known this about myself. I've prized it in academia. I've applauded it when I've set my mind to running certain goals or limiting specific foods in my diet. I'm all in. What I failed to realize until now is the perfectionist tendencies have really pulled the plug on any sort of abundant life the Lord has given me.

If you know me at all, then you may very well know that I'm always tired. For a time I just thought that was "go to" response in a dull moment of conversation. However, I'm not too easily convinced of that anymore. I'm tired physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually because I'm always striving or just surviving toward this standard that I've set for myself in all areas of my life. I've recently begun reading Emily Ley's "Grace Not Perfection" and felt a moment of shout-it-from-the-rooftops freedom as she pointed out the fact that no where in the Bible does it tell us to have size 4 jeans, a homemade meal on the table at 6, with clean floors. THIS. This is what I have been after my entire life. I laughed because those size 4 jeans are where I'm sitting and had a moment earlier that day where I was at peace with that size. Whew. I've also never been one to even know what relaxation looks like. Every roommate and now permanent roommate can attest - I can't sit still. Ley says something to the effect that we feel like we aren't measuring up when we are not busy. Yes and Yes! But to what end? Why do I need to be busy? Who said dinner had to be ready by 6? [Jeremy certainly hasn't.]

I hold myself to this standard of perfection that has never been forced upon me. No one has said things have to be the way I assume they must. It's all in my head. The Lord has sufficiently and abundantly provided all that we have needed. He does demand our perfection - this is why Christ was provided. Yet, the Pinterest worthy outfits, A++ meals, neatly pressed shirts or dirt free floors are not a part of that. He calls us to holiness. He calls us to walk by the Spirit- denying the flesh- living according to His Word- but realizing our sanctification is not a one-time moment but as we continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of Him.

With the beginning of 2017 only hours away, I am looking forward to thriving in this opportunity the Lord has given me. No longer striving... no longer just trying to survive, but thriving. He will give the grace I need when those perfectionist tendencies rear their ugly head and my "perfect imperfectionist" doesn't happen the way I desire. That wears me out just thinking about it! ha. Here's to 2017!

May we grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ!

The Greatest Gift Exchange

2016-12-15T17:30:00.004-05:00

There's an infamous story circulating amongst some of my friend group where at one time I was to take a cookie for free from the Firehouse Subs worker. He insisted I take it without paying. I do believe the cookie must've been old, and he was not wanting me to have to pay for such a poor-quality chocolate chip cookie (though I believe all cookies are good cookies). However, some believe this young lad (oh was he young!) was attempting to flirt with me. Nevertheless, the situation played out where I insisted I must pay for my cookie. I continued to push the dollar to the worker's register only to be beckoned by my friends to just take the cookie. This is clear evidence of my "gift" mentality. I love to give. But it's hard to get -- without giving something in return. In a sense, I want to pay my "gift" debt off!

And this is why I find the gospel to be difficult. I want to pay back the gift that's been given to me. I assume the gift as a wage or a debt.. certainly not a gift. And for far too long I have continuously fought this idea of salvation as a gift. I'm sure I'll continue to wrestle it because I'm not perfect. But for now, I want to stick to this verse:

For our sake, he made him to be sin who knew no sin,

so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 5:21

You see what Jesus did there. He took on my sin and gave me His righteousness. The debt for my sin has been paid, and He has gifted me with His righteousness aka "nothing left for me to do". Theologians call this "The Great Exchange." God has gifted me with reconciliation to Himself because of His love for me - not because of anything I or you have done. Y'all. I've read this verse numerous times, but I'm so grateful for how God sheds new light. I find it so hard to graciously accept gifts. But this is a gift that I want to hold onto and cling to for everything it's worth. His gift of righteousness and thus reconciliation to Himself is the greatest gift I will ever receive. I don't have to work for anything or earn anything or be a certain somebody. It is given to me. The pivotal purpose of this verse is to show us that we don't have to walk in that old way of thinking and sin, but He has come to give us life in Himself. Wow y'all! The righteousness of Christ changes us. Though the Lord saved me years ago, I am a large project in the Lord's hands and am thankful He continuously teaches and refines me - especially with this verse.

