Mrs BC's House of Chaos

We've moved!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 10:05:00 +0000

Thanks for visiting, we have moved over to our brand-spanking new site at www.lisabartoncollins.com - See you there!

Cumin Pork with Hand Pulled Noodles

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 09 Jun 2015 04:55:00 +0000

A few months ago, it seemed like Xian Cumin Lamb was all over the internet, everywhere you looked. It sounded delectable, but I'm not a massive lamb fan and I did have a few gifted Murray Valley Pork tenderloins just waiting around, so you know, one thing led to another and Cumin Pork was created. I'm sure I broke lots of cooking rules about regional spices, and it's true that I didn't exactly follow a set recipe, but you guys. YOU GUYS. This is probably the most amazingly delicious thing that has ever come out of my kitchen. Was it the tender treatment of the pork or was it the drool worthy flavour of the spices or was it a marriage made in taste bud heaven? I think the latter.

Cumin Pork with Hand Pulled Noodles
OK, there are a lot of ingredients, and we are making noodles by hand, but don't worry, it isn't that difficult. It's the layering of spices that make it so special, and it comes together in minutes at the end. Plus it is so, so worth it, I bet you don't just make it once.

Ingredients

2 Pork Tenderloins - I was lucky enough to have Murray Valley Pork on hand.
1 red onion, thinly sliced
a big handful of green beans, topped and tailed.
a handful of fresh coriander and mint, chopped.

Pork Spice Mix

2 Tablespoons of ground cumin
half a teaspoon of soy sauce
half a teaspoon of kecap manis
half a teaspoon of ground coriander root
half a teaspoon of minced chili
half a teaspoon of minced garlic
a big pinch of ground white pepper
a big pinch of ground black pepper

Sauce

A big glug of olive oil
4 teaspoons of minced garlic
2 teaspoons of minced ginger
1 large sliced red chilli
a big pinch of cayenne pepper
a big pinch of ground white pepper
a big pinch of ground black pepper
2 tablespoons of soy sauce
2 tablespoons of rice wine
1 tablespoon of rice wine vinegar
half a teaspoon of brown sugar
small pinch of salt.

Noodles

3 cups of plain flour
pinch of salt
about 1 cup of water
about half a cup of olive oil

Method

Pork

Cut the tenderloins into slices about 2cm thick, then lay them on their side and bounce a heavy, sharp, chefs knife across each side. The aim here is to NOT cut all the way through, but to open up the surface by putting little cuts across the meat. This allows the pork to hold more spice mix and therefore more flavour.
When you are finished, mix all of the spices from the spice mix together and rub into the pork. Use your hands to massage it in thoroughly, you want to get into all the nooks and crannies. Set aside in the fridge for a few hours.

Noodles

Mix the salt, flour and water into a smooth dough, and knead for at least 15 minutes. Do this in a bowl to reduce mess - do it in a food processor or mixer with a dough hook if you like, but reduce the kneading time. Set aside to rest for at least 1 hour.
Oil your hands, and roll the dough out until it is 1cm thick. Cut into about 20 strips. Oil the strips so they stay separate.
Take one strip at a time, and use the heel of your hand to smash the strip into a long flat, misshapen noodle, if it breaks into a few sections that is OK. Pick up the noodle (or noodle sections) and stretch gently it using both hands. Pretend you are in a noodle shop and practice your Cantonese vocabulary, the noodle will thank you. No, not literally! Continue until all noodles are smashed and stretched, cover with some grease proof paper.
Cook each noodle separately in a large pot of boiling salted water, until they float to the surface, remove with tongs and set aside for a minute.

Finish and Plate

Add a few tablespoons of olive oil to the pork, spread in a large hot pan and sear for 1 minute, then saute until pink.
Add the onion and beans to the pan, stir.
Add the sauce ingredients, stir.
Add the cooked noodles, toss to combine.
Sprinkle with coriander and mint and serve.

HEY! This post is not sponsored but I am so happy that Murray Valley Pork gift me with their amazing product to take with me on my cooking adventures. Thanks MVP! Also thanks to this website and this one too for their inspiration. You guys rock.

While I was gone

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 03 Jun 2015 01:34:00 +0000

You may have been wondering why I've hardly posted over the last few months, or you might not have even noticed - that is OK too! I haven't been winding the blog down, or any such thing; I've just been busy, working on transforming my life out of it's little cocoon. My wings are almost ready to unfurl and take to the skies, I just need a little more fairy dust application, so watch this space.

I have been doing an online course called Miracle Worker, run by one of my favourite internet people, Gala Darling; and the very talented and wise Ellen Fondiler. I really needed a cosmic kick up the bum/slap on the forehead/effectively gentle push toward realising that I don't have to live a small life, BECAUSE MY LIGHT IS ALLOWED TO SHINE DAMNIT! and this course is doing wonderful things to light up my inner glow. It's allowing me to get a move on and realise my dreams. Do you ever feel all cob webby inside, like you need a blast of sun light and fresh air to make you understand that you had the power all along, Dorothy? This is exactly what this course is doing. I highly recommend it. There are weekly workbooks and play lists and homework and a great facebook community to keep you inspired. I love it.

During the school holidays my nephew came to stay with us. This sounds like such a non big deal, but honestly....for a start he came all the way from New Zealand. Due to a lot of tragic and complicated family situations neither I or the boys had ever met him. I can't imagine how nerve wracking it must have been for a young teenager, but he handled it with aplomb, and soon was right at home mucking around with the boys and basically being the perfect cousin/nephew. He is such a lovely, well mannered, mature and kind hearted young man, I hope we get to spend more time with him soon.

Did you know we have some extra livestock around the Casa Chaos? A friend and fellow blogger was enduring a bit of a life changing experience and was having trouble re-homing the family dog, and knowing how important the family dog is in times of trouble we put our hand up to be his foster parents. It was touch and go at first but he has settled in beautifully and I think he might end up being our forever dog. Even Kora loves him, although she is certainly giving me a tonne of attitude. We also have a couple of chickens, that are absolutely part of my urban garden oasis ideal but actually have stopped laying (it's too cold, it's too hot!) and in the meantime have ruined my garden oasis. I don't want the garden to look like Stalag 13 but I think a liberal application of chicken wire is required. Ideas, anyone?

Lastly, I have re entered the workforce after 8 years of not being in the paid workforce. I know, huge! It's only a few days a week as receptionist in a psychologists clinic, close to home. I really didn't want to get a job as I thought it would take time and energy away from SHINING MY LIGHT, but it's worked out really well. The people are lovely and the job itself is kinda neat. Now I can pay the bills and fund the light shining plans, while still having time to follow my dreams. Quality time, not spent stressing about money. Phew!

So tell me, what have I missed? What have you been up to while I was gone?

xx

Strawberry Tart Recipe, and a Pyrex Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 01 Jun 2015 00:01:00 +0000

This post is sponsored by Pyrex, who have provided the world with the most fantastic cookware for the last century. Happy 100th birthday, Pyrex!

Strawberry Tart, eh? If you have been following along on instagram you will know that my first born works at a strawberry farm, and regularly comes home with trays and trays of gorgeous strawberries; luscious, sweet, perfectly ripe and just picked strawberries. When Pyrex contacted me and suggested I make an apple pie to help them celebrate their 100 year birthday, I thought Hmmm, apples? I have a better idea....

Strawberry Tart

Break this down into a few steps and it is easy as, well, pie. I've made this egg free due to my son's egg allergies, and I'm so happy with the way the sweet shortcrust turned out I can't wait to cook with it again.

Sweet Shortcrust Pastry

Ingredients

2 cups of plain flour
3 tablespoons of icing sugar
1 and a half teaspoons of baking powder
a pinch of salt
250g butter
about 6 tablespoons of ice water

Method

Place the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt into a food processor, pulse a few times to mix.
Cut the butter into squares about 1cm big, pulse into the flour mixture until it's a bit lumpier than if your were making scone dough. You should still see tiny bits of butter.
Pour the water in a few teaspoons at a time, just until the dough forms together in a ball, not a second more. The easiest way I find with the ice water is to put some water and ice cubes in a small jug and drizzle it in as you need it, that way the water stays very cold and stops the protein strands from developing in the dough, which ensures the delicious 'short' part of short crust pastry.
Wrap the dough in glad wrap and rest in the fridge for an hour or so, or even overnight. Just let it rest on the bench top a bit before you roll it out.

Frangipane

Ingredients

60g butter
half a cup of castor (regular white) sugar
1 and a half cups of ground almonds.
1 teaspoon of vanilla
3 tablespoons of milk

Method

Puree everything in a clean food processor until well mixed, keep in the fridge until ready to use.

Assembling the Tart

Ingredients

Strawberries! I used maybe two punnets worth.
Strawberry jam, for glazing.

Method

Roll out the sweet shortcrust in between some glad-wrap, so it's easy to transfer to your pie dish. I lined the pie dish with some baking paper to make sure it didn't stick, but it wasn't neccesary. Gently push the pastry into place in the pie dish, and trim any excess. Use your fingers to flute the edges of the pie, which is made easy when the pie dish itself has fluted edges! Put another piece of baking paper on top of the pie shell, and weigh down with rice or uncooked legumes. Bake 10 minutes in a medium-hot oven.
Remove pie from oven (it won't be cooked) and remove the baking paper and rice/legume situation. Use a spoon to spread the frangipane evenly over the base of the pie, and return to the oven for another 10-15 minutes, until cooked.
Wash and cut the green leaves of the strawberries, cutting them flat so they have a stable base to sit on. Arrange your strawberries in the pie, pushing down slightly into the frangipane.
Heat a few tablespoons of strawberry jam in the microwave, and use a pastry brush to gently glaze the strawberries. Refrigerate until ready to eat. Serve with whipped cream.

This was supposed to be taken on a picnic to celebrate the last day of autumn but the weather was a bit threatening, so it was eaten in the backyard for Sunday morning tea with the neighbours. Delicious!

Pyrex Giveaway

To celebrate Pyrex's 100th anniversary, Pyrex are giving away all the Pyrex equipment you need to bake your own amazing pie! All you need to do is follow the easy Rafflecopter prompts. Make sure you leave a valid email address so I can contact you!

The Prize Pack consists of;

Pyrex Large Spatula RRP $10.95
Pyrex Measuring Cups RRP $14.95
Pyrex 22.5 cm Pie Plate RRP $9.95
Pyrex Basting Brush RRP $9.95
Pyrex Serrated Peeler RRP $9.95

But first, some Pyrex trivia:

Approximately 65 million pieces of Pyrex have been sold in Australia to date, meaning one in five households own at least one piece of Pyrex. Considering it hardly ever breaks, that's a lot of Pyrex!
Approximately 315000 Pyrex jugs (my personal favourite) are sold in Australia each year!
Pyrex is super convenient and can be used in the oven, freezer, and microwave and will also survive the dishwasher.
The clean design of Pyrex pieces absorb heatwaves in the oven, which speed up cooking time and save energy.
Pyrex are available practically everywhere, check out the website for more information and everything else Pyrex.

