My Heart's Desire

Will you follow Him?

2013-03-31T11:30:00.000-05:00

“Remember the words I spoke to you. I said, ‘A servant is not more important than his master.’ If people hated me and tried to hurt me, they will do the same to you." John 15:20

Will you FOLLOW Him?

It is not the day when the wolf will live with the lamb, yet

2013-03-07T03:59:00.000-06:00

*Photo Credit

I was over at Simple Homeschool reading a post by Sarah about homeschool critics and our responses. It was quite interesting, and I don't necessarily disagree with most of what she wrote. I shared a comment about my struggle with this issue as a single parent and a link to my declaration of why I have chosen to homeschool.

When you make a declaration this clear and concise you should expect a comment like this:

"I understand your choice works for *YOU and YOURS*. By what you type, it seems as if you are saying that no Bible-believing Christian should send their child to public school. While our children may face temptation there, don't you also think they can be a light to others? I think Christian children in our public school system can be a powerful witness. My own husband brought others to Christ with his public high school interactions with others. I'm just asking, don't be so quick to dismiss other educational choices for Christians." Mara

I'm overjoyed to share my reply in a thoughtful, gracious manner, and with the right seasoning.

I clearly state in my declaration ~ "In public schools my son is compelled to interact with "strange children" who do not have the same biblical priorities that he does. Without meaning to do so, these other children expose him to wickedness that he is not equipped to handle."

My son is still in elementary school grade and completely unable to handle situations where he would need to defend his spiritual beliefs with other students, or teachers who would have authority over him. There may come a time (in high school) where this won't be an issue, but for now I take comfort that my little lamb is protected from the wolves.

*Photo credit

I do believe that "Bible-believing Christians" do their children a disfavor by sending them off to play and learn with the carnivorous wolves who are being taught by parents and society to devour their very kind. Sure a wolf pup is just as cute as a lamb, but that doesn't mean I want them getting too comfortable with each others company. In this world one is a predator and the other prey. The reality is we don't live in the Garden of Eden.

Evil is prevalent, and we have no business asking our children go to battle at such a young age. Compromises are being made in textbooks, in the descriptions of a God-intended family unit, and what some would call necessary tolerance. There may be many "Bible-believing Christians" with children in public school, but Bible-living Christians are becoming the minority.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

1 John 2:16-17 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever.

I have no tolerance for public school textbooks slanted towards evolution and natural selection as truth and not theory. I have no tolerance for a system that believes the Ten Commandments does not apply in today's "politically correct" society. I will not support an entity that tries to undermine parental rights in any way.

There are those rare and unique children whose lights are beacons. My son's light, and maybe your child's, might not be strong enough to overcome what the world would throw at them. Do you really want their light snuffed out because you were hoping they could be a witness to the world? Sorry, but I'm just not willing to take that chance.

Psalms 34:11 Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

I've been given an awesome responsibility raising my son. I will teach him to fear the Lord by example. I will trust in God to guide me. For we all stand alone on the day of judgement.

Ohio Supreme Court Hears Case of Science Teacher Fired for Questioning Evolution

# 17 ~ Sometimes, you just have to say NO!

2013-03-04T04:54:00.000-06:00

It's not easy. You've probably spent your entire life giving of yourself to others, but there comes a time when you must say enough is enough. The first few times you say "NO" there's an uncomfortable queasiness that builds in the pit of your stomach. For a moment you'll waiver, almost give in, but stand firm and strong in your decision.

It's all right to tell your former spouse, children, boss, family, or friends "NO". There will be no dark cloud of doom befall you. The sun will rise again, and this is a perfect opportunity for you to practice and learn to turn off those emotions driving you to do too much, give too much, and take whatever others are willing to dish out.

If you're going through a bitter divorce and custody battle, let your divorce lawyers handle the ugly messiness. That is their job, and they understand your stress and frustrations. They are more than capable of dealing with all the issues. You need to take care of your children, getting them and yourself through this new life adjustment.

Due to increased responsibilities as a single parent you may have friends and family who miss the carefree days you once enjoyed for talking and socializing. Maybe at one time your bosses' request for overtime was manageable, but now you have to draw a line. Even your children will test your resilience as the main disciplinarian. You have no choice but to set boundaries everyone will have to live with.