This Christmas I want to be enamored by the grace of our God in reconciling us to Himself. This is why we sing "Joy to the World" - Joy comes because we have been reconciled to God. Joy comes because He has made all things new. Joy comes because we are not living in an Old Testament world but are living on this side of a promise for the eternal rule and reign of Christ. Joy comes because the Lord has come. Let us receive our King. Let us worship Him. Let us rejoice in our gift!

Wherever you are, be all there.

2016-11-28T23:00:00.000-05:00

This past Thanksgiving weekend Jeremy and I traveled to TN which gave quite a few hours in the car. We entertained ourselves with free music from Sirius and 90s on 9 as well as some 90s trivia with some theological discussions sprinkled in between. In the many, many down moments that one would expect on a 12 hour drive one way, I found myself turning to that dreaded social media outlet of Facebook. At the end of our round trip, I realized just how much time was spent scrolling the endless newsfeed of Facebook. In short, time was wasted. Moments in the car could have and should have easily been spent having conversations with my husband. Don't get wrong, we talked a lot! But even while in TN, I found myself scrolling the feed. But even on the regular day to day when not in TN, I find myself scrolling the feed.

And what comes of that? I fail to live in the moment. I fail to treasure what I have now. I fail to be content and begin to compare myself to everyone else. Here I am standing on top of the Empire State building and I'm jealous that someone in NC is going to a favorite restaurant of mine. What is that? It's the seed of discontent and comparison that is sown when we allow ourselves to dwell in it - That dwelling in a Facebook newsfeed continues to grow those seeds.

Saturday night I was reminded of Jim Elliot's famous quote, "Wherever you are, be all there." I'm certain the Lord brought this to mind as I began to realize just how often I can be consumed with comparing myself to others. It's a dirty little mind game the enemy plays when he has us captivated in the world of faces. We begin stacking up our lives next to everyone on Facebook and compare ourselves, our husbands, the romance between us, the children or lack of, the jobs, the houses, the clothes, the fun things everyone else seems to be doing when we are just at home watching a Hallmark movie (because let's be honest, that's been my life for the past couple of weeks.) Because I believe Jesus has come to give us abundant life both eternally and while we are on the earth, the enemy has used Facebook to detract as much as possible from that abundant life He has given. John 10:10 says "The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy; I have come so they might have life and have it to the full!" Whatever way he [the enemy] can rob us, he will - If he can rob us through Facebook, then he will by all means. But this is what HE gives:

Abundant life is a morning spent with the Lord reading His Word, without a perfectly placed journal and cup of joe.
Abundant life is the romance of a husband who puts up the Christmas tree and plays Christmas music and is not defined by a fancy dinner or carriage ride through New York City.
Abundant life is being a couch potato with the one you love while wearing sweats and it being okay.
Abundant life is serving your church.
Abundant life is loving your girlfriends and an hour long chat.
Abundant life is a run .. a walk.. a good porch sitting.
Abundant life is where the Lord is and the contentment He gives in the smallest of ways.
This is life to the full.

And so, at least for the remainder of the year, I will be leaving Facebook behind and making my account inactive. I want to be present. I want to be content. I want to be in His presence and enjoy. I want to be all there - with my husband, with my family, with my friends. Wherever I am, I want to be all there!

Though I plan to leave behind Facebook, I will continue to post on here frequently - writing is what I love.

Romance doesn't always look like what most pictures on social media portray. But

Sunday night - Jeremy romanced me. He put some Christmas music on Spotify and assembled

the tree. He also helped me spread out all the branches, which I don't love to do. Romance

comes in all shapes, sizes and forms.

Love Doesn't Win #ButJesusDoes

2016-11-15T13:14:00.000-05:00

My heart is heavy. The rain is falling without an end in sight. The fog looms over the Hudson River so thick that I can't see the mountains just on the other side. The Christmas tree candle is lit. And my heart is heavy.

Last night my friend Jill texted me about a Christian mom blogger who had recently come out about her relationship with another woman. This woman's past is seemingly tragic as she has dealt with bulimia, anxiety, and a repeatedly disloyal husband. Her article with US Weekly quotes an excerpt from a recent Facebook quote about the relationship: "And oh my God, she is so good to me. She loves me for all the things I've always wanted to be loved for. She's just my favorite."

