Yardy Yardy Yardy

Palmie...or Manawatu City?

2013-05-20T06:00:00.000+12:00

Jim Quixote

Palmerston North deputy mayor Jim Jefferies is publically jousting with his own personal windmill again.
In 1998, Jefferies - not even a councillor then - suggested the city should change its name to better reflect its identity. He proposed Manawatu City, and has restarted the debate as deputy mayor this year.Jefferies says that, as Lord Palmerston never even made it to NZ, the city shouldn't feel any loyalty to him: "I've lived here since 1982, but the name of this city has never endeared itself to me."

Manawatu City. Yea, right.

His sentiments are shared by Monty Python comic John Cleese, who described his time there as "thoroughly bloody miserable." Conversely, motoring man Jeremy Clarkson said if God had got it right, then "Jesus would have been from Palmerston North."
This ain't the first time a local political minnow has opened his/her gob and fallen in. How can we forget Otaki Community Board member Jackie Elliott, who revealed a penis fixation over the new Kapiti District logo?
Jim, if it ain't broken, why fix it? Palmerstonians have been happy with the name for over 140 years, even if you're not! The large clearing where it was established was Te Papaioea – far too monolithic a mouthful for daily use. Meanwhile Manawatu (the district) got its name from maori explorer Hau. While chasing his wife and her lover, he came across a wide river. Fearing he may not be able to cross, he cried: "Ka tu taku manawa." ("My heart stands still.").
So, if Jimbo Jefferies has his way, the city will either be named after the utterings of a cuckolded hubby...or perhaps be known as 'the home of the heart attack' ("My heart stands still")!
I can't see either suggestion pleasing John Cleese!

Iceland Hunts Fin Again

2013-05-19T06:00:00.000+12:00

Some Hvalur lads preparing lunch

It WAS too good to be true.
In May 2012, I blogged that Iceland had stopped killing endangered fin whales. Well, it's now resuming that disputed commercial hunt next month.
That's the word from the horse's mouth - or rather the horse's arsehole - Kristjan Loftsson. He's CEO of Hvalur, the only Icelandic company that catches whales: "The quota is 154, plus some 20% from last season possibly."
Loftsson's company caught 148 fin whales in 2010, but none in 2011 and 2012, due to the collapse of its only market in earthquake- and tsunami-hit Japan.

Loftsson: "They're just fish."

The Icelandic appetite for whalemeat is minimal (International Fund For Animal Welfare says only 5% of Icelanders regularly eat it), so most of this year's catch will be exported to Japan, where Loftsson claims the whalemeat market is improving. This is despite International Whaling Commission resolutions requiring member states to use the meat domestically.
In 2011, US threatened Iceland with economic sanctions over its commercial whaling, accusing it of undermining international efforts to preserve the ocean giants...but later suffered erectile dysfunction, not having the balls to carry through with the political pressure...

Hong Kong's Lame Duck

2013-05-18T06:00:00.000+12:00

Duck Fever gripped Hong Kong this month, with the arrival of a 16.5m.tall artwork, conceived by Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman.
Tens of thousands of visitors flocked to see a giant bright yellow inflatable rubber duck, bobbing on Victoria Harbour. But those who came for a view last Wednesday only saw something resembling a floating fried egg!
Organisers say the duck was deflated on Tuesday evening as part of scheduled maintenance work but struck a few problems - they don't know when the duck will be re-inflated.
Hong Kong has taken the bright yellow inflatable bird to its heart since it was towed into the harbour on 2nd May to cheering crowds. Stalls and shops throughout the city are selling replicas and restaurants have created special duck dishes. But this week, visitors resorted to having their pictures taken with smaller rubber ducks on show nearby.
Since 2007, the duck has travelled to 13 different cities in nine countries ranging from Brazil to Australia in a global journey. The artist hopes the duck, which is due to leave Hong Kong on 9th June, will act as a catalyst for connecting people to public art.
But...is a giant floating duck really ART, or merely the artist reliving his childhood bath-time experiences on a gigantic scale?

Love: The Final Frontier

2013-05-17T06:00:00.000+12:00

A love of all things Star Trek might not make you the captain of Starship OKCupid, but who cares what those lesser lifeforms think... now that StarTrekDating.com is here?
Yeup, that's right, and just in time for the next movie too!
Someone or some THING out there in the universe SOMEwhere is waiting to love you. The webpage headlines:
'Set Phasers to stunning... and if that doesnt work, set them to stun! Our matching system for online daters helps improve your chances of finding a relationship. If youre a Sci-fi fan and want to meet your Borg Queen or Captain Kirk, try it now!'