Here's a suggestion every single mom has trouble with - take some time for yourself with NO interruptions. On a daily, weekly, or monthly basis, schedule some alone time. This is not a time for Bible study, although prayer should be allowed, you are never bereft of the Lord. Grab a notebook and pen to write down thoughts, but don't use this time for planning. Fill your mind and notebook with positive, uplifting thoughts, release pent-up emotions, and cry out to your Father. Let this be a building up of your defenses and self-esteem.

Allow yourself to be pampered from time to time, eat right, exercise, get your hair done, and dress up once in a while. Most of all, just say NO!

I AM broken, but on the mend

2013-02-11T07:36:00.000-06:00

Do you ever feel like what you want to share is already being written by another? Have you noticed others are writing about topics you've already written about? We are unique, our experiences are our own, so why does this happen?

We are made in His image!

It doesn't matter who we are, what our heritage, we are ALL made in His image. From our blood cells to our skin and hair color, from our heart and emotions to our spirit and soul, He created and breathed life into each one of us. His hands molded the clay. He is the potter, the creator. He is the Alpha and Omega. Pretty awesome when you think about it like that.

Those are my thoughts after logging on to Blogger and seeing the many drafts I've started and stopped due to the abundance of information already being shared by you all. So what am I going to do about it?

To be completely honest I just don't know right now. January was a very difficult month for me. This whole year of Transformation is still a question mark glaring in my face. The year began with so much hope, but has drastically turned into questioning my confidence. Of course having the flu, trying to discipline a rebellious tween, and dealing with sisters who want to become saviors in the 24th hour can dampen anyone's enthusiasm.

Yes, I'm broken right now, today, in this moment, but God is mending and blessing me as He always has. I'm taking some time from sharing here to spend more time over at NOBH, to visit all of you and comment on your brilliant posts, and to see what God has in store for me.

Am I worried that you will stop following me here? Not really. God knows my heart. I cannot do the transforming, only He can do that. Oh, I do have some reviews I've promised and am really late in sharing, sorry. But other than that, you'll be hearing from me at your blog. See ya there!

#16 ~ It's not always about you

2013-01-24T06:13:00.000-06:00

I can't tell you how much I dislike tackling discipline problems. A single parent is always the "meany", and it can be emotionally grueling. I've read countless books on the subject of discipline and how to handle it as a single parent, but it doesn't get any easier, especially when your dealing with a tween who's stretching those rebellious-independent-muscles. I've seen many single parents give up and give in.

BUT, it's not about you! Our children will go out into this big world and they'll need the proper tools to be productive adults. They need to honor the Lord and you for the life they've been given. They will need to respect authority, have self-control, and be disciplined in their actions, words, and deeds. If we don't enforce rules and boundaries they won't have any idea..

why they can't hold down a job
why they aren't given promotions
why they can't get ahead
why they aren't respected by their spouse
why their friends won't stick with them
why they aren't living the good life
why God isn't answering their prayers
why they are having to endure hardships and trials

"Teach them His decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave." Exodus 18:2

"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

#15 ~ Things can change in the blink of an eye

2013-01-12T07:30:00.000-06:00

Hey, have you entered my giveaway? Go check it out.

When good things happen we want to hold on to the moment. We know it won't last, so we savor and wallow in the happiness we're feeling.

When bad things happen we want change as quickly as possible. In the middle of hardship and trials it can feel like it will go on forever. But, things will and do change!

How can they change in the blink of an eye? By changing your attitude towards the moment. Every day I wake up and ask the Lord, "Is this really happening to me?" The good, bad, and ugly, it doesn't matter. He always answers, "Yes! What are you going to do about it?" I choose to make ever day, every moment about Him. It's all about my attitude, and the blessings I'm ready to receive from Him.

Back to school ~ 2013

2013-01-06T11:38:00.001-06:00

Our year officially started in August, but since we were a little displaced, had the majority of our curriculum in boxes, and lessons were sporadic at best, we are starting over.

I've also decided to throw the idea of "what grade are you in?" out of our homeschool. My son is at different levels in all subjects. My way of thinking is he's right where he's supposed to be, so there! (Hopefully that doesn't sound too bratty and obnoxious, but really. Stop questioning me!)