Good Luck!
Australian residents only xx

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Cirque du Soleil: Totem. YOU MUST GO

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 11 Apr 2015 01:31:00 +0000

Last night I was invited to the Brisbane premier of Cirque du Soleil Totem, and it was, simply put, amazing.

Despite having not seen Cirque du Soleil before, my expectations where very high; I've heard the hype and watched snippets of it here and there, even a documentary once! I loved Cavalia, and I was sure Cirque du Soleil Totem was going to be just as fantastic. Let me tell you, it absolutely exceeded every preconceived notion I had. IT IS AMAZING. Yes, caps. #sorrynotsorry! Cirque du Soleil are celebrating their 30th year, and this is Totem's 5th year on stage, so rest assured that this act has been honed to it's finest performance.

The thing about Cirque du Soleil is that it is not just incredible performances from almost supernaturally talented artists who have done nothing but practice for years this very act you are now looking at with disbelieving eyes; it is brilliant outfits put together by a top notch wardrobe department full of artisans who have hand painted and hand-beaded every minute detail; it is a stage that is so technically advanced it continues to surprise until the very end of the performance; it is incredibly evocative live music that organically weaves through each act; it is the mastery of the lighting technicians, the skill and imagination of the make up artists. All of this - all of it - culminates in harmony to bring you the most awe inspiring moment, every moment, for the 2 hours or so of each performance.

I don't want to ruin any surprises for you, but some highlights for me where:

via

5 Mongolian ladies tossing and catching metal bowls whilst riding 2m tall unicycles.

via

These glow in the dark alien tumblers.

via

The high swing performers. So sweet.

via

A Native American wedding on roller skates. Fearless and achingly beautiful, I wasn't surprised to find out this is performed by a married couple.

There was A LOT more to see, trust me. Or better yet, go see it for yourself and choose your own favourites. If you want to be amazed and delighted, get goosebumps and maybe a bit teary, go. GO.

GO. YOU MUST SEE IT.

Cirque du Soleil TOTEM
Brisbane dates 10th April - May 24th 2015
Under the Big Top at Hamilton, Brisbane
Go here for tickets https://www.cirquedusoleil.com/en/shows/totem/tickets.aspx

NB: I attended Cirque du Soleil Totem as a guest and received no financial reimbursement for attending, or writing this review. All words, enthusiasm and neccesary hyperbole are my own.

Old Fashioned Fishcakes

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 01 Apr 2015 00:58:00 +0000

Here is an idea for Good Friday, Old fashioned fishcakes! Soothing nursery food that everyone loves, baked in the oven so fairly healthy, and goes well with green veggies or a salad. It also appeases those people who insist on fish for Good Friday. YUM.

Old Fashioned Fishcakes

Ingredients

About 2 kgs of potatoes, more if you have to feed a lot of people or you'd like leftovers. I recommend this.
1 large tin of tuna, packed in brine. We love Sirena brand in the Chaos house, but go with your fave. Look, use tinned salmon or even cooked fresh fish if you like!
1 tablespoon of butter
salt and pepper to taste
1 handful of fresh parsley, chopped.
Whatever else you'd like to add. I love to include finely chopped spring onions but Monkey boy won't eat such nonsense. I grew up with finely chopped celery included, and Mr BC wanted me to add peas. Go ahead and include what you fancy!
Panko breadcrumbs, for coating. (I say 'breadcrumbs' but I know it's made from rice. Crazy huh?)
olive oil.

Method

Peel, chop and boil your potatoes. After they are cooked I like to drain them then return them to the saucepan over a hot element to steam as much liquid as possible out of them.
Mash like no one's business. Stir with a wooden spoon at the end to really smooth them out.
Stir in the drained and flaked tuna, butter, salt and pepper, parsley and what ever else you are personalizing your fishcakes with. Put this mixture into the fridge to cool down.
When it is cool enough to handle, use your hands to form large patties. Coat in panko bread/rice crumbs, place on a baking tray lined with oven bake, and drizzle with a small amount of olive oil.
Cook in a hot oven for about 20 minutes until browned.
Serve with salad or steamed veggies or whatever you like. Enjoy!

Leftovers make great sandwiches with a squirt of tomato sauce.

Hope you have a very happy Easter!

Perfect Roast Pork with 6 Delicious Sides

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 30 Mar 2015 03:14:00 +0000

Last week was my birthday. I don't always like a big fuss on my birthday but this year I wanted a nice family dinner at a local Tepanyaki restaurant, however a a mix up with the restaurant and Mr BC's work meant that my birthday dinner would not involve either my husband, or catching any eggs in a bowl. Disappointment! Luckily Murray Valley Pork had gifted me with a SIX kilo leg of pork, so I got busy with my favourite thing to do - cook.

First up - cooking perfect pork. This leg of pork was absolutely EPIC, and I didn't want to ruin it's glory by fussing with it too much. I decided roasting would be the most respectful thing to do.

Perfect Roast Pork

Check the scoring, and if neccesary, use a very sharp knife to add some more. Murray Valley Pork is always scored expertly, so I didn't have to worry about this at all.
Rub with salt and a drizzle of oil. Don't be gentle, you want to get right in there.
Place in a roasting pan, and blast on 250c for about 30 - 45 minutes, to get the crackling going.
Reduce to 180c, and for each kilo of pork, cook 1 hour. This leg of pork was about 6 kilos, so after the initial high heat it was in the oven for 6 hours. That seems like a really long time, and I was worried it was going to be overcooked and dried out so I kept checking it. I needn't have worried, it turned out beautifully! Perfectly moist and tender. It was so soft, it was a (lovely, drool worthy) challenge to slice.
When finished, take it out of the oven to rest, and remove the crackling. Place crackling in an new oven proof tray and return to the oven, to crisp up even more. Just before serving, use kitchen scissors to cut the crackling into smaller pieces.
Cover the pork loosely with foil, then a tea towel to keep warm while you make the gravy.

Delicious Sides for your Perfect Pork Roast

Gravy

Take the baking tray that the pork has cooked in, and drain most of the fat out. I like to leave a little bit for taste.
Add approx 2 tablespoons of butter and melt on the stove top. (Did I mention this was NOT a low fat recipe?) Stir the whole time, using a spatula or wooden spoon, to loosen up the baked on bits in the pan.
Add approx 2 tablespoons of flour, and stir into the butter and oil to make a roux. Stir for a few minutes so that the flour cooks properly and browns a little, and takes on the flavours in the pan. Don't let it burn.
Slowly add about 3 cups of water, stirring the whole time until the gravy is smooth and lump free.
Add salt and pepper to taste. After you have sliced the pork feel free to add any lingering pan juices to the gravy.

TIP: I haven't counted this as a side, as I consider it mandatory and as such, part of the roast. Yep, that's how we roll. This is how I make gravy for all roasts, it works very well; especially with chicken if you have cooked a few lemons with the chook and squeeze the juice into the butter at the start. If it gets too lumpy, turn the heat down and stir harder. If you cannot get the lumps out by stirring, either push it through a fine strainer or transfer it to a different container and use a stab blender. I always make extra because the boys love leftover gravy poured over hot chips.

Candied Kumera

This is a not very authentic version of the famous American Candied Yams, or maybe it is, I don't know. The boys loved it.

Peel some kumera and cut into pieces. Drizzle with a tiny bit of olive oil, and roast in a baking dish in the oven until done, maybe 40 minutes?
In a microwave proof jug, melt 2 tablespoons of butter, 2 tablespoons of maple syrup, and 1 tablespoon of brown sugar. Stir well, and pour over the cooked kumera.
Return to the oven for 20 minutes or so to crisp up a little.

Roast Potatoes with Rosemary and Bacon

Slice some new potatoes into your desired shape (I've made thick slices here, just for a change!) Arrange in an oven safe dish with small slices of bacon, and small sprigs of rosemary. Drizzle with a tiny bit of olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt. Roast about 1 hour.

Roast Asparagus with Garlic

Wash the asparagus and the snap ends off, place in an oven proof dish.
Finely mince or grate some fresh garlic over the asparagus, drizzle with a little olive oil and gently massage through to ensure all asparagus is coated.
Roast for about 15 minutes in a hot oven. (While you are blasting the crackling is ideal.)

Cheesy Zucchini and Corn Spoon Bread.

Can this technically be called a spoon bread? I think so. I don't know. It is delicious.

Finely dice a large zucchini, Steam, then drain in a colander with a tin of corn kernels, and about a cup of finely diced and steamed pumpkin.
Transfer to a bowl and mix in half a cup of coconut flour, 3 chopped green onions, half a cup of sour cream and 1 cup of cottage cheese. Add some white pepper. Mix everything really well before you add the cottage cheese, then stir gently so it doesn't break up too much.
At this point you could add an egg and turn it into fritters. I did not - I poured it into an oven proof dish and topped it with a sprinkle of panko breadcrumbs.
Bake in the oven about 30 minutes, until the top is browned.

Apple and Red Cabbage Saute

Slice one red onion and one red apple (skin on) and saute in a medium size saucepan with half a tablespoon of butter.
When the apple and onion are softened, add the shredded quarter of a small red cabbage. Stir through, put the lid on, and let it steam for approx 5 - 10 minutes.

Chili Parmesan Cauliflower

Cut half a cauliflower into florets, steam in the microwave until just tender.
In a saucepan, saute some chopped garlic and chili in a small amount of olive oil until softened.
Add the cauliflower and stir. Leave to simmer away on low heat for about 30 minutes. This will give the cauliflower time to steam a bit more and soak up the flavours of the garlic and chili. Stir occasionally so it doesn't stick.
About 5 minutes before serving, stir in a quarter of a cup of parmesan cheese. Stir well, scraping up all the melted cheese and caramelized chili off the bottom of the pan. Serve.

And for desert?

A Choc chip banana layered cake made by my gorgeous daughter. Giddy Up!

NB: Murray Valley Pork gifted me with this epic leg roast, and I am super happy they did! All words, enthusiasm and recipes are my own.

Saying goodbye to an unfinished project.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Mar 2015 00:53:00 +0000

I am the type of person who likes to be thorough. I like to complete tasks. I like to put a tick in that box and feel a nice sense of satisfaction. Not completing a task feels like......like failure? Like I've let myself and everyone else down? It feels like being a Quitter, and I like to think I am No Quitter. I have a lot of projects on the go, and a lot of ideas spilling out of my head. I've learnt to accept that sometimes my ideas will stay in a notebook and never see the light of day - because there are only so many hours of light in a day. Sometimes a project involves a piece of furniture or something large, and if that project isn't actioned immediately it it will sit around in a great cluttery heap, as if I've dragged the entire street's worth of hard rubbish into my house. We don't have a workshop and my shoe box sized house cannot store that much curb shopping!