This is why my heart is heavy:

We live in a world where the Christian community is slowly, and quickly at the same time, exchanging the Truth for a lie. It is one thing for unbelievers to walk in a path of opposition to the Almighty, but it is an entirely different thing for those who have professed to be followers of Christ to turn aside from His Word for their own self-seeking vices. Those who profess to be Christians must adhere to the Truth of Scripture - nothing added, nothing taken away. Our God clearly established the sanctity of marriage in Genesis 1 when He created man and woman to cohabit the garden. It was not man and man; it was not woman and woman. As believers we are called to uphold this sanctity of marriage first.. We do not condemn but we also do not overlook the sin.

I have been reading from John 8 for the past week and have been caught on Jesus' famous words -"you shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free." What does that even mean when Hollywood has twisted it in so many ways? According to Piper, Christ is the only one who can set us free from the sin that enslaves us- Sin that enslaves us produces compelling desires within that are exalted above Christ.

The desire for marriage? A good thing but sinful when its a greater desire than God.
The desire for the pain to be removed? A good thing in moderation but sinful when pain medication becomes the addiction that numbs and inhibits worship of the Lord.
The desire for a child? A commission to be fruitful given by God but detrimental when it consumes more than a love for God.
The desire to be loved? A good thing but sinful when that loves comes at the expense of denying God's love and substituting the love from an extramarital affair, a hot pursuit of a man/woman, a homosexual relationship.

When I look at this Facebook post from the blogger, I see a woman who has been hurt in her past and desires to be loved the correct way. Her so choosing was to believe love could be found in fullest form when given by a woman. And the world applauded her for finding love because "she deserves it." I'm sorry but when did the Christian community start encouraging someone because "they deserved it". I believe the Lord has called me to be a mother, but it wouldn't be acceptable for me to go steal someone's child to meet that desire. Clearly at that point the desire is greater than my desire for the One who gives life. But no one would be applauding my stealing a child because "I deserved it".

The Truth that sets us free... The Truth that will continue to set us free.. is that Christ, not love, is the One we fix our eyes upon. He is the One who meets all of our needs - perfectly and completely. He is the One who frees us from the domination of sin and shows us a better way - HIM. Because this is what I've truly come to believe and I know it to be right, He is the only one who can satisfy. Though I don't perfectly have it all worked out, I know it to be right because His Word says so. No man, no woman, no child, no pain medication, no alcohol can satisfy like He does. What does that mean? It means that Jesus has met our greatest need of salvation by freeing us from the domination of sin and freeing us to life eternal with Him. When that becomes greater, all other desires are lesser. It means that He gives life to the full, when the world can only bring emptiness. It means when everyone else is chanting "Love Wins", He is the One who is saying "I've already won!"

Let us be a people who stand firm in the truths of God's Word-- not bending, now bowing out --- but standing on the Rock. We will not be tossed from side to side. We will not be moved. We will confess our sin and stand on His grace. We will cling to the glory that is set before us. We will chant #JesusWins.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,

that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable

and perfect. Romans 12:2

Friday Favorites

2016-11-11T16:59:00.004-05:00

Friday! Fri-Yay! Today I'm linking up for Friday favorites, so let's get to it, shall we?

Jeremy is my FAVORITE Veteran. Though I haven't experienced the deployment side of being a military spouse, I am so thankful for my veteran. He has served our country for the past 10 years. I'm thankful for his service and for all those who have served our country to give us the freedoms we enjoy today.

#mymaninuniform #ThisisAmerica

I am so pleased Gap has come back alive with their colorful sweaters. I get tired of seeing all the boring neutrals. Last week Shay mentioned this sweater, so I got to investigating. This sweater has me ready for Christmas! It will definitely be a FAVORITE!

I love a good celeb bio and found Melissa Rycroft's bio at the Dollar Tree of all places. I could not put this book down! After all Jason put her through, I was ready to hear her side of the story. This book did not disappoint!

Mrs. Bush introduced this snack mix to me several years ago on our road trip to Nashville. Let's just say, I forget about it each year until Thanksgiving rolls around again. When I see it on the Target shelf, I nearly gasp aloud and want to put the entire stock in my cart. It's definitely a FAVORITE to kick off the holiday season.