Intergalactic hottie?

"Star Trek fans are nerds," says Oliver Gough, owner of StarTrekDating.com. "They know what they're looking for." He reckons sites like Match.com are too broad for the kinds of hyperenthusiastic people who use his service. After all, these are people who "nine times out of 10 post pictures of themselves photoshopped on the Starship Enterprise!" And there's nothing wrong with that! I myself have a pic of me in Starship costume on the Enterprise bridge - but that was the REAL thing (well, a real replica), NO Photoshop. Truely! It WAS!
So beam aboard Trekkies, and Klingon for the ride of your lovelife - the next gen Love Boat is about to depart! You have the con, Mr Sulu!

Stand Aside, Sting!

2013-05-16T06:00:00.000+12:00

A message in a bottle has turned up in Christchurch - not floating in on the tide, but beneath a house in Fendalton.
A former Christchurch woman Sarah Turbott hid the message in an empty Gilbey's Gin bottle in 1958,
when she was 12yrs.old. Her little time capsule has been discovered during earthquake repairs to her family home.
The note instructed the finder to "give this to a museum and tell them to look for me if under one hundred years has passed since 1958".
The bottle was discovered by a labourer when the house was being repaired. Sarah was tracked down, now living in Auckland. She said she often thought of the secret message and said the discovery gave her a great buzz: "I'm so thrilled. I vividly remember putting it there with my brother. I've been back to look at the house a couple of times in the last few years, and every time I've been there I've thought of the bottle and wondered if anyone would find it."
The letter also states: "This is the year the Americans launched their first successful sputnik (satellite)".
Cuurent house owner Jeremy Richardson says it's touching to find a piece of his home's past: "It is a wonderful piece of history. We have always loved older houses and we've been restoring this house to its former glory, so it was rather touching to find this message in a bottle from a little girl."
Turbott lived in the home from when she was 3 until she married at 21. She'd like her children to see the time capsule.

Aaron Gilmore Is Gone. Aaron WHO?

2013-05-15T06:00:00.000+12:00

Andy Warhol alloted everyone 15 minutes of fame.
Well, disgraced National MP for Christchurch East Aaron Gilmore used up all of his...and a bit more. By tomorrow most will be saying: "Aaron


Gormless Gilmore: don't we care who you were?

WHO?"
Gilmore first came under fire earlier this month for verbally abusing a waiter who refused to serve his boozed-up dining party more wine. He pathetically big-noted "Don't you know who I am?" (well, until this incident, virtually NO-ONE did!) and also name-dropped Prime Minister John Key.
Gilmore ducked and dived, spun a few yarns, then later publically admitted he was a bully and "a dickhead" - but too late: his 15 minutes had run out. He had to sharpen his sword and fall heavily on it. However, true to his past form (that the media has since dug up), he first fired off some spiteful little childish texts threatening revenge on those who took him down. Oooooo, Aaron, we're quaking in our liddle iddle boots!
Furthermore, in his final speech, this big-talking tough guy even had the audacity to blub his eyes out in Parliament! What sort of a man is/was he? A prize dickhead, for sure! Gilmore seemed the type to want to blame others for his misfortune when he should really have been looking in the mirror. And as for turning on the waterworks, jeez!
Be a real man, Gilmore. Take the hit firmly on the chin. Walk away. Learn your lesson. Do not darken our doorstep again. And please... grow up.

Lady In Red

2013-05-14T06:00:00.000+12:00

Regret that bet?

He may be one of the most powerful men in the world, but Sir Richard Branson can still have a good laugh!
Last weekend, the 62yr.old billionaire entrepreneur donned a skirt and a full face of make-up on a public flight to Malaysia.
Branson had lost a bet with fellow airline owner, AirAsia CEO Tony Fernandez, two years ago. He'd put off fulfilling the bet until now, due to his heavy work schedule but, true to his word, he donned a hostie uniform and wig and carried out the responsibilities of a flight attendant.
The funds from the flight went to the Starlight Foundation for ill children, but as to how far Sir Richard would go for charity...? He said he'd keep his famous beard. However, he did shave his legs for the flight, served drinks and pledged to clean the toilets onboard, all while sporting the red AirAsia uniform.
Pulling his blonde locks back into clips, Branson completed his fresh new look with a sweep of red lipstick and a fetching set of false eyelashes: "Have you not seen a stewardess with a beard before?" Branson laughed: "I've done some outrageous things in my time but this will be up there with the best of 'em! I had to practice walking in high heels first!"