So, years ago, my parents bought an ugly green striped couch, two actually. You know the ones, from a place that sounds like Lametastic Furniture? Somehow I ended up with the sofa bed couch, and have dragged it around the country with me from house to house. I hate this couch, I thought it was ugly the day it was delivered to my parents house, and familiarity only bred contempt. Why did I keep it all these years? Because it was a sofa bed, and even better; an uncomfortable sofa bed. We where able to accommodate guests but none of them wanted to stay too long because the bed was so uncomfortable. It was perfect! But it was still ugly. So I devised a stylish cunning plan.

The plan was to transform the sofa bed into a sofa ottoman, that would be the size of a single bed, be beautifully upholstered, and be on industrial style wheels. It could function as a single bed if needed. It was going to be awesome. I got to stage 5 on the plan, and man was it cathartic ripping that eyesore of a couch apart. The plan worked very well, but I needed about $1000 worth of supplies to see the project to completion, and that is where it stalled. I didn't feel we had a spare $1000 and if we ever did experience a small windfall, it went on other things that where more important than that ugly couch. So the ugly, pulled apart couch sat there for a few years and became a weight on my conscience. Every time I looked at it I would think I really must finish that couch, that ugly couch is so ugly, why can't we have nice things? The one persistent house guest we have found it so uncomfortable she bought her own single bed and installed it over the top of the ugly couch, so it wasn't even needed anymore. But it still lurked there, under the bed, in all it's unfinished ugliness.

Eventually, the house kind of flooded a bit from the excessive rain we had from Cyclone Marcia, and the chipboard sides of the couch became so water damaged it couldn't be fixed. Mr BC hauled it off to the tip. I am relieved it's gone, but I still feel a sense of regret, and incompletion, and lack of closure. It's only an ugly old couch, well past it's prime; but I did not get to tick that box, even after putting up with it hanging around for so long. Also I'm a bit resentful about the single bed because it is absolutely ugly; I think it came from a place called Home Fart.

Should I have just gotten rid of the couch years ago, said enough is enough and cut my losses? Should I have just found $1000 to complete it? Should I just pick my projects and not take on too much? I definitely think it is time to move on. I've still got lots of projects to get on with. Do you have a lot of unfinished projects? When do you decide enough is enough? Is it hard to say good bye for you too?

xx

My thoughts on the current 'Diet Industry' drama.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 12 Mar 2015 11:05:00 +0000

Gosh there is some shit going down isn't there? Between Paleo Pete supposedly talking about liver and bone broth formula for babies, Belle Gibson apparently lying about ever having cancer and keeping money raised for charity within her company, and The Wellness Warrior dying after refusing chemotherapy in lieu of coffee enemas and fresh juices; you would be mistaken for thinking the Diet Industry is imploding spectacularly. That's what I think, anyway.

My thoughts on the shit storm going on in the Diet Industry just now:

Lying to people is wrong.
Lying to people to make money is worse.
Lying to people about curing their cancer, their child's autism, or any other emotionally fraught situation is reprehensible, and people who do this should be prosecuted and made to feel the full extent of the law.
People who don't think they are lying, but continue to make financially lucrative unsubstantiated claims, are irresponsible, and should also be made to feel the full extent of the law.

My thoughts on your diet are:

I don't care what you eat, it's none of my business!
The idea of eating fresh, local, organic, etc sounds sensible but as it's your diet, it's still none of my business.

My thoughts on my diet are:

I eat what I need to be healthy. I avoid what I need to, because - health.
I love food! I eat a varied diet, and get inspiration from all over the place. I have an iron stomach, and that is my problem. My pancreas is apparently not made of iron at all, and is some cheap plastic shit. Sad face.
I like some paleo recipes because eating low carbs is one of the best ways to manage my diabetes, but I do not follow the paleo diet. If it works for you, great! But we are talking about me just now. (See above 'my thoughts on your diet')
I will never give up grains, dairy, coffee, wine, or anything. And don't tell me what to eat, because I can manage my own choices just fine thank you very much.
I would love to eat regular pizza, donuts, ice cream and pasta without consequence, but alas, that is not the horse I'm riding and must practice extreme moderation. I guess my pancreas really is the boss of my diet after all. I desperately wish to eat my weight in steamed dumplings and sushi but it would probably put me in a coma. Thanks, pancreas.
I am lucky to have the time and space to have a veggie garden and keep chickens. I like that my husband goes fishing, I wish he went more often. I also wish we owned a salmon farm, but no. Disappointing.
Most of the time I don't like the taste or smell of coconut, so I try not to eat it.
I don't particularly care for lots of food products from the health shop, so I don't eat them.
According to my diabetes educator, my diet is excellent and very healthy. Go me!

My diet is tempered by my own particular health requirements, just like everyone else. Diabetes is a bitch yo! But it won't go away with wishful thinking, or exercise, or losing weight, or eating activated nuts or sprouted grain bread. It is the hand I've been dealt, so I must play it accordingly.

I love cooking, and sharing my recipes here, but I'm certainly not espousing any dietary mandates. I eat food that suits my tastes and health requirements, and if I've needed advice or help with my individual situation I seek it out from proffesionals. Everyone is dealing with their own health issues, and are doing the best they can. Isn't that great! It's not my job to be the diet police for any one except myself, and it pisses me off that other people give themselves a badge and start telling people en mass what to do. Especially people with health issues. It's not cool, it's fucking criminal. Or it should be.

What do you think of the drama surrounding the Diet Industry at the moment?

15 ways to de-stress your home

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 09 Mar 2015 20:30:00 +0000

Open the windows. Let the bad vibes out and let some fresh, cleansing air in.
Play some music. Make it happy with a beat you can dance to, soothing or vibrant. Your call.
Put a funny movie on. You don't even have to watch it, but the laughs coming out of your TV as you go about your business will keep you cheerful company.
Bake something that smells delicious. Cinnamon rolls, apple pie; you don't even have to make it from scratch. Cookie dough from the supermarket will have the same effect. It's the warming, welcoming aroma you are after, not the taste. (Although that will be great too).
Print some of those happy memories out of your phone or hard disk, and put them in a pretty frame to remind you of the good times in your life. No frames? Maybe a heart shaped collage on the wall or fridge.
Install a pot plant or a bunch of flowers in your living room, it's nurturing greenness will not only please your eyes but also clean the air.
Have a quick clean - nothing major, just 5 minutes of dusting will make for a happier home.
Light a scented candle.
Declutter for 10 minutes. Walk around with a laundry basket and fill it with stuff that is harshing your good vibes - it might not be your job to put the stuff away, but clearing those socks out from under the coffee table will improve your view.
Update the couch with some bright cushions and a throw to lift your spirits.
Print out or make some colourful or inspirational artwork and put it where you can see it every day.
Change your sheets! Not my favourite job but everyone loves clean sheet day, yes?
Give the windows and mirrors a quick going over with a damp microfibre. Removing grime and smudges will improve your outlook considerably. (literally and figuratively)
Plan something fun, like a short holiday or even a day out. Having an adventure to look forward to is fantastic for the soul.
Have some friends over for an impromptu get together and fill your home with love and laughter. Let these good memories soak into the walls and into you.

What to cook for dinner when your child has late afternoon sport

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 08 Mar 2015 20:00:00 +0000

I have two children that play one sport each, and that is already 3 nights of the week where there is practice or a game on at dinner time. PLUS an early morning Saturday game, but that is a whinge for another time. I sit with the other mums and chat, and some of those mums have children who do a lot more sport than this! One mum has 3 hour long training sessions on the same night, another drops one kid off, takes another to swimming, races back...all after a busy day at work. Crazy huh? What do you cook for dinner if you have three kids doing sport at dinner time? Or even one kid? I asked around, and sometimes there is something waiting for them at home but most of the time it is takeaway. I don't at all mind the occasional take away myself, and neither do my kids, but 3 nights a week is not great.

Here are some dinner ideas for when your kids sport is eating up your time and you need to get dinner on the table in a hurry.

SLOW COOKER
Oh, you knew I'd go here first, don't lie! I won't rabbit on too much about the slow cooker, as I've already done so here, here and here. It's hard to beat for ease and convenience, and a bit of prep will make your dinner time a lot easier. If your mornings are as chaotic as mine, make it the night before and put it in the fridge, so all you need to do is pop it on before you leave for work.

Spaghetti Bolognaise is a lovely warming carb fest to come home to when you are tired and need something to fill you up. I'd normally cook the sauce on the stove-top but at least with the slow cooker I can leave the house and know it won't be burnt down on my return. 15 mins to cook the pasta while you have a much needed glass of wine and the children have a shower.
Spanish Chicken. I'm cooking this tonight actually! Saute some onions, garlic, smoked paprika, cumin and thyme in a fry pan, deglaze with a cup of red wine, add some chopped tinned tomatoes, then pour over some chicken legs and a few chopped red capsicums and maybe a scoop of olives if you don't mind picking them out of your children's dinner. I'll be having mine with cauliflower mash, the boys will have mashed potato, both of which can be prepped, sitting on the stove ready to go.
Taco Night! Put your favourite taco mince recipe in the slow cooker (Barack Obama Chili is a favourite round here), have all other ingredients prepped and ready to go in the fridge (lettuce, grated cheese, sliced tomato, sour cream, what ever you like) and then when you get home, all you need to do is put everything on the table and stand back.

Pre-Prepped

This is all about having something ready to put in the oven when you get home. It might take a bit longer than 15 minutes but depending on your child's coach, you might need more than one glass of wine. Silver linings, people.

Pasta Bake. Easy peasy! Use your favourite recipe, or use this one for Big Arse Salmon Pasta Bake, or Google a recipe and find one you like. So simple, and it doesn't take much time to make in the first place, let alone heat in the oven when you finally get home.
Lasagna. OK technically this is another pasta bake, but it's easy to make and whack in the oven. It's not hard, it's just bolognaise and pasta sheets, with a bechemal sauce on the top.
Lemon chicken and potato bake. In a lined baking dish, place some thyme or rosemary, cover with chicken pieces (thighs are good, but wings or legs work well also) and quartered potatoes. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt; then cover with glad wrap and pop in the fridge until you get home and are ready to pop it into the oven for about 45 minutes.
Moussaka! If your children (or you) don't like eggplant try making it with thick slices of steamed potato instead. Perfect with a green salad.
Shepherds Pie. I like to pretend the shepherd in question was a kiwi, and cover it with mash made from kumera. Apparently this is healthier, so feel free to have a second glass of wine.