Have a great weekend everyone! The weekend is here! A-Men!

Life of September/October

2016-11-10T08:40:00.000-05:00

Happy Thursday fine folks! While I'm sitting here hanging out with my friends of the Today Show and wading through all this post election talk, I decided to make use of my time and post all the happenings from September and October.

At the end of September, the mama, the daddy and the aunt all came up for a visit! We decided to take a day in the city and my dad's one request for the entire trip was John's Pizza. Who knew this man of the south would come to be one who has his own personal requests in New York City?!? John's Pizza did not disappoint.. nor does it ever.

Top of the Rock has become my new favorite! Take me right on up. I love the views here BECAUSE I want to SEE the Empire State Building rather than being on top of it.

My family decided to take the tour of West Point, and we were able to come back and see the cadets practicing for a parade. #justanotherdayatWestPoint

Jeremy and I celebrated our first year of wedded bliss in BOSTON! We walked the Freedom Trail, ate all the pastries, toured Fenway.. and my favorite.. visited Plymouth Rock. It seems rain will forever be the theme of our wedding weekend festivities! #cantstopus

Oh y'all! I trucked my way through David McCullough's John Adams and we just so happened to be near his house. Can you sense the excitement?

Envisioning all the pilgrims..

The following weekend we celebrated Jeremy's 10 Year Reunion! He was an '06er and quite the baseball player. #Ialwayswantedtomarryabaseballplayer

We were able to see his friends Jeremy and Nicki and spend most of the weekend with them.

I visited the city one more time before jet-setting to the South to do that aunt thing. Speaking of aunt life, Amanda and I snapped a picture in the Zaxbys parking lot advertising her pregnancy. #classy

But I was so glad she was able to meet up for dinner as soon as I made it to the land of sweet tea and fried chicken aka Zaxbys and Chickfila and KFC and Bojangles. #Imuststopthere

Finally was able to see Devon's new studio and have breakfast with Anna!

My favorite kitten and little duck. Y'all. She wasn't feeling it. But he was a happy little clam.

This past Friday I was able to listen in on Jeremy's theology group with some cadets. So encouraged to see them desiring to grow in the Lord. BUT I had to take a picture of him in his uniform.. because I love a man in uniform! #mcevrrrrday

Army/Air Force game was this past Saturday, and I had big plans to help serve pretzels and drinks at the BCM concession stand. When I found out Erika was going to be at the game, I just had to meet her! I've been following her blog for quite some time. We were able to chat, and she was so encouraging and sweet as could be! #wearegirlsnotmadeforthecold

And finally.. THIS. This is what most of my drive around the area looks like. I'm the girl taking pictures of all kinds of leaves because I CANNOT get over how rich and beautiful they are. Our God woos us like nothing else, doesn't He?

Whew! Can you see just how busy we/I've been? Time please slow down until Thanksgiving!

Why I Will Cast My Ballot

2016-11-04T16:31:00.001-04:00

By the end of Tuesday evening when I'm curled up on the couch prepared to dually watch an episode of The Middle and This is Us, our nation's fate and the end of the presidential elections will be at hand. Though this election season has proven to be one of those nightmares where I want to sit in the corner and watch through my fingers, I have decided to cast my ballot on 8 November with the rest of the nation. Well, most of the nation.

It seems a large section of the Christian community has decided to take a stance during this year's election and not vote for either candidate. Here's where I have to disagree. I am a Christian. I am a registered voter. I'm American and I will proudly exercise my right to vote. But yet, many wave the flags that there is not an appropriate candidate to vote for - neither hold up the ideals of the faith. To which I answer two things: When has that every really been the case? AND Pro-life.

In an interview by the ladies of The View in April of this year, Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was questioned regarding her stance on abortion. For the purpose of this post, I have included the majority of that interview below:

_________________________________________________________________________________

PAULA FARIS: And Secretary, I want to ask you about some comments that you made over the weekend on Meet the Press regarding abortion. You said quote, "the unborn person doesn't have constitutional rights." My question is at what point does someone have constitutional rights, and are you saying that a child, on its due date, just hours before the delivery still does not have constitutional rights?