May The Force Be With UK

2013-05-13T06:00:00.000+12:00

Great news for the British film-making industry...
Filming of the new Star Wars movie will take place in England. This might not be the most surprising news of the day but, after the three prequels were largely shot in Australia, it's good to see the franchise returning to its original roots. The six previous Star Wars films were all partly filmed in the UK at famed studios including Pinewood, Elstree and Shepperton.
In Oct.2012, Disney announced three new Star Wars films, when it purchased George Lucas' Lucasfilm company for US$4.05 billion.
Star Wars: Episode VII (due out in 2015) will be made by director JJ Abrams, and will further boost the British film industry that has been regenerated by the likes of the James Bond and Harry Potter film franchises. It'll continue the story where Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983) left off. The Star Wars franchise has grossed more than US$4.4 billion worldwide since we first met Yoda in 1977.
+ All signs point to Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher reprising their roles of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia. In March, George Lucas said they "had already signed Mark and Carrie and Harrison - or were pretty much in the final stages of negotiation," though he refused to confirm that the negotiations had been successful. Then in April, Harrison Ford said he was "excited about possibly returning." Later that month, Carrie Fisher said she was happy too "because they're sending a trainer to my house so I can get in really good shape." So everyone's...er...happy! We can safely assume that all three actors will happily appear. But will Leia's ghastly 'croissant-head' hairstyle be back? Will Skywalker still whine like a spoilt brat? Will Solo need a zimmer frame?
+ And the iconic Star Wars music has been voted the third best orchestral piece ever! The John Williams theme bagged an Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe, as well as three Grammy Awards. Now BBC Radio 2 listeners voted it ahead of works by Grieg and Tchaikovsky!! Riiiiiigghhtt!!

Benetton’s Bangladesh Bungle

2013-05-11T06:00:00.000+12:00

Global clothing giant Benetton admits it's linked to a Bangladesh garment factory that collapsed last month, killing almost 900 people.
However, rather than being shamed into finding more ethical clothing suppliers, Benetton still plans to stay in Bangladesh (thus supporting sweatshops)!
The death toll from the factory collapse reached 892 – it's not known how many more remain buried under the rubble. More than 2,500 were dug out alive in the days following the disaster. CEO Biagio Chiarolanza said one of their Indian suppliers had subcontracted two orders of about 200,000 shirts to the death-factory. But he says the solution to the safety issues is not to abandon Bangladesh: "I really believe international brands can help these countries improve their condition. But we need a safe and happy working environment and better conditions."
Benetton was heavily criticised after the collapse and accused of paying sub-poverty level wages. It says it'll now add more checks when assessing factories. The owner of the building only had permission for a 5-storey structure and there's speculation that his exceeding that by three stories was the cause of the collapse. Bangladesh has closed 18 clothes factories in recent days for failing to meet work and safety standards.
This is not the first time global garment giants have been embroiled in third-world debacles (see Dec.2010: Dieing To Work For GAP)…and they seem all too willing to remain there – NOT to improve standards, but to milk the dirt-cheap labour costs for all they're worth!
The 'safe and happy working environment' wanted by CEO Chiarolanza cannot be bought by the blood of impoverished sweat-shop workers.
Surely only a withdrawal by these big companies will force the bar to be raised, and make the Bangladesh govt enforce higher standards on its clothing industry, if it wants global investment to return.
As we know, money always talks loudest...

Diamond In The Rough

2013-05-09T06:00:00.000+12:00

Indiana woman Christi Hansen is one lucky lady.
Nearly five years ago, she lost a half-carat marquis diamond from her beloved engagement ring, while she was at work.

"Oh lordy!"

She searched frantically for the jewel (which had been sitting on top of the ring with channel-set baguettes on all four sides), and her colleagues joined in the hunt as well - but to no avail.
Christi: "We basically tore my whole desk apart, on our hands and knees going over the floor. I even went through all the bathrooms."
She went so far as to load her car up with full rubbish bags from the office, took them home, laid a tarpaulin out in her garage and literally with rubber gloves went through every piece of trash, hoping to find it in there!
When it was clear the diamond was nowhere to be found, Hansen's hubby bought her a replacement engagement ring.