Assembly
This is not quite take away, and not quite home made; it can be a healthy alternative though. Go to the supermarket and buy things to assemble on your dinner plate. Try to stay away from the frozen section *note to myself*

BBQ chicken, a bag of salad, some nice crusty bread. Just like Grandma makes!
Creamy pasta sauce and pasta from the chilled section, fancied up with some cooked prawns and baby spinach leaves.
Fresh pizza from the chilled section, which is nicer than the ones in the freezer that look like they've been run over by a truck. Add some extra toppings from the deli section - olives, feta, salami, marinated seafood, cooked prawns, proper cheese....what ever you like. Goes great with a glass of wine.

Shop your own freezer
Next time you make a batch of something, make a double batch and freeze it, and life will be a little easier. It might take 30 minutes to nuke in the microwave, and that is enough time to make some pasta, rice, salad or veggies to go with it. Wouldn't it be lovely to find any of the following in your freezer?

Any thing listed above that you cooked in the slow cooker.
Anything that you pre prepped, like pasta bake.
A large chicken and potato curry
A hearty minestrone soup, and maybe some garlic bread to go with it
A big batch of meatballs in tomato sauce

Ahhh, childrens sport. Isn't it great? I've just realised how many times in this post I've referenced having a glass of wine .......

5 Basic Photography Tips from a non photographer.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 02:20:00 +0000

Photography seems to be my family's sport. My father and grandfather before him manufactured photographic lighting, and were keen photographers. My cousin is a proffesional photographer, and I have many aunts, uncles and cousins who are just a bit better than your average amateur photographer. I do not have that gene, sadly. (I am also the only one in the entire extended family that doesn't ski, but that is a story for another time)

So, my camera of choice is an iPhone. If I had a different camera I might be inclined to know how to use it properly, but I don't, so the iPhone is it. I have an iPhone 5, with a blue case if you wanted to know. Here are the 5 tips I have been given that have made the biggest impact on my photography skillz.

TIP 1 Take lots of photos. What are you worried about, wasting film?

We live in a digital age now, and don't have to conserve expensive film like we did in the olden days. You can literally take 100 photos of your cup of coffee (or family on the beach), then delete 99 crap ones until you get to the best one of all. If you take just one or two, they might turn out to be blurry, or have a dirty napkin in the background, or some other ghastly photo bomb situation and then where will you be? Safer to take the extras and delete them later.

TIP 2 Lighting is important.

First of all, don't ever use the flash on your phone. Like EVER. It's so yellow and bleached out and ugly, just pretend it isn't there and forget about it. Try and take photos in natural, bright sunshine. Don't stand in the way of that sunshine and take a photo of your shadow, that would be dumb. If you take a lot of photos in your kitchen or dining room or whatever, find the best place for light in that room and stick to it. But what if it's not the time of sunshine, I hear you ask? What if I want to take a photo right now and the sun is not out?? Here is a game changer that I learnt about from Absoluteleigh - buy an inexpensive LED camping light. It's like having $15 worth of sunshine in your handbag. It makes a MASSIVE difference if you are taking photos at night or in low light. The LED gives off a clear white light, that gives a nice, clean, non yellow light in your photo. I love it. I was embarrassed about pulling this UFO out of my bag the first time, for about 3 seconds; now everyone wants to borrow it! Seriously, the only difference between the photo on the left and the one on the right is the gadget in the middle. Find it online, or at camping stores.

TIP 3 Style Your Images.

What are you taking a photo of? What can you place, or remove from, around the object to make it more interesting? You don't have to be Rachel Zoe and you don't have to pretend you are taking photos for a catalog, but it's not hard to make the background appealing - rearrange the table slightly at a cafe, place a handbag behind those shoes, put the kids in front of a mural or a nice tree, get rid of the laundry basket, clean the edge of your plate where the sauce has spattered. Think about the law of thirds, you can turn a grid app on your phone to show you where things could look better. Think about perception - most things photograph better from directly above, taking a photo from an angle might cast shadows that you could love or hate. Try it! See tip 1; if you don't like it, it can be deleted. Styling You recently posted about taking flat lays, and there are some excellent tips there for styling images, as well as the law of thirds.

TIP 4 Try not to Shake It Up!

I have the worst shaky hands. It's not DT's, I promise I'm not an alcoholic! I think it might be Ventolin that makes my hands shake.....anyway. Shaking hands do not make for lovely photos, they make for blurred, wobbly photos. What I do is try to rest my hand or elbows on a pile of books or something, or hold the camera (and the hand pressing the button) with my other hand, just for a bit of stability. Holding my elbows into my body helps if there is no handy table or pile of books around. Taking a deep breath to centre myself also helps. And finally, see Tip 1 - take lots of photos, they won't all be blurry.

TIP 5 EDIT EDIT EDIT

Don't just whack your unpolished photo up there, there are opportunities to edit all around you! You can edit on your phone, it comes with editing functions. Go to the app store and be amazed at the free editing options available to you there. On Instagram, you can edit. On your laptop, you can edit. On the internet, you can edit. There are NO excuses for not making your photo the best it can be. Here are the basic edits I do for photos that go on the blog. (Remember I do not carry the photographers gene, so be kind) In Microsoft Office Picture Manager, I do an auto correct. I then crop wasted space or ugly backgrounds out, keeping in mind that a bit of 'white' (blank) space is good to frame your subject. I then compress the image so that it doesn't eat up all the memory. THEN I upload it to PicMonkey, where I might turn it into a collage or add some text or other effects. Sometimes I edit it in Canva, which has some really lovely banners and text options. Finally it gets to go on the blog! If an image is for Instagram, I crop, apply a filter and straighten up the horizon in Instagram. Uneven horizons are a pet hate of mine, especially for photos of the sea. Look out! The ocean is draining away!! RUN!

So, there are 5 basic edits for non photographers who only have a smart phone. Are you in the same situation? What tips would you add?

xx

Egg Free Banana Cake

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 01 Mar 2015 23:46:00 +0000

You might have noticed me talk about my middle child having an egg allergy. Luckily he isn't anaphalctic, but eating eggs gives him an unpleasantly itchy mouth and if he's eaten enough, it will come back up again. Gross! This situation is a bit sad for The Gentleman, especially when it is someone's birthday at school, and he has to go without cake. I played around with this recipe over the weekend, and it's a winner! The Gentleman loves it, and polished off 4 slices in no time.

Egg Free Banana Cake

Ingredients

2 and a half cups of plain flour
2 teaspoons of baking powder
1 teaspoon of bicarb
300g of chopped pecans
half a teaspoon of cinnamon
400g tin of sweetened condensed milk
4 bananas, ripe (2 of mine came from the freezer, which made them easy to mash)
250g melted butter
NO Sugar! That's not a typo, there is enough sugar in the condensed milk.

Method

In a large bowl mix the flour, baking powder, bicarb, pecans and cinnamon.
Melt the butter in the microwave, then combine with the sweetened condensed milk and 2 of the bananas (mash them first).
Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients, stir well. Pour into a lined baking dish or tin (I used a 20cm x 30cm Pyrex dish, but it doesn't matter)
Slice the remaining 2 bananas length ways and lay across the top. If you like, sprinkle the top with a bit of raw sugar, this is entirely optional but it does give a nice crunch.
Bake in a medium oven for about 45 minutes.

I like that this recipe can be versatile. Take out the bananas and nuts and replace with grated lemon rind and poppy seeds, or a cup of desiccated coconut and a cup of raspberries or blueberries, or half a cup of cocoa powder. Very handy to know if you are cooking for someone allergic to eggs! Also delicious if you don't have an egg allergy.

Do you cook for someone with an allergy? What sort of foods do you cook? Any hot tips for a mum with an allergy kid?

xx

5 great tips for managing your time.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 20:00:00 +0000

Like lots of people, I have a lot of things to do and not a lot of time to do them in. I find it easy to be swept up in enormous plans to take over the world, but then don't have the actual time to do that. Bummer! Reminding myself of these tips alleviates a bit of the crushing dissapointment of realising I'm not superwoman, and gives me some direction on moving forward, so I thought I'd share them with you. Hope you like them! First lets take a few cleansing breathes and look at the nice blue ocean. Better? OK then! Lets go.

Be realistic with my to-do list(s)

Good God I love a list! Sometimes it's tempting to put everything - every little thing - on my to do list. But is this productive? NO. I find it really disheartening to look at a list knowing I'm never going to tick everything off. There is no need to set yourself up for feeling like a failure, so take another look at that list and be realistic. Things that are major projects deserve their own list, with time-lined action plans, so scoot them off to a different list. Some things might need to be crossed completely off - if that goal is no longer valid and there is no point in doing it, why give it space on a list? Put a line through that baby and cross it off! How good does it feel to get rid of it completely?! I have a few lists going at any one time, and although that sounds confusing, (and suspiciously like someone who needs to be in List Makers Anonymous) it's actually simplified things a lot. I have a daily list that goes in my diary, for things that must be done today. I have a monthly list in a separate notepad of things that I'd like to do this month, but it's not necessarily life threatening if I don't. Then I have separate lists with headings like Blog, Business, House, Garden, that hold the things that I absolutely plan on doing at some stage, but they haven't quite made it to the level of monthly or daily urgency. Is this too many lists? NO! I like it a lot, it works for me, and it's fantastic to clarify your thoughts and off load niggly things out of your head. Of course, the danger is that you spend so much time on your list making that there is no time to do anything, but in reality, investing a bit of time into getting organised is worth it in the long run. Think of it as a nod to mental clarity.

Be realistic with my time.

Everyone is only given 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week. Everyone! Sometimes I hear someone say that they will 'make time' to do something, and you know what? They can't! They DO NOT have a magical time machine that creates hours for them! NO ONE can make time. The only thing you can do is manage it the best you can. I look at my diary (I like an old school paper one I carry around, you might like a digital version. It doesn't matter, as long as you use something) and block out the time that is not negotiable. Exercise, study, work, volunteering, childrens sport, any other commitments should go in. I probably won't forget them, but putting them in black and white makes me accountable for the time that I have, and then I'm much less likely to waste time disappearing down rabbit holes like facebook . It should be really apparent that the time I do have left over needs to be managed well to fit in all the things I want to achieve. There isn't likely to be much time, so whatever you have is precious. It's OK to be selective about what you do with it, and it's OK to say no to other people trying to take it. Guard your time.

Cut myself some slack.

All this talk about making every minute count tends to make me feel guilty for time spent lolly gagging around, but that time is actually really important for my soul, and needs to be scheduled in so that nothing takes it's place. If it feeds your spirit to grab a paintbrush or a box of crayons with no planned outcome, or walk on the beach at whatever pace the ocean allows, or wander through some shops with no agenda, then you must do it. This time is an investment in you, your inner calm and your core of strength. If I think back to the times I didn't allow myself to do this stuff, I remember that those where the times I depleted my inner stores and ran on empty so long I could hardly get out of bed in the morning. Setting objectives and achieving goals is important, but remember to fill your own tank. No one can run on empty, and it's false economy to think you can. Be kind to yourself.