CLINTON: Under the law, that is the case.

She went on to add that she thinks women should have the sole decision-making power over the lives of unborn children without limits.

_________________________________________________________________________________

This woman has continuously agreed with the decision of Roe v. Wade and ending a life even up to its term. We can argue about many issues when it comes to presidential elections - foreign relations, healthcare, taxes, immigration etc. etc - but one will stand above the rest for me as a believer. I believe God has given each person dignity and value. He has bestowed this dignity upon humanity by creating all men and women in his image. These very foundational verses of humanity found in Genesis 1 and my firm belief in the value of life will lead me to my polling place to cast my ballot on Tuesday. I will with gusto cast my ballot for a candidate who values life and is against abortion; I will be voting for Donald Trump.

Christian community - We are not only voting for a person who will or will not value life. But we are also voting for someone who will appoint 4 Supreme Court judges over the course of this next term. There are 9 total who sit on the Supreme Court. Do you see the implications of this decision? That's a near majority of the vote in ANY decision. These judges will not only make impacts for the next 4 years, but they will impact the course of America for many years to come. It is our duty to vote for those who will value the lives of the unborn child. If we are going to stand on this issue and value life, then let's stand by one who will be pro-life and defund Planned Parenthood. Does this mean I completely agree with everything Trump has done or said? It does not mean that at all. But he has asked for forgiveness regarding the comments made about women, and in line with the foundations of the Christian faith I must extend grace to one who has sought forgiveness. Does it mean I will fight to the bitter end about other issues? Probably not.

But to me, this is the one of utmost importance. If we do not have life, we have nothing. As the Christian community and those who proclaim the sanctity of life, let us be the ones who stand up to our nation and be a light at this critical time. Let us be the ones who hold up the banner as our founding fathers did when they wrote the Declaration of Independence that all men are created with certain inalienable rights... the first of which is written as LIFE. When the world stands by the medical definition of life ending when there is not a heart beat, WE MUST BE THE ONES who stand by the definition that life begins when the heart does beat. When that heart beats, we prize it. We secure it. We value it. We uphold the rights of that child when no one else will.

This is why I will cast my ballot.

Waiting Room

2016-10-31T17:10:00.002-04:00

Waiting Room.
Tiled floors. Cold air. Beige chairs in rows for days. Sullen faces. Anticipation. Dread.

Over the past couple of months, I've found myself in more waiting rooms than I'd care to count or advertise. From one health complication to another, none of which have been life=threatening, my time has accrued significantly in waiting to see a doctor and have him hand me a diagnosis. I want answers. I have a million questions. I need good bedside manner. I need to be told everything is going to be okay.

And yet somehow, those aren't the exact words I've heard. In fact, I really haven't heard one way or the other. It seems the ball is in my court. Sure, cysts occur frequently in a woman's body. It's a part of the reproduction process - a part that I never actually learned in high school. Somehow I think that would've thrown everyone for a loop, and so the teacher nicely skipped over it. Sure, it's a natural thing. But where have they come from? It seems the doctors don't have a clue either. Have they deemed it infertility? Absolutely not. Am I being dramatic? Possibly. But I have a heart that desires more answers than one educated man can seem to give. And though my pain be gone, I sit in this waiting room of life so to speak. It's called the "Wait and See" approach, so they say. There is not a bone in my body that likes to wait. For reference, see the many years before meeting Jeremy for evidence in that.

Yet, today as I took a walk around our neighborhood, the Lord is gracious. In fact, His goodness brought me to tears as He brought the verses from Psalm 139 to my mind. He KNEW my body before it was formed in my mother's womb. He knows the bodies of any children He blesses us with in the future. And THAT overwhelms me and floods me with humility while I sit in this waiting room. He knows every part and knows what will happen in the future. Though I desperately want to return to what I deem normal, I do believe the Lord brings us through various times and kinds of waiting rooms only to create new normals for us. You see, we can't go back. We have to always press forward because in the pressing forward we learn to lean on and trust Him more than we ever did in our conception of "normal."

And with that, the waiting room is good. It is for our good. And it is right.