Man of the hour

But four and a half years after the diamond disappeared, Wayne Sutton, an office printer technician, found it! He was servicing the printer at Hansen's workplace, thought a lodged object was a piece of paper that wouldn't move...et voila!
Christi Hansen couldn't believe her eyes. She plans to keep wearing the replacement ring, make the recovered diamond into a necklace...and go on a diet to return to her engagement days weight.
But as legendary Mae West once said: "I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond."

007: M's Real Name

2013-05-07T06:00:00.000+12:00

She was the fierce MI6 boss known only by the codename M.
But now the true identity of James Bond's mentor has finally been revealed - after a bit of sleuthing that even 007 himself would have been proud of!
An eagle-eyed fan watching the latest Bond movie Skyfall managed to freeze-frame a single camera shot lasting just a split-second...and discovered that M's real name was Olivia Mansfield.

I say "was" (past tense) because as you'll know, if you're a diehard 007 fan, M - played by Dame Judi Dench - meets her demise in Skyfall.
Post-funeral, James Bond is handed a box containing a Royal Doulton bulldog draped in a British flag, which is usually kept on M's desk. If you look really REALLY carefully and quickly, zooming in on the box's inscription, you'll see the words 'From the Estate of Olivia Mansfield Bequeathed to James Bond'.
Since the revelation, internet forums have been filled with speculation about the significance of the name. One theory is that it's a tribute to Mansfield Smith-Cumming, first head of MI6 who started the tradition of the organisation's director signing letters with a single letter – in his case C. Others have speculated it is a portmanteau of 'man's field', alluding to the fact that M worked in a male-dominated industry.
Since Dame Judi Dench became Bond's first female spymaster in 1995, producers have dropped a series of hints about her character's name. You'll recall in Casino Royale (2006), 007 tells his boss: "I thought M was a randomly assigned letter. I had no idea it stood for *****." To which she interjects: "Utter one more syllable and I'll have you killed."
So now you know what your favourite secret agent has kept secret for the last seven years!

Which Hairstyle Shall I Eat Today?

2013-05-04T06:00:00.000+12:00

Japanese teenagers seem unafraid of pushing fashion boundaries outside the norm. Either that, or they have no fashion sense at all!
Could this be Japan's most ridiculous craze yet?
A Japanese hair salon is rewriting the meaning of 'cutting edge' after being inspired...by the humble tomato.
This innovative design is already spreading across the internet.
Stylist Hiro says the hairdo, called 'Ripe Tomatoes' or kanjuku tomato in Japanese, is his masterpiece.
Sections of hair have been dyed green to look like the stalk, while the rest is bright tomato red. The look involves cutting the hair into a rounded crop before dying it bright red. Sections from the crown are then shaped and coloured green to resemble a tomato's stalk.
However, just like the fruit, the style has a shelf life. The colours fade quickly and the 'leaves' are difficult to reshape after being washed.
'Ripe Tomatoes' is one of a raft of bold designs to emerge from the Osaka salon Trick Store, which also came up with these creations including a half-ladybird style, animal print, and dyed pink numbers shaved into the back of the head. Ooooo, that's so ME!! Riiiiigghhtt...

Wanganui Mayor Shot Dead By Police

2013-05-03T06:00:00.000+12:00


Mayor Mackay

Over the years, the town of Wanganui has seen more than its fair share of controversial figures. And back in the 1920s, not many tears were shed when one of its more colourful characters met his demise.
Charles Ewing Mackay, disgraced former mayor of Wanganui, was shot dead by Berlin police today in history, 3rd May 1929. But what of his history back in New Zealand? And what of this 'disgrace'?
Mackay was born in Nelson in 1875, son of the headmaster of Wellington College. A brilliant student, he graduated BA in 1895 and LLB in 1900. He was called to the Bar in New Plymouth in 1901, and the following year established his own law firm in Wanganui. There in 1904 he married Isobel Mary Agnes Duncan, from a prominent Wanganui family.
That same year, he entered local politics: he was mayor 1906-1913, again in 1915-1920, and stood twice for Parliament, unsuccessfully.
Mackay was a controversial and energetic mayor, responsible for much of the growth and development of Wanganui between 1906-1920. His projects, often expensive, were always farsighted - he advocated an electric tramway system; improved the town's roading, water supply and fire services; was instrumental in having the Dublin Street Bridge built; worked hard to encourage the development of the port and local industry.