Set goals

A goal is a specific thing you want to achieve, and you need to make a plan for how you are going to achieve it. This is where most new years resolutions come unstuck, there is no plan for how to get it done, just a wish thrown drunkenly to the moon at midnight. (I love the woo, but this approach doesn't even work for me!) I can visualize all I want, but a wish is not the same as doing the work. Break the goal down into actionable steps that you can do every day or week to achieve your outcome. A generic 'get fitter' goal is unlikely to be successful, but a 'Walk every day for 30 minutes' goal is great. Allocate that time in your diary so it gets done. Are there any resources that you need to gather? (walking shoes, exercise clothes) Is there any information you need to achieve your goal? (local walking tracks?) Are there people you need to give you a helping hand? (a local walking group, a personal trainer?) Great, add all of those things to your diary, and set aside time to get them organised. Remember to be realistic about how much time you can devote to your goal - 30 minutes walking a day is great, but 2 hours is probably not great - for your time management or your legs.

Multitasking, is it for you?

I would say no, it is not. It's certainly not for me. Sure, there are some things you can do successfully at the same time; folding laundry, drinking wine and watching TV seem to go really well together, but then none of those things take a lot of brain power by themselves, so it's easy to combine them. It's up to you to choose what you multitask, my experience is that if I set aside a specific time to do something and devote all of my attention to it, then I have a better chance of completing it and being happy with the outcome. Cooking the dinner and helping the children with the homework? OK, most of the time. Cruising through facebook while working on a deadline? Nope, that is a complete waste of time - I'm better off scheduling time for the work, then scheduling time for social media shenanigans.

What do you think of these 5 tips? Do you think they will be useful to you? What is your best tip for managing time? Do you have a plan to take over the world and do you wish you where superwoman?

xx

5 tips for getting the best out of your slow cooker (and a recipe!)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 22 Feb 2015 20:30:00 +0000

I cooked this beef with Asian flavours in the slow cooker the other day, and it turned out so beautifully - full of flavour and really tender. Someone mentioned on Instagram that they couldn't crack the perfect slow cooker recipe, and although I don't claim perfection, I thought I'd put together some tips in case they where helpful. The recipe for this Asian inspired beef is at the end.

Reduce the liquid
When you cook something on the stove-top or in the oven, liquid condenses in your finished dish, meaning the sauce that you are left with is thick and flavourful. In the slow cooker this evaporation doesn't happen, so the liquid is thinner, and the taste will be diluted. The way to overcome this is to not add much liquid into your dish in the first place - so if your regular chicken casserole calls for 1 cup of stock, just use the powder and not the water.

Amp up the flavour
When I first started using the slow cooker I hated it, because it was so watery and diluted tasting. There was no flavour! This is partly caused by the lack of evaporation mentioned above, and also by not adding enough flavour in the first place. You can't rely on the oven to intensify the flavours for you, so it has to be done before hand. Don't be afraid to use lots of herbs and spices.

Brown the meat and onions first
There is a lot of flavour to be had by browning the meat before it goes in the slow cooker, possibly even coating it in seasoned flour before that happens. It's not so much sealing the meat to avoid 'stewing', it's more about the richness of the caramelized brown bark the meat takes on in the frypan, which doesn't happen by simmering alone. Cheaper cuts of meat, that traditionally have more connective tissue will dissolve into mouthwatering tenderness. Chicken thighs with the bone will be more tender and less likely to dry out than chicken breast. Onions will not caramelize unless they are cooked in a touch of oil first, so don't just chop them up and throw them in - allow them to brown slightly and collapse first.

Cook at the right temperature, for the right amount of time.
Cook on low. Maybe start it off on high for a while to heat it up and get it going, but then turn it down to low for the remainder of the time. Leaving the temperature on low is likely to give much more tender results. It's tempting to turn the dial to high and get results faster, but this is a slow cooker, not a microwave!

Go your own way
Experiment! We've all read those spooky slow cooker recipes that contain 2 tins of soup and a kilo of cheese, but there is no need to actually cook them. You can choose your own ingredients and devise your own recipe without relying on sachets or jars. Have fun!

Asian Inspired Slow Cooker Beef

Ingredients

2 kilos of chick steak, cubed, no bones (ask your butcher to do this for you)
a tin of bamboo shoots, drained
a big glug of soy sauce
a big glug of fish sauce
a few teaspoons of ground turmeric
a whole lime, cut into quarters
fresh grated ginger and garlic, a few tablespoons of each
a few tablespoons of brown sugar
a heaped teaspoon of cumin
a small handful of dried curry leaves, if you have them.
chopped fresh chilli, to taste, unless you have a fussy eater.

Method

Chuck everything in the slow cooker, give it a good stir, turn on low, and leave for 6 hours.
Serve with rice, and maybe some salted cucumber or chopped tomato.

Keen eyed people will have noticed that I did not brown the meat first! It's true, I was in a rush and couldn't be bothered. It still turned out really well, probably because there was a whole lot of flavour in there already. Rules are meant to be broken!

Things my children have told me off for.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 20:30:00 +0000

Asking them to go and have a bath.

Unfairly asking them to have the first bath, when they had the first bath last night.

Not allowing them to have a very deep bath every night.

The appearance of a snack sized packet of Burger Rings in their lunchbox.

Putting an apple in the lunchbox when I know it hurts their 'adult teeth'

Walking them to the classroom door and saying hello to the teacher.

Asking them to put the iPod down and go to sleep.

Embarrassing them in public by blowing my nose.

Not believing in God, and therefor not joining the rest of the family in heaven.

Buying the wrong brand of chocolate bar.

Naming one of the chickens 'Voodoo Chicken'.

Refusing to address Voodoo Chicken by it's correct name of 'Mary'

Not having enough ice cream in the freezer.

Allowing their brother to sneeze in public.

Allowing their brother to wave his arms in public, in an embarrassing fashion.

Sending them to their grandparents for the weekend.

Allowing it to rain.

Not having nectarines in the fridge.

Cutting a sandwich the wrong way.

Making a sandwich with the wrong cheese.

Putting lettuce on a sandwich.

Apparent meanness to the dog.

Not convincing a theme park to stay open after it's advertised closing time.

Cooking a cake.

Putting the wrong doona cover on their doona.

Putting the Wombles of Wimbledon pillow case on their pillow, when they wanted the Hair Bear Bunch.

Telling them that McDonalds apple pies contain chokos.

Talking about eggs, when I know they have an egg allergy and I can see them sitting right there.

Unfairly forcing them to go to the beach.

Buying them new shoes when they didn't need any.

Singing and dancing to Steely Dan while in the supermarket.

Not allowing them to go alone into the men's section of a public restroom.

Using a mean voice.

Not allowing them to watch age inappropriate movies.

Are you still reading this list?

I could go on.

I bet you identify to more than a few of these.

What are some things your children have told you off for?

Wait a sec while I get a glass of wine.

xx

Taking Stock. What have you been up to Mrs BC??

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 14:02:00 +0000

I hardly blogged over Christmas and January, and I know you are all just hanging to know what I was so busy doing. You are? I KNEW it! Ha, ha - I'm totally joking.

I borrowed this list from Pip Lincoln over at Meet Me At Mikes, and it's such a good round up, you know? For myself, to clarify and condense what is going on right now. I thought it might be fun to do, and help to appease my slack bloggers guilt.

Making : Eton Mess with the last of the summer strawberries.
Cooking : Pretty much everything! Check my Instagram feed!
Drinking : Lots of soda water made with the Soda Stream.
Reading: Rereading the Charlie Mortdecai books in preparation for the movie release.
Wanting: The Mortdecai movie to be a little bit better, maybe.
Looking: For some new serving platters in Op Shops
Playing: Scissors, paper, rock, wildcard; a variation the boys dreamed up. 'Giant Octopus!'
Deciding: Nectarines, peaches, plums or apricots?
Wishing: Someone would invent carb free sushi.
Enjoying: Swimming as often as I can.
Waiting: For the weather to cool down. Such heat! It's debilitating.
Liking: Having chickens. Fresh eggs every day!
Wondering: What some people are actually thinking!
Loving: Just hanging out with my little family.
Pondering: That maybe it's time for me to go and get a proper job.
Considering: What would I do? Who would hire me? What would I wear?
Watching: Supernatural, Sleepy Hollow, Medium, American Horror Show.....
Hoping: Season 5 of American Horror Show includes Jessica Lange, she is amazing.
Marveling: At the strength and daring of our house gecko. An epic journey every night!
Cringing: over 50 Shades of Grey.
Needing: to figure out a way to exercise, with arthritis in my knees making walking painful.
Questioning: So many things....
Smelling: Frangipane, and the sea air.
Wearing: My new Capri dress from Adrift. I'm obsessed!
Following: Big Gal Yoga on instagram. She is so inspiring, and I love it.
Noticing: How lush the garden is growing in this rainy, steamy weather.
Knowing: It's time for a new chapter in my life.
Thinking: Resume? Referees? Really?
Admiring: Women who do it all, effortlessly or not, they are still doing it.
Sorting: Through clutter, in a big decluttering exercise.
Buying: Home wares from Target and Kmart. My favorite boutiques!
Getting: a slight tan despite my best efforts.
Bookmarking: Ermmm...not this blog, obvs.
Coveting: a move to a lovely avocado farm in the Gold Coast hinterland.
Disliking: Road rage, trolley rage, whats with all the rage?
Opening: My eyes with fresh wonder every day. It's true!
Giggling: At the Katering Show. These ladies are so funny.
Feeling: Lucky, happy, sometimes tired!
Snacking: on protein bars. Just diabetic things.
Comforting: myself with some online shopping.
Wishing: For a holiday, maybe a family cruise. Heavenly!
Helping: My children with homework, yep we are back into the swing of the school year.
Hearing: my son sing the mosquitoes away. He swears it works, so who am I to argue?

Gosh, did you get all the way through? Thanks! Like Pip, I've left a copy of these prompts for you to copy and paste if you like. Have fun!
xx

Making :
Cooking :
Drinking :
Reading:
Wanting:
Looking:
Playing:
Deciding:
Wishing:
Enjoying:
Waiting:
Liking:
Wondering:
Loving:
Pondering:
Considering:
Buying:
Watching:
Hoping:
Marvelling:
Cringing:
Needing:
Questioning:
Smelling:
Wearing:
Following:
Noticing:
Knowing:
Thinking:
Admiring:
Sorting:
Buying:
Getting:
Bookmarking:
Coveting:
Disliking:
Opening:
Giggling:
Feeling:
Snacking:
Comforting:
Wishing:
Helping:
Hearing:

Apple Tarts! Easy, quick, tiny apple tarts with cinnamon cream.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 04:09:00 +0000

So, I made the mistake of showing the following video to Monkey Boy recently, and he was all 'Oh PLEASE make this for Valentines Day, Mum! You could totally make it! Go on, it will be SO yummy!'