Though this be related to my own personal health concerns at the moment (again I probably I have a bit more concern than I should), I do believe the waiting room can and does apply to many areas of our lives. As we all sit in our various waiting rooms, may we make it a time of increasing our faith and believing in God's power than spans anything we could possibly imagine.

You don't have control

2016-10-18T14:02:00.002-04:00

Dear friends, I am not one who loves an ER nor a hospital nor a doctor's office, dentist office.. any kind of office dealing with my health. However, I have found myself at the ER no less than 3 times over the past couple of months for various reasons. Here's the thing: I don't want to confront the fact that my health may not be above par. I don't want any information to come across my path that would later suggest surgery or something tragically wrong with my body. The fear of illness is real. And yet, in I marched Sunday afternoon.

Early Saturday morning I woke up to some serious pain on my left side. I failed to awake Jeremy because I'm still in the mindset of "handling this on my own." Sunday afternoon the pain had subsided enough for me to go to work, yet right in the middle of a good cadet story I began to experience the pain again. When one prays for wisdom from the Lord about a health situation, all roads lead to the hospital. I truly believe the Lord brings me to my knees in pain in a health situation, so that I can turn no other way. And so, on Sunday afternoon I marched into the ER begging for an ultrasound machine to check the left side of my body. I needed an ultrasound machine because I knew there was possibly a cyst and needed an internal exam to check all of that.

I'm a baby. Drawing blood - I cry. Giving a pelvic exam - I cry. No husband because I asked him to stay home until further notice - I cry. Have no fear, Jeremy made it into the ER at just the right time. But while I'm sitting there with all uncertainties floating through my head - believe me, at that time anything and everything will cross your mind including possibility of surgery, possibility of infertility, the possibility of fainting/awkwardness/continual needles, etc-, I was very much so reminded of my lack of control by the paramedic who was ordered to draw my blood. He literally said, "You don't have control." And with that, I shut my mouth and no further questions were asked about drawing blood.

I'm confident the Lord was teaching me in that moment about control and fear. I am a big worryer. I want control. I would have probably volunteered to perform all blood work and exams myself had they let me. But that wasn't the case. In that moment I had to relinquish control to those who excelled in the medical field far more than I ever will - Let's be honest, I don't know where most organs are in my body. God reminded me that I have to trust Him - Not only in this situation, but in life in general. I don't have to ask a million questions because that's not my role in life. My place is to submit to the One who is in control and let it be. Let His will be done. That evening, my lack of trust and desire for control played itself out in my questioning the nurses every move. That evening, however, I learned more about myself and the need for me to submit to the Lord in all areas of my life. He is the good Shepherd and will take care of me. I have to trust that and hold on to it with everything I have. The One who does have control can see all that is ahead of me. And that's where I need to rest easy.

Now, I did eventually have an ultrasound to find that I did have cyst. This cyst is larger than normal but is not abnormal and should disappear within the next couple of weeks. I learned in Health class yesterday (aka my visit with the doctor) that women develop a cyst in their ovaries once a month. It's just a fact of life they don't teach us in high school health class. Moving forward- everything looks to be healing appropriately.

The humor of the entire visit was when the doctor sent me to use the restroom after one of my exams. Seeing as how I was wearing ballet flats that day and was prepped for all exams, I was no longer wearing those shoes and was barefooted. I looked over my shoulder as I headed out the door and said to Jeremy, "I feel like Britney Spears going into the bathroom without my shoes on." And surely, if Britney can survive 2007, I can survive this pain - Because for me, my God is in control.

Year One of Forever Like That

2016-10-03T11:17:00.001-04:00

I've been married for a year. What the heck? Those were the first words I wrote in my journal this morning. I had an entirely different post prepared for today, but I decided to scratch it and write this.

The night before our wedding I wept/ cried uncontrollably as I flipped through a journal of prayers I'd been writing for at least seven years for my future husband. As I prepared to write a note to Jeremy on the first page, I couldn't believe the specific ways in which the Lord had heard my prayers and granted my requests in Jeremy. More than being thankful for Jeremy, I was in awe of how our God, my God is so in tune to our needs and worthy of my worship at every moment. The next day proved to be a day of the Lord's faithfulness.