Wanganui's Sarjeant Gallery

His principal project from 1915 was the construction of an art gallery for Wanganui, using the bequest of benefactor Henry Sarjeant. He tirelessly solicited artworks and reproductions from overseas, and even persuaded the army to delay the overseas posting of one of the architects, until the gallery's working drawings had been completed. During WWI he promoted the construction of a library and museum to complement the gallery, and also begun investigating the possibility of a power station for the borough.
But 10 May 1920 was to change his life dramatically...

Equality Or Favouritism?

2013-05-02T06:00:00.000+12:00

You can't please all the people all the time, daaaaaaarling.
A Tui Beer billboard in Wellington taking the piss out of same-sex marriage has been labelled "offensive".
The billboard reads "Dad's new husband seems nice", followed by Tui's famous tagline "yeah right". (The Marriage Equality Act comes into force on 19 August, allowing same-sex couples to marry.) TVOne reports mixed reaction online - some call it 'narrow-minded' and 'shameful', while others say people need to 'chill a bit'.
Surprise-surprise: a Facebook group's been formed, calling for the sign to be removed. Chanel Roulton, creator of Take Down the Tui Ad on the Hutt Motorway, says - using a tired and overused line - the ad is "so wrong in so many ways": "I will no longer be drinking Tuis because of this! Time to take a stand and take this crap off!"
DC Sheehan posted there: "There will be lots who say 'get a sense of humour'. I think Tui needs a lesson in what constitutes 'funny'."
And a mixed reaction on the Gay Red Shirt Day Facebook page...
Kerry Harpur: "A bit like their beer, lacking a certain taste."
Carlos Cordero: "...offensive".
Conversely, Laura Richardson: "Hell, I'm queer and thought it was good. They make fun of everyone. If we can't laugh at ourselves what can we do? Lighten up. It is just a billboard..."
Donna Riddell: "I think it's the best equality we could all ask for. Tui take the piss out of everyone. Why shouldn't the gay community be any different. Surely that's what the fight is for...equality in everything."
Campbell Orr: "We wanted equality and we got it! Including Tui jokes!"
Nice to see some people have their priorities in order. Now, if only we can take the piss out of maori, without a precious complaint being lodged with the Human Rights Commission...

Harping On About Rena

2013-05-01T06:00:00.000+12:00

When will the impact from the Rena stranding subside?
We hear little in national news any more but, for Bay Of Plenty locals, Rena's presence is still evident...in the form of tiny 2.5mm plastic beads.
These beads still wash ashore from the Rena container shipwreck, a year and a half after the stranding on Astrolabe Reef, 12nm off the Tauranga coast. Changing currents and wind conditions have been spreading them along the coastline over the last fortnight.
The hunt for these annoying and non-biodegradable plastic pests will be intensified this week with the addition of a 'beach harp'. This giant sieve enables beads to be separated from large amounts of sand. Modifications will also be made to allow it to work effectively in both wet and dry conditions.
Rena project spokesman Hugo Shanahan reports the 24hr operation continues to make an impact, helping clear much of the seaweed deposits mixed with plastic beads between Mount Maunganui and the Kaituna Cut.
On the weekend, a 50-strong team focused on the ongoing clean-up along Papamoa Beach, while specialist teams worked on Motiti Island recovering light to heavy concentrations of beads. Specialist vacuum cleaners capable of working in sandy environments are also being used in areas where there're concentrations of bead deposits.
Last Sunday, divers from the US salvage company Resolve were able to re-enter Rena's No.4 cargo hold in the sunken rear section of the ship, and start removing debris from the partially-intact bead container, located before severe weather hit. Very brave!

Dickhead DJ To Appear At Inquest

2013-04-30T06:00:00.000+12:00

Mel Greig, one of the pillick Aussie DJs behind a prank call to a hospital treating the Duchess of Cambridge, is to appear at the upcoming inquest into the death of UK nurse Jacintha Saldanha, who took her life after the call went to air.

...and YES, she IS blonde!