Mary recently wrote a post that was almost verbatim to my thoughts the last few months. So, I'd like to make a change in how we do things. In the past I made a plan and scheduled lessons similar to public schools. We have been a little more flexible with our time and resources, but the plan is still the same. I’d say, “Here are your lessons, now let’s do it.”

My son isn’t seeing the connection of education to real life. I want him to be excited and interested in learning. But, implementing an "interest led" plan is something neither my son nor I would be happy with. It gives him too much control, and plain and simple my son is not "interested" in school at all. That makes me sad and frustrated. Education is too important to be losing him at this early stage.

I became even more worried that my son didn't know the former presidents of the US, didn't know the states and their capitals, and many other things he has shown an interest in learning. How could I have overlooked so much?

I've been so focused on teaching the fundamentals that I forgot a simple but major fact; you can't teach everything all at once and what you do teach should be interesting, compelling, and worthy of their time and energy. I want my son to be able to write and do it well, regardless of his attitude, learning style, and all other equations that didn't fit into my plan. I want my son to excel in math beyond what he is capable of at the moment. His mind just hasn’t wanted to conform to my standards. (Dare I say a public school standard?) So I've thrown caution to the wind in order to break him. Poor little guy!

Children are only interested in one thing - what is in it for me. They have to see the benefits of a good education. Telling them that with good grades they’ll be able to go to a great college, get a better paying job, and have a better chance for a life of prosperity does not compute in their “here and now” minds.

I'm transforming. For the past few weeks I've been working out the details of a new plan. I've been cleaning up and transforming our homeschool resource blog. Now it is more pleasing to my son's artistic eye. I’ve changed some of the curriculum we will be using to adapt to his interests, and hopefully he will find more joy in learning. Of course we'll tweak and adapt even more as we go, because after all that's what's so great about homeschooling, right?

To be continued…

Please take a moment to check out my giveaway. I love Motivated Moms because it has made my life more simplified in so many ways. I know it can help you too.

# 14 ~ You can't judge a book by it's title

2013-01-03T05:17:00.000-06:00

Have you ever been invited to review a book, the title grabs your attention, and without reservation you agree to review the book?

Today I was supposed to write a review for just such a book. It was written by a psychologist... need I go further?

Over the past few years I've become a non-fiction junky. I enjoy reading self-help books, but I'm usually pretty choosy about the authors. A little research into their background, interests, and previously published books or articles lets me know if I'll be edified by a book. I've learned the hard way though, anyone who believes the Bible word for word from cover to cover has to be careful about what they read from other authors.

This book came in the mail, I read the first few pages, and immediately felt this book was not for me. A couple of days later I tried to pick it up again. To no avail. Even skimming through the pages was an uncomfortable experience. So, I put it down forever.

I want to apologize for not being able to give a more complete review, but really MY spirit is at peace about it.

(You can ask, but I won't tell you the name of the book. Just a little advice, if the book has a title with words you normally equate to Christian content, beware.)

Make every day count with Motivated Moms (Giveaway)

2013-01-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

Now that I've settled into my own place again, I'm looking forward to using my 2013 Motivated Moms planner. The last year living with my mother was tough, and keeping up with the daily housekeeping activities was doubly difficult. I didn't have time to sit down, write lists, or organize my time. What I needed was a way to address each task in a simple, comprehensive, and effective way. Motivated Moms got me going in the right direction.

This planner is a systematic method of tackling household chores one task at a time. To be truthful, my working hours now are so random throughout the day, and with homeschool planning and activities, I simply don't have the time or energy to keep track of everything needing to get done. I'm thrilled to leave that up to Motivated Moms, and I'm positive every part of my home will get clean.

Here's a sample of the 2013 planner. (Click the image to enlarge.)

As you can see, once a task is tackled I just check it off and move on. Did you notice the Weekly Bible Reading? This is a great planner for those who don't want to think about To-Do lists, chore or cleaning schedules, and/or housekeeping notebooks. Trust me, I used to love my household binder, but it collected more dust than it was useful in my efforts of cleaning.