David's Bridal has a neat tradition of allowing the bride to ring the magic bell once she has found THE dress. I was told to make a wish during that time for my wedding day and for our marriage. I'm now okay sharing that wish: I wanted Christ to be the center of our wedding day and marriage. With waters rising, roads flooding, electricity absentee, I can truly say the Lord was the center of our day. It didn't matter to me that any of these complications were happening - I can't even begin to describe the peace from the Lord that calmed my heart. It was the peace the surpasses all understanding. I was going to get married, and that was that. The day was beautiful - rain and all - Christ was the center: "Your God is my God."

I commented to Jeremy on Saturday night as we headed to our anniversary dinner just how fearful I was as I traveled through our town by myself during those first few weeks of being in the North. My white knuckles from the intense grip on the steering wheel proved the level of uncertainty. The intense grip somewhat symbolized my entire view of life at that moment. Here I was - new to married life, new to Army life, and new to the North. How was I going to do this? It could have been the perfect storm. I'd never been one to deal well with transition; seventh grade is the testimony to that. Yet, there were only a few minor breakdowns. Through it all the Lord proved to be my strength during this first year. When the enemy whispered I was not a good enough wife, I took up my armor. When the disagreements came, the Holy Spirit reminded me of our union in Christ and the covenant of marriage .When I couldn't stop laughing at Jeremy, the Lord reminded me of the great joy of marriage. Through this past year, the fear dissipated. The knuckles aren't white any more.

In the middle of all of this, the Lord has taught me much about His timing. I remember going to sleep one night and going through the random list of wonderful young men I'd hoped to spark a relationship with. Time and again it didn't work out. Oh believe me, I had the bags of tricks. I knew my way to the gym. And yet, none of those worked out. I'd come to believe I would never get married. I'd come to terms with God's plan and His absolute intervention in my dating life should He see fit for me to marry. I knew I needed to be available to that, but I also knew my life was in the now. And now, I am married to the one the Lord had for me from the beginning. He knew I needed someone who could teach me His Word and challenge me. He knew I needed one who didn't mind my emotional side. He knew I even needed one who wasn't afraid to eat a cheeseburger and greasy fries followed by a slice of cake without any qualms. He knew I needed Jeremy. It has taken so long for me to see the continual hand of the Sovereign God in our relationship, engagement and marriage. But His hand in my life is good. He is good. And that is the promise I am clinging to after this first year: The Lord's timing is perfect! His gifts are good and perfect! James 1:17

Was there some magical formula for my knight to enter the picture? No. I don't believe so. I believe it was a surrender of the will. The will that I'd held on to for so long - the one that demanded a husband and couldn't see it any other way; the will that demanded he look and act a certain way; the will that wanted what I wanted rather than what the Lord wanted. In surrender the Lord brought me Jeremy.

Fast forward to a year later. We've traveled and shared so many adventures- Woodstock, Niagara Falls, Toronto, Disney World, the Jersey Shore, NYC. We've argued. We've laughed. We've made our way through most of One Tree Hill. We disagree. We are snippy with each other every now and then. We finish each other's sentences. We jam out together and have dance parties on the occasion. We love to eat and run and run and eat. We sing. We crack up at inside jokes. We do what married people do. We are each other's best friend. And Christ is at the center of it all. He holds us together. This has been year one of forever like that.

I wanna love you, forever I do.

I wanna spend all of my days with you.

I'll carry your burdens and be the wind at your back.

I wanna spend my forever-forever like that.

To Jeremy, You make me laugh.

You make me smile.

You frustrate me. You are my teacher.

You challenge me.

You get on my nerves every now and again.

You are corny. You are my comforter. You are my protector.

You are the one I get to share the bed with every single night.

If it's the Lord's will, you will one day be my baby daddy.

You are my friend.
You are my husband.

I love you.

Thank you for this year and this glimpse of heaven.

Happy Anniversary!

PS- The part about the cheeseburgers and fries and cakes was written last Wednesday. I just realized when I read this post over again that indeed.. we had burgers, fries and cake yesterday. Not even planned. It's just what we do.