Grieg was working for 2Day FM Sydney at the time. Her lawyers say: "Ms Saldanha's suicide was a devastating tragedy and Ms Greig's thoughts have been with the family ever since." Hmmm...sure.
Greig decided to appear at the inquest after it came to light that in one of three (!!!) suicide notes, Saldanha directly blamed Greig and her colleague Michael Christian for her death - and asked her bosses to make them pay her mortgage! In the note, she clears the hospital of any blame: "Please accept my apologies. I am truly sorry. Thank you for all your support. I hold the Radio Australians Mel Greig and Michael Christian responsible for this act. Please make them pay my mortgage. I am sorry. Jacintha."
Dec.2012: Saldanha was on the hospital switchboard when the DJs, impersonating the Queen and Prince Charles, were transferred by her to the Duchess of Cambridge's ward. A second nurse then told the DJs that the duchess, in the early stages of pregnancy, was suffering from acute morning sickness. The call was recorded and broadcast by the station later, received global media attention, and days later Jacintha's body was discovered.
As I wrote at the time, it was a pathetic attempt at humour which backfired terribly, BUT...even though these embarrassing excuses for broadcasters were responsible for the call, they were not responsible for the end result. No-one in their right mind kills themselves over a radio prank. And that's the crux of it all: was Jacintha Saldanha "in her right mind" at the time?
Oh, and BTW, has anyone checked the handwriting on that note (coz it sounds like a very neatly tied-off loose end to me...).

Faroese Ferry Food Fraudulent

2013-04-29T06:00:00.000+12:00

Recently, tales of woe from the UK about horsemeat found in products labelled 'beef'... now THIS!
Over the past few weeks, Faroe Islands pilot whale blubber has been served on the ferry Norrona, on the crossing between Denmark and Iceland. And travellers were not told what they were eating!

Lunch, anyone?

Andreas Morlok, CEO of the European dolphin and whale protection organisation ProWal is disgusted: "The pilot whale blubber is not labelled, guests have no idea what's being offered. The chef only gives information verbally when asked, that the dish is actually pilot whale blubber. This was confirmed by a scientist from the Faroe Islands. Furthermore, there's no warning sign that pilot whale blubber is highly contaminated with environmental poisons as PCBs and methyl-mercury, which can be very dangerous to human health."
Scientists have proved that Faroese children have high levels of learning deficiencies, as well as disorders in the development of motor skills and the central nervous system, because of their consumption of pilot whale meat. As infants, they already absorb PCB poisons through their mothers' milk, which is showing the highest toxic saturation worldwide. The percentage of Faroese afflicted with the nervous disorder Parkinsons Disease is double that on the Danish mainland, and the quality of male semen is also heavily affected by these toxins. It is not surprising that the World Health Organization (WHO) is urgently trying to dissuade people from consuming whale products. In the EU, these products are regarded as 'hazardous material'.
The Faroese shipping company Smyril-Line's ferry Norrona sails regularly between the Danish harbour town Hirtshals and Thorshaven, capital of the Faroe Islands. Hirtshals and its surrounding waters fall under the jurisdiction of Denmark, an EU member. The importation and commercial marketing of dolphin and whale products is strictly forbidden in the EU.
ProWal has denounced Smyril-Line to the Danish authorities, who were urged to confiscate any remaining pilot whale product at the ferry's next arrival, to denounce Smyril-Line for violations against European laws and to start legal action. Danish animal rights organisations have informed the Danish FDA and the EU Commission, and urged them to hold Smyril-Line accountable.
The Faroes pilot whale hunt not only supplies the islanders but has an obvious commercial aspect, a fact denied by the Faroe Islands and Denmark: "Oh, it's just traditional hunting..." and "We only take enough to sustain our families..." Really??!!
One wonders where else that blubber is being sent. What's to stop this toxic crap being added to beef products too?

Pet Or Pest?

2013-04-28T06:00:00.000+12:00

In absurd animal news, a retired man in Argentina has discovered that his toy poodle pets...are actually two large ferrets pumped with steroids.
The man paid just NZ$90 for the two ferrets at La Salada, Argentina's largest bazaar, in Buenos Aires. The going rate for two toy poodle pups in Argentina would have been closer to NZ$1,200. Hmmm, ya know what they say: if the deal seems too good to be true, then it probably IS!

Which one's which...?