And you know, it's kind of flattering for him to think I could make this time consuming, complicated dessert, it really is. But he is way, WAY, overestimating the patience I have to spend in the kitchen, or most places, actually. And this time consuming, complicated batch of NINE cookies that look like something the Nyan Cat dreamed about after eating a large cheese pizza would be eaten up in about 30 seconds, and I would just cry. That much time and effort deserves to be put in a glass case for ever and ever so everyone can admire it.

So I made these 'Valentine's Day Apple Tarts' instead, and they where devoured in 15 seconds, and we where all happy.

Apple Tarts with Cinnamon Cream

Ingredients

1 sheet of puff pastry, thawed
1 tablespoon of milk for basting
about 4 apples, or a mix of pears and apples if you are short of apples
quarter of a cup of sugar, I used raw organic but any kind would work.
Whipped cream, about one litre
sprinkle of cinnamon, or 'apple pie spices'

Method

Peel the apples and pears, dice them into smallish dice, about 1cm. Place in a saucepan with a the sugar and a few tablespoons of water over low heat. Add some cinnamon or spice mic now if you like.
While the fruit is softening, place the puff pastry on a tea towel, and using a heart shape cookie cutter, cut as many hearts out as you can. I made about 12. If it's not Valentines Day feel free to use any cookie cutter you please. A shamrock for St Patrick's Day? A Bell shape for Christmas? A Star shape if your darling got a great report card? A plain circle or square shape because it's just an apple tart not a cause for a celebration for fucks sake? What ever you like.
Place the puff pastry shapes on a lined baking dish and bake in a hot oven for 5 to 10 minutes, until puffed and golden.
While that is happening, whip the cream if you need to.
To assemble: Place a heart or two on a plate, use a knife to open it up halfway. Place a spoonful or two of the apple mixture inside the heart. Dollop on some cream and sprinkle with cinnamon or spice mix.
Present to happy children.

25 Ways to be KIND to yourself.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 22:13:00 +0000

Eat well! Treat yourself with nutrition, not junk. Nutrition can taste great, and you deserve to nourish your body with delicious, healthful food.
Cut yourself some slack! You don't have to be all things to all people. Go to the mirror and tell yourself you are doing OK. Now do it again, and mean it.
Recognize all the hard work you have done. All the late nights with children or studies or both, making dinner like a zombie because you where running on empty. Good on you for doing that! Real strength is doing what needs to be done.
Get moving. Get some fresh air. Go for a walk, bend and stretch, get out of your chair and do some yoga. Get some oxygen into that body.
Gift yourself a massage, or a pedicure. Let go to another and just enjoy the moment. Don't fall into the trap of feeling awkward, you deserve it to be pampered.
Get enough sleep. Easier said than done, I know. Start by turning off the TV and just getting into bed an hour earlier than normal, if you are not tired, then read. Relax.
Practice some self care. Do an at home facial, a mani/pedi, shape your own eyebrows. Take care of your skin; make a luxurious body scrub, moisturize and and put on sunscreen. Take care of yourself.
Schedule some time into your diary to do that thing you love but never seem to get around to. A friend you never seem to catch up with? A browse through some op shops? Do it.
Push your personal boundaries a little! Do something you've always been a little afraid to do, you might like it. Book yourself into a class in stand up paddling, film appreciation, fire twirling, whatever your fancy. Go for it!
Organise your wardrobe and make a list of things you need to buy. Keep the list in your diary to take advantage of sales and op shop opportunities, or a major splurge!
Make yourself a cup of tea (or a cocktail) and sit in the garden. Sit outside at night and watch the stars and the moon, or sit under a shady tree in the heat of the day. Just enjoy the moment.
Buy (or create!) some artwork that makes you smile.
Write down some goals and plan to do them. Write out some actions you can take to make your goals happen. You deserve to live your life.
Go for a swim in salt water, they say it's the cure.
Go for a bush walk and enjoy being in nature. Breathe deeply.
Go to an art gallery and allow yourself to be amazed and inspired.
Light a candle and meditate, or pray. Nourish your spirit. Talk to the 'other' or yourself.
Volunteer your time to something you believe in.
Outsource something you hate - ironing, cleaning the bathroom. Just once.
Read something inspirational. Buy a book or go online, if it touches your soul it's worth it.
Stop worrying about relationship dramas. Allow other people to own their own bad behaviour, you are not responsible for it. This is especially good if you balk at forgiving the unforgivable.
Take care of your mental health. See a therapist if you need to, ask your doctor for a recommendation. Your mental health is as important as your physical health.
Break the negativity cycle! Don't gossip or say anything bad about anyone for a week. It's a great habit to lose, and a week might be enough to reset your mindset. You'll feel lighter.
Laugh as much as you can. Watch a funny movie, check out some comedians on YouTube.
Go on an adventure, in your own city or suburb if the budget doesn't stretch to plane tickets. Get out of your routine and look at things with fresh eyes.

Breathe. Relax. Feel Better.

You deserve it.

Is Pulled Pork the New Bolognaise?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 19:00:00 +0000

*Not a sponsored post, but the product was gifted*

Pulled pork is always hugely popular in Casa Chaos. My family can eat burritos like they are in training for the Burrito Olympics, with many of them proudly punching above their weight. I love burritos too, but I got to thinking about all of the other things I could make with pulled pork, especially if it was made with neutral flavours, rather than the old chili BBQ ones that go so well on a burrito. The flavours used here enhance the pork without being too bossy, which makes it very versatile to use in any kind of recipe. I wonder, is pulled pork the new bolognaise?

Come with me on a Pulled Pork Journey of Discovery......

Pulled Pork, a basic recipe for the slow cooker.

Ingredients

A shoulder of pork, hopefully a large cut so you can get a lot out of it. I used some beautiful pork that was sent to me from Murray Valley Pork - an Australian company that lovingly breeds happy pigs. In the words of Ina Garten, store bought is fine.
salt and pepper
olive oil
3 cloves of garlic, crushed.
1 onion, chopped.
1 tin of chopped tomatoes
1 cup of red wine
handful of fresh herbs, I used thyme and oregano.
half a teaspoon of fennel seeds

Method

Remove the skin from the shoulder, set aside for another time. Freeze it for later if you like.
Salt and pepper the pork, massage with a glug of olive oil.
Sear the pork in a pan, browning the edges well.
Place the pork in a slow cooker.
Saute the onion and garlic in the same pan until soft, then add the other ingredients and bring to the boil. As soon as it starts to bubble, pour the lot over the pork, cover and cook on low for about 6 hours until fork tender.
Shred the meat using 2 forks. It's super easy, you'll get the hang of it in no time. Drain off some of the sauce if you like, although you can include the sauce in the finished product. It's yummy!

Ta-da! You have made basic pulled pork! It is perfectly fine to freeze in portions until you are ready to use it, and the variety of things you can make is only limited by your imagination. It's also great for when the day has been long and you have no imagination left. Here are a few ideas I came up with.

Pulled Pork Lasagna. This was very impressive. I made a basic tomato onion sauce and added a few cups of pulled pork, then made lasagna in the traditional way with packet pasta sheets and a bechemal sauce. Rich and delicious.
Tossed quickly through some pappardelle pasta with steamed greens and a sprinkle of parmesan. And sriracha, because that's the way I roll.
Stirred into a gingery noodle soup, with fresh bean shoots, mint and coriander.
Pork with soft tacos and chilli peach relish and lots of avocado. Not quite burritos...
Tossed through some home made fried rice (or cauliflower rice) and drizzled with oyster sauce.
Served on top of a potato and chorizo saute, with a green salad on the side.
Wrapped up in soft tortillas, covered with a tomato based sauce and cheese then pop in the oven for a child friendly tortilla bake. Crunchy green salad on the side!
Use as a filling for home made ravioli, topped with a spicy Verde sauce.
Wrap in rice paper rolls with crunchy lettuce and a drizzle of hoisin sauce.
Add some sauteed mushrooms and fresh thyme, ladle into ramekins and bake with a puff pastry lid for individual pork pot pies.

Can you think of anything more versatile to have in the freezer? Do you think pulled pork is the new bolognaise? What would you cook it with?

Murray Valley Pork is available at selected butchers across Australia, head to the website to find one near you.

3 exciting adventures to take your children on these holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 09 Jan 2015 03:53:00 +0000

Even if your holidaze are cruising along at a relaxed, cheerful clip, I bet you are still on the look out for a few interesting things to mix it up a little, am I right? Or, if your holidays are a bit like mine and there is not enough coffee to cope with bored, bickering children and all your plans have been derailed by unexpected weather, are you looking for a few things to divert the little blighters from killing each other and/or burning the house down? Do you fall somewhere in the middle? Lucky you!

1. Go see Disney's INTO THE WOODS at the cinema.

This well executed movie combines several fairy tales into one cohesive story, and is filled with enough big names in award worthy performances to keep even the most jaded parent interested. Meryl Streep is an excellent witch, and is going to win a lot of awards for this role. Emily Blunt, Anna Kendrick, Tracey Ullman and the rest of the star studded cast seamlessly stitch together the stories of Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, Jack and the Beanstalk, and The Baker and his Wife in a musical comedy drama where the main message is about taking responsibility for your actions. My boys really enjoyed watching this, and I think it would be perfect for anyone who is ready to move on from Frozen. If you still need convincing, let me tell you that Johnny Depp plays the wicked wolf.

Opened 8th January 2015

In cinemas nationally.

2. Go to the theatre and see The Wind in the Willows

This is a one man play, with the hugely talented Luke Carroll (from Play School!) performing the well loved characters of Ratty, Mole, Badger and Mr Toad of Toad Hall. The play goes for 60 minutes, which is perfect timing for younger children. There is a lot of audience participation to keep everyone involved, and most excitingly for my junior toads, the characters occasionally run through the audience! My boys are familiar with the story of The Wind in the Willows, but the little girl next to me was not, and she had a fantastic time as well. I hadn't been to La Boite Theatre before, but was pleased to find it was almost like Sydney's Her Majesty's Theatre on a more intimate scale, which is conducive to a very atmospheric performance. I'm sure there is a technical term for this style of theatre that I am unaware of. Just goes to show you can still enjoy this theatrical production without knowing much about theatre.

Showing from 7th - 17th January 2015 at La Boite Theatre, Brisbane.