Confessional Friday: It's Baaacccckkk

2016-09-30T10:13:00.001-04:00

Happy Friday! Fall is upon us in every way - that mostly nearly means copious amounts of candy corn and peanut butter M&Ms. There is never a time in my year when I want these more except for when Fall is in full swing. In true Leslie fashion from A Blonde Ambition, I'm continuing the air those confessions in prep for the weekend. Grab a Coke.. Grab the link below, and let's get on with it! It's time to confess, shall we?

1) I confess I began taking a new vitamin a couple of weeks ago - recommended by Amanda. I read the bottle closely to see "dietary supplement" on the side. I proceeded to call Amanda and ask if she skipped meals since this vitamin was a supplement. Ummm... yes. I did. It took me a moment but I figured it all out.

2) I confess I finally sat down on the couch to watch When Harry Met Sally - a good favorite since my trip to Prague. Halfway through the movie I'm thinking --- " I didn't realize her name was Sally?"

3) I confess I am hook, line and sinker on this new NBC show, This is Us.

4) I confess my favorite thing about Fall is the candy corn.. all of it... the pumpkins especially where I begin my adventure by eating the stem first. Every. Single. Time.

5) I confess that I'm not sure where the year went since we've said our I'dos. I'm certain I blinked and it went by and here we are... No longer newlyweds.

6) I confess I've been a mini tornado Erin whipping through the house this morning - cleaning, running, putting things away. It's 10:00, and I'm ready to collapse - yet quite pleased with myself.

Now, I think I can head into the weekend with all of that off my shoulders! Join the party. Grab the logo and link up!

An InLinkz Link-up

Meanwhile back at the Ranch: Harry Show and Blog News

2016-09-28T13:45:00.000-04:00

Meanwhile back at the ranch, I'm just over here twiddling my thumbs as I wait for the plumber to arrive. There are things to clean and clothes to be washed, but when folks are coming in the door to work on the WATER one has to stop. My stopping has landed me here in blog world, where I've failed to keep pace. I don't keep pace in most avenues of life specifically running, but here I am. The blog posts are piling up and I need to do some hacking away at all my ideas. Here we go!

Several weeks ago, I got an email from the fine folks at the Harry Connick Jr Show asking me to sign up for tickets to be a part of the audience. Knowing I love a good show and entertainment, I signed myself and 3 others up to receive tickets. The request was quickly met as Harry has a new show, and people just don't know about it right now. Off we went barreling down the Palisades Parkway with visions of front row seats and pictures with Harry dancing in our heads.

We wanted a nice little spot on TV, so we informed the audience helpers of our Army wife status. This particular day Harry was all about the nurses and educators of the world.

Now as for my honest opinions and observations about the show:

1) This show is struggling and I realize it's a baby. Harry has great personality but it's for concerts not daytime TV.

2) We might possibly be groupies for these shows, and let's be honest we kinda are. We were able to recognize crew that was once used at Meredith's show. Ummm... yeah. We've done this too much.

3) There were some oiled up lifeguards advertising a free trip to Mexico. Harry kept commenting on their looks, and I'm all like - "Did y'all find these guys in the Subway 3 hours ago?"

4) Harry tried to do a Facebook Live chat with his guests and Facebook users. Hello.. the reason no one is commenting is because your show is not live, Harry.

5) I completely forgot Harry was the bad guy on Will & Grace. Once he reminded the audience of that guest role, I was stuck in 2003 and wasn't coming back.

6) I was glad we could take pictures in the studio. The show airs on October 7th. I can't be held responsible for any facial expressions that may reflect my attitude about the lifeguards, some Harry cheesiness, or audience craziness.

Y'all. This is what we call crazy eyes.. Not for Jane but for me.

BLOG NEWS: I was an avid follower of A Blonde Ambition blog that regularly featured Confessional Friday. Leslie S. passed away last year due to a heart condition. I emailed her sister in law to ask if the blog world could keep up the tradition of Confessional Friday going to pay tribute to Leslie and keep the laughs going - Friday is in sight! She gladly approved the continuation of the Confessions and I'll start the link up THIS Friday. Look, I get it.. there may not be anyone to link up. But I loved this link up and will continue on! In the words of Leslie, "Be Blessed Lovelies!"