Well, this chump only found out that the beady-eyed 'puppies' were in fact large ferrets stuffed with steroids when he took them to his local vet. The veterinarian told him the ferrets had been given steroids at birth to increase their size, and then had some extra grooming to make their coats resemble a fluffy toy poodle!
And this isn't the only time someone's been suckered by drugged-up ferrets in Argentina either. A woman says she suffered from the same scam when buying a Chihuahua at the very same market.
It's unknown what these duped pet owners did with their freaked-up ferrets...

She May Be Ugly, But She's Still A Loving Mum

2013-04-27T06:00:00.000+12:00

Sadness last week at Hamilton Zoo, when its southern white rhino, Kito, gave birth to a dead calf.
A post-mortem examination found the little female rhino had bled

Mum Kito with baby Ubuntu

internally as a result of a ruptured liver.
The birth was Kito's second: the first was a male, Ubuntu, in March 2010. He had complications as well, initially born blind due to bleeding into the eyes. But after initial careful hand-raising he recovered and went on to become a normal healthy calf.
Hamilton Zoo Curator Samantha Kudeweh, also coordinator for the Australasian region's white rhino breeding programme, says the loss of the female calf is upsetting for both staff and Kito: ''We found it probably within 20 minutes of the birth, but she was trying to rouse it and get it to stand up. Rhinos have an emotional response to their babies. If a calf is out of their sight, they'll call them and want to know where they are and they'll get anxious if separated.''
Kito remained anxious for the day after being separated from her still-born baby, but has now returned to normal.
Almost extinct 100 years ago, the southern white rhino is now relatively secure thanks to successful conservation efforts. After more than a century of protection, southern white rhinos now number about 20,000. Classified as 'Near Threatened', they're now the only non-endangered rhinos.
Hamilton Zoo is one of the most successful breeding institutions in the Australasian region. Kito will remain part of the breeding herd and should successfully breed again.

19: Remember When...

2013-04-26T06:00:00.000+12:00

While veterans remember ALL the warriors from ALL wars, I get the impression at Anzac Day Dawn Parades that many youthful speakers from local schools think Anzac Day is ONLY about Gallipoli.
True, Winston Churchill's Turkish debacle did serve as the starting point for the ANZAC spirit, but it is by far not the sole focus of remembrance on Anzac Day...
One war that's almost bypassed at many a service is Vietnam. Thinking about that campaign - in which we were unnecessarily embroiled through a nebulous tie to our Yank 'friends' - I sought out that classic Aussie song Only Nineteen (A Walk in the Light Green) by Redgum...
This 1983 song is a first-person account of a typical Aussie grunt's (infantryman's) experience in Vietnam, from his training to first-hand combat, and ultimately his return home disillusioned, psychologically scarred and suffering after-effects of the chemical defoliant Agent Orange. It calls a spade a spade, and the lyrics are pretty powerful: no 'Glorious Dead' here, this is "...mud and blood and tears..."
Royalties for the song go to the Vietnam Veterans Assn of Australia, and it's in the Australasian Performing Right Association's Top 30 Australian Songs of all time.

Anzac Day 2013

2013-04-25T01:00:00.000+12:00

"Those heroes that shed their blood
And lost their lives.
You are now lying in the soil of a friendly country.
Therefore rest in peace.
There is no difference between the Johnnies
And the Mehmets to us where they lie side by side
Here in this country of ours.
You, the mothers,
Who sent their sons from far away countries
Wipe away your tears,
Your sons are now lying in our bosom
And are in peace
After having lost their lives on this land they have
Become our sons as well."