For tickets go to the laboitetheatre.com.au

3. Go and experience High Country Legends at Australian Outback Spectacular

I've saved the biggest and the best for last. The Australian Outback Spectacular is definitely the biggest night time dinner show in Australia, with hundreds of animal and human performers providing a uniquely amazing display of outback Australia. This new line up raises the bar on the already impressive display of horsemanship, and aims to tell the '..the greatest stories never told'. Australian culture has many historic tales that highlight the importance that horses have played and continue to play, and this new show tells these stories impeccably all while you sit back and enjoy a gourmet campfire feast. Clancy of the Overflow, Mountain Brumby, and Cattle Muster are what you might expect, but also be prepared for the Ghost Coach of Omeo (spooky!) and the story of May Zinger-Wirth, the 7 year old girl sold to the circus who became the worlds greatest bareback rider; as well as many displays of outback life. The show goes for about 2 hours and combines sophisticated technology (a huge imax screen with a massive arena showcases the spectacle perfectly; it actually snows inside; fog, light and sound all intermix to make your experience....well, spectacular) with talented performers (many musical numbers performed by the experienced cast, as well as impressive trick riding, racing, an amazingly talented dog and the worlds cutest donkey.) The arena holds over 1000 people and they are all served dinner within 8 minutes - a spectacle in itself. Oh, and you get a free hat. GO. You will LOVE it.

For further information including show times and ticket sales, visit the website here.

Happy Holidaze!

Bring back the Dinner Party! But first, a giveaway.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 00:31:00 +0000

This post is bought to you in collaboration with Corelle.

I might be showing my age here, but back in the early '90s Mr BC (then fiance C) and I would host many dinner parties. We would crank up the Sade, and treat our guests to a pre-dinner cocktail followed by several courses of rich, overly prepared, adventurous courses all matched carefully with wines because we were utter wine snobs. To finish, there would always be chocolates and port, accompanied by an argumentative game of Pictionary into the wee hours of the morning. Ahhhh, good times!

I tell you this because Corelle have released a YouTube series called 'The Tipsy Hostess' and I thought it was an absolute crack up! Tiffany is the hostess with the mostess. It reminded me of several episodes of bad behaviour, (probably from me) but also from one notoriously childish grown up. He complained loudly that his spoon was Not A Proper Soup Spoon, and flounced off to the kitchen to throw the offending spoon into the sink before selecting a new spoon and returning to the table to slurp his soup in huffy indignation. He had selected the spoon we used to feed the cat, a fact neither the fiance or myself offered as we sat there in smug silence and let him enjoy his soup.

Here is episode 1, but make sure you also catch episodes 2 and 3. Hilarious!

Corelle is the original break and chip resistant dinnerware, known for it's legendary toughness. I can see it has a lot in common with Tiffany! You can follow Tiffany's exploits here, she has plenty of tips for hosting the perfect evening! Corelle dinnerware is perfect for flighty dinner guests, fractious children, camping disasters, and maybe even tantrum throwing hosts. It's also very reasonably priced if you are just starting out on your dinner party journey.

Corelle would like to give away a dining set to the person with the best tip for hosting a dinner party, entry is via Rafflecopter below. If you can't think of any tips, just tell me something you would cook for your ideal dinner party, or a story about a dinner party you've hosted, or attended. The winner can choose from either South Beach or Ruby Red, and Corelle will ship it to you directly; hopefully in time for your next dinner party! The winner will be drawn on Monday 22nd December.

South Beach or Ruby Red?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This is not sponsored, but Corelle did send me the South Beach dinner set to try, and I absolutely love it. It is fresh and summery, and I don't have to worry about the monkeys breaking it or teenage daughter chipping it as she angrily unloads the dishwasher. Thanks Corelle!

In the Sack: 15 Ideas for stunning Christmas Canapes

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 07 Dec 2014 21:00:00 +0000

Today I am blogging for Agent Mystery Case's In The Sack series, which is all about making Christmas easier and surviving the silly season, hopefully with your sanity (and dignity!) intact. Pop over to Agent Mystery Case for some great giveaways!

Do you like a fancy hors d'oeuvre? Me too. I know Christmas is all about the feast, and you certainly won't need anything extra to nosh on prior to lunch; it's just that an impressive little mouthful goes a long way to set the scene for civilized frivolity; I kind of think it encourages people to be on their best behaviour. Besides, it soaks up the pre-lunch cocktail like no one's business. Here are 15 ideas to add some pizzazz to your Christmas day, and keep the rellos out of the kitchen while you slice the turkey. All can be prepped the day before, with just a few moments needed to serve - even the ones that require hubs to man the BBQ.

Sweet potato with spinach salad
Cut small rounds of sweet potato, roast until crispy in a hot oven. Chop fresh spinach or silverbeet with some feta, shallots and salt and pepper, set aside until ready to serve. When ready to serve, quickly pop the sweet potato in the oven to heat up without going crispy, remove from the oven and arrange on a serving tray, top each sweet potato disc with a spoon of salad. Prep the day before, assemble just before serving.

Spoons with an oyster, seaweed salad and flying fish roe.
I first had this in a fancy restaurant and it was amazing, considering it is basically just assembly. Place Chinese spoons on a serving tray. In each spoon place an oyster (use freshly shucked oysters that you get in a jar for this, don't bother with the half shell.), a small amount of (bought) seaweed salad, and top with a small amount of red flying fish roe, you know the stuff used in sushi. Delicious! Assemble on the day, a few hours before serving.

Marinated prawns on skewers
Peel and remove poop chute from raw prawns, leave the end of the tail on. Place length ways on a skewer so they look like long fingers with tails on the end, and place in a shallow dish. Mix up some lemon juice, turmeric, crushed ginger and fish sauce, pour over the prawns and leave to marinate overnight. When you are ready to serve, send your husband out to BBQ them for a few minutes, turning frequently. Do NOT overcook, they are already cooked a little bit by the lemon juice.

Scallops wrapped in bacon
Wrap a Tasmanian sea scallop in a small piece of bacon, secure with a toothpick or skewer. Continue until all the scallops are wrapped. If you want, marinate in some olive oil, finely chopped fresh rosemary and garlic. Leave overnight, then send Hubs off to BBQ them when you are ready to serve. They won't take long at all.

Honey lime chicken skewers
Use chicken thigh fillets to make some skewers, marinate overnight in a mixture of lime juice, lime zest, honey and crushed ginger, do this the day before. BBQ when ready to serve. The honey will make them burn quite easily, so warn hubs to set the BBQ to medium.

Rudolph pies (made with venison)
Excellent for shock value! You can make the filling a few days or even weeks earlier, it freezes really well. Saute some chopped carrot, garlic and onion in olive oil until soft. Toss diced venison in seasoned flour, add to the pan and cook quickly to ensure the outside is seared. Stir in half a cup of stock, and half a cup of wine, simmer over very low heat until thickened. This is your filling! Use a well greased mini muffin pan to make the pies, I used shortcrust pastry for the bottom and puff pastry for the lids. Cook about 30 minutes in a medium oven until pastry is cooked, serve with a wicked grin. Make the pies the day before and cook on the day.

Lettuce rolls with spicy noodle salad
Mix cooked udon noodles, thinly sliced red capsicum and bean shoots with some bought satay sauce. Clean and dry iceberg lettuce leaves. Put a large spoon of noodle salad into each lettuce leaf, roll up like a spring roll and refrigerate until ready to serve. Feel free to add chicken, tofu, or whatever you like to the noodles. Make the salad the day before, wrap in lettuce leaves about an hour before serving.Serve chilled!

Pico de Gallo with tortilla chips
Mix together chopped ripe tomatoes, spring onions, red onion, a big handful of parsley and coriander, the juice of 1 large lemon and 1 lime, a drizzle of olive oil, 3 big pinches of salt and one of sugar. Add fresh or jarred chili to suit your taste and let sit for at least 15 minutes for the flavours to develop, sits well in the fridge overnight as well. Serve with good quality tortilla chips, also tastes great on the Christmas ham.

Sesame duck salad tartlets
Use bought tartlet cases, and fill with a mixture of bought shredded BBQ duck, chopped coriander, parsley, shallots, red capsicum, and some tiny shavings of wombok cabbage. Dress the salad with rice wine vinegar, sesame oil and sesame seeds before assembling the tartlets. Drizzle with a little extra sesame oil just before serving, and if you like, a drop of chili jam. Make the salad the day before and assemble just before serving.

Chicken meatballs
In the food processor, mix 500g of chicken mince, 1 chopped spring onion and a teaspoon of crushed ginger. Using wet hands, form into smallish meatball. Place in a frypan, cover with glad wrap and put the frypan in the fridge overnight. On the day, remove the glad wrap and whack the fry pan on the stove over medium heat for 15 -20 mins until cooked. Serve on a fancy toothpick, with some chili jam for dipping.

Corn pancakes with smoked salmon, creme fraiche and chives
Use your favourite pikelet recipe, add a tin of drained corn kernels, dollop a tablespoon at a time into your frypan to make smallish pancakes. You can do this the day before but make sure they are packed in between paper towels in a tightly lidded Tupperware container. On the day, arrange on a platter and when reasonably cool, top with some smoked salmon, a dollop of creme fraiche, and dust everything liberally with finely chopped chives for an impressive presentation.

Mini beetroot rostis topped with smoked salmon and sour cream
In a food processor, grate 1 large fresh peeled beetroot and about 4 large potatoes. Place in a colander and stir through a large pinch of salt. Let sit for 15 minutes then use your hands (wear gloves) or a spoon to squeeze out as much liquid as possible. Mix through 3 tablespoons of melted butter, form into small patties and place on a lined baking dish, bake approximately 1 hour. Do this the day before and pop them into a hot oven for 10 minutes to crisp up on the day. Cool slightly and arrange on a serving platter, then top with smoked salmon and sour cream, mix some horse radish in the sour cream if you like! sprinkle with shopped parsley or chives.

Bloody Mary gazpacho served in a shot glass
This refreshing soup is much better served cold from the fridge, in individual glasses and is much better made on the day, but it is super easy and won't take long. Break some sourdough into smaller pieces and sprinkle with a few tablespoons of red wine vinegar. Puree with some chopped ripe tomatoes, a clove of garlic, chopped and seeded red capsicum, a chopped cucumber, chopped spring onions, a pinch of sugar, salt and pepper, and finally a few tablespoons of olive oil in a thin stream. Add chili if you like! Pour into shot glasses with a small drizzle of vodka, and top with a cooked prawn for extra points.

Individual prawn and avocado cocktail
This is a great way to include prawns in the Christmas feast when your budget needs to stretch. Arrange crisp lettuce, a few peeled prawns, and thick slices of avocado into shot glasses, drizzle liberally with seafood sauce. Serve with cocktail forks if you have them.