Here's some really great news, Motivated Moms offers the planner as a printable ebook or an iOS app that works on an Android, iPhone, iPad, or iPod Touch. (Requires iOS 4.1 or higher.) AND they are allowing me to offer one planner in either form (winner's choice) to one of my readers. The giveaway will run from January 1-15, 2013.

If you can't wait to see if you'll win, get started with your own planner now by using the code HEART when ordering to get $1 off. (Code only valid for ebook purchases from Jan. 1-15, 2013.) Below is an example of Motivated Moms half-sized printable planner for on the go moms who prefer it in writing. It easily fits in your purse, and has an additional bonus section for keeping track of important appointments.

A new word for the new year

2012-12-30T08:51:00.000-06:00

The fruit of the past made it's mark on life. Each moment tasted, then savored, nourishment received. Look forward ~ the sweet, ripe fruit of a new year is upon us.

2013 will bring opportunities and blessings. My word this year is TRANSFORM; mind, soul, and body.

Button courtesy of Melanie at Only A Breath. Choose your One Word for 2013 and link up.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will."
Romans 12:2

"And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
2 Corinthians 3:18

"..who, by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body."
Philippians 3:21

Happy New Year!!!

Link up here too!

#13 ~ If you're keeping secrets, you're not living God's plan

2012-12-28T04:00:00.000-06:00

In my opinion, keeping secrets is like lying. Nothing good can come from them, either you or someone you love will be hurt. One thing is for sure, if you feel the need to hold something back or you're uncomfortable or unsure of an idea or action, then something isn't right. God's plan for your life is to be on stable, sturdy ground, secrets keep you mired in shifting sand.

It may be painful and forgiveness may be needed, but the sooner you bring light to your secrets God will bless you. You won't have to tiptoe through life, and your heart will be free to share the genuine love bestowed upon you.

Jesus shed His blood for you, so be free!

"There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs."

Luke 12:2-3

#12 ~ Don't compare your life to others'

2012-12-27T04:54:00.000-06:00

There are two principles to this lesson, and they're two sides of the same coin.

First, don't look at another single mom and say, "I would do things differently." You have no idea what's going on in their life. Making a judgement, or thinking yourself better than them, creates an unnecessary division among us. We need to stand together and support one another.

Second, what works for another single mom may not work for you. You are normal, and living your life as best you can. Listen to God and what His plans are for you, He won't steer you wrong.

#11 ~ Make peace with your past, have no regrets

2012-12-26T05:11:00.000-06:00

Recently I was asked a question: "Have you ever done something you regret?" I remember a few years ago a conversation with one of my sisters, she made this comment, "If (this) hadn't happened to you, your life would be so different." Back then I had to think about my sister's comment, but now my answer comes more quickly, "I have no regrets."

There comes a point in life when you're able to accept things for what they are, lessons learned and an opportunity to be blessed. If we don't experience trials and hardships we aren't receptive to the blessings God has for us. This is how our faith in God grows strong.

Can you believe anyone would be thankful for the bad things that happened to them?

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..." Genesis 50:20

From our home to yours....

2012-12-22T23:49:00.000-06:00

I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior yes, the Messiah, the Lord has been born today in Bethlehem!

Luke 2:10-11

And Mary said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.” Luke 1:46-55

#10 ~ What comes out of your mouth is just as important as what goes in

2012-12-21T20:15:00.000-06:00

Turning 45 years old is a reminder, the older I get the slower my metabolism gets. Everything I eat will either promote or harm my health. Sugar adds to the waist line, the hips, and causes glucose levels in the blood to rise. Salt contributes to water retention, increase of inflammation and pain, and a rise in blood pressure.

BUT, we all know that, right? What goes in my mouth is something I can control much easier than what comes out. Over the years I've learned to monitor my words, and the filter has become a little better at catching those that would be hurtful. I'm still not immune to the occasional foot-in-mouth disease though.

Who knows, maybe in another 5-10 years and I'll have those words tamed too.

#9 ~ Be realistic about your time and resources

2012-12-19T07:19:00.001-06:00

The bills come like clock work. They don't take into consideration the devastation and hardship of your role as a single mom. They don't waiver even when you're in limbo due to court proceedings and judgements waiting to be made for support on you and your children's behalf. They don't care if you have employment, are looking for it, or in need of time off to take care of the issues at hand. They are part of life, and it does go on.