- Kemal Atatürk, 1934

Anorexia Fashionista

2013-04-24T06:00:00.000+12:00

How ironic! Only last weekend, I was thinking there seemed to be more healthy 'normal'-sized women in magazines these days...and then this story surfaces.
Modeling scouts have been prowling outside Sweden's largest eating disorder clinic, trying to lure critically thin patients into the fashion world!
Naturally! Where else would you find such a pool of perilously skinny young women who're unlikely to put on weight? Anna-Maria af Sandeberg, chief doctor at the 1,700-bed Stockholm Centre for Eating Disorders: "People have stood outside our clinic trying to pick up our girls because they know they are very thin. It sends the wrong signals."
The clinic's had to change its patients' routines, because girls kept getting approached. One 14yr.old was handed a business card, and an agent interviewed another girl who was so emaciated she was in a wheelchair. When a caregiver tried to explain that her charges suffered from a serious illness, the scouts claimed they only approach healthy, normally slim young people and that they never urge anyone to lose weight...riiiiigghhtt!
If you're looking for "healthy, normally slim young people", you would NOT start at a medical centre treating women whose low weights have resulted in hospitalisation. However, if you're committed to "never urging anyone to lose weight", then gathering a stable of anorexic models is probably a good move - after all, their eating disorder will do all the urging instead!
Of course, scouts know all this, because up to 40% of models suffer from some kind of eating disorder. What's shocking is not so much what it reveals about the fashion industry's definitions of beauty - although the notion that agents are raiding hospitals for 'stick insects' is very disturbing - but how little people in the fashion business seem to respect the health of the women who're making them rich. Or of women in general. A fifth of girls and women diagnosed with anorexia die a premature death. 60-70% never fully recover.
How confusing and harmful it must be for an eating-disordered teenager, trying to recover, to hear praise for her rail-thin frame, to hear that it might start a glamorous career.
Heartless, perverse, exploitative crap like this makes the world a more toxic place...

[...with thanx to Katy Waldman in Slate]

Norway Says FU To The World!

2013-04-23T06:00:00.000+12:00

There're calls for the US to blast Norway big time, after an export of whale meat to Japan.
A surprise shipment of 4,250 kg of frozen whale products from Norwegian company Myklebust Trading arrived in Tokyo a week ago. International commercial trade in whale products is banned by the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species (CITES).
Norway - unlike Iceland - has not successfully exported whale meat commercially to Asia since the 1980s, although attempts have been made. In 2008, a five metric ton shipment of minke whale meat from Myklebust Trading was rejected by the Japanese govt due to "contamination concerns".
When Norway resumed commercial whaling in 1993 in defiance of the International Whaling Commission (IWC)'s ban, the US certified Norway under legislation called the Pelly Amendment. Then-President Clinton refrained from imposing trade sanctions, in part because Norway wasn't exporting whale products at that time.
This export of Norwegian whale meat to Japan was confirmed by Statistics Norway, which also said Norway received 14 metric tons of whale products from Iceland that same month. It's known that Myklebust Trading recently sought guidance from the Norwegian government on imports of whale meat from Iceland.

Tourism Icon For Sale Again

2013-04-22T06:00:00.000+12:00

Vintage steam train the Kingston Flyer is on the market...
The iconic train, which runs between Kingston and Fairlight, has been put up for sale by owner David Bryce for $2.5m. For that, you'll get the two locomotives and carriages, the café and bar businesses, 10 land titles, plant and machinery, and the rail licence. Sounds likes a good deal, given how much Bryce has spent on restoration (and at that price, you've gotta wonder why the NZ govt doesn't snaffle it up!!!).
Bryce saved the Flyer in 2011, buying the mothballed 130yr.old train on Trade Me while recovering from a stroke: "I've completed all the major locomotive repairs, investing heavily in restoration of the main locomotive AB795's boiler, required to maintain its twice-daily excursions for the next decade or two. The train's in good nick, more efficient than it's ever been, and it remains a living icon of the region and of New Zealand's rail history."
The Kingston Flyer operates at the southern end of Lake Wakatipu, on 14km of preserved track that once formed a part of the Kingston Branch. The history of the service dates back to the 1870s.
The Flyer makes its last run of the summer season tomorrow, before winter maintenance work.
Let's hope it's not the Flyer's final stop...

What Would Kermit Think?

2013-04-21T06:00:00.000+12:00

Thousands of gay Australians are expected to frolick to New Zealand for their very own Rainbow Connection, now we've passed laws approving same-sex marriage.
NZ this week became the 13th country to approve same-sex marriage, and the first in the Asia-Pacific region.
Rainbow Connections ain't a happening thang over in Oz – and it's estimated the country could miss out on a A$700 million boost to its economy, with much of that money instead skipping joyfully across to Godzone. When same-sex marriage was recognised in the US state of New York in 2011, it brought US$259m of economic benefits in the first year, through travel, hotel and reception arrangements, catering, sightseeing etc.
Our legislation comes into effect in August but Australian law doesn't recognise same-sex marriages entered into overseas. Tourism NZ's GM for Australia, Tim Burgess, thinks however that ''…it'll bring a positive impact in visitor numbers from Australia. NZ is already the No.1 holiday choice for Australians going overseas [1.15 million visited last year], so why not the No.1 same-sex marriage destination?''
What I want to know is: would Kermit approve???