Chicken liver pate on Melba toasts
I love pate, and chances are your older relatives will too. You can buy it but it's super easy and impressive to make your own. Clean, (trim any yucky looking bits) wash and dry the freshest chicken livers you can find. Gently fry the livers in 1 tablespoon of butter until cooked on the outside but pink in the middle. Remove to a plate, then without cleaning the pan saute half a finely chopped white onion until soft, and add to the livers. Deglaze the pan with a quarter of a cup of brandy, then throw the whole lot in a blender with some salt and white pepper. Blend until very, very smooth, pour into a Tupperware container (or something fancier) with a lid and refrigerate overnight. Serve with Melba toasts. SO. YUM.

If your guests arrive super early, a small glass of chopped fruit, Greek yogurt and home made muesli might be appropriate! All of these can be at least partially prepared in advance, leaving you plenty of time to get on with the day; or save them for the afternoon, when your second wave of guests arrive!

Please pop over to the other In The Sack Bloggers, and see what wisdom they have for you when it comes to surviving the Christmas season. We are a varied bunch, and there is sure to be something there to suit everyone!

Merry Christmas to you xx

Kylie Purtell – A Study In Contradictions

Sarah - Creating Contentment

Vicki – The Fashionable Mum

Demelza Buckley

Tegan – Musings of the Misguided

Shannon – How Can I Wear That

Driumme – Snippets and Spirits

Sarah – Style Unearthed

Barbe – Fashionista in Suburbia

Kristie – Elements at Home

Jo – Lifestyle Fifty

Crazy neighbours, a trip down memory lane.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 21:00:00 +0000

I've lived in a lot of different places, and had a lot of crazy neighbours, and today I want to share some of those memories with you. I'm not saying that I've never been that crazy neighbour because let's face it, we all have those moments. I've tried to only include neighbours whose craziness impacted on me; what happens in your own backyard is really none of my business. Also, to save myself getting sued there will be no photos!

Lets take a walk down memory lane, shall we?

Res'n was a taxi driver, actually he was a lawyer before he moved to Australia with his wife, but worked as a taxi driver when he got here. He worked the night shift, and apparently his wife spent the day pretending to be married to someone else. Poor Res'n, he was heartbroken when he arrived home early one day to discover this. His wife moved out, and Res'n spent the next six months sitting in a tree in his back yard, crying, smoking bongs, and playing his trumpet. I shit you not. This wasn't that bad for us because we worked all day, but weekends were a bit much.

We once lived in a very fancy, historic apartment building right in the middle of Kings Cross. The place was being freshly painted before we moved in, and the paint was still wet when we got the keys; so we lit some incense and left it for a day to get rid of the fumes. When we moved in we where surprised to see the locks drilled out; the elderly lady next door had apparently seen smoke coming from under the door and had called the fire department. One time she told me off loudly as I took some friends in the old timey cage elevator to the roof to see the city view. One time she opened her door and actually hissed at me.

We rented a house once who's neighbour was very serious in his pursuit of martial arts. He took himself very seriously, anyway. We would see him at the beach at sunrise, in his karate outfit, performing hakas to the sun. Or on the headland, looking like a 40 year old karate kid, having a grasshopper moment with the horizon. His family did not share his love for self discipline, and his dog was an absolute nut job. His wife once asked me to not go into my backyard at night because it made her dog bark.

We lived in a house with a steep backyard that was full of bamboo, and the schoolteacher next door was very unhappy about it. 'You have to get rid of the bamboo, it breeds ticks, the doctor said I may have Limes Disease from your bamboo!' It was impossible for us to remove the bamboo, and it would have cost thousands to get rid of it (seriously, the quote was something like $4000, ridiculous) We explained endlessly that we were only renting, it wasn't in our budget or our responsibility to remove the bamboo. Still she complained. We gave her the number of the real estate, who I think had heard from her before; in any case they were not helpful. She was not happy. She started feeding our dog questionable things over the fence.We moved.

When The Gentleman was born, we lived next door to a very attractive couple of beachy hipsters who fought tooth and nail every day. They had a beautiful small child, and sometimes on the weekend there was a lot of banging and shouting going on. Occasionally I called the police reporting a domestic disturbance, once the wife had a black eye, and often the husband would walk around the street drunk. Their response to us calling the police was to call the police on us; which was bizarrely unwarranted. The Gentleman was asleep in his cot, I was asleep in our bed, and hubs was whispering in my ear. 'Wake up! You've got to come to the door and say hello to the policemen, they think you are hiding'

Me: What?
Hubs, half laughing but a bit worried: Someone reported a domestic disturbance, they won't leave until they physically sight you.
Me: What?
Hubs: Just get up and come to the door!
Me, at the door: Hello?
Policemen: Good morning ma'am. Are you OK? We had a report of shouting and came to investigate.
Me: What?
Policemen: Have you been physically injured or assaulted in any way? Would you like to talk to us away from your husband?
Hubs: .........
Me: Of for gods sake, I've just had a baby 2 days ago! I am too tired for any domestic disturbance! I've been asleep for a few hours now and so has the baby! There has been no shouting! Oh great, you have WOKEN THE BABY!! Would you like to come in and see him?
Policemen, rapidly retreating: Sorry to disturb you ma'am.
Me: For fucks sake! They called me 'MA'AM'!!

The worst neighbour's though, are the ones we have right now. Yes, I've saved the best for last! I've written about them before and frankly I have been too scared to write about them since, although I've come to believe they cannot read so feel safe in telling you about them now. Our house over looks their house, and we can't go out our backdoor without seeing into their yard, and I wish to Goddess it didn't.

There is an elderly mum, with 3 adult children. She has a daughter who lived in a caravan down the side of the house for a while with her husband and a few children, she bred bull dogs in the back yard. The eldest son was at times extremely volatile, and for years would storm around the house and yard, yelling, swearing, and being unpleasant. Once I threatened to call the police because he was going to hit his mother with a metal pole, although his mum called Mr BC and asked us not to because her son had so many warrants out for him, he would surely go to jail. Sadly, this son died earlier this year; he was found by his mum in the garage one morning, which is something no mum on earth should have to go through. The youngest son though....he is a very nasty piece of work. He is loud, aggressive, foul mouthed, and scary. My aunt came to visit last year, and we sat in the vegetable garden having a cup of coffee, when the neighbour started telling his mum off. I think he was actually doing it because he had an audience in us, but he talks like this to everyone, all the time, perhaps he had no idea we were there. Brace yourselves.

'You fuckin whorebag cunt, >Mums name<. You don't even know who your mother is, ya fuckhead, probably the guy that fucked your mother in the back seat of the car! ya fuckin mongrel cunt, you are fucked in the head. Deadset, I oughta take a piece of wood and slap you up side the head, do everyone a fuckin favour, not have to listen to your whinging shit anymore, ya fuckin mongrel cunt.'

He only ever stays a few days now before his mother kicks him out, with a drama like this happening in the driveway. One time, I stood at my backdoor looking at the moon, while he was in his driveway, next door, at the front of the house. He screamed at me 'Why are you lookin at the moon for, ya fuckin weird cunt? You are one weird operator, lady!' One time, I couldn't control my laughter listening to him lose it while try and activate a SIM card over the phone, and he told me he was going to break my fuckin face.

Seriously, the worst neighbours we have ever had. Whenever he starts we shut the windows, bring the boys inside and put a loud video on. I've never actually been scared, although there have been a few freaky moments like when I accidentally made eye contact with him as the police bent him over the car bonnet and put handcuffs on him. Anyway, they have a police scanner on their phone and take off before the police get there, so please don't be alarmed on my behalf.

Don't you wish there was a Neighbor Report option before your bought a house, like a Building Inspection? Tell me about your weirdest neighbour, do you have any stories that could top these? Surely I am not the magnet for weirdos in Australia!

Chocolate Caramel Slice

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 23:26:00 +0000

Recently The Gentleman turned 10 (I know! How did this happen?!) and he requested this slice to take to school for his class birthday cake. It was the perfect choice for him because A; it's a delicious crowd pleaser and B; it is entirely egg free, which is a big win for the egg intolerant Gentleman. Also, his teacher loves caramel and a little brown nosing never goes astray.

My mother in law is the queen of making this, however she wasn't available so I had to roll up my sleeves myself. This was no hardship, because despite having a few steps it's a very easy recipe. Many 'new' cookbooks say to make the base from crushed biscuits and melted butter, but I went old school and baked it, which turned out beautifully.

Chocolate Caramel Slice

Ingredients

2 cups of plain flour
1 cup of raw sugar
1 cup of desiccated coconut
250g of butter
Another 120g of butter
4 tablespoons of golden syrup
2 x 400g of sweetened condensed milk
500g of cooking chocolate (with cooking chocolate I prefer dark, it seems to not have that weird compound taste that milk chocolate has.)

Method

Biscuit Base

Mix the flour, sugar, and coconut together.
Melt the 250g of butter and stir it into the dry ingredients.
Press mixture evenly into a baking tin lined with oven bake. My baking tin is approximately 30x60 cms, which sounds like a lot of slice. It IS a lot of slice, but I was making it for a whole classroom, and even if I wasn't, it wouldn't go to waste!
Bake in a medium oven for approx 20 minutes, check to ensure it doesn't burn.

Caramel Filling

While the base is in the oven, make the caramel. Melt the 120g of butter, then stir in the golden syrup and the sweetened condensed milk. If you need to taste the condensed milk, don't cut yourself on the tin. Mmmmmm.
Stir constantly over low heat for a few minutes. It won't thicken but it will burn easily, so take it off the heat the second it catches.
Pour the caramel over the cooked base and return to the oven for 20 minutes.
Set aside to cool.

Chocolate Topping

Chop the chocolate roughly, and microwave for 1 and a half minutes or less. Take it out and stir it well. Chocolate will burn easily in the microwave, yet hold it's shape even though it's completely melted, so don't let it fool you into thinking it's not melting! After the first 1 and a half minutes, take it out every 10 seconds and stir well. Play it safe, if it burns you will have to throw it away and that would be a terrible waste of chocolate!
When it's completely melted, pour over the cooled caramel slice and spread out with a spoon so the whole thing is covered. Return to the fridge to set.
Before it sets completely, cut through the chocolate layer to mark where the slices will go, then return it to the fridge. This will save it breaking it into uneven shards when you go to cut it properly. I cut this into 30 squares.

The gentleman assured me that not only did the teacher have second helpings, but the girls in the class absolutely loved it, which pleased him greatly. Do you send your little ones to school with a cake or cupcakes on their birthday? At birthday time in this house we seem to have the class cake, the cake on your actual birthday, then another cake if there is a birthday party. That's a lot of cake, lucky a birthday only comes around once a year!