With that being said, children need their mom, especially during this adjustment. They don't understand everything that's going on, and they truly don't care. All they know is life's different, their dad is not there anymore, and now mom is being pulled away from them. They are hurting too, and noone is there to help them.

It is imperative to be realistic about your priorities. Make a list of your priorities. If a job is at the top, you need to rethink that decision.

When my father left, my mother became a work-horse. She had three jobs, was sleeping a few hours here and few hours there, and I hardly ever saw her. When I did see her, she was either yelling at us for not doing chores, not doing well in school, or she was dragging us off to a friend's (another single mom) house to commiserate over their lot in life.

I've had a similar experience of over-working myself to make ends meet. Now, I'm more realistic about what I can do, and what I should do. I go without some things that others think are a necessary part of living just so I can eliminate a few bills. I work diligently at the job God has provided with faith the income will be enough to provide for our needs.

I will admit it's easier to say 'everything will be all right' than it is to believe, and there are times when worry and despair drive me to look for more hours of work than my body can take. These are the times I allow God to carry me. He said He would, and I have to trust Him to do it. My child's, and my, life depend on it.

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Isaiah 46:4

#8 ~ Playing the "blame game" breeds discontent

2012-12-17T02:22:00.000-06:00

In light of the tragedy last week, I find it fitting to share this life lesson. Yet again our country is in mourning for a senseless, evil act and the the loss of innocent life. I remember the stories and headlines in 1999 that permeated every channel and newspaper for more than a year in Colorado. There was so much pain, anger, and fear.

We were consumed with thoughts and conversations about how this could happen and what can we do to prevent it from happening again. Even back then many felt the only way to solve the problem was with gun control. While others wanted security systems and scanners installed in every school, and still others blamed a lack of mental health programs. Then there were those who blamed the parents and their parenting skills.

In situations like these there is always someone or something to blame. But, harboring thoughts and feelings of blame keep us all from moving on. It makes us bitter, angry, and fearful. It stalls life from being full of the blessings God has for us.

Bad things happen. There will always be evil in the world. There will be wrong doers who take from us, do harm to us, and wish to make our lives miserable. We must overcome this by deciding each day to focus on God and the righteous as prevailing winners.

We mourn the lost. Our hearts are broken for dreams and lives never fulfilled. We pray for those affected by this tragedy, but we must not play the blame game. When we do evil has gained a valuable advantage.

Read this brilliant post by Amy at Raising Arrows also.

Where's the Line to see Jesus?

2012-12-17T01:00:00.000-06:00

A re-post from last year. This song has become a favorite and helps remind me of the real meaning of Christmas.

Mom's Here ~ This guest post from Werner Rogers

2012-12-13T12:15:00.001-06:00

My mom recently moved in with us and we’re really excited to celebrate the holidays with a new member of the family. I love her to death and after my dad died her health declined pretty rapidly so I’m actually pretty glad she’s got a place to live with us and we didn’t have to think about a nursing home.

She’s living above the garage in the spare room and since she moved in I have to say, our electricity bills are through the roof! She’s afraid of the dark so she leaves all the lights on all the time which means more and more power going out of the house – and it’s not like she has a job to help supplement the extra cost (and we’d never mention it to her, anyway.)

So I’ve been online looking at www.electriccompaniesTexas.net and talking to the neighbors about who they use because I think I need to switch our provider to save some dough. I’m a stay at home mom so at least we’re saving money on a home healthcare worker by having me take care of mom but I know my husband is stressed out by the sudden added expenses we’re incurring. He knows I’d do it for his family and that I love his mother like she’s my own so he has never once said a cross word about it.

There’s something to be said for the love of family and having people who are there for you no matter what and I know that my dad would be thankful that I took mom in when she needed it most. My family is really strong and we’ve got such an unbelievable bond and my mom is now part of it! She’s always been a part of it but now she’s a part of the nuclear family and not just on the outer fringes like the rest of our extended families, you know what I mean?

#7 ~ Cry, the tears are healing

2012-12-13T06:12:00.001-06:00

You've been injured, wounded. There is the loss of a lifestyle with all your hopes and dreams. It hurts! Cry and allow the tears to soothe the burning of your heart and soul. Take a moment to grieve, and wallow in the unfairness of the situation.

At times you may not be able to control the water works, and you'll cry when you least expect it. Allow yourself to heal. There is plenty of time to show your strength, prove your stability. For now, this minute of this day, just cry.

"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:7-8, 11

#6 ~ You don't have to win every argument, Truth will prevail

2012-12-12T06:59:00.000-06:00

You dreamt about it, planned it in your mind, one day you'd meet your knight in shining armor, fall in love, have the big wedding, and give birth to children so you could share all that love. But then something happened, something unforeseen.

Your knight turned into the enemy, or maybe he was just taken from you too soon. Now there is only anger, bitterness, or grieving despair. You're left picking up the pieces of a fractured home. Wait, this wasn't supposed to happen. What happened to all the love?

Arguing, fighting, struggling for control is the only way you seem to be able to communicate with one another. Lawyers, judges, in-laws, siblings, are all putting their two-cents worth in to help you see reason. In your dreams they were never allowed to become involved, and you and your knight could always work things out. Now you have no choice but to deal with what's left of a broken relationship, or a lost one.

Decisions and choices you would have made rationally together are now being fettered out to others who think they know best. It becomes a battle for your children's lives, and yours. Once the gavel falls you're stuck with it, this is your life whether you like it or not.

Take comfort in the fact God has a plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Remember: Truth WILL prevail!

#5 ~ Get out of debt and stay out of debt

2012-12-10T03:25:00.000-06:00

My father had this financial philosophy: "If you don't have the money on hand to buy something you shouldn't buy it." He didn't believe in credit cards, and hated to get behind on bills.

I had a business credit card about thirteen years ago. I never had a reason to use it, in fact the longer it was in my wallet the more anxious I was about having it. I kept telling myself it was just for emergencies, but the most amazing feeling came over me when I cut it up. There was no more fear or anxiety about getting myself in a hole I knew I couldn't get myself out.

At the time I was single and had noone to take care of except myself. I can't imagine the added stress a credit card would be for me now. Single moms can't afford to get behind financially. We are notoriously looked upon as bad risks, and our work ethics are underestimated. For good reason:

Child support is not a steady resource. In fact the delinquency rate for child support payments has never been higher.
Who will help if you or a child have a serious medical need?
Most single moms are living just below the poverty level.
The majority of single moms have jobs that pay little more than minimum wage.

The list could go on and on, but we can overcome these obstacles if we keep a handle on our finances. Here are five simple things you can do to make that happen.

Photo credit

One, budget everything. Know where every single cent goes, and expect the unexpected. I had a friend who felt so bad about her children not having a father she'd spend to try and make up for it. When the car needed repairs she didn't have the finances to cover the costs. Never let emotions for the children dictate your spending habits.

Include savings in your budget. Even if you're only able to save $1 a month start an "emergency fund" immediately. You should have at least one to two months worth of rent and bills saved, and don't touch it for anything.

Photo credit

At the same time you should keep additional money in a "savings account". This is for the unexpected car maintenance, medical bill, etc. that arise.

At first it may not seem worth it to save $1 here, a few pennies there, but it builds up. Before you know it you'll have enough in savings to take some of the stress and worry off your shoulders. We have enough of that already, right?

Secondly, shop thriftily and frugally. Always have a shopping list, and stick to it. Avoid the "end of the aisle" sales. Don't let your children's complaints contribute to bad spending decisions. Several times over the years I've heard about how unfair it is that we buy store brand yogurt instead of the fun, pricey, brightly packaged yogurt, or instead of buying Lunchables, we make our own. If I hear too much complaining, I fix cabbage soup. It's amazing how appreciative he becomes of what he does have.

Thirdly, only eat out for special occasions. Those dollar menus are tempting, but your only filling up on greasy, carbohydrates. Plan meals/recipes that are quick and easy to prepare. Teach your children to cook. They're learning great life skills, everyone eats healthier, and your budget isn't taking such a beating.

Fourthly, get off welfare as soon as you can. If that's the only way you're able to collect child support that's fine, but don't become dependent on it. Have faith and trust in God to supply all your needs. The welfare system was not meant to be your source. It is there for a season, but you must hold on to the hope your season will change.

Finally, don't be ashamed to ask for help. I knew a woman with a son a little older than mine. She consistently donated her son's clothing every year when he'd outgrown them. I went to her, explained my situation, and asked if we could have the clothing. My pride hurt for a few days, but it opened a door for she and I to become friends as well as our sons. She later referred me to a friend who was able to give me a job. Opportunities are out there, step out on a limb or two, you never know what door or window will open.

Remember: “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

Hey, I'm linking up with my favorite funny gal, Nan, today over at "MAKING YOUR HOME SING! MONDAY?" Come over and join us!

#4 ~ Don't take yourself so seriously, no one else does

2012-12-07T04:15:00.000-06:00

Your mind is so muddled with one task or another. There's bills to pay, food to buy and prepare, clothes to wash, character to build in your children....it just doesn't stop for a single mom. We are the beginning and end of the line in our homes. It's easy to get fixed in the mode of taking things seriously.

What would it take to break that grim expression into a smile?

Could it be listening to your child go on and on about the newest game he's been playing on the internet instead of getting his chores done? How about the leftovers you just dropped in the middle of the kitchen on the way to the refrigerator which left splatters all over the front of the stove and cupboards? Is it when you look at yourself in the mirror first thing in the morning and see the black rings under your eyes, the crows feet deepening, or the new gray hairs springing up everywhere?

Instead of dissolving into a puddle of tears, find the joy. You might think, "Easy for you to say." Not really. I have to continually remind myself that every moment I take the circumstances too seriously has the potential to tear me down. Every disdainful look or hurtful comment from one who doesn't understand could bring shame or guilt to an already broken heart. Crying about it won't help. Holding on to anger and bitterness keeps me from achieving my goals.

So I say laugh, and do it as often as you can!

#3 ~ Forgive and stop talking or thinking about it

2012-12-06T04:29:00.000-06:00

You didn't become a single parent on your own. Things happened and they were painful, but you have to forgive and let it go. We can get so focused on the pain that unforgiveness will spread like a disease in our bodies and in our homes. Do you really want that to be your legacy to your children?

Once you're able to forgive, don't let the circumstances become all you talk or think about. Let's face it every human likes to tell a good one, and sharing our past heart-ache seems to fall from our lips so easily. This will only negate the ability to move on. And don't think forgiving someone is a one time deal. Believe me, almost eleven years later others are still saying and doing things in my life that make me get on my knees asking for a forgiving heart.

The greatest example I've been for my son is forgiving his father. Neither one of us desires to ever be in his presence or communicate with him, but the door is open for genuine civility. This attitude then bleeds over to other situations like...

the man who gave me a derisive look and a snide remark when my son's diaper smelled and his nose was runny
the woman who said I had no choice except to do it the way she thought I should and called me stupid for thinking otherwise
the couple who were kind for awhile, but later found out we were their charity for the year and wanted nothing to with us after
the doctor, the lawyer, and others who said I had mental issues, was a liar, and I should seek immediate help

As you can see, whether big or small it's easy to share our hurts, but can you forgive?

#2 ~ When in doubt, give it your best and stick with it

2012-12-05T04:28:00.000-06:00

Everyone has to make decisions and choices. As a single mom it can seem like every decision you make will be life altering. Guess what, it just may be, but you still have to do it.

When you do, stick to your guns. Don't let yourself or others make you think or feel you didn't give it your best. Don't second guess in hind's sight, or play the Monday morning quarterback. It'll just drag you down and make the next decision that much harder to make. Unfortunately, there is no playbook for a single mom. We just have to go for it sometimes, and have faith and trust in God.

Most of all, stop asking everyone in your life for their opinion. One or two trustworthy family members or friends will suffice, but don't overdo that either. They aren't and cannot live your life for you.

I made the decision to homeschool my son. There are those who have voiced my own doubts about how I'll be able to work to support us and homeschool. The decision is made, I'm giving it my best and sticking with it.

In a way single moms have to demonstrate more faith and trust than most others.